Fundamentalist and Presbyterian seem to be a bit of a contradiction as well…WTF?
I don’t care what y’all say about Texas…I’m moving back there as soon as I can. There’s a totally different kind of redneck in Florida and it’s just weird here.
Wait, it could be worse, it could be the flute-playing weirdo from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
7.
Jake
The count-down starts: How long until Mayor Naugle gets busted for romping with a male hooker.
Despite this, noted CNN, “police report only four incidents of alleged male sex acts in public bathrooms since November 2005.”
There would have been five but fellow GOPer Bob Allen doesn’t cruise that far south.
The mayor has also attacked gay tourists, who spend a billion dollars a year and are directly targeted by visitors’ bureau advertising.
If people don’t start boycotting Ft. L. I’ll have no sympathy. Let the mayor deal with business owners who are out a billion + bucks and go back when there’s a new, non-bastard, mayor.
8.
dslak
Fundamentalist and Presbyterian seem to be a bit of a contradiction
Truly a terrifying institution. Not because of the religion, but the truly repressive atmosphere. It’s where inspiration and artistic ability goes to die.
13.
John S.
What the hell is in the water in Florida?
Nothing special.
Assholes just happen to live in Florida, too. Sometimes they even manage to get elected mayor.
14.
John S.
I don’t care what y’all say about Texas…I’m moving back there as soon as I can. There’s a totally different kind of redneck in Florida and it’s just weird here.
As a long time resident of South Florida, I find this analysis off. I’ve been to Texas plenty, and that place is way scarier than here.
Anyway, I think the rednecks you speak of live in the central and northern parts of the state and not so much down here. The only thing that comes close around Ft. Lauderdale is Davie, which does have some very scary crackers indeed.
Ah, gotcha. Sorry, it’s been a brutal day and I’m working at half-speed here.
17.
Jake
Ian…I…er…well…*sigh*
I got nothing.
Not even a little sympathy? Sheesh.
18.
yet another jeff
Sorry, Jake…was speechless…sympathy should be an understood thing, no need to say it.
John S. Yeah, Tallahassee here…nothing in Texas is like the panhandle…and Tallahassee is the blue dot in the sea of red. Texas…you must be reading the MSM to get your info. Heh…*sigh*
Been in small towns there, and big towns…East Dallas…which is way more fun than Carrollton/Addison. Screw it, I’m moving to Austin. I just need to learn Framemaker first…
19.
Third Eye Open
John S.
Tell me about it, Tallahassee is a bag of swamp-gas, but compared to places like Jax or Pensacola…or Ocala…its a shining-light of tolerance and enlightenment…scary, no?
20.
John S.
Yeah, Tallahassee here…nothing in Texas is like the panhandle
Nothing anywhere is like the panhandle. They don’t call it the Redneck Riviera for nothing (a good friend of mine lives in Panama City).
Texas…you must be reading the MSM to get your info.
Actually, no. I spent years doing consulting work there on behalf my company. I’ve been to Victoria, Houston, Dallas, Abilene, Austin and San Antonio. My opinions are my own, and nobody else’s.
I do like Austin, though.
21.
John S.
Third Eye Open-
I spent much of my teenage and early college years driving all over this state, and it’s amazing how different on region is from the next.
Tallahassee – like Gainesville – is a beacon of light because it is a college town (and the state capital). They would be both be far more backwater if it weren’t for FSU and UF. Jacksonville is probably my least favorite city in this state. Ocala is great for camping (I used to go up there with as a Boy Scout every summer.
But overall, between Miami/Ft. Lauderdale, Tampa/St.Petersburg, Orlando, Naples, Pensacola, Jacksonville, etc. you just can’t ask for a state with more metropolitan areas that are different than Florida.
That’s why we are a bane on national elections.
22.
John S.
Oh, and most unoriginal town name I’ve come across here:
Every state has it’s share. Anyone who lives in So Cal and has ever gone to Vegas via the 15 knows it’s like stepping into a whole other world once you get over the Cajon Pass. Then there’s the eyesore on the 405 which is TBN headquarters and let’s not forget the crystal cathedral.
So we have our share but I have yet to hear things like this happening out here. I think if they did the velvet mafia would take him in for a “makeover” or something.
24.
Third Eye Open
John S.
How about Celebration, Florida
yet another Jeff,
You’re from Tallanasty, too, huh? State Employee or just a dependant of one?
25.
yet another jeff
A Neon at Sebring? Blasphemy!
Third Eye…oddly enough, neither. I think I’m one of about 130 people that aren’t employed by the state or FSU.
26.
Third Eye Open
yaJeff,
Amazing!
I’ve met very few of your kind…you’re a dying breed.
So, where is your favorite watering-hole?
27.
yet another jeff
Generally prefer Leon Pub or Waterworks…but too many friends complain about smoke and seem to like Finnegans Wake…I think too many people I know don’t understand what a bar is supposed to be like. Other times it’s The Warehouse, or hanging out at Railroad Square for Mickee Faust stuff.
28.
Third Eye Open
Ahhh, yes Railroad area is a good choice, other than all the scene kids, and oblivious bikers.
Waterworks has its charms, aside from the fact that the music is about as esoterically sucky as you can possibly get…
but ohhhh, that Leon Pub…what a gem
29.
Punchy
What the hell is in the water in Florida?
Don’t worry. He won’t be mayor very long. There’s an enormous gay population down there (albeit more in S. Miami than The Laud), and they’re about as gay-tolerant as you’ll find outside of Key West and San Fran.. This guy will be vilified by the citizens and media down there.
John S– Davie? Scary crackers? Nah. The downtown motif is all country! If there’s ‘necks in SoFla I’d put them in Florida City and/or Homestead…
That’s not a real town. Disney invented that shit out of whole cloth. My wife read a book in one of her sociology classes in college specifically about the failed social experiment that was/is Celebration, Florida.
A Neon at Sebring? Blasphemy!
Hey it was 1996, and that car was fun. Also, it’s not like Moroso where you pay to go on the track. Sebring is a closed track as far as I know. We actually drove through a break into the pavillion and snuck onto the track do laps. The security guard was not amused.
32.
yet another jeff
Oh…well…sneaking a Neon onto the track is awesome. That changes everything and I don’t mean that snarkily.
Third…I still miss the Lakewood Landing in Dallas, sort of a direct mix of 4th Quarter, Waterworks, and Leon Pub.
I do miss that accordion band at Waterworks…
33.
John S.
Davie? Scary crackers? Nah. The downtown motif is all country!
LOL
Actually, the mayor is trying to get rid of that country western motif so real businesses will be willing to move into town. When I was a younger, though, my Boy Scout troop refused to march in a Memorial Day parade in Davie because the KKK was marching as well. That was in 1990. I don’t think it’s still like that, but there are definitely still some good ol’ boys left.
If there’s ‘necks in SoFla I’d put them in Florida City and/or Homestead
I forgot about Florida City, so yeah. But Homestead lost quite a few of its ‘necks after Hurricane Andrew (they moved up to Broward and Palm Beach counties). There’s a lot of immigrant farmers around there nowadays, as the city is pretty rural and has a lot of agriculture going on. Of course there is a NASCAR race in Homestead, so…
34.
ImJohnGalt
I don’t get it. That guy looks nothing like David Rice or his wife’s breasts.
Later that day, Murphy called the victim to explain that he had found himself lying on the floor beside the man’s bunk. The victim, Murphy said, had fondled Murphy’s hair in his sleep, so Murphy took this gesture as a green light for further intimacy. Unconvinced by this scenario, and unmoved by Murphy’s pleadings, the man filed a complaint.
Do not touch Young Republicans, do not look at Young Republicans, if you see a Young Republican please notify the authorities immediately.
40.
demimondian
Oh, God. If Tallahassee is a blue dot in a sea of red, then something has sure changed since I went to Leon in the seventies.
41.
yet another jeff
What do you mean?
42.
demimondian
Back then, Tallahassee was the belly button on the bible belt. We had protests because one of the HS english teachers taught [gasp!] _Inherit the Wind_ in 10th grade American Lit.
43.
Rome Again
That’s not a real town. Disney invented that shit out of whole cloth. My wife read a book in one of her sociology classes in college specifically about the failed social experiment that was/is Celebration, Florida.
Yeah, just wait until the Dominos Pizza founder creates the full fledged town of “Ave Maria, FL” (outside of Naples).
And FWIW, Wario ROCKS!
44.
Tony J
So that’s not Friedman measuring out one of his Victory Units?
Could have fooled me.
45.
BIRDZILLA
What ever you do dont ever make ALBATOSS mad
Comments are closed.
Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!
Zifnab
Hahahahaha!
BURN!
Otto Man
Uh… don’t separated at birth posts usually require two images?
Tim F.
see John’s post below.
Dreggas
What the hell is in the water in Florida?
yet another jeff
Fundamentalist and Presbyterian seem to be a bit of a contradiction as well…WTF?
I don’t care what y’all say about Texas…I’m moving back there as soon as I can. There’s a totally different kind of redneck in Florida and it’s just weird here.
norbizness
Wait, it could be worse, it could be the flute-playing weirdo from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
Jake
The count-down starts: How long until Mayor Naugle gets busted for romping with a male hooker.
There would have been five but fellow GOPer Bob Allen doesn’t cruise that far south.
If people don’t start boycotting Ft. L. I’ll have no sympathy. Let the mayor deal with business owners who are out a billion + bucks and go back when there’s a new, non-bastard, mayor.
dslak
You’re obviously not familiar with Dr. D. James Kennedy.
rawshark
I don’t get how someone can call themselves conservative and be a member of a Protestant Church.
IanY77
I went to a private school in Ontario Canada run by a bunch of Fundamentalist Anglicans from Texas.
Every last word of that statement was true.
yet another jeff
Ian…I…er…well…*sigh*
I got nothing.
IanY77
http://www.grenvillecc.ca
Truly a terrifying institution. Not because of the religion, but the truly repressive atmosphere. It’s where inspiration and artistic ability goes to die.
John S.
Nothing special.
Assholes just happen to live in Florida, too. Sometimes they even manage to get elected mayor.
John S.
As a long time resident of South Florida, I find this analysis off. I’ve been to Texas plenty, and that place is way scarier than here.
Anyway, I think the rednecks you speak of live in the central and northern parts of the state and not so much down here. The only thing that comes close around Ft. Lauderdale is Davie, which does have some very scary crackers indeed.
IanY77
Great Dave Barry column on why Florida is so wacky.
Otto Man
Ah, gotcha. Sorry, it’s been a brutal day and I’m working at half-speed here.
Jake
Not even a little sympathy? Sheesh.
yet another jeff
Sorry, Jake…was speechless…sympathy should be an understood thing, no need to say it.
John S. Yeah, Tallahassee here…nothing in Texas is like the panhandle…and Tallahassee is the blue dot in the sea of red. Texas…you must be reading the MSM to get your info. Heh…*sigh*
Been in small towns there, and big towns…East Dallas…which is way more fun than Carrollton/Addison. Screw it, I’m moving to Austin. I just need to learn Framemaker first…
Third Eye Open
John S.
Tell me about it, Tallahassee is a bag of swamp-gas, but compared to places like Jax or Pensacola…or Ocala…its a shining-light of tolerance and enlightenment…scary, no?
John S.
Nothing anywhere is like the panhandle. They don’t call it the Redneck Riviera for nothing (a good friend of mine lives in Panama City).
Actually, no. I spent years doing consulting work there on behalf my company. I’ve been to Victoria, Houston, Dallas, Abilene, Austin and San Antonio. My opinions are my own, and nobody else’s.
I do like Austin, though.
John S.
Third Eye Open-
I spent much of my teenage and early college years driving all over this state, and it’s amazing how different on region is from the next.
Tallahassee – like Gainesville – is a beacon of light because it is a college town (and the state capital). They would be both be far more backwater if it weren’t for FSU and UF. Jacksonville is probably my least favorite city in this state. Ocala is great for camping (I used to go up there with as a Boy Scout every summer.
But overall, between Miami/Ft. Lauderdale, Tampa/St.Petersburg, Orlando, Naples, Pensacola, Jacksonville, etc. you just can’t ask for a state with more metropolitan areas that are different than Florida.
That’s why we are a bane on national elections.
John S.
Oh, and most unoriginal town name I’ve come across here:
Lorida, Florida.
My friend and I happened to pass it on our way to sneak onto the racetrack at Sebring to do a few laps in his Dodge Neon.
Dreggas
Every state has it’s share. Anyone who lives in So Cal and has ever gone to Vegas via the 15 knows it’s like stepping into a whole other world once you get over the Cajon Pass. Then there’s the eyesore on the 405 which is TBN headquarters and let’s not forget the crystal cathedral.
So we have our share but I have yet to hear things like this happening out here. I think if they did the velvet mafia would take him in for a “makeover” or something.
Third Eye Open
John S.
How about Celebration, Florida
yet another Jeff,
You’re from Tallanasty, too, huh? State Employee or just a dependant of one?
yet another jeff
A Neon at Sebring? Blasphemy!
Third Eye…oddly enough, neither. I think I’m one of about 130 people that aren’t employed by the state or FSU.
Third Eye Open
yaJeff,
Amazing!
I’ve met very few of your kind…you’re a dying breed.
So, where is your favorite watering-hole?
yet another jeff
Generally prefer Leon Pub or Waterworks…but too many friends complain about smoke and seem to like Finnegans Wake…I think too many people I know don’t understand what a bar is supposed to be like. Other times it’s The Warehouse, or hanging out at Railroad Square for Mickee Faust stuff.
Third Eye Open
Ahhh, yes Railroad area is a good choice, other than all the scene kids, and oblivious bikers.
Waterworks has its charms, aside from the fact that the music is about as esoterically sucky as you can possibly get…
but ohhhh, that Leon Pub…what a gem
Punchy
Don’t worry. He won’t be mayor very long. There’s an enormous gay population down there (albeit more in S. Miami than The Laud), and they’re about as gay-tolerant as you’ll find outside of Key West and San Fran.. This guy will be vilified by the citizens and media down there.
John S– Davie? Scary crackers? Nah. The downtown motif is all country! If there’s ‘necks in SoFla I’d put them in Florida City and/or Homestead…
Dreggas
Me thinks he should read this.
John S.
That’s not a real town. Disney invented that shit out of whole cloth. My wife read a book in one of her sociology classes in college specifically about the failed social experiment that was/is Celebration, Florida.
Hey it was 1996, and that car was fun. Also, it’s not like Moroso where you pay to go on the track. Sebring is a closed track as far as I know. We actually drove through a break into the pavillion and snuck onto the track do laps. The security guard was not amused.
yet another jeff
Oh…well…sneaking a Neon onto the track is awesome. That changes everything and I don’t mean that snarkily.
Third…I still miss the Lakewood Landing in Dallas, sort of a direct mix of 4th Quarter, Waterworks, and Leon Pub.
I do miss that accordion band at Waterworks…
John S.
LOL
Actually, the mayor is trying to get rid of that country western motif so real businesses will be willing to move into town. When I was a younger, though, my Boy Scout troop refused to march in a Memorial Day parade in Davie because the KKK was marching as well. That was in 1990. I don’t think it’s still like that, but there are definitely still some good ol’ boys left.
I forgot about Florida City, so yeah. But Homestead lost quite a few of its ‘necks after Hurricane Andrew (they moved up to Broward and Palm Beach counties). There’s a lot of immigrant farmers around there nowadays, as the city is pretty rural and has a lot of agriculture going on. Of course there is a NASCAR race in Homestead, so…
ImJohnGalt
I don’t get it. That guy looks nothing like David Rice or his wife’s breasts.
Jake
Surgeon General’s Warning:
Stay the Fuck Away from Young Republicans.
And a word of advice to YRs: “Yeah, sure,” is not the appropriate response when a judge asks you about your guilty plea.
Dreggas
This isn’t the one who just had to step down for giving someone head in a hotel room is it?
Pooh
Tim F. wins the internets for today.
Pelikan
“I’m’a Wario! I’m’a Gonna Win!” Guess those poor bastards are going to have to watch out for red shells now…
Jake
Nope. Different creep. That ugly event allegedly occurred in the home of the victim’s sister.
http://www.planetout.com/news/article.html?2007/08/09/2 (Damn links aren’t working)
Do not touch Young Republicans, do not look at Young Republicans, if you see a Young Republican please notify the authorities immediately.
demimondian
Oh, God. If Tallahassee is a blue dot in a sea of red, then something has sure changed since I went to Leon in the seventies.
yet another jeff
What do you mean?
demimondian
Back then, Tallahassee was the belly button on the bible belt. We had protests because one of the HS english teachers taught [gasp!] _Inherit the Wind_ in 10th grade American Lit.
Rome Again
Yeah, just wait until the Dominos Pizza founder creates the full fledged town of “Ave Maria, FL” (outside of Naples).
And FWIW, Wario ROCKS!
Tony J
So that’s not Friedman measuring out one of his Victory Units?
Could have fooled me.
BIRDZILLA
What ever you do dont ever make ALBATOSS mad