• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

This fight is for everything.

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

The revolution will be supervised.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Sports / Separated At Birth?

Separated At Birth?

by Tim F|  August 9, 200712:17 pm| 45 Comments

This post is in: Sports, General Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail
Wario

Sob.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « A Disgrace
Next Post: Open Thread »

Reader Interactions

45Comments

  1. 1.

    Zifnab

    August 9, 2007 at 12:21 pm

    Hahahahaha!

    BURN!

  2. 2.

    Otto Man

    August 9, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    Uh… don’t separated at birth posts usually require two images?

  3. 3.

    Tim F.

    August 9, 2007 at 12:40 pm

    see John’s post below.

  4. 4.

    Dreggas

    August 9, 2007 at 12:41 pm

    What the hell is in the water in Florida?

  5. 5.

    yet another jeff

    August 9, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    Fundamentalist and Presbyterian seem to be a bit of a contradiction as well…WTF?
    I don’t care what y’all say about Texas…I’m moving back there as soon as I can. There’s a totally different kind of redneck in Florida and it’s just weird here.

  6. 6.

    norbizness

    August 9, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    Wait, it could be worse, it could be the flute-playing weirdo from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.

  7. 7.

    Jake

    August 9, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    The count-down starts: How long until Mayor Naugle gets busted for romping with a male hooker.

    Despite this, noted CNN, “police report only four incidents of alleged male sex acts in public bathrooms since November 2005.”

    There would have been five but fellow GOPer Bob Allen doesn’t cruise that far south.

    The mayor has also attacked gay tourists, who spend a billion dollars a year and are directly targeted by visitors’ bureau advertising.

    If people don’t start boycotting Ft. L. I’ll have no sympathy. Let the mayor deal with business owners who are out a billion + bucks and go back when there’s a new, non-bastard, mayor.

  8. 8.

    dslak

    August 9, 2007 at 1:16 pm

    Fundamentalist and Presbyterian seem to be a bit of a contradiction

    You’re obviously not familiar with Dr. D. James Kennedy.

  9. 9.

    rawshark

    August 9, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    I don’t get how someone can call themselves conservative and be a member of a Protestant Church.

  10. 10.

    IanY77

    August 9, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    I went to a private school in Ontario Canada run by a bunch of Fundamentalist Anglicans from Texas.

    Every last word of that statement was true.

  11. 11.

    yet another jeff

    August 9, 2007 at 1:59 pm

    Ian…I…er…well…*sigh*

    I got nothing.

  12. 12.

    IanY77

    August 9, 2007 at 2:05 pm

    http://www.grenvillecc.ca

    Truly a terrifying institution. Not because of the religion, but the truly repressive atmosphere. It’s where inspiration and artistic ability goes to die.

  13. 13.

    John S.

    August 9, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    What the hell is in the water in Florida?

    Nothing special.

    Assholes just happen to live in Florida, too. Sometimes they even manage to get elected mayor.

  14. 14.

    John S.

    August 9, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    I don’t care what y’all say about Texas…I’m moving back there as soon as I can. There’s a totally different kind of redneck in Florida and it’s just weird here.

    As a long time resident of South Florida, I find this analysis off. I’ve been to Texas plenty, and that place is way scarier than here.

    Anyway, I think the rednecks you speak of live in the central and northern parts of the state and not so much down here. The only thing that comes close around Ft. Lauderdale is Davie, which does have some very scary crackers indeed.

  15. 15.

    IanY77

    August 9, 2007 at 2:19 pm

    Great Dave Barry column on why Florida is so wacky.

  16. 16.

    Otto Man

    August 9, 2007 at 2:26 pm

    Ah, gotcha. Sorry, it’s been a brutal day and I’m working at half-speed here.

  17. 17.

    Jake

    August 9, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    Ian…I…er…well…*sigh*

    I got nothing.

    Not even a little sympathy? Sheesh.

  18. 18.

    yet another jeff

    August 9, 2007 at 2:34 pm

    Sorry, Jake…was speechless…sympathy should be an understood thing, no need to say it.

    John S. Yeah, Tallahassee here…nothing in Texas is like the panhandle…and Tallahassee is the blue dot in the sea of red. Texas…you must be reading the MSM to get your info. Heh…*sigh*

    Been in small towns there, and big towns…East Dallas…which is way more fun than Carrollton/Addison. Screw it, I’m moving to Austin. I just need to learn Framemaker first…

  19. 19.

    Third Eye Open

    August 9, 2007 at 2:46 pm

    John S.

    Tell me about it, Tallahassee is a bag of swamp-gas, but compared to places like Jax or Pensacola…or Ocala…its a shining-light of tolerance and enlightenment…scary, no?

  20. 20.

    John S.

    August 9, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    Yeah, Tallahassee here…nothing in Texas is like the panhandle

    Nothing anywhere is like the panhandle. They don’t call it the Redneck Riviera for nothing (a good friend of mine lives in Panama City).

    Texas…you must be reading the MSM to get your info.

    Actually, no. I spent years doing consulting work there on behalf my company. I’ve been to Victoria, Houston, Dallas, Abilene, Austin and San Antonio. My opinions are my own, and nobody else’s.

    I do like Austin, though.

  21. 21.

    John S.

    August 9, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    Third Eye Open-

    I spent much of my teenage and early college years driving all over this state, and it’s amazing how different on region is from the next.

    Tallahassee – like Gainesville – is a beacon of light because it is a college town (and the state capital). They would be both be far more backwater if it weren’t for FSU and UF. Jacksonville is probably my least favorite city in this state. Ocala is great for camping (I used to go up there with as a Boy Scout every summer.

    But overall, between Miami/Ft. Lauderdale, Tampa/St.Petersburg, Orlando, Naples, Pensacola, Jacksonville, etc. you just can’t ask for a state with more metropolitan areas that are different than Florida.

    That’s why we are a bane on national elections.

  22. 22.

    John S.

    August 9, 2007 at 3:05 pm

    Oh, and most unoriginal town name I’ve come across here:

    Lorida, Florida.

    My friend and I happened to pass it on our way to sneak onto the racetrack at Sebring to do a few laps in his Dodge Neon.

  23. 23.

    Dreggas

    August 9, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    Every state has it’s share. Anyone who lives in So Cal and has ever gone to Vegas via the 15 knows it’s like stepping into a whole other world once you get over the Cajon Pass. Then there’s the eyesore on the 405 which is TBN headquarters and let’s not forget the crystal cathedral.

    So we have our share but I have yet to hear things like this happening out here. I think if they did the velvet mafia would take him in for a “makeover” or something.

  24. 24.

    Third Eye Open

    August 9, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    John S.

    How about Celebration, Florida

    yet another Jeff,

    You’re from Tallanasty, too, huh? State Employee or just a dependant of one?

  25. 25.

    yet another jeff

    August 9, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    A Neon at Sebring? Blasphemy!

    Third Eye…oddly enough, neither. I think I’m one of about 130 people that aren’t employed by the state or FSU.

  26. 26.

    Third Eye Open

    August 9, 2007 at 3:34 pm

    yaJeff,

    Amazing!

    I’ve met very few of your kind…you’re a dying breed.

    So, where is your favorite watering-hole?

  27. 27.

    yet another jeff

    August 9, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    Generally prefer Leon Pub or Waterworks…but too many friends complain about smoke and seem to like Finnegans Wake…I think too many people I know don’t understand what a bar is supposed to be like. Other times it’s The Warehouse, or hanging out at Railroad Square for Mickee Faust stuff.

  28. 28.

    Third Eye Open

    August 9, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    Ahhh, yes Railroad area is a good choice, other than all the scene kids, and oblivious bikers.

    Waterworks has its charms, aside from the fact that the music is about as esoterically sucky as you can possibly get…

    but ohhhh, that Leon Pub…what a gem

  29. 29.

    Punchy

    August 9, 2007 at 3:53 pm

    What the hell is in the water in Florida?

    Don’t worry. He won’t be mayor very long. There’s an enormous gay population down there (albeit more in S. Miami than The Laud), and they’re about as gay-tolerant as you’ll find outside of Key West and San Fran.. This guy will be vilified by the citizens and media down there.

    John S– Davie? Scary crackers? Nah. The downtown motif is all country! If there’s ‘necks in SoFla I’d put them in Florida City and/or Homestead…

  30. 30.

    Dreggas

    August 9, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    Me thinks he should read this.

  31. 31.

    John S.

    August 9, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    How about How about Celebration, Florida

    That’s not a real town. Disney invented that shit out of whole cloth. My wife read a book in one of her sociology classes in college specifically about the failed social experiment that was/is Celebration, Florida.

    A Neon at Sebring? Blasphemy!

    Hey it was 1996, and that car was fun. Also, it’s not like Moroso where you pay to go on the track. Sebring is a closed track as far as I know. We actually drove through a break into the pavillion and snuck onto the track do laps. The security guard was not amused.

  32. 32.

    yet another jeff

    August 9, 2007 at 4:04 pm

    Oh…well…sneaking a Neon onto the track is awesome. That changes everything and I don’t mean that snarkily.

    Third…I still miss the Lakewood Landing in Dallas, sort of a direct mix of 4th Quarter, Waterworks, and Leon Pub.

    I do miss that accordion band at Waterworks…

  33. 33.

    John S.

    August 9, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    Davie? Scary crackers? Nah. The downtown motif is all country!

    LOL

    Actually, the mayor is trying to get rid of that country western motif so real businesses will be willing to move into town. When I was a younger, though, my Boy Scout troop refused to march in a Memorial Day parade in Davie because the KKK was marching as well. That was in 1990. I don’t think it’s still like that, but there are definitely still some good ol’ boys left.

    If there’s ‘necks in SoFla I’d put them in Florida City and/or Homestead

    I forgot about Florida City, so yeah. But Homestead lost quite a few of its ‘necks after Hurricane Andrew (they moved up to Broward and Palm Beach counties). There’s a lot of immigrant farmers around there nowadays, as the city is pretty rural and has a lot of agriculture going on. Of course there is a NASCAR race in Homestead, so…

  34. 34.

    ImJohnGalt

    August 9, 2007 at 4:19 pm

    I don’t get it. That guy looks nothing like David Rice or his wife’s breasts.

  35. 35.

    Jake

    August 9, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    Surgeon General’s Warning:

    Stay the Fuck Away from Young Republicans.

    And a word of advice to YRs: “Yeah, sure,” is not the appropriate response when a judge asks you about your guilty plea.

  36. 36.

    Dreggas

    August 9, 2007 at 5:17 pm

    Jake Says:

    Surgeon General’s Warning:

    Stay the Fuck Away from Young Republicans.

    And a word of advice to YRs: “Yeah, sure,” is not the appropriate response when a judge asks you about your guilty plea.

    This isn’t the one who just had to step down for giving someone head in a hotel room is it?

  37. 37.

    Pooh

    August 9, 2007 at 5:30 pm

    Tim F. wins the internets for today.

  38. 38.

    Pelikan

    August 9, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    “I’m’a Wario! I’m’a Gonna Win!” Guess those poor bastards are going to have to watch out for red shells now…

  39. 39.

    Jake

    August 9, 2007 at 7:13 pm

    This isn’t the one who just had to step down for giving someone head in a hotel room is it?

    Nope. Different creep. That ugly event allegedly occurred in the home of the victim’s sister.

    http://www.planetout.com/news/article.html?2007/08/09/2 (Damn links aren’t working)

    Later that day, Murphy called the victim to explain that he had found himself lying on the floor beside the man’s bunk. The victim, Murphy said, had fondled Murphy’s hair in his sleep, so Murphy took this gesture as a green light for further intimacy. Unconvinced by this scenario, and unmoved by Murphy’s pleadings, the man filed a complaint.

    Do not touch Young Republicans, do not look at Young Republicans, if you see a Young Republican please notify the authorities immediately.

  40. 40.

    demimondian

    August 9, 2007 at 7:34 pm

    Oh, God. If Tallahassee is a blue dot in a sea of red, then something has sure changed since I went to Leon in the seventies.

  41. 41.

    yet another jeff

    August 9, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    What do you mean?

  42. 42.

    demimondian

    August 9, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    Back then, Tallahassee was the belly button on the bible belt. We had protests because one of the HS english teachers taught [gasp!] _Inherit the Wind_ in 10th grade American Lit.

  43. 43.

    Rome Again

    August 9, 2007 at 11:40 pm

    That’s not a real town. Disney invented that shit out of whole cloth. My wife read a book in one of her sociology classes in college specifically about the failed social experiment that was/is Celebration, Florida.

    Yeah, just wait until the Dominos Pizza founder creates the full fledged town of “Ave Maria, FL” (outside of Naples).

    And FWIW, Wario ROCKS!

  44. 44.

    Tony J

    August 10, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    So that’s not Friedman measuring out one of his Victory Units?

    Could have fooled me.

  45. 45.

    BIRDZILLA

    August 11, 2007 at 4:42 pm

    What ever you do dont ever make ALBATOSS mad

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

2023 Pet Calendars

Pet Calendar Preview: A
Pet Calendar Preview: B

*Calendars can not be ordered until Cafe Press gets their calendar paper in.

Recent Comments

  • Matt McIrvin on Le Clueless (Open Thread) (Feb 5, 2023 @ 6:54pm)
  • delphinium on Le Clueless (Open Thread) (Feb 5, 2023 @ 6:54pm)
  • Skepticat on Sunday Afternoon Open Thread: Anybody Watching the Grammies? (Feb 5, 2023 @ 6:53pm)
  • Another Scott on Sunday Afternoon Open Thread: Anybody Watching the Grammies? (Feb 5, 2023 @ 6:50pm)
  • sab on Sunday Afternoon Open Thread: Anybody Watching the Grammies? (Feb 5, 2023 @ 6:48pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Favorite Dogs & Cats
Classified Documents: A Primer

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Front-pager Twitter

John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
ActualCitizensUnited

Shop Amazon via this link to support Balloon Juice   

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!