Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

He really is that stupid.

No one could have predicted…

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Trump’s legal defense is going to be a dumpster fire inside a clown car on a derailing train.

Everybody saw this coming.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

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22Comments

  1. 1.

    Dave

    Place your bets:

    Gen. Peter Pace, who supported the surge throughout his time as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, is expected to advise Bush to cut forces in Iraq by almost half. The change of heart comes just as he’s on his way out of the Pentagon.

    Will he be:

    A) Smeared
    B) Ignored
    C) A Wake up call to the 28%ers

  3. 3.

    Jake

    Dreggas, I tried and failed to pick one qoute as the most offensive in that fetid pile of shit. I need another shower.

    OK, if the choices were kiss Ari or pick a quote:

    They usually are pretty flexible, and they can — they types of changes they need to make on the ground, that’s what requires the sacrifice from the forces and their families.”

    Simple, just slap the noble term “Sacrifice” on grinding Americans to death and away you go!

  4. 4.

    Dreggas

    It’s a fun one to play how many times did he say “cut-and-run”. And to think some people thought Ari left because he just couldn’t lie anymore.

  5. 5.

    Punchy

    Place your bets:

    Gen. Peter Pace, who supported the surge throughout his time as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, is expected to advise Bush to cut forces in Iraq by almost half. The change of heart comes just as he’s on his way out of the Pentagon.

    And the answer is….B!! Why? Because as long as someone–ANYONE–rebutts him, the rebuttal will get all the airplay. “Pace said what? Who’s Pace?”

    Right on cue…(yes, the Gen is referring to Warner’s plan, but the implication is clear: WE ARE NEVER, EVER LEAVING IRAQ.

  6. 6.

    Tsulagi

    Will he be:

    A) Smeared
    B) Ignored
    C) A Wake up call to the 28%ers

    Obvious answer is B. Pace doesn’t see the bigger picture and he’s just trying to get back for the war critics O’Hanlon and Pollack op-ed.

  7. 7.

    Redhand

    I’ve finished reading various commentaries regarding Bush’s incredible “Vietnam analogy” speech. It is unbelievably depressing to have such an ignoramus as President of this country. I’d like to call him intellectually dishonest, but that would presume he’s capable of analysis and conscious distortion of complex historical facts, rather than being just blind dumb stupid.

    Another low point for me was when Bush called useless tool al-Maliki a “good guy.” A “good guy”! Lord Almighty, why not an “OK dude”? What an idiot the man is to use such inappropriate slang to describe a head of state.

  9. 9.

    The Other Steve

    Gen. Peter Pace obviously has a book deal, people! Sheesh, he cannot be trusted.

    Bush was absolutely right in noting our failure in Vietnam to protect the Cambodians. If we had continued the bombing campaign in Cambodia instead of pandering to a bunch of pussy leftist anti-war mongerers, nobody would have died there.

  10. 10.

    srv

    It strikes me that I’m misusing the word parody. The Onion article is really more of a reflection of the reality TZ embraces.

  11. 11.

    Punchy

    What an idiot the man is to use such inappropriate slang to describe a “head of state“.

    Fixed.

  12. 12.

    Jake

    And to think some people thought Ari left because he just couldn’t lie anymore.

    He needs to work on his chops, the man sounds like a cliche generator that’s thrown a rod.

    But who knows why he chose this moment to crawl out of the waste water treatment facility. Maybe he’s hoping the President will ask him to re-enlist as the Mouth of GeoRon.

  13. 13.

    The Other Steve

    With Tony Snow leaving this month, who do you think will be next?

    I don’t recall press secretaries ever being able to lie like these guys have. Not under clinton, Bush I or Reagan anyway.

  14. 14.

    Zifnab

    With Tony Snow leaving this month, who do you think will be next?

    I don’t recall press secretaries ever being able to lie like these guys have. Not under clinton, Bush I or Reagan anyway.

    My bet is that the White House will take a page out of the Steelers playbook and just put a guy in a big foam suit at the mic named Sir Lie-ey LiesAlot of Lyington, then maybe tell the press corps to just shove it.

  15. 15.

    Punchy

    With Tony Snow leaving this month, who do you think will be next?

    I’d like to pontificate on what the job app says for a gig like that….

    “Help wanted. Applicant needs a suit, tie, and a ridiculous supply of diapers. Must have experience as a magician and wordsmith, perferably with an nuculear plant facility or oil company. Must be arrogant, pompous, self-righteous, and prickly. The applicant must be a Republican donor, votor, syncophant, and apologist. Cannot have tear ducts, just in case they might work….”

  16. 16.

    Face

    With Tony Snow leaving this month, who do you think will be next?

    Anyone thinking how odd it is that Bush’s two biggest hand-holders/suckups are leaving at about the same time? The rumor is that Rove wants no part of the inevitable Iran fiasco…anyone here thinking Snow crunched the same numbers and reached the same conclusion?

    Seriously, who wants to be the WH flak on the day Cheney orders 85 B2’s into Tehran Heights?

  17. 17.

    RSA

    With Tony Snow leaving this month, who do you think will be next?

    I half-expect a true believer of some sort. I mean, Ari Fleischer is a born liar, so it didn’t matter exactly what he was saying, because there was an implicit understanding, as far as I could tell, that everyone in the room, including himself, knew when he was coming out with a whopper. Scott McClelland was Mr. Flop Sweat, not nearly as good at hiding when he knew he was lying, but still a trouper. Tony Snow–well, his Fox News background tells the whole story. I think that the next mouthpiece, unless Dana Perino or someone else is promoted, is likely to be someone who actually believes all the bullshit he’ll be spouting, a safe choice.

  18. 18.

    srv

    Seriously, who wants to be the WH flak on the day Cheney orders 85 B2’s into Tehran Heights?

    Well, that would be impressive since there’s only 21 of them.

  22. 22.

    srv

    Care to change your answer?

    No.

    Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    Seriously, who wants to be the WH flak on the day Cheney orders 85 B2’s into Tehran Heights?

    Only Maximus Retardus would link to a page that discusses B-52 bombers and then tell me that equals the numbers of B-2’s.

    Hint: A B-2 (Spirit) and B-52 (stratofortress) are not the same.

    Clue.

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