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You are here: Home / Questions We Would Like Asked

Questions We Would Like Asked

by John Cole|  October 17, 200711:15 am| 57 Comments

This post is in: General Stupidity

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And while we are at it, the comments yesterday spawned a question many of us would like asked of all the Jack Bauer wannabees in the GOP field who would literally do ANYTHING to save us from terrorist attack:

“Would you have sex with a man to stop a terrorist attack?”

Sure, it is a silly hypothetical, but so is the idiotic ticking-time-bomb scenario people throw around so damned much as an excuse for torture. So what is it, Mitt, Sam, Rudy, Mike, and company? Which is worse? A hot gay dicking or a nuke detonated in NYC?

If you can come up with any other questions that need to be answered, by all means throw them in the comments.

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57Comments

  1. 1.

    Zifnab

    October 17, 2007 at 11:24 am

    The Fox Filming Set / fertilization clinic has caught on fire. Which would you save? A petri dish full of 10,000 frozen embryos of cloned Jesus or Jack Bauer tied to a nuclear device?

  2. 2.

    Zifnab

    October 17, 2007 at 11:25 am

    So what is it, Mitt, Sam, Rudy, Mike, and company? Which is worse? A hot gay dicking or a nuke detonated in NYC?

    And NY went to Kerry in ’04, so clearly they deserve to get nuked.

  3. 3.

    Bombadil

    October 17, 2007 at 11:25 am

    I believe at the next set of debates (both Republican and Democratic), we should check both the wisdom and education level of the participants by asking them, “Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax meteriam possit materiari?”

  4. 4.

    Dennis-SGMM

    October 17, 2007 at 11:42 am

    If lowering taxes results in increased revenues then would lowering taxes to zero result in infinite revenues?

  5. 5.

    RSA

    October 17, 2007 at 11:44 am

    A hot gay dicking or a nuke detonated in NYC?

    I think the best person to make this call is. . .Dr. Tran.

    Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax meteriam possit materiari?

    I think you’d have to repeat that a few times, Chuck.

  6. 6.

    John S.

    October 17, 2007 at 11:45 am

    “Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax meteriam possit materiari?”

    Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert!

  7. 7.

    BCT

    October 17, 2007 at 11:46 am

    How about: “Would you pay your taxes if it prevented a terrorist attack?”

  8. 8.

    John S.

    October 17, 2007 at 11:48 am

    Since you got me in a Latin frame of mind, Bombadil, I think it’s worth pointing out that the one phrase which the Republican candidates could likely recite is:

    Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

  9. 9.

    Bombadil

    October 17, 2007 at 11:52 am

    Or this: Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

  10. 10.

    jcricket

    October 17, 2007 at 11:59 am

    The pressing question is what to do about the existential threat posed by Sauron and his hordes of orcs. What’s the Republican plan for dealing with that menace?

  11. 11.

    UnkyT

    October 17, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    Would you say something nice about Hillary Clinton to prevent an imminent attack?

  12. 12.

    gypsy howell

    October 17, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    or this:
    semper ubi sub ubi?

    Pedants.

  13. 13.

    Zifnab

    October 17, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    Jimmy Carter
    Great President or Greatest President?

    Just because its fun to see the CDS get froothed up in the base.

  14. 14.

    Jake

    October 17, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    “Are you really a dim-witted dick or do you just act like one in hopes of getting elected?”

    Also:

    “Would you have sex with a guy who can reel off Latin in order to stop him from doing it again?”

  15. 15.

    Bombadil

    October 17, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    “Would you have sex with a guy who can reel off Latin in order to stop him from doing it again?”

    Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?

  16. 16.

    SDM

    October 17, 2007 at 12:11 pm

    “To the three of you who have been treated for cancer, was it pretty much like buying a TV set? Did you shop around and figure out who was offering the cheapest treatment? Do you feel like, if it was too expensive, you could have just opted out so as to lower demand and thus decrease prices?”

  17. 17.

    The Other Andrew

    October 17, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    “Mr. Romney, I fully agree with you about the dangers of the Middle East being stuck in the twelfth century. I think we should do everything possible to differentiate ourselves from certain nations in that region. Given Iran’s hilarious denial of gay people, don’t you think it’d be a good idea to legalize gay marriage?”

    “Well, um–I support modernity, but–I mean, even Iran isn’t wrong about everyth–uh-oh.”

  18. 18.

    John S.

    October 17, 2007 at 12:13 pm

    Or this: Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

    Except for Giuliani. Despite his little speech to the NRA (and 9/11), we know he is pro-catapultuum proscriptae.

    Where I think they can all agree is on:

    Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Mesopotamia vincendarum.

  19. 19.

    whippoorwill

    October 17, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    Would you have sex with a man to stop a terrorist attack?”

    Only if the man was Ann Coulter and only if a de-con shower was near by.

  20. 20.

    grumpy realist

    October 17, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    “Do you believe that “princeps legibus solutus est” and what’s your stance on the lex Julia?”

    “Do you believe in “quod omnis tangit ab omnibus approbetur”? And do you believe that there are human rights that cannot be superceded by the will of the Executive?”

    Here’s another: “what is your definition of treason?”

  21. 21.

    jenniebee

    October 17, 2007 at 12:18 pm

    ooh – I like SDM’s!

    How about:

    Mark Steyn posits that there is a growing Islamofascist threat because Muslims are “outbreeding” non-Muslims. Do you support abortions for Muslims? Would you support “hard interrogation techniques” being used on a pregnant suspected terrorist? If those techniques caused a miscarriage, would you consider that to be a forced abortion? Follow up question: would you support a constitutional amendment guaranteeing a right to abortion, provided the abortion procedure was waterboarding?

  22. 22.

    John S.

    October 17, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?

    ROFL

  23. 23.

    jcricket

    October 17, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Mesopotamia vincendarum.

    Loosely translated I believe this means “THIS IS SPARTA!!!!”

  24. 24.

    Zifnab

    October 17, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    Do you like pie?

  25. 25.

    PattyP

    October 17, 2007 at 12:40 pm

    “Would you fully fund SCHIP as well as call out Michelle Malkin for the sociopath she is to stop a terrorist attack?”

  26. 26.

    Sirkowski

    October 17, 2007 at 12:40 pm

    BCT Says:
    How about: “Would you pay your taxes if it prevented a terrorist attack?”

    Since they lowered taxes during wartime, I think it’s safe to think the answer would be NO.

  27. 27.

    Third Eye Open

    October 17, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    Carpe-Carnim!

  28. 28.

    Ugh

    October 17, 2007 at 12:43 pm

    The Jim Henley question (IIRC):

    Would you rape your 10 year old child in order to stop a terrorist attack?

    Or the John Yoo version:

    Do you believe the President has the power to have an innocent child’s testicles crushded in order to prevent a terrorist attack? Would you do so?

  29. 29.

    Cassius Chaerea

    October 17, 2007 at 12:44 pm

    Bombadil: The first one that ZOTs the interviewer, I’ll vote for.

  30. 30.

    chopper

    October 17, 2007 at 12:47 pm

    here’s an extra credit translation my dad once gave his latin students as a challenge:

    O Sybille, derdego, fortibus es in ero.
    O nobile, demis trux. Vatis indem causen dux.

  31. 31.

    Dreggas

    October 17, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    jcricket Says:

    The pressing question is what to do about the existential threat posed by Sauron and his hordes of orcs. What’s the Republican plan for dealing with that menace?

    Wingnut Answer: Well we could have kicked their ass but the Dhimmicrats got rid of our champion Rick Santorum. Remember he warned us about the orcish hordes!

    ——————————————————–

    Questions to ask a wingnut candidate for president:

    Would you be willing to have your body altered in a manner allowing you to bear children if all the women are eradicated by islamofascists?

    Will your codpiece be bigger than George Bush’s?

    Will your action figure line include a “swimsuit version”?

    Do you now or have you ever tapped your foot while in a public restroom?

    Can you please pronounce the following word: Nuclear?

    Baby Jesus or Preaching Jesus?

  32. 32.

    Punchy

    October 17, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    “What’s young sperm taste like?”

  33. 33.

    Randy Paul

    October 17, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    Why limit to a man? Someone should ask Cheney if he would have sex with OBL to avert a terrorist attack. Better yet, with Cheney catching and OBL receiving.

  34. 34.

    Randy Paul

    October 17, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    make that OBL pitching.

  35. 35.

    Ugh

    October 17, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    Would you sleep with Hillary Clinton if she were the last woman on earth?

  36. 36.

    Tax Analyst

    October 17, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    Would you have sex with a man to stop a terrorist attack?”

    Only if the man was Ann Coulter and only if a de-con shower was near by and he/she was wearing an Osama Bin Laden mask.

  37. 37.

    RSA

    October 17, 2007 at 1:24 pm

    “Would you have sex with a man to stop a terrorist attack?”

    I am sick and tired of people trying to read Larry Craig’s mind.

  38. 38.

    ATS

    October 17, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    If Israel cluster bombed the Vatican Library would you support an emergency allocation to replenish and double the IAF’s stores, or would you merely congratulate them upon their “amazing restraint” in not taking out the Sistine Chapel?

  39. 39.

    Tax Analyst

    October 17, 2007 at 1:40 pm

    “Would you have sex with a man to stop a terrorist attack?”

    Just drop your pants and bend over if the answer is “No”.

  40. 40.

    BARRASSO

    October 17, 2007 at 1:54 pm

    Someone must post this Question at Ten questions this would be great!

  41. 41.

    BARRASSO

    October 17, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    Also someone teach me how to link things properly, and how to bathe and brush my teef.

    http://www.10questions.com/

  42. 42.

    The Doodster

    October 17, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    Hm…. this seems to be an argument between people who can speak Latin and aren’t terrified every moment that somebody may be out to bomb them — and people who played football in high school.

  43. 43.

    crack

    October 17, 2007 at 3:29 pm

    Would you torture then kill Jesus to prevent a terrorist attack?

  44. 44.

    David Hunt

    October 17, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    “Would you torture then kill Jesus to prevent a terrorist attack?”

    Remember to wash your hands afterwards. Good hygene is very important these days, given the state of American Healthcare.

  45. 45.

    Cain

    October 17, 2007 at 7:07 pm

    Everytime I’m in a bad mood, I think I’m going to re-read this thread.

    cain

  46. 46.

    Jon H

    October 17, 2007 at 8:37 pm

    Dude, you’re too late. Why do you think Romney wants to double Gitmo?

  47. 47.

    Dreggas

    October 17, 2007 at 8:37 pm

    crack Says:

    Would you torture then kill Jesus to prevent a terrorist attack?

    If there was a way to convince them that this is why Judas turned him in their heads would explode.

  48. 48.

    Cain

    October 17, 2007 at 9:39 pm

    If there was a way to convince them that this is why Judas turned him in their heads would explode.

    Damn you! You made me spill my drink!

    cain

  49. 49.

    Enlightened Layperson

    October 18, 2007 at 1:04 am

    If you had a time machine, would you travel back in time and abort Bin Laden?

  50. 50.

    Enlightened Layperson

    October 18, 2007 at 1:05 am

    Would you torture and kill Jesus to ensure mankind’s salvation? And how does that work?

  51. 51.

    Beej

    October 18, 2007 at 1:35 am

    How about: Would you have sex with James Dobson on live television to stop a terrorist attack?

  52. 52.

    TenguPhule

    October 18, 2007 at 3:02 am

    “If OBL received absolution and converted to Christ, would you accept that his sins are forgiven under Bible?

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Ask all the GOP candidates! Ask them now! « Later On says:
    October 17, 2007 at 3:54 pm

    […] Posted in Election, GOP at 1:53 pm by LeisureGuy John Cole has a superb idea: And while we are at it, the comments yesterday spawned a question many of us would like asked of all the Jack Bauer wannabees in the GOP field who would literally do ANYTHING to save us from terrorist attack: […]

  2. Gay Orbit » Question for Republican Candidates says:
    October 18, 2007 at 7:19 am

    […] 10/18/2007 Question for Republican CandidatesPosted by: MichaelMost of them already seem to agree that torture is ok if it might prevent a terrorist attack. John Cole has a different question he would like the Republican candidates to answer: […]

  3. Balloon Juice says:
    October 18, 2007 at 8:49 am

    […] Questions We Would Like Asked […]

  4. More good questions for the GOP presidential candidates « Later On says:
    October 18, 2007 at 10:49 am

    […] Posted in Election, GOP at 8:48 am by LeisureGuy Balloon Juice has a few more: From our thread yesterday, a couple more good questions the rabble-rousers here at Balloon Juice would like to see posed to the GOP candidates.: […]

  5. Poll: would you have gay sex if it would stop a terrorist attack? - Political Hotwire says:
    October 28, 2007 at 12:03 am

    […] Re: Poll: would you have gay sex if it would stop a terrorist attack? Credit where credit is due department… Evidently, Sullivan may have picked up the question from this guy’s blog: Balloon Juice Then Sullivan posted it here. The Daily Dish Who knows. But it’s an intriguing question from a CONSERVATIVE pundit. __________________ Ooo…Scary, boys and girls! "Dave seems kind of rad…"

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