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You are here: Home / Jeebus Doesn’t Love Me This Much

Jeebus Doesn’t Love Me This Much

by Tim F|  October 21, 20073:45 pm| 45 Comments

This post is in: Republican Crime Syndicate - aka the Bush Admin.

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First, I’m Jewish, if only in the heritage sense. My (lapsed) Catholic wife keeps track of holidays so that I know when I’m supposed to show up at my folks’ place in a tie. Other than that we both refer to god mostly when one of us stubs a toe in the dark. Therefore if this comes through it won’t be because of any divine favors on my part. Blame it instead on the whole wealth of karma* that Alberto “abu” Gonzales has built up during his tenure as America’s worst Attorney General.

The funny thing is, Gonzales and the president have been joined at the hip since Governor Bush nominated him for the Texas court (bonus heh). Thus a Gonzales trial previews the many fun legal problems facing president pinhead when he no longer has his finger on the red button.

Some would argue that the Bushies have craftily arcane legal strategies to cover their ass when investigators inevitably start looking into their myriad misbehaviors, but that honestly doesn’t seem to be the case. They just do what feels good and figure that things will work themselves out. So much of the Bush catastrophe amounts to the kind of garden-variety mismanagement that routinely gets middle managers fired.

(*) Before this becomes a theology thread, I know that karma only comes due after a given life comes to an end. Call it connotation vs. denotation.

(**) Some days John’s new post category really hits the mark.

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45Comments

  1. 1.

    Peter Johnson

    October 21, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    So if this comes through

    Bush will just pardon him. As he should. Don’t get excited, lefties. No one’s going to jail here. And no one should.

    Amazing you talk so much about this and so little about Sandy Burglar:

    It is hard to imagine how this former National Security Advisor could “inadvertently” take classified documents from the National Archive on several occasions and even harder to fathom how anyone could “inadvertently” stick classified documents down their pants. As Byran York noted in the National Review at the time this story first broke, “Any person who is authorized to remove such documents from a special secure room is required to do so in a locked case that is handcuffed to his or her wrist.” You just don’t forget rules like that.

    Nonetheless, at the time these charges first publicly surfaced, critics railed against the charges as a political smear against Berger. After all, he said he “immediately returned everything” he had “except for a few documents” that he had “apparently discarded.”

    In Berger’s world, “discarding” is evidently synonymous with “shredding.” In pleading guilty to the misdemeanor charges less than a week ago, Berger admitted that he not only took documents from the National Archives intentionally, but actually shredded some of the documents — documents pertaining to the Clinton Administration’s handling of terrorism — with scissors. Nothing inadvertent about that.

    Berger’s penalty was rather light. He was ordered to pay $10,000 and have his National Security clearance revoked for three years. At the very least, it seems like his actions should preclude him from ever regaining his National Security clearance, if not require some jail time. He got a slap on the wrist to say the least.

    With the legal part settled, the biggest questions still remain: Why did Sandy Burglar steal the documents? More importantly, why did he destroy some of them? These are questions no one has been able to answer as of yet. However, it would be hard to believe that the answers to the questions are innocent. So what was Sandy Shredder hiding?

  2. 2.

    Jay C

    October 21, 2007 at 4:02 pm

    Some would argue that the Bushies have craftily arcane legal strategies to cover their ass when investigators inevitably start looking into their blatantly illegal behavior, but that honestly doesn’t seem to be the case.

    Of course not, Tim: WTF is so “crafty” about it? GW Bush, before he leaves office, will issue blanket Presidential pardons by the bushel-basket-load for all and sundry: and then scarper off to Paraguay where he can make big money having ghostwriters hoke up apologetic tomes (with multi-million-dollar advances) lauding Jesus and blaming someone else for his eight years of fuckups. Simple.

    Oh, and Peter Johnson: bascially, the fact that no one mentions Sandy Berger anymore is because his case is old news long past, and no one, besides wingnut blogtrolls trying to deflect things, really gives a good goddamn.

  3. 3.

    jcricket

    October 21, 2007 at 4:26 pm

    Shorter Tim F: Payback’s a bitch or The law of unintended consequences.

    Looks like the policy of torturing everyone we rounded up and sent to Gitmo is also going to come back and bite us in the ass (in the most immediate sense of making it impossible to try anyone we’re holding there).

    Fucking idiots run this country.

  4. 4.

    jcricket

    October 21, 2007 at 4:29 pm

    Some would argue that the Bushies have craftily arcane legal strategies very big, fast shredders…

    Fixed.

    Want to bet that if any or all of those missing emails show up Bush and Rove, etc. are going to be in a world of hurt? In reality-ville, anyway. In Malkintopia there will be some problem with one of the Internet Headers and that will mean the emails are all fake.

  5. 5.

    Dug Jay

    October 21, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    Jay C:

    “…bascially, the fact that no one mentions Sandy Berger anymore is because his case is old news long past, and no one, besides wingnut blogtrolls trying to deflect things, really gives a good goddamn.”

    That’s pretty laughable, given that Hillary just named Burglar as one of her “unpaid foreign affairs” advisors. Clearly the reason you and others on the Left don’t want to discuss the Burglar is because his case is far more damaging than the usual horseshit you can come up with. And by the way, since when does a criminal pleading just slightly over one year ago constitute “old news?” The horrors at “abu” occurred over three years ago and that comes up every time one of you clowns writes anything about Gonzales.

  6. 6.

    chopper

    October 21, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    OMG hitlery is taking free advice from an old friend!!

    you know, Tim, if only you were shomer shabbos we wouldn’t be in this mess right now.

  7. 7.

    Andrew

    October 21, 2007 at 5:06 pm

    The only question in my mind is why Peter Johnson is so hot for what’s stuffed in Sandy Burger’s pants. I’m guessing it’s a Freudian thing about his name.

  8. 8.

    TenguPhule

    October 21, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    Bush will just pardon him. As he should. Don’t get excited, lefties. No one’s going to jail here. And no one should.

    Of course not. CIA Predator Drones carrying AS Missiles are much more convienent. Especially when deployed outside of the USA.

  9. 9.

    Delia

    October 21, 2007 at 5:33 pm

    Ya know, they didn’t get Pinochet until he was old, sick, senile and traveling abroad, so it wasn’t even fun anymore. I expect that’s about all we can hope for this side of the grave with any of the gang we’re stuck with.

  10. 10.

    OniHanzo

    October 21, 2007 at 5:36 pm

    All right… before anyone else gets hurt:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma

    It ain’t just an afterlife thing.

  11. 11.

    Bibblesnæð

    October 21, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    You know, the problem with people like Gonzales is that even if he did get indicted, convicted and sentenced, and then had to serve his sentence–all unlikely, since Bush will doubtless pardon him–he’d never understand what all the fuss was about. He’d go to his grave thinking he was wrongfully persecuted.
    It’s too bad. I’d like to see some of these clowns–hell, even one would be nice–really see the light someday and come to understand what they did and why it was wrong. There’d be some hope of redemption for them, some hope that even this late, they could salvage something of their lives and try to do something worthwhile with the time they have left–in short, that they could learn something form their mistakes and crimes and sins, and come away better people for it. But that will never happen. They’ll all die self-righteous and self-satisfied. I don’t think there’s much that’s more tragic than a wasted life.

  12. 12.

    Jess

    October 21, 2007 at 5:39 pm

    I hate to play along with the sad attempt to deflect attention from the criminal activity of a man whose job it was to uphold the law, but I have to ask…Berger’s behavior hurt who exactly? and had what effect on the governing of our nation? There are all kinds of silly people from all over the political spectrum doing things they shouldn’t do, but there’s a reason why we take some things more seriously than others. Just because some of you don’t get that, don’t think that we’re all as clueless as you are.

  13. 13.

    chopper

    October 21, 2007 at 5:39 pm

    sandy burglar uses wikipedia, you know.

  14. 14.

    Dennis-SGMM

    October 21, 2007 at 5:41 pm

    Alberto “Fredo” Gonzales now has a shot at joining the Republican Pantheon of Heroes alongside John Mitchell. Mitchell was Nixon’s Attorney General and he distinguished his office by being convicted of conspiracy, obstruction of justice, and perjury. He was the first Attorney General of the United States to be convicted and imprisoned.

  15. 15.

    chopper

    October 21, 2007 at 5:46 pm

    Berger’s behavior hurt who exactly?

    he was part of the clinton administration. the fact that the clinton administration even existed tortures the right wing. it’s easily as bad as waterboarding.

  16. 16.

    rachel

    October 21, 2007 at 5:49 pm

    Thus a Gonzales trial previews the many fun legal problems facing president pinhead when he no longer has his finger on the red button.

    President Pinhead -fixed

  17. 17.

    OniHanzo

    October 21, 2007 at 5:50 pm

    Ah the usual “Clinton did it” carnivale.

    Any chance you slack-jawed, traitorous fuckstains on the Right could POSSIBLY pay attention to the administration in power presently and the corruption therein? Or is that much accountability of Republicans too much to ask before you nitwits wheel out a case that was resolved and put to bed by the prosecution an age ago.

    That’s why no one gives it a shit. It’s over. Hug each other if you need to… weep about the travesty of justice where no commutation of sentence existed but it’s done.

    Berger eventually pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of unauthorized removal and retention of classified material on April 1, 2005. Under a plea agreement, U.S. attorneys recommended a fine of $10,000 and a loss of security clearance for three years. However, on September 8, U.S. Magistrate Judge Deborah Robinson increased the fine to $50,000 at Berger’s sentencing. Robinson stated, “The court finds the fine [recommended by government prosecutors] is inadequate because it doesn’t reflect the seriousness of the offense.”[15] Berger was also ordered to serve two years of probation and to perform 100 hours of community service.

    Back to the present, if you please.

  18. 18.

    Dennis-SGMM

    October 21, 2007 at 6:18 pm

    Time out:

    I just want to take moment to thank “Peter Johnson” for his or her modest contribution to turning the word “Republican” into a pejorative.

    The yeoman work of the Peters and the Johnsons of this world should not go unacknowledged. Not only do they heroically support the Worst President Ever, they vote against their own best interests and thereby unselfishly self-select themselves out of the gene pool.

    So here’s to you, Peter bullshit eater. May you always find someone to blame for your shortcomings.

  19. 19.

    TenguPhule

    October 21, 2007 at 6:18 pm

    You know, the problem with people like Gonzales is that even if he did get indicted, convicted and sentenced, and then had to serve his sentence—all unlikely, since Bush will doubtless pardon him—he’d never understand what all the fuss was about.

    2 weeks being waterboarded should fix that, no sweat!

  20. 20.

    Psycheout

    October 21, 2007 at 6:58 pm

    Speaking of Socks….

  21. 21.

    jake

    October 21, 2007 at 7:07 pm

    So much of the Bush catastrophe amounts to the kind of garden-variety mismanagementchief that routinely gets middle managers fired frat boys expelled.

    Fixed.

    For a person to mismanage something, he must first have at least some vague intent to manage. Fucking shit up, handing out wads of cash to your pals and lying like a SOB when caught out is not a management style. I’d call it piracy but that would be an insult to pirates.

  22. 22.

    VidaLoca

    October 21, 2007 at 7:24 pm

    Berger’s behavior hurt who exactly? and had what effect on the governing of our nation?

    Well, the way Peter goes on about Berger you’d think he’d have gotten a blow job or something.

  23. 23.

    demimondian

    October 21, 2007 at 7:39 pm

    Peter says…

    Hey, look! A jackalope!

    Seriously, does everyone know why Scooter was required to pay a fine instead of just getting a straight up pardon? Because then he couldn’t be called in front of the Congress and compelled to testify. As long as any part of his sentence is under appeal, he’s protected by the Constitutional bar to self-incrimination.

    The Bush Crime family — the Constitution isn’t for the Little People.

  24. 24.

    r€nato

    October 21, 2007 at 9:19 pm

    100 years from now, wingnuts will still be screaming, “But… but… what about Clinton?”

    I read at Crooks and Liars the other day that the GOP’s campaign theme for 2008 will be…

    (wait for it)

    “This is the same tax-and-spend Democratic Party that it was in the 1970s!”

    Keep this up, Goopers, and we’ll remind people that yours is the same Teapot Dome party that it was in the 1920s!

    Well, I guess it’s hard to blame the GOP… all they’ve got left are white fundies over 55 years old. Meanwhile, there’s an entire generation plus who weren’t around in the 1970s or weren’t old enough to have a memory of it, but they sure do remember the ridiculous Clinton witch-hunts of the 1990s and now they have the spectacle of 8 years of GOP misrule, corruption and closeted, self-hating queer-bashing under Bush.

    It’s going to be quite entertaining, watching the GOP struggle to disentangle itself from the Christian Taliban base as it realizes that its most vocal constituency is only getting older and older, with no one around to replace it.

  25. 25.

    Ellen

    October 21, 2007 at 9:29 pm

    I hate to say it, but hating these guys has become a full time hobby for me. I wrap myself in it, I breathe it, I make love to it when I go to bed at night.

    But, I would rather love my country than hate GW Bush.

    Sigh.

  26. 26.

    Jay C

    October 21, 2007 at 9:44 pm

    Peter says…

    Hey, look! A jackalope!

    And then Dug Jay chimes in to confirm the sighting and point portentiously to the jackalope tracks across the lawn….

    OK: I guess I have to keep it simple: I opined that the Sandy Berger case is “old news” because it’s done. Over. Closed. Berger was caught nicking those copy documents: he was indicted, pled guilty, and was fined. And the heinous “damage” done -which agitates the trolls so – seems to existly mainly in the imaginations of the Wall Street Journal editors and assorted wingnut bloggers. What do you want? Berger to be shot by a firing squad in front of the National Archives, and his body hung from a lampost on The Mall? (Actually Peter was right about this!)
    At least justice was done in the Berger case: more than can be said for most of the criminality this dipwad Administration has gotten away with.

  27. 27.

    jake

    October 21, 2007 at 9:50 pm

    Meanwhile, there’s an entire generation plus who weren’t around in the 1970s or weren’t old enough to have a memory of it…

    Or too old to have any memory left. The people who will remember are the Boomers. Does the GOP really want to remind them of the magical time when they didn’t have to worry about their prostates and cholesterol levels?

    “It’s the same Democratic party that was in charge when you were young and had all of your hair and didn’t have to wear god-damned trifocals and all of your aches and pains could be traced to activities like marathon sex!”

    Yeah. People will kill themselves running away from that nightmare.

    I hope the next president at least sends these jackasses a Thank You note.

  28. 28.

    RSA

    October 21, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    Bush will just pardon him. As he should. Don’t get excited, lefties. No one’s going to jail here. And no one should.

    I know I’ve quoted Lewis Carroll on this blog before, but it’s just so appropriate when Republicans talk:

    ‘No, no!’ said the Queen. ‘Sentence first – verdict afterwards.’

    There’s been no trial, and the investigation isn’t even complete. That’s okay, Bush should pardon him for whatever he’s done. (I’ll note that this is slightly different from the Democratic view: We think he should be tried and convicted for stuff we know he’s done; his supporters think he should be pardoned for those things as well as anything else we don’t know about already.)

  29. 29.

    mrmobi

    October 21, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    …Any chance you slack-jawed, traitorous fuckstains on the Right could POSSIBLY pay attention to the administration in power presently and the corruption therein?

    Corruption? What corruption? You lying defeatocrats just want to deny the inevitable VICTORY in Iraq. Why do you hate Amerika?

  30. 30.

    Jay C

    October 21, 2007 at 10:33 pm

    Oh, and speaking of Sandy Berger: this link from Ezra Klein is interesting. As Ezra points out: it is damned shame that Berger besmirched his own reputation with his idiotic document-since what he says about Iraq is right on the money.

  31. 31.

    Jay C

    October 21, 2007 at 11:04 pm

    Sorry, in comment above there’s a “snatch” missing

    You can figure out where it goes…..

  32. 32.

    The Other Steve

    October 21, 2007 at 11:05 pm

    Bush will just pardon him. As he should. Don’t get excited, lefties. No one’s going to jail here. And no one should.

    Amazing you talk so much about this and so little about Sandy Burglar:

    Wait. No Republicans should go to jail. But Sandy Berger should?

    IOKIYAR

  33. 33.

    The Other Steve

    October 21, 2007 at 11:06 pm

    BTW, any court case against Alberto Gonzales isn’t going to see the light of day until 2009 at the earliest. Look how long Scooter Libby took.

    Bush would have to admit guilt to pardon someone who hasn’t been tried yet. Hows that going to look in the legacy books?

  34. 34.

    Peter Johnson

    October 22, 2007 at 12:00 am

    Well, the way Peter goes on about Berger you’d think he’d have gotten a blow job or something.

    Believe me, I’ve gotten one.

  35. 35.

    The Other Andrew

    October 22, 2007 at 12:08 am

    If no-one is going to tax and spend, how are we going to pay for the war? Are we pinning our hopes on a herd of golden ponies?

  36. 36.

    Johnny Pez

    October 22, 2007 at 12:32 am

    Well, the way Peter goes on about Berger you’d think he’d have gotten a blow job or something.

    Believe me, I’ve gotten one.

    The stupid, it burns.

  37. 37.

    TenguPhule

    October 22, 2007 at 4:31 am

    Peter Johnson says: Believe me, I’ve *given* one.

    Corrected.

    Let’s see, so far the Bush administration has: outed a covert Agent, exposed a covert tap on Al Queda’s communications, Dumped documents on how to build a nuke in Arabic onto the Internet, Started illegal spying on Americans at least 6 months *BEFORE* 9/11, labeled a foreign military as ‘terrorists’ while insisting mercenary death squads are legitimate forces….

    Funny, under the Bush Doctrine we’d be a prime candidate for Regime Change.

  38. 38.

    Zifnab

    October 22, 2007 at 8:40 am

    Peter Johnson Says:

    Well, the way Peter goes on about Berger you’d think he’d have gotten a blow job or something.

    Believe me, I’ve gotten one. tap tap tap. tap tap. tappity-tap.

    *Slaps Johnson’s hand from under the stale.*

    Dude. You’re in the wrong type of forum.

  39. 39.

    Barry

    October 22, 2007 at 8:54 am

    The Other Steve Says:

    “BTW, any court case against Alberto Gonzales isn’t going to see the light of day until 2009 at the earliest. Look how long Scooter Libby took.

    Bush would have to admit guilt to pardon someone who hasn’t been tried yet. Hows that going to look in the legacy books?”

    See Bush I, and the Christmas Pardons.

  40. 40.

    Zifnab

    October 22, 2007 at 9:46 am

    See Bush I, and the Christmas Pardons.

    And, of course, don’t forget all the Clinton Pardons.

    Perhaps the first agenda for the 111th Congress can be an Amendment to the constitution that gets rid of pardons – both Presidential and Governatorial. I’m getting really tired of this end-of-term bullshit, on both the Democrat and Republican sides. No more “Get out of jail free” cards, thank you.

    I’m getting really tired of the pardon being used as a political fund-raising tool and intra-party escape clause. Somehow, I don’t think this is how the Founding Fathers intended for the power to be used.

  41. 41.

    MNPundit

    October 22, 2007 at 10:58 am

    Oh c’mon. Once they give retroactive immunity to telecoms the Congress will bend over and say “Yes sir, fuck me plz!” when Bush comes to them and asks for personal immunity for himself and Cheney for all time…

    …alternately he just won’t leave office and we’ll have another civil war.

  42. 42.

    Zifnab

    October 22, 2007 at 11:22 am

    …alternately he just won’t leave office and we’ll have another civil war.

    I doubt it. Bush has had his fun. By 1/09/08, he will be out of office at least. Who’s going to keep him in power? The Congress that hates him? The military that is disgusted with him? The SCOTUS that is still one wingnut shy of wingnut hegemony?

    The real question is what election-time shinanigans will take place between now and election day. Will a few million people magically drop off the voter rolls in states like Florida and Ohio? Will electoral college delegates in purple states suddenly find themselves under extreme duress not to vote for the popular candidate? Will Diebold voting machines and “voter fraud” cases somehow manage to tip every election?

    But, again, even voter shinanigans require a certain degree of popular approval. You’ve got to have support all the way down to the little old ladies behind the desks in every small town in America before you can really rig the votes. So, does Rove have the percentages necessary to get just the right number of people to break the law again and commit another year of electoral travesty? If the ’06 elections are any indication… no.

  43. 43.

    Tax Analyst

    October 22, 2007 at 12:53 pm

    Zifnab Says:

    …alternately he just won’t leave office and we’ll have another civil war.

    I doubt it. Bush has had his fun. By 1/09/08, he will be out of office at least. Who’s going to keep him in power? The Congress that hates him? The military that is disgusted with him? The SCOTUS that is still one wingnut shy of wingnut hegemony?

    The real question is what election-time shinanigans will take place between now and election day. Will a few million people magically drop off the voter rolls in states like Florida and Ohio? Will electoral college delegates in purple states suddenly find themselves under extreme duress not to vote for the popular candidate? Will Diebold voting machines and “voter fraud” cases somehow manage to tip every election?

    But, again, even voter shinanigans require a certain degree of popular approval. You’ve got to have support all the way down to the little old ladies behind the desks in every small town in America before you can really rig the votes. So, does Rove have the percentages necessary to get just the right number of people to break the law again and commit another year of electoral travesty? If the ‘06 elections are any indication… no.

    Here’s hoping that “Trifecta” does not come to pass. Odds SEEM against it, but…

  44. 44.

    Johnny Pez

    October 23, 2007 at 12:03 am

    Who’s going to keep him in power?

    This is the wrong question. The right question is, “Who’s going to stop him?”

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