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You are here: Home / Politics / And Now We Defend Cheney

And Now We Defend Cheney

by John Cole|  October 25, 20076:00 pm| 55 Comments

This post is in: Politics

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As someone who has resorted to stabbing myself quietly in the thigh with my keys under the table just to stay awake during a meeting (alternate strategies- dig my nails into my palm to the point I almost draw blood, bite the inside of my cheek, etc.), I am willing to cut Cheney some slack for this. And yes, I understand he is the Vice-President and this is a crisis.

Sometimes, you just can’t stay awake. And I am not closing in on 70 with a bum heart.

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55Comments

  1. 1.

    Sirkowski

    October 25, 2007 at 6:03 pm

    It’s just his heart going on stand-by mode.

  2. 2.

    Tom Hilton

    October 25, 2007 at 6:04 pm

    At my previous job I worked for a partner who a) loved to have meetings, b) loved to have them in the mid-afternoon (my low point in any given day), and c) really, really loved to hear himself talk. These things would go on for two hours or more. And right at the point when I was about to nod off, he would suddenly turn to me and ask me about something. It was maddening.

    So, yeah, sympathy for the generalized plight in which Cheney found himself. Sympathy for Cheney himself, though–no fucking way.

  3. 3.

    Toolshed

    October 25, 2007 at 6:06 pm

    I relate to falling asleep in meetings although I really doubt the guy gives a shit what anyone else has to say anyway.

  4. 4.

    The Populist

    October 25, 2007 at 6:09 pm

    John,

    If he’s 70 with a bum heart it’s still no excuse for falling asleep at important meetings. He’s done this before.

    If he wants to sleep and his age is preventing him from doing his job, he needs to retire.

    I am not bagging on him for falling asleep. I just find it reprehensible as he is in a position of prominence.

  5. 5.

    The Populist

    October 25, 2007 at 6:10 pm

    Oh and btw, I’ve dozed off at meetings too, but if it was important i made sure to bring an energy drink or dig nails into my hand. I even will sit on my keys.

  6. 6.

    jc

    October 25, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    John,

    Agree with you – people fall asleep in meetings. Stuff happens. Cheney is evil incarnate, and needs to be put in a room somewhere where he can’t foment a war with Iran, but even the devil needs to get some sleep sometimes. A faux issue.

  7. 7.

    Jim

    October 25, 2007 at 6:26 pm

    Then again, it is telling that he fell asleep during a discussion about a natural disaster in California, something he probably could not care less about. I’m quite sure he never dozed during briefings about Curveball’s latest disclosures.

  8. 8.

    capelza

    October 25, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    Too bad he didn’t sleep through the last 6 plus years…

  9. 9.

    whippoorwill

    October 25, 2007 at 6:37 pm

    Wonder if he’s dreaming of Sugar Plums and Fairies.

  10. 10.

    Zifnab

    October 25, 2007 at 6:50 pm

    Listen, when you’re up till six in the morning playing Counter Strike and doodling new euphemisms for invading Iran in your Vice Presidential sketch book, you can’t be expected to bring your A game to every meeting.

    Besides, wasn’t this meeting right after Condi Rice announced slapped sanctions on the Iranian military and banking institutions? I know I always get really sleepy after I’m done beating off, so cut the old man some slack.

  11. 11.

    D-Chance.

    October 25, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    Interesting link to TP, especially the comments section. First three:

    1) anyway we can keep him in that state?
    2) It’s a shame he didn’t fall ‘asleep’ for ever.
    3) quick! shoot him in the face.

    Stay classy, boys, stay classy…

  12. 12.

    tBone

    October 25, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    dig my nails into my palm to the point I almost draw blood, bite the inside of my cheek

    That’s the reaction I have when I wake up from a refreshing mid-afternoon-meeting nap and realize Cheney is still our Vice President.

  13. 13.

    S.W. Anderson

    October 25, 2007 at 7:10 pm

    I wish Cheney would hibernate for the next 15 months.

    What I find interesting is that CNN, as usual, dutifully regurgitated just what the Bush administration told it to say. I suppose Cheney could croak and start decomposing, and if an administration spokesperson said to say he was just meditating, or napping, that’s what CNN would say.

  14. 14.

    jake

    October 25, 2007 at 7:23 pm

    Wonder if he’s dreaming of Sugar Plums and Fairies.

    Flowers n’ Candies. Duh.

    You know what? I don’t give a fuck and neither does he. Old? Bad heart? Ho-hum and boo hoo. I heard similar justifications when he attended a Holocaust memorial dressed like he was going hunting.

    You tend to doze off during meetings? Uh yeah, is your job any where near as important as his? Please.

  15. 15.

    Jody

    October 25, 2007 at 7:30 pm

    You know what?

    If I was vice president, and I was at a meeting about one of my STATES BEING ON FIRE, I’m pretty sure I could stay awake.

    I’m with The Populist. If Cheney can’t stay awake at a meeting that’s pretty much literally about Rome burning, then he should step down. He’s not fit for the job, physically or mentally.

  16. 16.

    PeterJ

    October 25, 2007 at 7:32 pm

    And I am not closing in on 70 with a bum heart.

    Cheney has the heart of a 19 year old.

    In a jar on his desk.

  17. 17.

    Paul L.

    October 25, 2007 at 7:38 pm

    “Remember when sleeping with the President used to mean that you attended a Reagan cabinet meeting.”

    Cheney has the heart of a 19 year old.
    In a jar on his desk.

    He also got a empty jar next to it labeled “Joe Wilson”.

  18. 18.

    Jill

    October 25, 2007 at 7:54 pm

    Did anyone try to wake him? Or, are they too afraid to do that too? I guess if you can’t speak truth to power you can’t tell them they are sleeping through a meeting about a subject that affects 1,000,000 + people.

  19. 19.

    Jill

    October 25, 2007 at 7:54 pm

    Let sleeping dogs lie…or in this case let lying dogs sleep.

  20. 20.

    whippoorwill

    October 25, 2007 at 7:55 pm

    Are you asking me these questions jake or are you just spoofing?

  21. 21.

    BARRASSO

    October 25, 2007 at 7:57 pm

    I for one find his sleeping during a meeting very bad form he should be using that time fantasizing about eatng the children of people too stupid to be able to aford medical insurance. Or he could be doodling which is how I spend all meetings.

  22. 22.

    tBone

    October 25, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    I heard similar justifications when he attended a Holocaust memorial dressed like he was going hunting.

    Hey, be grateful for small favors – at least he didn’t shoot a foreign dignitary in the face.

    That we know of.

  23. 23.

    sglover

    October 25, 2007 at 8:26 pm

    I wholeheartedly encourage Cheney to take the longest sleep. I will be absolutely delighted when he nods off for that last snooze.

  24. 24.

    norbizness

    October 25, 2007 at 8:26 pm

    Cheney: Is this meeting about bombing Iranian into radioactive dust?

    Aide: Well, no sir, it’s…

    Cheney: Zzzzzzzzzzzz

    Aide: Mr. Vice President?

    Cheney (adjusting volume control knob): ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

  25. 25.

    Jess

    October 25, 2007 at 8:42 pm

    He also got a empty jar next to it labeled “Joe Wilson”.

    Okay, that was funny. I’ll give you your due even though you’re wrong about everything.

    And in this moment of generous impulses, I’ll admit that I’m getting pretty disgusted with the comment sections of a lot of lefty sites. Reminds me of why I’m a moderate.

  26. 26.

    Bubblegum Tate

    October 25, 2007 at 10:16 pm

    He also got a empty jar next to it labeled “Joe Wilson”.

    It wasn’t always empty, though. It’s just that Cheney got hungry one day and there weren’t any puppies around.

  27. 27.

    tmv

    October 25, 2007 at 10:31 pm

    If you can’t stay awake during a meeting to discuss how one of the states you’re supposedly responsible for is burning down, resign.

    And I say this as someone who was told recently by the boss to stop falling asleep in meetings, period.

    If someone’s home, livelihood or life depended on my job, I would be conscious. Though maybe after you’ve personally caused so many disasters, they start getting a bit dull.

  28. 28.

    slightly_peeved

    October 25, 2007 at 11:09 pm

    I suppose Cheney could croak and start decomposing, and if an administration spokesperson said to say he was just meditating, or napping, that’s what CNN would say

    They’d probably say he was pining for the fjords.

  29. 29.

    Soliton

    October 25, 2007 at 11:17 pm

    Ctheney doesn’t have a heart, he has a liquid helium pump.

  30. 30.

    MobiusKlein

    October 26, 2007 at 12:10 am

    Cmon, give Deadeye Dick a break – he’s channeling St. Ronnie.

  31. 31.

    Pb

    October 26, 2007 at 12:29 am

    I am willing to cut Cheney some slack for this.

    I will too, right after he resigns.

    And yes, I understand he is the Vice-President and this is a crisis.

    So, let’s start counting… that can be reason #1 for him to resign…

    And I am not closing in on 70 with a bum heart.

    Oh look, it’s reasons #2 and #3 for why he shouldn’t be the freaking Vice President of the United States!

    If I was vice president, and I was at a meeting about one of my STATES BEING ON FIRE

    California is one of those “blue” states–he may not count it as one of his. (Reason #4…)

  32. 32.

    craigie

    October 26, 2007 at 12:56 am

    Well, he’s probably killing fewer people when he’s asleep, so I’m all for it.

  33. 33.

    scarshapedstar

    October 26, 2007 at 1:13 am

    Napgate, Day 2: WDTVPKAWDHKI?

  34. 34.

    Ellison, Ellensburg, Ellers, and Lambchop

    October 26, 2007 at 1:20 am

    Cheney is evil incarnate, and needs to be put in a room somewhere where he can’t foment a war with Iran, but even the devil needs to get some sleep sometimes.

    Remember in the ’90s when, at the slightest rebuke, the Democrats would whine about how this Republican or that one was “demonizing” them?

    Now, Cheney is literally referred to as Evil Incarnate and portrayed as Satan on television.

    That kind of blatant hypocrisy is Reason #16,836 why I don’t pay attention to a thing the Donks say…

  35. 35.

    JC

    October 26, 2007 at 3:07 am

    E.E.E.L.,

    Ya got me, fair and square. I just don’t think I should worry about [Cheney being the devil]. It’s kind of one of those exaggerations…

  36. 36.

    jake

    October 26, 2007 at 5:42 am

    Are you asking me these questions jake or are you just spoofing?

    Neither. Imagine my post in reverse order. Rant first, your quote and lastly my snark.

    And may I say I’m feeling particularly unsympathetic to Dick “Thunder Stick” Cheney because I have to sit in meetings all day today?

  37. 37.

    whippoorwill

    October 26, 2007 at 7:09 am

    jake

    I think we’re all feeling unsympathetic toward Cheney and the Bushies in general. Just to be clear, my post was meant as a fill in the blank snark of sorts. Such as, if not sugar plums and fairies, then may the Apocalypse or something. Not as going easy on Dick.

  38. 38.

    Abe Froman

    October 26, 2007 at 7:21 am

    Maybe he was just spacing out?

    “Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door – that way Lumbergh can’t see me, heh heh – and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour. ”

    “Da-uh? Space out?”

    “Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I’m working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I’d say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.”

  39. 39.

    Soliton

    October 26, 2007 at 7:36 am

    EEEL,

    Now, Cheney is literally referred to as Evil Incarnate and portrayed as Satan on television.

    Literally everyone is a hypocrite, hypocrisy is not a binary condition, it has gradations.

    Here is an interesting video:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BEsZMvrq-I

    In Ctheney’s own words, occupying Iraq would be “a quagmire”.

    Why do you suppose Ctheney had the US jump into his self described quagmire?

    I predict that you will not answer this question.

  40. 40.

    Punchy

    October 26, 2007 at 8:16 am

    They had to shut the fucker off before they could change its oil. What you can’t see in that video is the guy on the right with the 3 cans of Valvoline and a quart of STP.

  41. 41.

    chopper

    October 26, 2007 at 8:24 am

    Hey, be grateful for small favors – at least he didn’t shoot a foreign dignitary in the face.

    That we know of.

    only in his dreams.

    “oh, boy, sleep! that’s where i’m a viking!”

  42. 42.

    laneman

    October 26, 2007 at 8:39 am

    Wonder if he’s dreaming of Sugar Plums and Fairies.

    ponies and flowers – get it right.

  43. 43.

    laneman

    October 26, 2007 at 8:52 am

    acting on the ‘pleex don’t bun moi’ dual post mode

    In Ctheney’s own words, occupying Iraq would be “a quagmire”.

    I knew then man was a disingenuous ass, but that vid was scarier.

  44. 44.

    Soliton

    October 26, 2007 at 9:11 am

    I knew then man was a disingenuous ass, but that vid was scarier.

    If you liked that one then take a gander at this one..

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=SJuMX1GzD6I

    “Dinosaur in a tar pit”.

    A rather evocative image, no?

  45. 45.

    laneman

    October 26, 2007 at 9:21 am

    this is why I have to read this stuff on the sly – my wife beats me when she sees me reading this because of the post-reading ranting that I do.

  46. 46.

    Jon H

    October 26, 2007 at 10:00 am

    Cheney was up all night the night before, crushing the testicles of the children of people whose names, if you squint, look like the names of people who might be terrorists, peace activists, environmentalists, or Quakers.

  47. 47.

    lysias

    October 26, 2007 at 10:09 am

    Why did they allow this picture to be taken before first nudging Cheney awake?

    Could this be a sign that somebody in the White House is sandbagging Cheney?

  48. 48.

    Librarian

    October 26, 2007 at 10:15 am

    It’s just the pure symbolism of him falling asleep during a meeting about the California wildfires. It just confirms the suspicion that he doesn’t give a shit about any issue that doesn’t involve killing and bombing people and countries, making his rich corporate friends richer, or destroying the constitution and making this country into a one-party state.

  49. 49.

    Tom Hilton

    October 26, 2007 at 10:39 am

    If I was vice president, and I was at a meeting about one of my STATES BEING ON FIRE, I’m pretty sure I could stay awake.

    But it wasn’t one of his states. It was California.

  50. 50.

    Jimmmmm

    October 26, 2007 at 10:49 am

    Not healthy enough to carry out the duties of the position? GET THE FUCK OUT.

    End of message.

  51. 51.

    Ellison, Ellensburg, Ellers, and Lambchop

    October 26, 2007 at 11:09 am

    In Ctheney’s own words, occupying Iraq would be “a quagmire”. Why do you suppose Ctheney had the US jump into his self described quagmire?
    I predict that you will not answer this question.

    So now you see how predictions can be dead wrong. Use this lesson, my son.

    First, Cheney didn’t have the US jump into anything — it was never his call. It was the President’s, with Congressional authorization. (now you may run with your “Puppetmaster Cheney” meme, but when you do, please answer a question for me: Why do the left try to portray Cheney as the Evil Lord With No Soul in the first place? What was the Satanic act he performed? How does it portraying him like this serve any purpose? Really, I’m curious as to how this whole demonization thing started.)

    The situation with Saddam was deemed to be worse in 2002 than it was in 1991, of course. There were a string of broken UN Resolutions and a continuing thumbing of the nose with regard to WMD disarmament. There was Saddam’s sponsorship of Islamic terrorism — which was kind of a bigger deal in 2002 than in 1991, right? The increased perception of threat from Iraq naturally warranted the taking on of increased risk in Iraq.

    Happily, Cheney appears to have been too pessimistic in his predictions of longterm inviability of a Saddam-less Iraq. The Iraqis got a new government in place far quicker than Cheney thought we could. Thusfar, there’s been no breakup of Iraq post-Saddam. Polls in Iraq have shown that Iraqis want to stay as one country.

  52. 52.

    tBone

    October 26, 2007 at 11:20 am

    The situation with Saddam was deemed to be worse in 2002 than it was in 1991, of course. There were a string of broken UN Resolutions and a continuing thumbing of the nose with regard to WMD disarmament. There was Saddam’s sponsorship of Islamic terrorism—which was kind of a bigger deal in 2002 than in 1991, right? The increased perception of threat from Iraq naturally warranted the taking on of increased risk in Iraq.

    Happily, Cheney appears to have been too pessimistic in his predictions of longterm inviability of a Saddam-less Iraq. The Iraqis got a new government in place far quicker than Cheney thought we could. Thusfar, there’s been no breakup of Iraq post-Saddam. Polls in Iraq have shown that Iraqis want to stay as one country.

    And all of the ponies frolicking in the Iraqi countryside have allowed Iraq to become a net exporter of concentrated, high-grade horseshit – the perfect raw building material for EEEL posts like the one above.

  53. 53.

    whippoorwill

    October 26, 2007 at 11:55 am

    ponies and flowers – get it right.

    It is right and continues to be right. It’s just that some are to thick to get it.

  54. 54.

    Thepanzer

    October 26, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    Cheney: “Mutter. What’s all this now? Fires in California? Eh, whatever. I wish I had my scotch, maybe I should make that rat faced aide go get me some. Heh. Fires in california…wonder if I could tie that to Al Quaeda or Iran. Hell Al Quaeda and Iran, that’s the ticket! Where’s my damn scotch anyway. I’ve gotta fire that rat faced aide for not remembering to bring me some. Condi. Heh. Took you out at the knees again, no diplomacy for you Ms. State Department. Iran…you’ve got no idea the world of hurt we’re bringing to you. They still blabbing about this damn fire? Where? California? Wonnder if it’s one of “our” distrcits. Meh, who cares I’m outa here in a year anyway and Jr. can take the rap for it. Only thing he’s good for anyway. Where’s my scotch… zzzzzzzz.”

  55. 55.

    jake

    October 26, 2007 at 5:17 pm

    terrorists, peace activists, environmentalists, or Quakers.

    This statement is rather redundant, don’tyathink?

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