Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

People are weird.

Giving in to doom is how we fail to fight for ourselves & one another.

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Trumpflation is an intolerable hardship for every American, and it’s Trump’s fault.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you don’t.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Books are my comfort food!

Disagreements are healthy; personal attacks are not.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

A norm that restrains only one side really is not a norm – it’s a trap.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Come on, man.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

This chaos was totally avoidable.

Second rate reporter says what?

You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Previous Site Maintenance / Sitting in the Airport

Sitting in the Airport

by | 46 Comments

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And listening to Zappa while waiting for a flight and looking at all the people and writing about it is interesting.

Consider this another open thread.

*** Update ***

I made it to Orlando with no problems. It turns out my traveling mate is on a watch list, so that slowed us down a bit (the TSA agent told us that he should register for future flights using his middle name in the future to avoid such inconveniences. Take that, Osama!). I am also proud to report that with a wireless internet connection, a cell phone, and an Ipod, all modern conveniences designed to help us keep in touch with people, I managed to ignore everyone around me for the bulk of the trip. I call that a win.

Things did get sketchy on the flight, though, when a lack of sleep, a fresh cup of black death coffee, and an unfortunate Ipod shuffle (Talking Heads- Swamp into Les Claypool into Rage Against The Machine) made me feel all Patrick Bateman for a minute or two, but other than that, everything was uneventful.

Reader Interactions

46Comments

  5. 5.

    *

    I, for one, recommend Watermellon on Easter Hay when you want your stranger-watching to evoke a more sentimental voyeurist aesthetic. In a pinch, Black Napkins works to a slightly less melancholic affect.

    For both, bourbon infused ice-cream works wonderfully.

  7. 7.

    tim serbo

    hi, John. i’ve been lurking on your site for a while and wanted to pop up and welcome you to the democratic party (i nearly said “organization,” but that would be horribly inaccurate). you’re in for more exasperation than one curmudgeon should be forced to express, but you’ll sleep better. and as a patriots fan, i get a kick out of your thing for steely mcbeam.

    zappa, though? i always found him a lot more pleasurable in theory than in practice (except for live at the fillmore, maybe).

  11. 11.

    capelza

    Ha..I got to see frank Zappa play, when I was in Jr. High in Eureka, Ca.

    The local municipal auditorium cum skating rink cum concert hall.

    I have to confess that all I remember is that Frank Zappa wore striped pants. This was 1969 or 1970…I think Elvin Bishop played the same concert..but then I saw him many times.

    Have a good trip John.

  12. 12.

    Punchy

    Clandestine Cole–do yer best to get bumped, if it aint gunna affect yer transpo at your arrival locale. Airlines are paying mucho ducats for voluntary bumpers. Had my $400 glide to Sin City wiped clean by simply taking a flight 90 minz later. That’s like making $266+ an hour.

    By the way, are you gunna play the Tim Game and take pics of your hotel and make us guess that you’re in Walla Walla by the color of one brick on the NW corner of the Holiday Inn and the flora and fauna that’s being gardened?

  13. 13.

    Face

    The local municipal auditorium cum skating rink cum concert hall.

    That’s a lot of cu….nevermind.

  14. 14.

    Tim F.

    By the way, are you gunna play the Tim Game and take pics of your hotel and make us guess that you’re in Walla Walla by the color of one brick on the NW corner of the Holiday Inn and the flora and fauna that’s being gardened?

    You think you’re being funny, but two guys got the region right and one of them would have winged me with an atom bomb.

  17. 17.

    Tsulagi

    Support our troops, but don’t let them look at boobies!

    Oh, well now that would go over well. I’m kinda hoping they’ll hand out flyers at base gates: “Vote Republican! Make the guy next to you turn in his Penthouse for a pictoral from the Creation Museum!” Guaranteed to be a winner.

  18. 18.

    Punchy

    You think you’re being funny, but two guys got the region right and one of them would have winged me with an atom bomb.

    I am funny, and I can’t help it that too many of these fellow posters stay up till 3am every night memorizing the reddish hues on the Small-Tipped Fresco Bodied Shim Sham Butterfly and the succulent Big Bad Green-Ass Lavender Deciduous Plantfernmoss that it feeds on….

  19. 19.

    Dennis-SGMM

    Support our troops, but don’t let them look at boobies!

    At first I thought that you’d written “…but don’t let them look at boobs.”

    Now that one would have been tough on the president.

  20. 20.

    Zifnab

    I can’t help it that too many of these fellow posters stay up till 3am every night memorizing the reddish hues on the Small-Tipped Fresco Bodied Shim Sham Butterfly and the succulent Big Bad Green-Ass Lavender Deciduous Plantfernmoss that it feeds on….

    You discover a lot of time on your hands when you’re not getting laid.

  21. 21.

    Jake

    I can’t help it that too many of these fellow posters stay up till 3am every night memorizing the reddish hues on the Small-Tipped Fresco Bodied Shim Sham Butterfly and the succulent Big Bad Green-Ass Lavender Deciduous Plantfernmoss that it feeds on….

    Bwahahaha!

    It’s the Small-winged Fresco Bodied Shim Sham Butterfly ya noob!

  24. 24.

    A Different Matt

    Zifnab Says:

    The Cake Is A Lie!

    Alright Zifnab, what the hell does that mean? I saw it over at John Rodgers, yet there’s no forthcoming clues. I demand you reveal your insider joke thingy. Does it have anything to do with “Then let them eat cake!” ?

  26. 26.

    Zifnab

    Also, from Big Orange Satan:

    Meanwhile, Bush reached an unwelcome record. By 64%-31%, Americans disapprove of the job he is doing. For the first time in the history of the Gallup Poll, 50% say they “strongly disapprove” of the president. Richard Nixon had reached the previous high, 48%, just before an impeachment inquiry was launched in 1974.

    Congratulations kids! Bush has done it! Worse than Nixon! Ok, somebody release the balloons and break out the cake. I think this is a sign that American public opinion is finally moving back over to “sane”.

  27. 27.

    Vlad

    Which Zappa are you listening to, John?

    Right now I’ve got Captain Beefheart on at work, myself. On headphones, because I’m polite like that.

  28. 28.

    Shabbazz

    Is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho? Don’t you know, you could make more money as a butcher!

  29. 29.

    ImJohnGalt

    You’ll need to get an XBox 360, the Orange Box, and about 4 hours of free time to truly appreciate the answer.

    You can play Portal most excellently on a PC, as well.

  30. 30.

    The Other Steve

    Congratulations kids! Bush has done it! Worse than Nixon! Ok, somebody release the balloons and break out the cake. I think this is a sign that American public opinion is finally moving back over to “sane”.

    Do not worry. Bush will go down in history as greater than Abe Lincoln!

  31. 31.

    billygoat

    I would recommend The Black Page Part II or The Ocean is the Ultimate Solution, both are good for people watching.

  32. 32.

    Punchy

    Is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho? Don’t you know, you could make more money as a butcher!

    Uh….hmmmm…../scratches chin….

  35. 35.

    Mr Furious

    the TSA agent told us that he should register for future flights using his middle name in the future to avoid such inconveniences.

    Oh, shit! Now all the terrorists know how to defeat the system!

  36. 36.

    Mr Furious

    Punchy, they’re Zappa lyrics…reprised on a different album, as well…

    “is that a real poncho…i mean
    Is that a mexican poncho
    Or is that a sears poncho?
    Hmmm…no foolin …”

  38. 38.

    Punchy

    It’s been scientifically proven that one cannot resist the urge to groove out–air bass, knee-slapping, etc.–when Les gets on the iPod. I’ve made a fool of myself standing in line at Quizno’s, not realizing I was actually dancing to Les’s bass line while waiting for my sandwich.

    “Traveling companion”…to the near-tropics, eh? Uh huh.

  40. 40.

    Tax Analyst

    Hey, don’t forgot the Genuine Zircon-encrusted tweezers…nor the electric-cooled pony harness with fuel injection, fuel injection, fuel injection…

  41. 41.

    Davebo

    (the TSA agent told us that he should register for future flights using his middle name in the future to avoid such inconveniences. Take that, Osama!)

    Sadly, it doesn’t help on international flights.

    Perhaps every country on the planet could set up their customs clearance with 1 line for locals returning, 1 line for foreigners coming in, and 5 lines for Americans who happen to be on a no fly list which contains 60% of Americans somehow.

    Thankfully with the tanking of the dollar I won’t be bothering this year. Any good deals on really sweet RV parks, or just spaces without utilities on the eastern seaboard this year or next? The wife (yes, a Texan) hasn’t seen a “real” mountain yet.

  42. 42.

    r€nato

    I managed to ignore everyone around me for the bulk of the trip. I call that a win.

    a-men bro. I am a travel curmudgeon as well. When I’ve passed security and am killing time at the gate, and particularly when I’m on the plane, I don’t want to talk to my neighbors unless absolutely necessary or for compelling reasons (e.g.,hot chick, business contact).

  43. 43.

    HyperIon

    Orlando, ugh.
    You have my condolences.
    If this is your final destination, I guess you’re close to the convention center in the midst of American shopping BS that is International Drive. But at least the weather is pretty nice now.

  44. 44.

    jake

    made it to Orlando with no problems. It turns out my traveling mate is on a watch list, so that slowed us down a bit

    Why is John at Dizney Whirled with Bill Clinton?

  45. 45.

    jake

    Never mind. I think I know the who, what, where and why. Now to check the kitchen counters to verify my guess…

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