Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

“Alexa, change the president.”

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

Republicans in disarray!

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Weird. Rome has an American Pope and America has a Russian President.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

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43Comments

  3. 3.

    Dreggas

    Zifnab Says:

    That would be Greek Food, I think.

    it’s transcontinental. I know a persian place that has awesome stuffed grape leaves and I believe that is the type John is referring to.

  4. 4.

    Krista

    Mmm….Middle Eastern food. There’s this Lebanese guy in Halifax who makes the most amazing falafel. I think I’ll have to partake when I head down there this weekend.

  5. 5.

    Mary

    I thought there were a hell of a lot of Lebanese guys in Halifax who made the most amazing falafel. Really, the Lebanese community in Nova Scotia rocks.

    Now, when someone actually makes a donair pizza that doesn’t make me cringe in fear*, then that will be news. :-)

    * The donair sauce is made from condensed (sweetened) milk, vinegar and garlic powder. Somewhere, Anthony Bourdain chooses to eat another seal eyeball instead.

  6. 6.

    jenniebee

    If a newspaper other than the Onion reported that the FBI had attempted to construct a database of everyone who ordered the insidious French Slam instead of the patriotic All-American Slam at Dennys, who here would really be shocked anymore? Can I see a show of hands?

  9. 9.

    KCinDC

    Sorry, should have summarized. Hapless English-lacking tourist is hassled by self-important conductor and ultimately removed from train by jackbooted thugs for taking photos out the window, which somehow endangers national security.

  10. 10.

    John Cole

    Hapless English-lacking tourist is hassled by self-important conductor and ultimately removed from train by jackbooted thugs for taking photos out the window, which somehow endangers national security.

    Or, as we call it now that the country has been whipped into a state of perpetual fear- Thursday.

  11. 11.

    huxley

    There’s this Lebanese guy in Halifax who makes the most amazing falafel. I think I’ll have to partake when I head down there this weekend.

    If it’s who I think it is, that Lebanese guy is actually Syrian. Middle Eastern food is in great supply in Halifax. Yummmm …

  17. 17.

    Ninerdave

    In San Jose, CA Falafel’s Drive in. The good ol’ American car hop gone Terrerist™. Do the islamofacists have any shame? How could they subject the Fonz and Richie to such heresy.

    I can’t believe I used to eat there. I didn’t know that I was supporting the Terrerists!! Will the Baby Jesus ever be able to forgive me?

  19. 19.

    Xenos

    First you surrender to Islamofascism. They the Hellenofascists come after you…

    Much of that food is Turkish, courtesy of the folks who colonized both the Greeks and the Arabs. And don’t refer to “Turkish Delight” in the presence of Greeks.

  20. 20.

    capelza

    Silly FBI…everyone knows the real terroists only buy the rose extract for cooking!

    Looks to the side…hopes they didn’t notice…

  21. 21.

    Libby Spencer

    Funny, it makes me think of glistening, soapy breasts.

    You had to bring that up after I finally blocked that phone call from my memory. There goes three years of therapy down the drain.

  22. 22.

    Dreggas

    Libby Spencer Says:

    You had to bring that up after I finally blocked that phone call from my memory. There goes three years of therapy down the drain.

    “further more the complaintant could clearly hear what sounded like a vibrator with which the caller (O’Reilly) seemed to be pleasuring himself.”

    Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  23. 23.

    Michael D.

    Middle Eastern food is in great supply in Halifax.

    There are some great street vendors on Spring Garned Road, as well as down on the lower part of Barrington. Yum!

  25. 25.

    Face

    If they’re going to look for a sales spike in consumerables that Iranians would use, why are they not parsing the shaving cream and deoderant data?

  26. 26.

    John S.

    I’m going to be a “Middle Eastern” food pedant here for a second.

    There is a lot of fare that qualifies as Middle Eastern, and there is definitely crossover with neighboring regions like Turkey and Greece. If you are lucky enough to have a wide variety like I do here in South Florida, you’ll notice many subtle differences from place to place.

    Judging from all the restaurants I’ve been to, I find Israeli places make the best falafel and humus (maybe they have special garbanzo beans). Persian places have the best seasoning, especially for meats dishes like schwarma (they also do amazing things with lentils). Egyptians make some mean babaganoush and their pita (when made fresh) is outstanding. I find Lebanese food to be kind of middle-of-the-road, sort of like an American version of most Middle Eastern favorites. The Turkish place I go to makes the best baklava I have ever had, and it goes well with their outstanding coffees.

    If you are particularly lucky, you can find a spot that will let you fire up the hookah after your meal. Nothing tops off a great Middle Eastern meal like some nice mint or apple flavored shisha.

    So eat hearty, my habibis, before islamofascismphobia runs all these places out of business.

  27. 27.

    Dreggas

    If you are particularly lucky, you can find a spot that will let you fire up the hookah after your meal. Nothing tops off a great Middle Eastern meal like some nice mint or apple flavored shisha.

    No joke, there is a great persian place here in So Cal you would miss if you did not know where it was. The food is the best and they keep a wood fire going with coals and many flavors for the hookah after the meal.

  28. 28.

    The Other Steve

    If a newspaper other than the Onion reported that the FBI had attempted to construct a database of everyone who ordered the insidious French Slam instead of the patriotic All-American Slam at Dennys, who here would really be shocked anymore? Can I see a show of hands?

    If I prefer the Southwestern Slam does that make me an illegal immigrant from Mexico?

  29. 29.

    The Other Steve

    Persian places have the best seasoning

    Could that be because Iran is the primary exporter of Saffron?

  30. 30.

    Stalkin Malkin Groupie

    As long as they don’t come for my Cheetos and Moutain Dew, I don’t care who they spy on!

  32. 32.

    chopper

    I’m going to be a “Middle Eastern” food pedant here for a second.

    don’t worry, i for one take a wide stance when it comes to falafel balls.

  33. 33.

    Krista

    Now, when someone actually makes a donair pizza that doesn’t make me cringe in fear*, then that will be news.

    Bash Toulany’s is probably your best bet. Bash is the god of donair meat.

    If it’s who I think it is, that Lebanese guy is actually Syrian. Middle Eastern food is in great supply in Halifax. Yummmm …

    I’m thinking of Ray, of course. Have you ever had his club pita? It’s epic.

    There are some great street vendors on Spring Garned Road, as well as down on the lower part of Barrington. Yum!

    They’re good. But the North End is where you have all the little hole-in-the-wall joints with amazing donairs, and obscenely huge and cheap pizza slices.

  34. 34.

    jake

    Up the airy mountain,
    Down the rushy glen.
    We dare not go a-hunting,
    For fear of swarthy men.

    The fact that the US hasn’t become a nation of goose-stepping, Hail George-ing, brownshirt clad fascists who spend their time herding brown people into ovens says something about the power of something in America.

    Common sense?
    Decency?
    Probably cable TV.
    Oh well.

    Oh well.

  35. 35.

    HyperIon

    Gaymeh Badamjoun….truly amazing…the eggplant has the yummiest texture EVER!

    but don’t spill it on you…the (saffron?) stains will never come out.

    there’s a Iranian store in my neighborhood. it’s run by a nice guy who took down the big map of Iran on his wall right after 9/11. his mom makes the Gaymeh Badamjoun.

  36. 36.

    scarshapedstar

    Hail George-ing, brownshirt clad fascists who spend their time herding brown people into ovens says something about the power of something in America.

    I suspect the usual suspects would be OK with incinerating people if we simply called it “fireboarding”.

  39. 39.

    Anne Laurie

    Huh. Around here many of the best-known purveyors of falafel, saffron, and other suspiciously non-Dennys food products are either Israeli or Armenian. Will AIPAC have to start targeting the FBI as anti-Semites now?

    Of course, I’ve been told there are a few Armenian-Americans in the San Jose area as well. Maybe we should ask Diane Feinstein if she’s heard about this.

    It’s probably just more evidence that the FBI has been recruiting too heavily from those fine Redstate communities where the only acceptable flavorings are black pepper, dried onion flakes, cinnamon, high-fructose corn syrup, and the sort of chemical compounds that require the use of numbers.

  40. 40.

    Cain

    No shit, especially with some grilled lamb, preferably done in a mint sauce.

    I made lamb burgers that way with mint yoghurt sauce. Freakin delicious. (I made kababos that way too with saffron rice)

    Persian cookery had a lot of influence on north indian cooking. Even the names are kinda similar. What you need is some of that pomegranite paste. Mmmmm…

    cain

  41. 41.

    Bob In Pacifica

    In San Francisco, on Irving Street between 22nd and 23rd Avenue, is a Palestinian place where (when they are not planning world conquest) they make some great falafels. They’ve got that lamb rotisserie in the window! And all these great black olives.

  42. 42.

    Dreggas

    Cain,

    There is this egyptian mint sauce I used to get from Ralph’s here in CA. Used to marinade the lamb with it then grill until medium rare. Serve that with some homemade Hummus and grilled pitas as well as some tabouli and you have a meal.

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