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You are here: Home / Humorous / First They Came

First They Came

by John Cole|  November 8, 20073:54 pm| 43 Comments

This post is in: Humorous, General Stupidity, Republican Crime Syndicate - aka the Bush Admin.

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For your telephone. Then, your falafel.

Although, in all honesty, when I am feeling all subversive and anti-government, I sometimes get a craving for stuffed grape leaves and yogurt sauce. So who knows, really?

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Previous Post: « Foodie Tips From Anthony Bourdain
Next Post: WVU v. Louisville »

Reader Interactions

43Comments

  1. 1.

    Zifnab

    November 8, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    That would be Greek Food, I think.

  2. 2.

    John Cole

    November 8, 2007 at 3:59 pm

    Ehh- falafels, grape leaves- it is all greek to me.

    /ducks

  3. 3.

    Dreggas

    November 8, 2007 at 4:00 pm

    Zifnab Says:

    That would be Greek Food, I think.

    it’s transcontinental. I know a persian place that has awesome stuffed grape leaves and I believe that is the type John is referring to.

  4. 4.

    Krista

    November 8, 2007 at 4:02 pm

    Mmm….Middle Eastern food. There’s this Lebanese guy in Halifax who makes the most amazing falafel. I think I’ll have to partake when I head down there this weekend.

  5. 5.

    Mary

    November 8, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    I thought there were a hell of a lot of Lebanese guys in Halifax who made the most amazing falafel. Really, the Lebanese community in Nova Scotia rocks.

    Now, when someone actually makes a donair pizza that doesn’t make me cringe in fear*, then that will be news. :-)

    * The donair sauce is made from condensed (sweetened) milk, vinegar and garlic powder. Somewhere, Anthony Bourdain chooses to eat another seal eyeball instead.

  6. 6.

    jenniebee

    November 8, 2007 at 4:19 pm

    If a newspaper other than the Onion reported that the FBI had attempted to construct a database of everyone who ordered the insidious French Slam instead of the patriotic All-American Slam at Dennys, who here would really be shocked anymore? Can I see a show of hands?

  7. 7.

    KCinDC

    November 8, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    Another unbelievable dispatch from Bedwetter Nation.

  8. 8.

    John Cole

    November 8, 2007 at 4:26 pm

    Another unbelievable dispatch from Bedwetter Nation.

    TLDR. What is the main point?

  9. 9.

    KCinDC

    November 8, 2007 at 4:31 pm

    Sorry, should have summarized. Hapless English-lacking tourist is hassled by self-important conductor and ultimately removed from train by jackbooted thugs for taking photos out the window, which somehow endangers national security.

  10. 10.

    John Cole

    November 8, 2007 at 4:33 pm

    Hapless English-lacking tourist is hassled by self-important conductor and ultimately removed from train by jackbooted thugs for taking photos out the window, which somehow endangers national security.

    Or, as we call it now that the country has been whipped into a state of perpetual fear- Thursday.

  11. 11.

    huxley

    November 8, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    There’s this Lebanese guy in Halifax who makes the most amazing falafel. I think I’ll have to partake when I head down there this weekend.

    If it’s who I think it is, that Lebanese guy is actually Syrian. Middle Eastern food is in great supply in Halifax. Yummmm …

  12. 12.

    Libby Spencer

    November 8, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    Falafel always makes me mellow. It’s the gyros with a side order of tabouli that brings out my inner subversive.

  13. 13.

    Bubblegum Tate

    November 8, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    Teh terrorists have infiltrated our menu planning! Oh noes!

  14. 14.

    chopper

    November 8, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    wow, suspected for buying falafel? is bill o’reilly gonna shave his head in protest?

  15. 15.

    scarshapedstar

    November 8, 2007 at 4:59 pm

    Crap, and I just bought 4 pallets of loofahs.

  16. 16.

    Darkrose

    November 8, 2007 at 5:01 pm

    Hmm. My girlfriend made khoresh a while back. Should I be worried?

  17. 17.

    Ninerdave

    November 8, 2007 at 5:10 pm

    In San Jose, CA Falafel’s Drive in. The good ol’ American car hop gone Terrerist™. Do the islamofacists have any shame? How could they subject the Fonz and Richie to such heresy.

    I can’t believe I used to eat there. I didn’t know that I was supporting the Terrerists!! Will the Baby Jesus ever be able to forgive me?

  18. 18.

    tBone

    November 8, 2007 at 5:14 pm

    Falafel always makes me mellow.

    Funny, it makes me think of glistening, soapy breasts.

  19. 19.

    Xenos

    November 8, 2007 at 5:23 pm

    First you surrender to Islamofascism. They the Hellenofascists come after you…

    Much of that food is Turkish, courtesy of the folks who colonized both the Greeks and the Arabs. And don’t refer to “Turkish Delight” in the presence of Greeks.

  20. 20.

    capelza

    November 8, 2007 at 5:24 pm

    Silly FBI…everyone knows the real terroists only buy the rose extract for cooking!

    Looks to the side…hopes they didn’t notice…

  21. 21.

    Libby Spencer

    November 8, 2007 at 5:24 pm

    Funny, it makes me think of glistening, soapy breasts.

    You had to bring that up after I finally blocked that phone call from my memory. There goes three years of therapy down the drain.

  22. 22.

    Dreggas

    November 8, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    Libby Spencer Says:

    You had to bring that up after I finally blocked that phone call from my memory. There goes three years of therapy down the drain.

    “further more the complaintant could clearly hear what sounded like a vibrator with which the caller (O’Reilly) seemed to be pleasuring himself.”

    Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  23. 23.

    Michael D.

    November 8, 2007 at 5:41 pm

    Middle Eastern food is in great supply in Halifax.

    There are some great street vendors on Spring Garned Road, as well as down on the lower part of Barrington. Yum!

  24. 24.

    Michael D.

    November 8, 2007 at 5:42 pm

    Garned = Garden, obviously :-)

  25. 25.

    Face

    November 8, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    If they’re going to look for a sales spike in consumerables that Iranians would use, why are they not parsing the shaving cream and deoderant data?

  26. 26.

    John S.

    November 8, 2007 at 6:05 pm

    I’m going to be a “Middle Eastern” food pedant here for a second.

    There is a lot of fare that qualifies as Middle Eastern, and there is definitely crossover with neighboring regions like Turkey and Greece. If you are lucky enough to have a wide variety like I do here in South Florida, you’ll notice many subtle differences from place to place.

    Judging from all the restaurants I’ve been to, I find Israeli places make the best falafel and humus (maybe they have special garbanzo beans). Persian places have the best seasoning, especially for meats dishes like schwarma (they also do amazing things with lentils). Egyptians make some mean babaganoush and their pita (when made fresh) is outstanding. I find Lebanese food to be kind of middle-of-the-road, sort of like an American version of most Middle Eastern favorites. The Turkish place I go to makes the best baklava I have ever had, and it goes well with their outstanding coffees.

    If you are particularly lucky, you can find a spot that will let you fire up the hookah after your meal. Nothing tops off a great Middle Eastern meal like some nice mint or apple flavored shisha.

    So eat hearty, my habibis, before islamofascismphobia runs all these places out of business.

  27. 27.

    Dreggas

    November 8, 2007 at 6:16 pm

    If you are particularly lucky, you can find a spot that will let you fire up the hookah after your meal. Nothing tops off a great Middle Eastern meal like some nice mint or apple flavored shisha.

    No joke, there is a great persian place here in So Cal you would miss if you did not know where it was. The food is the best and they keep a wood fire going with coals and many flavors for the hookah after the meal.

  28. 28.

    The Other Steve

    November 8, 2007 at 6:26 pm

    If a newspaper other than the Onion reported that the FBI had attempted to construct a database of everyone who ordered the insidious French Slam instead of the patriotic All-American Slam at Dennys, who here would really be shocked anymore? Can I see a show of hands?

    If I prefer the Southwestern Slam does that make me an illegal immigrant from Mexico?

  29. 29.

    The Other Steve

    November 8, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    Persian places have the best seasoning

    Could that be because Iran is the primary exporter of Saffron?

  30. 30.

    Stalkin Malkin Groupie

    November 8, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    As long as they don’t come for my Cheetos and Moutain Dew, I don’t care who they spy on!

  31. 31.

    Dreggas

    November 8, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    The Other Steve Says:

    If I prefer the Southwestern Slam does that make me an illegal immigrant from Mexico?

    Yes.

  32. 32.

    chopper

    November 8, 2007 at 7:34 pm

    I’m going to be a “Middle Eastern” food pedant here for a second.

    don’t worry, i for one take a wide stance when it comes to falafel balls.

  33. 33.

    Krista

    November 8, 2007 at 8:22 pm

    Now, when someone actually makes a donair pizza that doesn’t make me cringe in fear*, then that will be news.

    Bash Toulany’s is probably your best bet. Bash is the god of donair meat.

    If it’s who I think it is, that Lebanese guy is actually Syrian. Middle Eastern food is in great supply in Halifax. Yummmm …

    I’m thinking of Ray, of course. Have you ever had his club pita? It’s epic.

    There are some great street vendors on Spring Garned Road, as well as down on the lower part of Barrington. Yum!

    They’re good. But the North End is where you have all the little hole-in-the-wall joints with amazing donairs, and obscenely huge and cheap pizza slices.

  34. 34.

    jake

    November 8, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    Up the airy mountain,
    Down the rushy glen.
    We dare not go a-hunting,
    For fear of swarthy men.

    The fact that the US hasn’t become a nation of goose-stepping, Hail George-ing, brownshirt clad fascists who spend their time herding brown people into ovens says something about the power of something in America.

    Common sense?
    Decency?
    Probably cable TV.
    Oh well.

    Oh well.

  35. 35.

    HyperIon

    November 8, 2007 at 9:02 pm

    Gaymeh Badamjoun….truly amazing…the eggplant has the yummiest texture EVER!

    but don’t spill it on you…the (saffron?) stains will never come out.

    there’s a Iranian store in my neighborhood. it’s run by a nice guy who took down the big map of Iran on his wall right after 9/11. his mom makes the Gaymeh Badamjoun.

  36. 36.

    scarshapedstar

    November 8, 2007 at 9:32 pm

    Hail George-ing, brownshirt clad fascists who spend their time herding brown people into ovens says something about the power of something in America.

    I suspect the usual suspects would be OK with incinerating people if we simply called it “fireboarding”.

  37. 37.

    John Cole

    November 8, 2007 at 10:36 pm

    mmm Tabouli

    mmm Grape Leaves

  38. 38.

    Dreggas

    November 9, 2007 at 12:41 am

    John Cole Says:

    mmm Tabouli

    mmm Grape Leaves

    No shit, especially with some grilled lamb, preferably done in a mint sauce.

  39. 39.

    Anne Laurie

    November 9, 2007 at 12:55 am

    Huh. Around here many of the best-known purveyors of falafel, saffron, and other suspiciously non-Dennys food products are either Israeli or Armenian. Will AIPAC have to start targeting the FBI as anti-Semites now?

    Of course, I’ve been told there are a few Armenian-Americans in the San Jose area as well. Maybe we should ask Diane Feinstein if she’s heard about this.

    It’s probably just more evidence that the FBI has been recruiting too heavily from those fine Redstate communities where the only acceptable flavorings are black pepper, dried onion flakes, cinnamon, high-fructose corn syrup, and the sort of chemical compounds that require the use of numbers.

  40. 40.

    Cain

    November 9, 2007 at 1:37 am

    No shit, especially with some grilled lamb, preferably done in a mint sauce.

    I made lamb burgers that way with mint yoghurt sauce. Freakin delicious. (I made kababos that way too with saffron rice)

    Persian cookery had a lot of influence on north indian cooking. Even the names are kinda similar. What you need is some of that pomegranite paste. Mmmmm…

    cain

  41. 41.

    Bob In Pacifica

    November 9, 2007 at 10:03 am

    In San Francisco, on Irving Street between 22nd and 23rd Avenue, is a Palestinian place where (when they are not planning world conquest) they make some great falafels. They’ve got that lamb rotisserie in the window! And all these great black olives.

  42. 42.

    Dreggas

    November 9, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    Cain,

    There is this egyptian mint sauce I used to get from Ralph’s here in CA. Used to marinade the lamb with it then grill until medium rare. Serve that with some homemade Hummus and grilled pitas as well as some tabouli and you have a meal.

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