We’re well ahead over at the Weblog Awards. And it’s all the more sweet because, as commenter Tsulagi points out, it’s really upsetting the folks over at RedState!
**Update: If you REALLY wanted to have fun, you could vote for My Pet Jawa and push RedState into third!!
It’s ok man, we already won.
kowalski sure seems to be going all the way around his elbow to get to his thumb (don’t ask me where I picked up that metaphor).
It’s really pretty simple; more readers here. I would think every blog has been encouraging its readers to vote early and vote often, so whining about Kos or BJ or whoever putting their thumbs on the poll’s scales is absurd. And the pre-emptive bitching about the content and commenters here is just ever more sour grapes.
So, naturally, when BJ wins, they’ll dis the poll as meaningless. Of course, if they had won, it would be because RedState.com is the Bestest Blog Evah.
Keep making them cry, guys. I love the sound of wingnuts wailing and gnashing their teeth in the morning. Sounds like victory.
Dude, there are still 3.5 hours left! :-)
Michael van der Galiën
Yep you did. Congrats.
Michael van der Galiën
Wow. They really seem to be quite upset don’t they?
Anyway – yes, 3.5 hours left, you can bring it to 25%!
This looks like fun!
Is it because Balloon Juice beats its wife? That its soporific posts cause readers to smash their heads on the keyboard and accidentally vote in the Weblog awards? Or was Balloon Juice really on the grassy knoll? Is Balloon Juice beating Red State because of idiotic posts by 2 bit hacks, like this one? Is it because of the shameless dishonesty and utter lack of integrity that passes for discussion on our site? Does popularity in the Weblog awards mean i can touch a girl? Legally? If I drop a bar of soap in a puddle of mud, is the soap dirty? Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? Is it “cool” when I Dutch Oven myself?
[Author’s note: The Editors know where I stand on wet suits. I’m wearing two right now ;)]
Michael van der Galiën
Being Dutch, I do wonder what you mean by that.
Meanwhile, we lost… Ahwell. It was fun.
And for what it’s worth: yes redstaters, they won because they allow profanity. We like profanity. It makes us happy.
Oh snaps! They just compared you to NPR! John, Tim, Mike, … Tom, are you going to take that shit?
In other news, how the fuck does this happen?
I’m not Demi-like in my math acumen, but my skillz tell me that’s 80% of the items lost and/or mismarked? WTF?
Am I missing something? (heh). Why would it take an audit to figger out 80% of your shit is gone?
I think it’s because of all the free hookers and porn you get here. Sssssh! Don’t tell the RedStaters.
That Red State thread was truly entertaining. Some quick thoughts:
1.) I think the competition is a joke, and have frequently referred to it as the Most Persistent Online Narcissim award.
2.) Do we have any Ron Paul voters in the readership here? I know there have been a few driveby comments, but I thought most of the readership here thinks Paul is nuts, but right on Iraq.
3.) Thomas and Moe Lane are almost as bitter as Kowalski is dumb.
4.) Did I miss the big Kossack push to help us win?
5.) Did it ever occur to them that the reason we are winning is twofold. For one, Tim and Michael have been brow-beating folks for days now and linked to the actual post so people can, you know, go vote. Second, and most important, I would wager we have more dedicated readers/commenters. They may have more daily hits, but from uncommitted readers and from links by Rush/Instapundit/Hugh/Malkin, etc., and they are people who cruise in, check out the post, and bail. Here, people stick around.
Of course, they could have a dedicated readership and comment base IF THEY DIDN’T FUCKING BAN EVERYONE who refused to fellate Bush and the GOP leadership.
heh, indeed! Tell me only things which accord with what I already believe, don’t bother me with inconvenient ‘facts’ which might cause me to waste valuable time reconsidering my ideological premises!
you mean there might be something to that 24% business? Heavens to betsy!
Imagine that. Things forgotten in the Reagan library. Reagan.
I don’t know how they type with the President’s cock in their mouth.
This reminds me of the day Bush fired Rumsfeld, much to the bewilderment of various folks at good ole’ redstate, and several critical posts ensued, which I termed them as waking up and saying to themselves “ZOMG! How did the President’s COCK get in my MOUTH?”
Of course, AcademicElephant eventually got a job working for Rumsfeld after that, so she got to go from virtually fellating him to actually doing so.
I like NPR – especially “All Things Considered.”
That thread is hugely entertaining…makes me feel better about my lackluster 37 meters.
Yeah, but for a week they’ve had the embedded poll (and a plea to vote for Jeff Emanuel in a different category) as the top item on not only the front page, but for every freaking story and diary. In fact, it only disappeared when you all overtook them.
Meanwhile, Treppenwitz doesn’t have a chance. I was proud to vote for him.
considering what’s happening to the dollar (how looooowwww can it goooooo?), that busted clock wrt fiat money might be right before long.
Fuck Redstate. I just hope winning this thing doesn’t make Balloon Juice respectable.
Ha! They banned the poll for non-conformity.
of course you do. You’re part of the Vast IslamoDemoCommieHomoFascist Conspiracy.
“Of course we lost – we didn’t want to win that stupid poll anyway!” /redstate
Michael van der Galiën
Heh. I don’t know what it is that makes Red Staters think that their blog is all that; they just don’t have a very active or healthy community, and they seem to like it better that way. You won’t win any awards, sure, but that shouldn’t be surprising. Although this is funny:
Newspapers still have some standards? Woo hoo! Also, since when did hackish shilling for the GOP become the measure of ‘depth of talent’… only on Red State! Never change, guys.
Oh, and if global warming is the greatest scam in history, then where’s my check? Considering the hundreds of billions we’ve already spent on Iraq, I expect to get at least double that back from this global warming scam…
I do not think that ‘talent’ means, what they seem to think it means.
Unless by ‘talent’, they mean Bush-fellating. I’d have to agree with them if that’s the case.
Shouldn’t that be: “Now I know why they type, it’s hard to talk with the presidents cock in their mouth.” And before you think “hey wait, how do they see with his pubed (or nuts) in their eyes” I am sure there is a George W Dildo out there on the market somewhere. After all there was an action figure.
Have you started receiving your checks from George Soros yet John?
Ah yes, to be lectured on maturity by a RedState commenter.
The Other Andrew
God help me, I clicked on that Red State link. I was doing pretty well until they mentioned “the leading lights of the Party,” and then I just cracked up.
Supporting torture but opposing cursing…that’s…well, the parodies write themselves, at this point.
Fuck yeah! We fucking won! I knew we could fucking do it! Group hug, motherfuckers!
Seriously, I think we won because you can use profanity here. That, or our heterodoxy. No offense to Michael D.
It clearly does not, and that’s just one small part of the big pot of comedy gumbo that is Asshurt McGee’s thread over there.
Good old Thomas. I saw that- Sullivan has always been crazy, but Cole just switched sides for TEH FILTHY LUCRE!
I would tell Thomas to go fuck himself, but I don’t have an account there and they don’t allow profanity.
Seems to me that Red State is just a slightly tepid version of Blogs for Bush because they have not yet, as far as I know, called for civil war with Democrats.
That doesn’t make them interesting.
I love this part,
I also prefer to support blogs that don’t waste my valuable time
The blogs are wasting his time. Stop forcing me to read your open profanity and All Things Considered-ness (a notoriously profane show, I might add). I just don’t have the time!!1!
You waste your own time, kowalski.
The Other Steve
The reason Balloon-Juice won is because Nancy Pelosi mentioned it on the Congress floor and urged all the Democratic staffers to go vote.
The Other Steve
Where urged = Told them to go vote, or she’d have their parents killed.
The Other Steve
Er, I mean cat. And it was Hitlery Clinton, not Nancy Pelosi.
sorry for all the confusion.
Showing the kind of keen analysis this group is known for, the handwringing, bitter “Why Are We Losing To Them, Why God, Why?” post is followed by a comment that explains, with absolutely no apparent irony: It’s because we don’t take it too seriously.
Red State lost because their readers are too dumb to know how to do a release/renew on their IP address.
All your base are belong to us, motherfuckers!
Poor RedState, don’t they realise that a bunch of their hits are from the evil Left…people go there to see the crazy..often linked from Kos or other scary places.
BUT WE FUCKING WON, RED STATE FUCKING LOST BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING LOOOOOSERS. HA!! EAT IT RED STATE, YA TOOLS!
(obligatory profanity, and childishness)
“Does Balloon Juice make people “more comfortable” because it challenges them less?”
This line really got me. Red state provides zero challenge to it’s readers, anyone that disagrees or goes against the right wing echo chamber that is red state is instantly banned. How they think anything could be less intellectually challenging then a wingnut reading red state is simply amazing.
Oh please, with riff-raff like us here? Never gonna happen.
I think they’re using is in “checking out the local talent.”
The Other Steve
Not sure about Redstate.
But I did vote for Ace of Spades over in the section labeled “Blogs We Monitor and Mock As Needed”. I figured the craziest person should win.
Sadly no has a guaranteed win over in Comedy.
And I’m please to see TalkingPointsMemo has taken the lead in best liberal blog.
Redstate is better at fluffing. That’s all that needs to be said. Just because they can have a bobble head circle jerk and not get any on themselves doesn’t mean shit.
I can suck dick really well myself, that doesn’t mean I should get an award for it. Let’s also not forget these are blog awards not some form of the internet special olympics, drooling on oneself and thumping ones chest are not signs of super-awesomeness.
Actually, there ARE awards for that (NSFW).
And now I think I’ve filled my quota of reading Teh RS Stupid for the near future. I won’t return until Moe, Kowalski and the rest each submit to me 2000 word essays on how the Jacobins edged out the Girondists and the continuing impact of that outcome on world politics. Please cite original source material!
you know, i think the whole vote is a joke, given that you can vote every 24 hours if you want, or even more often if you’ve got more than one IP or are pretty savvy with computers.
but still, hearing RS bitch and complain about not winning a worthless poll? the hell?
i mean, if this was an actual real award, and RS was some sort of readable, cerebral blog with actual intelligent discussion, they might have a point.
but this sorta shit:
?? how these hacks have the balls to complain about not winning anything except ‘blog most likely to make baby jesus cry’ is beyond me.
Ya know, I am not suprised.
Wow. He actually googled up an answer. That is so hard core, I’m not sure how to describe it.
Can we please rename that to the “Most Persistent Online Republican Narcissism Award”? I like the acronym better.
Enjoy your M-Porn award, BJ.
I am in a panel right now that is so boring it makes the Golf Channel in the off-season look positively fascinating.
Sock Puppet of the Great Satan
Just to note that the Global Warming Denialist site, Climate Audit, is beating the Bad Astronomy site for Best Science Blog.
It’d be awful if a science-dening site won best science blog, so vote for Bad Astronomy here: http://2007.weblogawards.org/polls/best-science-blog-1.php
Dreggas, you should have blockquoted yourself within John’s blockquote — otherwise, it looks like John’s saying that he’s great at sucking dick.
Which is amusing as hell, but may not necessarily be factual.
I think it was just his way of getting me back for things like the baby jesus butt plug. However it is amusing to note how he was talking about having a nice salad the other day and didn’t comment when asked if it was tossed.
Ah, those can suck.
Golf has an off-season? I just assumed it ran the whole year round cause the game takes so freak’n long to play.
ROFLMMFAO. Holy shit that is amusing as all bloody hell. OMG!
What a bunch of whiners. The only reason you guys aren’t stomping the snot out of them even worse is because you didn’t start pimping yourselves in this poll until just a couple of days ago.
And to answer their questions, yes the readers here are much more devoted (I’ve voted for you guys as many times as I’ve voted for my blog, which is saying something considering how many computers I’ve had to do that at) and also because, as John so eloquantly puts it, the guys here don’t “FUCKING BAN EVERYONE” who doesn’t tow the line. And the result might also have something to do with the fact that RedState is “informative and focused” only if by that they mean “GOP partisans who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.”
For an example of their wisdom there’s this nugget: “Democratic legislators COUNT ON on having people who are so incoherant they can only yell.” Who knew? Last time I checked, that wasn’t in my edition of “Secret Democratic Strategies (DON’T LET KOS SEE THIS!)”
Is the award sculpted out of play-doh and bacon?
Poo. Bum. Tittilate.
The blog is teh awesome!
Here is one of my favorite little jibes from the Red State post:
I know its tough to figure out …. but … wait a minute … the one who gets the most votes … WINS! Sorry for being so slow but I was really muli-tasking here …
You know–deciding whether I going to be a … liberal or … conservative or … both. Gosh. Decisions, decisions. I just can’t make up my mind which ideology applies to my feeeeeeelllings today.
Now THAT is a cheap shot! Every knows it was the Israelis and their sympathizers. C’mon what kind of idiot do you think I am? Jesus! I love Ron Paul. Anyone who can work the Ideologues into that much of a lather certainly deserves some praise. Waterboarding isn’t torture, but Ron Paul is? Schadenfreude, eh? Go ahead! Make my day! Call me a hater. Out here at our fortified compound in the badlands of New Mexico we call it good clean fun. Time for some Tequila Añejo and the Shooting Range. Yah-tah-hey.
You know, these were the same fucking assclowns telling gore to get over it…the irony….it rusteth under their pathetic WATB tears.
Is this true? Are you fuckin serious?
and then the thread jumped the shark. Anytime a comment makes me physically spit up food that should be going down my hole, that comment should be noted. Thanks Dregs, it looks as it you got me damn near choking and Cole all hot ‘n bothered.
Always happy to oblige :D
There’s an off-season in golf? WTF?
It is kind of sad. Red State had the chance to be something different yet they chose to be just another cog in the VRWC. You deserve better Erick.
You’re so full of shit. I knew it
Footie or non-footie? Buck Rodgers or Daffy Duck?
And that’s why this blog rocks. Only here can you read about the Chinese economy, airplane games, the separation of Church and State, and fellatio.
That’s what happens when a blog is cool enough that commenters actually stick around and get to know each other.
If that’s hardcore, then how would you describe the fact that I knew all about the AVN awards without using Google?
(I know some folks who work in the porn industry. No, none of them are on-camera talent, though one guy did appear in one flick as the “boyfriend” who had to watch his “girlfriend” get filled out like an application.)
I couldn’t see the link but if it’s to the AVN then it’s not really what I had in mind I mean really. They make porn that’s nothing but dick sucking contests in a boxing ring for crying out loud.
That and while the AVN and their conventions are all well and good, they’re so commercial and tame it’s not funny. Events like DomCon tend to be more fun.
I don’t want my smut credentials questioned. I knew about the AVN awards without google, as I was watching Real Sex on HBO the other night.
I just didn’t know what their website was…
Holy Moly! I just got TU status at Kos! How did that happen?
I post maybe once a day tops…posted three or four times today and suddenly I have the zap power…
And often all of the above somehow tie together. Like the fact that the republicans running the show are sucking the dicks of the christian right, or vice versa. We can coherently tie the dystopia together. The picture is not often pretty but it is funny as hell.
Auf Englisch, bitte?
For the record I don’t think anyone questions your smut credentials, you’re a bachelor. If they needed to be questioned that would be really sad.
That being said I have several friends that work for AVN (not surprising), they agree it’s so commercial now it’s not even funny. Not that the porn itself isn’t mass produced and commercial too but it’s become rather sterile.
it’s not hard you just post regularly and don’t get TR’d you’ll wind up TU’d in no time.
Trusted user stauts. I can troll rate people (not that I care to) and see the hidden comments that have been troll rated out of the public view.
You get it by getting a ton of reccomends, or at least I thought so….
Okay, I lied, I posted 11 times today…they shouldn’t have made that “post menopausal crack about Hillary….
And that FP really is being an ass.
Anyway…Go Balloon Juice..will you get an e-plaque?
Hey my friend writes the legal column for AVN. The articles are really quite good.
By the way, what’s TU. Or TR for that matter. I haven’t been to Kos in years.
I seriously doubt we win. I am still counting on being accused of some sort of perfidy or another, being removed from the competition, and then being called cheaters for the next five years.
It isn’t like they need to have proof- all they have to do is allege it. Remember, this is the crowd who thinks we don’t torture because Bush says we don’t.
And then they can give the award to Red State, and all will be well in Greater Wingnuttia.
And I am totally cool with that, btw. That is how unserious and unimportant these silly awards are.
Oh by the way, I only come here for the profanity and the smut. And besides Soros pays me to piss off Redstate.
TU = Trusted User
TR = Troll Rate
Small world regarding friends who work for the AVN. One of mine writes for blue news or whatever it is called.
The Other Steve
Not to mention Jenna Jameson.
How is Jenna Jameson connected? Well, I just mentioned her, and while I have no evidence to support this theory, I’m fairly certain she won some awards at AVN.
I suppose it’s inevitable that a thread about RedState would devolve into homoeroticism.
The Other Steve
HA! I just got TU status again like two days ago. I’m going to go trollrate you now. MOOO HAHAHA!
The continuing power of Monty Python as a role model for life. (Well, them and Rabelais.)
The Other Steve
Ok, I admit it. I had my dead grandparents vote.
Oh it’s so ON, buster!
Uh huh. And so are the articles in Playboy, and the advertisements in Penthouse, and the recycled paper in Swank, and the cover art on “Saving Ryan’s Privates”, and……
Wow RS takes its rhetorical position so seriously, they are true believers, if not outright koolade drinkers. It hard when you realize not everyone is a zealot. Now, what about that porn and hookers.
All of this blockquoting is getting me hot.
There does seem to an unusual number of people with friends inside considering the size of this group.
Yeah, yeah. But I’m serious. Mark has done some great investigative pieces. The one he did a while back about the gov’t prosecuting porn vendors while selling the same titles themselves generated a bit of buzz in the MSM even, not to mention gave my personal little blog a big traffic boost when three different A-listers linked to my post on it.
Offtopic, sort of-
Favorite titles of porns that are obvious rip-offs of regular Hollywood films- Forrest Hump and Field of Wet Dreams.
I remember reading that about that. It all was tying into 2257 and the crap we were dealing with in the Alt communities.
As for the playboy jokes, really the AVN is pretty serious as an organization. Part of their existence other than as a trade group is to fight against the censorship and other shit they face. Kinda like the NCSF but with real money on hand.
I nominate Shaving Ryan’s Privates.
I would say that around here, it would just as likely that a thread about homoeroticism would devolve into a discussion of the literary merits of RedState.
Favorite titles of porns that are obvious rip-offs of regular Hollywood films
Romancing the Bone
Dreggas – they really are a good organization. Kind of like an ACLU for porn.
Lord Of The G-String was the best rip off title and one of the most absurd skin-a-max parodies ever. It has to be seen to be believed but it’s worth it just for comedy value.
But whe can forget such classics as “Robo-Cock” and “King-Dong”?
However Sully pointed out one the other day I believe it was “Gaytanamo Bay” or “Guantanamo Gay” that was an S&M gay porn flick…go figure.
Allow me to nominate The Twilight Moan.
Hahah, I know someone else who worked for AVN as well — she said she had to leave because her libido was heading towards the nonexistent.
John: My favorites are:
Or obvious ripoffs from other porn flicks.
Debbie does Dobermans…. If it’s not a porn movie it should be.
Big Trouble in Little Vagina
Tea Bagger Vance
All Anal on the Western Front
Willy Wanker and the Fudge packing Factory
Three Men And A Barbie
Intercourse With The Vampire
The Loin King
Single White She-male
Not only is BJ in first place, RedState can’t even see our tail lights! BJ had my votes from the start. Hell, who wouldn’t vote for a BJ?!
Hahaha! I’ve actually seen one of those. It started out a little confusing, then becamse sort of funny, but at no point was it ever teh hawtt.
Didn’t mean to question your smut credentials, John. Carry on.
The Other Steve
What’s wrong with that?
Yay! B-J won!
I was hoping Jesus’ General would make a respectable second, but third isn’t to cry over either.
Somehow the idea of letting someone loose with a razor down there always gives me the willies. Not so say one shouldn’t trim the hedges, ladies don’t seem to like the Einstein look.
You guys are childish and profane.
Wow! the Sour Grapes from the RS folks is really illuminating. If BJ hadn’t won I know the reaction here would have been to laugh about it. Honestly, the most satisfying part of the whole thing is to witness their need to attack BJ for being more “popular”. WTF? Is there some crime in being “popular”?
Reasons to read Balloon Juice:
Most posters are part of or at least exist adjacent to the “reality-based community”
Interesting and varied topic threads that range from the ultra-critical to the ultra-farcial
A wide range of knowledge within the regular posters
A casual, loose and and generally friendly tone and atmosphere
We get to swear as much as we fucking want to…
…and tell off any priss-master who wants to feign superiority over it.
Reasons to read Red State:
Keeping up with the current definition of “delusional thinking”
Guaranteed agreement inherent in all allowed postings
Supports and propagates a continued state of denial
Logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead – and will remain in that State ad infinitum (apologies to Grace Slick)
Group whining sessions when losing meaningless popularity contests
No profanity allowed…everybody knows how fucking childish and immature it is to carelessly spew dirty words all over the place. Nobody with any fucking morals or dignity should deign to put up with cocksuckers who curse and talk shit all the fucking time
Mandatory dress code
and Pony’s…and Pie, too…
It’s not ultimate surrender
Nyah, Nyah..FUCK YOU, WE ARE NOT! – ASSHOLE
From personal experience it’s easier to let someone do it for you, also from personal experience once it’s done it is full body shiver inducing in a good way.
Fuck you, you fucking fuck.
oh and as for childish…I know you are but what am I?
Pretty Shitty Gang Bang
You’ve Got She-male
The Other Steve
I’m so glad I’m not at work.
I swear to christ this reminds me of one of the stupidest things to come out of my Bush-hugging brother-in-law’s yap…
“Well… if you just got rid of the city votes in places like California, it’d be just as red state as Texas is. It’s the urban voters that kill the rural voters in most blue states.”
“Get rid of them how exactly?”
because I didn’t say NSFW or because you are enjoying the matches?
Best porn title I ever saw (it wasn’t a spoof of a Hollywood film, but I saw this movie behind a convenience-store counter when I was 9, and the title just struck me as being rather memorable)
“Yank My Doodle, It’s a Dandy”
America!Balloon Juice! Fuck Yeah!
I prefer blogs that don’t waste my time? What is a blog but a time waster?
Oh, and Splendor in the Ass.
Dude, you have been SO dissed !
On Golden Blonde.
The question now: How long will take RS to go from “WaaaaaH! The filthypinkocommieislahomofascists cheated!” to “Ah, we didn’t want that stupid award anyways”?
Since John “TraitorLibrulCommie” Cole was a founding father, I’m guessing at least a week. In the meantime, set phasers on Maximum Snark in case they come a-calling.
Dude that is just funny. I think I hear a little violin playing their tune somewhere…oops I just stepped on it.
Funny thing is I can’t find the kos post mentioned in that post on humanevents…
No surprise. Evidently they couldn’t even link to the polling page correctly either.
The comments are priceless too. How about the one who claimed s/he tried to vote for Redstate but it showed up as a vote for Balloon Juice – typical lefty loonies !!!!
Tax Analyst … you realize I was joking, right?
Ah, the Internet.
Oops, I meant “typical loony left scam.”
Or is it eliptical toony soft lamb?
Pickled noodley tuft slam?
Now that the voting is closed . . . I admit I couldn’t ever vote for Jawa for anything. They are into war porn like no others. I don’t know if ogrish is still in commission. If it isn’t, Jawa took it’s place.
I understand that this award is important to Tim and especially MikeyD, but I didn’t see how voting for war porn was better than redstaters getting in second place in a silly poll. (yeah I voted, but gees, choosing between a site that is oblivious vs. a site that links to war porn. . . not so difficult to choose.
My rant is too late to make a difference, I know. Not htat it would have.
Seconded. I’d cast a vote for them only if someone forced my cold dead fingers to move the mouse and click.
Oh noes! ‘Tis the Great Webblog Diebold Scandal of ’07!
I suspect we’ll hear this a lot in ’08, after the Democratic candidate for President squashes whatever creep the GOP puts up. “I know it switched my vote because my sooper secret wingnut powerz allow me to keep a running tally of each vote [email protected]!”
Either way it’s funny :D
Michael van der Galiën
This thread is starting to frighten me.
Grumpy Code Monkey
Goddamned straight. That’s why I love coming here.
Well, fuck you all with Sean Hannity’s dick.