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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / New Ideas For The GOP

New Ideas For The GOP

by Tim F|  November 9, 20071:19 pm| 54 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

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I am highly disappointed that none of you thought of this first.

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54Comments

  1. 1.

    John Cole

    November 9, 2007 at 1:25 pm

    That is the kind of idiotic proposal that you would see in a Red State diary (and they would think it was not only clever, but serious and plausible).

  2. 2.

    Dreggas

    November 9, 2007 at 1:29 pm

    I feel ashamed I didn’t think of that first. Here I thought that much like the state of Georgia the well was indeed dry…

  3. 3.

    Dreggas

    November 9, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    The well I refer to is the one filled with entirely un-fucking-believable craptastic ideas.

  4. 4.

    Jake

    November 9, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    They keep dropping the L when they spell his name. You have to love the line of “reasoning” here. If tactical aid to FreedomLovas is good (and it must be good since St. Ron did it), then tactical nukes is even better!

    Though to be fair, it must be pointed out that Schock literally was in diapers when all this went down last time.

    And given his party affiliation, he might still be in diapers.

  5. 5.

    Ugh

    November 9, 2007 at 1:47 pm

    What a wuss, we should be giving nuclear weapons to our new Sunni ex-insurgent allies in Iraq to help root out al-Qaeda. Just one per person though, them’s expensive.

  6. 6.

    sujal

    November 9, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    Um. Wow.

  7. 7.

    Jake

    November 9, 2007 at 1:55 pm

    Speaking of Craptastic, care to guess his website’s Level of Dreadful?

    Wrong. Not even close.

  8. 8.

    Tsulagi

    November 9, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    That is the kind of idiotic proposal that you would see in a Red State diary (and they would think it was not only clever, but serious and plausible).

    That was exactly what I was thinking while first reading the Kos diary. That this dork in diapers running for Congress would be one of the future “leading lights” Kowalski was so proud of that appear on RedState.

    Vote Republican! A new generation of Leading Lights on the way! Night vision goggles required to see their brilliant genius sold separately.

  9. 9.

    norbizness

    November 9, 2007 at 1:57 pm

    No, this smacks of rank den Bestism, who contemplated a nuclear exchange with France over Iraq in 2002-2003. Of course, why confine lunacy to mere Congressional candidates?

  10. 10.

    fuddmain

    November 9, 2007 at 2:03 pm

    Speaking of Craptastic, care to guess his website’s Level of Dreadful?

    Wrong. Not even close.

    Wow. All he needs is a blink tag somewhere and it’s perfect. His 5-year brother did one hell of a job.

  11. 11.

    Dreggas

    November 9, 2007 at 2:16 pm

    Jake Says:

    Speaking of Craptastic, care to guess his website’s Level of Dreadful?

    Wrong. Not even close.

    Man that has to be some of the most craptastic flash I have ever seen. It’s especially funny how the “Aaron Schlock” animation jumps from one area to another at one point.

    And that picture….dude…priceless.

  12. 12.

    Svensker

    November 9, 2007 at 2:24 pm

    Hey, I don’t think it’s very nice to make fun of Aaron’s website. His 9th grade teacher gave him an A- on it, and said it was really awesome.

  13. 13.

    Zifnab

    November 9, 2007 at 2:39 pm

    Speaking of Craptastic, care to guess his website’s Level of Dreadful?

    Ye gods, what the hell was he thinking. Clearly not a follower of McCain’s “The Website Was Made in the 50s” style.

    Republicans really don’t know two shits about the Intertubes do they?

  14. 14.

    Faux News

    November 9, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    Sorry Tim. My bad. May I suggest we arm Kurdistan with Nu-klee-ur war heads to keep the Turks at bay? That should stabilize thing in the mideast quite nicely.

    If we REALLY get pissed off at the Turks we can also give nukes to the Greek part of Cyprus.

    To quote Ed Koch: “How am I doing”?

  15. 15.

    Frank

    November 9, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    What, you guys never met a college Republican before? I was a gaming buddy with one when I was 13-14 years old. He’d have loved this stuff.

  16. 16.

    Michael D.

    November 9, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    Off Topic: * shudder *

  17. 17.

    r€nato

    November 9, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    “Any freedom movement in a totalitarian country faces enormous difficulty in organizing against the unlimited resources of a ruthless state,” Schock said in the speech. “Those freedom movements need help from free nations. In Congress, I will advocate for them.

    the snark practically writes itself.

  18. 18.

    Jake

    November 9, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    And that picture….dude…priceless.

    Not many candidates would post a picture from their jr. high school graduation.

    And the colors. My eeeeyeeeesssss! Why blue and yellow? Blue because he’s a boy and yellow … hmmm. Given he’s a Republican, I’m going to guess it signals an interest in golden showers.

    But to me, the turd on the crap sundae is the curly swirly clown font used for About Aaron.

    Honestly, I was expecting some lame ass pastische of American eagles, flags and crosses. Is there a way to submit a page to the Wayback Machine? This is a classic.

  19. 19.

    Chad N. Freude

    November 9, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Well I thought the page-turning book was a beautiful touch. They laughed at Picasso, too. Don’t you people have any aesthetic sensibility?

  20. 20.

    RSA

    November 9, 2007 at 2:59 pm

    Speaking of Craptastic, care to guess his website’s Level of Dreadful?

    Oh. My. God. Paging through his picture album. . . I’ve never seen that level of craptastic interface design before. Thanks for the link.

  21. 21.

    Xanthippas

    November 9, 2007 at 3:01 pm

    As ridiculously insane as that is, if we got onto every State House/Senate/Assembly member who said something crazy about foreign policy (or just something crazy) we’d be blogging about that everyday. And I say this as a Texan, so I know whereof I speak.

  22. 22.

    Krista

    November 9, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    Speaking of Craptastic, care to guess his website’s Level of Dreadful?

    Wrong. Not even close.

    Yeah. If he were 16 and running for class president, and used that website, I’d say, “All right, cute kid, good effort on the site, not bad for his first try.”

    But he’s not 16, and not running for class president, so frankly, that’s just pitiful.

  23. 23.

    bago

    November 9, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    And given his party affiliation, he might still be in diapers.

    Nah. One they graduate college they upgrade to wetsuits.

  24. 24.

    NickM

    November 9, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    Hey, he’s not saying that under his plan nobody’s gonna get their hair mussed . . . .

  25. 25.

    libarbarian

    November 9, 2007 at 4:09 pm

    Hell Yeah!

    First we threaten to kick Irans ass. If anyone doesn’t go along, we threaten to kick their asses. Suppose some nation has a problem with the idea of giving Taiwan nukes? Well now we have to threaten to kick their asses too. And so on…

    Is their any problem that you cant solve by threatening to kick someones ass?

  26. 26.

    RSA

    November 9, 2007 at 4:16 pm

    Is their any problem that you cant solve by threatening to kick someones ass?

    I can’t imagine that no Republican has yet suggested that if China starts picking up Euros instead of dollars, we should nuke them in the name of national [economic] security.

  27. 27.

    rawshark

    November 9, 2007 at 4:20 pm

    OT
    Anyone watched Enemy of The State lately? I hated it when I first saw it. Now its scary to watch. Ignore the parts about spy satelites having recording capabilities (and instant access to in-store video camera feeds) and everything they mention is possible now. And is most likely being used now since as they say in the movie you’re opinion about privacy and civil liberties will be different when buildings start blowing up. The movie was released in 1998 BTW.

  28. 28.

    LITBMueller

    November 9, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    Hey, give the kid a break! He’s just tryin’ to live up to his unfortunately ironic last name!

  29. 29.

    ThymeZone

    November 9, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    I dunno, it all makes perfect sense to me. If we should have given gun permits to students at Vriginia Tech (and, presumably, all campuses) to promote self defense, why wouldn’t we extrapolate that commonsense policy to nations? Wouldn’t we want to give all our friends out there nuclear weapons?

    If weapon control is bad for citizens, why isn’t it bad for countries too?

    When nukes are outlawed, only outlaws will have nukes.

  30. 30.

    Dennis-SGMM

    November 9, 2007 at 4:36 pm

    The opening lyrics from Randy Newman’s “Political Science come to mind:

    No one likes us-I don’t know why
    We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
    But all around, even our old friends put us down
    Let’s drop the big one and see what happens

    We give them money-but are they grateful?
    No, they’re spiteful and they’re hateful
    They don’t respect us-so let’s surprise them
    We’ll drop the big one and pulverize them

    Full lyrics HERE

  31. 31.

    Punchy

    November 9, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    Can someone give me the 10-sec skinny on whatever the fuck that link says? Some of us have webfilters that don’t allow the Orange Satan. “Profanity”, I’m told. I kid you not. It blocks DK for “profanity”, but not BJ. Unfuckingbelievable.

  32. 32.

    Dreggas

    November 9, 2007 at 4:40 pm

    Punchy:

    No one likes us-I don’t know why
    We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
    But all around, even our old friends put us down
    Let’s drop the big one and see what happens

    We give them money-but are they grateful?
    No, they’re spiteful and they’re hateful
    They don’t respect us-so let’s surprise them
    We’ll drop the big one and pulverize them

    Asia’s crowded and Europe’s too old
    Africa is far too hot
    And Canada’s too cold
    And South America stole our name
    Let’s drop the big one
    There’ll be no one left to blame us

    We’ll save Australia
    Don’t wanna hurt no kangaroo
    We’ll build an All American amusement park there
    They got surfin’, too

    Boom goes London and boom Paris
    More room for you and more room for me
    And every city the whole world round
    Will just be another American town
    Oh, how peaceful it will be
    We’ll set everybody free
    You’ll wear a Japanese kimono
    And there’ll be Italian shoes for me

    They all hate us anyhow
    So let’s drop the big one now
    Let’s drop the big one now

  33. 33.

    Dreggas

    November 9, 2007 at 4:42 pm

    Oh wait you meant the DailyKos link.

    Put simply it’s about a republican who was in diapers when reagan was in office. He’s running on a platform of “If china doesn’t back us on Iran we’ll give Taiwan Nukes”. He also talks about how great regan was helping the contra’s and the “freedom fighters” and such.

  34. 34.

    ArchPundit

    November 9, 2007 at 4:47 pm

    ===As ridiculously insane as that is, if we got onto every State House/Senate/Assembly member who said something crazy about foreign policy (or just something crazy) we’d be blogging about that everyday. And I say this as a Texan, so I know whereof I speak.

    I understand the point, but this asshat has been labeled as an up and comer nationally with even Novak talking him up. He’s a prohibitive favorite for that seat.

    Well, until this broke.

  35. 35.

    ArchPundit

    November 9, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    You can also click on my name, it’s on my site as well. I swear less than John, I think, so you should be safe.

  36. 36.

    ArchPundit

    November 9, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    Oh, and he stood by it—check this out from House Race Hotline:

    Dr. Schock-Love
    McConoughey accused rival Schock of making “a very serious and reckless statement” when the 26-yo state Rep. proposed offering nuclear arms to Taiwan if China doesn’t go along with U.S. policy toward Iran in a speech 10/27. McConoughey said Schock’s comments “reflect a level of inexperience and overall lack of judgment and poor leadership.” McConoughey, asked why he thinks Schock made the comments: “My guess is, you know, he’s 26. And it’s a level of immaturity about what nuclear threat really can be to the United States and how it destabilizes the economic interests of the world.”
    11/8 Schock “did not back down.” His camp issued a statement with the headline: “Schock: It’s Naive for My Opponents to Sit Still While Iran Builds Nuclear Weapons.” From the release, Schock said he does not plan to go to Congress “and sit idly by while Iran gets nuclear weapons. The fulcrum here is China. We need to introduce new diplomatic prods to China to get them to do what is right. The one thing that gets (China’s) attention is Taiwan.”

    In a phone interview, Schock’s manager Steve Shearer added that Schock’s proposal is “not just something that he pulled out of his pocket … It’s a deeply thought-out policy.”

  37. 37.

    Dreggas

    November 9, 2007 at 4:52 pm

    O/T but:

    FEMA “Press Conference” while CA burned

  38. 38.

    Make7

    November 9, 2007 at 4:56 pm

    Punchy Says:

    Can someone give me the 10-sec skinny on whatever the fuck that link says? Some of us have webfilters that don’t allow the Orange Satan. “Profanity”, I’m told. I kid you not. It blocks DK for “profanity”, but not BJ. Unfuckingbelievable.

    I’m surprised you can even log-on if there is supposed to be a “profanity” filter.

    Anyway, why don’t you try using a web proxy – perhaps ForumWhore will get you past the “profanity” filter.

  39. 39.

    rawshark

    November 9, 2007 at 5:22 pm

    ArchPundit Says:

    He’s a prohibitive favorite for that seat.

    Well, until this broke.

    This won’t change his status as favorite. he’s saying what the clowns who listen to right wing radio or watch FOX News want to hear someone say. It sounds like something that makes sense and would work, at least to some it does. He’s saying what they want to hear and they’ll love him for it. (Great now I’m paraphrasing ‘senators’ from Gladiator, no wonder all these asshats think Hollywood’s liberal)

  40. 40.

    jcricket

    November 9, 2007 at 5:26 pm

    I think RedState is for people that think Red Dawn was real. And that they would be Patrick Swayze if it happened in real life.

  41. 41.

    fuddmain

    November 9, 2007 at 5:27 pm

    ArchPundit Says:

    In a phone interview, Schock’s manager Steve Shearer added that Schock’s proposal is “not just something that he pulled out of his pocket … It’s a deeply thought-out policy.”

    Should have said, “He was high on meth when he pulled that crazy shit out of his ass.”

  42. 42.

    Punchy

    November 9, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    He’s 26? Clearly he has a paint-by-numbers book to sell…

  43. 43.

    Dreggas

    November 9, 2007 at 5:59 pm

    Punchy Says:

    He’s 26? Clearly he has a paint-by-numbers book to sell…

    Clearly, his website demonstrates as much…

  44. 44.

    Zifnab

    November 9, 2007 at 6:05 pm

    I think RedState is for people that think Red Dawn was real. And that they would be Patrick Swayze if it happened in real life.

    The Republicans that have big Patrick Swayze posters hanging from their walls… are they the ones make all that noise in the bathroom?

  45. 45.

    jcricket

    November 9, 2007 at 6:07 pm

    OT, but:

    House Democrats on Friday pushed through an $80 billion bill to block the spread of a dreaded tax on middle-income people. The White House and Republicans, protesting tax increases in the bill affecting mainly investment fund managers, maintained that it would never become law.

    I do love the clear contrast in priorities between the parties. Republicans vigorously protest something because it might affect the income of investment fund managers – who will all DIE AND BE UNABLE TO FEED THEIR FAMILIES only earn $7 million instead of $8 million next year if the law passes. Oh, and these same investment managers might end up with effective tax rates that approach what people who make $100k/year pay.

    If people voted in their own economic self-interest (real, not perceived), Republicans would never get elected again.

  46. 46.

    Dennis-SGMM

    November 9, 2007 at 6:17 pm

    Clearly, the privileged tax status of investment fund managers must be protected. If not for them, billions of dollars’ worth of financial instruments based on sub-prime mortgages would be ricocheting around the financial system.

  47. 47.

    rawshark

    November 9, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    How should one counter the ‘if we tax them higher they’ll stop working hard’ argument when you know its being put forth by someone who is repeating what Rush said and doesn’t actually understand the argument? I face this stuff all the time and I don’t know how to explain this issue to someone who doesn’t already have the proper vocabulary. How do you combat truthiness?

  48. 48.

    dreggas

    November 9, 2007 at 7:09 pm

    rawshark Says:

    How should one counter the ‘if we tax them higher they’ll stop working hard’ argument when you know its being put forth by someone who is repeating what Rush said and doesn’t actually understand the argument? I face this stuff all the time and I don’t know how to explain this issue to someone who doesn’t already have the proper vocabulary. How do you combat truthiness?

    We have to tax them on wall street so we won’t have to tax them on Main st.

  49. 49.

    jake

    November 9, 2007 at 8:04 pm

    And that they would be Patrick Swayze if it happened in real life ^and they lost about 50 lbs, engaged in physical activities more strenuous than opening a fresh bag of Cheetos and somehow overcame their tendency to piss their pants at the very thought of danger.

    Fixed.

  50. 50.

    jcricket

    November 9, 2007 at 8:32 pm

    We have to tax them on wall street so we won’t have to tax them on Main st.

    I think you have to bite the bullet enough and only raise taxes on the very high end. Say “Republicans are irresponsible and they’ve overspent for years and years plunging our country into massive debt. And we, the Democrats are committed to keeping the country fiscally sound, your Social Security checks coming, etc.

    The only way to fix things is put taxes back where they were for people that make more than $500k. If you make $250k – $500k your tax bill will stay as it is now. If you make less than $200k, you’re getting a tax cut.”

    You can also further explain (when you need to) that you’re simply making it so people who make $500k are paying the same amount as people who make less – because we all know the effective tax rates are way lower than the advertised/marginal tax rates.

    Numbers aren’t that important, but you have to make the first tax increase at a high enough income level that pretty much no one can argue it hits them.

    Yes, idiot fuckwads like Jonah Goldberg, Powerline & Rush will still argue that it’s going to fuck the economy, but that won’t matter. You can easily spin “make less than $250k and you get a tax cut” positively for most people.

    Yes, I know it’s less simplistic than the fucking stupid-ass (I mean all these terms literally) sloganeering of the Republicans, but we can’t beat them on that front. The people that argue with a straight face that “Bush is a misunderstood genius” can’t be out-pandered.

    But we don’t have to be overly wonky or “perfect” in our attempts to right things. We always shoot the moon, allowing each interest group to get a little piece and diluting the key messages.

    Oh, btw, another key thing Dems need to do is take credit (deserved or not) for every economic good news/recovery that happens subsequent to the tax hike. Don’t call it a hike. Call it “tax fairness” or the “fair share act of 2008”

  51. 51.

    jcricket

    November 9, 2007 at 8:35 pm

    And that they would be Patrick Swayze if it happened in real life ^and they lost about 50 lbs, engaged in physical activities more strenuous than opening a fresh bag of Cheetos and somehow overcame their tendency to piss their pants at the very thought of danger.

    So they’re the Chris Farley of the classic SNL skit, then?

  52. 52.

    TenguPhule

    November 10, 2007 at 3:59 am

    I am highly disappointed that none of you thought of this first.

    In our defense Tim, none of us are that fucking stupid and/or insane except for Paul L, EEEL and that Prick that hangs with them.

    You can’t ask from us things that go beyond mere snark into the realm of outright lunacy.

  53. 53.

    Shalimar

    November 10, 2007 at 7:44 am

    Well, I didn’t think of that idiotic idea, but it is my idea to replace the Republican debates with a pay-per-view Torture competition, where each candidate brings 3 staff members and they take turns torturing each other’s staff members in any way they think is legal, last candidate with a staff member standing gets the Republican nomination.

    They could also charge $2k per household to see this spectacle and raise hundreds of millions for the winner, which would overcome their current fund-raising disadvantage and make the general election more of a contest. I can see several hundred thousand Republicans paying that much to see it, how often to they get to see real violence on live TV?

    Of course, the disadvantage to the idea is that Huckabee could use Chuck Norris as one of his three so the other candidates are going to have to come up with ringer staff members too. I think Republicans would probably prefer to see women and children victimized.

  54. 54.

    whatsleft

    November 10, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    Hey Shalimar – I think you’re really onto somethin’ there!

    Bread and circuses, bitches!

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