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You are here: Home / Politics / Just Curious…

Just Curious…

by Michael D.|  November 17, 200711:15 am| 130 Comments

This post is in: Politics

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If you were being waterboarded and you had to say you supported a particular Republican candidate, who would you vote for? (As an aside, I would personally rather deal with the waterboarding.)

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Reader Interactions

130Comments

  1. 1.

    Ugh

    November 17, 2007 at 11:23 am

    Romney.

  2. 2.

    Michael D.

    November 17, 2007 at 11:24 am

    Ugh: But only if you were being waterboarded and had to say SOMETHING right?

  3. 3.

    UnkyT

    November 17, 2007 at 11:26 am

    Ron Paul. Of course they would probably promote me to the rack at that point.

  4. 4.

    Equal Opportunity Cynic

    November 17, 2007 at 11:27 am

    I wouldn’t have to be waterboarded to support Ron Paul, but he’s not really a Republican in the 21st-century fascist sense.

    I guess I’d pick Huckabee or someone pretty unknown to enhance the November rout.

  5. 5.

    A different Matt

    November 17, 2007 at 11:28 am

    I wouldn’t worry about too many of the republicans. First off, I expect congress to be even more one sided in terms of public support, so it’d be nice schadenfraude to watch a republican have to deal with the animosity his predecessor has created.

    Frankly, I’d prefer to watch a republican president deal with a post Bush political culture than watch Hillary carry on Bush’s policies coupled with media-feeble democratic congress people and advisors. Sheesh.

    Also, no republican is going to elicit the support and confidence that Bush rode in on. So if democrats could win more congressional seats, and Hillary wins the Primary, I’d be perfectly happy to watch Rudy finish off the republican party.

  6. 6.

    ken

    November 17, 2007 at 11:30 am

    I would do a write in. It would be between Bloomberg or Schwarzenegger (if I could spell it, that is).

    Michael says: Ken, I corrected your spelling of Arnold’s name because I like your answer! :-)

  7. 7.

    Incertus (Brian)

    November 17, 2007 at 11:32 am

    General election or primary? Because there’s a difference. If it’s a primary election, I’m a Duncan Hunter supporter. If it’s the general election, I’m drowning.

  8. 8.

    canuckistani

    November 17, 2007 at 11:32 am

    I’d go for a write in for Neil Bush.
    Then the Democrats could run with Zombie Hitler/Zombie Trotsky and still win.

  9. 9.

    John Cole

    November 17, 2007 at 11:35 am

    Romney- an amoral, unprincipled technocrat is better than the assortment of xenophobes, authoritarians, and religious nuts that make up the rest of the field.

  10. 10.

    Ugh

    November 17, 2007 at 11:39 am

    I get waterboarded every saturday morning from 11 to 11:30. It’s just like fraternity hazing.

    I would have said Paul but was limiting myself to those who have a chance of winning.

    And John’s 11:35 gets it exactly right.

  11. 11.

    jake

    November 17, 2007 at 11:43 am

    Err, Michael? Did you drink all the beer at once?

    Huh. It’d have to be the one who would most hate the idea that someone like me used him to stop the torture. Oh, duh. Alan Keyes is in the race, isn’t he? I’d pick him.

    But I’d go past the Magical Three Minute Mark.

  12. 12.

    Thom

    November 17, 2007 at 11:43 am

    Chuck Hagel

  13. 13.

    KCinDC

    November 17, 2007 at 11:46 am

    … I’d be perfectly happy to watch Rudy finish off the republican party country.

    Fixed. Giuliani would be pretty near the bottom of my list. He could easily make Bush look good by comparison. He has the same sort of incomprehensible personality cult, he’s if anything more authoritarian and more into cronyism, and he might be more competent.

    I think I’d have to agree with John: Romney.

  14. 14.

    Dug Jay

    November 17, 2007 at 11:49 am

    Andrew Sullivan.

  15. 15.

    KCinDC

    November 17, 2007 at 11:50 am

    Wait, are we voting in the primary or the general? If the primary, it’s the usual tradeoff between wanting someone who can’t win and wanting someone who won’t be a disaster if by some chance he does. Things are weird enough that I’m finding it hard to predict, so I guess I wouldn’t risk voting for a wacko in the primary in the current environment (“wacko” being relative, since all the Republican candidates fit into that category at least to some extent).

  16. 16.

    wasabi gasp

    November 17, 2007 at 11:58 am

    {{GURGLE}}Four more{{GURGLE}}years!{{GURGLE}}Four more years!{{GURGLE}}

  17. 17.

    Equal Opportunity Cynic

    November 17, 2007 at 12:09 pm

    @KCinDC, A Different Matt:

    As Matt points out, with Rudy and a strongly Democratic Congress it’s a much different dynamic. The majority would give lots and lots of really strongly-worded speeches before caving in and giving Rudy whatever he wants.

  18. 18.

    diakron

    November 17, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    I would not need to be waterboarded to support Ron Paul. He’s got his shortcomings, but he’s much better, in my eyes, than any of the other Republicans (or Democrats).

  19. 19.

    ATS

    November 17, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    Oh Ron Paul—just to drive The Lobby batshit. Of course Hagel would serve just as well for that.

  20. 20.

    KCinDC

    November 17, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    EOC, you are correct, but it would be even worse than that because if Rudy is elected we won’t get a strongly Democratic Congress in the same election.

  21. 21.

    Dennis-SGMM

    November 17, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    Ron Paul, if only because he’s the sole candidate promising an immediate withdrawal from Iraq.

  22. 22.

    RSA

    November 17, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    I’d be perfectly happy to watch Rudy finish off the republican party.

    If this is the goal, I’ll cast my vote for Alan Keyes (who Wikipedia says is still in the race). He’d do it much more efficiently.

  23. 23.

    TenguPhule

    November 17, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    I’d vote for None of the Above.

    Hell, might as go with the majority. :P

  24. 24.

    Johnny Pez

    November 17, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    Ron Paul. He’s nuts, but he’s a qualitatively different variety of nuts than the rest of the goopsters. Plus, unlike Howard Dean, I think he really will run as an independent when he doesn’t get the nomination, and that would be a giggle.

  25. 25.

    Gold Star for Robot Boy

    November 17, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    I guess I’d pick Huckabee or someone pretty unknown to enhance the November rout.

    That’s like dropping dime on Dantooine while knowing full well the Rebels are gone – it’ll only make the Empire angrier.

  26. 26.

    enegim

    November 17, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    Romney- an amoral, unprincipled technocrat is better than the assortment of xenophobes, authoritarians, and religious nuts that make up the rest of the field.

    Uh, folks? Romney is an amoral, unprincipled technocrat AND an authoritarian religious nut. You don’t know me, but believe me: from somebody who lived through Romney’s tenure in Massachusetts, he’s MUCH worse than the media portrayal. (And he’s slick enough to get away with it, I fear.)

  27. 27.

    jcricket

    November 17, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    Romney- an amoral, unprincipled technocrat is better than the assortment of xenophobes, authoritarians, and religious nuts that make up the rest of the field.

    It’s a hard question, honestly. Romney for the same reasons you said.

    Huckabee is super likable and I’m all in favor of someone who seems humble (and lost all that weight – good for him). But his religious views are a total disqualifier, even moreso than Romney.

    I do find it ironic that Romney is being ousted from the race (in a sense) by the same Christianists he’s courting (running as the “christian candidate”). Being mormon is a liability I guess, when there’s an evangelical (Huckabee) in the race too.

    Guiliana is absolutely dead last. Behind Ron Paul. We can’t afford a monomaniacal control freak like Rudy with his finger on the button in these times. Reminds me of Sutler in V for Vendetta.

  28. 28.

    J

    November 17, 2007 at 1:24 pm

    Wouldn’t “George W. Bush, term limits be damned” be the only answer that would make them stop?

  29. 29.

    Jinchi

    November 17, 2007 at 1:27 pm

    Of course, Rudy would be doing the waterboarding, so the only way to get him to stop would be to vote Giuliani.

  30. 30.

    ThymeZone

    November 17, 2007 at 1:37 pm

    No, there is GOP candidate for whom I would vote under any circumstances. You’ll have to drown me, I am not picking one of those people.

  31. 31.

    Dreggas

    November 17, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    Drowning isn’t such a bad way to die. Could be worse, could be stabbed.

  32. 32.

    Brachiator

    November 17, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    Another write-in for Bloomberg here. My first choice would have been the Govinator, but Schwarzenegger, of course, is constitutionally ineligible to become president, and things of that nature.

    Romney- an amoral, unprincipled technocrat is better than the assortment of xenophobes, authoritarians, and religious nuts that make up the rest of the field.

    Romney reeks of craven desperation as he panders to conservatives, pretending to believe in everything that they want in order to achieve the presidency. Besides, hasn’t he in effect negated himself as a plausible candidate by renouncing practically every position that gained him his only electoral win as Massachusetts governor?

    Ron Paul. He’s nuts, but he’s a qualitatively different variety of nuts than the rest of the goopsters. Plus, unlike Howard Dean, I think he really will run as an independent when he doesn’t get the nomination, and that would be a giggle.

    If there is a pagan goddess ruling the heavens, she will make sure that Ron Paul runs as an independent and splits the GOP vote.

  33. 33.

    KCinDC

    November 17, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    If I thought that Huckabee would actually do anything about the incarceration crisis that he sometimes talks about, I might be willing to risk him despite his theocratic tendencies. It’s a huge problem, and it’s only going to get worse as new law enforcement powers are applied to the war on drugs and as the private prison industry grows in power.

  34. 34.

    ThymeZone

    November 17, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    Drowning isn’t such a bad way to die. Could be worse, could be stabbed.

    Hell yeah. You could be spoofed to death.

  35. 35.

    Robert Johnston

    November 17, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    If we’re talking about support in the primary, then my choice under those circumstances would be whoever has the best chance of beating Giuliani, a man whom no one can want anywhere near the levers of U.S. military power without hating the world and having an extreme death wish.

    If we’re talking about support in the general election, that’s something I’d be unable to do until my mind was completely broken, and I have no way of predicting now what I’d do in such an event.

  36. 36.

    CJ

    November 17, 2007 at 1:51 pm

    Alan Keyes. He has so many strikes against him that few Republicans would work with him. He’s black-see the Southern Strategy people forget to work with him or work for his re-election. He’s so incompetent and lazy he would do nothing for four years. Totally would wreck the Republican party after four years.

  37. 37.

    KG

    November 17, 2007 at 1:54 pm

    I’d probably say McCain, if only because he’s the closest thing to rational among the candidates. He at least understands the difference between strength and bravado. Too bad he’s been whipped so badly the last 7 years.

    I’m still registered as a Republican, and I honestly have no idea who I am going to vote for… I kind of miss the old days, when the nomination was won before the California primary.

  38. 38.

    KCinDC

    November 17, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    Brachiator, I wouldn’t be so sure about Paul’s effects. There are far too many people on the left side who completely ignore everything else about him and like him simply because of his position on the war.

  39. 39.

    r€nato

    November 17, 2007 at 1:57 pm

    John Cole makes a good point re: Romney, but – and I’m assuming that Michael D. meant we had to choose from the official GOP field and not any write-in candidates – I’d pick Ron Paul.

    Let’s have a referendum on REAL conservative values. The rest of the pack are just right-wing authoritarians with little relation to classic conservatism.

    I would really, really like Americans to understand that we do indeed have a mixed economy – largely capitalist, but with some socialism tossed in the mix – and that socialism is not necessarily evil. In fact, we’re soaking in it.

    Try taking away American’s Social Security and Medicare and unemployment insurance and S-CHIP and so on. Go ahead, Ron Paul. Show them what real conservatism is: a compassionless, dog-eat-dog society.

  40. 40.

    K-Lo

    November 17, 2007 at 1:57 pm

    Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! He’s so dreamy!

  41. 41.

    Tim F.

    November 17, 2007 at 2:03 pm

    Cthulu. Why choose the lesser of two evils?

  42. 42.

    r€nato

    November 17, 2007 at 2:04 pm

    I ♥ You, Tim F.

  43. 43.

    George B.

    November 17, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    Lincoln.

  44. 44.

    PaulW

    November 17, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    Reagan. Reagan. Ronald Reagan. Reagan Reagan Reagan. A cyborg Reagan clone with heat vision, superstrength and the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

    ‘Cause it’s all about living up to Ronald Reagan’s legacy. Reagan Reagan Reagan.

  45. 45.

    andante

    November 17, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! He’s so dreamy!

    …and don’t forget those shoulders!

    I would ask for last rites and vote for the Democrat.

  46. 46.

    Dennis-SGMM

    November 17, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    Reagan. Reagan. Ronald Reagan. Reagan Reagan Reagan. A cyborg Reagan clone with heat vision, superstrength and the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

    ‘Cause it’s all about living up to Ronald Reagan’s legacy. Reagan Reagan Reagan.

    Republicans today are no Ronald Reagan – and neither was he.

  47. 47.

    Robert Johnston

    November 17, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    Cthulu. Why choose the lesser of two evils?

    Have you seen the Republican field? Are you sure Cthulu’s the greater evil? Seems more middle of the pack to me.

  48. 48.

    maxbaer (not the original)

    November 17, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    Of course, he’s not running. But, I’ll send a little love out to Walter Jones.

  49. 49.

    Keith

    November 17, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    If I was being waterboarded, I’d be more interested in beating KSM’s record than voting for a Republican in ’08, but I guess if I had to choose, I’d go with Guiliani. He kinda scares me with regards to going to war much more than the other main candidates.

  50. 50.

    Brachiator

    November 17, 2007 at 2:38 pm

    I wouldn’t be so sure about Paul’s effects. There are far too many people on the left side who completely ignore everything else about him and like him simply because of his position on the war.

    Excellent point, although I still think that an independent Paul candidacy would hurt the GOP more than it would actually propel him into the White House.

  51. 51.

    capelza

    November 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm

    My first choice would have been the Govinator, but Schwarzenegger, of course, is constitutionally ineligible to become president, and things of that nature.

    But you are being waterboarded, of course you’d give them any name…and it would have to be accepted, because we all know waterboarding is like a truth serum. People never make stuff up to get it to stop.

  52. 52.

    Dreggas

    November 17, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    ThymeZone Says:

    Drowning isn’t such a bad way to die. Could be worse, could be stabbed.

    Hell yeah. You could be spoofed to death.

    Spoofing? Spoofing takes seconds, waterboarding last hours it’s a slow ‘orrible death!

  53. 53.

    Dreggas

    November 17, 2007 at 2:58 pm

    Tim F. Says:

    Cthulu. Why choose the lesser of two evils?

    He’s my candidate Dammit I even have the t-shirt which I lifted that line from :P

  54. 54.

    Bob In Pacifica

    November 17, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    Alicia Keyes.

  55. 55.

    JR

    November 17, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    If I was being waterboarded, I’d say whichever candidate the guy waterboarding me wanted me to say.

    That’s what waterboarding is for, after all: getting you to say what they want to hear, truth be damned.

  56. 56.

    jake

    November 17, 2007 at 3:31 pm

    Cthulu. Why choose the lesser of two evils?

    Cthulu/Voldemort ’08!

    You’d just need to alter the t-shirts a little.

    If something sucked out the Base’s brains or put them under the Imperius curse … would anyone notice the difference? Would they notice?

  57. 57.

    mitch

    November 17, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    McCain. He’s the only one that sounds rational during debates, and the only one that’s either not pandering ALL THE TIME (a la Romney), not a crackpot (a la Giuliani), not a Baptist minister (a la Huckabee—although I gotta say he seems like a pretty likeable guy and his speeches are well delivered, just don’t agree with his beliefs), and not lazy (a la Thomson—although I’m a lazy bastard, so maybe he’s not so bad).

  58. 58.

    jcricket

    November 17, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    Have you seen the Republican field? Are you sure Cthulu’s the greater evil? Seems more middle of the pack to me.

    Good one! Which circle of hell are we in now?

    And Bloomberg and the Governator aren’t even Republicans. There’s not a single thing the Governator is doing that could remotely be described of as Republican (and I don’t just mean with the current party platform, but basically for the last 20-30 years). Both ran as Republicans in very liberal places to get elected. Bloomberg even switched party allegiances a couple of times (from Dem to Repub, now to independent).

  59. 59.

    calipygian

    November 17, 2007 at 3:52 pm

    I wouldn’t vote for a fucking Republican if Dubya were giving me a good old fashioned, John Yoo-style testicle crushing with Dick Cheney’s blunderbuss stuck up my ass.

  60. 60.

    Dreggas

    November 17, 2007 at 4:06 pm

    Robert Johnston Says:

    Have you seen the Republican field? Are you sure Cthulu’s the greater evil? Seems more middle of the pack to me.

    The Great Lord Cthulu would suck out what brains remained within the republicans heads and leave them mad thus proving he was better.

  61. 61.

    r€nato

    November 17, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    Fortunately for you, calipygian, we now have Diebold voting machines which will do your voting for you.

  62. 62.

    jake

    November 17, 2007 at 4:11 pm

    The best course of action would be to declare one’s undying fealty to Cheney.
    Heed the cock!

  63. 63.

    Rick Taylor

    November 17, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    McCain I think. Only because he opposes torture and isn’t a complete ideological extremist like Ron Paul. That is an extremely low bar, and I’m honestly shocked there isn’t someone in the party I could give more support to. McCain has made so many odd stumbles and mis-steps I wonder if he isn’t getting too old for the job. I chose Romney earlier as the one who looked to be the most competent, but his boasts he’d double Guantanamo and his shameless commercial playing on American’s fears have been too much. Being unprincipled is a point in his favor though; I’d be far more alarmed if I thought he was sincere.

    Which brings up Giuliani. I’ve noticed that no matter how bad a Republican Presidential candidate seems at the time, I invariably look back on them wistfully when I see their successor. Giuliani is the one person I think could make me look back oddly on the younger George Bush.

  64. 64.

    Tara the anti-social social worker

    November 17, 2007 at 4:28 pm

    Dan Quayle, just for the fun of seeing him misspell his name on the write-in ballot.

  65. 65.

    cleek

    November 17, 2007 at 4:46 pm

    doesn’t matter which one i pick, since my one vote will never, ever, be the deciding factor in who wins the presidency.

    so, Rudy: he’s the craziest of them all.

  66. 66.

    Z

    November 17, 2007 at 4:53 pm

    The Great Lord Cthulu would suck out what brains remained within the republicans heads and leave them mad thus proving he was better.

    This had already occurred by the time they started running. Just look at their proposals. That is why I would have to be waterboarded to vote for any of them but Ron Paul(that would just require Kucinich to be the democratic nominee).

  67. 67.

    Jody

    November 17, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    And, with a simple, hypothetical question, Michael D. tears Patterico’s entire premise asunder, leaving naught but a blackened spot on the sidewalk and faint, lingering aroma.

    And Patterico? He appears to have turned into a fedora floating in a puddle of pee.

  68. 68.

    sal

    November 17, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    I’d take waterboarding. Both are torture, but only one lasts four years.

  69. 69.

    Dreggas

    November 17, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    Z Says:

    The Great Lord Cthulu would suck out what brains remained within the republicans heads and leave them mad thus proving he was better.

    This had already occurred by the time they started running. Just look at their proposals. That is why I would have to be waterboarded to vote for any of them but Ron Paul(that would just require Kucinich to be the democratic nominee).

    No see that’s just the MADNESS setting in. When The Great Lord rises he will suck out their brains.

  70. 70.

    Robert Johnston

    November 17, 2007 at 5:30 pm

    Dreggas Says:

    Robert Johnston Says:

    Have you seen the Republican field? Are you sure Cthulu’s the greater evil? Seems more middle of the pack to me.

    The Great Lord Cthulu would suck out what brains remained within the republicans heads and leave them mad thus proving he was better.

    I’m pretty sure that feeding the brain of Tom Tancredo to Cthulu is generally agreed to be the only safe way of actually killing either one of them.

  71. 71.

    douglasfactors

    November 17, 2007 at 5:31 pm

    I live in DC, where the Democrats are guaranteed at least 85% of the vote, so I’ll support any candidate if that will save me from simulated drowning.

    Hell, I might vote for a Republican anyway, just to be sarcastic.

  72. 72.

    Cuzco

    November 17, 2007 at 5:38 pm

    Ted Nugent

  73. 73.

    Bombadil

    November 17, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    When they started pouring the water, I’d inhale it.

  74. 74.

    Gus

    November 17, 2007 at 6:01 pm

    Tom Tancredo.It’s what this fucked up country deserves.

  75. 75.

    ChristieS

    November 17, 2007 at 6:13 pm

    Brachiator Says:
    …
    If there is a pagan goddess ruling the heavens, she will make sure that Ron Paul runs as an independent and splits the GOP vote.

    Heh…that sounds more like Loki’s bailiwick…or Coyote.

  76. 76.

    Psycheout

    November 17, 2007 at 6:15 pm

    As an aside, I would personally rather deal with the waterboarding.

    Thanks for at least being honest. You just proved the opposite of the point you wanted to make. Waterboarding isn’t torture. Well done.

  77. 77.

    Psycheout

    November 17, 2007 at 6:20 pm

    If I thought that Huckabee would actually do anything about the incarceration crisis that he sometimes talks about, I might be willing to risk him despite his theocratic tendencies.

    Well he did get a rapist paroled, if that helps. The rapist then went on to murder a woman. Yeah, Huck’s awsome.

  78. 78.

    Psycheout

    November 17, 2007 at 6:25 pm

    Oh, and I’d write in Sam Brownback. That’s the only thing that would make sense.

    If I had to pick a current candidate, it might be McCain, although he’s far from ideal. He’s certainly better than megalomaniac Rudy and Slick Mittens. Those two creatures make me want to vomit.

  79. 79.

    PeterJ

    November 17, 2007 at 6:26 pm

    I’m not really that sure about Giuliani’s chances if he would win the republican primary. Too many scandals plus all the questions about him and 9/11. You could run one new negative ad every day and you would still have enough to last all the way up to election day.

  80. 80.

    Off Colfax

    November 17, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    The 11:59a comment had it right.

    wasabi gasp Says:

    {{GURGLE}}Four more{{GURGLE}}years!{{GURGLE}}Four more years!{{GURGLE}}

    That is the only responsible answer that will allow you to live to see daylight. Of course, whether or not you will turn around and swallow your own shotgun immediately after seeing daylight is still a matter for debate.

    But as for me… It would depend on whether or not Clinton44 got the nod on the other side of the aisle. If she wins, I’m either voting Libertarian or moving to Scotland.

  81. 81.

    Oilivia Dehavoline

    November 17, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    After confessing that I had conspired with John Wilkes Booth, tossed the bomb at Haymarket, kidnapped the Lindbergh baby and masterminded the anthrax attack I suspect that I’d vote for McCain, out of a sense of overwhelming empathy.

  82. 82.

    Svensker

    November 17, 2007 at 6:53 pm

    Giuliani is the one person I think could make me look back oddly on the younger George Bush.

    If you’re going to look back on GB the Younger, I’d hope you were going to do it oddly.

    (And Psycheout, the reason for saying you’d choose waterboarding over any of the Repubs is that they’re all torture, the zombies running for Preznit perhaps worse than the technique. It was humorous. But people who don’t think that waterboarding is torture don’t seem big on any of the senses — common, good, moral, or humor.)

  83. 83.

    Rick Taylor

    November 17, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    Giuliani is the one person I think could make me look back oddly on the younger George Bush.

    *blushes* That should have been fondly. Though maybe oddly works as well.

  84. 84.

    Rick Taylor

    November 17, 2007 at 7:11 pm

    I’m not really that sure about Giuliani’s chances if he would win the republican primary. Too many scandals plus all the questions about him and 9/11. You could run one new negative ad every day and you would still have enough to last all the way up to election day.

    I was convinced George Bush couldn’t win the general election after the primaries. He had such an abysmal record, and was so obviously incompetent for the job (rewatch the first Bush Gore debate). So I just don’t know.

  85. 85.

    Johnny Pez

    November 17, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    You just proved the opposite of the point you wanted to make. Waterboarding isn’t torture.

    Nah, he’s just saying that voting Republican is even worse torture than waterboarding.

    You need to work on either your sense of humor or your reading comprehension skills. Or both.

  86. 86.

    patrick

    November 17, 2007 at 7:55 pm

    I would draft Dick Cheney, but I am pretty sure the constitution prevents him from serving another term as president.

  87. 87.

    Robert Johnston

    November 17, 2007 at 7:56 pm

    Johnny Pez Says:

    You just proved the opposite of the point you wanted to make. Waterboarding isn’t torture.

    Nah, he’s just saying that voting Republican is even worse torture than waterboarding.

    But voting Republican isn’t torturing yourself; it’s inflicting torture on everyone else.

  88. 88.

    The Other Steve

    November 17, 2007 at 7:57 pm

    Ok, I confess! I confess! I was the third gunman on the grassy knoll.

  89. 89.

    craigie

    November 17, 2007 at 8:04 pm

    If she wins, I’m either voting Libertarian or moving to Scotland.

    No take-backs. I want to see you do either one of these things, or better still, both.

    Run away. There’s nothing worse than a slightly Right-of-center politician who is competent and intelligent. That would really wreck the country.

  90. 90.

    Aaron

    November 17, 2007 at 8:37 pm

    In order:

    1. More waterboarding.
    2. I regret that I have only one life to give in the service of my country.
    3. Give me liberty or give me death.
    4. Ron Paul.
    5. Romney.

  91. 91.

    fishbane

    November 17, 2007 at 9:07 pm

    Rumsfeld. Now that would be funny.

  92. 92.

    jcricket

    November 17, 2007 at 9:21 pm

    But voting Republican isn’t torturing yourself; it’s inflicting torture on everyone else.

    It is, in this day and age, a perverse form of self-loathing for anyone who is not a blindingly rich white Christian person to vote Republican. Either that or some people just enjoy being raped in the federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison Bush has turned the country into.

  93. 93.

    jcricket

    November 17, 2007 at 9:24 pm

    1. More waterboarding.
    2. I regret that I have only one life to give in the service of my country.
    3. Give me liberty or give me death.
    4. Death
    5. More death
    6-10. Lingering painful death
    11. Tied to rock while eagles rip out intestines for eternity
    12-97. Eternal damnation, hellfire, brimstone
    98. 5 more seasons of “Beverly Hills, 90210”

    99. Ron Paul.
    100. Romney.

    Just fixing it for my list.

  94. 94.

    Tara the anti-social social worker

    November 17, 2007 at 9:45 pm

    “I’m pretty sure that feeding the brain of Tom Tancredo to Cthulu is generally agreed to be the only safe way of actually killing either one of them.”

    Word.

    Out of the curent crop, I suppose McCain is the least awful. His pandering to the far right is embarrassing, but it would stop after the election (since Dobson and Robertson already hate him), and he actaully does oppose torture. I still can’t quite believe that’s an issue with “sides” in the United States of America.

  95. 95.

    Mr. Sifter

    November 17, 2007 at 9:47 pm

    Huckabee: I think he is by far the most progressive on economic issues among the Republicans.

  96. 96.

    ThymeZone

    November 17, 2007 at 10:27 pm

    Waterboarding is not torture.

    I think it is.

  97. 97.

    Tara the anti-social social worker

    November 17, 2007 at 10:52 pm

    “Of course, Rudy would be doing the waterboarding, so the only way to get him to stop would be to vote Giuliani.”

    If he’s doing it for fun, sure. But if it’s during the debate, they’ll be taking turns.

  98. 98.

    KCinDC

    November 17, 2007 at 11:01 pm

    Cthulhu isn’t going to be happy when It finds that you’ve been misspelling Its name.

  99. 99.

    tBone

    November 17, 2007 at 11:12 pm

    Out of the curent crop, I suppose McCain is the least awful. His pandering to the far right is embarrassing, but it would stop after the election (since Dobson and Robertson already hate him), and he actaully does oppose torture. I still can’t quite believe that’s an issue with “sides” in the United States of America.

    Despite having lost virtually every shred of respect I had for McCain over the past few years, he’d probably be my pick also, if I couldn’t manage to drown during the waterboarding. I think he does have some actual principles, even though he’s been viciously suppressing them in order to play Don Quixote.

    The rest of the Republican field is so mind-numbingly awful that I wouldn’t trust them to run a lemonade stand. They’d probably end up lemonadeboarding any suspicous-looking kids in the neighborhood and then use that intel to justify preemptive invasions of nearby towns.

  100. 100.

    demimondian

    November 18, 2007 at 12:26 am

    Honestly? If I were waterboarded, I would say whatever my torturers wanted me to say to get the drowning to stop.

    If they told me that I needed to promise to vote for Tom Tancredo, then I’d promise to vote for Tom Tancredo.

  101. 101.

    bernarda

    November 18, 2007 at 7:33 am

    Hedging my bets, I would go for Huckabee. Then when Jeebus comes back during his term because a “real” xian is in the White House I could point that out so he wouldn’t send me to fire and brimstone.

  102. 102.

    ATS

    November 18, 2007 at 8:50 am

    If only Holy Joe would exit gracefully, we might have a first lady named Hadasa Huckabee.

  103. 103.

    ATS

    November 18, 2007 at 8:50 am

    If only Holy Joe would exit gracefully, we might have a first lady named Hadasa Huckabee.

  104. 104.

    John's Minions

    November 18, 2007 at 10:26 am

    ia! ia! Fthagn Tancredo!

  105. 105.

    DougJ

    November 18, 2007 at 10:49 am

    Romney- an amoral, unprincipled technocrat is better than the assortment of xenophobes, authoritarians, and religious nuts that make up the rest of the field.

    You’ve nailed it. My sentiments exactly.

  106. 106.

    Tom G.

    November 18, 2007 at 4:03 pm

    In case anyone wasn’t already aware – Ron Paul.
    I’ve said it before.
    His only downside is that if he actually wins, he might bring back the Republicans to a semblance of respectability – and yes, thats a serious statement made with thought.

  107. 107.

    FDRLincoln

    November 18, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    Hmm…..

    Comes down to Romney or McCain. Either of them would be preferrable to the lunatic Rudy.

    Pro-McCain Reasons: opposes torture and has a few tiny shreds of national honor somewhere buried in his mind. Occasionally willing to listen to Democrats on some domestic issues.
    Anti-McCain Reasons: Getting old. Let the far right push him around too much the last few years.
    Pro-Romney Reasons: Seems semi-smart and more competent than the rest of them. Technocratic expertise in running a government.
    Anti-Romney Reasons: “Double Gitmo”. Utterly amoral, will say or do anything. Unlikely to end torture.

    I suppose I’d go with McCain.

  108. 108.

    demimondian

    November 18, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    His only downside is that if he actually wins, he might bring back the Republicans to a semblance of respectability

    Thought, perhaps, but, really, not much knowledge of his real record. Paul’s every bit as nauseating as any of the other candidates.

  109. 109.

    JWW

    November 18, 2007 at 7:00 pm

    I think, just maybe a Craig. That way you would give up your ass and stupid questions. If you want too remain stupid, I say, “Keep Up the Good Work”.

    Flunky

  110. 110.

    jake

    November 18, 2007 at 7:20 pm

    Thought, perhaps, but, really, not much knowledge of his real record. Paul’s every bit as nauseating as any of the other candidates.

    Bu-but according to the Paulitarians in the comments, it’s not fair to judge him by his voting record!

    And anyway, everyone will be so happy when they’re living in Paultopia. Provided you don’t count the ones who aren’t Caucasian, heterosexual males.

    DO NOT WANT.

  111. 111.

    grumpy realist

    November 18, 2007 at 7:21 pm

    Ron Paul or McCain for me. I think both of them realize exactly how much danger our civil liberties are in and both are pretty much anti-torture.

    The one who scares me the most? Giuliani. A “little man in search of a balcony” indeed.

  112. 112.

    JWW

    November 18, 2007 at 7:23 pm

    On the Up and Up,

    Waterboarding, pretty mild, a mind thrill if you like. Hell we have sex addict’s that go through more trama. Torture, define it? Really, define it? Is watching your sons throat slit torture, maybe having your daughter raped in front of you, having nails driven through your balls, a threaded ice pick screwed through your armpit to the shoulder. Whine as you may, very few of you would suggest other when one of your family members were on the line.

    You limp when you walk, you howl like a dog when you here a siren, you would sue McDonalds for selling you a hot cup of coffee.

  113. 113.

    JWW

    November 18, 2007 at 7:51 pm

    Grumpy,

    I have read many of your responses in the past, are you getting meaner with age. I don’t really care for Rudy but, hasn’t every major city in America allowed a street thug/gang too distinguish itself with a title and territory. I will tell you how this came about. Bill Clinton gave them an identity and territory. He forced, the federal government too negotiate with them, “give them names, territories, pride”. Rudy, at least tried too force the rats from the street. Also, the rats he tried too remove, had a 100 year head start.

  114. 114.

    p.lukasiak

    November 18, 2007 at 7:59 pm

    Ron Paul….

    90% of the stuff that is good about him he can do without congress (like get us out of Iraq, and restore the constitution.)

    90% of his stuff that is brain-dead needs legislation to happen…and not even the GOP is ready for a return to the Gold Standard.

  115. 115.

    mitch

    November 18, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    I see Huckabee’s released this pretty funny ad. As I said above, he seems to be a likeable guy, but just can’t get around his beliefs…

  116. 116.

    ThymeZone

    November 18, 2007 at 8:42 pm

    he seems to be a likeable guy, but just can’t get around his beliefs…

    I don’t see a connection between being a superstitious lunatic, and being likeable. Or between any pathology, and being likeable.

    Therefore, why would anyone consider “likeability” relevant to any candidate?

  117. 117.

    jake

    November 18, 2007 at 8:47 pm

    90% of his stuff that is brain-dead needs legislation to happen…and not even the GOP is ready for a return to the Gold Standard.

    Sure, and if you made that argument seven years ago I’d be inclined to agree. So the GOP’s not ready for a return to the Gold Standard? Fine. But they’re always ready for a return to the SoCon Standard.

    Ready for the rest of us to return at least. They like to watch.

  118. 118.

    JWW

    November 18, 2007 at 10:03 pm

    Is it possible?

    That any candidate from either side can give you what you see as Utopia. You seem void for common knowlede and further from common sense. Name and why any one of these candidates from either side are worth voting for? If you want too change, impose Senate and Congress term limits. They are beyond corrupt, they are the well paid evil of our country.

  119. 119.

    Chris Johnson

    November 18, 2007 at 10:15 pm

    OK, here’s another slant…

    Ron Paul.

    Because _we_ are already fucked, but he’s the one guy from either party whom I think would be least likely to continue to wreak world havoc as this country dies. I think he’d go all isolationist, which wouldn’t do us any good but at least the rest of the world would get a chance to try and put the shattered bits together without us raising more hell.

    I’m expecting to vote Hillary. I wish I could be as confident SHE won’t play mini-Bush. I am fairly confident she wouldn’t do so as stupidly, but I really would rather we simply stop smashing countries, regardless of the consequences.

    I’m pretty sure Ron Paul is the only guy I can really trust to do that, because he’s crazy and won’t listen to the thousands of excuses for continuing this sort of foreign policy. With the others like Hillary or even Obama, it’s more a matter of having to trust that they would CHOOSE not to be monsters for the sake of retaining the empire one more year or decade. I’m sorry, but I don’t trust any of those people to do that. With the Clintons at least I can count on their using diplomatic pressure and scheming cleverly, not just using force. It might buy us a couple years and at least they wouldn’t be attempting that ‘flight forward’ madness.

  120. 120.

    JWW

    November 18, 2007 at 10:43 pm

    Michael D.

    Since you arrived, you have brought nothing. You bring the basic’s in asshole suggestion. You have no thought, no conviction, not even a first step in which too climb. Your posts are nothing but a premise too draw ire, ire from those who can’t think for themselves, those who need to be lead, for they can’t fathom free thinking. You are the National Inquirer of the site.

    John,

    Find somebody with a mind, a thought process, maybe just one basic morale value. This guy is nothing other than basic trash. He gets mass responses in course “BullShit 101″. Everyone wants too join because, ” You Can’t Fail”, no matter how you respond, you gat an “A”.

  121. 121.

    Delia

    November 18, 2007 at 11:38 pm

    Waterboarding, pretty mild, a mind thrill if you like.

    Excuse me, you seem to have waterboarding confused with going down the big, twisty slide at the water park. Or maybe you’ve just been watching too many of the Gooper debates, since all of them except McCain (and I guess Ron Paul, whom they all try to ignore) seem to suffer from the same mental disability.

    Last I checked with the people who actually know stuff, waterboarding is a form of slow death by drowning, which, if not interrupted, leads to, you know, like, ACTUAL DYING. So unless you’re severely masochistic, I’d say it qualifies as real, authentic torture, one among many creative possibilities.

    As for Gooper picks. Well, even though he’s totally nuts on things like the gold standard, and other things, the others are worse, and I’m a sucker for a man who respects the Constitution, so I’ll go with Ron Paul.

  122. 122.

    Rick Taylor

    November 19, 2007 at 12:37 am

    FDRLincoln:

    Comes down to Romney or McCain. Either of them would be preferrable to the lunatic Rudy.

    Wow, I pretty much agree with every word in your post.

  123. 123.

    mclaren

    November 19, 2007 at 8:26 am

    My choice?

    Caligula as a write-in candidate.

    He’s got the qualifications! He’s hard-core. He’s not afraid to get tough. He’ll appoint a horse as Senator! He’ll even cut his pregnant sister open and eat the foetus! You think any Islamofascist will mess with a guy like that?

    Caligula for Republican President in ’08. He’s rotting…he’s rested..he’s ready!

  124. 124.

    Evinfuilt

    November 19, 2007 at 9:03 am

    McCain, because at least it will end after he’s in.

  125. 125.

    Ron

    November 19, 2007 at 9:55 am

    Ron Paul because he’s the only one that who doesn’t care whether the Dobsons or Robertsons of the world endorse him and he’s the only one that doesn’t want to wage war against Muslim countries forever and ever.

  126. 126.

    demimondian

    November 19, 2007 at 11:05 am

    mclaren FTW:

    Caligula as a write-in candidate.

    He’s got the qualifications! He’s hard-core. He’s not afraid to get tough. He’ll appoint a horse as Senator!

    A true modern Republican!

    After all, Bush appointed someone who studied horses’ asses as director of FEMA, so he comes pretty close, and Giuliani tried to get a true horse’s ass appointed as head of DHS.

  127. 127.

    Tax Analyst

    November 19, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    JWW Says:

    On the Up and Up,

    Waterboarding, pretty mild, a mind thrill if you like. Hell we have sex addict’s that go through more trama. Torture, define it? Really, define it? Is watching your sons throat slit torture, maybe having your daughter raped in front of you, having nails driven through your balls, a threaded ice pick screwed through your armpit to the shoulder. Whine as you may, very few of you would suggest other when one of your family members were on the line.

    You limp when you walk, you howl like a dog when you here a siren, you would sue McDonalds for selling you a hot cup of coffee.

    Well, there it is. JWW would be my write-in choice. A REAL MAN willing to waterboard any and every suspicious swarthy character if he has wants to and then let the innocent Wimper & Howl Like Dogs and then limp over to McDonald’s, where he would have scalding hot coffee poured on them for good measure.

    Hey, maybe you could use the scalding hot coffee instead of water when you torture aggressively interrogate them. Naw, only a sissy would waterboard a suspected Islamofascist with a latte.

    There’s a guy to make us all super-proud to be Amerikans.

  128. 128.

    jenniebee

    November 19, 2007 at 3:34 pm

    Sometimes I find them, sometimes they find me.

  129. 129.

    Ken

    November 19, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    JWW Says:
    Waterboarding, pretty mild, a mind thrill if you like.

    Indeed – not much worse than a bad slide down the log flume. What all these liberal pussies don’t seem to realize is that it’s actually good for you – like an enema for your mouth. You go, JWW – speak truth to power.

  130. 130.

    JWW

    November 19, 2007 at 8:39 pm

    Tax Analyst,

    I suggest you stick with taxes, or maybe graduate to the not quite so stupid. Being a “Tax Analyst” requires no formal education, just a skill set of current regulations. No shitter, you are truely 1 in 100,000,000 looking to make a living off somebody elses money. Only thing is, you don’t need to be smart{in relative terms}, just own a PC with the right links.

    Maybe you should become a lawyer. Read the McDonalds case, asswipe. You would get nothing but a swift kick in the ass, for being stupid.

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