Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

No Kings: Americans standing in the way of bad history saying “Oh, Fuck No!”

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

“Alexa, change the president.”

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

The revolution will be supervised.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Previous Site Maintenance / Happy Thanksgiving: Open Thread

Reader Interactions

34Comments

  5. 5.

    demimondian

    Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

    (And Michael: don’t take that page too literally. The health suggestions the author makes are good ones — although I disobey every one of them — but the nonsense about “sealing the bird” is an old wives’ tale. If you want crisp skin on the turkey, use a kitchen torch or a hot air gun instead.)

  6. 6.

    Mary

    That recipe looks good, but if you love stuffing, put it under the breast skin instead of the butter and herbs. Make sure it’s a layer about an inch thick. This shields the breast, allowing it to stay moist while it cooks at about the same rate as the legs. I have never had to baste a bird since I started doing this ten years ago. Plus, you get stuffing stuck to the crispy skin — yum!

  9. 9.

    Michael D.

    That recipe looks good, but if you love stuffing, put it under the breast skin instead of the butter and herbs.

    Now see? Who says you can’t get good advice from people sitting around in their pajamas!?

    I’ve already got the turkey on, but I am DEFINITELY trying this one next year!

    The only thing I refuse to do is fry a turkey. I’ve tried other peoples’. I hate it.

  10. 10.

    Keith

    I picked up the notion of separating the skin from the meat via Peking Duck. These days, I like to go so far as rub garlic under the skin and then pour black truffle oil into it in addition to the butter. Works for chicken, too (but it’s got more delicate skin)
    To this day, I’ve never had deep fried turkey, and I always seem to miss chances at having it. Closest I’ve had is deep-fried cornish hen.

  11. 11.

    demimondian

    If you want something exotic — and guaranteed to impress the partner — bone the turkey before you cook it. It takes some practice, but removing the tendons in the drumsticks, in particular, is both hilarious to watch (I use sterilized ViseGrips, for those of you who are wondering) and a means to produce a lot of extra dark meat.

    Also, you wind up with a more consistently cooked bird, more succulent breast meat, and a shorter cooking time.

  13. 13.

    Zifnab

    The only thing I refuse to do is fry a turkey. I’ve tried other peoples’. I hate it.

    Ye gods, I’d only want to do that if I planned to count my future Thanksgivings on one hand.

    I’m personally partial to smoked turkey, but I’ve never figured out how to do it myself right. We’re just roasting ours, the old fashioned way.

    With a big helping of pumpkin pie. Mmmm…. pie.

  15. 15.

    jcricket

    For next year, I heartily recommend a “smoked turkey” from Greenberg’s (in Texas). You order by fax or mail and they ship it to you. All you gotta do is reheat.

    It’s fantastic and no work. Go here and get your order form for.

    Can’t recommend it enough (made our thanksgiving loads easier for the last couple of years, and my wife still loves cooking all the other stuff).

  16. 16.

    jcricket

    You can also order one for your ChristmaHannaKwannzukah feast if you’d prefer to try it before next Thanksgiving.

    No, I don’t work there. Just a satisfied customer.

  17. 17.

    jcricket

    Mmmmm veggie lasagna.

    Hey you celebrate your way and I’ll celebrate mine :)

    Who let the fucking Canadians in here?!?

    Unamerican vegetable lovers.

  18. 18.

    Keith

    Where did my appetite go? I had it right here with me just a moment ago

    It’s pretty damn good, really. Heavily spice (and even flour) the skin, and dunk in peanut oil for 10 minutes, and it’s fried chicken on the bone.

    And as an interesting trivia note, the rooster has sex with all of ’em.

  20. 20.

    Mary

    Now see? Who says you can’t get good advice from people sitting around in their pajamas!?

    #blushes and changes into jeans and a sweater#

    Seriously, the “shove stuff under poultry breast skin” works in all kinds of ways.

    – A quick version for the Sunday chicken: sweat some mirepoix (onions, garlic, celery, maybe some carrots, peppers or mushrooms) and add some sage and rosemary. Stuff it under the skin AFTER it cools.
    – Thinly sliced raw onions and BBQ or hoisin sauce.
    – Bacon
    – Mashed sweet potatoes
    – Any kind of cooked rice dish (white, brown, wild, whatever)

    Moisture, some fat and a lot of flavour are all you need.

  21. 21.

    BIRDZILLA

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING and if the wussietards from PETA,PCRM and CSPI dont like it then LET THEM EAT ACORNS AND SAWDUST

  23. 23.

    Krista

    demimondian Says:

    If you want something exotic—and guaranteed to impress the partner—bone the turkey before you cook it.

    Pervert.

  25. 25.

    Krista

    Honi soit qui mal y pense.

    Pfft… With a perfect opening like that? Comme on fait son lit, on se couche, mon ami?

  27. 27.

    Mary

    Oh, come on. A turkey orifice is not a perfect opening unless you’re packing like King Kong.

    Hostie!

  28. 28.

    jcricket

    Oh, come on. A turkey orifice is not a perfect opening unless you’re packing like King Kong.

    And… g’night folks! Don’t forget to tip your waitress. We’ll be here all week!

  29. 29.

    capelza

    Went to the store last night..late I know, but wasn’t really feeling the Thanksgiving thing…and I was right. All the two menfolk currently at home are gone golfing all day and…sigh..here I am in the kitchen.

    But anyway…it was decided we’d do ham. Only one ham in the whole store and it was 41.00, but I spied out of the corner of my eye a crown of pork…so I go look at it. Originally priced 52.00+, it was marked down to 22.15!!!! 11 plus lbs of beautiful (and sinful to me) pork in the best cut EVAH. Someone had ordered it and reniged apparantly. I am very pleased.

    Stuff with our own elk sausage. apples, onions, toasted bread, home grown sage, walnuts, etc…

    And cooked on a bed of sauerkraut with onions, apples, and brown sugar.

    Scalloped potatoes, asparargus, and home cooked pumpkin which is served as both a side dish and made into two pies…

    Happy thanksgiving!

  30. 30.

    Krista

    Oooh, that crown of pork sounds DAMNED good, capelza! Save some for me?

    Then again, I have plenty here. It may not be Thanksgiving, but it is my MIL’s birthday tomorrow, so I made a couple of lasagnas tonight (one to freeze for later.) That sauce simmered for almost four hours, beeyotches! I never, ever order lasagna in a restaurant anymore. It’s invariably just noodles swimming in tomato sauce, with a big ol’ glob of mozza on top. Shameful.

  31. 31.

    demimondian

    We’re still working out the details of the eldest’s desire to be a vegetarian, particularly at Thanksgiving. I managed to prepare everything which could be made without meat completely meat-free…except I put chicken stock in the dressing which I cooked outside the bird.

    I felt really bad.

  32. 32.

    Krista

    Hey, you tried. Hopefully he’ll understand. Did you want my recipe for vegan chili? It’s really, really good, can be made in 5 minutes with stuff that you can keep in your pantry forever, and my parents didn’t know it was meatless until I actually told them. It isn’t really Thanksgiving-y, though.

  33. 33.

    capelza

    Krista…t was wonderful..but a decent lasagna…rare on the ground. Sounds great.

    Demi, if your offspring is still in vegetarian mode next year, try butternut squash ravioli. It’s still in the “theme, but can be made completely vegetarian. For a meatier dish to go with it, grill a big portabello mushroom…

    I just discovered the squash raviolis..man are they good.

  34. 34.

    demimondian

    try butternut squash ravioli. It’s still in the “theme, but can be made completely vegetarian. For a meatier dish to go with it, grill a big portabello mushroom…

    Those are both great ideas.

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