• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

The willow is too close to the house.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Giving up is unforgivable.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

T R E 4 5 O N

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

People are weird.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Come on, man.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

You cannot shame the shameless.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

Disappointing to see gov. newsom with his finger to the wind.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Science & Technology / Cosmological Shrinkage

Cosmological Shrinkage

by Michael D.|  November 26, 20071:36 pm| 35 Comments

This post is in: Science & Technology

FacebookTweetEmail

Another thing humans can blame themselves for:

Forget about the threat that mankind poses to the Earth: our very ability to study the heavens may have shortened the inferred lifetime of the cosmos.

In a nutshell, the theory suggests that quantum systems can exist in many different physical configurations at the same time. By observing the system, however, we may pick out one single ‘quantum state’, and therefore force the system to change its configuration.

So, simply by looking at the universe, we are shortening its lifespan. Upon hearing the news, Al Gore and the IPCC immediately blinded themselves and promised to work to ban telescopes, binoculars, eyeglasses, microscopes, etc.

Of course, I didn’t understand more than a paragraph or two of the article. What I would suggest though is that there are probably millions of other species out there – many with much more advanced “looking” technology and capability than we mere earthlings. Shouldn’t we be allowed to get to a more advanced evolutionary stage of vision before these other species tell us we’re part of the problem too? I mean, it wouldn’t be fair for us to halt our progress while the inhabitants of, say, whatever planet the Scientologists aspire to end up inhabiting keep looking and looking and looking. And what about less developed planets? Should the inhabitants of more developed planets like our own subsidize their lack of vision?

When we get to a stage of interplanetary travel, or even before for that matter, I propose a system of “Vision Credits.” Someone like me with good vision, for example, can trade credits with someone who has absolutely no vision at all.

Like, say, Giuliani or Romney.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « We’re #2
Next Post: Score One for the Smelly Dirty Hippies »

Reader Interactions

35Comments

  1. 1.

    Tim F.

    November 26, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    Oh, Kevin Drum should be thrilled with this one. I would email the authors to point out that quantum phenomena only matter at phenomenally small size scales, but I don’t get paid enough to fix all of the stupid in the world.

  2. 2.

    Zifnab

    November 26, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    So, simply by looking at the universe, we are shortening its lifespan. Upon hearing the news, Al Gore and the IPCC immediately blinded themselves and promised to work to ban telescopes, binoculars, eyeglasses, microscopes, etc.

    You’re not really a Republican until you take ridiculous and nonsensical cheap shots at Al Gore. I guess Mike’s brushing up his street creds.

    And before you play the “but I mocked Romney and Giuliani too” card, Republicans don’t like them either.

  3. 3.

    The Pirate

    November 26, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    Giuliani has a vision, it’s just a terrifying one.

  4. 4.

    cleek

    November 26, 2007 at 1:55 pm

    Prof Krauss says “I did not mean to imply causality”, yet the entire frikkin article is written as if he did. i kept waiting for a quote from Deepak Chopra about how our negative quantum energy is causing it, and that we should all focus some positive mental energy outwards, to help prevent the heat-death of the universe.

  5. 5.

    Mike

    November 26, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    Was this supposed to be funny? It’s hard to tell sometimes.

    Though usually not with John’s or Tim’s posts. Why is that, I wonder?

  6. 6.

    Michael D.

    November 26, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    Zifnab: Lighten up. Do a search for Gore on my own site and you’ll see that, while I sometimes have fun at his expense, I have a tremendous amount of respect for him. What are you? 12?

  7. 7.

    grumpy realist

    November 26, 2007 at 2:04 pm

    Can we somehow ban pundits from mentioning anything to do with quantum theory unless they demonstrate a knowledge of the basics? “Shortening the lifetime.” Sheesh….

  8. 8.

    ThymeZone

    November 26, 2007 at 2:11 pm

    I sometimes have fun at his expense

    Hey, good for you. And sometimes we have fun at yours. Since you are badly outnumbered, I think we win.

    Point to Zifnab.

    Fun at Gore’s expense is like a black guy calling another black guy “nigga.” It’s only fun for the smart-alec. But in the long run, it’s really about respect, isn’t it?

    Anyway, want to see some really scary material on the subject of disrespect for science?

    All I can say is, OMFG.

  9. 9.

    Jake

    November 26, 2007 at 2:18 pm

    Heh. Looks like the author has been reading his Terry Pratchett and has yet to realize it’s fantasy.

    Unfortunately this “article” came out in the Telegraph so we probably won’t get to see Domestic Nuts screaming OMG! Scientists have destroyed the universe, we shoulda jest taught Creationism in schools, quick stick the 10 Commandments in the town square and put chastity belts on the wimmin!!onethousandonehundredeleven.

    Neither will we be able to convince them that looking at your junk or allowing others to observe your junk causes shrinkage.

    Damn.

  10. 10.

    ThymeZone

    November 26, 2007 at 2:19 pm

    Neither will we be able to convince them that looking at your junk or allowing others to observe your junk causes shrinkage.

    I think it depends to some extent on who’s looking.

  11. 11.

    RSA

    November 26, 2007 at 2:21 pm

    So, simply by looking at the universe, we are shortening its lifespan.

    Cool! Just by looking around, we can hasten the Rapture. I’ll make sure to be outdoors as much as possible.

  12. 12.

    Michael D.

    November 26, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    Fun at Gore’s expense is like a black guy calling another black guy “nigga.

    You must really hate Saturday Night Live.

  13. 13.

    ThymeZone

    November 26, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    You must really hate Saturday Night Live.

    I just hate lazy blogging. If I wanted laziness, I could hang around Red State.

    (As for SNL, after 32 years on the air, I can assure you, there has been plenty to hate. Unevenness is the hallmark of the show. For example, you have the elegant humor of Al Franken, and the the total shit that passes for humor from Tracy Morgan.)

  14. 14.

    ThymeZone

    November 26, 2007 at 2:31 pm

    Oh, and point to me. That makes you 0-2 for the thread.

    You might want to quit while you’re ahead.

    I’m your friend, trust me.

  15. 15.

    brendancalling

    November 26, 2007 at 2:46 pm

    “Of course, I didn’t understand more than a paragraph or two of the article.”

    Why are you writing about, and mocking, something you admit you don’t understand?
    Oh wait, you’re a Republican. Never mind: it’s just your way. I might as well expect a frog to stop eating flies.

  16. 16.

    Ted

    November 26, 2007 at 2:49 pm

    I follow the astrophysics news religiously, and I honestly wish Krauss would just shut up. His entire hypothesis is grounded on a premise of Quantum physics that is not at all settled and still in dispute. Krauss has a history of this sort of attention-getting declaration. Bit of a media whore, actually.

  17. 17.

    gypsy howell

    November 26, 2007 at 2:58 pm

    Would it be wrong to hijack this thread into a flamewar critique of “What the Bleep Do We Know?”

    I submit to you, it would be wrong NOT to!

  18. 18.

    Andrew

    November 26, 2007 at 3:24 pm

    (As for SNL, after 32 years on the air, I can assure you, there has been plenty to hate. Unevenness is the hallmark of the show. For example, you have the elegant humor of Al Franken, and the the total shit that passes for humor from Tracy Morgan.)

    I would just like to point out that SNL has defined unfunny for more than a decade.

    Also, what happened to Tracy Morgan? He was, by far, the lest funny person of all time on a comedy show for his entire stint at SNL. However, he’s actually pretty damn funny on 30 Rock now. I suppose it’s because he’s playing a parody of himself but may not realize it.

  19. 19.

    Don

    November 26, 2007 at 3:31 pm

    “Quarantine” by Greg Egan explored this concept, actually, with Earth getting put inside a bubble, of sorts, in order to keep it from further ‘destroying’ the universe by collapsing everyone else’s eigenstates. As the light reached Earth the observations suddenly locked down the people in the rest of the universe who lived in a less determined structure.

    Was kind of a fun little book, as I recall.

  20. 20.

    Buck

    November 26, 2007 at 3:43 pm

    I propose a system of “Vision Credits.”

    that ought to do the trick.

  21. 21.

    Zifnab

    November 26, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    Zifnab: Lighten up. Do a search for Gore on my own site and you’ll see that, while I sometimes have fun at his expense, I have a tremendous amount of respect for him. What are you? 12?

    :p I’d hoped the Giuliani/Romney quip put enough snark in my post.

    That said, after the epic levels of Gore-bashing witnessed in the wingnut blogosphere, Al Gore humor ranks right up there with Michael Moore fat jokes and Jimmy Carter hates Jews laugh lines on the list of things that make conservatives not funny.

  22. 22.

    ThymeZone

    November 26, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    However, he’s actually pretty damn funny on 30 Rock now. I suppose it’s because he’s playing a parody of himself but may not realize it.

    Yes, that, and the fact that 30 Rock has first class writing.

  23. 23.

    Bruce Moomaw

    November 26, 2007 at 4:22 pm

    My God. When Greg Egan, one of Australia’s more avant-garde (and frequently incomprehensible, at least to me) new SF writers, proposed just this possibility in his 1992 novel “Quarantine” — in which one of the races out there seals off the Earth from any ability to observe the stars, because we were accidentally slaughtering trillions of beings every time we looked in their direction, thanks to our unique ability to quantum-collapse reality by observing it — I assumed he was just being deliberately outrageous. So now we’re all going to have to spend the rest of our lives stumbling around with our eyes closed to keep from committing genocide?

  24. 24.

    Psycheout

    November 26, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    Great al-Gore joke! But didn’t he invent telescopes?

  25. 25.

    Bruce Moomaw

    November 26, 2007 at 4:31 pm

    I see somebody else read “Quarantine”, too (and enjoyed it more than I did; the book left me alternatively befuddled and depressed).

    By the way, Tim, the consequences of quantum phenomena are emphatically NOT inevitably limited to the microscopic realm. The design of Schroedinger’s box — which kills a cat at a time wholly set by the random decay of a nucleus — is just one example. A far more spectacular one is the fact that the galaxies themselves are now generally supposed to have been created by microscopic quantum-generated chance fluctuations in the density of matter the instant after the Big Bang occurred, magnified to utterly gargantuan dimensions an instant after that by the phenomenon of Cosmic Inflation. I suppose the phenomenon Krauss is talking about — if he’s right — could be a similar reflection of quantum phenomena onto the scale of the macroscopic.

  26. 26.

    Psycheout

    November 26, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting.

  27. 27.

    Punchy

    November 26, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    OT–

    I’m not sure if I should be impressed or disturbed by this, but another truism comes to light: farmers are some rugged, tough sons ‘o bitches.

  28. 28.

    Face

    November 26, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    Never mind: it’s just your way. I might as well expect a frog to stop eating flies.

    I have to be honest. I did not see this example coming. Lepoard/spots, maybe. Old dog/new tricks, perhaps. But surely not amphibs/insects.

  29. 29.

    Zifnab

    November 26, 2007 at 5:13 pm

    A far more spectacular one is the fact that the galaxies themselves are now generally supposed to have been created by microscopic quantum-generated chance fluctuations in the density of matter the instant after the Big Bang occurred, magnified to utterly gargantuan dimensions an instant after that by the phenomenon of Cosmic Inflation.

    Is that why everything costs so much?

  30. 30.

    Ted

    November 26, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article,

    No one here is surprised.

  31. 31.

    MNPundit

    November 26, 2007 at 7:55 pm

    Science is determined to make everything no fun at all.

    Fucking Truth.

  32. 32.

    LiberalTarian

    November 26, 2007 at 8:49 pm

    Bwahahaha.

    But which earth at what time is looking at which universe?

    Geez.

    Still.

    Bwahahaha.

    The whole notion makes me chuckle. So, how about if we listen to the universe? What happens is we wave our hands about and feel molecules? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, we are to the universe as something much smaller than the nutrino is to us, but sure, WE MATTER!!!

    BWAHAHAHAHA.

    Now that’s some funny right there.

  33. 33.

    Dug

    November 26, 2007 at 10:12 pm

    I’m glad others have mentioned “Quarantine” as well. Greg Egan is so good at hard sci-fi, my head actually gets hotter when I read his stuff. “Diaspora” is a must-read.

  34. 34.

    lethargytartare

    November 27, 2007 at 11:18 am

    I’m always disappointed by the media’s ability to willfully misrepresent scientific discoveries/debates. In this case, both Michael D. and the telegraph for some reason have chosen to completely ignore this direct quote from Krauss, which appears in the article itself:

    “I did not mean to imply causality – namely that our measurement itself reduces the lifetime of the universe –

    bizarrely, despite this direct refutation, the Telegraph goes on to say in the very next paragraph:

    This is not the only damage to the heavens that astronomers may have caused.

    (all emphasis mine)

    Modern cosmology and quantum theory are confusing enough for us laypeople without adding this sort of lazy sensationalism into the mix.

    But I guess if the telegraph can’t be bothered to verify that consecutive sentences in their article aren’t completely contradictory, maybe Michael deserves some slack for running gleefully into inanity with that contradiction…

  35. 35.

    BIRDZILLA

    November 27, 2007 at 3:43 pm

    Theres always someone comming up with some crazy crack-pot theory based on their total insanity and plain wackiness and signs thier out of their minds

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

What we should do right now
Image by Tim F. (5/10/25)

Recent Comments

  • Matt McIrvin on Trump Fires the Librarian of Congress (May 12, 2025 @ 8:13am)
  • teakay on Monday Morning Open Thread: Another Suggestion (May 12, 2025 @ 8:11am)
  • Baud on Monday Morning Open Thread: Another Suggestion (May 12, 2025 @ 8:04am)
  • Betty Cracker on Monday Morning Open Thread: Another Suggestion (May 12, 2025 @ 7:56am)
  • sentient ai from the future on Monday Morning Open Thread: Another Suggestion (May 12, 2025 @ 7:52am)

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
War in Ukraine
Donate to Razom for Ukraine

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Meetups

Upcoming Ohio Meetup May 17
5/11 Post about the May 17 Ohio Meetup

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Hands Off! – Denver, San Diego & Austin

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!