GO STILLERS! Beat the fish!
*** Update ***
Will someone pick up the 22 kids at Heinz field who just played a pony league football game on national tv?
Steelers win, 3-0.
Blech.
Reader Interactions
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
Bark louder, little dog.
John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania. Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.
The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.
Not all heroes wear capes.
A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals
No one could have predicted…
if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.
Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.
Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.
That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.
T R E 4 5 O N
Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?
Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.
I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.
Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.
Let there be snark.
Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.
Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.
I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.
They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.
Consistently wrong since 2002
Tick tock motherfuckers!
Their freedom requires your slavery.
I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.
A different Matt
Well John, given the Steelers penchant for playing down to their opposition’s talent and losing games they’re supposed to win, does this game have you worried?
Also, I think dolphins are mammals – that taste like fish.
PaulW
If you’re talking about Ben Stiller and his family taking on the Dolphins… well then yeah I do think the Stillers can beat ’em.
Gold Star for Robot Boy
Go clubs! Beat the seals!
It’s about the same, really.
Abe Froman
damn’t go najah davenport. I need 2.64 fantasy points out of him. damn ronnie brown’s injury!!!
IanY77
GSfRB:
I’ll skip the tired “you own me a new keyboard” joke and just say that you made my friggin’ night. Thanks.
And I was panning to skip this, but then I heard that old Smokey Williams was activated for the game and I had to watch. Work’s gonna suck tomorrow.
Notorious P.A.T.
Also, I think dolphins are mammals
They sure are! Why do people call them “fish”?
Tim F.
I feel as if I died and woke up in fan hell. Their entire team is (a) emotionally damaged, (b) injured and ( c) worse than the Patiot’s maintenance staff pick up team, yes somehow we can’t score on them for three quarters. If we play down to their level any worse the two teams will just sit around in the mud laughing at each others’ farts.
D-Chance.
Well, no one has to worry about missing anything exciting while hitting the fridge or taking a bathroom break…
Bubblegum Tate
I can’t shake the feeling that the Steelers are gonna lose because the Dolphins get the only score of the game on some total fluke play. This sucks.
Ryan S.
I know its muddy but, but ah wow. Talk about a toilet bowl, *gulf clap* for the Steelers. I kinda wish the dolphins would score they’re so cute in their suckiness.
Tim F.
We’re never getting picked for Monday night football again.
mantis
This is one of the funniest games I’ve seen.
Ryan S.
Its gotta be a dangerous place in John’s living room I can only imagine the obscenities, and other things being hurled.
jake
Maybe if they had water wings?
Ryan S.
WOOOT 3 to 0.. they’re gonna blow em out… oh wait this is football not hockey.
A Different Matt
Dude,
The Dolphins only gave up 3 points – and lost! How crazy is that?
Tim F.
WTF was that.
demimondian
Yes, really. I mean, wow! A field goal with 0:17 to play. Dude!
Um, John — maybe you should root for a better football team? Like, I dunno…the New York Yankees? Or perhaps the Serbian National Basketball Team?
demimondian
There’s a worse outcome, you know — to give up three points and lose *by one*.
J. Michael Neal
In sloppy weather, Ian Snell throws a three-hit, four-walk shutout, striking out two Marlins. After a one out Freddy Sanchez single and a Xavier Nady walk in the bottom of the ninth, Jason Bay hit a three run homer to send the crowd home happy with a 3-0 win. Justin Miller took the loss in relief of Sergio Mitre.
PaulW
That wasn’t a football field, it was a swimming pool.
I know it’s up north, but damn don’t you guys know anything about drainage?
Actually, I just remembered, Joe Robbie Stadium has the same drainage problems. I wonder if the Dolphins snuck in last night and messed with the sprinkler system…
guyermo
if it makes you feel better, john, i saw a US Airways plane with the steelers logo painted on it today at Minneapolis International. No word if Larry Craig was on it.
John S.
Hell, it hasn’t been called that for years. I forgot what corporate sponsor they licensed the stadium out to most recently, but at least it hasn’t changed names as often as the Bank Atlantic Center (home of the Florida Panthers).
Wow, upon Googling I discovered it is merely called Dolphin Stadium now. I guess nobody wants to pay to sponsor such a shitty team’s home field.
gogiggs
I love football, but man was I glad to find “This is Spinal Tap” running on VH1 Classic starting at 10. I switched channels with no concern at all that I might miss something good in the football game. Nice to see I was right. Besides, by 10 it was pretty clear that Willie Parker wasn’t going to get me the 25 points I needed to win my fantasy game.
Steven Taylor
It was semi-amusing at the very end to see how late in the game they could get before scoring.
I was semi-hoping for a 0-0 tie, just to say I saw it (but the problem there, of course, was having to see it). Watching via semi-delayed TiVo helped, as I could fast forward through some of it.
Sensitive Pony Tail Girly Man
3-zip. Now that’s my kind of football. None of that classless running-up-the-score stuff like that Evil Team that shall not be named often does. Folks will pay good money, even more than they already do, for this brand of class. Nobody’s widdle feelings were hurt in this one. Sweet!
zzyzx
Yeah I was rooting for the 0-0 tie. Would have been pretty insane.
Vlad
As far as I’m concerned, a win’s a win.
Sstarr
The game was almost a total waste, but was redeemed by one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen – the third quarter punt by Miami that hit the ground and sunk eight inches into the mud without bouncing. I haven’t laughed so hard in weeks. Of course, by then I WAS pretty desperate to find something entertaining in the exercise….
jon
All I care about is Miami’s perfect season. 0-16 is about all I’m following this year.
Gindy
In all fairness, have any of you ever played football on such a field and in such conditions? I haven’t played football but I have played soccer and it was like running and kicking a ball in a bowl of jello. Just the worst possible combination of things to ever play in. Of course if you fell down you didn’t get hurt (unless some ASSHOLE stepped on your shoulder, Ricky Williams style).
That said, I thought it was fun to watch and even if it had ended in a tie, it was still good “clean” fun (except for the shoulder crunch Williams took).