As usual, The Onion gets it right!
Trent Lott, the second-ranking Republican in the Senate, announced that he would be leaving office at the end of the year. What do you think?
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| Angel McCaskey, Book Seller “See, you don’t have to wait for a public disgrace before quitting. You can do it two, or even three weeks before.” |
Phil Windstrup, Systems Analyst “With Lott’s announcement and Dog the Bounty Hunter’s cancellation, white supremacy really took one on the chin this month.” |
Kevin Potter, Craftsman “This is a great loss for our country, but a huge gain for the principle of decency.” |
akaoni
Nice.
Seanly
I love how the media doesn’t seem to think there is any big deal with him retiring. A senior Senator retires after just one year into a new term? Ah… nothing newsworthy. Even the scuttlebutt that it is to avoid new lobbying regulations is pretty strange. Why give up another 5 years as a powerful senator so you can lobby sooner?
Oh well, maybe now the citizens of Mississippi will get someone who represents their interests. Ha ha, who am I kidding?
jake
Housematey just noted that if a Congressman is indicted before he retires he loses his pension. If the indictment occurs after retirement, he doesn’t.
Hmmmm…
I know, and what about Hastert? Isn’t this whole thing a bit unusual? Maybe I wasn’t paying attention but I don’t recall similar mid-term exits “just because” in previous years.
RSA
I love those six Onion people. Though I wish they didn’t have to change names and jobs so often. Are they all on the lam or something?
Ben
Lobbying sooner? How about the rumors a gay male escort has the goods on Lott?
Tim F.
They’re bogus.
caustics
When the senate goes Dem 60/40 or better(or even now), what in hell can he lobby for? Post office re-namings?
gypsy howell
In the spirit of naming all public facilities after St Ronnie, I propose we rename everything we dislike about government after George Bush.
We could start with The George W Bush Department of Motor Vehicles Office.
Tax Analyst
Please don’t do that, our DMV’s offices out here in California have just recently started to actually WORK in a reasonable and timely manner – at least the one in Culver City. It took me less than 10 minutes the last time I had to go in there to get something done…without an appointment. I was fucking shocked, but other people have related similar tales to me since.
Tony J
Ok, the one in the middle is John Bolton, the one on the right is Sean Hannity, but is that Anne Coulter’s real face on the left?
It’s an improvement if it is. I’ve never understood why she wears that “Anorexic Thundercat” mask in the first place.
Snarkilicious
No, that’s far too simple a scheme.
For example, what would you name after Karl Rove? Maybe a trash-to-steam plant, maybe a radioactive waste dump.
But how to memorialize GWB? I suggest putting him on Mt. Rushmore….
As a 6-inch marble bust that is epoxied to the inside of Lincoln’s nose.
James M. Martin
The *real* reason Trite Loot resigned from the Senate is to lay low and hide out until the bruhaha blows over about his junket to Alaska as a guest of the Corrupt Bastards Club. The other three pols flown out for the occasion were Denny Hasbeen and Lairy (“Wide Stance”) Crag. You can see from that photo of the three honorary Corrupt Bastards from D.C. that the setting was somewhat primitive. It is cold up there and rumor has it Trite shared a double-wide bedroll with Crag. Once this is out of the bag (you should pardon the expression), Trite will be shamed, which is why he had to get out (of the Senate, that is).