Obligatory Steelers/Patriots open thread.
I guess this is what death row feels like. The imminent sense of doom that you can’t do anything about all the while hoping the Gods intervene and spare you.
*** Update ***
I stand by my assessment from six weeks or so ago. The patriots will only lose if Brady has pneumonia or a supermodel stabs him in the arm.
As a lifelong Pats fan and also a Seattle resident and fairweather Hawks fan, I have every reason to despise the Steelers and would love to tell you that the Pats are going to steamroll the Steelers today. But alas, after the steaming pile of poop that the Pats have looked like over three of the last four weeks, I don’t think you have a lot to worry about today.
I have more faith that Steely McBeam will be granted his life-long dream to gay marry than I do in Worthlessberger going into Gilette and stumbling into a victory.
I’ve got cash riding on the Steelers. The Pats have been performing at such a high level for so long that they look worn down. That, plus the fact that every team is gunning to be the first to break the Pats streak that they play way above their level (last Monday’s game, for example). If a mediocre team like Baltimore can take them down to the wire, a good team like the Steelers has a very good chance. If the game was at Heinz Field, I’d call this one a lock.
John, I’m a born and bred Browns fan, but today is the one time I can ever remember pulling for the Steelers to win. I don’t want to see the Pats go perfect in the regular season. I think the Steelers defense is probably the one thing that can stop the Pats this season, and given the way that they haven’t been able to run up the score since they played Indy, I think Pittsburgh can pull it out. AFC North represent!
I’m rooting for Steely McBeam to be injured, I think.
Well, everyone’s rooting for that. Except, perhaps, for the surely relatively small number of blind football fans out there. And even most of them will immediately recognize the utter visual horror implied by the Steely McBeam name and not wish that upon anyone else. Pretty much that limits McBeam’s fan base to blind Browns fans who take the Pittsburgh rivalry way too seriously.
Buffalo 56-10. And the AFC North is 1-3 against the Arizona Cardinals this year.
Try being a Dolphins fan right now. I was at a sports bar earlier and you should have seen the three fans weeping as the Bills went up 21-0 this first quarter…
A different matt
People of Balloon Juice! Out of all the injustices in the world, let not your hatred for the Pats be the tie that binds! Instead, focus your discontent on whatever Collin Ferrel is doing. It’s sure to be no good.
A different matt
two minutes into the game and Minnesota’s already up 7 against the 49ers.
Damage control time for Nolan – just keep the opponent’s score under 30.
Well, the Steelers haven’t begun to lose yet — or at least, they haven’t fallen behind on the score.
Yet. I have faith in McBeam and his Steely followers.
Homo for Romo, right here!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. sob.
J sub D
Try being a Lions fan anytime over the last 50 years. Yeah, that’s right, 50 years. In that time the Detroit Lions have won one singular playoff game. Don’t look for any sympathy here.
The Steelers are certainly having a hard time finding a way to lose this game. Their vaunted defense appears to be as porous as…well, this is a family show, so I’ll spare you the simile. But their offense keeps failing to sputter.
Wow, that little toss to the end zone that Rothlesberger just made was damned impressive. Little flick of the arm, impromptu 30 yards on the fly, perfect spot.
Pretty as a picture.
I am very pleased that the Minnesota Vikings traded Eli Manning back to the Giants. Boy, after that three touchdown game for the Vikes I’m surprised they let him go back to the Giants. But he looked … well he did enough to win. That’s enough about The Other Manning Boy.
If the Giants ever get a decent GM and a legitimate NFL head coach they might return to the halycon days of Simms, Hostettler and LT.
Wide right! Scott Norwood is still my hero.
Nothing like the good old days to warm to a grizzled keyboard ranger’s heart.
Oof. I can see why you’re watching the Steely McBB show, given what’s happening to the Arizona Cardinals, TZ.
24-nought to the *SEAHAWKS*? Dude…that’s just pathetic.
Bascially, we’re just a joke team right now, just something to fill out the schedule. We suck beyond all comprehension.
pity the pats fan in manhattan. no pats to be seen, unless i want to go to a sports bar, which i don’t. following along via cnn.com, boston.com, and this thread, for color. steely mcbeam is rebarbative, yes, but it’s not as if the pats’ mascot is a thing of beauty. maybe if the pats go up by 28 or so i’ll start hurling mascot abuse, but to do so now would be too too chad johnson-esque.
Wel, they interrupted the Broncos game with news of a shooting at YWAM (Youth With a Mission) New Life Church in Colorado Springs. 5 peole shot. No one saying if there are any fatalities.
I am certain tomrrow we will hear, if they just allowed more guns in churches this wouldn’t happen.
Don’t believe the hype. The Pats aren’t that good. They’ve simply been enjoying a weak schedule and, oh yeah… THEY CHEAT!!!
Once the rest of the league figured out the extent to which their security had been compromised, and had time to adjust their plans and tactics, the Pats suddenly find themselves struggling to keep the win streak going.
They will flop, which is awesome. The only thing I hate more than Steelers fans is cheaters.
HOW ‘BOUT THEM COWBOYS!!!
Impending doom is turning on the Niners game.
The Pats aren’t “that good?”
They remind me a lot of my 1980’s – 1990’s Forty Niners.
Are they “that good?” Well, they’re probably better than whatever team they are playing on any given day. Scoring 40 and allowing under 20 points per game?
Yeah, they apparently are that good. Just deal with it.
Well, as the Pat’s are up 31 to 13, I’m thinking they must be doing something right. Sorry, John. There will be no joy in Muddville.
Decorating our “Holiday” tree today made me Feel all spiritual and stuff, so I Googled Evangelical World in search of something to distance myself from my normal secular cynical world. In Creationism is God’s Friend this popped up:
AAAAaaahhhhhhh! You guys think science has answers, eh? Take that all you rational science-y types!
That really is Colbert material right there, isn’t it?
Well, actually, the Seahawks have been doing OK these last few weeks. Not great, but OK.
Seahawks are starting to jell.
Brady just went over 4000 yards. He has 11 minutes left in this game, then the Bills, Jets, and Giants. I’d say he has a 15 percent chance of getting to 5000.
Ranger 3, fair enough on their weak schedule– they’ve played the AFC East, of course, but also the NFC East this season.
Let me just say that CBS SUCKS. Right now in Seattle they are showing infomercials, and I am stuck (not) watching the Seahawks squirt guano all over the Cardinals.
I just saw on the yahoo sports page that the Pats put in a successful goal line stand and kept the game at 31-13, followed by a big pass to get out of danger. The Steelers will need a miracle at this point.
And if the Pats have been less than godlike in the last 3 weeks, they have still found a way to win. I for one am rooting for the Pats going 16-0 while the Fish go 0-16. I’m sick of hearing about how those old Miami players get together for champagne every year. This year, let them drink Bourbon, Scotch, and Gin.
J sub D
Steeler fans, it’s just a football game. Please don’t beat your wife over it.
Well, it’s good to see that the Steely McBeams have found a way to push the patsies to 13-0. Yes, indeed.
But I’m disappointed that the mascots escaped unscathed. Oh, well. Wait till next year.
BWAHAHAHAH! Please, a beer-in-mouth warning next time. Think of the laptops!
I like Tom Brady. Always have. Ever since he was just a little quarterback pitter-pattering around in college.
But hey, what the hell do I know? I mostly watch seniors curling and WNBA.
ahh, schweet. now i can say it: steely mcbeam is heinous. the patriots win because they’re highly skilled and well-coached. period. say goodnight, ranger 3.
Mac – that’s NFL rules, not CBS. You can’t air a game against a local team’s home game.
I thought it was gonna be a close one, but twice inside the 10 and only 3 points?
More proof that God does exist: if you hadn’t rooted for an obviously evil team last week, Pittsburgh would have won.
No way. If you’re a Pats fan in Manhattan, you should leave. Go break Brady’s throwing arm, or something, would ya? And then kick him.
I hate the Patriots. Why the hell couldn’t the Steelers a beaten ’em today? It woulda made up for yet another Jets loss.
Even then he’d just throw left-handed or from his hospital bed, somehow managing not to get another interception. That or it would be all running game and they’d still win.
And (to steal from King Kaufman), in the time it took me to write that, Brady scored three touchdowns and finished a Sudoku.
Here’s the question though, usually teams that have clinched the first round playoff bye start playing their 2nd stringers, so as to give them a chance to get playing time, and to give their 1st stringers a rest before the playoffs (and maybe avoid injuries). This usually results in a loss or two at the end of the season.
What will the Patriots do the next 3 games? Thoughts? Comments?
What about the “Fair Football Tax” where all teams that are as good as the Patriots have to play with one arm tied behind their back?
John–Look on the bright side! West Virginia didn’t lose this weekend.
What will the Patriots do the next 3 games? Thoughts? Comments?
The Patriots will play the first string squads, and continue to ruthlessly crush their opponents. And rightly so.
The next priority is to try to put 60 points up on the Jets as retribution for Mangini’s reporting of Spygate.
Expect for Belichik to be poring over obscure rules all week in order to report Mangini when he is up in Gilette Stadium.
“And if the Pats have been less than godlike in the last 3 weeks, they have still found a way to win. I for one am rooting for the Pats going 16-0 while the Fish go 0-16. I’m sick of hearing about how those old Miami players get together for champagne every year. This year, let them drink Bourbon, Scotch, and Gin.”
Point of order: the annual champagne drinking has been debunked as an urban myth. (Although I’m sick of hearing it brought out every year too.)
Having said that, the Good Drafting Team and the Bad Drafting Team are both getting what’s coming to them. In triplicate.
The Pats are so geared up for 19-0 that I cannot imagine them letting any of the last games go.
I’m betting on them running up the score early with Brady in, and then resting the whole first string in the second half.
What was the previous record score in the NFL? 74 points? I believe the Jets are about to pay dearly for Mangini’s reporting.
To quote Doc Holiday in Tombstone
So the Steelers suck. What else is new?
Pats will be beaten, and I will laugh at all you fools who bought the hype.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a team play better than the Pats tonight. Seriously, and I’m 50. In every aspect, by whatever stat, an absolutely convincing performance by these guys. I’m a believer.
Pats played great, Steelers played crap. Hopefully meet ’em again in January and take another shot. And hopefully Anthony Smith will have been good and waived by then. What a jackass.
Something came to mind as I watched the game. We were able to run the ball, New England couldn’t. Or, more the point, they didn’t have to, as they were able to throw the ball in any which way they pleased. What happens if the Pats host the AFC Championship game and a blizzard hits and Brady has to throw the ball in a white-out with 40mph winds? Shouldn’t the Pats tank the next three games so the title game is playing indoors in Indy? The only thing that can beat the Pats is an act of God (or His agent, Mother Nature), so perhaps throwing those games would be a smart idea. Plus, obviously throwing games would be further proof of the contempt that Bill Belicheck seems to have for, well, just about everything and everybody. Sometime in his past, Bill was hurt very badly.
Sensitive Pony Tailed Girly Man
Actchung NFC East (better known as the Wuss Division by the cognoscenti), did you see how the Steelers took their beating like MEN? That’s a real NFL team right there.
The Cowboys will get another crack at it, maybe. But after watching their Secondary in action against the Lions I don’t think anyone in New England will be losing any sleep worrying about a potential rematch.
As for taking the foot off the accelarator, that didn’t work so well for another of the Real NFL teams, the 2005 Colts. Keep the pedal to the metal Coach. But note that the Giants are another of those Delicate NFC East teams, so maybe put the 4th string RB in again, although the Skins couldn’t stop him either, so there’s little reason to expect the Giants will either. Soften the blow by sending a couple of cases of Kleenex over to the Giants Locker Room as a Holiday Gift.
Shouldn’t have got into Brady’s face…all that did was piss off the Pats.
Subject: New NFL Rules
New Patriots Rules in Effect
In order to address the complaints and hurt feelings of the rest of the NFL, the commissioner has adopted 10 new “Special Rules” for all New England Patriots games. They take effect immediately, and are as follows:
Special Rules for the Patriots
1) In the course of an NFL game, if the Patriots go up by m ore than 31 points, they are not allowed to play offense until the opposing team draws to within one score . (Pats will kick-off after an opposing team’s touchdown or FG). Once the team is within one score, the Pats offense may play, but Tom Brady may not, unless:
The Pats play with 8 players (including Tom), or the Pats play with 9 players, but 1 player for the Patriots is chosen by the opposing team from the stands. No Patriots linebacker is allowed to play offense, unless that LB is inserted at quarterback. However, Mike Vrabel cannot be quarterback.
2) If an opposing player states “It’s like we’re playing 7-on-5s” (7 offense, 5 defense during practice), such as indicated by Justin Smith, DE, Cincinnati Bengels 10/1/07, the Patriots must take a time out and serve ice cold lemonade or hot tea (weather dependent) to the opposing team. Scones are optional.
3)Once the 31 pt rule is in effect, Patriots may challenge any play, but the opposing team gets veto power over the referee.
4)Once the Pats offense is allowed back onto the field (7 pts), for any forward pass the Pats QB must point to the receiver and call out his number BEFORE passing. If Tom Brady is quarterbacking at the time, he must do that, plus turn the opposing team’s water cooler into wine BEFORE passing.
5)Belichick must diagram any Patriots play to the opposing defense and ensure they understand exactly how to disrupt the play. This all must be done within the play clock. If this process is not complete prior to the play clock expiring, the Patriots will be assessed a delay of game and double unsportsmanlike conduct penalties.
6)Randy Moss must play with 10lb ankle w eights on each ankle. An additional pound will be added for each TD this season.
7)Wes Welker is not allowed to have “that crazy look” in his eyes. 10 yd, “crazy eyes” penalty assessed.
8) Tom Brady must immediately stop dating supermodels as he will not be allowed to date anyone that is more attractive then the least attractive significant other of an opposing team member (including coaches). He also must start doing commercials for every product imaginable, especially ones where he chants “cut that meat!” or refers to himself “as a “6’5″ quarterback with a laser-rocket arm”
9) Bill Belichick is not allowed to be within 100 yds of any infant, for fear that his evil super-genius powers would assimilate such a defenseless creature into the Patriots System. We have already seen this effect on an inordinate amount of chipmunks, squirrels, and ‘ possum that commit suicide while crossing Rte 1 to reach Gillette Stadium.
10) Patriots must respect all opposing players feelings and apologize for every first down. Touchdowns must be followed by a written apology and a fruit basket presented with a hug.
Ranger seems to be a bitter Cowboys fan. I recall the Pats blowing them out earlier in the year, fair and square. If the Pats are all ‘hype,’ what does that make the Cowboys?
Well, John, at least you can get your money back — I mean the Steelers “guaranteed” a win, didn’t they?
As a Viking fan it pains me to disagree. The best team I ever saw was the Bears in 84. Or was it 85? They lost one game to Miami in what was a masterpiece bit of play by Marino, but other than that, they literally destroyed everyone they played. Had they not all let their ego’s get in the way as to who was the most important player, they could have had a dynasty. I have never seen a defense like that and hopefuly never will again…unless it belongs to Minnesota. : )
I know Miami (72), Pittsburg (all of 70’s) San Franciso (80’s) and Dallas fans are going to heartily disagree.
Bill Walsh’s Niners were at least as good as these Pats. and there were the 70’s Steelers as you suggest. Before the Niners took over the 80s, the Cowboys were the team.
But these Pats are right there with those teams, I think. As of today, anyway. That doesn’t mean they can’t lose, though. Walsh and Montana didn’t win every week.
This actually describes me too. There seem to be a lot of Seattleites (or at least Washingtonians) here. Odd. Must be the weather.
I think Manning deserves to lose that touchdown record, just for all those stupid commercials. Do we really have to see him every damn commercial break?
And for those questioning New England’s running game, it’s not that they CAN’T run, it’s that they don’t WANT to run. When Maroney or Morris actually get 20-30 carries in a game, they do put up some yards. But when you only call 8 runs in the entire game, you can hardly expect much. I think they will run a little more in the next couple of weeks, since they’ll be up against some piss-poor defenses.
Ranger 3 – I hope you back up all those sports “hunches” of yours with bets.
that way you can be bitter, dumb AND broke.
the patriots will do the same thing they have done all season. play each game, all 60 minutes. not let up until it’s all over.
and I’ll be there in Giants stadium on December 29 to see 16-0 (so I hope, I have the tickets. they just need to win the next two)
Sometime in his past, Bill was hurt very badly.
Hmm, you could be on to something. Let’s sift through the history books and see if anything football-related might have ever pissed him off.
Hey, this dusty tome from the Dawn Age has a passage suggesting that because of “signal taping,” the Patriots didn’t earn their Rings of Power. Promising, but clearly more research is needed.
In Arizona, CBS had the Pats game on opposite the Cardinals on FOX.
Are the 11-1 Cowboys enjoying a weak schedule? You guys almost lost to Buffalo, and Detroit which lost to Arizona BTW. Security compromised? Your head coach is Wade Phillips, you’re already compromised, we don’t need your game plan. Its probably not that clever anyway.
” zzyzx Says:
Mac – that’s NFL rules, not CBS. You can’t air a game against a local team’s home game.
In Arizona, CBS had the Pats game on opposite the Cardinals on FOX. ”
Home game. The game was in Seattle so no other game could be shown.
I gotta disagree there. I read the Steelers post-game quotes and almost to a man (except Roethlisberger) every Steeler interviewed blamed their loss on ‘a couple of gadget plays’.
Ummm…no. When you get stopped on four downs inside the five yard line and have the opponent drive 80+ yards in response–that ain’t a gadget play. That’s Wes Welker.
I really thought that the Pats were going to come out flat but they found the fuel to get back to their early season dominance against a top-tier adversary.
Thanks. Somehow I missed the word ‘home’ in there the first time.
Don’t feel bad John, at least you still have Steely McBeam.