Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Fight them, without becoming them!

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Republicans don’t trust women.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself. We’re allowed to grow past that.

Russia bombs Ukraine’s maternity hospitals; Republicans in the House can’t sort out supporting Ukraine.

The choice is between normal and crazy.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

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44Comments

  1. 1.

    Kilgore Trout

    Since we have no further details to go on, I’m assuming they were killed by Islamofascists. Maybe they could have been saved if people like them would shut up and allow our brave secret CIA interrogators to bravely torture their terrorist comrades in our secret prisons.

    So, my question is, John and Tim, why did you hate your own lives?

  3. 3.

    lee

    Got a good open thread question.

    Anyone have a color printer recommendation?

    I have the Kodak AIO and it is a piece of junk. I let it sit too long between printing pictures (maybe 2-3 weeks) and now all the prints look like shit. No matter how much I try the clean printhead function, they are still bad.

    thanks,

  6. 6.

    Ned R.

    John and Tim both died today. What a coincidence huh?

    Murderer.

    Which coincidentally is the name of one of Low’s best songs, which you can see them perform here. (And if you don’t know who Low are but do know who the Arcade Fire are, say, it is time for a taste upgrade. I HAVE SPOKEN.)

  7. 7.

    Ted

    john and tim were both spoofs run by darrell anyway.

    I miss Darrell. He always contributed so much to the discussion.

  9. 9.

    IanY77

    Wow, it’s like the goddamn Sith around here. Students killing masters after they have learned all the masters secrets. Don’t adopt a protoge, Michael.

  10. 10.

    Conservatively Liberal

    I heard that two illegal immigrants from Columbia were shot and killed while burglarizing a residence in Pasadena, Texas. A neighbor saw the crime, confronted the thieves and shot them. But it happened on December 5th, so I guess it ain’t John and Tim. Or have you been impersonating them the whole time Michael? That “Republicans suck” line is a pretty good imitation of both John and Tim. Hmmmmm. Is your name really Joe Horn? ;)

    Regarding the story, IMO if anyone, legal or illegal, is burglarizing my home and my neighbor shot them, I would have no problem with it. Neither would my wife. Hell, I would be more than happy to return the favor if it ever came to it. To me, the fact that they are illegal immigrants does not enter in to the equation:

    Home Burglary + Neighbor With Gun = Six Feet Under

    It seems perfectly balanced already.

  15. 15.

    stickler

    Mr. Parnell, this:

    Not dead, only grading

    was clearly written by a non-academic. Grading freshman blue-books is living death.

    True sentence from an essay I read almost ten years ago now: “Louis XIV was a famous French king, he was heightly and statuelike.”

    Kill me now.

  17. 17.

    Conservatively Liberal

    Oops, happened around November 21st, my bad. How long have you been impersonating John and Tim, eh Michael? ;)

    FWIW, our home was burglarized in the early 90’s. I got home from work that winter day, entered the house from the back door and thought that the house was awful cold. When I walked in to the living room, I saw our front door open and all of the electronics were cleaned out of the room. TV, VCR, stereo system, my Gibson Les Paul 25th anniversary model guitar, my Randall amp cabinet and the jug we tossed our change in. As I was going to close the front door, I heard tires screech and someone gunning an engine. By the time I got to the door, they were out of sight. As I inspected the house (after calling the police), I saw that the side curtain was pulled out over a small stand that was in front of it, and that confirmed to me that I interrupted them. They saw me coming and ran.

    What would they have done if it had been my wife and daughter instead of me? The house was off by itself, and that is why they probably robbed it. I am happy that it was me who got home first that day.

    I have no sympathy for burglars. None.

    The cops got there at midnight (six hours later), looked things over and said that they would write a report. There was a clear handprint on the window they entered through, but the cop said that he probably would not get a good print off of it. He wouldn’t even try. We both grew up in that city, and we moved away to another state (and much smaller town) six months later.

    The guys got away. And so did we.

  18. 18.

    rachel

    t jasper parnell Says:

    Not dead, only grading

    IOW, only wishing they were dead. Oh God, do I hate the end-of-semester time. :-(

    Now I must go back to grading freshman compositions. :-( :-( :-(

  19. 19.

    Dreggas

    I am glad I didn’t go to college, having friends there now and hearing them go insane from finals and midterms and yada yada just makes my head spin.

  20. 20.

    MNPundit

    College finals were always hella easy…. law school finals are scary though…

    “Here is a 6 page long situation. Discuss all possible criminal acts contained in the problem and possible defenses. See you in 3 Hours.”

  23. 23.

    jrg

    That was one hard-hitting public announcement, Dreggas. Scary stuff.

    Also, burglars suck, but if I was a burglar, I’d rob homes, because robbing a church might get me shot in the face.

  24. 24.

    canuckistani

    I dunno, I’ve been burglarized before (lost an amp, a cd player, binoculars and half a bottle of Highland Park) and as pissed off as I was, I don’t think it’s a crime that deserves death. But as a general rule, burglars aren’t armed around here, so I’m just not that scared of them.

    Pity about Tim and John, but hell, life is cheap on the interweb.

  26. 26.

    Gus

    I, too, hate end of semester time, but from the student perspective. I have a 10 page paper that’s half written, due Thursday. I can’t make myself finish it. I’d rather get drunk.

  27. 27.

    Krista

    We use the HP 2600N Colour Laser at work. It works really well — we’ve had it for three years and trust me, that thing gets used a LOT. It was $500 when we bought it, but I just checked on Staples and it’s down to about $280. (The toner’s pricey, but they should last a decent amount of time if you’re not…oh…printing up 300 newsletters a month.)

  28. 28.

    RSA

    I have a 10 page paper that’s half written, due Thursday. I can’t make myself finish it. I’d rather get drunk.

    I recommend not trying to kill two birds with one stone.

  30. 30.

    jcricket

    We got burgled too. Guy broke in to steal my wallet and blackberry and then took off. Dropped the blackberry on the deck. I had the cards canceled in 10 minutes, but they had already charged some gas on one of them.

    But I’m not moving out of the city because of it. Insurance paid to replace the doors they kicked in, and the wallet itself wasn’t that big of a deal.

    My wife responded to the broken glass sound, though, by assuming the cat hat knocked over a vase. That wasn’t my first thought.

  31. 31.

    jcricket

    Which coincidentally is the name of one of Low’s best songs, which you can see them perform here.

    I think “Violence” is a far better Low song, and it’s what got my hooked on them to begin with…

    “Lent you my favorite dictionary…
    Came back with ripped out pages…”

    If you like Low, you’d probably like Lisa Germano too.

  32. 32.

    jcricket

    Since we have no further details to go on, I’m assuming they were killed by Islamofascists.

    I think the Islamofascists were posing as citizen journalists, so John and Tim let them in to check out the countertops. Next thing you know… mushroom cloud.

  33. 33.

    jake

    They’re not dead, they’ve been placed in one of Smilin’ Mike Huckabee’s Librul Quarantine Complexes (TM).

    Well, they’re not dead yet.

  34. 34.

    Conservatively Liberal

    Well jcricket, that is your decision to make. We decided to leave town after the burglary and our cars being broken into three times that year. On top of that, some sicko was sneaking in to houses and kidnapping, raping and murdering (and in at least one case, leaving the five year old girl alive, naked in the snow) little girls. One girls body was not found until the following spring. We left that spring. It was too close to home, and having a five year old daughter sealed the deal for us.

    I have no sympathy for home burglars. None.

  36. 36.

    Chuck Butcher

    Around here it is a bad idea to break into an occupied house. There are a lot of guns, a lot.

    Too bad about John, RNC must’ve got him. Tim should’ve been a little more careful with those “cultures.”

  37. 37.

    demimondian

    You know, out here in Suburbia, we’ve never been burgled (yet). That’s more surprising than you think; there are a set of sneak thieves who make a living off Redmond’s rather insouciant attitude towards security. (No Microsoft security jokes, please.)

  38. 38.

    stickler

    Gus:

    I have a 10 page paper that’s half written, due Thursday. I can’t make myself finish it. I’d rather get drunk.

    The professor who will be grading that will greatly appreciate it if you’d at least type the damned thing while sober. It’s the pointless, mindless, soul-destroying typos that really make you angry when you’re grading.

    Get up tomorrow morning, have a big mug of black coffee, and finish the damned essay. Then, proof-read it a couple of times. Have a friend proof-read it for you. Turn it in early.

    Then you can drink. Lots.

  40. 40.

    Xanthippas

    (And if you don’t know who Low are but do know who the Arcade Fire are, say, it is time for a taste upgrade. I HAVE SPOKEN.)

    Not that I’m itching to start an indie rock fight or something in comments here, and I do actually like Low, but I don’t think it’s going out on a limb to say that the Arcade Fire are a better band than Low. And it’s ok to think that even if a bunch of music critics think that the Arcade Fire are the shiznit, because sometimes even music critics can be right about something. Thus, a taste upgrade would actually be in the reverse direction.

  41. 41.

    srv

    What would they have done if it had been my wife and daughter instead of me?

    It was probably your daughters bf, to support their cocaine addictions.

  42. 42.

    Conservatively Liberal

    At five years of age, our daughter was not quite boyfriend ready at the time srv. Nice try though. I have no doubt is was probably some addicts collecting some loot to make their next score. It is nice of you to make light of the possibility of their coming home to burglars though. How funny.

    Not.

  43. 43.

    Tony Alva

    Gibson Les Paul 25th anniversary model guitar

    Conserve/lib,

    Wow. I certainly won’t make light of you experience and obviously our wives and 5 year olds are a higher priority, but shit, losing that axe must smart. I hope you got a chance to replace it with something equally as nice. My wife always tells me that I’d be the idiot running into the flames to save my guitar collection. She may be right.

    I too have no sympathy for burglars

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