The Republican debate just became must see TV:
There is one additional Republican presidential candidate who will be on the stage here at the GOP Des Moines Register/Iowa Public Television debate this afternoon: Alan Keyes.
This will be the first major debate this cycle featuring the former presidential candidate and ambassador, who most recently faced off against Barack Obama in the 2004 Illinois Senate race (even though he actually hails from Maryland). Keyes did participate in the Tavis Smiley-moderated GOP debate in September, which the top Republican candidates skipped.
This is going to be TEH AWESOME. The guy who lost to Obama by 80% or something (and started the whole Crazification Factor) is now going to make the entire GOP field look stupid. I can barely contain my excitement.
Dreggas
Like I said it should be on pray-per-view.
Jen
a pretty easily attainable goal.
Zifnab
Popcorn? Check.
Napkins to clean up all the spit-takes? Check.
Something to throw at the TV? Check.
I’m ready.
Spider97
Never have I been so glad that Tivo offers remote scheduling.
This, along with a little bourbon, is going to make for a great evening.
Tom Hilton
Good lord…the Republican field is already without exception completely batshit crazy (and worse, most of them are pandering to people who are even crazier than they are)–and yet with the addition of Alan Keyes, the aggregate crazification of the field is going to go up at least 30%.
That Keyes is an amazing guy, to be able to accomplish such a thing.
uh_clem
Remember Keyes in the Michael Moore Mosh Pit a couple of cycles ago? Ah, good times.
Let’s hope he pulls some more stunts like that this time around.
August J. Pollak
Is there a web stream of this? Good god I loves me some Alan Keyes.
Notorious P.A.T.
How many Republicans at the debate do you suppose will ask Keyes to park their car or carry their luggage?
Tsulagi
Thank God for Tivo. Yeah, comedy level potential has risen greatly.
Usually they have Ron Paul at a podium on the far right and crazy Tancredo on the far left. Be curious to see if Keyes moves either of them inboard toward the “real” candidates, and which one.
Also, I think the odds are better than even money Romney will be the designated Ron Paul basher. Don’t recall if he’s had his turn yet, plus Flipper will want show he has the steel for that new NRO endorsement.
Zifnab
None. Keyes isn’t an illegal immigrant.
dslak
I’m with August J. Pollack. I’ve had no interest in watching any of the debates thus far, but now my interest is piqued. I’m in the UK however, so I’ll only be able to satisfy my cravings for unadulterated crazy if it’s streaming on the web.
Somebody hook me up!
August J. Pollak
Ah, found it. C-SPAN3 will cover the whole thing online.
http://www.c-span.org/watch/cs_cspan3_wm.asp?Cat=TV&Code=CS3
Z
Spider, praise FSM and pass the Bourbon!!
I asked the noodly-one to show my family what bat-shit crazy f**kers the new republicans are and my prayers surely have been answered! May they be SAVED! I raise my fork in gratitude..
dslak
Thanks, August. Evening at the office just became a lot more interesting. . .
IanY77
Thank you, no one makes crazy sound so good.
AS an aside, John, I thought that you might like to know that Dan Riehl is terribly offended by the treatment afforded to those poor, sweet, innocent gays (who he has all the respect in the world for, especially his dear brother) by that mean old Mike Huckabee. Apparently, it’s downright un-presidential.
cleek
but his commenters aren’t. they’re all like ‘Good point, Huck!’
Z
Thank goodness, they are rebroadcasting. Work doesn’t allow streaming media.
dslak
Keyes hasn’t even spoken yet, and it’s already getting crazy. Giuiliani is suggesting that the government can eliminate debt by cutting corporate taxes. The anticipation is going to kill me.
Bombadil
Oh, Jeebus — one of Riehl’s commenters actually wrote “Behold, the Word of the Lord” before quoting Deuteronomy.
dslak
I’ve never seen Romney live before. He’s plastic yet smarmy, like a cliche TV character.
gypsy howell
Why should the Republicans settle for getting only the crazy white vote, when they have the opportunity to attract the crazy black vote too?
Michael D.
When they said Immigration would not be discused, I honestly thought Tom Tancredo would just shrug his shoulders and leave.
gypsy howell
No one has.
Michael D.
Oooooohhhh!! I may have to support Alan Keyes! Er, LOL!
dslak
Yes, yes! Finally Alan speaks! He says the FairTax will eliminate debt, because government won’t spend money anymore if it’s in place. That’s crazy (but I hope it gets crazier yet).
dslak
Michael, Keyes didn’t just say he supported the FairTax. He made the silly claim that it would stop corrupt lobbying practices and prevent deficit spending. That’s naive, at best.
Michael D.
dslak: I was kidding. I wouldn’t support Keyes if you held a gun to my head.
dslak
I took it as a given that you were being sarcastic. I just had to mention that even his expression of an idea with which you’re sympathetic was still coupled with the crazy.
Dreggas
please, please keep the updates flowing for those of us who are streaming media challenged..
dslak
Alan Keyes just attacked the moderator for asking which economic group bears the highest tax burden, then went on a rant and wouldn’t shut up. He’s not disappointing.
Dreggas
Oh happy day, they let the gimp outta the basement.
dslak
Thompson just claimed that 40% of Americans don’t pay income tax. That seems absurd.
Paul condemned the inflation tax. Do we have to pay taxes on that, too?!
Huckabee is pushing the FairTax.
Mark S.
We sent certified lunatic Alan Keyes as an ambassador to some country???
Looking it up on Wikipedia, it seems he was a lower level ambassador to the UN. Anyway, check out the picture Wikipedia has for Keyes. It’s like he’s saying, “Don’t go there, bitch.”
dslak
Who was the guy who just claimed he built a border fence in San Diego? I thought all these guys were politicians, not contractors or illegal immigrants. Maybe it was Tancredo? He could have been helping the Minutemen.
Evinfuilt
ack, i clicked the link and listened. It was a chorus of cut taxes to increase revenue. Guiliani going for the double shot “Death Penalty on the Death Tax” and mentioning cutting corporate tax. again…
No more, no more please. When Romney makes the most sense, I’m scared (sounds like he’s against cutting taxes for the rich… sounds.)
dslak
In case you didn’t hear him yet, Romney spent twenty-five years in the private sector, biatch.
Jen
He’s saying, “don’t ask me about my daughter. I don’t have a daughter any more.”
dslak
Huckabee says that if we stop allowing people to sue small businesses, major corporations will stop outsourcing jobs. I’m not sure what the relationship is there.
dslak
I never noticed that Rudy had a lisp. All these guys keep talking about the virtues of free trade. Do any of them actually know what it is (Thompson confused it with “fair trade”)?
Tancredo just condemned NAFTA for creating economic turmoil in Mexico. He did however relate that to the evil of teh aliens, so it still fits into what you’d expect of him.
Dreggas
I can’t even see this but for some reason the movie spaceballs keeps popping into my head with regard to the republicans…
dslak
Paul and Thompson were doing the liberty vs. security spiel, but Thompson’s didn’t really defend the security angle well.
All the Republicans reacted with shock when asked to answer a yes or no question on the occurence of climate change. They were all pretty pissed about the fact that they were even asked, except for McCain and Giuliani, who admitted that it is happening and must be addressed.
uh_clem
Is there a web stream of this? Good god I loves me some Alan Keyes.
Of course there is. Alan Keyes in the Mosh Pit circa 2000.
Video here
Backstory here.
dslak
Romney also says that global warming is occurring. Please, please, please get to Keyes.
dslak
Keyes does not disappoint. He claims that he is overlooked because he fights against the elite and challenges to America’s sovereignty. When it was pointed out that he didn’t answer the question, he said that he opposed the global warming which was caused by politicians’ hot air. That was kinda funny.
Huckabee is taking the biblical stewards approach, then suggested that climate change might not be happening because it was so cold in Iowa.
Davis X. Machina
Romney is like some weird hybrid of Max Headroom and Crocker Jarmon…although my wife says Guy Smiley…
dslak
Oh, the guy claiming to have built the fences around San Diego was Duncan Hunter. He looks like Huckabee to me, but that’s probably because the C-Span3 window is so small and can’t be enlarged.
dslak
Tancredo just claimed that the US has unlimited legal immigration. That’s just retarded. The US has limits on the number of immigrants per year, plus quotas according to region.
Huckabee’s claiming he grew up in a shack in the bayou, and isn’t it amazing that a guy like him can grow up to be president?
demkat620
Is it possible that every flavor of crazy is on display? That any of these people were or are any where near the levers of power should scare the crap out of everyone.
That being said, lets hear more from Alan Keyes.
Bob In Pacifica
Now that Huckabee has waxed so eloquently on his knowledge of Mormons, perhaps he’ll wow the audience with his knowledge of those cloven-hooved Jews who drink the blood of Christian babies.
dslak
Keyes just demaned that he be allowed to respond to an education question, that suggested that he was only allowed 30 seconds (instead of the 60 given to those directly asked) because everyone was afraid of what he had to say.
The problem with education funding, according to Keyes, is that we took God out of the schools, and children won’t learn anything about science, history, or what’s right until we force them all to pray to the right God.
cleek
CNN.com has a story about the debate, but they don’t mention Keyes and they’ve cropped him out of the photo they’re using.
more biased MSM treachery!
Tsulagi
Just saw a little of the debate streaming. Looks like Keyes got the far right podium for the designated crazy that Paul always got before.
Keyes just showed he earned it. Thought he was being ignored so demanded to speak on education. Said the problem with public education is allowing judicial activists to drive God out of the classroom. His entire answer was looney. The moderator then went to Paul who in comparison sounded calm and reasonable. Paul should be happy Keyes is there.
dslak
I have to run now, so no more updates (and no more Keyes for me)! Somebody else please keep Dreggas entertained.
Tsulagi
Heresy from Paul! Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.
Tsulagi
Romney: Fuck Global Warming, he’s the guy to end Global Jihad! Good choice, NRO.
The Commander Guy
Keyes spent 30 seconds lambasting the moderator over the fact that the other candidates got 30 seconds extra to answer a question.
clone12
Thompson might be correct in saying 40% of the people don’t pay income tax,
That 40% being, you know, retired, under 18, stay-at-home spouses, or just plain unemployed.
What was Thompson’s point?
Mark S.
Why only 30 seconds? ‘Cause if the man gave me any more, he would consider that welfare.
Seriously, can someone please explain to me what Keyes is doing here?
Grand Moff Texan
What was Thompson’s point?
He’s wondering when that nice Negro girl is going to bring him his oatmeal.
.
Tsulagi
Keyes: He’s the one “to restore the credibility of the Republican Party.” Great standup comedy, Alan.
Rudy tried to top. Said he would have an absolutely transparent WH. Sure, Rudy. Used the word “transparent” about 10 times.
Okay, the streaming challenged Dreggas will have to get his updates elsewhere, I’m out.
Dreggas
Ahhh…good times. Thanks guys. I appreciate it.
Z
OOOOOH! This is great!! I have to catch the re-broadcast!! Yah!
Michael D.
Did you see the look on Keyes’ face when the moderator stopped him????
Jake
It’ll be on CSPAN 2 later tonight. Start thinking up the rules for the drinking games.
I wouldn’t pick the words “Immigrant” or “Immigration” unless you’ve got a cast-iron liver.
dslak
But Keyes wanted 60 seconds for a question that wasn’t even directed to him. He was lucky the moderator even gave him 30. He seemed to think that everybody else in the room was psychic, since he thought that the reason he didn’t get to talk all the time was because everybody was afraid of what he had to say.
On the contrary, I wanted to hear it, and all of it!
The Other Steve
Anybody who supports the Fair Tax is obviously far smarter the rest of us simple folks, and as such should be made God Emperor.
Alan Keyes for God Emperor!
Cyrus
I don’t find it hard to believe either, really. I don’t pay income tax, if getting a refund counts as not paying. I don’t know how many people are in my position and anecdote != data and all that, but there have to be at least a few.
Jen
It’s possible, but don’t forget about payroll taxes. People who don’t have enough income to pay income taxes are still paying payroll taxes, which is a big bite out of their paycheck. Sometimes they break out that “poor people don’t pay income tax” thing so you’ll think that the working poor get to keep all of their take-home pay, when that isn’t true.
dslak
Okay, so maybe Thompson is right. I don’t recall what his point was when he cited that statistic. Maybe that not enough people were being taxed? But that doesn’t seem like a very GOP thing to say. Unless he meant something like “Why aren’t poor folk and young rascals paying more taxes, so we can ease the burden on the wealthy?”
Andrew
Jeebus people, the “doesn’t pay income tax” is one of the oldest and stupidest Republican talking points in the playbook. As if payroll, state, and local taxes don’t exist.
dslak
Aside from Keyes, the fact that all the candidates seemed to think the way to eliminate the current deficit was simply to cut taxes (especially corporate taxes, at that!) was the craziest thing to come out of this debate.
No sane person could seriously think that high tax rates were the reason the US is currently spending at a deficit.
GOP faithful
Takes a deep gulp of Laffer gas…..
(Hee! Hee! Hee!)
No, silly Dhimmis! Cut taxes! Cut them all! Government revenue will go sky high! (Giggle! Snort!)
Dennis - SGMM
Did the debate start with a little bitty car circling the stage and then it stopped all of the candidates got out one at a time wearing big floppy shoes and red rubber noses?
Michael D.
I’m just impressed that John McCain has been reading my blog!
dslak
NBC’s Chuck Todd claims that Alan Keyes ruined this debate. Au contraire! He’s the only thing that made it enjoyable.
Ed Drone
” Zifnab Says:
Popcorn? Check.
Napkins to clean up all the spit-takes? Check.
Something to throw at the TV? Check.
I’m ready.”
I just had a thought. Someone should make nerf dummies of various candidates (or just generic donkeys and heffalumps) to through at the TV during election events. They could package them with drinking game instructions (“choose two topics from column A and three from column B, and take a drink when someone uses that word, etc.”). There’s a mint to be made if someone gets going. I can’t draw or sew worth a damn or I’d make up some samples and start trolling the toy companies to see if anyone bites.
I’m also sure someone else has such a product, but I just don’t know about it. In any case, if someone wants to start a company, be sure to credit me with the idea.
That’s all.
Ed
Jake
Laffer Gas gets Pun o th’ Week.
Bruce Moomaw
Word is out from every observer (including John Podhoretz) that, yup, Keyes wrecked the whole thing. Back in 2000, as I recall, he threatened to go on a hunger strike if they didn’t let him participate. This time, the GOP just may take him up on the offer.
cbear
Wouldn’t it be great to be backstage and see Keyes interacting with the other candidates and their wives after the debate? I wonder how he and the fornicatress Nathan get along?
I kept hoping Alan would take that next little step- reach in his pocket… and fling an aborted fetus down on the stage in front of Mitt or Rudy.
Dreggas
Fixed.
Cindrella Ferret
Fear and loathing in Des Moines… The Battle of the Irrelevant Political Midgets as it were. But, I wouldn’t be opposed to watching an edited version that only contains the Alan Keyes moments. It would be like watching one of those catastrophe highlight shows.
dslak
Cindrella, look no further.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
Wow.
dslak
Here is a video of pure, concentrated Alan Keyes (be careful, it’s dangerous in high doses!).
jake
Yeah, like one time I had this big, steaming carefully constructed pile of dog shit and some bastard threw a cow pat on there and the whole thing was ruined.
Ted
I absolutely love Alan Keyes. Who else can cram that much batshittery into such short periods of time? He delivers his political opinions (such as they are) in almost a poetry that sounds like Maya Angelou on speed.
Brachiator
This sounds like a pathetic variation of some of the complaints about the GOP YouTube debate. The evil liberal media made the Republicans included Keyes in a deliberate attempt to reveal the depth of the batshit crazy that runs through the heart of the current crop of GOP presidential candidates.
ThymeZone
Well, what’s really hot today, per Kevin Drum, is that Huckabee is quoted as saying that Fair Tax would “make poor people rich.”
Drum asserts that Huckabee knows nothing about anything and just makes shit up. The Fair Tax gaffe is a classic.
Forget Keyes, he’s a clown. He has about the same political viability as Fair Tax. Your real concern is Huckabee. Arguably the dumbest man who ever ran for president.
Psycheout
You guys should enjoy this. Fred Thompson refused to raise his hand. He stood up to the moderator. This makes him strong! (Comment #5)
Uh, no.
ABC sez Huck won because he wasn’t gutted like a fish. That’s probably about right. He’s got the momentum right now and nobody sucker punched him.
Johnny Pez
What you were seeing today, folks, was the Overton Window operating in real time. Add one really crazy candidate and all the other candidates respond by becoming crazier themselves.
Iamspartacus
“A seminole moment”? Does this mean Uncle Fred is part Native American? Or only that the wingnuts are illiterate?
Prospero
And it will also reduce America’s energy consumption to zero.
jake
In other words, Huckabee took the standard GOP line and stated it in plainer language:
Step 1. I’ll do something to the economy that sane economists say won’t work or won’t work for middle to lower class individuals, but trust me, it does.
Step 2. ???
Step 3. Profit!
grumpy realist
If the US elects any of these clowns it deserves the mess that it will get.
The very fact that any of them is being taken seriously just shows how badly we’ve slipped.
Time I guess to finish learning Chinese….