Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

People are complicated. Love is not.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

In my day, never was longer.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

The words do not have to be perfect.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

You are here: Home / Humorous / Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

by | 37 Comments

This post is in: 

“…in response to the controversy over the CIA’s waterboarding videotapes, President Bush reaffirmed his Administration’s opposition to videotaping. ” Link

Quote of the Day II:

Pope Benedict XVI has launched a surprise attack on climate change prophets of doom, warning them that any solutions to global warming must be based on firm evidence and not on dubious ideology.

He then went on to talk about God, creation, loaves & fishes, walking on water, raising the dead, etc.

Update: Turns out that The Daily Mail didn’t quite get it right. No surprise there, I guess. The Pope’s comments have been published. You can read them here. Thanks to Sock Puppet of the Great Satan for the comment & link.

Reader Interactions

37Comments

  2. 2.

    Zifnab

    Pope Benedict XVI has launched a surprise attack on climate change prophets of doom, warning them that any solutions to global warming must be based on firm evidence and not on dubious ideology theology.

    RAINBOWS MEAN NO MORE FLOODING, BITCHES!

  3. 3.

    r€nato

    He then went on to talk about God, creation, loaves & fishes, walking on water, raising the dead, etc.

    zing!

    If you think THAT is nutty, let me tell you about how a virgin gave birth and how crackers and wine are literally transformed into flesh and blood just because a guy in robes mutters some incantations over them.

  4. 4.

    Randolph Fritz

    That is…very bad news. The Vatican is enormously influential in Latin America and Africa, and the idea…

    Oh. He’s opposed to contraception. Because, bottom line, no ecological policy can work without contraception; if the human population keeps growing, no policy we can make is going to prevent ecological disaster.

  5. 5.

    pharniel

    Randolph, there’s a quick and easy solution! mining the moon. or any other off-world in-system resource.
    and with the extra people we don’t even have to be particularly careful about it.
    88% casualties? no problem. crunch all you want, they’ll make more
    (/snark)

  6. 6.

    gypsy howell

    Pope Benedict XVI has launched a surprise attack on climate change

    Launching hundreds of papal missives, the Vatican’s first strike completely disabled Climate Change’s ability to counterattack. Thousands of Vatican Guards, camouflaged in in colorful pantaloons and black ballet slippers and armed with high-tech pikes, surged into the capital city, engaging and overwhelming a small insurgent force of climatologists, before finally pulling down a huge statue of their dictator Al Gore.

    Bush noted on a used napkin to Condi Rice “Let freedom reign rain.”

  7. 7.

    Sock Puppet of the Great Satan

    This is the spin of the UK’s Daily Mail, which is a pretty tortured reading of the papal message.

    From http://www.oecumene.radiovaticana.org/en1/Articolo.asp?c=173082

    ‘Respecting the environment does not mean considering material or animal nature more important than man. Rather, it means not selfishly considering nature to be at the complete disposal of our own interests, for future generations also have the right to reap its benefits and to exhibit towards nature the same responsible freedom that we claim for ourselves. Nor must we overlook the poor, who are excluded in many cases from the goods of creation destined for all.”

    “Humanity today is rightly concerned about the ecological balance of tomorrow. It is important for assessments in this regard to be carried out prudently, in dialogue with experts and people of wisdom, uninhibited by ideological pressure to draw hasty conclusions, and above all with the aim of reaching agreement on a model of sustainable development capable of ensuring the well-being of all while respecting environmental balances. If the protection of the environment involves costs, they should be justly distributed, taking due account of the different levels of development of various countries and the need for solidarity with future generations.”

    “In this regard, it is essential to “sense” that the earth is “our common home” and, in our stewardship and service to all, to choose the path of dialogue rather than the path of unilateral decisions. Further international agencies may need to be established in order to confront together the stewardship of this “home” of ours; more important, however, is the need for ever greater conviction about the need for responsible cooperation.”

    SHorter Ratzinger: More international agencies may be neeed to mitigate climate change. Don’t get blinded by ideology, but listen to experts in the field. Don’t act unilaterally, but multilaterally. Costs of adjustment to mitigate/retard climate change should be distributed equitably. And God hasn’t given us dispensation to trash the planet: we have to think of those after us.

    The wingnuts at the Daily Mail think it’s directed at the IPCC and the environmentalists. I beg to differ.

  9. 9.

    demimondian

    Sock Puppet has it right — remember what the Daily Mail competes for.

    Michael D., congratulations on showing your shallow idiocy again. We’ve got the FAIR tax (which isn’t, as a tiny bit of study would have shown), and now using the Daily Mail as a reliable interpreter (when the encyclical has been published, and a tiny bit of reading would have shown you that it didn’t say what was claimed). Can we get the trifecta?

  10. 10.

    Punchy

    Who the fuck cares what an 80-sumpin wrinkly in a white robe nicknamed “Eggs” says about climate change? What’s next, a papal excoriation on The Proper Way to pix message an ex-girlfriend using an iPhone and Flickr?

    Really, would any of you listen to Grandpa’s advice on how best to download MP3s? So who’s supposed to care when Eggs The Geezer goes gonzo on global warming?

  11. 11.

    Grand Moff Texan

    The pope should stick to what the pope knows best, like protecting child sexual predators and carving out more liebensraum for the Master Race.
    .

  12. 12.

    Jake

    Michael, you really need to update. Turn this into a post about accuracy in the media.

    And yes, I am aware that expecting accuracy from the UK Daily Mail is like expecting it from the NYPost, humor me.

  13. 13.

    Zifnab

    Who the fuck cares what an 80-sumpin wrinkly in a white robe nicknamed “Eggs” says about climate change?

    About a billion Catholics, many living in 3rd World Countries where education is scarce and superstition runs on overdrive. The Pope, like it or not, has a huge impact on how the world acts collectively.

    Although, after Sock Puppet’s reanalysis, I think this might be a better interpretation. Ratzinger and JP2 before him have historically been respectably good about preaching a populist and community-friendly message.

    A few of their policies – contraception for instance – are still stuck in the dark ages, but the Catholic Church has been markedly more progressive than a number of other religions and secular governments I could name.

  15. 15.

    TheFountainHead

    I’d like to put a copyright on the next big craze out of the San Fernando Valley: Waterboarding Porn.

  16. 16.

    Dreggas

    No Michael I think this is the quote of the day even if it is from yesterday:

    “Which includes me, by the way,” he adds. “Unfortunately, I’ve had my own sins that I’ve had to confess, and deal with, and try to overcome.” – Rudy Giuliani

    I call it his swaggert moment…

  18. 18.

    Dreggas

    TheFountainHead Says:

    I’d like to put a copyright on the next big craze out of the San Fernando Valley: Waterboarding Porn.

    I thought that was why they had bukkake?

  19. 19.

    Vladi G

    Neither of those hold a candle to Huckabee’s latest:

    I think we ought to be out there talking about ways to reduce energy consumption and waste. And we ought to declare that we will be free of energy consumption in this country within a decade, bold as that is.

    That’s right, bitches. Zero energy consumption! Come to think of it, if Huckabee’s dream is realized, you literally won’t be able to hold a candle.

  21. 21.

    Dreggas

    Vladi G Says:

    That’s right, bitches. Zero energy consumption! Come to think of it, if Huckabee’s dream is realized, you literally won’t be able to hold a candle.

    Well after the rapture and armageddon there won’t be anyone left to consume energy now will there moonbat?

  22. 22.

    Jake

    “Which includes me, by the way,” he adds. “Unfortunately, I’ve had my own sins that I’ve had to confess, and deal with, and try to overcome.”

    The Ghoulster then began to croon: “And regrets/I’ve had a few/but then again/too few to investigate.”

  23. 23.

    Zifnab

    Well after the rapture and armageddon there won’t be anyone left to consume energy now will there moonbat?

    It’s worth noting that the Lake of Fire does burn, but it does not consume. Maybe Huckabee wants to use this as an alternative energy source?

  24. 24.

    Dreggas

    demimondian Says:

    So, Dreggas…how long until there is a piece of waterboarding porn, do you think?

    Actually, I know of a place that has a St. Catherine’s wheel…it was a device upon which a victim would be tied to spread eagle, then spun until their head was in a bucket of water (they were upside down). Of course there is no bucket.

    That being said I don’t think their will ever be waterboarding porn because you’d never get someone to volunteer to do it and while I know some people into breath play, that doesn’t involve drowning. Sadly though there does seem to be a market for it…

  25. 25.

    Punchy

    About a billion Catholics, many living in 3rd World Countries where education is scarce and superstition runs on overdrive

    Sure, and those 3rd World countries (Mississippi, listen up) contribute what % to global warming?

    I understand that Pope Benny holds emotional sway in Botswana, but since most Botsies are busy making rice cakes and ammo, their attitude and response to GW is unimportant, IMO.

  26. 26.

    Jon H

    Pope Benedict XVI has launched a surprise attack on climate change

    Of course he did. He used to run the Inquisition. And nobody expects…

  27. 27.

    demimondian

    The real problem the Benedict is addressing is the likelihood that the developed and emerging economies will choose solutions to global warming that disproportionately harm the poor. That’s both likely, and particularly unjust, since, as you say, the folk in Botswana are not major contributors to global pollution, much less global warming.

  28. 28.

    TheFountainHead

    That being said I don’t think their will ever be waterboarding porn because you’d never get someone to volunteer to do it and while I know some people into breath play, that doesn’t involve drowning. Sadly though there does seem to be a market for it…

    If there can be a genre of porn for men who like to be crushed by oversize women, then there can, and WILL be waterboarding porn!

  29. 29.

    Dreggas

    TheFountainHead Says:

    If there can be a genre of porn for men who like to be crushed by oversize women, then there can, and WILL be waterboarding porn!

    The crushing stuff? Yeah possibly, but the thing is, at least in that case, it’s a fantasy thing. Sure there’s the whole genre of smothering/queening and what not but they let the person breathe and it is erotic. There’s nothing really erotic about drowning, it just sucks.

  30. 30.

    HyperIon

    Zifnab: It’s worth noting that the Lake of Fire does burn, but it does not consume. Maybe Huckabee wants to use this as an alternative energy source?

    your best work in weeks….

  31. 31.

    Dreggas

    HyperIon Says:

    Zifnab: It’s worth noting that the Lake of Fire does burn, but it does not consume. Maybe Huckabee wants to use this as an alternative energy source?

    your best work in weeks….

    Agreed, hey zif, will the company in charge of producing energy from this new source be called sinnergy or is that what the new energy will be called?

  33. 33.

    Calous

    It might be relevant in this regard that the Daily Mail is referred to in the UK as either the Hate Mail or the Daily Bigot, or it might not.

    Whatever the wrongs are of the Catholic Church, in the last 3 decades it has in general emphasized its acceptance of mainstream science, including climate change and evolution.

  35. 35.

    Andy K

    … how crackers and wine are literally transformed into flesh and blood just because a guy in robes mutters some incantations over them.

    And an altar boy rings a magical bell. Ya fergot the part where the kid rings the bell!

    Ah, the transubstantiation… 2/3 through the Mass…aka “The Home-Stretch”. An hour and 50 minutes until kickoff.

  36. 36.

    gex

    Well, the church only admitted the earth revolves around the sun in 1992. So they’ll admit anthropogenic factors in global climate change when? It’s hard to say, but it will most likely be centuries after it is proven beyond a reasonable doubt even to today’s deniers.

  37. 37.

    BIRDZILLA

    BEWARE OF FALSE PROPHETS FOR THEY ARE BUT RAVENING WOLVES and just imagine these radicals will return us to the pagan idea of GAIA and this earth mother poppycock bull kaka and AL GORE is the high preist of a pagan new age cult of earth worshippers and he will have us sacrifice virgins to his pagan gods he woships AL GORE IS EVIL IS HE THE ANTICHRIST?

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