Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Our messy unity will be our strength.

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

If you’re gonna whine, it’s time to resign!

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

“A king is only a king if we bow down.” – Rev. William Barber

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

We’re watching the self-immolation of the leading world power on a level unprecedented in human history.

You are here: Home / Humorous / Smart Clerk

Smart Clerk

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Watching CNN this morning. Man robs Dunkin’ Donuts. Clerk grabs tip jar and start beating the guy over the head. Robber leaves with nothing.

Brave clerk, huh? Nope. He did it, not because he was brave, but because he knew the security tapes would end up on YouTube and he didn’t want to look like a pussy!

When a robber started taking cash from his register over the weekend, Dunkin’ Donuts employee Dustin Hoffmann fought back by clobbering the man with a ceramic mug. But Hoffmann admits he was less worried about the stolen cash than how he might look on the video-sharing site YouTube.

When your parents name you “Dustin Hoffman” you already have enough grief in your life. You don’t need YouTube to exacerbate things.

Reader Interactions

18Comments

  3. 3.

    myiq2xu

    WTF?

    Somebody tried to stick-up a donut shop? Aren’t they safe anymore?

    What’s next, robbing the police station?

  4. 4.

    jake

    I’d say if he was calm enough to think about UTube, he was pretty brave.

    And Confederate Yanker will cluck: “If only the clerk was packing heat, there’d be one less criminal on the street!” in 5…4…3…

  5. 5.

    JR

    John Derbyshire has finally found someone to be proud of. Within a week, he’ll complain that more robbery victims should attack their assailants with tip jars, and decry the pussification of Western society that has allowed us to reach a point where unarmed people don’t try to fight armed robbers.

  7. 7.

    myiq2xu

    If only the clerk was packing heat, there’d be one less criminal on the street!

    Let’s make gun possession mandatory for all non-felon adults. Sure, things will be pretty scary for a few years, but when the smoke clears, the survivors will be smarter and very polite!

    Think of it as evolution in action.

  16. 16.

    DavidTC

    Like I’ve been saying:

    If everyone, when confronted with the choice ‘Your money or your life?’, said ‘My life, asshat. Go ahead and shoot me.’, we’d have maybe 2% more murders, but something like 99% less armed robberies. (And if they were willing to shoot you to get your money, they were willing to shoot you to keep you from identifying them afterwards, and you had a sucky chance of surviving anyway.)

    Of course, everyone in society would have to do that, which is unlikely, and I’m not sure if I’d encourage physically attacking the robbers, as that risks the gun accidentally going off.

    One place this concept would work would be to change the automatic police response to anyone holding a hostage should be to shoot them, period. Yell out a 15 second warning, and then no talking, no negotiating, no nothing except a countdown with a gun pointed at them. If they haven’t released their hostage by then, shoot them. If need be, shoot them through the hostage.

    Within five years absolutely no one would ever take hostages anymore.

  17. 17.

    WarrenS

    A colleague of mine played in a band with a trumpet player whose dad had encouraged him to play trumpet…by naming him Miles Davis and paying for lessons. Dustin Hoffman, huh?

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