I am not sure if you heard it or not, but there has been a rumor circulating that now that the semester is over, I was assaulted viciously by a left-wing bottle of Scotch and a box of cigars.
I am here to tell you that this was a hoax that I fabricated out of nothing. In fact, it was I who planned on assaulting the Scotch.
Consider this another open thread.
John S.
What kind of Scotch?
Single malt? Blended? Inquiring minds want to know, John.
demkat620
I felt the need to assault a margarita myself.
Andrew
I expect to see John Cole, plus 3, posting for the rest of the week.
Jay
Wait, wait…If I drank a whole bottle of scotch, would that make me “plus 1?”
The Other Steve
Who the hell is Nava and why do I care?
wingnuts to iraq
I found his email address doing a quick person search at Princeton.
My email:
Subject: “Don’t beat yourself up over this…”
Message: “oh wait… you already did! Ha ha!”
What a jerk.
Ninerdave
Scotch has a well know liberal bias.
Wilfred
I read this here the other day:
Then today I read this:
And I’m thinking, like, I don’t get something important, or something. Y’know?
Zifnab
David Broder would call you unserious and comment on your crude language and bad grammar. Every time a patriotic US soldier takes ground in Afghanistan, we cede away another portion of turf for future patriotic US soldiers to take in the future. Thus it is required that America periodically abandon said turf to insurgents who we can then assault sometime in the future.
D-Chance.
I love Sully’s post on the subject… an “Insta-embarrassment”, with the link to Reynolds.
rawshark
I learned just recently that if you go under general anesthesia for a surgery you won’t crap for about a week. And when you do finally go you crap a school bus.
Jay
Mr. Fair and Balanced and Unafraid himself, Brit Hume, still reported Nava story as fact at 6:32 pm Eastern, some 22 minutes ago.
Dumbass.
Chris
oh, man… I remember those douchebags in college. Good times.
The version of that douchebag I knew was a 6’3″
manboy, who’s pride and joy was his 60 gigabytes of porn (a dump-truck’s worth in 2003).His star-worthy achievement was assaulting a 5’2″ girl that he liked romantically (because she wouldn’t date him, of course), and losing the fight.
Dug Jay
Yes, Jay, he did do that and approximately 15 minutes later he interrupted regular routine to offer a correction of that earlier erroneous report….something that almost never happens on other media.
demimondian
SO, um. srv…I was wondering what you were thinking about Harry Reid’s maneuver this evening, when he rose in opposition to the Intelligence bill.
Oh, and I was wondering what you thought of the House bill — rammed through by Pelosi — which didn’t include immunity?
Could it be that you…jumped to conclusions? Were an impatient, posturing, hyperventilating -nimrod- gasbag?
maxbaer (not the original)
Please don’t abuse your alcohol, John, treat it gently.
Robert Johnston
Indeed. I would suggest gently caressing a bottle of 18-year-old Talisker and telling it you love it before opening it up and partaking of its orgasmic delights.
RSA
I was most impressively assaulted over the course of a few months by a bottle of 25-year-old Macallan, an extravagant gift from my wife on a special occasion. Otherwise I’m a fan of smokier Scotches, in particular Lagavulin and Talisker.
grumpy realist
RSA, go for the Laphroig. My favorite.
Oban ain’t that bad either.
(Geez, who would think that we’d have so many single malt devotees on this board?)
John Cole
I am actually sipping a couple fingers of laphroiag and leveling my UD mage. Kinda busy atm corpse-camping this ne shadow priestess who had the nerve to attack me while I was fighting.
Ninerdave
Griefer.
demimondian
Grrr. Talkisker, Laphoiag, grr. I can’t drink any of them any more. I hate all of you.
RSA
I like Laphroaig; it would be next on my list of my favorites. Years ago my wife and I drove along the Whisky Trail, which was fun, and tried some different Scotches (by the glass) that we’ve never run into again. (Never got down to Islay, though.) Macallan is a good compromise between my taste and my wife’s, it turns out.
DougJ
I just discovered a really drinkable $3 bottle of wine “La Brasserie Rouge.” It’s like the entire nation of France is beating me over the head with a baguette.
Jen
I think there’s one of them that conveys one square foot of peat bog in Ireland with every bottle purchased. Or is that whiskey? I do the girly drinks myself. I dunno. Somebody can find it I”m sure.
Ninerdave
Looks like Dodd sucessfully filibustered telecom immunity for now.
I cannot believe Reid wouldn’t accept Dodd’s hold, guess that privilege is only for GOP senators.
…and people wonder why the Dem leadership and Congress has such a low approval.
jcricket
Self: I wonder, why is John Cole single?
And I have my answer.
John Cole
She attacked me three times- once with a pally and a shaman in her group. The other two times while I was fighting. She had it coming.
Ninerdave
Oh and a second vote for Talisker.
chopper
last time i went under a general anasthetic i pooped a cornish game hen.
jcricket
Dems have an amazing ability to so internalize the Republican framing of issues that they fear a principled stance in opposition (even if they can’t pass their bill b/c of filibusters) is a winning stance.
The American public is solidly, if not massively, on the side the Dems profess to be on, on every issue. And yet the Dems barely even attempt to press forward with their agenda.
Cowards.
Please also note the answer to this is not less Democrats, but more and better Democrats. Starting with the WH and increased majorities in 2008. After that, let’s begin working (like the interest groups on the right) the long, hard slog into turning the Dems into what we want them to be.
chopper
40 of olde english?
jcricket
I pooped a hammer.
I ate a lava lamp. It wasn’t real lava.
jcricket
Geez, someone call the “waaaahmbulance” for Mr. Cole.
grumpy realist
Hence why I suggest we nickname the Democrats the Mensheviks for the time being.
Sheesh, they’re so scared of being called mean names by Ann Coulter they just reflexively fall into a cringing position.
srv
Right, no thanks to Reid. He got slapped today. Ignoring Dodd’s hold and something happened. At least the Jane Hamshers of the Left, Huffingtons and Greenwald fans did something about it, while you and The Other Steve sat around whining about anybody who thought this was a bad thing.
Whether they made the difference and brought more support for Dodd, or whether Reid saw it as an opportunity to shake down more money from the telcos – we’ll have to wait.
demimondian
Chopper — I can’t drink at all except in tiny, tiny quantities. I’ve developed a sensitivity to ethanol.
Grmbl.
demimondian
Hey, look! Srv’s been studying with the fine folks in the white house.
See, kids, that’s called “moving the goal posts”. It’s one of the best time-tested tools of a burgeoning demagogue — I think srv shows great potential, don’t you?
jcricket
Can we rename the fetal position the Harry Reid position?
Seriously, Dems need to get it through their thick fucking skulls that the righties will be mean and nasty no matter what the Dems do. The best bet is to ignore the righties in general and stake your position, and occasionally tell them to FOAD (or call them morons/worst people, whatever). But for all the rightie BS about appeasement, it is they who are the ones with whom appeasement is a bad strategy.
Conservatively Liberal
Anyone else think that Harry Reid ought to lose his majority leader status and be replaced with Chris Dodd? I am glad to see that at least one Senator has it right on FISA. Bush says that if FISA is not passed that American lives (oh my!) will be endangered, yet he says that he will veto any bill that does not offer retroactive telecom protection. So Bush is willing to endanger American lives in his quest to protect the telecoms?
Why does Bush hate the American people?
John, lubricate away! I will expect a quality rant from you shortly.
demimondian
Telling them to FOAD is exactly what happened today — and, oh my Lord, was Orrin Hatch upset about it. He’d never had the plebes actually show the temerity to say “you’re not getting what you want…and, um, we’re in the majority. Now go away.”
He was utterly beside himself.
srv
The goalposts of your mind:
canuckistani
I like Highland Park, but I’m just an auslander.
rawshark
I just killed a guy with a trident.
Gonna find my baby gonna hold her tight gonna have some more liquid vicodan…errr, ummmm I mean have some afternoon delight. Ding! med time seeya, gonna sleep now. When I wake up The Vikes Adrian Perterson will have scored ten points ands won me round 1 of the playoffs. I hope.
jcricket
Well then, tomorrow, and the next day and the day after that, the Republicans can FOAD. Ignore what they say and tell the American public that it’s the Republicans who are ruining this country.
Then say it again, but more forcefully.
And when the Republicans filibuster, you keep putting up bills that make them say no to children’s healthcare, bringing the troops home, enforcing the laws, increasing the police force, etc.
Worked fine for Republicans, and they’re fucking lunatics, so with some competent economic, social and scientific theories behind the Democrats ideas achieving those things actually will make things better.
Jake
And … there goes my Geek-O-Meter.
jcricket
I think with Republicans these days they’ve basically taken their goal posts and gone home. Or after you score/kick a field goal they basically say “I wasn’t ready, do over” or “no you didn’t, neener neener neener, I can’t hear you, lalalalalalalalalalala”
Again, time to stop thinking Lucy’s gonna let us kick the football. This time when we run towards her, we kick her in the head instead.
Krista
Oban is a good time. If any of you have an opportunity to try Glen Breton Rare, do so. No, it’s not allowed to be called Scotch (as it’s not made in Scotland), but it’s really damn good stuff.
Tsulagi
Show some respect, you don’t “assault” good Scotch, you bond with it. It’s a give and take relationship. At least you’re drinking a decent single malt. And I shouldn’t even have to say that if you put water or ice in it, you’re gay. Known truth.
BTW, if you consider a trip to the Caribbean in the future, think of St. Martin. It has a lot going for it. Plus, the island is completely duty and tax free so good liquor is at unbelievably cheap prices. Also complete selections of real Cuban cigars. Bliss.
Jen
The husband says it is Laphroaig that gives you the square foot of bog. From their website:
Note to John, this link is probably AT LEAST two weeks old.
JakeB
I have a partiality to Dalwhinnie myself.
A good scotch is certainly on my list of things that would make me believe in God, if I were the type to be able to.
D-Chance.
Yeah, whatever. You people have been sending the same old dinosaurs back term after term after term after term for the last 3+ decades.
demimondian
OK, kids, now I want you to see another fine sophistry in action. Remember that in our last episode, srv had been called out on moving the goal posts. Now, in this session, I want you to notice the following use of the Composition Fallacy, the claim that a property of one member of a class is necessarily a property of all members of a class.
Statement one:
Challenged about the truth of the statement, srv responds with a quotation from a post by The Other Steve:
Notice the Composition Fallacy at work here — TOS said something, srv doesn’t like the candidate I’m supporting for the Democratic nomination, so I must have said the same thing.
I think srv is showing great promise as a demagogue. What do you think, kids?
Sojourner
Absolutely wrong. A lawsuit (preferably class action) is likely to be the most effective way to find out exactly the scope and magnitude of the spying that went on against the American people.
If we had real statesmen in the Congress, they would conduct a real investigation. But we don’t, so the courts are the next best thing.
Sojourner
Does anyone take the Dems seriously anymore?
uh_clem
Talisker, Oban, and Laphroig are all worthy quaffs, but don’t hold a candle to Lavagulin.
Speysides are pleasant enough, but aren’t really scotch – more like scotch for people who don’t like scotch.
Anyway, the best are well aged, like the story of Justin Zatkoff. Enjoy!
Breschau
Laphroig Quarter Cask
Caol Ila 18 year old
Talisker Distiller’s Edition
Isle of Jura Superstition
If you can find them, buy them.
Also, check out the website for the Scotch Malt Whisky Society. They sell bottles of single cask, taken straight from the cask – no water, no additives, nothing – cask into the bottle.
Seanly
That’s why I play on a PvE realm. You can only get ganked & corpse-camped if you turn on the PvP flag. No, I am married; why do you ask, gentle readers? John, glad to see you have a Horde alt. Restores my faith in you.
Of course, maybe she was flirting & wanted you to stop being such a Nice Guy? Although chances are the gamer behind the NE is an overweight, just-about-middle aged male like myself.
PaulW
It’s those frickin Cuban cigars! You shoulda gone with Tampa cigars! You foolish fool!
Angry Sister
Pshaw. Yes, Pshaw I say!
Irish whiskey is best.
Scotch?
Peat?
Never trust a whiskey flavored by dirt.
srv
The statement wasn’t about your choice of candidate, it was about your in-kind assaults when your joined with The Other Steve.
You clearly don’t view the pending FISA issue as a major concern.
Then you go off and start saying non-sensical shit trying to equate Ron Paul supporters to supposed Randians. What has that got to do with anything?
Your responses are so nonsensical, and you want to call me a demagogue? Me thinks you’ve hoisted yourself on your own stinky britches.
The Other Steve
WHO CARES ABOUT THE PHONE COMPANIES!?
Stop fighting politics in the courts. It’s not the place for it, and you will NEVER win.
The Other Steve
It’s not. The major concern is why we haven’t held investigations into what the Whitehouse authorized.
This perpetual outrage over insignifigant crap doesn’t help anyone.
rawshark
Dr Johnny Fever (aka Johnny Sunshine) does.
DougJ
What do people think of the 18 year Talisker as opposed to the 10 yr? I realize that purist prefers the 10 yr but that 18 yr is so smooth.
DougJ
I love this one. I tried it when I was in Edinburg last summer and was knocked out. I had never heard of it before, but it now may be favorite of all.
I’ll have to try that Jura you mention as well. Your other recs are on the money.
demimondian
So your concern was with an imaginary behavior instead of a controversial, but at least real, one? I…see. Well, at least you’re a thoroughgoing sophist, if nothing else.
Now, kids, this is another great example of sophistry in action. We’ve seen an example of moving the goalposts and an example of the composition fallacy in action. Now, we’re looking at an argument by misdirection, or an “argument through fast talking”. In this particular form of jackalope, the demagogue hopes that by saying a lot of things, the audience will lose track of the fact that he hasn’t really offered any arguments in support of his claims.
Tomorrow’s quiz will cover the four kinds of specious argument that srv has demonstrated for you: the false dichotomy, the argument by misdirection, the composition fallacy, and the argument by shifting the goal posts. The quiz will be worth twenty points, and you’ll be expected to recognize and correctly name examples of each one.
demimondian
I’ve had the 10 year, the 18 year, the 25 year, and, once, the 30 year Talisker. The older they get, the more complex they get; the 30 year was an experience unlike any other.
On the other hand, for a drink in the evening? I’d stick to the 10 year; anything else is a bit of an overkill.
srv
With which government branch would that be? The one with the Democratic majority?
BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
If they can’t do their jobs, why do you have such a visceral hatred for letting citizens take their greivances to the courts?
Sheesh! RP folks are Fascists, but by god you freaking Dems are behind the people.
You and demi, two peas in a pod. Shame.
rachel
Lets have some more posts about booze.
stickler
Oban, Dalwhinnie, Laphroaig: very, very good.
Lagavulin: Nectar of the Gods. Please make sure that as I surrender my soul, somebody puts three drops of Lagavulin on my tongue.
But distilled spirits are in any case distractions from the true evidence that God loves us and wants us to be happy: beer.
DougJ
I’ve heard the older Laphroaig are amazing. But, as someone who likes, but isn’t really a student of, single malt, I’m generally loathe to go over $60 a bottle on the stuff.
The Other Steve
Because the courts don’t change anything. The only way to change public opinion is to fight a battle for public opinion.
The Other Steve
I have a bottle of Glen Rothes 1992 to be opened on January 20, 2009.
Tsulagi
Thanks for that link. I think I just found a Xmas present for myself. With membership you get a “750ml bottle of an extremely rare and unique malt whisky.” Whole lot more payback than I would get by joining the Democratic party.
srv
Bzzt. You missed some obvious hints.
grumpy realist
Reading this thread is like listening to Flanders and Swan in Trial by Centre Court. Booze–FICA–booze–FICA…
Net call!
srv
?
How many times does ppGaz have to tell you to not post drunk or when doing your taxes?
rachel
Anybody here like makkoli?
LiberalTarian
He’s single? Is he cute? *wink*
bago
This is why you name software projects after scotch. They become a business expense. V1 is Cragganmore. V2 is Lagavulin.
RSA
I notice no one has been praising The Glenlivet, the most popular single malt in the U.S. Do others think, like me, that it’s boring and way over-priced?
Bombadil
I’m going to disagree with you on the addition of water. Yes, adding ice to a good single-malt scotch is a hanging offense, but adding a bit of water to a scotch opens it up. It takes away some of the sharpness of the alcohol and allows the other flavors to come through (the alcohol numbs your tongue to the more subtle flavors of the scotch).
If you want to be truly geeky, make sure that when you sip the scotch, you do it in such a way that it lands on the center of your tongue and spreads out from there, rather than hitting the front of your tongue. This way you get all the flavors at the same time.
I’m a big fan of Talisker, but recently tried a Bowmore Cigar Malt which is quite interesting. Bowmore generally ages their single malts in barrels used for bourbon and sherry, mixing them 70% from the bourbon barrels and 30% from the sherry barrels. For the Cigar Malt, they did the reverse — 70% from the sherry barrels, 30% from the bourbons. The result is somewhat sweeter, more of a “dessert” scotch. I wouldn’t name it a favorite, but it’s a great change of pace.
demimondian
srv — you might want to check the batteries on your snark detector, man…
Tim F.
Ech. The thread was going great until you brought that up.
BTW, this blogger’s official editorial position on scotch:
Talisker 10 – blogger’s favorite. Iodine in the sea-whipped peat causes the hair on my chest to grow hair on its chest.
Highland Park – smoooove. Mrs. blogger’s favorite whiskey, and she belonged to the official Scotch Whiskey Society when she worked thereabouts.
Macallan 12 – Consensus favorite. We keep a bottle for uninitiated guests to experience the Platonic Scotch Whiskey.
Punchy
A box of cigars, Johnny? A box? One or 2, maybe. But if you can simulatenously kill a bottle of The Nasty and a score of lung Scuds, more power to ya.
That’s some serious hair growing on that chest.
srv
I thought you’d at least recognize a Modified Chewbacca Defense
DougJ
Did you know that, in fact, gay men consume hard alcohol at several times the rate that straight men do, per capita? I want to say four or five times as much, but I can’t find a link.
When I lived in San Francisco, there were explicitly gay ads for scotch, such as a Johnny Walker one that had a bunch of men drinking JW with the caption “It’s not a lifestyle, it’s a life.”
srv
The more disposable income you have, the more you spend on the drink to clear the palate.
Bombadil
Scotch is made by men who wear what, in other cultures, is considered a skirt. Scotch knows no boundaries — neither gender, orientation, nationality nor race. It is the finest “water of life” on the planet.
Robert Johnston
The 18 yr is a much, much more mellow drink. What I really like about it is that it retains a lox more complexity than other smooth scotches. Then 10 is great when I want to be hit over the head with the peat and iodine like a sack of hammers–which is more often than you’d think–but the 18 is for relaxing and for weaning scotch newbies off the Glenlivet crap (second phase of that plan really, as starting with some variety of Macallan is definitely the way to go).
The 25 yr Talisker is for special occasions.
The various special editions of Talisker are, IMO, relatively underwhelming and not worth the price premium you pay over the 10 and 18 yr. They’re good, but they’re not really special in comparison to the ordinary Talisker bottlings.
demimondian
Seriously — I thought that the so-called Chewbacca Defense was just a special case of the Argument by Fast Talking?
canuckistani
HP is my favourite – the 12YO is outstanding, and the 18 is even better, but I will go on the record saying that I will also accept gifts of Glen Rothes, and also the 18yo Macallan.
Mmmmmmm, booze.
srv
I don’t know. Fast talking is just supposed to limit the time someone has to question. But it should be topical and must have at least have appeared to be true long enough to be accepted. So it should validate a bias or choice.
Chewbacca Defense is just supposed to up-end any argument with an unrelated topic by misdirection.
DougJ
The Distiller’s edition costs the same as the 18 yr.
I think I may live in an area where Scotch is particularly cheap. I can get the 18 yr and Distiller’s edition for $60 and I can get the Highland Park 18 yr for $52.
Robert Johnston
When I last purchased it was something like $65 for the 18 yr and $80 for the Distiller’s edition. I suppose that might be because I didn’t find them in the same store, but after trying them it’s a premium I’d be reluctant to pay for drinking scotch. And when I bought the 175th Anniversary edition the price was over $100, and definitely not worth the premium, even if it fit my budget.
The 25 yr., on the other hand, was well worth the $200. If I had that kind of money to regularly spend on a bottle of scotch, I wouldn’t hesitate to make the 25 yr more than a special occasion drink.
rawshark
Read this today and had a flashback to yesterday.