Modern-day conservatives wholeheartedly support domestic surveillance, torture, detention without a habeas corpus hearing, unchecked executive power, international influence through armed belligerence and pseudo-religious leader cultism. But liberals are sometimes vegetarian, just like Hitler. So we know who carries the fascist flag around here.
Discuss.
***Update***
BTW, Malkinite Mulsim hate is totally unlike superficially similar fascist scapegoat demagoguery because her internment camps don’t specifically involve death. Or if they do it’s by accident. Unless a suspect was tortured to death, and those guys were asking for it.
BTW X2, I can’t fucking wait for the first wingtard to show up and call Godwin.
Jen
I really wish John had posted this so I could say, “didn’t this come out like, two weeks ago?” He’d understand.
Warren Terra
Did you know that the Nazis wore shoes? On their feet, just as many liberals do to this day? Have they no shame?
P.S. Absolutely true fact that I just made up: There are no photographs of Hitler’s bare or stocking feet!
Dreggas
What is that old saying? To a Nazi everyone’s a Fascist?
SP
Jonah’s pathetic logic is so fucking comical, so stupid it defies any current category.
Maybe the virgin at Princeton who beat himself up while trying to pin it on sexually active liberals was on the advanced order list.
canuckistani
Nazis persecuted Jews. Liberals defended Jews. You can’t even get liberals to act consistently, that’s how nefarious they are.
jnfr
Watching people poke holes in Jonah’s “logic” has made my week pure win.
Zifnab
Waits for “Johan Goldberg is just saying this because he has a book to sell” from the right…
…
…
…
No? Nothing? Maybe if he was a gay General.
Psycheout
No offense Timmy, but your deep thoughts are pretty shallow. How “honest” of you.
Psycheout
You’ve actually read the book, right? You wouldn’t be dishonestly arguing against men of straw and caricatures, would you?
Dug Jay
Now, now, Tim. Everybody here knows that you wouldn’t spend the bucks required to obtain a copy of Goldberg’s new book. Ergo, you are making shit up here with these comments…or, more likely, you have simply cribbed them from someone over at the HufPo or Kos.
Incertus (Brian)
That presumes that one has to put forth some effort to make the holes appear. It’s more like people are pointing out the holes, as though they are tour guides of teh stupid.
SP
Oh Psychout, go back to reporting really important news, like Jamie Spears.
bpower
Head over to Sadly No for some mind boggling extracts.
SP
I wonder if Jonah slept in Momma’s bed until he was 13 like Elvis did.
SGEW
Ok, I know I must be late to the party . . . but the Psycheout who comments here is the Blogs 4 Brownback Psycheout?!? I mean, sure the name’s a giveaway, but wow! Now that’s chutzpah! Bravo!
Answers a few needling questions for me, too. “Caricatures” indeed!
bpower
My fav so far “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.”
Jen
Oh, Psycho’s a religious man, he is. He’s a Christian. He positively oozes compassion.
He also has listed “Free Republic” under the heading “News.” He is, ergo, a natural to defend Jonah which I would really like to see him do any day now. A substantive defense, obviously.
montysano
Or how about:
That’s comedy gold, I tells ya…….
Wait a minute: I’m 53 years old, white, male…. I’m the new Jew?!??@?! Oy!
Nikki
Why, I believe I want that on a T-shirt.
Robert Johnston
I think Jonah really needs to rebrand himself. Maybe he can start up a satiric/comedic rap career as The Notorious D.P.L. Perhaps he should get a job as a circus freak. Or maybe, while the writers’ strike continues, he could start up a reality show in which he visits a new black ops site each weak to undergo whatever the local variation of “enhanced interrogation” is in an effort to prove that it’s not torture.
Anything that will keep him from channeling the universe’s stupidity into another 500 page tome is acceptable.
SGEW
“The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.”
But then what does that make me? Are Jews therefore the white men of classical fascism? I’m so confused!
As a wise man once put it: “Teh stupid! It burns!”
RSA
Quite right. You can’t judge a book by its cover showing the title Liberal Fascism and a Hitler smiley face. You have to address the deep thoughts between the covers.
Another good deep thought:
Tim F.
Heh. I guess that would make me the new Jew and the old Jew. We yids can’t catch a break.
SP
Maybe he can start up a satiric/comedic rap career as The Notorious D.P.L.
LOL fucking spot on!
He’s so hardcore, he went to a small unknown liberal womans college so he could be close to mommy on the weekends.
myiq2xu
Even Stephen Colbert couldn’t keep a straight face saying the crap Doughy Pantload spews.
SP
I just have to revive the Notorious DPL’s greatest utterance of all time, as to why he did not choose to serve in the military in our time of greatest need…
thus spake Pantload
“As for why my sorry ass isn’t in the kill zone, lots of people think this is a searingly pertinent question. No answer I could give — I’m 35 years old, my family couldn’t afford the lost income, I have a baby daughter, my ass is, er, sorry, are a few — ever seem to suffice.”
I will leave my fellow commentators to offer their insight and translations
Gus
I prefer Doughbob Loadpants, but DPL works too. Whatever happened to The Poorman anyways?
pharniel
I was just wondering when the first waters would be tested about the ‘muslim’ problem.
I mean, obviously the religion it’s self isn’t the problem, it’s the more extreme practitioners, however, the rules of faith REQUIRE the good to mix with the bad, and they have that special language that only they know.
obviously something is going to have to be done about this viper in our midst….
I’m just waiting for the post over on ace or some other place to look exactly like the typed out transcript of the nurenburg meeting.
oi
Pb
He is truly the Dick Cheney of his time–although “I had other priorities” is more succinct.
tBone
If you’re pinched for time, though, an acceptable alternative to reading the book is to view Jon Swift’s LOLcats version. It’s a few months old but I’m sure it’s still applicable. Highly recommended. (h/t to whoever posted this in the other thread)
Teak111
In psychology, psychological projection (or projection bias) is a defense mechanism in which one attributes to others one’s own unacceptable or unwanted thoughts or/and emotions. Projection reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the unwanted subconscious impulses/desires without letting the ego recognize them. The theory was developed by Sigmund Freud and further refined by his daughter Anna Freud, and for this reason, it is sometimes referred to as “Freudian Projection”.
-wikipedia
Paul L.
You forgot Gun Control and micromanaging the life of the citizen(such as banning incandescents lightbulbs).
Oh wait, that is your side.
You sure that he is not panicking because his writers are striking and he is a empty suit?
calipygian
The “Islamo-fascists” that dress their women in head to toe burkas, cut off Christian and Jew heads, want to establish a Caliphate from Cordoba, Spain to Cordoba, California, fuck camels and whatever else they do are actually “Islamo-Liberals”.
Alles Klaar.
Tom Hilton
I’m afraid nobody can call Godwin anymore. Godwin killed himself when he saw the cover of Jonah’s book.
Tim F.
Hey Paul, I bet that Michael Schiavo totally agrees with you. And the Lawrence guy in Lawrence v. Texas.
MonkeyBoy
Jews
To someone who actually has the book could somebody post all the references Goldberg makes to Jews and Israel.
Normally in a book this crackpot one would expect some ranting about the international Jewish conspiracy, but he doesn’t go that far.
Given the historical involvement (and persecution) of Jews in left-wing movements like Communism, Socialism, Unionism, the Labor Movement, and Liberalism, what do Goldberg say about Jews?
Do we find out that only lapsed Jews are liberals which makes them traitors to their race?
RSA
Thanks for the link, tBone. Too damn funny.
calipygian
Believe it or not, Jonah Goldberg isn’t Jewish. His father was Jewish. Lucianne is Christian. And DPL professes Christianity, sort of, I guess. So, by definition, he can’t be a self-hating Jew shonda because he isn’t Jewish.
Now things REALLY don’t make sense except that the only answer is that Jonah Goldberg is actually a anti-Semite.
Dreggas
Of course he can be a self-hating jew because his christian half can hate his jewish half for killing jebus!
Tim F.
If it follows the modern conservative style guide, Good Jews (neocons, Israeli rightwing political figures, no-longer-living yids who fit on a pedestal) will get named as such while Bad Jews get euphemisms like “Hollywood liberals” and “New York elites.” The euphemism list used to avoid calling George Soros a sinister hook-nosed globe-spanning octopus goes on for pages.
MikeL
Let it never be said you don’t have balls. Too bad you don’t have the brains to match. Why don’t you go for a nice little swim?
Fledermaus
First they came for the incandescent lightbulbs . . .
Bubblegum Tate
I’m pretty sure riding public transportation makes one a fascist. After all, didn’t Mussolini make the trains run on time?
myiq2xu
Stephen isn’t an empty suit, he just plays one on TV.
He nails that wingnut state of mind perfectly.
KCinDC
I can’t believe that he didn’t change the cover when he was going through all those rewrites of the title. How can someone hold up the book to show the audience and then have a serious discussion of it. It’s worse than Ponnuru’s ridiculous “Party of Death” title, which he spent half of every interview trying to disclaim. Somehow I can’t see Goldberg going on the Daily Show with this garbage.
calipygian
Tim F. –
Obviously you didn’t get your Soros scratch last month. I thought all
liberalNazi bloggers got it.Dreggas
DAMN THOSE HOLLYWOOD LIBERALS!
jcricket
That was me :-) And it really is like the scene in the Shining where it turns out Jack’s been writing the same sentence over and over and over again.
Only this time with financial backing from rich morons.
As Ezra points out (much to Psycheout’s dismay), “Even after accounting for the fact that Jonah Goldberg’s book is worse than you can imagine, it’s still worse than you can imagine.”
It used to be that the right-wing had the WSJ editorial page and the Washington Times to publish their ridiculous arguments with a veneer of credibility. Now apparently that veneer doesn’t even matter. So now they’re clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel for outrageous screeds with barely literate rage-a-holics like Coulter, Malkin, Goldberg, O’Reilly, Savage racing each other to the bottom.
Unfortunately, in this game, there are no winners (except maybe Sadly, No).
jcricket
I’ve mentioned this before, but I think it bears repeating. In a sane world, Coulter, Malkin, Savage and Goldberg’s ridiculous hate-filled diatribes would be consigned to the bargain bin, or only be found through white-supremicist/conspiracy-theorist type groups. But remember, they’re given national prominence and here we are (in a sense) debating them as if they’re actually rational people deserving of our time.
Again, the Republicans have succeeded in moving the center so far to the right (with books like Jonah’s) that a discussion about banning torture sounds like left-wing lunacy.
Bubblegum Tate
But we must, you see, otherwise it’s “liberal media bias.”
Zifnab
Ah, and let us not forget the epic Goldberg paraphrase of Arch-Super-Brave-Conserva-Friend Michael Ledeen
See that right there? That’s how you deal with fascism. By throwing some pissant third world dung heap up against a wall for intimidation value. Germany would never have invaded Poland if we’d spent the latter half the the 30s bombing the ever-living fuck out of Nicaragua. They’d have been too busy pissing themselves in fear. Cause of our huge American penises. Who-ah!
jcricket
Shit, I had forgotten about that piece of ridiculousness. At some point someone’s gonna have to write a book called “The Rise and Fall of the Republican Party” and exhaustively catalog each right-wing-bloviator’s written contribution to the “fall” part :-)
BTW – did anyone catch the part of Jon Swift’s post where he points out that Jonah begs his readers to summarize some important political historian for him because he doesn’t have the time to read it all?
myiq2xu
Joe Walsh said it best: “You can’t argue with a sick mind.”
4tehlulz
This should be Stormfront’s new motto.
Ted
Um, Commander Data? Would it kill you to use contractions? Your writing is bad enough as it is.
calipygian
Didn’t Michael Ledeen write his Master’s thesis on how great Italian
fascismliberalism was?PaulW
You’re worried about someone calling Godwin’s Law? Why not call Murphy’s Law, wherein if there’s anything Republicans could do to f-ck up the system, they’d do that. ;)
myiq2xu
We already have the “Bush Touch.” It’s the opposite of the Midas Touch. Everything Bush touches turns to shit.
Zifnab
Hehe. “Hey guys. I’m writing a book and I’m doing some research and it doesn’t make any sense. Can I get, like, a crib sheet or something of someone? Please? What do you mean ‘write my own paper’? Dude, you guys are not cool.”
Remind me again why conservatives hate college?
myiq2xu
Knowledge has a distinct liberal bias.
Ted
So do cameras, when they snap pictures of Goldberg. Or at least that’s his theory…
John S.
While I think Jonah Goldberg is intellectually dishonest with his assertions in this book, I have to agree with the overall point he is trying to make. I personally love representative democracy. I wish it was practiced more. Unfortunately, the current state of today’s politicians is nothing but two shades of authoritarian.
Right-wing authoritarians like Hitler and vegetable-eating liberals are just flip sides of the same bad penny.
/Cassidy
Perry Como
Michael Ledeen had time to write while he was brokering weapon deals with the Iranians?
Stoic
Yes, Nazism did give fascism a rather bad name, didn’t it? It’s so hard to bring up fascism in a discussion without someone pointing out that “well, at least it’s not as bad as the Nazis.” and it’s end of discussion. The new American ideal: We’re not as bad as the Nazis, so shut the fuck up.
Psycheout
Jenny, I’m still awaiting my review copy which should arrive in the next couple of days.
By the way folks, sorry to have misled you for so long. I have been playing the part of Jen. I fooled you though, didn’t I? Heh.
Psycheout
By the way, I never really saw Ron Paul’s blimp. I just thought it would be funny to say so. LOL!
jcricket
I think it’s time to trot out the 1984 quotes again, specifically the ones relating to INGSOC and newspeak, both of which Goldberg is engaging in.
And
Do we really think that this stuff is unintentional? I mean, Goldberg might not know he’s an idiot. He’s a small party appartchik in a larger game to devalue rational thought and replace it with party politics.
myiq2xu
Orwell never realized he was writing a “How-to” Manual.
Psycheout
What’s really funny is that Prussian Blue had the cover of Liberal Fascists on t-shirts years ago.
jcricket
I think if we’re going for truth in advertising Republicans would say something like: “Nazis? Naz so bad after all?”
A la Michelle Malkin’s desire to “reclaim” the joy of internment camps, McCarthyism, etc.
That Republicans do not see their image in the anti-communist, anti-totalitarian (remember when he was writing this) writings of Orwell shows what poor students of history they are. I can only hope that their lack of self-reflection means they won’t ever begin to understand why the American public is voting them out of office.
jcricket
Today’s Republican Party. Idiots? Or biggest idiots ever?
Discuss.
Jen
Oh boy. I’m being stalked by Psycho. I’m pretty sure folks here would not believe you have the intellectual depth to spoof me. You should start with a more realistic target spoof to spoof. I suggest Paul L.
myiq2xu
I’m fond of saying “Stupid should hurt.” But it occurs to me that maybe it does.
Isn’t Rush addicted to Oxycontin?
Jay B.
My money quote, so far is “the Holocaust couldn’t have happened in Italy because Italians aren’t Germans.”
It’s a showcase of stupid on so many levels. The obvious, the historical, the quantum.
myiq2xu
How do you spoof a spoof? I think it was Lewis Black who asked (referring to FAUX News’ attempt to copy “The Daily Show”) “Shouldn’t a “fake” news show on FOX have real news?”
Jen
Is something in your head going “zing!” when you come up with these things? Because I think that’s probably actually the house arrest anklet’s warning jolt . Just FYI.
Jen
myiq, you’re cracking me up.
Psycheout
I kill me! myiq, you are too funny!
Psycheout
2xu, not so much.
D-Chance.
Not a photograph, but an artist’s rendition.
Jen
Damn. I owe Paul L. an apology.
myiq2xu
Por que?
MonkeyBoy
Tim F. Says:
You say he only names good (right) Jews as Jews. But you seem to say some of that may be gratuitous Jew labeling.
If I am writing about a guy I would only mention his religion or ethnicity if it was highly relevant to my point.
So did DPL have any reason to mention that the Good Jews were Jews? Or was he just trying to build up a stereotype of what a Good Jew should be.
Psycheout
No, Parkay. It’s almost like butter.
calipygian
D-Chance –
Wow. I occasionally use underarm deodorant. And I have underarm hair. Just like Hitler in that drawing. Does that mean -? Could I really be – ? No! I can’t! I can’t be a Liberal!
Psycheout
I’m not going to cop to playing the Jen character from now on. So just play along, okay? ;-)
horatius
“An impenetrable fog of deliberate duplicity”
One of the reviews in on Pantload courtesy the comments section of SN!
myiq2xu
It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!
Psycheout
Molly McButter!
myiq2xu
I cracked up years ago. Sanity is overrated anyway.
grrr. -ed.
demimondian
Steely McBeam!
myiq2xu
WTF just happened? I’m leaving before the owner shows up.
Psycheout
myiq, can you make your point without quoting everything in the thread? Before we know it someone will reference Steely McBeam or MST3k.
Have I mentioned Pod People recently? It stinks!
Psycheout
Name that smell.
Sniff, sniff.
Yep, smells like moonbat.
jnfr
Oooh, you’re in trouble now.
Innocent Bystander
“Is something in your head going “zing!” when you come up with these things? Because I think that’s probably actually the house arrest anklet’s warning jolt . Just FYI.”
As a fairly new reader of Balloon Juice, I find the posts ofrom Psycheout bear an uncanny resemblance to another unfunny RW internet humorist, PJComix. Their both funny in a pathetic, “look at me!” kind of way.
At least Pscheout’s flotsam will be quickly forgotten in the vast ocean of blog posts. But Goldberg’s words will probably follow him for eternity. He could well have written the book that will set the gold standard for least purchased, most ridiculed work ever published. He’s composed the definitive opus dopus for modern conservative thought. Perhaps if he had published this projectionist tripe 5 years ago, he’d have escaped the ball and chain of ridicule that will be tethered to him for his remaining days. Timing is everything.
Darkness
My high school programming teacher had a better one. “You can’t win in a battle of logic with an unarmed opponent.”
Mike
I guess that would make me the new Jew and the old Jew.
Meet the new Jew. Same as the old Jew.
jcricket
Does the phrase “somehow managed to survive the Holocaust” ring a bell? Are Republicans ever not speaking in code phrases or using dog-whistle politics?
You know who are the new jews? Same ol’ Jews.
Just like the new “niggers” and still black people.
Psycheout
Thanxx!
jcricket
Corrections: The word and should be are in the previous post. The editors of this comment section apologize for their laxitude.
Psycheout
Racist.
Tim F.
Monkey, you’re getting ahead of yourself. I didn’t mean to say that is what the book said, only what the style guide dictates. Sooner or later a rightwing reader will shell out for the book and post some excerpts to prove me wrong. If I’m wrong, which I’m probably not.
Krista
Bite your tongue, sir!
I’ve decided that if we ever get another dog, he’ll be named Trumpy.
D-Chance.
No sense of humor… you probably are.
And, BTW, underarm deodorant is to be used more than “occasionally”.
BTW X2, since the “lesser half” of B-J is in a snit today for some reason… “Godwin”.
;)
Anne Laurie
Some reviewer (Hertzberg?) said that Bill Clinton’s doorstop memoir would have made five or six more readable books, if properly split up. The Opus of Pantload would make five or six hundred fortune-cookie fortunes, if similarly divided. And while gems like “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism” *still* wouldn’t make any sense, they would provide endless entertainment for games of “Between the Sheets”.
Johnny Pez
And if you check the comments appended to Mr. Swift’s post, you’ll find the following by our good friend Psycho:
Ah, if only his mom were better connected, Psycho could also have a column in the L.A. Times.
Johnny Pez
And if you check the comments appended to Mr. Swift’s post, you’ll find the following by our good friend Psycho:
Ah, if only his mom were better connected, Psycho could also have a column in the L.A. Times.
Johnny Pez
Oops.
Enlightened Layperson
Hitler was a vegetarian. Himler believed in animal rights. So we know the liberals are the true fascists.
Ah, but Goering was a fat drug addict. What does that say about Rush Limbaugh?
myiq2xu
That he is a disgusting, vile pigboy who smokes big cigars as a substitute for what he really wants to suck on?
in canaduh
“JONAH GOLDBERG is a columnist for the Los Angeles Times and contributing editor to National Review. A USA Today contributor and former columnist for the Times of London, he has also written for The New Yorker, Commentary, the Wall Street Journal, and many other publications. He lives in Washington, D.C.”
How does a person like this “Jonah” have full time jobs writing?
Something s broken in your ecosystem
dslak
The Canadian ecosystem has its flaws, as well.
myiq2xu
Most of the commenters here could do far better than DPL, including spoofers like Psycho.
myiq2xu
BTW Tim:
How can you have deep thoughts about someone who is obviously from the shallow end of the gene pool?
Tim F.
Bill Clinton and Jonah’s mom. But not in the way you think.
Cassidy
Awwww…John S. has a man-crush. That is so sweet.
Cyrus
The way I heard it was, “Never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
Grumpy Code Monkey
No, no, no, knowledge is objectively pro-terrorist.
myiq2xu
Lazarus Long – “Never argue with a pig. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.”
demimondian
That he’s one of the most innovative forces in the history of propaganda?
I’m serious: the John Cole’s of the future will teach 80’s talk radio as a case study in political messaging for as long as radio remains a viable medium.
"Fair and Balanced" Dave
I’m a 50 year old white male so I guess that makes us both Jews. Mazeltov!
4jkb4ia
Jonah Goldberg isn’t Jewish? This explains why he said that “food is political” with a completely straight face.
4jkb4ia
Andrew Sullivan wrote this post already. It is the perfect putdown of the book.
4jkb4ia
I think the “politics as religion” part is his dig at liberal Jews.