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You are here: Home / My Deep-Thoughts Reaction To Jonah Goldberg’s Book

My Deep-Thoughts Reaction To Jonah Goldberg’s Book

by Tim F|  December 19, 20074:29 pm| 125 Comments

This post is in: General Stupidity

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Modern-day conservatives wholeheartedly support domestic surveillance, torture, detention without a habeas corpus hearing, unchecked executive power, international influence through armed belligerence and pseudo-religious leader cultism. But liberals are sometimes vegetarian, just like Hitler. So we know who carries the fascist flag around here.

Discuss.

***Update***

BTW, Malkinite Mulsim hate is totally unlike superficially similar fascist scapegoat demagoguery because her internment camps don’t specifically involve death. Or if they do it’s by accident. Unless a suspect was tortured to death, and those guys were asking for it.

BTW X2, I can’t fucking wait for the first wingtard to show up and call Godwin.

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Reader Interactions

125Comments

  1. 1.

    Jen

    December 19, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    I really wish John had posted this so I could say, “didn’t this come out like, two weeks ago?” He’d understand.

  2. 2.

    Warren Terra

    December 19, 2007 at 4:32 pm

    Did you know that the Nazis wore shoes? On their feet, just as many liberals do to this day? Have they no shame?

    P.S. Absolutely true fact that I just made up: There are no photographs of Hitler’s bare or stocking feet!

  3. 3.

    Dreggas

    December 19, 2007 at 4:33 pm

    What is that old saying? To a Nazi everyone’s a Fascist?

  4. 4.

    SP

    December 19, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    Jonah’s pathetic logic is so fucking comical, so stupid it defies any current category.

    Maybe the virgin at Princeton who beat himself up while trying to pin it on sexually active liberals was on the advanced order list.

  5. 5.

    canuckistani

    December 19, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    Nazis persecuted Jews. Liberals defended Jews. You can’t even get liberals to act consistently, that’s how nefarious they are.

  6. 6.

    jnfr

    December 19, 2007 at 4:39 pm

    Watching people poke holes in Jonah’s “logic” has made my week pure win.

  7. 7.

    Zifnab

    December 19, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    Waits for “Johan Goldberg is just saying this because he has a book to sell” from the right…
    …
    …
    …
    No? Nothing? Maybe if he was a gay General.

  8. 8.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    No offense Timmy, but your deep thoughts are pretty shallow. How “honest” of you.

  9. 9.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 4:45 pm

    Jonah’s pathetic logic is so fucking comical, so stupid it defies any current category.

    You’ve actually read the book, right? You wouldn’t be dishonestly arguing against men of straw and caricatures, would you?

  10. 10.

    Dug Jay

    December 19, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    Now, now, Tim. Everybody here knows that you wouldn’t spend the bucks required to obtain a copy of Goldberg’s new book. Ergo, you are making shit up here with these comments…or, more likely, you have simply cribbed them from someone over at the HufPo or Kos.

  11. 11.

    Incertus (Brian)

    December 19, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    Watching people poke holes in Jonah’s “logic” has made my week pure win.

    That presumes that one has to put forth some effort to make the holes appear. It’s more like people are pointing out the holes, as though they are tour guides of teh stupid.

  12. 12.

    SP

    December 19, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    Oh Psychout, go back to reporting really important news, like Jamie Spears.

  13. 13.

    bpower

    December 19, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    Head over to Sadly No for some mind boggling extracts.

  14. 14.

    SP

    December 19, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    I wonder if Jonah slept in Momma’s bed until he was 13 like Elvis did.

  15. 15.

    SGEW

    December 19, 2007 at 5:02 pm

    Ok, I know I must be late to the party . . . but the Psycheout who comments here is the Blogs 4 Brownback Psycheout?!? I mean, sure the name’s a giveaway, but wow! Now that’s chutzpah! Bravo!

    Answers a few needling questions for me, too. “Caricatures” indeed!

  16. 16.

    bpower

    December 19, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    My fav so far “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.”

  17. 17.

    Jen

    December 19, 2007 at 5:06 pm

    Oh, Psycho’s a religious man, he is. He’s a Christian. He positively oozes compassion.

    He also has listed “Free Republic” under the heading “News.” He is, ergo, a natural to defend Jonah which I would really like to see him do any day now. A substantive defense, obviously.

  18. 18.

    montysano

    December 19, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    My fav so far “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.”

    Or how about:

    The quintessential liberal fascist isn’t an SS storm trooper; it is a female grade-school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore.

    That’s comedy gold, I tells ya…….

    Wait a minute: I’m 53 years old, white, male…. I’m the new Jew?!??@?! Oy!

  19. 19.

    Nikki

    December 19, 2007 at 5:09 pm

    My fav so far “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.”

    Why, I believe I want that on a T-shirt.

  20. 20.

    Robert Johnston

    December 19, 2007 at 5:10 pm

    I think Jonah really needs to rebrand himself. Maybe he can start up a satiric/comedic rap career as The Notorious D.P.L. Perhaps he should get a job as a circus freak. Or maybe, while the writers’ strike continues, he could start up a reality show in which he visits a new black ops site each weak to undergo whatever the local variation of “enhanced interrogation” is in an effort to prove that it’s not torture.

    Anything that will keep him from channeling the universe’s stupidity into another 500 page tome is acceptable.

  21. 21.

    SGEW

    December 19, 2007 at 5:14 pm

    “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.”

    But then what does that make me? Are Jews therefore the white men of classical fascism? I’m so confused!

    As a wise man once put it: “Teh stupid! It burns!”

  22. 22.

    RSA

    December 19, 2007 at 5:15 pm

    You’ve actually read the book, right? You wouldn’t be dishonestly arguing against men of straw and caricatures, would you?

    Quite right. You can’t judge a book by its cover showing the title Liberal Fascism and a Hitler smiley face. You have to address the deep thoughts between the covers.

    Another good deep thought:

    It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

  23. 23.

    Tim F.

    December 19, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    My fav so far “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.”

    Heh. I guess that would make me the new Jew and the old Jew. We yids can’t catch a break.

  24. 24.

    SP

    December 19, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    Maybe he can start up a satiric/comedic rap career as The Notorious D.P.L.

    LOL fucking spot on!

    He’s so hardcore, he went to a small unknown liberal womans college so he could be close to mommy on the weekends.

  25. 25.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 5:18 pm

    Even Stephen Colbert couldn’t keep a straight face saying the crap Doughy Pantload spews.

  26. 26.

    SP

    December 19, 2007 at 5:24 pm

    I just have to revive the Notorious DPL’s greatest utterance of all time, as to why he did not choose to serve in the military in our time of greatest need…

    thus spake Pantload

    “As for why my sorry ass isn’t in the kill zone, lots of people think this is a searingly pertinent question. No answer I could give — I’m 35 years old, my family couldn’t afford the lost income, I have a baby daughter, my ass is, er, sorry, are a few — ever seem to suffice.”

    I will leave my fellow commentators to offer their insight and translations

  27. 27.

    Gus

    December 19, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    I prefer Doughbob Loadpants, but DPL works too. Whatever happened to The Poorman anyways?

  28. 28.

    pharniel

    December 19, 2007 at 5:29 pm

    I was just wondering when the first waters would be tested about the ‘muslim’ problem.
    I mean, obviously the religion it’s self isn’t the problem, it’s the more extreme practitioners, however, the rules of faith REQUIRE the good to mix with the bad, and they have that special language that only they know.
    obviously something is going to have to be done about this viper in our midst….

    I’m just waiting for the post over on ace or some other place to look exactly like the typed out transcript of the nurenburg meeting.
    oi

  29. 29.

    Pb

    December 19, 2007 at 5:31 pm

    “As for why my sorry ass isn’t in the kill zone, lots of people think this is a searingly pertinent question. No answer I could give — I’m 35 years old, my family couldn’t afford the lost income, I have a baby daughter, my ass is, er, sorry, are a few — ever seem to suffice.”

    He is truly the Dick Cheney of his time–although “I had other priorities” is more succinct.

  30. 30.

    tBone

    December 19, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    Quite right. You can’t judge a book by its cover showing the title Liberal Fascism and a Hitler smiley face. You have to address the deep thoughts between the covers.

    If you’re pinched for time, though, an acceptable alternative to reading the book is to view Jon Swift’s LOLcats version. It’s a few months old but I’m sure it’s still applicable. Highly recommended. (h/t to whoever posted this in the other thread)

  31. 31.

    Teak111

    December 19, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    In psychology, psychological projection (or projection bias) is a defense mechanism in which one attributes to others one’s own unacceptable or unwanted thoughts or/and emotions. Projection reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the unwanted subconscious impulses/desires without letting the ego recognize them. The theory was developed by Sigmund Freud and further refined by his daughter Anna Freud, and for this reason, it is sometimes referred to as “Freudian Projection”.

    -wikipedia

  32. 32.

    Paul L.

    December 19, 2007 at 5:35 pm

    Modern-day conservatives wholeheartedly support…

    You forgot Gun Control and micromanaging the life of the citizen(such as banning incandescents lightbulbs).
    Oh wait, that is your side.

    Even Stephen Colbert couldn’t keep a straight face saying the crap Doughy Pantload spews.

    You sure that he is not panicking because his writers are striking and he is a empty suit?

  33. 33.

    calipygian

    December 19, 2007 at 5:38 pm

    The “Islamo-fascists” that dress their women in head to toe burkas, cut off Christian and Jew heads, want to establish a Caliphate from Cordoba, Spain to Cordoba, California, fuck camels and whatever else they do are actually “Islamo-Liberals”.

    Alles Klaar.

  34. 34.

    Tom Hilton

    December 19, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    BTW X2, I can’t fucking wait for the first wingtard to show up and call Godwin.

    I’m afraid nobody can call Godwin anymore. Godwin killed himself when he saw the cover of Jonah’s book.

  35. 35.

    Tim F.

    December 19, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    You forgot Gun Control and micromanaging the life of the citizen(such as banning incandescents lightbulbs).

    Hey Paul, I bet that Michael Schiavo totally agrees with you. And the Lawrence guy in Lawrence v. Texas.

  36. 36.

    MonkeyBoy

    December 19, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    Jews

    To someone who actually has the book could somebody post all the references Goldberg makes to Jews and Israel.

    Normally in a book this crackpot one would expect some ranting about the international Jewish conspiracy, but he doesn’t go that far.

    Given the historical involvement (and persecution) of Jews in left-wing movements like Communism, Socialism, Unionism, the Labor Movement, and Liberalism, what do Goldberg say about Jews?

    Do we find out that only lapsed Jews are liberals which makes them traitors to their race?

  37. 37.

    RSA

    December 19, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    If you’re pinched for time, though, an acceptable alternative to reading the book is to view Jon Swift’s LOLcats version.

    Thanks for the link, tBone. Too damn funny.

  38. 38.

    calipygian

    December 19, 2007 at 5:44 pm

    Believe it or not, Jonah Goldberg isn’t Jewish. His father was Jewish. Lucianne is Christian. And DPL professes Christianity, sort of, I guess. So, by definition, he can’t be a self-hating Jew shonda because he isn’t Jewish.

    Now things REALLY don’t make sense except that the only answer is that Jonah Goldberg is actually a anti-Semite.

  39. 39.

    Dreggas

    December 19, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    calipygian Says:

    Believe it or not, Jonah Goldberg isn’t Jewish. His father was Jewish. Lucianne is Christian. And DPL professes Christianity, sort of, I guess. So, by definition, he can’t be a self-hating Jew shonda because he isn’t Jewish.

    Now things REALLY don’t make sense except that the only answer is that Jonah Goldberg is actually a anti-Semite.

    Of course he can be a self-hating jew because his christian half can hate his jewish half for killing jebus!

  40. 40.

    Tim F.

    December 19, 2007 at 5:52 pm

    Given the historical involvement (and persecution) of Jews in left-wing movements like Communism, Socialism, Unionism, the Labor Movement, and Liberalism, what do Goldberg say about Jews?

    If it follows the modern conservative style guide, Good Jews (neocons, Israeli rightwing political figures, no-longer-living yids who fit on a pedestal) will get named as such while Bad Jews get euphemisms like “Hollywood liberals” and “New York elites.” The euphemism list used to avoid calling George Soros a sinister hook-nosed globe-spanning octopus goes on for pages.

  41. 41.

    MikeL

    December 19, 2007 at 5:54 pm

    Psycheout Says:

    No offense Timmy, but your deep thoughts are pretty shallow. How “honest” of you.

    Let it never be said you don’t have balls. Too bad you don’t have the brains to match. Why don’t you go for a nice little swim?

  42. 42.

    Fledermaus

    December 19, 2007 at 5:54 pm

    First they came for the incandescent lightbulbs . . .

  43. 43.

    Bubblegum Tate

    December 19, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    I’m pretty sure riding public transportation makes one a fascist. After all, didn’t Mussolini make the trains run on time?

  44. 44.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    You sure that he is not panicking because his writers are striking and he is a empty suit?

    Stephen isn’t an empty suit, he just plays one on TV.

    He nails that wingnut state of mind perfectly.

  45. 45.

    KCinDC

    December 19, 2007 at 6:01 pm

    I can’t believe that he didn’t change the cover when he was going through all those rewrites of the title. How can someone hold up the book to show the audience and then have a serious discussion of it. It’s worse than Ponnuru’s ridiculous “Party of Death” title, which he spent half of every interview trying to disclaim. Somehow I can’t see Goldberg going on the Daily Show with this garbage.

  46. 46.

    calipygian

    December 19, 2007 at 6:02 pm

    Tim F. –

    Obviously you didn’t get your Soros scratch last month. I thought all liberal Nazi bloggers got it.

  47. 47.

    Dreggas

    December 19, 2007 at 6:04 pm

    DAMN THOSE HOLLYWOOD LIBERALS!

  48. 48.

    jcricket

    December 19, 2007 at 6:06 pm

    (h/t to whoever posted this in the other thread)

    That was me :-) And it really is like the scene in the Shining where it turns out Jack’s been writing the same sentence over and over and over again.

    Only this time with financial backing from rich morons.

    As Ezra points out (much to Psycheout’s dismay), “Even after accounting for the fact that Jonah Goldberg’s book is worse than you can imagine, it’s still worse than you can imagine.”

    It used to be that the right-wing had the WSJ editorial page and the Washington Times to publish their ridiculous arguments with a veneer of credibility. Now apparently that veneer doesn’t even matter. So now they’re clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel for outrageous screeds with barely literate rage-a-holics like Coulter, Malkin, Goldberg, O’Reilly, Savage racing each other to the bottom.

    Unfortunately, in this game, there are no winners (except maybe Sadly, No).

  49. 49.

    jcricket

    December 19, 2007 at 6:10 pm

    I’ve mentioned this before, but I think it bears repeating. In a sane world, Coulter, Malkin, Savage and Goldberg’s ridiculous hate-filled diatribes would be consigned to the bargain bin, or only be found through white-supremicist/conspiracy-theorist type groups. But remember, they’re given national prominence and here we are (in a sense) debating them as if they’re actually rational people deserving of our time.

    Again, the Republicans have succeeded in moving the center so far to the right (with books like Jonah’s) that a discussion about banning torture sounds like left-wing lunacy.

  50. 50.

    Bubblegum Tate

    December 19, 2007 at 6:13 pm

    But remember, they’re given national prominence and here we are (in a sense) debating them as if they’re actually rational people deserving of our time.

    But we must, you see, otherwise it’s “liberal media bias.”

  51. 51.

    Zifnab

    December 19, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    Ah, and let us not forget the epic Goldberg paraphrase of Arch-Super-Brave-Conserva-Friend Michael Ledeen

    “Every ten years or so, the United States needs to pick up some small crappy little country and throw it against the wall, just to show the world we mean business.” That’s at least how I remember Michael phrasing it at a speech at the American Enterprise Institute about a decade ago (Ledeen is one of the most entertaining public speakers I’ve ever heard, by the way).

    See that right there? That’s how you deal with fascism. By throwing some pissant third world dung heap up against a wall for intimidation value. Germany would never have invaded Poland if we’d spent the latter half the the 30s bombing the ever-living fuck out of Nicaragua. They’d have been too busy pissing themselves in fear. Cause of our huge American penises. Who-ah!

  52. 52.

    jcricket

    December 19, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    It’s worse than Ponnuru’s ridiculous “Party of Death” title, which he spent half of every interview trying to disclaim.

    Shit, I had forgotten about that piece of ridiculousness. At some point someone’s gonna have to write a book called “The Rise and Fall of the Republican Party” and exhaustively catalog each right-wing-bloviator’s written contribution to the “fall” part :-)

    BTW – did anyone catch the part of Jon Swift’s post where he points out that Jonah begs his readers to summarize some important political historian for him because he doesn’t have the time to read it all?

  53. 53.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    Joe Walsh said it best: “You can’t argue with a sick mind.”

  54. 54.

    4tehlulz

    December 19, 2007 at 6:15 pm

    “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism.”

    This should be Stormfront’s new motto.

  55. 55.

    Ted

    December 19, 2007 at 6:16 pm

    You sure that he is not panicking because his writers are striking and he is a empty suit?

    Um, Commander Data? Would it kill you to use contractions? Your writing is bad enough as it is.

  56. 56.

    calipygian

    December 19, 2007 at 6:21 pm

    Didn’t Michael Ledeen write his Master’s thesis on how great Italian fascism liberalism was?

  57. 57.

    PaulW

    December 19, 2007 at 6:23 pm

    You’re worried about someone calling Godwin’s Law? Why not call Murphy’s Law, wherein if there’s anything Republicans could do to f-ck up the system, they’d do that. ;)

  58. 58.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 6:27 pm

    You’re worried about someone calling Godwin’s Law? Why not call Murphy’s Law, wherein if there’s anything Republicans could do to f-ck up the system, they’d do that.

    We already have the “Bush Touch.” It’s the opposite of the Midas Touch. Everything Bush touches turns to shit.

  59. 59.

    Zifnab

    December 19, 2007 at 6:39 pm

    BTW – did anyone catch the part of Jon Swift’s post where he points out that Jonah begs his readers to summarize some important political historian for him because he doesn’t have the time to read it all?

    Hehe. “Hey guys. I’m writing a book and I’m doing some research and it doesn’t make any sense. Can I get, like, a crib sheet or something of someone? Please? What do you mean ‘write my own paper’? Dude, you guys are not cool.”

    Remind me again why conservatives hate college?

  60. 60.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 6:42 pm

    Remind me again why conservatives hate college?

    Knowledge has a distinct liberal bias.

  61. 61.

    Ted

    December 19, 2007 at 6:44 pm

    Knowledge has a distinct liberal bias.

    So do cameras, when they snap pictures of Goldberg. Or at least that’s his theory…

  62. 62.

    John S.

    December 19, 2007 at 6:48 pm

    While I think Jonah Goldberg is intellectually dishonest with his assertions in this book, I have to agree with the overall point he is trying to make. I personally love representative democracy. I wish it was practiced more. Unfortunately, the current state of today’s politicians is nothing but two shades of authoritarian.

    Right-wing authoritarians like Hitler and vegetable-eating liberals are just flip sides of the same bad penny.

    /Cassidy

  63. 63.

    Perry Como

    December 19, 2007 at 6:50 pm

    Didn’t Michael Ledeen write his Master’s thesis on how great Italian fascism liberalism was?

    Michael Ledeen had time to write while he was brokering weapon deals with the Iranians?

  64. 64.

    Stoic

    December 19, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    “…Malkinite Mulsim hate is totally unlike superficially similar fascist scapegoat demagoguery because her internment camps don’t specifically involve death.”

    Yes, Nazism did give fascism a rather bad name, didn’t it? It’s so hard to bring up fascism in a discussion without someone pointing out that “well, at least it’s not as bad as the Nazis.” and it’s end of discussion. The new American ideal: We’re not as bad as the Nazis, so shut the fuck up.

  65. 65.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    He is, ergo, a natural to defend Jonah which I would really like to see him do any day now. A substantive defense, obviously.

    Jenny, I’m still awaiting my review copy which should arrive in the next couple of days.

    By the way folks, sorry to have misled you for so long. I have been playing the part of Jen. I fooled you though, didn’t I? Heh.

  66. 66.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 6:58 pm

    By the way, I never really saw Ron Paul’s blimp. I just thought it would be funny to say so. LOL!

  67. 67.

    jcricket

    December 19, 2007 at 7:00 pm

    I think it’s time to trot out the 1984 quotes again, specifically the ones relating to INGSOC and newspeak, both of which Goldberg is engaging in.

    “In Oceania at the present day, Science, in the old sense, has almost ceased to exist. In Newspeak there is no word for ‘Science.’ The empirical method of thought, on which all the scientific achievements of the past were founded, is opposed to the most fundamental principles of Ingsoc.” —pg 159

    And

    “Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought?… Has it ever occurred to your, Winston, that by the year 2050, at the very latest, not a single human being will be alive who could understand such a conversation as we are having now?…The whole climate of thought will be different. In fact, there will be no thought, as we understand it now. Orthodoxy means not thinking—not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.” —Syme, pg 46-47

    Do we really think that this stuff is unintentional? I mean, Goldberg might not know he’s an idiot. He’s a small party appartchik in a larger game to devalue rational thought and replace it with party politics.

  68. 68.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    Do we really think that this stuff is unintentional?

    Orwell never realized he was writing a “How-to” Manual.

  69. 69.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 7:03 pm

    What’s really funny is that Prussian Blue had the cover of Liberal Fascists on t-shirts years ago.

  70. 70.

    jcricket

    December 19, 2007 at 7:10 pm

    The new American ideal: We’re not as bad as the Nazis, so shut the fuck up.

    I think if we’re going for truth in advertising Republicans would say something like: “Nazis? Naz so bad after all?”

    A la Michelle Malkin’s desire to “reclaim” the joy of internment camps, McCarthyism, etc.

    Orwell never realized he was writing a “How-to” Manual.

    That Republicans do not see their image in the anti-communist, anti-totalitarian (remember when he was writing this) writings of Orwell shows what poor students of history they are. I can only hope that their lack of self-reflection means they won’t ever begin to understand why the American public is voting them out of office.

  71. 71.

    jcricket

    December 19, 2007 at 7:12 pm

    Discuss.

    Today’s Republican Party. Idiots? Or biggest idiots ever?

    Discuss.

  72. 72.

    Jen

    December 19, 2007 at 7:15 pm

    Oh boy. I’m being stalked by Psycho. I’m pretty sure folks here would not believe you have the intellectual depth to spoof me. You should start with a more realistic target spoof to spoof. I suggest Paul L.

  73. 73.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 7:15 pm

    Today’s Republican Party.

    I’m fond of saying “Stupid should hurt.” But it occurs to me that maybe it does.

    Isn’t Rush addicted to Oxycontin?

  74. 74.

    Jay B.

    December 19, 2007 at 7:18 pm

    My money quote, so far is “the Holocaust couldn’t have happened in Italy because Italians aren’t Germans.”

    It’s a showcase of stupid on so many levels. The obvious, the historical, the quantum.

  75. 75.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 7:18 pm

    I suggest Paul L.

    How do you spoof a spoof? I think it was Lewis Black who asked (referring to FAUX News’ attempt to copy “The Daily Show”) “Shouldn’t a “fake” news show on FOX have real news?”

  76. 76.

    Jen

    December 19, 2007 at 7:18 pm

    By the way, I never really saw Ron Paul’s blimp. I just thought it would be funny to say so. LOL!

    Is something in your head going “zing!” when you come up with these things? Because I think that’s probably actually the house arrest anklet’s warning jolt . Just FYI.

  77. 77.

    Jen

    December 19, 2007 at 7:25 pm

    myiq, you’re cracking me up.

  78. 78.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 7:31 pm

    Oh boy. I’m being stalked by Psycho.

    I kill me! myiq, you are too funny!

  79. 79.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 7:32 pm

    2xu, not so much.

  80. 80.

    D-Chance.

    December 19, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    Warren Terra Says:

    Did you know that the Nazis wore shoes? On their feet, just as many liberals do to this day? Have they no shame?

    P.S. Absolutely true fact that I just made up: There are no photographs of Hitler’s bare or stocking feet!

    Not a photograph, but an artist’s rendition.

  81. 81.

    Jen

    December 19, 2007 at 7:39 pm

    I kill me! myiq, you are too funny!
    2xu, not so much.

    Damn. I owe Paul L. an apology.

  82. 82.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 7:42 pm

    Damn. I owe Paul L. an apology.

    Por que?

  83. 83.

    MonkeyBoy

    December 19, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    Tim F. Says:

    If it follows the modern conservative style guide, Good Jews (neocons, Israeli rightwing political figures, no-longer-living yids who fit on a pedestal) will get named as such while Bad Jews get euphemisms like “Hollywood liberals” and “New York elites.” The euphemism list used to avoid calling George Soros a sinister hook-nosed globe-spanning octopus goes on for pages.

    You say he only names good (right) Jews as Jews. But you seem to say some of that may be gratuitous Jew labeling.

    If I am writing about a guy I would only mention his religion or ethnicity if it was highly relevant to my point.

    So did DPL have any reason to mention that the Good Jews were Jews? Or was he just trying to build up a stereotype of what a Good Jew should be.

  84. 84.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    Por que?

    No, Parkay. It’s almost like butter.

  85. 85.

    calipygian

    December 19, 2007 at 7:45 pm

    D-Chance –

    Wow. I occasionally use underarm deodorant. And I have underarm hair. Just like Hitler in that drawing. Does that mean -? Could I really be – ? No! I can’t! I can’t be a Liberal!

  86. 86.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 7:46 pm

    I’m not going to cop to playing the Jen character from now on. So just play along, okay? ;-)

  87. 87.

    horatius

    December 19, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    “An impenetrable fog of deliberate duplicity”

    One of the reviews in on Pantload courtesy the comments section of SN!

  88. 88.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 7:54 pm

    No, Parkay. It’s almost like butter.

    It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!

  89. 89.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 8:00 pm

    Molly McButter!

  90. 90.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 8:04 pm

    Jen Says:

    myiq, you’re cracking me up.

    I cracked up years ago. Sanity is overrated anyway.

    grrr. -ed.

  91. 91.

    demimondian

    December 19, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    Molly McButter!

    Steely McBeam!

  92. 92.

    myiq2xu

    December 19, 2007 at 8:06 pm

    WTF just happened? I’m leaving before the owner shows up.

  93. 93.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 8:09 pm

    myiq, can you make your point without quoting everything in the thread? Before we know it someone will reference Steely McBeam or MST3k.

    Have I mentioned Pod People recently? It stinks!

  94. 94.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 8:11 pm

    Wow. I occasionally use underarm deodorant.

    Name that smell.

    Sniff, sniff.

    Yep, smells like moonbat.

  95. 95.

    jnfr

    December 19, 2007 at 8:16 pm

    Oooh, you’re in trouble now.

  96. 96.

    Innocent Bystander

    December 19, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    “Is something in your head going “zing!” when you come up with these things? Because I think that’s probably actually the house arrest anklet’s warning jolt . Just FYI.”

    As a fairly new reader of Balloon Juice, I find the posts ofrom Psycheout bear an uncanny resemblance to another unfunny RW internet humorist, PJComix. Their both funny in a pathetic, “look at me!” kind of way.

    At least Pscheout’s flotsam will be quickly forgotten in the vast ocean of blog posts. But Goldberg’s words will probably follow him for eternity. He could well have written the book that will set the gold standard for least purchased, most ridiculed work ever published. He’s composed the definitive opus dopus for modern conservative thought. Perhaps if he had published this projectionist tripe 5 years ago, he’d have escaped the ball and chain of ridicule that will be tethered to him for his remaining days. Timing is everything.

  97. 97.

    Darkness

    December 19, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    myiq2xu Says:

    Joe Walsh said it best: “You can’t argue with a sick mind.”

    My high school programming teacher had a better one. “You can’t win in a battle of logic with an unarmed opponent.”

  98. 98.

    Mike

    December 19, 2007 at 8:47 pm

    I guess that would make me the new Jew and the old Jew.

    Meet the new Jew. Same as the old Jew.

  99. 99.

    jcricket

    December 19, 2007 at 8:55 pm

    The euphemism list used to avoid calling George Soros a sinister hook-nosed globe-spanning octopus goes on for pages.

    Does the phrase “somehow managed to survive the Holocaust” ring a bell? Are Republicans ever not speaking in code phrases or using dog-whistle politics?

    You know who are the new jews? Same ol’ Jews.

    Just like the new “niggers” and still black people.

  100. 100.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 8:56 pm

    I find the posts ofrom Psycheout bear an uncanny resemblance to another funny RW internet humorist, PJComix.

    Thanxx!

  101. 101.

    jcricket

    December 19, 2007 at 8:57 pm

    Corrections: The word and should be are in the previous post. The editors of this comment section apologize for their laxitude.

  102. 102.

    Psycheout

    December 19, 2007 at 8:57 pm

    Just like the new “niggers” and still black people.

    Racist.

  103. 103.

    Tim F.

    December 19, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    So did DPL have any reason to mention that the Good Jews were Jews? Or was he just trying to build up a stereotype of what a Good Jew should be.

    Monkey, you’re getting ahead of yourself. I didn’t mean to say that is what the book said, only what the style guide dictates. Sooner or later a rightwing reader will shell out for the book and post some excerpts to prove me wrong. If I’m wrong, which I’m probably not.

  104. 104.

    Krista

    December 19, 2007 at 10:47 pm

    myiq, can you make your point without quoting everything in the thread? Before we know it someone will reference Steely McBeam or MST3k.

    Have I mentioned Pod People recently? It stinks!

    Bite your tongue, sir!

    I’ve decided that if we ever get another dog, he’ll be named Trumpy.

  105. 105.

    D-Chance.

    December 19, 2007 at 10:57 pm

    calipygian Says:

    D-Chance –

    Wow. I occasionally use underarm deodorant. And I have underarm hair. Just like Hitler in that drawing. Does that mean -? Could I really be – ? No! I can’t! I can’t be a Liberal!

    No sense of humor… you probably are.

    And, BTW, underarm deodorant is to be used more than “occasionally”.

    BTW X2, since the “lesser half” of B-J is in a snit today for some reason… “Godwin”.

    ;)

  106. 106.

    Anne Laurie

    December 19, 2007 at 11:40 pm

    Some reviewer (Hertzberg?) said that Bill Clinton’s doorstop memoir would have made five or six more readable books, if properly split up. The Opus of Pantload would make five or six hundred fortune-cookie fortunes, if similarly divided. And while gems like “The white man is the Jew of liberal fascism” *still* wouldn’t make any sense, they would provide endless entertainment for games of “Between the Sheets”.

  107. 107.

    Johnny Pez

    December 20, 2007 at 1:11 am

    And if you check the comments appended to Mr. Swift’s post, you’ll find the following by our good friend Psycho:

    This has got to be one of the silliest websites I’ve ever seen. Don’t you lieberals have jobs?

    Ah, if only his mom were better connected, Psycho could also have a column in the L.A. Times.

  108. 108.

    Johnny Pez

    December 20, 2007 at 1:12 am

    And if you check the comments appended to Mr. Swift’s post, you’ll find the following by our good friend Psycho:

    This has got to be one of the silliest websites I’ve ever seen. Don’t you lieberals have jobs?

    Ah, if only his mom were better connected, Psycho could also have a column in the L.A. Times.

  109. 109.

    Johnny Pez

    December 20, 2007 at 1:13 am

    Oops.

  110. 110.

    Enlightened Layperson

    December 20, 2007 at 1:57 am

    Hitler was a vegetarian. Himler believed in animal rights. So we know the liberals are the true fascists.

    Ah, but Goering was a fat drug addict. What does that say about Rush Limbaugh?

  111. 111.

    myiq2xu

    December 20, 2007 at 5:32 am

    What does that say about Rush Limbaugh?

    That he is a disgusting, vile pigboy who smokes big cigars as a substitute for what he really wants to suck on?

  112. 112.

    in canaduh

    December 20, 2007 at 7:50 am

    “JONAH GOLDBERG is a columnist for the Los Angeles Times and contributing editor to National Review. A USA Today contributor and former columnist for the Times of London, he has also written for The New Yorker, Commentary, the Wall Street Journal, and many other publications. He lives in Washington, D.C.”

    How does a person like this “Jonah” have full time jobs writing?

    Something s broken in your ecosystem

  113. 113.

    dslak

    December 20, 2007 at 8:47 am

    Something s broken in your ecosystem

    The Canadian ecosystem has its flaws, as well.

  114. 114.

    myiq2xu

    December 20, 2007 at 8:54 am

    How does a person like this “Jonah” have full time jobs writing?

    Most of the commenters here could do far better than DPL, including spoofers like Psycho.

  115. 115.

    myiq2xu

    December 20, 2007 at 8:55 am

    BTW Tim:

    How can you have deep thoughts about someone who is obviously from the shallow end of the gene pool?

  116. 116.

    Tim F.

    December 20, 2007 at 9:03 am

    How does a person like this “Jonah” have full time jobs writing?

    Bill Clinton and Jonah’s mom. But not in the way you think.

  117. 117.

    Cassidy

    December 20, 2007 at 10:10 am

    John S. Says:

    While I think Jonah Goldberg is intellectually dishonest with his assertions in this book, I have to agree with the overall point he is trying to make. I personally love representative democracy. I wish it was practiced more. Unfortunately, the current state of today’s politicians is nothing but two shades of authoritarian.

    Right-wing authoritarians like Hitler and vegetable-eating liberals are just flip sides of the same bad penny.

    /Cassidy

    Awwww…John S. has a man-crush. That is so sweet.

  118. 118.

    Cyrus

    December 20, 2007 at 10:32 am

    Joe Walsh said it best: “You can’t argue with a sick mind.”

    My high school programming teacher had a better one. “You can’t win in a battle of logic with an unarmed opponent.”

    The way I heard it was, “Never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

  119. 119.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    December 20, 2007 at 11:13 am

    Remind me again why conservatives hate college?

    Knowledge has a distinct liberal bias.

    No, no, no, knowledge is objectively pro-terrorist.

  120. 120.

    myiq2xu

    December 20, 2007 at 12:16 pm

    The way I heard it was, “Never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

    Lazarus Long – “Never argue with a pig. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.”

  121. 121.

    demimondian

    December 20, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    Goering was a fat drug addict. What does that say about Rush Limbaugh?

    That he’s one of the most innovative forces in the history of propaganda?

    I’m serious: the John Cole’s of the future will teach 80’s talk radio as a case study in political messaging for as long as radio remains a viable medium.

  122. 122.

    "Fair and Balanced" Dave

    December 20, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    Wait a minute: I’m 53 years old, white, male…. I’m the new Jew?

    I’m a 50 year old white male so I guess that makes us both Jews. Mazeltov!

  123. 123.

    4jkb4ia

    December 20, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    Jonah Goldberg isn’t Jewish? This explains why he said that “food is political” with a completely straight face.

  124. 124.

    4jkb4ia

    December 20, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    Andrew Sullivan wrote this post already. It is the perfect putdown of the book.

  125. 125.

    4jkb4ia

    December 20, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    I think the “politics as religion” part is his dig at liberal Jews.

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