Hope you all are having a good one.
BTW- I got a Crock Pot from my sister, so throw your recipes in the comments.
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.
The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.
Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.
You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.
We still have time to mess this up!
Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.
I really should read my own blog.
Hot air and ill-informed banter
I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.
No Justins, No Peace
Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?
Let there be snark.
Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.
The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.
Battle won, war still ongoing.
DeSantis transforms Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.
When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.
The revolution will be supervised.
rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius
“woke” is the new caravan.
We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.
This blog will pay for itself.
I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.
Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.
You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Site Maintenance / And Yet Another Merry Christmas Thread
calipygian
No way to fuck up a crockpot. Its easier than a microwave. It just takes much, much longer. I consider it a much better friend to the single man than a microwave because you can cook, you know, a meal as opposed to microwaving a burrito.
Zifnab
1) Add Food.
2) Wait.
3) ???
4) Profit!
Make sure whatever you cook is deboned, and for god’s sake scrub the thing down when you’re done. The crockpot is easy but it gets messy really fast. Also, if you just drop in a whole chicken, the meat will fall right off the bone. Which is delicious, but also leaves you with a giant pot full of bones.
I’m a personal fan of potatoes, carrots, onions, and brisket. Toss in spices to taste – majorum is my favorite – and let the thing cook for 8 hours. No bones, lots of flavor, and you can feed about 4 people (depending on the pot size) for about $12.
Johnny Pez
I’ve just produced a bit of holiday cheer called How the Boy Who Lived Stole Christmas. Now available at a blog near you.
Joey
My mom started cooking turkeys in the crock pot last year. It’s great. About as moist a turkey you’ll ever eat, outside of deep frying perhaps. I haven’t had deep fried turkey in a while, so I can’t comment on it.
myiq2xu
Chile Verde (Beer recipe)
Brown some cubed pork and put in crockpot with onion and salsa verde (I like Las Palmas.) Add garlic and fresh ground black pepper, 1-2 jalapenos if you like your food hot. Add beer to the chef as needed (I prefer Pacifico or Dos Equis Green.)
I don’t measure, so add whatever amounts seem right to you. Just make sure there is enough salsa verde to cover the meat and enough beer to keep the chef in a good mood.
Cook on low all day and serve with tortillas, beans, rice and more cold beer.
ThymeZone
Real green chile is never made with jalapenos, it is made with hatch chiles, and is very mild in flavor.
This is the real thing, the New Mexico way.
It’s also made with pork, not beef.
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 pounds boneless pork cubed
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic minced
1/4 cup flour
2 cups peeled and chopped fresh tomatoes
16 ounces cans Hatch Chopped Green Chile (depending on heat desired)
2 large potatoes
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground pepper
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1 cup chicken or beef broth
Directions:
In a large sauce or soup pan with cover heat the olive oil and pork at medium, cook until browned lightly. Add the onion and garlic and saute with the meat for 3-4 minutes. Add flour and stir 1-2 minutes. Add tomatoes, green chile, salt, pepper, and sugar. Mix well. Cube potatoes raw and add to the mixture. Add the broth and lower heat. Cover the pot and let it simmer for 1-1 1/2 hours or until the meat is tender. Serve while hot and accompany with flour tortillas.
myiq2xu
Don’t forget, we’re dealing with Yankees. They say “ja-lop-in-ohs” instead of “hal-a-peen-yos.” You tell them “Hatch Chiles” and they’ll be putting them in an incubator.
But I like your recipe, I’ll be trying it by next weekend.
ThymeZone
It’s the real deal. The flavor comes from the pork and the chiles but it’s not all that spicy-hot unless you jack it up at the table. Pepperoncino flakes are ideal for that. The jalapeno imparts a flavor that you don’t want in there.
If you are near NM you can slide over for some really wonderful examples.
myiq2xu
I’m about 8 hours on the other side of Needles, so it’s a long slide. But one of the advantages of living anywhere along the spicy crecent (Tejas to California Del Norte) is Mexican food. You’re near the center, I’m near the northern tip.
Here’s an easy Salsa Verde recipe:
6-8 Tomatillos
6-8 Chiles de Arbol
Brown the chiles in oil, and boil the Tomatillos until tender. Throw it all in a blender and puree. (You can add cebolla and/or cilantro if it makes your boat float.)
It’s great on tacos and burritos.
JR
Clearly you’re no longer a Republican. I mean, letting Michael put up a South Park video and you posting a simple, one-sentence “Merry Christmas” message is like putting up a flashing “Not a Republican” neon sign.
Thank God for RedState and their really, really ostentatious display of Christmas spirit! Someone’s gotta sanctify the blogosphere.
demimondian
Best demi-present — a pair of wireless 2.4GHz headphones. Much easier to rock out with the music when coding without experiencing the whole “cord-wrapped-tight-around-the-neck” thing.
ThymeZone
SoCal residents, the La Pinata in Indio has had the best green chile west of the Colorado for at least 25 years. Unless the place has changed hands, I’m sure it still does.
Washed down with a Negra Modelo or a margarita, a great way to try some really authentic food in these parts.
ThymeZone
Sounds yummy!
If you are anywhere near SoCal, take a ride out I-10 and visit the La Pinata in Indio for some of that chile and a cold beverage. Great day trip.
ThymeZone
Sorry, wrong clip, I meant this one:
myiq2xu
Norcal, between Fresno and Sac’to. I’ve found a good rule of thumb is look for a restaurant where nobody speaks English and it’s busy every night. It might not be fancy but it will be good.
myiq2xu
Oh, yeah – if they put pickled carrots and pickled cabbage on the table without bothering to ask if you want any, and there’s a bottle of El Tapatio hot sauce next to the napkins (serviettes) you’re probably gonna be happy.
I love buying tacos and burritos from the taco trucks (tres tacos de carne asada con todo, por favor) and any place that has tortas and flautas on the menu (without English translations) is worth a try.
I just realized that it’s Navidad and I haven’t had any tamales yet this year. Shit!
Tsulagi
Okay, I have no doubt your sister is a kind, considerate, wonderful person. But a crockpot? No offense, but that’s a gift you give to grandma for crissakes.
Last I read you’re a single guy. Tickets to a New Year’s Eve party where you could hope to get lucky would have been better. Or a gift certificate to a local Madame Palfrey’s franchise where no luck is required. Start the New Year right. Get some sin Jesus would be proud to clean.
Merry Xmas to all!
protected static
Get a copy of the Not Your Mother’s Slow Cook Cookbook. We have this one, plus the ‘entertaining’ version, and have yet to hit a dud recipe.
myiq2xu
Somehow I can’t picture my right-wing fundamentalist sister buying me an “E” ticket to Madame Palfrey’s. (if you don’t understand the “E” ticket reference, you’re under 40)
Crock pots are cool cuz you can throw together a meal on Sunday morning (while you’re halfway between hungover and drunk again) and then spend the day watching your favorite NFL team get blown away while consuming excessive quanities of cheap beer.
When you come to sometime that evening, you can sate your hunger with a pretty good meal and then stagger off to bed to get ready for another week serving your corporate masters.
Perry Como
myiq2xu Says:
Oooh. I have leftover duck from today, some masa harina in the cabinet and some banana leaves in the freezer. I know what I’m making tomorrow.
Tsulagi Says:
Chili, chile, pozole, goulash, sauerbraten, brisket, Guinness stew. You were saying?
J Bean
I like onion soup, but it’s a pain in the a$$ to make. That is it was a pain, until I discovered the crockpot in my husband’s trousseau (a.k.a. “that pile of crap in the garage”). Slice up 8-10 lbs of onions, toss them with a couple of tablespoons of olive oil, fill the crock pot chuck full, and cook them on high for 9-10 hours. Divide the resulting mess of succulent, brown, carmelized onions into 3 or 4 portions and freeze them. When you want onion soup, you pull a package out of the freezer, thaw it, throw in some thyme and a bay leaf, white wine, broth from a box, and at the very end, a slosh or two of brandy. The hot soup then goes into crocks, is topped with bread and cheese, and run under the broiler for a moment. In the meantime, you scrounge for not overly wrinkled or slimey salad stuff in the frigo and presto! you have dinner.
The Other Steve
I really do not like the flavor of jalapenos.
Other peppers are fine, even really hot ones, but jalapenos have a bizarre oiliness to them that makes me sick.
myiq2xu
I’m planning on starting a diet in 1 week so knock it off!
myiq2xu
Real tamales are made from pork and masa and come wrapped in a corn husk. If you bought them at a store, you didn’t get the real thing.
That being said, duck tamales sound interesting.
myiq2xu
There are numerous types of peppers, from very mild wax peppers to ones that will make you cry twice (once today, once tommorrow.)
The general rule is the smaller they are, the hotter they are. I think the tiny red ones are responsible for global warming. I like food that bites back.
Even hotter than Cholula hot sauce is Thai Chili paste. That shit will make you want to sit in a bucket of ice the day after you eat it. You’ll feel like someone is using an acetylene torch on you anus. If you can handle chili paste, you’ll laugh at the cops if they pepper spray you.
PaulW
Crock Pot for Guys: Chili, Chili, and more Chili.
You got beef chili, bean chili, turkey chili, chicken chili, chili with cheese, chili with cinnamon, chili with onions, chili with green peppers, red peppers, yellow peppers, white peppers, purple peppers with paisley polkadots (say that five times fast). Two tons of chili, if the Crock Pot be strong enough.
myiq2xu
Somebody is smoking nopalitos.
myiq2xu
Bad Santa is on, Lauren Graham is hot, I gotta go for now.
ThymeZone
Teaser!
Perry Como
It depends on what you mean by real tamales. Fresh masa is used in real tamales, but it’s virtually impossible to find unless there’s a tortilla place around. I’ve found masa harina works fine. The texture is a bit off, but good enough.
Tamales can be stuffed with pretty much anything. Shredded pork is common, but so is chicken, beans, cheese, greens, or mushrooms. It depends on the region.
Speaking of regions, most people are familiar with corn husks for steaming, but when you get down around the Yucatan, banana leaves are the vessel of choice. I’ll probably do some sort of Oaxacan style: wrapped in banana leaves, stuffed with duck (not really too authentic, but hey), with a pumpkin seed mole.
myiq2xu
I’m watching Bad Santa and I just realized that Michelle Malkin plays the midget’s (non-midget) wife.
I’m not saying she’s ugly, but there’s a reason beer comes in a paper bag.
myiq2xu
You obviously don’t live in the Southwest. Out here, we have more “tortilla places” than liquor stores. And we have a LOT of liquor stores.
ThymeZone
Out here, menudo is the breakfast of champions.
Perry Como
Nah, but I used to live in NM. That’s why I have a freezer full of Hatch chiles right now :)
Michael D.
My parents bought me a Wii. I’m 38, don’t generally like video games, and I couldn’t be happier!
Dreggas
Cholula? Hot? Hell I am eating that right now on some tortilla chips with melted cheese, that’s not that hot. The Siracha (thai chili hot sauce) is liquid fire you only need a drop to flavor a full pan of food.
I actually recommend Cholula to everyone I know because it has a lot of FLAVOR but is not nearly as bad as some of the other hot sauces heat wise.
ThymeZone
Cholula has flavor, not a lot of heat.
That asian chili paste stuff is scary hot. I mean, it’s cardiac event hot. Not in the same class as Cholula.
There are peppers out there that can knock you out just from the fumes.
EL
Since chili verde is nicely covered here already…
Another good one is lentils and lamb. Pour a few cups of lentils into the slow cooker. Add some cut up carrots. Brown chunks of lamb and some sliced onions (or be lazy as I am, slice the onions onto broiler type pan, and lay the lamb on top. Run the pan under the broiler until the meat and onions are somewhat browned.) Transfer the lamb and onions to the slow cooker. Pour any grease off the pan, then deglaze it with chicken stock (I recommend Swanson’s Natural Goodness, lower salt than their regular.) Throw in some garlic if you like, and some thyme if you have it. Wait several hours and feast.
The slow cooker is very good with several types of beans. I make split pea soup with smoked turkey necks in it, as well.
EL
I hope you don’t need exact recipes, John!
Alexandra
lazy man’s chicken: 3 to 4 lbs. chicken. Some bottled barbecue sauce. Cook it for a while. You can shred it if you want and put some on a bun.
EL
protected static, thanks. I have a few slow cooker books, but this one looks very good. Better yet, there’s another version “Not Your Mother’s Slow Cooker Recipes for Two: For the Small Slow Cooker”
Thanks again!
Krista
Ooo! I’d love to have those — that cord drives me bonkers thwapping against my neck when I run.
Xmas was good. Just got back from the in-laws where my dad-in-law cracked open his bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label, and my mom-in-law cooked enough food for an army. I’m so full right now, I can’t imagine ever being hungry again. But I’ll sleep well — Mom got me 600-thread-count sheets for xmas, and they’re sooooooo nice. All in all, a very satisfactory holiday.
Perry Como
Siracha isn’t hot. Mix it with some mayo and sashimi grade tuna and you have the filling for a tuna roll. Hot is grilled habeneros with pickled onions. Goes great with steak.
Emma Anne
Note that crockpots work by forming a seal between the lid and the pot, and slightly pressure cooking the food. So you need to put the lid on properly (don’t fill it to full to put the lid all the way on) and not keep opening it to poke the food. Other helpful hints:
– If you brown meat before you throw it in it tastes better
– use less liquid than you think, because none of it evaporates
– use less spices than you think because they get stronger during all the cooking.
John Cole
I kinda like the crock pot as a gift.
And I was hoping for some specific non-chili recipes. I love chili, but would like something else. Anything healthy while still tasty would be cool.
ThymeZone
There is NO pressure factor in a slow cooker, at all, zero.
Even the slightest overpressure inside the crockpot will lift the lid and it will burp itself. There is no significant pressure differential between the pot and the outside of the pot.
A pressure cooker requires a sealed and locked lid and a pressure control valve.
Geesh.
Krista
Tasty, but not healthy, is if you get some of the Club House Seasonings (do they have that where you guys are?) for slow cooker BBQ pork. Cook up a pork roast with the seasoning and instructions, and voila! Pulled pork sandwiches. Not healthy, but very tasty.
If you do decide to cook a roast beef in the slow cooker, it’s still a good idea to sear it first — it adds more flavour.
Asti
Here you go John. Enjoy!
There’s lots of different things you can make. There’s even crock pot recipe books out there too.
I agree with TZ there is a huge difference between a crock pot and a pressure cooker!
cleek
chili verde?
20 minutes: one little can of Herdez chili verde, equal amount of water, 1 lb diced pork, 1/4 of an onion. brown the pork, get the onion translucent, add chili verde and water, simmer for 20 minutes (a.k.a. enough time to cook a bunch of rice). done.
ThymeZone
Uh, clee, no, that stuff may be green and people may call it chile verde, but it’s not. Any more than catsup is spagehtti sauce.
You meant, Herdez Salsa Verde, did you not? That’s mostly tomatillos.
The flavor of true chile verde is the flavor of an anaheim, or preferably hatch, chile, stewed with pork and potatotes.
The flavor is the mild stewed anaheim chile. Tomatillos, jalapenos and other green things may make you a green sauce, but it isn’t chile verde, the green chile stew.
The Hatch is a variety of Anaheim grown mostly in the Mesilla Valley of New Mexico.
Caveat emptor, there are a lot of hideous concoctions out there pimped as “green chile” or “chile verde.”
There is only one true green chile stew, and the recipe is upthread.
demimondian
Couple of things.
First, pretty much any meat can be cooked in a slow cooker. We do a lot of beef stew in the winter that way — 2 lbs beef roast cut into 1 inch cubes and browned with onions, 1-2 c water, the onions, carrots, potatoes in 1 1/2 in cubes, parsnips and/or turnips. Season with a spice mixture of pepper and thyme.
Cook for A Long Time, typically several hours. It’s a good idea to watch the water level if you can.
To finish the stew, thicken the stock with flour paste for a traditional opaque broth, or with arrowroot or corn starch, for a transparent glistening broth.
ThymeZone
Yes, demi, what you are describing is basically a pot roast, cut up before cooking.
The same thing can be done on a stove, although it takes patience to keep the heat that low. However with a good roast, you are better off to cook it whole and do a conventional pot roast in a large pot at very low simmer. The meat will be fall-apart tender. Also, you can stage the eating vegetables (as opposed to the flavor ones) later in the cooking cycle so that they don’t overcook.
wasabi gasp
Hey, I got a crock pot from my sister, too. No shit. But, the best gift I got was from my girlfriend: she locked the keys in the car with the engine running just as we were about to leave my folks place. I also got socks and sweaters and stuff, but the locked running car was a big surprise. :)
demimondian
Yes, TZ, I know. I also know how to make a mirepoix (not to mention how to spell it), as well as all of the mother sauces. I can prepare a brown beef stock from knuckles. I can even make a proper Omelette, as well as the simple Omelette Bonne Femme.
I also know that John isn’t interested in lectures in haute cuisine, but rather in feeding himself.
ThymeZone
Well, don’t they have Dinty Moore Beef Stew in West Virginia?
Oh wait, the crock pot comes with its own little cookbook. Probably where you learned to cook.
Programmers! Something ought to be done about them.
Perry Como
Crock pot coq au vin = win
ThymeZone
Croq au win?
Perry Como
TZ wins.
ThymeZone
Do I get a free carwash coupon?
Perry Como
You get a one year subscription to Beurre Blanc magazine.
ThymeZone
I prefer The Crisco Times.
demimondian
This isn’t a Michael D. thread, TZ.
ThymeZone
Heh.
I meant “Trans Fat Free Crisco” of course.
Geesh.
Krista
Here now, that was uncalled for.
Buncha reprobates….
demimondian
You must be new here. Welcome.
Perry Como
MOAR EGGNOG!
ThymeZone
Burp.
‘Scuse me.
Krista
Gad – I ate at 4:30. It’s now 12:57, and I’m just starting to not feel like I’m going to explode.
demimondian
Wow. That’s some serious indulgence, K.
Pb
Merry Christmas!
I haven’t had much luck with the crockpots in the past, sometimes they just run a bit too hot and burn things, but I’ll comb though the recipies nonetheless. :)
ThymeZone
Please! If there is anything I hate, it’s a hair in my gumbo.
incontrolados
I got a freezer. I think it’s because I asked my mom to store a turkey for me before Thanksgiving.
weird
Breschau
Okay – two crock-pot recipes. You’re welcome.
Beef Stew with Tomatoes
———————–
2 tbsp olive oil
2 lbs beef bottom round, cubed
1 vidalia onion, sliced
1 can whole tomatoes in puree
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
2 tbsp brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 bay leaf
Red wine (pinot noir, merlot, etc)
4 large carrots, chopped into 1″ pieces
4 white potatoes, chopped into 1″ pieces
Heat oil in a saute pan, and brown the meat. In the crock pot, heat onion and saute, 2 minutes. Add beef, tomatoes, vinegar, sugar, ginger, cinnamon and bay leaf and stir. Simmer 20 minutes.
Add carrots and potatoes. Add wine to cover. Simmer 2 hours, or until vegetables are tender. Discard bay leaf. Serve.
BBQ Pork Chops
————–
8 (5-ounce) center cut pork chops
Pepper to taste
1/2 cup BBQ sauce (pick your own)
1 (14.5 oz) can stewed tomatoes, undrained
1 (10 oz) package frozen vegetable seasoning blend
Trim chops, sprinkle with pepper, brown both sides.
Combine chops, BBQ sauce, tomatoes, and vegetables in crock pot. Cover and cook for 4 hours. Serve over rice.
Krista
Yeah. Turkey. Mashed potatoes. Gravy. Oyster Stuffing. Green Beans. Mashed sweet potatoes with pecans. Homemade rolls ‘n’ butter. Then there was dessert.
And tomorrow night will be leftovers. Which I know will be very appetizing at the time. But right now…just the thought of it….bleurgh.
Andrew J. Lazarus
I use my crockpot for exactly one recipe: chocolate fondue. I’ll try to find it.
Breschau
Someone please explain to me the draw of this rather nasty-sounding dish. I only eat Oysters out of the shell, and even then just because I feel like I have to because it’s a manly thing. And I have to keep up my image on occasion. (No, seriously – my father loves raw seafood, so I do it with him. Still don’t understand it.)
Why in God’s name would someone eat an appetizer made with this ingredient? What could possibly draw you to it?
Perry Como
As a rule of thumb, any soup or stew will work well in a crock pot. I find they are almost always better than stove top recipes. The flavors have more time to meld, simliar to how leftover soup is better the next day.
What’s your comfort level with cooking? I don’t typically write recipes down, but I can give rough proportions of ingredients and some good ideas (bigos is fantastic with a bit of cognac in it). I only use the crock pot this time of year, but over the last few years I have some definite favorites. Not sure how many could be made healthy, but I’d be happy to try.
Pro tip: The quality of your soups and stews are — at least — directly proportional to the quality of your stock. If you want to make something truly divine, spend a free weekend day making some stock to freeze[0] for later use. Your palate will thank you.
[0] – I used up the last of my frozen dark chicken stock making a green chile sauce that would make Sadie’s[1] blush
[1] – Those from NM know where I’m talking about
Perry Como
Gumbo in a crock pot? Ewww.
ThymeZone
Oh sure.
To quote a great American:
cain
Man.. now I want a crock pot :( Sounds like I could make a kick ass stew with it. I learned about chile verde. I’m not sure we can get those kind of chiles (other than annaheim) here in the northwest. (unless one of you northwesterners know soething I don’t)
cain
Evilbeard
What’s all this talk of green chiles? My wife’s family (who are all here in the house with us for xmas) are from NM and when they talk chile they mean the RED ones. I don’t mean hot just the red hatch chiles.
In fact, I just had some on a homemade tamale and dinner was pozole and tamales and we had beans with chile and chicos for xmas eve dinner.
Now excuse me while I go grab some biscochitos! =P
Perry Como
ThymeZone Says:
A gumbo is neither a soup nor a stew. It’s gumbo. God created cast iron on the 6th day for a reason.
Asti
You eat food to satisfy other people’s concerns about your gender? You’re one strange mo-fo!
I am female, and I LOVE oysters. I also eat raw fish on occasion, and of course raw shrimp, and you know what? I eat what i like, not to satisfy someone else’s viewpoint of who I should be. Just some FOOD FOR THOUGHT!
You know, if you don’t like oysters, then perhaps it would be better if you just DON’T EAT THEM!
Asti
Can you tell me exactly what date that occurred on? I can’t seem to find it in my history book.
myiq2xu
Couple of points John:
Don’t confuse Chili with Chile. Like men and women, they are similar but not the same.
A crock pot is not very good for heating up food, especially if you’re in a hurry. That’s why it’s called a slow cooker.
OTOH, it can be used to keep food warm at a pot luck. Heat it on the stove, pour it in the CP, set it on the table/counter and plug it in.
A CP is great for keeping tamales warm, but put a mall inverted plate or foil pan under them and add a little water to keep them from drying out.
Resist the temptation to remove the lid while you’re cooking, it releases the heat and the moisture.
Any meat you cook will end up tender and juicy (if you’ve done it right) like a pot roast.
If you cut up the food in smaller pieces it cooks faster.
When in doubt, use low heat. I usually start on high just to get the pot warmed up and then turn it down.
It takes a little practice to get used to cooking with a CP, and each one is different.
If you’re cooking for yourself, use a small one, because it’s hard to properly cook small servings in a large one.
Seasonings are a personal preference issue but whatever you use you’ll need less of than with other methods.
The classic rookie mistake is adding more seasoning at the beginning because it doesn’t taste hot/strong enough. The flavor gets stronger as it cooks.
Some other things to cook that I didn’t notice mentioned: Corn on the cob, yams, apples, peaches, squash, artichokes and mushrooms.
Don’t depend on recipes, be creative. Worst case scenario is you end up hitting the drive-thru at Mickey D’s or call in a pizza.
Merry Christmas!
Perry Como
The 6th day after he blinked Himself into existence. Duh.
What are you, some kind of atheist?
myiq2xu
Oops, forgot one last point – you can add water without removing the lid by slowly dribbling it around the edge of the lid.
myiq2xu
I love cooking in a properly seasoned cast iron skillet. It takes a while to break them in, but once you get them just right they are less sticky than teflon and you can use metal utensils.
Just right = when the bottom is smooth and shiny like a black mirror.
David
Pulled Pork
4 lb. Pork Butt
Sauce (will be made twice)
1-1/2 C. ketchup
1/4 C. brown sugar
1/4 C. red wine vinegar (1st batch only)
1/4 C. red wine (2nd batch)
2 tbl. Dijon mustard
2 tbl. Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp. Liquid Smoke
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
Mix the first batch of sauce. Cut the pork into large chunks and place in crock pot. Pour sauce over meat and cook 8 hours (or more) on high.
Remove meat and discard sauce.
Shred meat, removing all fatty chunks and bones. Put shredded meat back in crock pot.
Mix the second batch of sauce, pour over meat in crock pot and mix in. Run crock pot again on high about one hour to heat thoroughly.
myiq2xu
An escaped tiger killed a man at the San Francisco Zoo yesterday. The same tiger attacked a zoo keeper last year.
When I first read the story I remembered Zigfried and Roy, and it occurred to me that there is a sick and tacky joke in there somewhere about gay men apparently not being the only ones who like the taste of man meat.
Sick and tacky humor is a specialty of mine.
4tehlulz
Someone help me out here. Why does this qualify as a national news story?
7-year-old Texas girl dies on new bike
andante
1) Buy some cheap, tough, thin steaks. Buy more than you think you’ll need.
2) Toss in crockpot.
3) Add an envelope of store-brand Onion Gravy mix.
4) Add water to cover and stir.
5) Cook on low all day.
6) Steaks will be fall-apart tender; gravy is yummy. Service with rice or instant mashed potatoes (ALWAYS add a dollop of sour cream when mixing them).
7) Minimum effort, maximum YUM.
andante
1) Throw some spareribs or beef ribs in crockpot.
2) Cover with bottle BBQ sauce (you can mix it before hand with either a cola – not diet – or beer to ‘stretch’ it out).
3) Cook all day on low.
Signed –
The Queen of Cheap, Easy Crockpot Cooking. I love throwing something in the pot, going to work, then coming home to a decent homecooked meal without having slaved over it – just like my family has been doing for years.
myiq2xu
Some editor must have
been pissed off that he didn’t get a Red Ryder BB gun yesterdaydecided that here wasn’t enough sadness in the world.daryljfontaine
Agreed with the simple onion-gravy + meat recipe, that is a timesaver and makes some damned yummy beef.
Here’s my favorite crock pot recipe:
U.S. Senate Bean Soup
At least their kitchen gets something right. What really makes the soup is the 4 cups of prepared mashed potatoes added to thicken it up. This soup will stick to your ribs, and makes enough for a large party of friends, or will freeze well for tons of leftovers.
The wife and I were sick (stomach virus) this Christmas weekend, or I’d already have a hambone ready to make soup with. Oh well, just gonna have to wait for New Year’s again.
myiq2xu
Changed (not fixed, just another idea)
Kirk Spencer
A recommendation that may help you down the road.
Use an oven thermometer to determine what temperature your crockpot runs at. If you’ve more than one setting (mine does “warm”, “low”, and “high”) check them all.
Every so often you’ll discover a recipe that will work because the temperature is right.
Carnacki
Pork stew with corn meal dumplings
Brown about 1 pound of pork stew meat (or use pork tenderloin cut into cubes) with one garlic clove minced.
Add last to crockpot.
Also add:
1 can of beer,
1 28 ounce can crushed or diced tomatoes depending upon how you like it.
6 carrots cut into 1/2 inch pieces
3 or 4 potatoes cubed (peeled or unpeeled)
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon thyme (thyme is always on your side)
1/4 cup quick cooking tapioca (always keep quick cooking tapioca on hand when you have a crockpot. It’s great for thickening stew broths)
Cook 5-6 hours on high or 10-12 hours on low.
An hour before it’s finished, take a 1/2 cup flour, 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese, 1/3 cup cornmeal, 1 teaspoon baking powder and a dash of pepper and stir together in a mixing bowl. Then take an egg, 2tablespoons of milk, 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil and beat together then pour into mixing bowl and stir until moist. Drop spoonfuls of the mixture on top of your stew. It’ll sink a little. Don’t worry about it. You can also sprinkle some more cheddar cheese on top of the dumplings if you like. Put the lid back on and cover and turn up to high and cook for another hour.
…
Also, whenever you cook the meat and vegetables, together, put the vegetables in first.
atari_age
First a suggestion: Never use a slow cooker with FROZEN meat. It’s somewhat risky, health-wise, even though it will ultimately cook. Anything thawed is fine.
Super easy Pulled Beef/Pork/Chicken:
1) Add meat to pot (cutting into chunks – largish is fine – might help, but I don’t know if it’s necessary)
2) Add BBQ sauce – bottled or your own creation
Sauce doesn’t have to cover the meat completely, though I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt.
3) Cook for 8-10 hours.
4) After long cooking the meat should practically start shredding when you stick a fork in it. Regardless, shred the meat with forks. It should be easy.
5) Let it cook another hour so that the sauce permeates every shred. (Especially with chicken breast, the sauce doesn’t get deep into the chunks. This fixes that.)
6) Do whatever it is you do with pulled meats.
myiq2xu
Clean up then zip up?
(It’s not New Years yet, so my resolution to stop making crude attempts at humor doesn’t count yet)
Joey Maloney
Best accessory for your new slow cooker is a package of liner bags. When you’re down to just gravy and bones you lift it out and toss it in the trash. The crock stays sparkling clean.
You’ll often find them in the kosher aisle of your local megamart, because observant Jews use them so they don’t need to buy two separate crocks for meat and vegetarian.
daryljfontaine
Agreed with the simple onion-soup + meat recipe, that is a timesaver and makes some darned (darn filter) yummy beef.
Here’s my favorite crock pot recipe:
U.S. Senate Bean Soup
At least their kitchen gets something right. What really makes the soup is the 4 cups of prepared mashed potatoes added to thicken it up. This soup will stick to your ribs, and makes enough for a large party of friends, or will freeze well for tons of leftovers.
The wife and I were sick (stomach virus) this Christmas weekend, or I’d already have a hambone ready to make soup with. Oh well, just gonna have to wait for New Year’s again.
EL
Heresy! I’d never use metal utensils on my cast iron pan!
Darkness
Read the instructions; you can eff some things up with a crock pot. First, it can take literally hours for something like chicken to leave the danger zone. According to the instructions as long as it takes less than 4 hours (!!!) things are going hunky dorey. Secondly, DO NOT OPEN the crockpot until it is done. You loose roughly 45 minutes of cooking time each time you do. If you need to see in and steam is blocking your view, give the lid a spin without raising it. This will clear off the water by clumping it into the larger droplets. We figured out we can add water to ours without opening it, just by pouring (boiling hot so as to not slow the cooking) liquid on the cover edge where it can slip under and inside. The manual did not mention this but it worked like a charm.
Darkness
…follow-on to previous crockpot post. You can open the crockpot, once, to add the seasonings about 1/2 hour before it finishes. Seasonings should not be added before then because they will lose most of their flavor over the long cooking time.
There, I think that is it. Oh, yeah, a recipe. Turkey meat (skinned, bones removed, chicken and turkey skin become rubber in the crockpot), red onion, sweet potatoes, squeeze of honey, lime slices, chicken stock. Add chipolte to taste just before finished. Garnish with cilantro.
Svensker
Brown some chicken parts in a skillet in oil or butter. Coarsely chop some onions, carrots and red potatoes. Put veg in bottom of crock pot, sprinkle with salt, pepper and a little tarragon. Put chicken on top of veg, pour a couple of good glugs of a dry white wine over all. Season chicken with salt and pepper and a little tarragon. Cook until done, then eat, preferably with more o’ that white wine.
(You don’t HAVE to brown the chicken first, but I like the taste and the look better.)
Demdude
The best thing about a crockpot is you can be lazy as you want.
For Christmas dinner, I got a couple of sauces from William Sonoma. All that needed to be done was to throw a Pork Roast or Tenderloin in the pot and the sauce with a little water. That was it (the Morrocan Sauce was fantastic). I did this with another Crockpot with Beef and a different sauce. (You cannot have too many crockpots!).
My sister did the same thing for her in-laws and got rave reviews (they had to cut cards the see who got the leftovers).
In the past did searing of the meat beforehand. Didn’t really find a great deal of difference in the taste, especially if you use a strong sauce. Again, as lazy as you want.
Demdude
One more recipe I got off a web site that was extremely good:
CROCK POT SCALLOPED POTATOES
12 med. potatoes
1/4 c. chopped onion
1 c. sour cream
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 c. shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 c. butter
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
Peel and chop or slice potatoes. Cook in water to cover for 3 minutes; drain. Add remaining ingredients; mix well. Spoon into crock pot. Cook on high 3 hours. 10 servings.
You can hear your arteries closing as you put each bite in your mouth. But we’re all going to die someday!
Here is a treasure trove of crockpot recipes:
http://www.crock-pot.com/
Demdude
CROCK POT SCALLOPED POTATOES
Oops. Forgot to mention that the recipe is much better if you carmelize the onions.
Mary
I recommend any recipe book by Judith Finlayson. The classic “dump” method (put ingredients into pot, add liquid or spices, go away until it’s done) can make several very tasty dishes, but adding in a little prep time to brown meats or caramelize veggies can make a real difference.
Mary
(I’ll pretend I meant to post prematurely). Anyway, Finlayson’s books are great. Buy any of them as they all feature lots of pan-ethnic stews, pot roasts, curries and soups as well as desserts.
From one of the most battered and stained pages in my copy of The 150 Best Slow Cooker Recipes:
Pork Chops with Onions in Creamy Mustard Sauce
1 T olive or canola oil
4 to 6 pork chops, 1 inch thick
2 onions, thinly sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 t dry mustard
1.2 t salt
1 t pepper (freshly cracked peppercorns if you can get them)
2 T flour
1 T cider vinegar
1/2 c white wine OR undiluted condensed chicken stock
2 T Dijon mustard
1/2 cup cream (anything from light to whipping, depending on your arteries)
1. In a skillet, brown pork chops in oil, then place in bottom of crock pot.
2. Sweat sliced onions over medium heat until softened. Add garlic, dry mustard, salt and pepper (and a little cayenne if you like) and cook for one minute. Add vinegar and (wine or stock) and cook until thickened.
3. Pour mixture over meat and cook on Low 4-5 hours or High for 2-2.5 hours, until pork is tender and just a hint of pink remains.
4. Remove pork and place on platter. Stir Dijon and cream into juices, then pour all over pork.
Emma Anne
OK, recipes:
(1) Pot roast. Brown a roast. Put it in the crockpot with an onion, garlic, mushrooms, celery, a bay leaf, and a cup of beef bouillion. Cook on low all day. Next time I am going to add some worsteshire sauce and red wine.
(2) Taco soup. Brown a pound of hamburger. Add to crockpot with a diced onion, 1/3 cup salsa, about a third of a packet of powdered taco seasoning, and 1 1/2 cups of beef bouillion. Serve with sour cream and shredded cheese on top. This only needs to cook for a few hours, but all day is fine too.
dBa
That’s the beauty of Crock Pots, you don’t need recipes.
Find some meat or chicken, throw in some type of liquid(beer, wine, tomatoe paste or sauce, bbq sauce, broths or condensed soups) , add some herbs and spices, some vegetables…
Use your imagination, not recipes.
DrDave
Easy meals:
Buy a pack of Carroll Shelby’s chili mix (in the little brown paper bag). Add the chili mix and hot pepper packet if you like heat to 2 lbs of ground beef or finely diced steak (round or chuck london broil works well; no bigger than 1/2 inch dice). Add a 14 oz can of whole or crushed tomatoes, an 8 oz can of tomato sauce, some diced chipotle (canned) and green chile (canned). Turn the crock pot on high, cover and walk away for 6 hours. Come back and add salt to taste, beans if you want them and the masa pack (slurry it in a little water first). Pop a cold one and enjoy. Diced onion and grated cheddar/jack cheese make good condiments.
Easier:
Slice up a pound of hot or sweet italian sausage (or a pound of each), add a pound of premade Italian meatballs, some julienned green and/or red pepper and a sweet onion, add a 28 oz jar of your favorite pasta sauce, turn on high and walk away for 6 hours. Serve over pasta or on crusty French bread.
Gotta love the crock pot.
RSA
“U.S. Senate”? Oh, a historical recipe. At first I thought it might be because it didn’t include black beans.
w vincentz
Merry Christmasw to all.
Some good recipes have been posted. Being a “yankee”, I’ll share a couple of mine.
Venison Stew
First, get youself a bumper Bambi. Just keep your eyes open for something big and brown laying on the side of the road. Slit from the underside of the skin, tail to neck.
Carve out the back straps and toss them in a plastic bag until you get home.
Now, chunk Bambi’s back into one inch cubes.
Dice up an onion, a carrot, some celery and about five cloves of garlic. Add about a quarter cup of Italian salad dressing and fire up your crock pot. After about five hours, throw in a can of cream of mushroom soup and a half can of milk. An hour later, ladel it over egg noodles. Your tongue will be so happy!
Bumper Bunny
These are smaller brown critters that you might be lucky enough to find in your travels. Since their hoppin’ days are over, I just put ’em in the trunk until I get home. Peel the skin off from the back and cut them into quarters.
I usually put two in the crock pot, but if you only have one, one of those bushy tailed grey rodents will work.
Brown them first in a skillet, then to the pot. Pour in a bottle of red wine, an onion, a carrot, and six cloves of garlic. After five hours, put pillsbury biscuits (the ones in the litttle cardboard can) over the top of everything. Give it another hour. Then scoop this feast out and enjoy.
By the way, you can subsitute woodchuck (ground hog) if you don’t come across Peter Cottontail.
I amazes me that so many people bitch about the high price of food after they’ve driven past such perfectly good fixin’s on their way to their supermarket.
Well. not me! Eat free…and live the same way!
protected static
Finlayson’s book is also quite good. If you follow her recipes exactly, they’re little fussier than the ones in the “Not Your Mother’s” books, but “150 Recipes” was definitely our favorite slow-cook cook book until we found Hensperger.
Jill
Easiest. Pot. Roast. Ever.
Take a bottom round roast or brisket. Trim visible fat. Brown all sides in a frypan in a little olive oil. Let cool.
Rub with 1 envelope onion soup mix. Put in crockpot. Surround with carrots. Pour in 1 bottle good beer (I use Sam Adams Boston Lager). Turn crockpot on and go about your business.
When done, pour liquid into a plastic bag and hold until fat rises to the top. Cut a very small opening at the lower corner and pour off liquid until fat is at the bottom. Toss fat and bag.
Put the liquid in a saucepan. Heat to boiling, stirring frequently and adding 2-4 Tbs. Wondra flour to thicken to desired consistency.
Original Lee
Theoretically Healthy Casserole
1 lb. ground turkey
1 jar Newman’s Own Sockarooni spaghetti sauce or Prego Organic Garden pasta sauce
1 large can (>20 oz.) diced tomatoes
1 cup brown or jasmine rice
Onion powder to taste
~1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
Brown the turkey in a skillet with olive oil. Transfer to crock pot. Add other ingredients except chicken broth and stir thoroughly. Add enough chicken broth to make mixture soupy (about the consistency of tomato soup) and stir some more. Put on lid and cook 8-12 hours on low.