Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

People are weird.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

To the privileged, equality seems like oppression.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

You would normally have to try pretty hard to self-incriminate this badly.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

The only way through is to slog through the muck one step at at time.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

This really is a full service blog.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

You are here: Home / Humorous / Merry F**king Christmas (NSFW)

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43Comments

  4. 4.

    myiq2xu

    Last night was horrible. First, I had some guy try to break into my house. So I went outside and I saw a guy in a red jogging suit. I fired my gun in the air to scare him away, and some big smelly animal fell off the roof onto my head. While I was laying there on the ground the burglar got away.

    Then the cops show up and didn’t believe my story so they cited me for hunting without a license!

    BTW – Does anyone have a recipe for cooking reindeer?

  13. 13.

    myiq2xu

    Happy hunting, myiq.

    It was an accident I tell you! I hunt less than Mitt Romney. When I want meat I stalk and kill a steak at the supermarket.

    BTW – Check out “Christmas in Jail” on YouTube

  15. 15.

    myiq2xu

    So far this season I’ve seen all my favorite Christmas movies except two: Miracle on 34th Street (the original) and A Christmas Carol (with Alistair Sim)

    The ones I’ve seen: Bad Santa, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, White Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life and Reindeer Games (starring Charlize Theron’s funbags)

  16. 16.

    myiq2xu

    It occurs to me that Doughy Pantload probably loves It’s a Wonderful Life too, but for a different reason than me.

    Dough Boy Fudgepants probably gets all excited when Mr. Potter (Lionel Barrymore) is on screen. He would consider that mean old man to be a role model, and must think the world would have been a better place without George Bailey.

  18. 18.

    Libby Spencer

    Merry Fucking Whatever to all and sundry.

    I always cry at the end of It’s a Wonderful Life. I start getting misty when George Bailey kisses Bert the cop on the bridge and by the time Mary gets home, the tears are just rolling and don’t stop until Clarence gets his wings. And I’m always surprised that it can still make me cry after all these many years.

  20. 20.

    The Other Steve

    The ones I’ve seen: Bad Santa

    Bad Santa is a Christmas classic. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

    In fact, that’s what I am getting for Christmas from my sweety. ;-)

  22. 22.

    myiq2xu

    I always cry at the end of It’s a Wonderful Life.

    It’s hard to believe that the movie did poorly in theaters and didn’t reallty catch on until it had been shown on television a gazillion times.

    Capra was an unreconstructed New Dealer, or as Jo’Berg would say, a “librulfascist.”

    I find my eyes watering sometimes too, but it must be allergies or something, cuz us big boys don’t cry.

  23. 23.

    Dreggas

    myiq2xu Says:

    So far this season I’ve seen all my favorite Christmas movies except two: Miracle on 34th Street (the original) and A Christmas Carol (with Alistair Sim)

    The ones I’ve seen: Bad Santa, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, White Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life and Reindeer Games (starring Charlize Theron’s funbags)

    What no Christmas Story? No Monty Python’s Life Of Brian?

  24. 24.

    myiq2xu

    What no Christmas Story?

    I’m proud to say I’ve never seen it, despite the 24/7 marathon currently on TBS

  26. 26.

    ThymeZone

    A Christmas Story is a personal favorite. I watch it 2-3 times every Christmas.

    Same here, for 23 years now, meaning that I have seen it somewhere around 60-70 times I imagine.

    BUMPASES!

  27. 27.

    myiq2xu

    A Christmas Story is a personal favorite. I watch it 2-3 times every Christmas.

    Well, I guess I’m going to have to break down and watch it then. I better hurry, it’s only on about 10 more times today.

  28. 28.

    cleek

    It’s hard to believe that the movie did poorly in theaters and didn’t reallty catch on until it had been shown on television a gazillion times.

    same thing for A Christmas Story: it didn’t do well in the theaters when it was released – though I saw it! it didn’t really catch on till cable TV started showing it non-stop.

  29. 29.

    Libby Spencer

    Someone unexpected raved about A Christmas Story a few years ago and I’ve been wanting it catch ever since. Hard to believe, but I haven’t seen it yet.

    I haven’t seen A Christmas Carol (with Alistair Sim)in my listings at all. That’s my favorite version.

  30. 30.

    Ranger 3

    Kwanza…

    I always thought of it as something for angry pissed off black people who don’t want to convert to Islam.

    But what do I know, I’m just a stupid white male who wants to vote for Ron Paul.

  31. 31.

    Ranger 3

    A Christmas Story is a personal favorite. I watch it 2-3 times every Christmas.

    I’m burned out on that one. I liked it the first 20 times, but it got old.

    I prefer the old school stuff. The Grinch, Charlie Brown Christmas. Does anyone remember A Cricket in Times Square? I loved the book, as I recall they did make a cartoon of it.

  32. 32.

    Krista

    We watched Elf last night. Will Ferrell usually annoys me, but I do have to admit — I enjoyed this movie.

  34. 34.

    stuck in 200

    “Scrooge”, the Albert Finney semi-musical version of “A Christmas Carol,” is an underpraised classic. We watch it every Christmas Eve after church. NOT the Bill Murray version – that’s “Scrooged.” One letter is all the difference in the world.

  35. 35.

    Birdzilla

    Liberal lunkheads will have us giving our boys pink monkies and replace our popular christmas trees with HOLIDAY TREES i mean LIBERALS CAN BE SUCH A BUNCH OF WUSSIES

  37. 37.

    ImJohnGalt

    It’s hard to believe that the movie did poorly in theaters and didn’t reallty catch on until it had been shown on television a gazillion times.

    Y’know why it’s hard to believe? Because it’s not fucking true.

    From my Silver Screen Edition DVD Box:
    “Nominated for Five Oscars, including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Actor.”

    Sounds like it was a real dud.

    Oh, and Merry Fucking Christmas to you too!

  39. 39.

    The Other Steve

    Liberal lunkheads will have us giving our boys pink monkies and replace our popular christmas trees with HOLIDAY TREES i mean LIBERALS CAN BE SUCH A BUNCH OF WUSSIES

    Why the fuck would anybody want a pink monkey?

  41. 41.

    Dreggas

    Fe E Says:

    Why the fuck would anybody want a pink monkey?

    Or, more accurately; who WOULDN’T want a pink monkey?

    Uh..huh.huh…I’ve got a “pink monkey”

  42. 42.

    horatius

    Uh..huh.huh…I’ve got a “pink monkey”

    And like the Moustache of Understanding would say,

    SUCK. ON. THIS.

  43. 43.

    Dreggas

    horatius Says:

    Uh..huh.huh…I’ve got a “pink monkey”

    And like the Moustache of Understanding would say,

    SUCK. ON. THIS.

    Pet the monkey…the monkey likes you

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