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You are here: Home / Humorous / Merry F**king Christmas (NSFW)

Merry F**king Christmas (NSFW)

by Michael D.|  December 25, 20078:07 am| 43 Comments

This post is in: Humorous

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A classic. And a Christmas open thread.

Update: The grinches at YouTube ate the Mr. Garrison Christmas video. Happy day anyway!

Update II:

This one will probably die before the day is out, too!

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Previous Post: « Christmas Eve Open Thread
Next Post: And Yet Another Merry Christmas Thread »

Reader Interactions

43Comments

  1. 1.

    dslak

    December 25, 2007 at 8:20 am

    YouTube is sorry, but this video is no longer available.

  2. 2.

    myiq2xu

    December 25, 2007 at 8:43 am

    Dick Cheney must have ordered it destroyed.

  3. 3.

    Michael D.

    December 25, 2007 at 8:44 am

    Oh well, Merry christmas anyway!

  4. 4.

    myiq2xu

    December 25, 2007 at 8:50 am

    Last night was horrible. First, I had some guy try to break into my house. So I went outside and I saw a guy in a red jogging suit. I fired my gun in the air to scare him away, and some big smelly animal fell off the roof onto my head. While I was laying there on the ground the burglar got away.

    Then the cops show up and didn’t believe my story so they cited me for hunting without a license!

    BTW – Does anyone have a recipe for cooking reindeer?

  5. 5.

    Nikki

    December 25, 2007 at 9:43 am

    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to ya’ll!

  6. 6.

    Dreggas

    December 25, 2007 at 10:28 am

    Merry Christmas you neo-yuppie scumbags!

    Seriously Merry ChrismaChanaKwanza everyone.

  7. 7.

    Dreggas

    December 25, 2007 at 10:32 am

    Those Elves

    Letter To Santa

  8. 8.

    cleek

    December 25, 2007 at 10:49 am

    Happy Life Day, infidel heathen scum.

  9. 9.

    myiq2xu

    December 25, 2007 at 11:07 am

    Happy Life Day, infidel heathen scum.

    I’m no heathen, I’m an apostate.

  10. 10.

    Punchy

    December 25, 2007 at 11:58 am

    I’ll bite: what is “NSFW”?

  11. 11.

    myiq2xu

    December 25, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    I’ll bite: what is “NSFW”?

    Now Stop Fucking Whining?

  12. 12.

    demimondian

    December 25, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    Happy hunting, myiq.

  13. 13.

    myiq2xu

    December 25, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    Happy hunting, myiq.

    It was an accident I tell you! I hunt less than Mitt Romney. When I want meat I stalk and kill a steak at the supermarket.

    BTW – Check out “Christmas in Jail” on YouTube

  14. 14.

    The Other Steve

    December 25, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    Jesus vs Santa

    with spanish subtitles.

  15. 15.

    myiq2xu

    December 25, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    So far this season I’ve seen all my favorite Christmas movies except two: Miracle on 34th Street (the original) and A Christmas Carol (with Alistair Sim)

    The ones I’ve seen: Bad Santa, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, White Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life and Reindeer Games (starring Charlize Theron’s funbags)

  16. 16.

    myiq2xu

    December 25, 2007 at 1:09 pm

    It occurs to me that Doughy Pantload probably loves It’s a Wonderful Life too, but for a different reason than me.

    Dough Boy Fudgepants probably gets all excited when Mr. Potter (Lionel Barrymore) is on screen. He would consider that mean old man to be a role model, and must think the world would have been a better place without George Bailey.

  17. 17.

    Psycheout

    December 25, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    Not Safe for Wombats?

  18. 18.

    Libby Spencer

    December 25, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    Merry Fucking Whatever to all and sundry.

    I always cry at the end of It’s a Wonderful Life. I start getting misty when George Bailey kisses Bert the cop on the bridge and by the time Mary gets home, the tears are just rolling and don’t stop until Clarence gets his wings. And I’m always surprised that it can still make me cry after all these many years.

  19. 19.

    The Other Steve

    December 25, 2007 at 1:18 pm

    So apparently Mitt Romney’s father George was an illegal Mexican immigrant?

  20. 20.

    The Other Steve

    December 25, 2007 at 1:19 pm

    The ones I’ve seen: Bad Santa

    Bad Santa is a Christmas classic. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

    In fact, that’s what I am getting for Christmas from my sweety. ;-)

  21. 21.

    demimondian

    December 25, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    New South F*cking Wales

  22. 22.

    myiq2xu

    December 25, 2007 at 1:53 pm

    I always cry at the end of It’s a Wonderful Life.

    It’s hard to believe that the movie did poorly in theaters and didn’t reallty catch on until it had been shown on television a gazillion times.

    Capra was an unreconstructed New Dealer, or as Jo’Berg would say, a “librulfascist.”

    I find my eyes watering sometimes too, but it must be allergies or something, cuz us big boys don’t cry.

  23. 23.

    Dreggas

    December 25, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    myiq2xu Says:

    So far this season I’ve seen all my favorite Christmas movies except two: Miracle on 34th Street (the original) and A Christmas Carol (with Alistair Sim)

    The ones I’ve seen: Bad Santa, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, White Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life and Reindeer Games (starring Charlize Theron’s funbags)

    What no Christmas Story? No Monty Python’s Life Of Brian?

  24. 24.

    myiq2xu

    December 25, 2007 at 2:15 pm

    What no Christmas Story?

    I’m proud to say I’ve never seen it, despite the 24/7 marathon currently on TBS

  25. 25.

    John Cole

    December 25, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    A Christmas Story is a personal favorite. I watch it 2-3 times every Christmas.

  26. 26.

    ThymeZone

    December 25, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    A Christmas Story is a personal favorite. I watch it 2-3 times every Christmas.

    Same here, for 23 years now, meaning that I have seen it somewhere around 60-70 times I imagine.

    BUMPASES!

  27. 27.

    myiq2xu

    December 25, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    A Christmas Story is a personal favorite. I watch it 2-3 times every Christmas.

    Well, I guess I’m going to have to break down and watch it then. I better hurry, it’s only on about 10 more times today.

  28. 28.

    cleek

    December 25, 2007 at 2:54 pm

    It’s hard to believe that the movie did poorly in theaters and didn’t reallty catch on until it had been shown on television a gazillion times.

    same thing for A Christmas Story: it didn’t do well in the theaters when it was released – though I saw it! it didn’t really catch on till cable TV started showing it non-stop.

  29. 29.

    Libby Spencer

    December 25, 2007 at 7:45 pm

    Someone unexpected raved about A Christmas Story a few years ago and I’ve been wanting it catch ever since. Hard to believe, but I haven’t seen it yet.

    I haven’t seen A Christmas Carol (with Alistair Sim)in my listings at all. That’s my favorite version.

  30. 30.

    Ranger 3

    December 25, 2007 at 8:25 pm

    Kwanza…

    I always thought of it as something for angry pissed off black people who don’t want to convert to Islam.

    But what do I know, I’m just a stupid white male who wants to vote for Ron Paul.

  31. 31.

    Ranger 3

    December 25, 2007 at 8:34 pm

    A Christmas Story is a personal favorite. I watch it 2-3 times every Christmas.

    I’m burned out on that one. I liked it the first 20 times, but it got old.

    I prefer the old school stuff. The Grinch, Charlie Brown Christmas. Does anyone remember A Cricket in Times Square? I loved the book, as I recall they did make a cartoon of it.

  32. 32.

    Krista

    December 25, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    We watched Elf last night. Will Ferrell usually annoys me, but I do have to admit — I enjoyed this movie.

  33. 33.

    demimondian

    December 25, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    Oh, look, we have an out and out racist troll! John, you’re going up in the world when Ranger 3 infests your blog.

  34. 34.

    stuck in 200

    December 25, 2007 at 11:13 pm

    “Scrooge”, the Albert Finney semi-musical version of “A Christmas Carol,” is an underpraised classic. We watch it every Christmas Eve after church. NOT the Bill Murray version – that’s “Scrooged.” One letter is all the difference in the world.

  35. 35.

    Birdzilla

    December 25, 2007 at 11:29 pm

    Liberal lunkheads will have us giving our boys pink monkies and replace our popular christmas trees with HOLIDAY TREES i mean LIBERALS CAN BE SUCH A BUNCH OF WUSSIES

  36. 36.

    demimondian

    December 25, 2007 at 11:36 pm

    Happy Saucestice to you, too, Bird, and sincere wishes for a hoppy new year ale.

  37. 37.

    ImJohnGalt

    December 26, 2007 at 12:44 am

    It’s hard to believe that the movie did poorly in theaters and didn’t reallty catch on until it had been shown on television a gazillion times.

    Y’know why it’s hard to believe? Because it’s not fucking true.

    From my Silver Screen Edition DVD Box:
    “Nominated for Five Oscars, including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Actor.”

    Sounds like it was a real dud.

    Oh, and Merry Fucking Christmas to you too!

  38. 38.

    The Other Steve

    December 26, 2007 at 1:38 am

    Bad Santa is still the #1 Christmas classic.

    I need a melon ball and a loofah

  39. 39.

    The Other Steve

    December 26, 2007 at 1:39 am

    Liberal lunkheads will have us giving our boys pink monkies and replace our popular christmas trees with HOLIDAY TREES i mean LIBERALS CAN BE SUCH A BUNCH OF WUSSIES

    Why the fuck would anybody want a pink monkey?

  40. 40.

    Fe E

    December 26, 2007 at 11:00 am

    Why the fuck would anybody want a pink monkey?

    Or, more accurately; who WOULDN’T want a pink monkey?

  41. 41.

    Dreggas

    December 26, 2007 at 1:36 pm

    Fe E Says:

    Why the fuck would anybody want a pink monkey?

    Or, more accurately; who WOULDN’T want a pink monkey?

    Uh..huh.huh…I’ve got a “pink monkey”

  42. 42.

    horatius

    December 26, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    Uh..huh.huh…I’ve got a “pink monkey”

    And like the Moustache of Understanding would say,

    SUCK. ON. THIS.

  43. 43.

    Dreggas

    December 26, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    horatius Says:

    Uh..huh.huh…I’ve got a “pink monkey”

    And like the Moustache of Understanding would say,

    SUCK. ON. THIS.

    Pet the monkey…the monkey likes you

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