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You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Previous Site Maintenance / Monday Morning Open Thread

Monday Morning Open Thread

by John Cole|  January 7, 200810:31 am| 38 Comments

This post is in: Previous Site Maintenance

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Have at it.

And this is for all you who thought it took nerve for a WV guy to taunt folks from Iowa as nothing but corn farmers up to their ears in pig shit:

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Previous Post: « Thin-Skinned, Much?
Next Post: Shrum Chimes In »

Reader Interactions

38Comments

  1. 1.

    myiq2xu

    January 7, 2008 at 10:34 am

    Jon and Stephen return today! Unfortunately as forced scabs.

  2. 2.

    Zifnab

    January 7, 2008 at 10:44 am

    BURN!
    Thank you, John. I now have a hankering for bio diesel.

  3. 3.

    Jay

    January 7, 2008 at 10:46 am

    Being from a state that has historically had a much better use for distilled corn products, I send Iowans a hearty “Wiggly Antler Sign” with the out-stuck tongue device for flatulence above and beyond the call of doodie.

  4. 4.

    PaulW

    January 7, 2008 at 10:54 am

    I may be dating myself, but I can still remember the opening bit from Louis Gossett Jr’s guest appearance on SNL back in the 80s: Only two things come from Iowa! Corn and… corn…

  5. 5.

    Punchy

    January 7, 2008 at 11:10 am

    And this is for all you who thought it took nerve for a WV guy to taunt folks from Iowa as nothing but corn farmers up to their ears in pig shit:

    I’m not sure who you’re refering to…

    But….since you posted this bullshit….state rankings, beeyotch:
    Intelligence
    Iowa–9
    WV–37
    Health
    Iowa–11
    WV–43
    Average Household Income/StdOLiv (wiki)
    Iowa–48K
    WV–38K

    So who’s the poor, unedumucated, bassackward country fucks?

  6. 6.

    Jake

    January 7, 2008 at 11:14 am

    Place your bets.

    How long until the chi-cons spit out their breakfast bowl of cheetos and scream ZOMG IRAN ATTACKED US?!!

  7. 7.

    numbskull

    January 7, 2008 at 11:21 am

    Please give now! Redstate is broke and doesn’t work and it’s all the fault of LIBRULZ!!!!

    Give now, because what a waste it is to lose one’s mind or not to have a mind is being very wasteful.

    http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/1/7/104733/5912/83/432136

    How true that is.

  8. 8.

    TheFountainHead

    January 7, 2008 at 11:21 am

    Freakin’ Iranians! How long before Hillary says, “See, I was right to call an arm of Iran’s military a Terrorist Organization and give Bush the authority to kill them!!”

  9. 9.

    myiq2xu

    January 7, 2008 at 11:22 am

    On FAUX News, Dickhead Morris opines:

    Morris: “I think what she’s going to do is take a page from Bill’s playbook in 1992 when he was facing Jesse Jackson going into the New York primary. From out of nowhere, he seized on an episode with Sistah Souljah, who is a black rapper who apparently had dissed the National Anthem. And he attacked her, and the whole point was to use race as an issue against Jesse Jackson

    NOT!

    From Wikipedia, Bill’s criticism of Sister Souljah was based on her statement:

    “If Black people kill Black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people?”

    I recall that the “Sister Souljah” incident was seen at the time as an effort by Clinton to show that he wasn’t beholden to the black community and other liberal special interests.

    IOW: Part of a “triangulation” strategy – a move to the middle.

  10. 10.

    myiq2xu

    January 7, 2008 at 11:23 am

    So who’s the poor, unedumucated, bassackward country fucks?

    Arkansas residents?

  11. 11.

    akaoni

    January 7, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    as an Iowan, I’m going to have to admit that the I-80 song is pretty spot on though…

  12. 12.

    Stooleo

    January 7, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    I lived in Iowa for 10 years and that song pretty much sums it up. Luckily I got married and my wife forced me to move ;)

  13. 13.

    Xanthippas

    January 7, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    2008 Bloggies!

    I nominated you guys, of course.

  14. 14.

    canuckistani

    January 7, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    Please give now! Redstate is broke and doesn’t work and it’s all the fault of LIBRULZ!

    I’d love to help but I gave all my money to Confederate Yankee to buy a new barbecue.

  15. 15.

    Haltelcere

    January 7, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    So who’s the poor, unedumucated, bassackward country fucks?

    Arkansas residents?

    Arkansas’ unofficial state motto is “Thank God for Mississippi”.

  16. 16.

    Fruitbat

    January 7, 2008 at 12:44 pm

    From one of the most consistently funny webcomics out there comes this little swipe at the RonPaulogists. It’s a hoot.

  17. 17.

    Fruitbat

    January 7, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    Well, crap, the link didn’t show. Thanks, cut’n’paste…

    http://xkcd.com/367/

  18. 18.

    Zifnab

    January 7, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    Please give now! Redstate is broke and doesn’t work and it’s all the fault of LIBRULZ!

    Give now, because what a waste it is to lose one’s mind or not to have a mind is being very wasteful.

    Hahahahaha! Yeah, I read this just a while ago and was gonna post it here too. I hope we can get some much appreciated snark from John/Mike/Tim on this. Perhaps some well-wishing and conservative wisdom on free market capitalism that could, perhaps, save the site from financial ruin. Maybe some Supply Side Economics? Trickle Down Theory? Deregulation? Surely there is some well-worn, seriously thought out conservative intelligencia that could be employed to right the Good Ship RedState.

    I bet they wouldn’t have this problem if only someone would cut taxes.

  19. 19.

    chopper

    January 7, 2008 at 1:40 pm

    Arkansas’ unofficial state motto is “Thank God for Mississippi”.

    i thought it was ‘squeal like a pig’. or is that alabama?

  20. 20.

    Dreggas

    January 7, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    chopper Says:

    Arkansas’ unofficial state motto is “Thank God for Mississippi”.

    i thought it was ‘squeal like a pig’. or is that alabama?

    I believe that was georgia…see Jeff Foxworthy commenting on the olympics being held there.

  21. 21.

    grumpy realist

    January 7, 2008 at 2:05 pm

    John–it looks like Huckabee’s rise has been accompanied with more interest in the FairTax. Supposedly the Washington Post has an article on it.

    The regular tax planners and economists are running around pulling out their hair in frustration….can we finally please put a stake through this idiocy?

  22. 22.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    January 7, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    My favorite West Virginian: Jack Whittaker. And, his life has gone downhill since this episode.

  23. 23.

    D-Chance.

    January 7, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    Expect my neck of the woods to make national cable news shortly. Murder story. The angle? Cannibalism. Fox and Nancy Grace should have a blast… the demographics of the crime are perfect for them.

  24. 24.

    Bobzim

    January 7, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Whittaker reminds me of the monkey that gets caught because it won’t let go of the coconut in the knot hole of a tree.

    The strip joint caper was three kinds of stupid (1 for Whittaker and 1 each for the thieves): they had the $500,000 but the idiots couldn’t figure out how to get it off the property.

    A brother of a friend of mine sells cars and for awhile there were strippers coming in with certificates Whittaker had made up to give away Escalades. Like a teacher in summertime – No Class!!

  25. 25.

    Ted

    January 7, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    And this is for all you who thought it took nerve for a WV guy…

    !! You’re a WV guy?! Do you have the WV accent? If so, you gotta start doing podcasts or something. Too precious.

  26. 26.

    John Cole

    January 7, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    A few things:

    A.) I grew up in Bethany, home of Bethany College, then spent time in the military, then went to college myself, then have spent the rest of my life at WVU. The West Virginia I know is full of educated people.

    B.) I have no WV accent. I grew up in the northern panhandle to university English teachers from Ohio and MD. I do, however, sometimes slip and say “melk,” which is an Ohio thing. Fortunately, I do not say wooder like my mother, who hails from the Eastern Shore.

    C.) People who move to West Virginia do not move away. People from West Virginia move away after college, then spend the rest of their lives trying to get back. Yes. It is that good here. The rest of you can piss off.

    D.) Shit on WV all you want, because I like it when you do. It means you assholes won’t be moving here en masse, crapping up the joint like you have DC, Philly, and the NY metro region.

    E.) I am wearing shoes and I have all my teeth. Fuck off.

  27. 27.

    canuckistani

    January 7, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    E.) I am wearing shoes and I have all my teeth. Fuck off.

    It’s your day of the week for wearing the shoes, is it? I’m glad about your teeth. Are they in a jar on your table?

    C’mon, I got the “fuck off” up front. At least let me earn it.

  28. 28.

    Bobzim

    January 7, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    We know that the toothbrush was invented in WV ’cause if it had been somewhere else it would be called “teethbrush”. Old joke.

    People who move to West Virginia do not move away. People from West Virginia move away after college, then spend the rest of their lives trying to get back. Yes. It is that good here.

    You’re supposed to keep that shit quiet, Cole!

  29. 29.

    Ted

    January 7, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    D.) Shit on WV all you want, because I like it when you do. It means you assholes won’t be moving here en masse, crapping up the joint like you have DC, Philly, and the NY metro region.

    E.) I am wearing shoes and I have all my teeth. Fuck off.

    Jesus. No reason to be an asshole about it. I have an aunt who’s lived her whole life in WV, is an RN (so plenty educated), and has a very thick WV accent that I love hearing, because it’s very stately and elegant.

    So fuck off yourself.

  30. 30.

    Punchy

    January 7, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    E.) I am wearing shoes and I have all my teeth. Fuck off.

    EXACTLY. Maybe now you’ll understand what fucking ignorant stereotypes people spout when they say stereotypical things about places they hardly know. Like Iowa being all corn and hicks and cowshit. They didn’t get in the top rankings by just distilling your fucking petro additives.

    Next time please trash Mississippi or Indiana instead. They’ve actually worked hard to justify such scorn.

  31. 31.

    John Cole

    January 7, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    EXACTLY. Maybe now you’ll understand what fucking ignorant stereotypes people spout when they say stereotypical things about places they hardly know. Like Iowa being all corn and hicks and cowshit. They didn’t get in the top rankings by just distilling your fucking petro additives.

    A.) I lived in Iowa. The stereotypes are fair.

    B.) I said pigshit.

  32. 32.

    myiq2xu

    January 7, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    The West Virginia I know is full of educated people.

    8th grade?

  33. 33.

    Punchy

    January 7, 2008 at 4:43 pm

    C.) People who move to West Virginia do not move away. People from West Virginia move away after college, then spend the rest of their lives trying to get back. Yes. It is that good here. The rest of you can piss off.

    Except, no, you’re fucking wrong again. Albiet its for a limited time, so let’s try this instead. Yes, a #49 rank in projected change in population in the next 22 years. A 88K net LOSS of citizens.

    But you’re right! WV rocks cuz no one wants to live there.

  34. 34.

    myiq2xu

    January 7, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    But you’re right! WV rocks cuz no one wants to live there.

    Probably because WV has the highest unsolved murder rate in the nation.

    The reason?

    a) No dental records

    b) Everybody has the same DNA

  35. 35.

    Face

    January 7, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    The reason?

    a) No dental records

    b) Everybody has the same DNA

    Asshole. Whats the quickest way to remove chi tea spray from my laptop?

  36. 36.

    Dreggas

    January 7, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    My hands groan with anticipation

  37. 37.

    Dreggas

    January 7, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    So lemme get this straight, the arguement as I see it is over who is LESS of a hick, while conceding for the most part that y’all are hicks?

  38. 38.

    Matt

    January 8, 2008 at 3:03 am

    Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger Iowa City!

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