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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / My Problem With Mitt

My Problem With Mitt

by John Cole|  January 13, 200810:38 am| 31 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

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I think I have RDS. He is currently ten words in to his appearance on Face the Nation, and his voice just grates me. He is so completely phony, so calculated and poll-tested and focus-grouped and rehearsed and plastic and totally full of shit. There is no emotion in his words, it is like an automaton spitting out the right ‘crafted’ response. Sometimes he uses the wrong words- “loss” instead of “lose,” and it sounds like a robot that was programmed incorrectly, or someone using English as a second language. Not someone just making a verbal gaffe.

He thinks there is nothing that he can not charm or smooth his way through. He just told us that he is the only candidate who “has the auto industry in his blood veins.” In short, he reminds me of this guy:

Those of you who remember Diehard know exactly what I am talking about.

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31Comments

  1. 1.

    myiq2xu

    January 13, 2008 at 10:53 am

    I looked up “smarmy” in the dictionary and they had Mitt’s picture

  2. 2.

    TR

    January 13, 2008 at 10:55 am

    Willard, Ellis … different douchebag name, same douchebag attitude.

  3. 3.

    MJ

    January 13, 2008 at 10:58 am

    “Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash.”

  4. 4.

    myiq2xu

    January 13, 2008 at 10:59 am

    Willard, Ellis … different douchebag name, same douchebag attitude.

    Same outcome?

  5. 5.

    Tom

    January 13, 2008 at 11:03 am

    Hart Bochner! Also a great douche bag in Breaking Away.

  6. 6.

    Scotty

    January 13, 2008 at 11:12 am

    On Late Edition Mitt just said he thinks water boarding should not be defined as torture because of the ‘ticking-time-bomb’ scenario. Yeah, because we have one of those about once a week.

  7. 7.

    Zifnab

    January 13, 2008 at 11:12 am

    But Hugh Hewitt said that only Mitt Romney can save us from Commie-lammo-fasci-liberalism. Ergo, you’re either voting for him or you’re voting for Hussien Osama bin Terrorists.

  8. 8.

    Zifnab

    January 13, 2008 at 11:13 am

    On Late Edition Mitt just said he thinks water boarding should not be defined as torture because of the ‘ticking-time-bomb’ scenario. Yeah, because we have one of those about once a week.

    I fucking love the logic here. “Americans can waterboard their prisoners without it being considered torture. Iranians cannot. Why? Because American bombs don’t tick. Q to the motherfucking ED.

  9. 9.

    Silver Owl

    January 13, 2008 at 11:33 am

    LOL! Romney’s catering to Michigan with the “Auto Industry in his blood.”

    The main problem with our economy here was that our economy was not diversified enough because of our sole reliance on the auto industry. We all know how that is working out.

    The auto industry can recover itself if it would choose to actually give the consumers what they want, fuel efficient cars and trucks. So far they show absolutely no desire to do such a thing since they fought so hard to ensure that mileage requirements will remain light years behind other countries.

    Keeping Michigan tied to the auto industry is promising to keep us in an economic death spiral.

  10. 10.

    Tsulagi

    January 13, 2008 at 11:44 am

    On Late Edition Mitt just said he thinks water boarding should not be defined as torture because of the ‘ticking-time-bomb’ scenario. Yeah, because we have one of those about once a week.

    Well, don’t be too concerned. These idiots probably forgot to pay the water bill.

  11. 11.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    January 13, 2008 at 11:46 am

    Wolcott has this great line about the Hewitt/Romney consociation (my emphasis added):

    Hewitt has his head so far up Mitt Romney’s ass he can see the world through Mitt’s clicking eyes, achieving complete parasitic identification with his host.

    Funny, and straight to your point regarding Mitt’s robotic nature.

  12. 12.

    ThymeZone

    January 13, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    Romney is no more or less sincere or forthright than any of these douchebags, he just does the act with less acting skill than most of them do. He hasn’t been a politician all his life, he is still learning.

    For pure mendacity, you can’t beat John McCain. For pure disingenuousness, you can’t beat Mike Huckabee. For pure venality, you cannot top Rudy Giuliani.

    Romney sucks, but he’s in a field where the people around him can actually make him look good.

    As for the auto industry, I saw him on FTN this morning, saying that it’s Washington’s fault that the auto industry in Michigan is losing jobs. Who knew? Apparently it was Demoncrats that fooled the Big Three into making inferior cars for the last 40 years while the Japanese and Europeans kicked our sorry asses?

  13. 13.

    leefr

    January 13, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    I was really hoping Bob Schieffer would follow up Mitt’s…”I’ve got the auto industry in my blood” comment by asking Mitt what happened to the American Motors Corporation?

  14. 14.

    Libby Spencer

    January 13, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    I think I have advanced RDS myself. I loathe him so much that I moved out of Massachusetts shortly after he was elected governor. The only reason he’s running for preznit is that he could never get re-elected in Mass and he wanted to avoid the embarrassment.

  15. 15.

    gypsy howell

    January 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    So Mitt “has the auto industry in his blood veins?”

    Uhh Mitt, I hate to tell ya, but the little brown people are gaining on us. In fact, they’re laughing and flipping us the finger as they pass us in the left lane. Gee, Mr-My-Veins-Drip-Pennzoil, have you asked yourself why one Indian auto company can not only produce a $2500 car for the masses, but can also produce a car that runs on compressed air and costs $2.00 to go 200 miles, while our bloated auto industry behemoths are still betting on people being stupid enough to mortgage their houses to buy 8 mpg petro-hog Hummers?

    You know what, Mitt? You’re right. You ARE the poster child for our auto industry, come to think of it.

  16. 16.

    Ted

    January 13, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    In short, he reminds me of this guy:

    I’m not sure Romney has even that amount of substance. It’s one thing to have your own motives, but hide them and present a different persona. It’s quite another to (apparently) have no motives at all, except becoming president. Romney doesn’t even seem like he’s covering up his true beliefs. He seems like he just doesn’t have any.

  17. 17.

    Jake

    January 13, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    He just told us that he is the only candidate who “has the auto industry in his blood veins.”

    Yeah, I see what you mean about his sound card. But given how his last two dances with hyperbole (hunting and dad marching with MLK) ended I fully expect to see clips of Mitt pissing on an American auto worker and then driving off in a foreign car in 5 … 4 … 3 …

  18. 18.

    rawshark

    January 13, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    Romney is a typical republican candidate. Only winning matters. Say anything and win. The ‘Squealers’ on Fox and talk radio will make sure what you said is the same as what the people wanted to hear. I guarantee all the ‘this is our cooouuuunnnnttttry’ GM lovers will be Mitt supporters by next weekend. Rush and Savage will ensure that.

  19. 19.

    rawshark

    January 13, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    Damn I forgot my ‘sprechen sie talk’ quote from Diehard. BTW Diehard on Bluray, sweetness! The uncompressed DTS soundtrack rattles the neighborhood. Great picture too, hasn’t looked this good since I saw it on the bigscreen back in the 80s.

  20. 20.

    Bob In Pacifica

    January 13, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    How much of Mitt’s blood is Japanese? He doesn’t look Japanese but the auto industry does.

  21. 21.

    D-Chance.

    January 13, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Eh, Romney is the Republican John Edwards. Put a little gray in Purty Boy’s hair, and they’re practically twins.

  22. 22.

    Jason in MO

    January 13, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    You are right, his voice grates on my like Hillary’s does on a number of people. With that said though I think he would make a more competent President than any of the other Republicans running, with the possible exception of McCain.

    Any of the Democratic frontrunner’s would be substantially better though.

  23. 23.

    Llelldorin

    January 13, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Scotty Says:

    On Late Edition Mitt just said he thinks water boarding should not be defined as torture because of the ‘ticking-time-bomb’ scenario. Yeah, because we have one of those about once a week.

    Not until the strike ends.

  24. 24.

    El Cruzado

    January 13, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    I’m sure no one will have a problem with Iranians torturing US prisoners if US bombs are ticking.

  25. 25.

    Jon H

    January 13, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    The Auto Industry?

    The one that has spent 40 years whining to Congress and America that it can’t engineer itself out of a wet paper bag?

    GM: “Seat belts? Inconceivable! We’d go broke!”
    Ford: “Air bags? Inconceivable!”
    GM+Ford+Chrysler: “Better mileage? Inconceivable!”

  26. 26.

    ThymeZone

    January 13, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    Romney is a typical republican candidate. Only winning matters. Say anything and win.

    David Frost: Why did you call your opponent (in a congressional campaign) a Communist?

    Richard Nixon: Well, you have to win.

  27. 27.

    Anne Laurie

    January 14, 2008 at 12:12 am

    Actually, Libby, Willard chose to move *back* to Massachusetts after the Olympics because, in his own words, “You can’t get elected President running as the former governor of Utah.” It’s true that he couldn’t get re-elected here, and it turns out New Hampshire didn’t think much of him either, because Romney’s just one of those people who seems to become less and less likeable the longer you know him.

    My own feeling is that Romney is the Republican equivalent of Obama — a well-polished, underexperienced, self-selected Bright Smiling Candidate-Bot who’s running on “charisma” because he’s got no support from any established voting bloc on his side of the aisle. The fact that Obama seems to possess the actual personality trait usually defined by the C-word, and can inspire people to work / vote for him by offering nothing more than a list of upbeat words (change! hope! audacity!), while Romney possesses only the attraction of his own money, speaks more to the difference between the Post-Boomer Democratic Party and the Business-Class Republican Party than it does to the functional difference between Obama and Romney themselves. On the other hand, Obama’s voice has the same extremely negative effect on me that Romney’s does, so it might be that I’m just prejudiced.

  28. 28.

    Alex K

    January 14, 2008 at 6:19 am

    I think the best evidence of Mitt being a robot came in the ABC/Facebook debate, where he said:

    “ROMNEY: If somebody is making, let’s say $100,000 a year, and doesn’t have health insurance, and they show up at the hospital, and they need a $1,000 repair of some kind for something that’s gone wrong. And they say, “Look, I’m not insured, I’m not going to pay.” Do you think they should pay or not?” http://abcnews.go.com/Story?id=4091645&page=2

    Humans receive operations and treatments. Robots get repaired.

  29. 29.

    stinky mcgee

    January 14, 2008 at 10:34 am

    Hans! Bubbie! I’m your white knight.

  30. 30.

    Gus

    January 14, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    Alex K, that quote is hilarious. Count me in the RDS crowd. The guy just kind of creeps me out. 60 years old, and not a single line in his forehead or anywhere on his face. I know Mormons can’t consume alcohol or caffeine, but apparently botox is fine.

  31. 31.

    GuyFromOhio

    January 14, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Hans! Bubbie! I’m your white knight.

    The white knight didn’t get to finish his Coke before he took one to the forehead. In hindsight, the continuity was kind of poor in that last shot – his hair really took a beating before death took the character.

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