Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Infrastructure week. at last.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

I was promised a recession.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

People are complicated. Love is not.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

You are here: Home / Sports / The Canadian in Me

The Canadian in Me

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I am watching the hockey game tonight. Montreal Canadiens vs. the New York Islanders. So far, Canadiens are up 3-2. I hate the Habs. I remember rooting for the Soviets with my dad when they played Montreal many, many years ago.

On the upside, Toronto is beating Carolina 5-3 with 7:11 lft in the 3rd. Nashville is beating Calgary. Bah.

Atlanta 4. Detroit 1. 3rd period. I AM an Atlanta fan.

Reader Interactions

33Comments

  1. 1.

    J. Michael Neal

    Ah, good old dysfunctional Leafs Nation. That’s quite a hatchet job your team is pulling on John Ferguson. Toronto gets to watch 1967 recede further into the rear view mirror.

  4. 4.

    Dreggas

    Just thought I might point out that Montreal beating the Islanders is in no way indicative of how good they are, it just means they suck less.

  5. 5.

    The Commander Guy

    What the hell is a “Hab” This something I should know but don’t.

    Yes, I know I am stupid.

  9. 9.

    myiq2xu

    Wow, I guess we were waaaayy overdue for a lame Mike D post. Can we at least confine the sports posts to American sports like football, baseball and hoops?

  10. 10.

    Tax Analyst

    Well, as someone who never really gave much of a damn about Ice Hockey let me just remind our Canadian thread poster that the defending Stanley Cup Champions are none other than the ANAHEIM DUCKS out here in sunny, ice-free Southern California. They started a little slow this season, but they seem to be rounding into form. Who knows, some day I might even watch a game on television, if there are any…and if I pull my television out of the closet I have it stuffed in.

  11. 11.

    canuckistani

    There is nothing more odious than a hockey team from a town that never sees ice. But we all know that the playoffs are rigged to pander to American TV audiences. *That’s* why the Leafs never get to win. Nothing to do with incompetent management happy to send out a third rate team knowing Toronto fans would pay to see monkeys play in blue jerseys.

  12. 12.

    myiq2xu

    My favorite hockey team?

    The Charleston Chiefs! With Reg Dunlap as their coach, and all three Hansen brothers.

  13. 13.

    Dennis - SGMM

    I want some posts on curling too. Liveblogging the 2008 Tim Horton’s Brier on March 7th would make a good start.

  14. 14.

    incontrolados

    Bring back the Howes! I played a musical instrument in the stadium seats for Artie when I was in high school.

    Now that stadium is a church, perhaps the biggest in the WORLD.

    ‘Believe in God and you will be rich’

    I think that’s the message.

    Hockey is a nice game.

  16. 16.

    TrishB

    You’re all heathens. And no I won’t respond because in classic troll style, I’ll just say it’s time for bed now. But dammit, some of us in the northeast grew up with hockey and still give a shit – at least at a certain level. Go Ephs, Engineers, and Dutchmen! Um, yes, now that you mention it, they’re college level games. Even worse, NESCAC and ECAC. Where else are ya gonna play hockey?

  17. 17.

    Tax Analyst

    Personally, I think it’s GREAT to have the reigning Professional Hockey Champions play in an area where almost nobody gives a flying fuck about the sport. I think it makes it so much easier for the player’s to focus on the game – none of that distractive cheering & hoopla going on while they’re trying to knock the living shit out of each other and blast that frozen rubber puck either past the opposing goalie or perhaps right through flesh, bones and blood.

    If they want to appeal to the mass of American Sports Fans (couch potatoes who don’t care for subtlety or complicated rules), then they should elimiate “Icing” calls and those silly blue lines and just let player’s hang back in the offensive zone and cherry-pick. Oh…and make the goals a LOT BIGGER – like about 1/2 the size of those soccer goals and maybe take the goalie’s sticks and pads and masks and stuff away (that will also appeal to the “Extreme Sports” fan types – lotsa blood and gushing gore). Then put some automatic rifle-type technology into the hockey sticks…maybe only for the Centers & Forwards – give the Defensemen lead-weighted baseball bats and eliminate High-Sticking Calls against them. Hmmm…the goalie seems rather naked and defenseless back there in the big-ole goal crease with just his unpadded, unmasked hockey uniform and no silly hockey stick…let’s give him a Taser Gun attachment that fits over one hand – you fire it by pointing and clicking a button, and maybe ultra-intensified pepper spray or mace fired from his other hand attachment. Make his skate blades into detachable and launchable projectiles – not sure how to trigger them to release, maybe just with a swinging or kicking motion of the foot or leg. Oh…allow the coach of each team to strategically place an IED device in his team’s defensive zone just prior to each period…he can do it by remote control device. Maybe he gets to move it whenever to a different location whenever the other team gets a Power Play. Oh, and maybe some extra ones for Overtime periods.

    Well, that’s probably sick enough to be really popular.

    Yeah, Income Tax Season really puts me in a demented frame of mind.

  20. 20.

    Kaily

    hey there…i firstly, like how this guy watched THE game tonight…and it was obvioulsy the Habs! besides ottawa, the Habsa are the only team worth anything in Canada! we have a legacy, we have cups, we have a hockey nation that we are proud of and you leafs fans will never understand that! fuck the leafs. and their black and white win. and their captain. and their coach. and their fans. you dont know what real hockey is. when you stop buying into a really well marketed franchise and find a team that actually knows some puck and you can have pride for your team…then you can talk shit.

  21. 21.

    Kaily

    and i love how u confirm your constant failure with the fact that the NHL conspires against Canadian teams because they need the ratings…ha ha…but in actuality every team hates the Habs…because they are a historically French Canadian team…because we got history…and there’s only 6 of us baby…but we got…watch a habs game. watch us win. and then cry in your dirty toronto faces. you are a disgrace to hockey and everyone besides your own fans and franchise knows it.

  22. 22.

    Kaily

    and “les habitants” is a term for the habitants of Quebec when they were under the control of the british monarch (im sure u all learnt that in your US history boys), and it is a lower class citizen of the French Canadian class, most pecifically in Montreal. Those “habitant” were the foundation of the Montreal Maroons and then The Montreal Canadiens in 1909, and if you’ve ever red “The Hockey Sweater” you would at least have a coloured, picture book about the past of Quebec, and of every born and raised Habs fan that you will encounter along the way! check it out…its worth it!

  25. 25.

    Barry

    Michal ‘D’: “I remember rooting for the Soviets with my dad when they played Montreal many, many years ago.”

    *That* explains it – a soviet spy!

  27. 27.

    Punchy

    So far, Canadiens are up 3-2

    Uh….Mike? The game ended 3-1 Habs. How the fuck did the Islanders get a negative goal?

    If you’re goin to post a hockey post (good idea), at least get the facts straight.

    Yes, Atlanta beating the Wings in 8-Mile was nice.

  30. 30.

    Ed Drone

    I saw a bumper sticker the other day, here in the DC ‘burbs. It read,

    “DRIVER CARRIES NO CASH — MY KID PLAYS ICE HOCKEY”

    Ed

  31. 31.

    Eric Almighty

    Canadians are weird. The sports page in Toronto is 90% hockey, 5% curling (the national sport), and 5% Raptors and Blue Jays. I like Canada and her weird Candians, but I don’t get their sports.
    Believe in Blueland!!

  33. 33.

    Ted

    Well, the Leafs do have one thing the Canadiens don’t – black and white TV footage of their last Stanley Cup win.

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