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You are here: Home / Captain Judgment Strikes Again

Captain Judgment Strikes Again

by Tim F|  January 17, 200811:52 pm| 21 Comments

This post is in: Assholes

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At this point it’s safe to say that Rudy Giuliani’s campaign won’t be sunk by any one scandal. There are just too many. His personal circle is comically bent – there’s a pedophile priest, a terrorist shiekh, a couple of cocaine traffickers, money launderers and Bernie Kerik. It’s like a post-millennial Legion of Doom. He rejected advice against putting his emergency coordination center in the most targeted site in New York, apparently to use it as a crash pad for illicit affairs that he was billing to the city. There’s the small matter of gear failures that killed firefighters on 9/11. He can’t open his mouth without lying.

With catastrophe, death, sex and corruption under Giuliani’s belt, today’s news almost seems like a yawner.

On the presidential campaign trail, former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani often promotes the installation of electronic monitoring devices at the border to stem illegal immigration, without mentioning that until a few months ago, he was partner in a company trying to market such technology.

An optimist Republican thinks that Rudy! best represents the party in ’08. A pessimist Republican fears that might be true.

***Update***

Almost forgot Poland Grodd.

Giuliani\'s advising team

Then we could talk about Giuliani’s foreign policy team. Or, Chalabi-style, we could send a twice indicted two-bit exile con artist to swindle their money. The site could use some new servers.

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Previous Post: « Ch-ch-ch-changes
Next Post: Checkmate »

Reader Interactions

21Comments

  1. 1.

    myiq2xu

    January 17, 2008 at 11:57 pm

    The funniest thing about Rudy is that the more people know about him, the less they like him.

    IOW – the more he campaigns, the lower his poll numbers go.

  2. 2.

    craigie

    January 18, 2008 at 12:40 am

    Where are these optimistic Republicans? I’d like to talk to them…

  3. 3.

    Caidence (fmr. Chris)

    January 18, 2008 at 12:41 am

    It’s like a post-millenial Legion of Doom

    i lawled

  4. 4.

    Caidence (fmr. Chris)

    January 18, 2008 at 12:47 am

    Where are these optimistic Republicans?

    I thought they were all calling in sick to their caucuses and instead dashing off to illicitly romp in the grass with ‘bama.

    But what do I know? If you’re joyous and proud of your Republican affiliation these days, you’re taking drugs I’m far too scared to experiment with.

  5. 5.

    Mike P

    January 18, 2008 at 12:48 am

    I also LOL’ed at the L.O.D. comment. Well done, Tim.

  6. 6.

    Geoduck

    January 18, 2008 at 12:58 am

    Until he’s officially out of the race, I’m not laughing.

  7. 7.

    Johnny Pez

    January 18, 2008 at 12:58 am

    IOW – the more he campaigns, the lower his poll numbers go.

    Back in ’04 it was established that the technical term for this was “Joementum”.

  8. 8.

    taodon

    January 18, 2008 at 1:30 am

    How is this man even relevant any longer? How does he actually get people to say his name in polls without gagging? I just do not understand.

  9. 9.

    Robert Johnston

    January 18, 2008 at 2:09 am

    Until he’s officially out of the race, I’m not laughing.

    Don’t be silly. The way Rudy’s sinking there are laughs aplenty to be had so long as he stays in the race. It would be the funniest thing in the history of the universe if Rudy ends up fifth or sixth in New York behind Paul and the major players, and there’s a non-trivial chance at this point that that will happen. This race could end up being embarrassing enough that even Rudy’s ego will end up shrunken to the point of invisibility. Rudy is, essentially, being put through the Total Perspective Vortex, and the results should be amusing to all.

  10. 10.

    Xenos

    January 18, 2008 at 2:29 am

    Rudy would not even be in the race at this point if it were not for the corruption of Fox News. The longer he stays in, the more his reputation is ruined, so it is a case of corruption being it’s own punishment.

  11. 11.

    ArchPundit

    January 18, 2008 at 2:53 am

    This post deserves an award for the parsimony of the humor.

  12. 12.

    AlanDownunder

    January 18, 2008 at 5:18 am

    An optimist Republican thinks that Rudy! might be the best guy to represent the party in ‘08. A pessimist Republican fears that might be true.

    Draft Cheney?

  13. 13.

    Jake

    January 18, 2008 at 7:23 am

    You forgot his consulting firm’s work for Perdue Pharm. The company that gave us Oxycontin which is like, totally not addictive at all, really. So doctors should hand them out like candies.

  14. 14.

    Randy Paul

    January 18, 2008 at 8:17 am

    Don’t forget Russell Harding.

  15. 15.

    Svensker

    January 18, 2008 at 8:31 am

    The funniest thing about Rudy is that the more people know about him, the less they like him.

    IOW – the more he campaigns, the lower his poll numbers go.

    In New York, that’s known as the “Rudy Effect” — his popularity is in inverse proportion to your distance from him.

  16. 16.

    PK

    January 18, 2008 at 8:58 am

    So Rudy’s grand plan for winning the nomination was to ignore all the other states and win Florida. What he did not count on was that by the time Florida rolls around he would be long forgotten. And this guy was in charge on 9/11! Now I know why the emergency command and control center was located in the WTC. Pure Genius! And the republicans get the hots for these men!

  17. 17.

    caleb

    January 18, 2008 at 9:08 am

    Is it just me or is RUDY! a genius for being the only republican to realize that Florida has 1191 delegates.

  18. 18.

    Zifnab

    January 18, 2008 at 9:54 am

    So Rudy’s grand plan for winning the nomination was to ignore all the other states and win Florida.

    No, Rudy!’s grand plan was to take Iowa and New Hamsphire in the top three, then capitalize on Florida as his momentum builder. Unfortunately, Mittens and McPain gobbled up the Rudy! market share, and the eighty bajillion scandals basically sealed his fate as “unelectable”.

  19. 19.

    cleek

    January 18, 2008 at 10:01 am

    the villain seated to Luthor’s right, in the seat of honor, is clearly a woman. this can only mean that Mary Magdelene was, in fact, the Scarecrow.

    was there a child?

    does the bloodline of Super-Villainy carry on even now ?

  20. 20.

    Robert Johnston

    January 18, 2008 at 11:37 am

    So Rudy’s grand plan for winning the nomination was to ignore all the other states and win Florida.

    No; Rudy’s grand plan to win the nomination was to repeat “9/11! 9/11!” over and over again ad nauseum, in the hopes that there would be another major terrorist attack on the U.S. before the primaries got into full swing, after which all the scared people would drink the Giuliani Kool-Aid. Unfortunately for Giuliani, there haven’t been any recent incidents of mass death of Americans caused by islamist terrorism.

  21. 21.

    Tsulagi

    January 18, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    With catastrophe, death, sex and corruption under Giuliani’s beltdress, today’s news almost seems like a yawner.

    Easy fix

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