Who will it be? McCain or Mittens?
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[…] In the comments over at Balloon Juice’s Florida Primary Open Thread I saw the word “pwned” again, for the umpteenth time, in this case, as in Jonah Goldberg got punked’…. […]
myiq2xu
What happened to Gomer pHuckabee?
cleek
Paul! Revulsion!
Jen
I thought Giuliani was always going to win Florida! That enough old Jews retired there from Manhattan to form a voting block! That didn’t pan out, somehow? Who saw that coming?
The Other Steve
Jonah Goldberg got punked
Dennis - SGMM
Just read polling data that has Old Guy and Mittens in a statistical dead heat followed distantly by Il Douche, Gomer and Crazy Person.
Those Florida voters are facing a real dilemma: any one of their candidates would make a bad president.
That said, I’m guessing that Mittens will pull of a narrow victory, McCain will demand a recount, Giuliani will drop out and start lobbying for Secretary of Fear (To be created by the Republican President), Huckabee will stay in but secretly lobby for the Secretary of Religion post and Paul’s supporters will raise four million dollars in twenty-four hours to keep their boy in the race.
The Grand Panjandrum
Please. We should be more high minded and serious about our political discourse. Jonah got … PWNED!
Punchy
McCant wins this by 3%. Book it.
incontrolados
But Hewitt found some pollster yesterday who is never ever wrong and he had Mittens by 8 points!
gypsy howell
Speaking of which, can anyone explain the cryptic Ron Paul bumpersticker that embeds LOVE written backwards in REVOLUTION?
What is the message there? The opposite of LOVE is Ron Paul-style libertarianism?
Zifnab
I’m putting my money on Clinton.
Jen
It just looked good on the blimp that way.
Still a girl!
– Jen
4tehlulz
McCain by 4 points is my call, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Giuliani might actually beat Ron Paul this time — the media will then spin it as Rudy! getting over an important hurdle.
Tony J
Uh, saying that the word ‘Evolution’, even when it’s part of another word, is the opposite of Love?
gypsy howell
It’s so obviously intentional (letters facing backwards, LOVE in red) that I figure it *must* be some kind of Paultard dog whistle message – I just can’t figure out what it is.
gypsy howell
then why are the letters E and L written backwards, and only the E-V-O-L are a different color?
C’mon, it MUST mean something!
TheFountainHead
Ewwww, you pay for that??
PaulW
I predict a stunning upset as 90 percent of Florida Republicans get disgusted by their choices and decide to back… ME! A humble hometown boy does some good! ;)
Scotty
Mittens by 1%.
Tony J
Uh, ah, because that’s how you spell “I’m in position, proceed with the invasion as planned” in some alien colour-based dialect that only Paul is aware of?
TheFountainHead
In all seriousness though, If I’m the MSM (I had that bad dream once) I’m going to get up there tonight and bluster as much as possible about the Democratic primary in Florida, if for no other reason than it makes for better selling news. It will be interesting to see how they spin that. Did Hillary win by a big enough margin? Did the Unity Pony break a leg? Did the Unity Pony actually WIN even though he lost? Will Hillary cold-cock Howard Dean in the face for not letting the voters of Florida be HEARD?? All this and more on our insipid coverage at 8!
Zifnab
All the girls got to drool after Bill. It’s my turn to wear a blue dress, damnit!
Tony J
Or it could be that E-V-O-L, written with the E and L reversed, shows you how to position your hands to say “Vote for me, I will heal your ears” in sign-language?
Who knows MAKATON?
Ninerdave
Letterman on Mittens:
He looks like an American President in a Canadian Movie.
TheFountainHead
New Hampshire must kinda feel like Charlie Brown on his back, huh?
“Oh, good grief!”
cleek
i thought it was common knowledge that Paul is a die-hard Sonic Youth fan.
he might look like an old fart doctor now, but back in the day he was all about 80’s noise-rock. i think there’s footage of him body surfing at a F’Lips/Butthole Surfers’ show.
Punchy
Who gets Paulie’s blimp when he screws the pooch Tuesday, back outtie the primary Wednesday, and declares Chap 13 Thursday? Can you Ebay a blimp? Is there a site that pimps all failed polly gear, like “DOLE ’96!” t-shirts or “Freddie Boom-Boom (going to) Washington ’08!” bumper stickers?
Jen
The blimp was a rental, covered in banners. Kind of like those magnetic signs you put on cars. I don’t think Chapter 13 is forthcoming, though, I think even after the blimp and the limo he’s in the black.
Jake
Libertarians
Overthrow
Various
Establishments
Either that or he likes fucking with lyDexics.
ThymeZone
We used to have a saying about two really lame people:
“Now, there’s a pair to draw to.” It was an expression of contempt for the pair, whoever they were.
Mittney versus McPain?
There’s a pair to draw to. Two complete phonies and insane persons. Together, you couldn’t make one good president out of them.
Coulnd’t care less who wins. I just want whoever wins to get a full ass whipping in November.
Sensitive Pony Tailed Girly Man
Rudy won big in South Carolina and I think the momentum will continue here. 4th place, behind Huck, it doesn’t get bigger than that. He started out in the hole, with those big numbers in the 30’s, but he’s been working OT making sure FL gets to know him. I think it’ll pay off.
cleek
i’m sticking with Paul.
after all, he’s the only one who can beat Clinton
PaulW
I’ll take it. I need something to advertise my book with.
Darkness
Well, the t-shirts, anyway, get sent to Central America as charity donations. Whilst visiting Guatemala a few years ago I learned, for example, that the Giants won Superbowl 35. Given the dirth of cars, I don’t think they bother sending the bumper stickers.
Psycheout
My predictions are here.
Can Satanists swing it to Romney? That’s the wildcard. I think McCain barely wins since he doesn’t worship false idols. If Romney wins, G-d has abandoned America.
The Other Steve
I think Mittens is going to win with a suprise upset, as Rudy voters abandon ship.
Buck
Yes he does.
Kevin K.
Mittens
St. Maverick
Huck’n’suck
9/11
The Annoying Thing That Makes Honking Noises
Taylor Marsh
LITBMueller
McCrazy will do the best among the most reliable Florida voting bloc – old people from Long Island – and will get a solid win. It was this group that was supporting Rudy because of their New York allegiances, but they’ve switched to their fellow senior citizen in a show of solidarity due to his win in New Hampshire.
In Florida, it all comes down to the old folks…
The Moar You Know
Ohhhh! I know this! It’s whichever one is worse, right?
Hey, I’m beginning to get this Republican thing down!
Chuck Butcher
Which one is the easiest Democratic target? That one.
Splitting Image
McCain will be declared the winner and Romney will concede.
Then Romney will rescind his concession pending recounts in Miami-Dade and Palm Beach, which McCain will block.
The whole thing will be thrown to the Supreme Court and not be decided until after McCain’s momentum leads him to an impressive win on Super Tuesday, making the whole thing moot.
Everybody will get so caught up in determining who “won” that nobody will think too closely about who lost, the answer to that being “everybody”.
Psycheout
The early exit polling is showing that the economy is the most important issue. And those who think the economy is the most important are voting McCain (Mittheads were so Mittens was the economics guy since he won MI by being a pander bear).
It’s rather funny to watch the RomBots melt down.
LOL!
D-Chance.
McCain wins, Rudy drops out and endorses McCain…
Hewitt and Limbaugh both freak out tomorrow.
K-Lo cries in her Haagen-Dazs…