• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

The willow is too close to the house.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

Books are my comfort food!

Bark louder, little dog.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

This country desperately needs a functioning fourth estate.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

This blog will pay for itself.

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / A Personal Post and PSA. Hopefully You Can Learn From My Stupidity

A Personal Post and PSA. Hopefully You Can Learn From My Stupidity

by Michael D.|  February 23, 200812:01 pm| 127 Comments

This post is in: General Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail

This is a stupid little post that I have been contemplating writing for some time. I debated whether or not to write this because it was the most embarrassing event in my life. But I thought I would share this with you because it’s something that happened to me that I never ever expected would and I hope it will make you think. It will also explain why I’ve all but quit drinking. I hope you learn something from it. Anyway, the rest is below the fold.

I spent last weekend in jail. Here’s why:

I have a routine that I used to follow every weekend or two. I’d come home from a job I love, play with a dog I adore, watch a bit of TV, and at around 10, I’d head over to a neighborhood bar to enjoy a couple drinks with friends. There are two reasons I liked this place. First, it’s very friendly. You can have a decent conversation over a beer without having to scream. Second, it’s close to home. I can walk there, or if I drove there, I’d have several options: I could get a drive home with a friend, take a taxi for cheap, or walk. In fact, my best friend and I have one of those “No questions asked” pacts where we’ll pick each other up from a bar no matter what. I’ve always been a law-abiding member of the community. I have a wonderful job, a beautiful home, a Labrador Retriever I love more than anything else and great friends.

I put in all in jeopardy on January 14, 2007 because of one decision I did not have to make. I’ll be honest – I don’t know what happened that Saturday night. I went to my favorite bar like I normally would, talked to friends, sang a few karaoke songs, and had a couple beers. That was the plan anyway. By early Sunday morning, I was sitting in a cell at the Atlanta Detention Center.

My blood-alcohol level was 3 times the legal limit. I never, ever drink that much. I don’t carry cash, and my check card statement says I only spent $12. That’s two beers plus a tip over the course of several hours. For a year, I have been agonizing over this. Did someone spike my drink and buy me more? Why would the bartender keep serving someone so obviously drunk? Why didn’t someone pour me into a taxi? Did I just uncharacteristically get out of control? And how did the THREE bullet holes get in the back of my car? One is a stray. THREE is aiming at me. The entire experience would be a lot easier to take if I had those questions answered – I don’t. Needless to say, this experience has had a profound impact on my life. I don’t know what the impact from this is going to be for my job. I am on a visa, and I don’t have a clue what happens when it comes up for renewal. I make a good living and, without that income, I may lose my home. Even without the punishment I received from the judicial system, my punishment will be severe. But this is not a “woe is me” article. Not a chance. You see, there is one decision I made that night that I should never have made:

I drove to the bar. I was completely sober when I did. But it doesn’t matter.

Did someone spike my drink? I don’t know. Should the bartenders have stopped serving me? Clearly. But it’s too easy to place blame elsewhere. As has always been the case, I drove to the bar that night with every intention of doing the right thing: getting a lift home, walking, or calling a taxi or friend. Now look where I am.

When you drink, anything can happen to you. Like me, you think you know exactly what’s going to happen. And like me, you will be wrong some day. I learned a huge lesson a year ago. No matter how much you’ve had to drink, no matter what someone potentially does to you, you cannot get a DUI if you leave the car at home. And if you do, you’ll wake up at home instead of in jail like I did.

Cab fare is cheap, certainly cheaper than the nearly $5,000.00 poorer (and counting) I’m spending now. The only silver lining is that, thankfully, I didn’t hurt anyone. You may not be as lucky.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Who Would Al Qaeda Want To Win The White House?
Next Post: So Much For the Bully Pulpit »

Reader Interactions

127Comments

  1. 1.

    Greg

    February 23, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    It is/was NOT a “stupid little post”. Thank You.

  2. 2.

    jake

    February 23, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    Good afternoon class,

    Who here doesn’t know that drinking and driving don’t mix?

    [Crickets chirp]

    Well, let’s say you’re going out Friday night and you know you’ll probably need a lift home. Do you:

    A.

    I drove to the bar that night with every intention of doing the right thing: getting a lift home, walking, or calling a taxi or friend. Now look where I am.

    Or

    B. Do you just get a lift TO the bar so you don’t have the car at all?

    [Class thinks “DUH! It’s B you stupid dick, why the fuck are you asking us this dumb shit that everyone knows?”]

    OK. Who here doesn’t think Mike D., is dumb, condescending, irresponsible, shit head who wouldn’t understand personal responsibility if it ran up his trouser leg and bit him on the left nut?

    [Students riot, demand curriculum that doesn’t include 1 + 1 = 2 Obvious shit that everyone knows.]

    Speaking on behalf of people who’ve had to put up with people who drink until they black out: Take your half assed “confession” and your bullshit lecture and Fuck. Off.

  3. 3.

    srv

    February 23, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    Well, if you don’t remember it, something happened. If you aren’t missing any memories, never believe what the breathalyzer says. If a blood test was taken, can it be analyzed for other drugs?

    In Austin, APD doesn’t have to go by breathalyzer or field sobriety tests anymore. If you show any alcohol level, they can take you in (can’t afford the liability of letting you go, particularly at quota time). DA will screw you either way, it’s their job – a friend had to go through the entire legal process even though he blew a 0.03.

    If you did loose memories, and there’s no blood evidence, somebody at that bar knows something. Threatening to sue the owner might get some of the employees to cough something up at trial.

    Re your Visa, you need a really, really good lawyer. A specialist in DUIs.

  4. 4.

    ThymeZone

    February 23, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    Twenty five years ago, I had a similar experience without the jail part. But I did wake up in my car the next day with no idea how I got from where the bar was, to where I was. Very scary experience.

    Thankfully I, also, did not hurt anyone. Sometimes it takes an experience like this to realize how easy it is to make the drink+drive mistake and set the stage for a tragic ending.

    I applaud your telling of the story, and I add my voice to yours:

    When you drink, anything can happen to you. Like me, you think you know exactly what’s going to happen. And like me, you will be wrong some day. I learned a huge lesson a year ago. No matter how much you’ve had to drink, no matter what someone potentially does to you, you cannot get a DUI if you leave the car at home

    Bravo, and ditto.

  5. 5.

    paradox

    February 23, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    I’m sorry about this, it’s been an enormous burden to you.

    [shakes head] It’s amazing what we can get ourselves into, emphasis on the we.

  6. 6.

    John Cole

    February 23, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    Jake-

    You could not be a dick for five minutes and we still accept you as a commenter here.

  7. 7.

    John Cole

    February 23, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    As a side note, I firmly believe this is a punishment for participating in karaoke. You got off light, given you seem to be an active karoake singer. At least that is my opinion.

  8. 8.

    Michael D.

    February 23, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    Hey: I posted this because I KNEW I was stupid!!! If you want to call me stupid for doing what I did, go aheah. I alread know that. That’s why I posted it. Another reason I posted it is because I know that a LOT of people take their cars out when they go out. I don’t want you to learn the same lesson I did.

    Stupid? Obviously. Lesson learned? Definitely! Knowing I could have killed or hurt someone? Scared the fuck out of me.

  9. 9.

    wwz

    February 23, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    Jake, shut your pie hole, on behalf of all that have to put with arrogant, ignorant, *ssholes.

    Michael D., word to the wise. If alcohol has been a problem in your life, then its a problem in your life. There is no almost stopped, all but quit etc. Either you have, or you haven’t.

    I finally quit drinking altogether and the whole world rejoiced. Most especially those who cared about me. And now, more then them, me.

    Bricks finally stopped falling out of the sky onto my head. Self induced pain is particularly humiliating. The good thing is, its one of the very few things over which you have complete control. Good luck.

  10. 10.

    Michael D.

    February 23, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    wwz: Last drink I had was a tasting I did to post on this blog. Other than that, last drink I had was a half a glass of champagne (champale?) I had for NY Eve. I’m done with stupid shit.

  11. 11.

    Michael D.

    February 23, 2008 at 12:41 pm

    I just posted this so the rest of you will know how easily something like this can happen to you. I normally would drink about 3 beers when I went out. That was a rule I had. Obviously, the night I got busted screwed me for a long time. My own fault. If you want to bitch at me, go ahead. I have heard it all from friends. I just posted this in the hopes that someone might realize that all the best intentions won’t porotect you. You can still be an idiot when you plan on doing things right.

  12. 12.

    chopper

    February 23, 2008 at 12:43 pm

    jake, knock it the fuck off. jesus christ in a chicken basket.

    mike, see this sort of thing is one of the great advantages of living in the city. the wife and i got loaded last night and even at 2am were able to shlep all the way back to brooklyn on the subway.

  13. 13.

    Michael D.

    February 23, 2008 at 12:44 pm

    ThymeZone: Thanks. Big lesson learned. Hopefully I can renew my visa and keep my house. Stupidity at it’s ultimate.

  14. 14.

    Halteclere

    February 23, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    OK. Who here doesn’t think Mike D., is dumb, condescending, irresponsible, shit head who wouldn’t understand personal responsibility if it ran up his trouser leg and bit him on the left nut?

    Everyone, Mr. Perfect (Jake) is among us!

    Talk about being dumb and condescending. Driving while drunk is a terrible thing to do – is there anyone who does not completely, wholeheartedly agree? But has anyone NOT done something extremely stupid some time in their life that put other people’s lives in danger?

    But who among us, if not have driven one time after too much to drink, drove after too late at night or while being too sleepy? Who has not accidentally ran through a red light, not realizing what one has done until after seeing the cross-traffic in the red mirror? Damn I wish more people understood the “Ye without sin + stone” lesson of humility.

    Drinking too much and waking up with bullet holes in one’s car is completely dumbfounding. What could cause someone to open up fire on another person, especially if that other person is totally intoxicated? There is always that chance that something nefarious happened to Michael. If you don’t think such things happen in the United States, spend some time browsing Dave Neiwert’s blog

    That being said, for some reason Michael did drive drunk, and now he’ll have to face the music for the rest of his life. As it should be for anyone who drives drunk.

  15. 15.

    Michael D.

    February 23, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    BTW: Everything Jake has said, other people have said to me. I was always the “You drove home? You idiot!” guy. I’ve lost a LOT of friends because of this. That’s fine. Still, I hope none of you have to learn the lesson I did. That’s all.

  16. 16.

    The Moar You Know

    February 23, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    Taking any Ambien? Xanax?

    Had the first blackout of my long life recently – no alcohol involved. I’ve drank enough in the past to where I WISH I didn’t remember what went on, but never lost it.

    But I did, very recently, and like I said, no booze involved. It was goddamned Ambien, and there is no scarier feeling than wondering where an entire night went. Thankfully, I was surrounded by friends who let me know what I did the next day (nothing, apparently – I was “quieter than normal” but that’s all). I remember so little that I got into an argument with my best friend over it, insisting that I’d gone home and gone to sleep.

    I wish you luck in your upcoming legal travails.

  17. 17.

    Michael D.

    February 23, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    Moar: I take a medication that MAY have affected my judgment. Doesn’t matter. Not taking my car would have prevented anything that happened.

  18. 18.

    ThymeZone

    February 23, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    You can still be an idiot when you plan on doing things right.

    Too true. I myself have never been what one would call a drinker. People who drink with me consider me a “lightweight” in that regard. My body seems to do all the wrong things with alcohol.

    I was shocked back then to find out how quickly it could all go horribly wrong. After a few drinks that night, I really dont remember much of anything. I would never have decided to get in a car drunk as a slob and drive. But I did, apparently, and I don’t remember much about it except the outcome next day. I don’t remember the events leading up to getting in the car.

    People who are not drinkers, who don’t consider themselves a drunk driving threat, can become a projectile very easily and have no idea it is happening. And it’s important to tell these stories. I tell mine regularly, as a caution to others. Prevention is the cure. Leave the car at home, or if the events are unplanned, get rid of the car keys.

    As for people who think they are too cool, smart or responsible to bother with such a story? All due respect, to hell with them, they don’t know what they are talking about.

  19. 19.

    wasabi gasp

    February 23, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    THREE bullet holes!?

    I just read this for a second time trying to figure out what this has to do with last weekend. I don’t remember the three bullet holes bit on first read.

    Maybe I should ease off the bong.

  20. 20.

    Tom

    February 23, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    ” For a year, I have been agonizing over this. Did someone spike my drink and buy me more? Why would the bartender keep serving someone so obviously drunk? Why didn’t someone pour me into a taxi? Did I just uncharacteristically get out of control?”

    Um, considering this seems to be your “local” bar, did you ever consider asking the people at the bar or the bartender?

    And what’s the deal with the bullets???

    But thanks for sharing. I know this can’t be easy for you.

  21. 21.

    rmp

    February 23, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    The other day I had too many. Drove anyway. Nothing bad happened. But, I feel like an idiot who could have done serious harm to innocent people.

    BTW: Jake, your an ass.

  22. 22.

    Xenos

    February 23, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    Michael-

    Thanks for this. I have had a close call myself once, similar to what TZ describes. Having had too much to drink on a cold night, I sat down in the passenger side of my car while waiting for the taxi, and fell asleep. A friend hopped in asking for a ride, and like on autopilot, I slid over to the driver’s seat and drove off.

    I got pulled over, and somehow managed to recite the alphabet backwards flawlessly (no mystery really, as a ten year old I taught myself to do it on a dare), and they let me go without a breatholyzer test, which I am sure I would have failed spectacularly.

    I have made an effort to live within walking distance of a good bar since then.

    One question though – After the jump you state

    I spent last weekend in jail. Here’s why:

    but the story you tell all happened a year ago. Was that a mistatement, or is there an unfortunate second act to this?

  23. 23.

    rawshark

    February 23, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    Almost everyone I know drinks and drives. You don’t really have any option in this town other than not drinking which is certainly the intent of the holier than thou blue hairs.

    The drugs laws in this country have gone whacko. You can’t have any pot but if your stoned there’s not much the popo can do. You can have liquor but you aren’t allowed to be drunk. Its bizarre.
    And why is that the same people who are all over DUI laws, wanting them to be more strict that our laws against treason, are almost always the same people who will stomp their feet and scream about how the government shouldn’t be in the business of social engineering if a welfare/affirmative action discussion starts up? It reminds me of Orwell saying a party member can’t follow analogies.

  24. 24.

    wasabi gasp

    February 23, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    BTW, a couple of things:

    1. I still don’t get what this has to do with last weekend.
    2. I won’t be easing off the bong.

  25. 25.

    rawshark

    February 23, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    I sat down in the passenger side of my car while waiting for the taxi, and fell asleep.

    I was on a jury for a dui case. What I learned was you can be arrested for DUI in your situation because if you wanted to you could get in and drive away. Sweet huh? Pretty soon just going into a bar will be enough.

    I got pulled over, and somehow managed to recite the alphabet backwards flawlessly (no mystery really, as a ten year old I taught myself to do it on a dare), and they let me go without a breatholyzer test, which I am sure I would have failed spectacularly.

    Been there too. My brother told me he got asked the alphabet thing once so I learned it just for the hell of it. Came in handy. I wasn’t drinking at teh time I got stopped. Got stopped in a checkpoint. Felt like east germany. Lots of lights and cops. Citixens being asked what they had been doing completely absent any probable cause. Why don’t they allow them to search the car too. I may be smuggling illegal gay married mexican bales of pot. America! Home of apple pie and right wing radio telling people what to think.

  26. 26.

    Dork

    February 23, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    And how did the THREE bullet holes get in the back of my car?

    I’ve had some bad nites, but honestly, this sets some sort of record. I feel guiltly laughing a little at this, but, man…3 bullet holes is disconcerning, to say the least.

  27. 27.

    jake

    February 23, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    Jake-

    You could not be a dick for five minutes and we still accept you as a commenter here.

    Where would be the fun in that? I fully and unapologetically admit that I will lose my temper when another Capt. Oblivious does stupid shit and then tries to parcel out the blame (“Why didn’t the bartender stop me? Why didn’t my friends put me in a cab?? No one could have possibly foreseen that driving to a bar might lead to me driving home from the bar!”)

    Boo. Frickin. Hoo. You’re lucky EMS didn’t have to scrub someone out of your grill.

    And you know what? If he’d just said “Hey I went out, drank more than I intended and in a bout of impaired judgment, tried to get home.” Well, I’d still think he was an ass, but yeah shit happens, lesson learned. Instead he went out in his car and even says he planned to ditch his car and get home some other way. Does that sound right? Maybe.

    Unless you’ve hung around unreformed drunks. Then it sounds like after-the-fact excuse making. I really hope your sentence includes some mandatory AA meetings. If it doesn’t, they’re all really nice people, even if the coffee sucks.

  28. 28.

    lee

    February 23, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Got stopped in a checkpoint

    I have never been stopped in one of these. I really hope that I never do. I know I will react very poorly.

  29. 29.

    salvage

    February 23, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Wow man that’s all kinds of sucks.

    I don’t drink much because I can’t predict my tolerance, it’s weird sometimes I can pound ’em back all night and not feel a thing and other nights a beer and a G&T and I’m waking up with a traffic cone on my head.

    But you’re alive and like you said no one got hurt and you’re taking responsibility for your actions, all that makes me think when the dust clears you’ll be okay.

    And if the bills get too stupid just slap up a PayPal button, five bucks from each of your regulars will probably cover the nut.

  30. 30.

    Punchy

    February 23, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    Jake — seriously, what’s your fucking problem? You’re too good? Never done anything stupid before?

    Fucking christ. This thread describes more nights (minus the gunfire and jail) than I care to recall. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve never fucked up before. Congrats.

    Sorry to hear about your situation, Mike.

  31. 31.

    Innocent Bystander

    February 23, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    Painful reading this. My last DUI was in 87. I rolled my Jetta at about 80MPH. Thankfully, it was just me and somehow I had been smart enough to buckle up. While I still drink, I don’t ever put myself in a position where I can be on the road after I start having a few. Still, I know that alcohol has an unpredictable effect on me. I’m still capable of being an ass when I get too loaded…and there’s no real definition for me when that point occurs. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share what is obviously a very ugly low point in your life.

  32. 32.

    Tom in Texas

    February 23, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    Pretty soon just going into a bar will be enough.

    Pretty soon?

    Three people caught in the recent sweep were arrested at a bar inside a hotel at which they were registered guests. All three said they had no intention of driving.
    “It’s no defense if you’re staying at a hotel where you were publicly intoxicated at a bar,” Sorrels said.

  33. 33.

    Michael D.

    February 23, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    Was that a mistatement, or is there an unfortunate second act to this?

    No. It just took that long to get through court. Originally, they wanted me to spend 3 MONTHS in jail on weekends. When pleaded not giulty, I got 3 days in jail (credit for one day) and $1500 fine. plus 64 hrs community service. I am ok with all of that.

  34. 34.

    John Cole

    February 23, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    I am just surprised that no one seems to agree with me that a huge fine, three bullet holes in the car, and incarceration stills seems to be a pretty lenient punishment for singing karaoke.

  35. 35.

    Innocent Bystander

    February 23, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    Jake-

    You’re an insufferable prig. Given your consistently dishonest posts here, I don’t doubt you have a closet full of skeletons that contradict your faux moralism on this thread.

  36. 36.

    Michael D.

    February 23, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    John: I only sang karaoke a little bit. I don’tdeserve punishment for that. I am good!

  37. 37.

    Innocent Bystander

    February 23, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    “incarceration stills seems to be a pretty lenient punishment for singing karaoke.”

    For me, there’d be no worse punishment that being sentenced to sing in karaoke.

  38. 38.

    rawshark

    February 23, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    Michael D. Says:

    John: I only sang karaoke a little bit. I don’tdeserve punishment for that. I am good!

    There is no little bit. You sang you deserve to be shot at. Then again maybe you karaoked Southern Man. I hear the folks in Dixie don’t like that song.

  39. 39.

    rawshark

    February 23, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    BTW Micheal, because of the karaoke and for saying you were good at it my mental picture of you is the guy who played Jenifer Aniston’s brother in the Breakup.

  40. 40.

    wasabi gasp

    February 23, 2008 at 1:50 pm

    I am good!

    Maybe too good.

    This whole event points to a disgruntled gun-slingin’ local karaoke champeen packin’ a pocket full of ruffies.

  41. 41.

    RSA

    February 23, 2008 at 1:50 pm

    I used to hang out in a bar Arnold Schwarzenegger opened in Santa Monica, and holy crap–karaoke night was full of slumming semi-professional musicians. Amazing talent. And I say this as someone who laughs at karaoke in general and has never seen a single episode of American Idol.

    But I’m also curious. What did your friends and the bartender have to say?

  42. 42.

    Brachiator

    February 23, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    Michael D – Very simply, my sympathies.

    When pleaded not giulty, I got 3 days in jail (credit for one day) and $1500 fine. plus 64 hrs community service. I am ok with all of that.

    I respect, and learn from, your mature reaction to the outcome of your case.

    rawshark

    And why is that the same people who are all over DUI laws, wanting them to be more strict that our laws against treason, are almost always the same people who will stomp their feet and scream about how the government shouldn’t be in the business of social engineering if a welfare/affirmative action discussion starts up?

    Actually, out here in Southern California, where driving is a natural right, a lot of the radio stations, including BOTH the progressive and the right wing talk radio stations, feature ads by a “famous DUI attorney,” who specializes in helping people beat DUI cases. There is a clear implication made here that unless someone is injured, having the cops arrest you just because you’ve been drinking, is just another example of government intrusion or a violation of civil liberties. Yes, it’s nuts, but there you are.

  43. 43.

    Rex

    February 23, 2008 at 1:56 pm

    The bullet holes are really the meat of this story. We need more commentary on that. Where were you pulled over in relation to your house? What did the bartender and other people at the bar tell you? You must have gone back and asked. How far do you live from the type of neighborhood where people might squeeze off shots at a car? What size were the bullet holes? Did the police do any investigations on the bullet holes? What kind of countertops do you have?

    This post requires some independent citizen journalism.

  44. 44.

    charles

    February 23, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    Well, at least you didn’t get drunk and then write a blog post naming an old ex-girlfriend who you haven’t spoken to in years, and telling everyone what a great kinky lay she is and how she’d probably appreciate getting a few calls.

  45. 45.

    charles

    February 23, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    Or maybe you did.

  46. 46.

    Halteclere

    February 23, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    “incarceration stills seems to be a pretty lenient punishment for singing karaoke.”

    For me, there’d be no worse punishment that being sentenced to sing in karaoke.

    Actually, there is no worse punishment than being sentenced to listening to me sing karaoke.

  47. 47.

    ThymeZone

    February 23, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    I suspect that the bullet holes were retaliation for supporting the Fair Tax.

  48. 48.

    Halteclere

    February 23, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    I forgot to add that the one time I sang karaoke – it was a strange after-wedding party and the bride insisted that everyone take a turn with the mic – some stranger came out of the crowd, took the microphone from me, and finished my song.

    I didn’t mind.

  49. 49.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    February 23, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    Michael’s “problem” is part of the reason why I love living in a “walkable” city. In my neighborhood of Chicago I have a broad selection of restaurants and bars all within 3 or 4 blocks. I can get American homestyle, Chinese, Japanese, Asian fusion, Middle Eastern, Mediterranean and Mexican without walking for more than 10 minutes. I have a wonderful French bistro half a block from my apartment. I have a supermarket and veteranarian that I can comfortably carry groceries from and my cat to. I have coffee shops and fast food. There must be 5 hair salons and 3 clothes boutiques. There is a bus stop half a block away and the train is about 4 blocks (10 minutes).

    I haven’t had a car in 12 years. The supermarket has iGo cars if I need them. My office is located steps from the train downtown.

    Cars are overrated. They’re expensive, they pollute, and they can get you in a whole bunch of trouble – whether it’s your fault or not doesn’t matter.

  50. 50.

    Mhojo

    February 23, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Back in ’99, I went back to the town where I went to college for a reunion with some buddies. We got a room at a nearby hotel, left the car, walked up to the bars. My primary mistake was drinking tequila. I woke up in the emergency room. Turns out, I had walked back to the hotel and, instead of going into my room, got into my car and started driving out of town, headed home. I missed a turn, rolled my car three times and got rescued by the EMS. I was horrified when it occurred to me there wasn’t any particular reason they couldn’t have been telling me that I’d plowed into someone’s 5 year old daughter or something.

  51. 51.

    WMass

    February 23, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    I have a little sympathy, but only a little.

    “When you drink, anything can happen to you”
    No, when YOU drink, anything can happen to YOU. Some of us can go to a bar with the intention of having a drink, and just have a drink without driving home hammered.

    Your post has an undertone that says its not really your fault, you sort of say you are not making excuses then you list various excuses. I have done some extremely stupid things too, but I stopped. How? By taking responsibility for myself. Excuses are reasons to NOT learn from mistakes, stop making excuses (even half-assed ones) and you can learn from your mistakes and not make them again. Good luck with the visa.

  52. 52.

    demimondian

    February 23, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    As someone who doesn’t drink for medical reasons, and is therefore almost always the “ride home” for somebody or another, I’ve got two things to say.

    First, Jake’s right; if you’re going out drinking or drugging, get a ride *to* the bar or the party. Second, right or not, who, besides me, has never made the mistake of driving while inebriated? I will bet even odds that all of those who raised their hands are also non-drinkers, whether for religious or medical reasons. I will bet long odds that no more than two of those who raised their hands are non-drinkers.

    This is particularly poignant to me, personally. Many people know that a particularly gruesome car accident in Madison, Wisconsin was the trigger for the formation of MADD. I was a witness to that accident.

  53. 53.

    DougJ

    February 23, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    I find this kind of story interesting, because I fear sometimes that I drink too much, but I’ve never been anywhere close to being too drunk to remember what happened. I agree that once that happens, it’s probably best to stop drinking once and for all.

  54. 54.

    demimondian

    February 23, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    Some of us can go to a bar with the intention of having a drink, and just have a drink without driving home hammered.

    Remind me to laugh when you discover that not to be true.

  55. 55.

    DougJ

    February 23, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    I’ve got to agree with John about the punishment. If the Islamofascists had their way, you’d surely be beheaded. Don’t forget that Saddam gassed all the karaoke bars in Baghdad.

    I find it ironic that many of the most shrill Bush-haters are the first to take advantage of their Bush-protected right to sing karaoke.

  56. 56.

    ThymeZone

    February 23, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    Remind me to laugh when you discover that not to be true.

    Exactly. IF he doesn’t kill himself, or somebody else.

    People who haven’t exeperienced it just don’t realize that for some of our metabolisms, the gap between “okay, in control” and “not okay, not in control” is a couple of drinks and a half an hour. It can happen quickly, and once it does, anything is possible.

  57. 57.

    Xenos

    February 23, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    No. It just took that long to get through court. Originally, they wanted me to spend 3 MONTHS in jail on weekends. When pleaded not giulty, I got 3 days in jail (credit for one day) and $1500 fine. plus 64 hrs community service. I am ok with all of that.

    Did you run the plea deal by an immigration attorney? Pleading to something punishable by one year imprisonment may count as admission to a crime of moral turpitude under the Immigration and Naturalization Act. If you did not talk to an Immigration Attorney, locate one ASAP.

  58. 58.

    jprice vincenz

    February 23, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    I don’t want to get judgmental here–although I never drink even a beer and drive within two or three hours (not worth it–five grand is cheap, Michael. Add in your insurance coverage/policy increases and the other problems, such as explaining this for the rest of your life), and a cab ride for twenty plus miles is the cheap option.

    Here’s where I have some questions, and I’ll base it in first person experience:

    I enjoy the smoke pretty much every day; plus I’ll have a few (sometimes more) heavy imported beers with that buzz. Add a xanax to the mix, and sometimes even an ambien a few hours later, and I’ve had the experience of coming awake (no pun intended) in the middle of sex (with a partner who is having fun, btw), and I’ve also had experiences where I was enroute to the bathroom, say a ten foot journey from my side of the bed, and come awake and realized that I was lost, had no idea where I was, and confused. My guess, Michael, is the combination of medication, marijuana perhaps, and beers did you in.

    Those three bullet holes would be my second priority (for decoding) when the shock of the arrest and the legal situation cools out. Someone must have been a witness at your local bar or at least have some theory about them.

    BTW: your visa is in jeopardy when you commit a CIMT (Crime Involving Moral Turpitude), and a DUI is not likely to rise to that level. Check the DHS web page or visit one of the local Immigration mouthpieces (if you have an extra five hundred buck lying around doing nothing for you), but you’re probably all right. You’ll be retired by the time DHS finds out.

    One last thing: I won’t drink and drive and that sounds absolutist, but I would not be so quick to jump to the other side of the equation and quit drinking altogether. Moderation, Michael, that’s the key. Born Agains and Bible Thumpers live on that side of the equation, and how often do we laugh when they decide to take a trip to “sin-land” and don drag, etc…

    This society has many problems (esp with the Bush Crime Family and GOP mental midgets and useless Mass Media) but opting to move to the other side of the dichotomy is just setting up inevitable failure. Watch your drinking and be careful with your pharmacology–keep it in check and you’ll be good.

    Those bullet holes, though…..

  59. 59.

    Cain

    February 23, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    I’ve only blacked out once when drinking and that was about a month or so. I was at home though and I was drinking long island iced teas. Somewhere after the 3rd one I seemed to not remember what happened. I woke up the next day in my bed with just my shirt and no pants in bed. I thought my wife had dressed me for bed but I apparently got up by myself and went to bed. Scary stuff.

    I’ve driven only once where I probably shouldn’t have drove and I generally wait a while drinking water until I’m ready to go home. Driving drunk is a bad idea all around.

    cain

  60. 60.

    Ninerdave

    February 23, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    Hey Jake,

    Fuck you.

  61. 61.

    Nikki

    February 23, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    I forgot to add that the one time I sang karaoke – it was a strange after-wedding party and the bride insisted that everyone take a turn with the mic – some stranger came out of the crowd, took the microphone from me, and finished my song.

    Bet that stranger got a standing ovation.

  62. 62.

    Gemina13

    February 23, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    Demimondian states:

    Second, right or not, who, besides me, has never made the mistake of driving while inebriated? I will bet even odds that all of those who raised their hands are also non-drinkers, whether for religious or medical reasons. I will bet long odds that no more than two of those who raised their hands are non-drinkers.

    I have never driven while drunk, or even with as much as a glass of wine in me. And I drink a glass of red wine daily. I also, on occasion, have a shot or two of cognac or Armagnac. I just know not to drink and drive.

    While I applaud people who also don’t drink and drive, I resent the implication that only people who don’t drink know the right thing to do. Even my brother, who’s been a reformed alcoholic for years, would either call a cab or have someone sober come and get him when he’d had a few.

  63. 63.

    The Other Steve

    February 23, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    I can’t believe you sang karaoke.

    Much less admitted to it in a public blog.

  64. 64.

    Lynn Lightfoot

    February 23, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    My oh my, how very nasty Jake’s comment is. I will not ready any of his comments from now on.

  65. 65.

    Asti

    February 23, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Michael,

    DUI is so common these days that you really didn’t need to confess this. It happens. Perhaps you learned your lesson and will not allow it to happen again. If so, it was a good lesson.

    One thing I want to point out though, depending on bartenders to know when you shouldn’t have anymore, bartenders are not often in the business of watching your ability to drive or act human, they are in the business of ringing the bell when another drink is sold. Granted, they are not paid on commission, but their job is to sell and pour. The responsibility for your lack of sobriety first rests with you. Did someone spike your drink? I can’t say, but, would you be in the habit of allowing others to buy you drinks or let people near your drink? You seemed to have blacked out, so, who can say what may have happened? Perhaps the moral of this story is to not put yourself in situations where stuff like this can happen.

    I was in the bartending business once, nobody ever said I had to keep an eyes on the customers’ sobriety.

  66. 66.

    RSA

    February 23, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    “It’s no defense if you’re staying at a hotel where you were publicly intoxicated at a bar,” Sorrels said.

    This is America, you drunken commies, not the land of the free and the hotel room of the brave.

  67. 67.

    Halteclere

    February 23, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    I can’t believe you sang karaoke.

    Much less admitted to it in a public blog.

    It’s bad form to say “no” to a bride on “her day”.

    Bet that stranger got a standing ovation.

    And I was the one clapping the loudest!

  68. 68.

    John Cole

    February 23, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    DUI is so common these days that you really didn’t need to confess this. It happens. Perhaps you learned your lesson and will not allow it to happen again. If so, it was a good lesson.

    No shit, Cheney has three of them.

  69. 69.

    Xenos

    February 23, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    One thing I want to point out though, depending on bartenders to know when you shouldn’t have anymore, bartenders are not often in the business of watching your ability to drive or act human, they are in the business of ringing the bell when another drink is sold.

    Hate to be a lawyer-troll, but dram-shop liability is a reality in some states, although I am only familiar with it in third-party liability situations. I expect there might be direct liability where a bartender knew, or should have known, that a patron had been given a roofie. Interesting subject — why not educate yourself on it before making broad, moralistic statements?

  70. 70.

    dnA

    February 23, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    I would still respect you if this post was written in rhyme and set to a beat.

    In all seriousness, it’s hard to put yourself out there like that online, and despite some of the more judgmental statements on this thread, this kind of stuff can happen to anyone.

  71. 71.

    wasabi gasp

    February 23, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    this kind of stuff can happen to anyone

    …singing We Built This City.

  72. 72.

    jake

    February 23, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Jake—seriously, what’s your fucking problem? You’re too good? Never done anything stupid before?

    Where the fuck did you get that idea? Please, point to the post or posts where I’ve ever said “I never do dumb shit.”

    Except sing karaoke. That ain’t right.

    It’s just when I do dumb shit I don’t try to blame it on anyone but the person who did the dumb shit.

    I don’t expect a bartender to do anything for me but not water down my drinks. Excuse me for flashing a little glibertarianism, but I think laws that make the busiest guy in a room responsible for everyone else in the room are pure MADD bullshit. I also don’t expect my friends to moderate their drinking so they can make sure my drunk ass doesn’t get behind the wheel of a car. Conversely, my friends all know that no one is going to need their car keys taken away because they wouldn’t be stupid enough to go out in their cars in the first place. Do you see how that works? It’s a fuck of a lot easier than expecting this guy and that guy and the other guy to play nanny, isn’t it?

  73. 73.

    Chris Johnson

    February 23, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    Heh. I’m an alcoholic (mostly dope-fiend, but alcohol’s a drug too) so for me, drinking and drugging just does not work, and I don’t do it. I am still a fiend- I got into coffee, with cream and sugar, and promptly drank myself into diabetes, being a fiend and all.

    I don’t go to church but I do other things you may guess about pretty easily, and have for 14 years or so.

    Drinking coffee and driving is a bit less irresponsible, so long as your vibrating limbs don’t cause the car to go out of control ;)

    Michael, I don’t like you, never have, but I hope your wake-up call wakes you up enough, and in time. It doesn’t have to- honestly, if you are a blackout drinker or blacking out due to interactions with prescription medication, it isn’t a given that you will decide to stop blacking out like a good fellow, and drink like a gentleman. You will say so, and we can believe you or not. You can say that you won’t drive after drinking your one beer (are you saying that, or simply that you promise not to black out, go crazy, and get shot at, again?)

    I understand how frustrated some people are with you in this thread, and I figure if you blacked out and ran over someone I cared about, or hell, even one of my cats, I would feel just as hateful toward your blithe ‘here, I will tell you a moral story, and I’m going to be in control from now on!’.

    Nothing of the sort has happened so I can afford to be a little more tolerant, but damn, no wonder it frustrates me when you post ego-posts about nothing, or insist that people adopt some libertarian pipe dream (I’m thinking ‘fair tax’) and then get exasperating when you’re rebuffed.

    People have all different levels of being able to handle themselves (in bars and elsewhere) and if your story is true, you’re flirting with what we call ‘unmanageable’- in bars and certainly here as a blogger. We can’t shoot you over the internet (damn!) but honestly, I’m impressed. A lot of us ne’er-do-wells and reprobates manage to admit we’re out of control WITHOUT bullet holes. That is actually an impressive story point that beats a lot of people’s warstories and it could be considered a wake-up call :)

    Granted, the person shooting at you no doubt intended it a ‘big sleep call’, but they failed. I wonder if it was a cop? As we know from John posts, cops are pretty stroppy these days.

  74. 74.

    YellowJournalism

    February 23, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    Almost everyone I know drinks and drives. You don’t really have any option in this town other than not drinking which is certainly the intent of the holier than thou blue hairs.

    Respectfully, I must point out that there is always another option. Go in a group and have a DD. Yeah, it sucks for the DD for the night, but it can be someone else’s turn the next go around. I know that some small towns and college towns (I’ve lived in both.) can be total assholes about drinking in general, but that doesn’t excuse drinking and driving. There’s just too much at stake to take that chance for yourself, let alone the other people around you on the road.

    I’ve lost two family members to drunk driving. Totally one family member’s fault. He drove across the center line into a truck after a long night of heavy drinking. The truck driver wasn’t hurt, but I’m sure he’s quite affected by it. The other relative died at the scene, and he died later that night in the hospital after being in a coma on life support until his parents could say goodbye. Funerals aren’t a great way to spend the holidays.

  75. 75.

    rmp

    February 23, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    Yellow, I’m so sorry to hear that. As I wrestle with my demons, I’ll try to keep your story close to me.

  76. 76.

    fed up

    February 23, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    when was the last time Michael D posted something even vaguely relevant to the usual content of this blog? was it his moronic Fair Tax embarassment? why is he still permitted to post here?

  77. 77.

    rmp

    February 23, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    hey fed up.

    Go away and join Jake for a we’re better than you party.

  78. 78.

    rmp

    February 23, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    ‘and another thing’, yea, it’s cliche (sp?), if John or Tim had posted a Friday Beer Blogging special, that would’ve been fine with ‘Fed Up’?????

  79. 79.

    Zuzu

    February 23, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    I have a loved one who also learned this lesson the hard way: license suspended, took years to get stuff straightened out.

    It probably saved his life. And possibly other people’s as well.

    Thank you for being smart enough to learn from this.

  80. 80.

    Krista

    February 23, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    Can’t say as I’ve ever driven under the influence, mainly due the fact that I didn’t have a car during my bar-hopping 20’s. But have I done stupid stuff even though I knew better? Well, picture a 19-year old girl, alone, drunk out of her mind, reeling back and forth down the sidewalk on her way home from the clubs at 3 am, taking a shortcut through where all the hookers usually hang out, while wearing extremely impractical shoes and giggling to herself. I think at one point I may have even laid down at a bus stop for a little nap.

    We’ve all done idiotic things. And sometimes, it’s just dumb luck that keeps us from becoming a statistic.

    I knew better. But, that’s why they call it “impaired judgement”, right? And you can make promises with your friends to look out for each other, but if they’re just as drunk as you, that sometimes falls by the wayside. I only did that once, though. I woke up the next morning in my own bed, with no recollection of how I got home. But I was safe. And when I finally did recall my little meandering stroll through the North End, the chills I got were enough to keep me from ever drinking that much (when not already home and safe) again.

    I’m glad you told us about this, Michael. Sometimes it’s good to allow yourself to become a cautionary tale for others.

  81. 81.

    jprice vincenz

    February 23, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    You know, I’m often the Designated Driver (DD) during drinking-at-bars events, and it’s usually a cheaper night out for me than for my friends, and drinking red bull or diet coke all night helps later on when some parties fall asleep and other parties are still,looking for a little Mclovin….. DDs get sum!

    I had wondered why I wasn’t seeing that many Michael posts recently, and thought he did something that got him marginalized here on balloon-juice, and I also don’t really care for his/your politics (Colin Powell wishy/washy, I would say), and one more thing: Three bullet holes, huh? That just sounds too good, especially given what precedes it in the narrative. It really says, “Yeah, see? I could have got killed for real” just like when in the literary genre of the captivity narrative, the woman has to sneak away from the sleeping savages in order to walk through the wilderness to get home to their christian husbands/children. Otherwise, it might seem like she was enjoying herself. Similarly, an alternative ending–with the same level of juiciness–might have included: still wearing the condom, condom hanging out…, inexplicable bites and teeth marks, blood in the car, blood on you, expelling some foreign object, body in the trunk, friend missing, alien abduction (I mean, you are talking about what the independent researchers call “missing time,” aren’t you?) with or sans probe, a ring on your finger, a vegas marriage certificate, the police outside your door first thing in the morning, and so on… Love the literary possibilities.

    I should get back to my own writing…

    Best all; Bong time,

    Price

  82. 82.

    Chris

    February 23, 2008 at 5:08 pm

    Live in Chicago. Drink heavily when I drink but not a heavy drinker. My favorite place to drink used to be way across town. Always felt like I had things under control. But one night I was at the bar and decided I’d had enough. Waited a little while then got in my car and drove the 35 minutes home through the heart of the city. Lots of streets, half of it on the expressway. I lived a few blocks from police area HQ.

    Felt drunker when I got home than I had at the bar.

    Never got stopped.

    Realized I’d made the whole trip with my lights off.

    Moved closer to the bar.

    Have no sympathy for people like me and get a shiver when I think about what could have happened.

  83. 83.

    Asti

    February 23, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Hate to be a lawyer-troll, but dram-shop liability is a reality in some states, although I am only familiar with it in third-party liability situations. I expect there might be direct liability where a bartender knew, or should have known, that a patron had been given a roofie. Interesting subject—why not educate yourself on it before making broad, moralistic statements?

    Well, legally there may be liability, but, are we making this legalistic argument into a responsibility issue? The only person responsible for me being drunk is ME.

    We don’t need a Nanny-state taking responsibility for us doing things of our own choosing. Michael went to a bar, he went there to drink, perhaps he got drunk more than he intended and isn’t sure how that happened, but, the choice to walk into a bar and take a drink was his and his alone.

  84. 84.

    The Pirate

    February 23, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    You know, as someone who has witnessed some of the havoc drunk drivers wreck, I only got one thing to say. You got off fucking light.

    Mandatory prison time for all drunk drivers. I understand that you’re remorseful and truly sorry, and its good that you’ve learned from this mistake. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to spend a year or two in a cell.

  85. 85.

    DMcK

    February 23, 2008 at 5:21 pm

    Hey Jake & other assorted bluenoses: did you even bother reading Mike’s original post? You know, the part where he describes his normal drinking habits (light to moderate), or his many back-up plans should the night become festive enough to warrant them (cabs, rides from pals, walking, etc.)? Or the very real possibility he was the victim of foul play (the most likely scenario, to my mind)? The point of it is not to be a last-straw, hit-the-bottom confession and swearing-off of a life of dissipation; the point is that no matter how high your standards of responsibility and moderation, BAD SHIT can still come down on your head, hard and fast. In fact, in my experience, it’s often the teetotalers & other “responsible” folks who take the safety of themselves and their possessions most for granted in a drinking establishment, which is never a smart thing to do. So lay off the man, willya? He had a horrible, life-altering experience IN SPITE of his past history and best efforts. Still no excuse for the karaoke, however.

  86. 86.

    zsa

    February 23, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    I gotta say, only $12? That’s a pretty good deal. I’ve spent orders of magnitude more on nights that I can’t recall.

  87. 87.

    DougJ

    February 23, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    You’ve talked a lot about your beautiful home, Mike. Just out of curiosity: what kind of countertops do you have?

  88. 88.

    MJ

    February 23, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    Mike thanks for sharing that with us. I am sure this was a hard post to make. Good luck with the legal stuff.

    I suspect that the bullet holes were retaliation for supporting the Fair Tax.

    I assumed it was related to the karaoke.

  89. 89.

    Bruce Baugh

    February 23, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    Michael, thanks for posting this, and good wishes.

  90. 90.

    jake

    February 23, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    Hey Jake & other assorted bluenoses: did you even bother reading Mike’s original post?

    I think that’s fairly obvious from my previous posts, but since what pisses me off keeps sailing over some people’s heads let me say it again:

    It ain’t the stoopid per se, it’s the attempt to spread responsibility for the stoopid. And the karaoke.

    The fact that bad shit can happen when you do dumb shit or smart shit or no shit at all is called life. But making up excuses for your own dumb shit drastically increases your chances of doing the same dumb shit again.

  91. 91.

    wvng

    February 23, 2008 at 5:51 pm

    I think it’s all Obama’s fault.

    And maybe that Captain guy, it’s his fault too.

    And the karaoke, of course. A shooting offense if there ever was one.

  92. 92.

    Asti

    February 23, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    Xenos, sorry to inform you, but, it appears in the state of Georgia, the dram shop laws can’t be used in this case. Michael has fully admitted he use to walk to that bar, and apparently according to Georgia’s dram shop laws, the only bars that can be liable are those that are so far away that people can’t walk to them and therefore it is absolutely assumed the person who is drinking WILL be driving afterwards.

    You can read about it here:

  93. 93.

    mellowjohn

    February 23, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    as aomeone i love said to me when it happened to me about 20 years ago…

    “don’t beat yourself up over this. there’ll be plenty of people standing in in line to do that for you.”

  94. 94.

    Asti

    February 23, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    Whoops, sorry, let me re-supply that link:

    Here

  95. 95.

    Longhairedweirdo

    February 23, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    Um.

    Something in your story doesn’t add up, but you already know that.

    What bothers me is why it doesn’t add up.

    Look: if you’re fibbing a bit because you’re talking in public, I understand that. You don’t want to say something that undermines your defense.

    But when you’re facing troubles with alcohol abuse – and ending up in jail over alcohol qualifies as an incident of abuse – then, if you give a crap about yourself at all, you have got to shovel every last bit of bullshit out of your brain, and take a long, hard look at yourself. You need to kick your own ass, now, because now is when you have a chance to do it.

    Alcoholics don’t start with delusions about their behavior… they make up excuses, so as not to look quite as bad to themselves or others, and eventually hang on to those excuses as a lifeline. So, now is the time to call bullshit on yourself, if bullshit needs to be called.

    Do you really think you might have been drugged? Or are you just saying that because, damn, it’s hard as hell to admit you did this to yourself?

    If it’s the latter, it’s time for you to come clean, to yourself and your family (those covered by privilege, of course) now.

  96. 96.

    p.lukasiak

    February 23, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    Michael…

    have you considered going to a hypnotherapist to try and recover your memory?

    Where were you picked up? Was it on a road you would normally take coming home from a bar?

    Have you contacted the bar and/or your credit card company to find out what time you used your credit card? And exactly what you paid for (i.e. maybe you paid for a drink for someone else.)

    My best guess is that you met someone in the bar fairly soon after you got there and drove them home — and went inside with the person, planning on “spending the night”. You both get good and drunk. (Ex-?)Boyfriend (which you weren’t told about) comes home/over, and he’s a raving lunatic…. You get your ass out of there, and he fires his gun at your car as you are leaving.

  97. 97.

    Off Colfax

    February 23, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Mike:

    Get in touch with Zingo.

    I worked for a similar service here in the Denver area. (Very similar. Almost identical, in fact. To be perfectly honest, it looks like the cribbed the entire operation directly from our own operation, all the way down to riding the same bikes that we did. But I’m fine with that.) They don’t care how far you’re going. They don’t care what car you drive. They are there to get both you AND your car home safely.

    For a fee, of course. $20 to start and $2 per mile.

    Tell your friends. Tell random people you might meet at the bar.

    For the rest of you, here are 5 more similar services.

    No DUI Denver — Denver
    Home James — Los Angeles
    Designated Drivers, Inc. — Las Vegas
    Designated Driver Of America — Colombia, SC
    CityScoot — Knoxville, TN

  98. 98.

    rilkefan

    February 23, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    Brave post. Hope things continue to work out for you.

  99. 99.

    mk

    February 23, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    Michael, I can only imagine how disorienting and how horrifying this must have been for you. It’s obvious it scared you silly. In mulling this over a five mile run I had a thought…

    If this has never happened to you before, and never happens again, then I guess you chalk it up to the alcohol. I’m guessing you’ve been back over (over and over again) the people who were in the bar with you that night. If in thinking about it you’ve decided that no one slipped anything into your drink, then you have to take it as if they didn’t. And, again, you’re left with just the alcohol. But, if you ever have a loss of time/place/space again – under any circumstances – or, if someone ever asks “where you went,” then I’d argue you hie thee to a neurologist. There are any number of idiopathic medical events that can happen to folks. I’m old enough to have experienced a few of them. Single, isolated events, frightening, occasionally life threatening, no known medical cause. But a repeat would be suggestive.

    I’m glad that, at least so far, it’s been a manageable event for you. I’m among those who advise that you chalk it up, learn from it, and let it go. There’s plenty enough life left for the next dumb, hugely embarrassing thing. Don’t dwell too long on this one, or you won’t be able to fully appreciate the next one. ;)

  100. 100.

    p.lukasiak

    February 23, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    Do you really think you might have been drugged? Or are you just saying that because, damn, it’s hard as hell to admit you did this to yourself?

    I’ve only blacked-out once- nearly 30 years ago when I lived in Florida. Although i got home in one piece (with my car two blocks away–my roommate saw it and knew it was my car, and was surprised to see me at home) I have no idea what happened that night.

    I do, however know how I got so drunk — I went to “beat the clock martini night” at a bar, where martinis started at 25 cents for the first hour, and went up from there. I know I had three — but I obviously had a lot more.

    I DID have a problem, but it wasn’t an alcohol problem, it was a “Florida lifestyle” problem. My life consisted of work, sleep, and partying (including drugs), because when you were in South Florida in the 70s and in your early 20s, that’s what you did.

    Within a month, I was back living with my parents in Jersey, and never drink if I know I have to drive (I mean, not even a glass of wine at family holiday dinners). This was quite easy, because I moved to Philly six months later, and gave my car to my sister. (and never owned a car again until three years ago, after buying a house that was so inconvenient to my job it took me at 90 minutes on public transit to get there.)

    All this is to say that I don’t get a “problem” from what Michael is describing. He’s a responsible drinker — even if he is an “alcoholic’ he’s a high-functioning one. One blackout does not a problem drinker make.

  101. 101.

    Longhairedweirdo

    February 23, 2008 at 7:14 pm

    All this is to say that I don’t get a “problem” from what Michael is describing. He’s a responsible drinker—even if he is an “alcoholic’ he’s a high-functioning one. One blackout does not a problem drinker make.

    You might have misunderstood the point of what I said.

    I don’t know if Michael does, or could, or clearly doesn’t, have a problem. There is a very small number of people who have any information about that, and I’m not one of them.

    And I’m not judging him; tomorrow, I might even have forgotten that I wrote what I did because of a post by someone named Michael.

    But I think he needs to be brutally honest with himself over what happened.

    BTW: the term I used, “alcohol abuse”, is the current term (as I understand it) in psychology for using a substance in a way that causes clear impairment/damage. That one has one or more incidents of alcohol abuse does not make that person an alcoholic… but obviously, any incident of abuse is a warning that should be investigated by one’s self.

  102. 102.

    wasabi gasp

    February 23, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    My best guess is that you met someone in the bar fairly soon after you got there and drove them home—and went inside with the person, planning on “spending the night”. You both get good and drunk. (Ex-?)Boyfriend (which you weren’t told about) comes home/over, and he’s a raving lunatic…. You get your ass out of there, and he fires his gun at your car as you are leaving.

    /taffy

  103. 103.

    Darkness

    February 23, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    Nothing wrong with this story, thanks for sharing it, and hope you can get your visa straightened out. If not, you know, there are a lot of places in the world worth living in. We travel a lot and if you can accept a different set of amenities, most of the world offers something unique to life.

    I had a somewhat similar experience except that it didn’t involve bullets, perhaps because gun regulations in the country in question are very strict. A group of us went drinking and after the first hour I don’t remember much of it (lost 7 hours) except a glimpse of the ER and the walk home because it was too late to get a cab. I woke up in the hotel and the morning started with a conversation like : “So, after the ambulance came…” I’m like, “what ambulance??” God, I hope never to have another morning like that.

    Later I had a panic attack thinking what if I had not been with extremely good friends?? Wow, scary thought. What happened to me was not the quantity of alcohol, it was lack of fluids. Now when I drink at all, it’s one drink, one tall glass of water and a salty snack, and then maybe another drink, but the pace is slower than it used to be. I remember near the edge of forgetting that I was desperately trying to tell someone I was with that something was very very wrong with me. I thought I was drugged, honestly, it felt like that. But I’ve since read about problems distance runners have and they describe dehydration exactly the same way, so I don’t think it was nefarious (although the next day it seemed possible) I think it was just an hydration/ion crash. That can make you seem drunker than drunk.

    I’ve heard complaints about cops faking drunk test results because they are under pressure to keep to a quota. A good dui lawyer is probably in order given the size of your bill that night.

    Good luck with everything. And it isn’t stupid to do something that you learn from.

  104. 104.

    Anne Laurie

    February 23, 2008 at 7:44 pm

    While we’re playing Captain Obvious, Michael, I’m going to assume you had the relevant medical tests done between the incident and now. Because it’s true what all the girls are warned about: Bad people will ply you with inhibition-lowering substances in order to get into your pants, and it’s never safe to assume that those bad people are consistent condom-users.

    And while you’re at the doctor, talk to him about your prescription-plus-alcohol interaction, because if you’re that “sensitive” it may be time for you to change medications. Depending on what you’re taking the pills for, your individual biochemistry might be better served by an alternative even if you *never* plan on touching alcohol again. And in any case, it’s a reaction you want your Regular Healthcare Provider to know about — you don’t have to give RHP all the gory details, just let him know that you had a “lost time” incident while taking Prescription X, if only so you can be warned to stay away from Precriptions A,C, G, and Z in the future.

  105. 105.

    Darkness

    February 23, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    I find it ironic that many of the most shrill Bush-haters are the first to take advantage of their Bush-protected right to sing karaoke.

    Oh, Dougj, I’m really starting to love you… well, not in THAT way.

    But on that note, I can’t wait until the word bush goes back to its old meaning. Posts like that still take me too long to parse. Okay, bush-hater, must be gay man and uh, then I see this naked woman in tall red boots holding an matching red uzi up on a little stage guarding a mic. No, wait, that’s not it…

  106. 106.

    DMcK

    February 23, 2008 at 8:01 pm

    The fact that bad shit can happen when you do dumb shit or smart shit or no shit at all is called life. But making up excuses for your own dumb shit drastically increases your chances of doing the same dumb shit again.

    Jake, I see no attempt on Michael’s part not to take complete responsibility for driving his car to the bar when he should have, as general rule, left it home instead. No excuses, no blaming of others, nothing. Acknowledged as a stupid thing to do in spite of any safeguards or back-up plans. Kind of the point of his post in the first place. As I believe him to be the victim of a drink-spiking crime, I’m just a little bit less inclined to lay 100% of the blame for his predicament squarely at his feet.

  107. 107.

    Punchy

    February 23, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    Where the fuck did you get that idea?

    You made a dick post about a pretty serious transgression. Just admit it and move on. We’ll still give ya love in the morning, but prolly with much less anal lubrication.

  108. 108.

    kwAwk

    February 23, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    The attempt to blame a ‘drink-spiking crime’ is an attmept to shift blame from himself. A ‘drink-spiking crime’ is not lible to get one a .24 BAC after a few hours, when one only consumed two beers prior.

    According to http://www.ou.edu/oupd/bac.htm a 180lb man who drank 8 screwdrivers in 1 hour would have a BAC of .18.

    Given that Mike was supposedly in a bar among friends, who probably would have noticed if he were drunk beyond reality, this story sounds pretty fishy. If he was indeed in a bar among friends it should have been pretty easy to backtrack and figure out exactly what happened. Perhaps he is just too embarassed to do that. The ‘bullet holes’ in the car? Perhaps he just backed into something that punched holes in his trunk lid.

  109. 109.

    Rex

    February 23, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    This is in very poor taste but, since Michael is not going to supply anymore details about the episode, it would be a fun creative writing exercise to write stories based only on the facts that we have as to what happened to Michael on that fateful night of January 14, 2007. Michael could then pick the one he liked the best to be the story of what actually happened–think of it as a little consolation love from the peeps at B-J.

  110. 110.

    jake

    February 23, 2008 at 9:58 pm

    You made a dick post about a pretty serious transgression. Just admit it and move on.

    Ah, OK. Ahem:

    To anyone who thought that I thought I was being nice, kind patient or otherwise not a dick: It was never my intent to give the impression that I was being, or attempting to be nice, kind, patient or otherwise not a dick. While some things do deserve nice, kind and patient. Other things deserve the dick. Please, no applause.

    However, I do apologize for the confusion and in the future will mark posts where I fully and without apology intend to be a dick with a D.

  111. 111.

    Darkness

    February 23, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    It isn’t as straightforward as you guys are assuming. In my similar memory loss/drinking episode, the three people I was with all say the same thing (and I trust them, but heck I don’t remember, so I have to trust them). They all say, I wasn’t roaring drunk, nor did I seem like I had checked out mentally (and there are pictures of the evening after my memory quit and I’d agree I look normal, having a good time), they all say I didn’t have any more to drink than they did, they were all three fine the next day. When I did fall down and require many many units of IV drip to revive, it was without warning. But, heck in that state, I could have put three bullets in someone’s car and not remembered.

    Honestly, if I were to give Mike the benefit of the doubt, I would say, he had some other issue that caused his symptoms be it ion imbalance, lack of hydration, or neurological event, and the cop saw it as an easy dui.

    No chance Mike has gps on his cell, eh? Some people run tracking programs to mark everywhere they go during the day. People with a habit of blacking out may find such a feature highly useful.

  112. 112.

    kwAwk

    February 23, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    I guess I would have a more sympathetic reply if his post were a warning that mixing alcohol with prescription drugs could cause you to have a bad experience. I guess I take exception like a few other people with the ‘spiked drink’ theory.

    This isn’t though simply a case of suspecting he had too much to drink. Given that he was convited of drunk driving after pleading not guilty, I think it is a pretty good assumption that this wasn’t just the cops word saying he was a little drunk. He indeed hand his BAC measured. .24 is a hell of a binge no matter how you slice it.

    In any case sometimes good smart people do stupid things, it isn’t such a great deal.

  113. 113.

    Punchy

    February 23, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    To anyone who thought that I thought I was being nice, kind patient or otherwise not a dick: It was never my intent to give the impression that I was being, or attempting to be nice, kind, patient or otherwise not a dick.

    Stay classy, J.

  114. 114.

    gnama gnama

    February 23, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    I didn’t have time to read very far into the comments, but there’s a lot of bad advice here, maybe some good, but an awful lot of pooftery.

    First, you don’t lawyer up and fight a DUI, especially in a hick area like LA where they’re after you with razors. There was something about Atlanta, so maybe you are in Atlanta and fighting might be reasonable, but most places it will only cost you. Under the right conditions you could go for wet and reckless, but it adds up to the same thing when the bills come due. You’ve got to pay the fine, finish out whatever jail time they require if any, and probably pay some reformed drunk to give you lessons on why not to do it.

    Most of the modern idea of a DUI arrest is to make you feel low and mean. You just have to suck up on it and feel low and mean. You are low and mean, although not as low and mean as they want you to feel. People like the asshole with the first comment about how awful you are are a necessary part of the mix. Jake, was it? Jake is the asshole who helps you not do it again by making you feel more of a shit than you really are. It’s a tough row for Jake to hoe, but what the hell, he gives of himself. Maybe he had to work hard to make himself into the necessary dickweed bystander who refuses to forgive you.

    Your job is to continue to recognize that you fucked up, pull up your socks, get the required poker up into your ass and go straight, but don’t get that poker as far up into your ass as Jake got one up into his ass, if he has an ass and not just a clean replaceable plastic straw. Your arrest is not some sort of earth-shaking moral event. You got shitfaced or roofied and you got pulled over. You didn’t kill anyone and didn’t run much chance of killing anyone, although if a little girl had happened to run out into the street chasing her puppy at three a.m. while you were drunk-driving home it could have been bad.

    The bullet holes sound like post-arrest hysteria to me, and I doubt that they exist.

    This is the time for you to feel like shit. Don’t overdo it, and it would probably have been better not to do it on the internet.

    Thank you for sharing.

  115. 115.

    DMcK

    February 23, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    Maybe I’ve just got spiking on the brain ’cause it’s been in the news recently, but Mike’s case more or less fits the profile. Seriously, just Google “drink spiking”. It seems to be a LOT more common than you might assume. I will agree that it’s kind of unbelievable that Michael hasn’t attempted to find out more details from his drinking buddies and the bar staff. But I guess his whole point was simply to say, “don’t bring your car to the bar”. Don’t bring your guns to town, son, don’t bring your guns to town…(/Johnny Cash)

  116. 116.

    TRex

    February 23, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    Hey, Michael, this is a topic that I have some, ah, experience with. You should drop me an email.

    david540 at gmail dot com.

    Kthx!

  117. 117.

    Michael D.

    February 24, 2008 at 12:09 am

    Do you really think you might have been drugged? Or are you just saying that because, damn, it’s hard as hell to admit you did this to yourself?

    Longhairedwierdo: I have no idea what happened that night. All I know is that I never, NEVER drink more than three drinks when I go out. In fact, I am almost always the designated driver.

    Point is though, none of this would have happened to me had I not taken my car that night. No one to blame for it but myself.

    For those who asked, I can’t explain the bullet holes in my car. In the police report, nothing was mention except to say that shots were reported that evening and that they found one slug in my car. I found another one about 2 months later which I keep as a reminder not to do stupid shit like this again.

    As far as immigration goes, I think I am fine there. Someone mentioned that a one year sentence will show up on any visa renewal. That’s true. Fortunately, the prosecutor sentenced me to 11 months, 29 days probation because he knew this was an anomaly for me and not something habitual.

    The reason I posted this was because this blog gets tens of thousands of redsers a week. I thought it would be worth it to tell people that no matter what your best intentions are, anything can happen. I have never drank to get drunk. But here I am…

  118. 118.

    Michael D.

    February 24, 2008 at 12:16 am

    Given that he was convited of drunk driving after pleading not guilty, I think it is a pretty good assumption that this wasn’t just the cops word saying he was a little drunk.

    Nope. You’re right. In fact, the police officer was wonderful to me that night. I appreciated that. I was even a bit surprised. In my legal defense, I looked for any reason to fault the cops. Fact is, they did their job professionally.

  119. 119.

    Far North

    February 24, 2008 at 4:34 am

    “When you drink, anything can happen to you.”

    I think this statement bothers me. With some people, alcohol consumption results in poor judgement. Therefore, people that are sloppy and irresponsible when they drink need to compenstate and make wise decsions before they indulge. Those decisions start with your intent to drive after you’ve indulged. But not everyone looses their ability to reason after a few drinks. So I’m not ready to accept that the statement “anything can happen when you drink” applies to everyone. It doesn’t.

  120. 120.

    Kynn

    February 24, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    I agree with Longhairedweirdo that this doesn’t add up, and with Jake that Michael D is desperately grasping for some explanation other than “I GOT DRUNK OFF MY ASS AND TRIED TO DRIVE AND I’M FUCKING LUCKY I DIDN’T KILL SOMEONE.”

    Way to take responsibility. Your post seems to be “watch out, people you might get drugged!” more than “don’t be an idiot like me.”

    Jake said it well here:

    Unless you’ve hung around unreformed drunks. Then it sounds like after-the-fact excuse making. I really hope your sentence includes some mandatory AA meetings. If it doesn’t, they’re all really nice people, even if the coffee sucks.

    I particularly like how, since this incident of alcohol abuse, Michael D has given up drinking! Except, of course, he makes excuses for still doing so.

    “It was New Year’s, so, I HAD to drink!”

    “I did a wine tasting FOR THIS VERY BLOG, so I HAD to drink!”

    Everything sounds like an alcohol abuser in denial. And not a guy who is honestly trying to come to terms with his own problems that nearly got himself and potentially other people killed.

    Bullet holes? Right.

    Far North said:

    With some people, alcohol consumption results in poor judgement. Therefore, people that are sloppy and irresponsible when they drink need to compenstate and make wise decsions before they indulge.

    What’s more, people who have problems with alcohol abuse and who are in denial about it will go to extreme lengths to make up justifications about it when they are sober, insisting they never, ever have more than “three beers” and they couldn’t possibly imagine how their BAC got so high.

    PS: “January 14, 2007” — well, there’s the date. If we knew what D stands for in Michael’s name, we could probably try to request a copy of the police report. I’m a reporter, I’ve done things like this before, so it may be possible. On the other hand, Michael could just get a copy of the report himself, and post it here! That would be easier.

  121. 121.

    Kynn

    February 24, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    I thought it would be worth it to tell people that no matter what your best intentions are, anything can happen. I have never drank to get drunk. But here I am…

    Bullshit.

    You don’t get arrested for three times the legal limit and then get to claim you have never, ever, ever drank alcohol in order to get drunk.

    Why’d you do it, then, Michael? Why drink alcohol, if not to get drunk? You’re a poor liar and an even worse alcohol abuser.

    Here’s your “insightful” post:

    For a year, I have been agonizing over this. Did someone spike my drink and buy me more? Why would the bartender keep serving someone so obviously drunk? Why didn’t someone pour me into a taxi? Did I just uncharacteristically get out of control?

    Oh, gee, you’re so fucking perfect that you must have been victimized by a fictional drink-spiker (who you can’t remember buying you more), or the bartender, or whoever didn’t get you a taxi, or whoever. And you allow for the possibility that your alcohol abuse got “out of control” but then you excuse yourself by pretending it’s “uncharacteristic[]” for you.

    Right.

    People doubt your story, Michael D, because it’s clearly full of shit and pathetic excuses. People doubt your story because they’re seen the same kind of bullshit from other alcohol abusers in denial, and yet all you’re interested in doing is sitting there and spouting off about how you’re just too good to have this happen to you — it must have been someone else who did it to you! “IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!!!”

    Poor, victimized, still-drinking Michael D.

  122. 122.

    Kynn

    February 24, 2008 at 8:24 pm

    It’s time for BEER BLOGGING REVIEW!

    Nov 17, 2007, 10 months after Michael D’s DUI arrest, he describes buying 12 “cheap beers” that day.

    Nov 19, 2007 (still 10 months post-DUI arrest), Michael D breaks his own promise to himself to not drink during his vacation (so he can “get stuff done around the house”), but he just couldn’t resist — and starts drinking at 1 in the afternoon.

    Dec 1, 2007, nearing the 11-month mark, Michael D waxes ebulliently about an incredible beer.

    Nov 9, 2007, Michael D claims he’s “stopped drinking” but somehow he just had to buy this holiday beer. He says he wouldn’t buy a dozen of it, and yet he… bought two six-packs. Tee hee!

    Nov 2, 2007, Tim F tells us that Michael D had his own “beer-writing gig” on Gay Orbit but somehow Tim has the idea that Michael D “gave up drinking or something like that.” Except, of course, Michael D continues to drink, nearly 10 months after his DUI arrest.

    That same day, Michael D once again goes on about “cheap beer”. A frugal shopper, or just a guy with alcohol abuse problems who got arrested for DUI 10 months before?

    I mean, seriously. These are the fucking public posts on this blog site. The ones tagged beer blogging.

    Please don’t lie to us and tell us that you don’t drink anymore. If you find yourself writing “I’ve stopped drinking, but…” and then talk about drinking, then you’re still drinking.

    And if you are still drinking more than a year after getting arrested for DUI, then you’re a fucking alcohol abuser.

    PS: Really? You never drank to get drunk? You just got drunk…by accident?

  123. 123.

    Kynn

    February 24, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    PS: Ironically, Michael D has no sympathy for drunk drivers. I didn’t feel guilty about haranguing him before, and I feel extra not-guilty for it now!

  124. 124.

    Timmy Mac

    February 25, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    If self-righteousness was beer, an awful lot of you would be shitfaced right now.

  125. 125.

    Chris Johnson

    February 25, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Kynn- turn it over dude ;)

    Michael- indeed, here you are.

  126. 126.

    Chris Johnson

    February 25, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    Hey, I’m just grateful I worked out I was an alcoholic and could not drink in safety before I ever ran anyone over, got shot at, got arrested for DUI, or blew a .24 blood alcohol.

    I DON’T HAVE to live the way Michael apparently lives.

    Neither does he, if only he knew it.

    There’s no such thing as an automatic horrible-realization moment. People die of this sort of thing still making excuses, they develop wet brains and Korsakov’s while still making excuses.

    There IS no point at which a drunk automatically quits drinking, not even running people over while drunk- anybody waiting for that lil voice to stop saying ‘fuck em, it’s not their business what I drink’ and start saying ‘gee, I’ve had one drink, better go home and phone rehab’ is going to be waiting a long, long time.

    Some of us have a lot of love for the people out there suffering but there’s damn-all you can do about it unless a guy asks for help and is like ‘what’s happening? Why is this happening when I mean well?’.

    Michael isn’t asking anything of the sort, so there’s not a lot of point arguing.

  127. 127.

    Reverend Spooner

    February 25, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    Hey, I’m just grateful I worked out I was an alcoholic and could not drink in safety before I ever ran anyone over, got shot at, got arrested for DUI, or blew a .24 blood alcohol.

    I DON’T HAVE to live the way Michael apparently lives.

    Neither does he, if only he knew it.

    There’s no such thing as an automatic horrible-realization moment. People die of this sort of thing still making excuses, they develop wet brains and Korsakov’s while still making excuses.

    There IS no point at which a drunk automatically quits drinking, not even running people over while drunk- anybody waiting for that lil voice to stop saying ‘fuck em, it’s not their business what I drink’ and start saying ‘gee, I’ve had one drink, better go home and phone rehab’ is going to be waiting a long, long time.

    Some of us have a lot of love for the people out there suffering but there’s damn-all you can do about it unless a guy asks for help and is like ‘what’s happening? Why is this happening when I mean well?’.

    Michael isn’t asking anything of the sort, so there’s not a lot of point arguing.

    Exactly!

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - Winter Wren - North of Quebec City (part 2 of 3) - Cap Tourmente and on the way to Tadoussac 2
Image by Winter Wren (5/13/25)

Recent Comments

  • YY_Sima Qian on War for Ukraine Day 1,174: More Drone Swarms in the Small Hours of the Night (May 14, 2025 @ 3:05am)
  • prostratedragon on Tuesday Evening Open Thread (May 14, 2025 @ 2:39am)
  • NaijaGal on News of the Weird Open Thread (May 14, 2025 @ 2:38am)
  • NaijaGal on News of the Weird Open Thread (May 14, 2025 @ 2:37am)
  • wjca on War for Ukraine Day 1,174: More Drone Swarms in the Small Hours of the Night (May 14, 2025 @ 2:14am)

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
War in Ukraine
Donate to Razom for Ukraine

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Meetups

Upcoming Ohio Meetup May 17
5/11 Post about the May 17 Ohio Meetup

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Hands Off! – Denver, San Diego & Austin

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!