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You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Site Maintenance / Oscars Open Thread

Oscars Open Thread

by John Cole|  February 24, 20088:08 pm| 65 Comments

This post is in: Site Maintenance

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Predictions.

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65Comments

  1. 1.

    wasabi gasp

    February 24, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    I Fall Asleep for the win.

  2. 2.

    Incertus

    February 24, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    I predict I will continue grading essays, and that they will either get much better or much worse depending on how soon I begin drinking.

  3. 3.

    demimondian

    February 24, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    Alfredo Gonzales will fail to win, again, for his stellar turn as a charming, but forgetful, ex-attorney struggling with the effects of long-term KoolAid use.

  4. 4.

    TheFountainHead

    February 24, 2008 at 8:23 pm

    I predict Barack Obama will win for Best Supporting Actor in a Tragedy.

  5. 5.

    calipygian

    February 24, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    Hillary Clinton wins best actress for “The Crying Game”.

  6. 6.

    srv

    February 24, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    I predict that we will not lose these two wars fast enough.

  7. 7.

    calipygian

    February 24, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    George Bush wins Best Actor in a landslide in a reprise of the role that Cliff Robertson made famous in “Flowers for Algernon”. It was the role that Dubya was born to play.

  8. 8.

    srv

    February 24, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    demi, you hear Stallman gave up component ownership of emacs?

    It took him that long to figure out the key combo.

  9. 9.

    demimondian

    February 24, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    srv —

    Heh. Good line. No, I hadn’t heard.

    calipygian —

    What about the guy who did Bush’s stunt double in the middle, when his character was supposedly lucid? He surely deserves best supporting actor, doesn’t he?

  10. 10.

    Zuzu

    February 24, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    Dunno about the winners, but Stewart’s monologue was pret-ty good.

  11. 11.

    myiq2xu

    February 24, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Barack Obama will later be stripped of his Oscar when it is discovered he was lip-synching.

  12. 12.

    Kynn

    February 24, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    Prediction: Michael “I don’t drink anymore” Demmons just can’t help himself and cracks open a six-pack or two because of the Oscars.

  13. 13.

    jake

    February 24, 2008 at 9:02 pm

    John McCain takes an Oscar for his role in “No country for old men.”

    Mitt Romney takes one for “Best Special Effect.”

  14. 14.

    Scotty

    February 24, 2008 at 9:06 pm

    I predict that good mileage will be gotten from this over the next few weeks.

  15. 15.

    Liberal Masochist

    February 24, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    I predict the Clinton campaign will hire Anton Chigurh after tonight.

  16. 16.

    calipygian

    February 24, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    I thought Dick Cheney WAS Anton Chigurh.

  17. 17.

    demimondian

    February 24, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    Ob Disc: Romney’s victory will come for his star turn as the one live actor in Pixar’s Toy Story III, in which he played “Mr. Potatoehead Junior”.

  18. 18.

    John S.

    February 24, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    Hillary Clinon will petition to have Obama stripped of his Oscar for Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay) on the grounds that he plagiarized the story his screenplay was based on.

  19. 19.

    Liberal Masochist

    February 24, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    calipygian – you may be right. In a recent speech, Chehey referred to Vladimir Putin as “Friendo”

  20. 20.

    Ninerdave

    February 24, 2008 at 9:27 pm

    I predict…I’m going to have another Talisker, level my Druid, and watch the WW I documentary I’ve been Tivoing.

  21. 21.

    myiq2xu

    February 24, 2008 at 9:27 pm

    I predict the Clinton campaign will hire Anton Chigurh after tonight.

    Betcha Tweety gets very polite if they do.

    And she’ll be a slam dunk to win in November cuz this will be no country for old men.

  22. 22.

    Pb

    February 24, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    I predict that the sky will open, the light will come down, celestial choirs will be signing “Yes, We Can!”, and all the awards will go to Barack Obama.

  23. 23.

    myiq2xu

    February 24, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    I predict that the sky will open, the light will come down, celestial choirs will be signing “Yes, We Can!”, and all the awards will go to Barack Obama.

    And somebody in the front row will faint.

  24. 24.

    Liberal Masochist

    February 24, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    Ninerdave – try a Lagavulin 16 or a nice Highland Park 18. Yum.

  25. 25.

    myiq2xu

    February 24, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    Ninerdave – try a Lagavulin 16 or a nice Highland Park 18. Yum.

    I prefer the Yokohama 78 – It’s better than the 69 because you get 8 more

  26. 26.

    Jen

    February 24, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    Whoever let Tilda Swinton out of the house like that needs to be drawn and quartered.

  27. 27.

    jdogg333

    February 24, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    While the Oscars were on 60 Minutes ran a story of Alabama Governor Don Siegelman. The video is on the web now. The White House blocked the first attempt to air this but it finally got aired during the Oscars.

    Here’s the link:http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/02/21/60minutes/main3859830.shtml
    reply

  28. 28.

    calipygian

    February 24, 2008 at 9:50 pm

    The Coens were so freakin’ high.

  29. 29.

    Liberal Masochist

    February 24, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    myiq – why does Michael Jackson like to have sex with twenty-five year olds?

    A: because there are twenty-five of them!

    (rim shot)

  30. 30.

    TheFountainHead

    February 24, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    Whoever let Tilda Swinton out of the house like that needs to be drawn and quartered.

    Seconded.

  31. 31.

    TheFountainHead

    February 24, 2008 at 9:56 pm

    PS. Whoever the lighting designer was this year should be drug out back and shot. Atrocious.

  32. 32.

    myiq2xu

    February 24, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    myiq – why does Michael Jackson like to have sex with twenty-five year olds?

    A: because there are twenty-five of them!

    What do Michael Jackson and Sears have in common?

    A: they both have little boys jeans half-off!

  33. 33.

    jake

    February 24, 2008 at 10:12 pm

    Fuck the Oscars, Chris Rock is on Comedy Central.

  34. 34.

    p.lukasiak

    February 24, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    No Country for Old Men — the Obama campaign slogan if he gets the nomination

    There Will Be Blood — Pundits discussing the February 26th debate

    Atonement — Barack Obama explains support for making handguns illegal, encouraging welfare moms to have more babies, completely unrestricted access to abortion for everyone, and hanging out with unrepentent terrorist bombers

    Juno — the story of a happy-go-lucky candidate who finds himself in a really difficult situation, but everything turns out okay in the end like it always does in the movies

    Michael Clayton — what? You expect me to come up with something snide with THAT title?

  35. 35.

    Cain

    February 24, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    I hear Larry Craig won best tap dancer in a bathroom.

    cain

  36. 36.

    Krista

    February 24, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    Random thoughts thus far:

    John Travolta’s hairline looks like somebody drew it on with a Sharpie.

    Tilda looked rather ghastly, but her acceptance speech was amusing.

    Sad that Ellen Page didn’t win (yay, fellow Nova Scotian girl!), but I wasn’t really expecting her to, so what are you gonna do? Marion Cotillard was adorable in her acceptance speech.

    Can I just say that it really irks me that the presenters get more time to talk than the actual winners do? Cut down on the cutesy, oh-so-precious presentation banter (or cut it out altogether), and give the winners 15 more seconds. It’s not like most of them will ever get a chance to be up there ever again.

    Cate Blanchett always looks phenomenal, and George Clooney is really the only one there who looks as comfortable in a tux as he would in his pyjamas. Not that I’ve seen George in his pyjamas…yet. A girl can still dream.

    Why does Renee Zelwegger always purse her lips like she just sucked a lemon? And her haircut…yikes!

    Is it wrong that I can’t stop staring at Nicole Kidman’s forehead, looking for signs of movement? Nope. Didn’t see any.

  37. 37.

    myiq2xu

    February 24, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    Why does Renee Zelwegger always purse her lips like she just sucked a lemon? And her haircut…yikes!

    I never understood why she gets so much attention. It’s not that she’s unattractive or a bad actress, but she’s not anything special.

  38. 38.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    February 24, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    Is it wrong that I can’t stop staring at Nicole Kidman’s forehead, looking for signs of movement? Nope. Didn’t see any.

    And why was she wearing the tinsel from her Christmas tree?

  39. 39.

    myiq2xu

    February 24, 2008 at 10:45 pm

    Is it wrong that I can’t stop staring at Nicole Kidman’s forehead, looking for signs of movement? Nope. Didn’t see any.

    Krista is definitely female.

    Most guys are only vaguely aware that Kidman even has a forehead.

  40. 40.

    TR

    February 24, 2008 at 10:46 pm

    John Travolta’s hairline looks like somebody drew it on with a Sharpie.

    I thought it had been sprayed out of a Krylon can, but that’s pretty close.

  41. 41.

    zmulls

    February 24, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    OMG….that guy..Jon McLaughlin…can *not* sing….

  42. 42.

    Krista

    February 24, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    Yikes! Cameron Diaz is orange!

  43. 43.

    zmulls

    February 24, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    And Jon Stewarts is a class act for letting that songwriter come out and do her thank you after getting cut off….

  44. 44.

    DougJ

    February 24, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    So far this Award Ceremony is bad news for Democrats.

  45. 45.

    chopper

    February 24, 2008 at 11:09 pm

    overall, i’d have to say the oscars have been a big win for hillary.

  46. 46.

    jake

    February 24, 2008 at 11:15 pm

    Is it wrong that I can’t stop staring at Nicole Kidman’s forehead, looking for signs of movement?

    Careful now. If the lights hit the snowy slope of Kidman’s brow the right way your retinas will be toast. Why do you think Cruise squints like that?

  47. 47.

    jeffreyw

    February 24, 2008 at 11:20 pm

    Not to be missed: Horton on the CBS 60 Minutes Siegelman expose.

  48. 48.

    jeffreyw

    February 24, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    damn it all
    Horton: http://harpers.org/archive/2008/02/hbc-90002487

  49. 49.

    Ninerdave

    February 24, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    Ninerdave – try a Lagavulin 16 or a nice Highland Park 18. Yum.

    Oh yeah, had ’em both, love ’em. On a peaty kick at the moment.

  50. 50.

    Brachiator

    February 24, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    why does Michael Jackson like to have sex with twenty-five year olds?

    A: because there are twenty-five of them!

    Better punch line: because there are twenty of them.

    I liked when the woman from “Once” came back onstage and gave her acceptance speech about the importance of dreams and hope. Edited out of the broadcast was Hillary Clinton rushing out, slapping the poor woman down with her own Oscar, and shouting “Get real! Get serious!”

    I seriously liked when troops in Iraq gave out an Oscar. Look for the inevitable conservative wingnut spin later tonight and all day tomorrow.

  51. 51.

    Ninerdave

    February 24, 2008 at 11:32 pm

    Alright here’s a question for all the Oscar buffs. It’s a question that you’re not going to be able to answer to my satisfaction, I promise, but I’ll pose it anyway.

    Why do you care? What does it matter? Especially the Red Carpet. WTF? Who cares what people are dressing like.

    I gave up on award shows when Jethro Tull got the first “Heavy Metal” grammy, beating out Metallica. Award shows do not reflect the best of the year, they reflect something…I’m not sure what.

    I ask this as someone who is peripherally involved in the music and movie biz. Who cares what the Academy thinks?

    And what is up with “celebrity” worship in this country? My wife gets People and I flip though it occationally: my IQ drops 2x (pun intendend) when I look at it.

    Maxim has more meat in it than People.

    So explain this too me? Anyone?

  52. 52.

    jeffreyw

    February 24, 2008 at 11:34 pm

    Horton?

  53. 53.

    Xanthippas

    February 24, 2008 at 11:46 pm

    http://www.harpers.org/archive/2008/02/hbc-90002487

    I third. If you guys haven’t seen this yet, you should.

  54. 54.

    myiq2xu

    February 24, 2008 at 11:48 pm

    And what is up with “celebrity” worship in this country? My wife gets People and I flip though it occationally: my IQ drops 2x (pun intendend) when I look at it.

    I never read people, as you may have guessed.

  55. 55.

    SmilingPolitely

    February 25, 2008 at 12:33 am

    I’m a sucker for the nominee that cries. Yes, I’m an uber-pansy.

    Hillary is an exception, of course, as her tears are pumped in via artificial tubing installed in her stupid face.

  56. 56.

    Martin

    February 25, 2008 at 12:34 am

    I wonder if we are nearing the point that the Republican Party could just be indicted under RICO laws? The Siegelman story, along with the DOJ and voter suppression story, taken as a whole really starts to smack of organized crime. These aren’t acts of individuals but large collaborative efforts to break the law.

  57. 57.

    Brachiator

    February 25, 2008 at 12:56 am

    Ninerdave Says:

    Why do you care? What does it matter? Especially the Red Carpet. WTF? Who cares what people are dressing like.

    I gave up on award shows when Jethro Tull got the first “Heavy Metal” grammy, beating out Metallica. Award shows do not reflect the best of the year, they reflect something…I’m not sure what.

    Someone might easily ask, who gives a rat’s ass about Jethro Tull?

    Of course, the answer is that what gives us pleasure is personal, and nothing much is gained by insisting that anyone justify his or her preferences.

    I ask this as someone who is peripherally involved in the music and movie biz. Who cares what the Academy thinks?

    I watch the Oscars, but pretty much forget about them the next day. However, I do enjoy seeing talented people like Daniel Day Lewis recognized for his talents. I was even impressed by the award given to 98 year old veteran production designer Robert Boyle, and noted that he for years inspired new generations of film makers at AFI.

    Maxim has more meat in it than People.

    Apparently, Maxim has its share of outright fraud as well, judging from this recent news story:

    The Black Crowes are lashing out at Maxim magazine for reviewing the band’s new album — apparently without actually hearing it first.

    The review, published in Maxim’s March issue, gives the Crowes’ “Warpaint” a rating of two-and-a-half stars out of five.

    “The writer — who has not heard the album since advance CDs were not made available — wrote what appears to be a disparaging assessment anyway, citing, `it hasn’t left Chris Robinson and the gang much room for growth,'” said a statement on the band’s official Web site.

    The band’s manager, Pete Angelus, said the magazine explained that its review was an “educated guess.”

    The full story can be found here:

    Black Crowes say Maxim review a fraud

    So explain this to me? Anyone?

    By the way here is a piece of Best Original Song co-winner Marketa Irglova’s belatedly given Oscar speech. (P.S. Don’t tell Hillary Clinton, because it’s all about dreams and hope):

    ”The fact that we’re standing here tonight, the fact that we’re able to hold this, it’s just proof that no matter how far out your dreams are, it’s possible,” Irglova said during take two. ”And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream, and don’t give up. This song was written from the perspective of hope, and hope, at the end of the day, connects us all, no matter how different we are.”

  58. 58.

    Mary

    February 25, 2008 at 1:55 am

    My favourite part of the Oscars was Tilda Swinton is all her redheaded, shiny-faced, glorious eccentricity. I’m usually one to rag on bad fashion, but she stepped sideways instead of trying too hard (I’m looking at you, Nicole and Cameron!) and I adored her for it.

    Otherwise, it was pretty boring. I found someone else to do this evening and caught up with the show on fast-forward. The lack of time for a full writing job showed. I’m glad they tried, but this won’t go down as one of the classics.

  59. 59.

    Zuzu

    February 25, 2008 at 1:57 am

    I never understood why she gets so much attention. It’s not that she’s unattractive or a bad actress, but she’s not anything special.

    I don’t get it either. Her acting just seems to consist of turning her head different ways while pursing her lips.

    Although I have to say her take on the Kim Novak character in “Vertigo” for this month’s Vanity Fair is pretty great.

  60. 60.

    Zuzu

    February 25, 2008 at 1:59 am

    I seriously liked when troops in Iraq gave out an Oscar. Look for the inevitable conservative wingnut spin later tonight and all day tomorrow.

    As I recall they were quick and loud in complaining about the lack of shout-outs to the troops in at least one prior show.

  61. 61.

    Zuzu

    February 25, 2008 at 2:04 am

    I always love the reactions of the moms and spouses and kids when someone’s name is called. Real human beings, and all.

    I loved where the camera just almost caught Frances McDormand putting her fingers in her mouth for a big ol’ whistle when her Coen hubby was leaving the stage.

  62. 62.

    Pooh

    February 25, 2008 at 2:33 am

    Poor wardrobe choice by Diablo…

  63. 63.

    Asti

    February 25, 2008 at 3:33 am

    RE: Siegelman story

    I just sent two emails to TZ in regarding the AL blackout, but I’m going to copy and paste the second one here:

    Huffington Post

    Second Email:

    WKYT blames network for last-minute blackout

    Okay, get this:

    I did a search of “Alabama Blackout” thinking I was searching the parameters of the story I just sent you (the Siegelman segment on CBS 60 Minutes being blacked out in parts of Alabama, Tennessee and Florida – on station WHNT in Huntsville, AL) and I had found links to Harpers Magazine (linked on BJ, where I initially found the link to the story, I learned of the blackout on the Harper’s page) and when I did that search I mentioned above, I found that there was another blackout of a CBS affiliate WKYT-27 (a different CBS station in the same viewing area – Alabama, Tennessee and Florida) on Saturday afternoon during the final minutes of a college basketball game which created havoc for the viewers who called and complained, and a news story was created about it on the link at the top of this email.

    I did a search and found some info on Huffington Post which also referenced a link to Democratic Underground in the comments (I don’t like using DU but, there were viewers from the area who were putting up the crawler message on the black screen in that viewing area which stated that there was a technical difficulty at the CBS NY control center (which only affected people in the Alabama/Tennessee/Florida – read Local Siegelman) area and nowhere else. The info on DU states that calls were made to CBS-NY to ask if the blackout glitch was their fault and they said that the station was not being truthful and that if any blackout occurred, it occurred due to problems in Alabama. The info I found on the Siegelman segment blackout states that the station returned to normal broadcasting not long after the Siegelman segment was over (12 minutes into the show I think it said).

    Here is my theory:

    A request came through from someone very influential in AL or Washington (Karl Rove’s people?) on Saturday to WKYT-27 stating they needed to black out the station on Sunday night during the Siegelman segment and they did not read the memo carefully and blacked out the game on Saturday rather than the 60 Mins segment on Sunday (or maybe they blacked that out too, a second CBS station in the same area, nobody is reporting what that station aired last night). WKYT-27 also blamed the blackout of the basketball game on a technical glitch at CBS NY.

    What do you think?

    This is a huge censorship issue, I think this needs to be pushed as much as possible.

  64. 64.

    Asti

    February 25, 2008 at 3:41 am

    Here is the Democratic Underground link to the story

  65. 65.

    jake

    February 25, 2008 at 8:55 am

    The band’s manager, Pete Angelus, said the magazine explained that its review was an “educated guess.”

    ???

    Whoa. Dude.

    My WTFoMeter just blew up.

    I’m going to make an “educated guess” that the staff at Maxim runs around in big girl’s panties and have inflatable sheep in their cubicles.

    But you know what? This country is still being run by people who invaded a country for one reason and when that reason turned out to be a big fucking lie, they shrugged and said “Hey, we guessed wrong. Sue us.” So in the grand scheme of Suck, an “educated guess,” about a record release is only such a brief fleeting teeny tiny suck a spider wouldn’t enjoy it.

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