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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Asshole of the Year Nominee

Asshole of the Year Nominee

by John Cole|  March 10, 20089:39 pm| 44 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity, Assholes

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An early entrant into the Asshole of the Year contest- Rep. Sally Kern:

Representative Sally Kern said that gays are a bigger threat to American society than terrorists on Saturday.

“I honestly think it’s the biggest threat even that our nation has,” the lawmaker said. “Even more so than terrorists or Islam, which I think is a big threat.”

“I’m not gay bashing,” Kern said in the recording, “but according to God’s word, that is not the right kind of lifestyle. It has deadly consequences.”

Kern said that the education system is indoctrinating children as young as two years old into the gay lifestyle. “The homosexual agenda is destroying our country,” said Kern.

“Studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than a few decades,” she said.

My own personal study has shown that Sally Kern is an asshole.

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Reader Interactions

44Comments

  1. 1.

    Lavocat

    March 10, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    Life is so much easier when you make reality conform to your beliefs instead of the other way around.

    So, when does the rapture start?

  2. 2.

    Asti

    March 10, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    “Studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than a few decades,” she said.

    Yeah, those Romans phittered out in just a decade or two, and the Greeks, well, they didn’t least more than a few years.

  3. 3.

    jake

    March 10, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    Alternate title: Check the Kerning

    “I’m not gay bashing,” Kern said in the recording, “but according to God’s word, that is not the right kind of lifestyle. It has deadly consequences.”

    I’m not Sally Kern bashing, but Republican douche sippers like Ms. Kern make the Baby Jesus throw a tantrum when they walk beneath the open sky.

    I can’t believe piece of garbage denied the fact that she was gay bashing. “Hey, I just think ya’ll are worse than mass murders. But no offense, ‘k?”

    Fine you cowardly scrapings of a truck stop restroom. You won’t mind if I say studies have shown that people who are obsessed with other peoples personal lives regularly lay down before cattle. Bitch.

  4. 4.

    pessullivan

    March 10, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    I agree she’s an asshole and thankfully you have the evidence to back your claim.

  5. 5.

    S.W. Anderson

    March 10, 2008 at 10:04 pm

    “I’m not gay bashing,” Kern said in the recording, “but according to God’s word, that is not the right kind of lifestyle. It has deadly consequences.”

    When conservative Republicans say they’re not being racist, bashing gays or engaging in class warfare, you can be sure that’s exactly what they’re doing.

    It would be interesting to know how Kern came by God’s word. She’s probably referring to the Bible, which, the last I heard, wasn’t penned by God. Rather, it was written down by men, based on interpretations of ancient writings and stories handed down through generations, some of them parables, fables and the like. Thus, important as it is, the Bible is very much the product of fallible human beings. Lots of them.

    If anyone doubts the possibility of humans introducing faulty interpretations over the span of a couple millennia and multiple highly challenging translations, consider how people such as Kern feel justified to render God’s judgment, which the Bible tells us God said is His alone, while blithely ignoring the one about doing unto others.

    No offense meant to God or the Bible, but I think in this matter Kern would do better to follow the advice of a well-known and much-published mortal, Ann Landers, who was known to recommend, “MYOB.”

  6. 6.

    tBone

    March 10, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    “Even more so than terrorists or Islam, which I think is a big threat.”

    It’s sad that this is just a warm-up for the rest of her even more disgusting comments.

    What will she do if America elects gay Muslim Barack Obama?

  7. 7.

    oh really

    March 10, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    C’mon, guys, give ol’ Sally a break. When she says that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than a few decades….” she’s not talking about Rome or Greece. Nope, she’s talking about Gaylandia, Lesbovania, and Eastern Homostan. Why, they were all so depraved, they disappeared before they even existed! Which, sadly, would have been the best course (for us) for Ms. Kern’s own genetic material.

  8. 8.

    Davis X. Machina

    March 10, 2008 at 10:10 pm

    Eastern Homostan

    Shoot, I thought it was still called Provincetown.

    :-)

  9. 9.

    Martin

    March 10, 2008 at 10:12 pm

    But all in the seas or in the rivers that do not have fins and scales, all that move in the water or any living thing which is in the water, they are an abomination to you.

    Death to Sig Hansen for he brings terror to America!

  10. 10.

    Stephen

    March 10, 2008 at 10:14 pm

    Listen to the tape of this, if you can bear it – her voice gets more and more helium squeaky as she drivels on – its like all her stupid is sucking the oxygen out of the radio studio.

  11. 11.

    Asti

    March 10, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    Death to Sig Hansen for he brings terror to America!

    Hey, lay off my crabcake!

  12. 12.

    p.a.

    March 10, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    Remember The Onion headline, ‘Gay groups announce they have surpassed recruitment goals this year’? (paraphrase). Several fundie gay alert groups thought it was real and raised the alarm. Anger at these people is well deserved, but I think public derision is a better way to get them to crawl back under their rocks.

  13. 13.

    ThymeZone

    March 10, 2008 at 10:34 pm

    The homosexual agenda is destroying our country?

    Um, can we have our $3t war money back? Apparently we attacked the wrong country. We should have invaded the Castro District.

  14. 14.

    DougJ

    March 10, 2008 at 10:52 pm

    Won’t the Islamofascists kill all teh gays? Isn’t this an argument in favor of letting them in?

  15. 15.

    BettyPageisaBlonde

    March 10, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    Someone call me when teh gay flies an airplane into a building. Otherwise I’m not going to pay attention to this shit.

  16. 16.

    jcricket

    March 10, 2008 at 10:58 pm

    When conservative Republicans say they’re not being racist, bashing gays or engaging in class warfare, you can be sure that’s exactly what they’re doing.

    To be fair, this is true of nearly everyone that begins a sentence with, “I don’t mean to be rude, but” (insert rude comment here)…

    Republicans have just decided the “inoculation of charges via first sentence clause” defense is good enough for everything.

  17. 17.

    Martin

    March 10, 2008 at 11:09 pm

    Homometer was one of the best ever Daily Show segments.

  18. 18.

    Conservatively Liberal

    March 10, 2008 at 11:12 pm

    Repubs are just jealous that their men have to habituate men’s rooms because they are too scared to come out of the closet, so teh gays is teh evil to them. How dare those gays have the audacity to speak openly about their lives! Oh the horror!

    She just knows that the day is coming when we are attacked by a gay terrorist who plants a giant dildo bomb made out of C4. When that happens, we are really screwed.

    Don’t blame Sig Hansen for this. He would probably shove her in a pot and use her for bait, but the crabs don’t eat shit.

  19. 19.

    TenguPhule

    March 10, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    In other News, Republicans are confirmed to still be the biggest assholes on Earth

    Somebody stop the planet, we need to kick some nuts off.

  20. 20.

    AkaDad

    March 10, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    It’s refreshing to see a Republican politician take on her own party.

  21. 21.

    jake

    March 10, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    her voice gets more and more helium squeaky as she drivels on – its like all her stupid is sucking the oxygen out of the radio studio.

    Or the straps on her wet suit were getting tighter.

  22. 22.

    Punchy

    March 10, 2008 at 11:39 pm

    Won’t the Islamofascists kill all teh gays? Isn’t this an argument in favor of letting them in?

    Damn you Doug. You ganked my line. Something about letting all the terrorist live scot-free in San Fran so they can kill all the phags and nobody caring….

    OK really does put out the craziest fucking pols in the nation.

  23. 23.

    OniHanzo

    March 11, 2008 at 12:37 am

    It’s a shithole state that sadly forces rational people to just keep their heads down amongst the wealth of born-again dumb.

    And anyone who lives there or has lived there knows that’s indisputable.

  24. 24.

    Nathan R

    March 11, 2008 at 12:53 am

    Sigh. To go along with the “I’m not gay bashing” = “I am gay bashing” theme, any time somebody says “Studies show” without citing actual (scientific) studies, they mean to say “I hope that studies show, but they probably don’t”

  25. 25.

    Chuck Butcher

    March 11, 2008 at 1:38 am

    Every once in awhile I bother my head with silly questions, like what is it about the existance of homosexuals that makes people so fucking mean? I’m a married hetero and I find nothing attractive about that orientation but for crying out loud, so what? I’ll admit that I do not understand, other than rationally, a physical attraction between same sexes. I’m wired wrong to “get it.” I do understand love and that’s enough for my head to figure out that people deserve to have that in their lives whether their idea of partners is attractive to me or not.

    My point in that ramble is that the heat and violence of the reaction of the ‘Kerns’ is past my understanding. It is as though somebody was trying to do something to them. That is where I get lost. The reaction of women in this regard is truly strange, I cannot for the life of me figure out what threat male homosexuals pose to them. I know about this “repressed homosexuality” stuff and it seems like BS in most cases. It’s a short hand throw-off line mostly, like guns are a dick enhancer. Like I said, bother my head with shit.

  26. 26.

    cindiloohoo

    March 11, 2008 at 5:04 am

    Actually, the worst thing she said in the video was, “some lifestyles are not equal, just like some religions are not equal.” We should all be worried when a representative, especially one who was a school teacher, apparently doesn’t agree with the principles of the constitution and the bill of rights.

  27. 27.

    JPL

    March 11, 2008 at 5:05 am

    Someone is trying to turn them on.

    That’s what I always assume.

  28. 28.

    Jay C

    March 11, 2008 at 5:15 am

    Why did I somehow just know (without checking the links) that Sally Kern just had to be from Oklahoma?

    Do all Republican politicos from OK have to take some sort of special course in sexual-stereotype panic-mongering? Or is it something in the water or air?

  29. 29.

    merlallen

    March 11, 2008 at 6:07 am

    Kern is obviously gay.

  30. 30.

    jake

    March 11, 2008 at 6:19 am

    The reaction of women in this regard is truly strange, I cannot for the life of me figure out what threat male homosexuals pose to them.

    I’m not sure why a bunch of limp-wristed sissy pervs pose a threat to anyone. Maybe we’re supposed to get our pals the biker dykes to hold them down while we giggle and style their hair and grope their bottoms them or something.

    Oh wait. Her husband’s an evangelical preacher. She’s probably afraid of suffering the same embarrassment Mrs. Haggard experienced. And of course, there’s the kiddie diddling:

    Kern said that the education system is indoctrinating children as young as two years old into the gay lifestyle.

    Because there are a lot of two year olds in the edumekation system.

    In the tiny minds of people like Kern, gays and lesbians pose the same “threat” to America that African-Americans pose and immigrants pose and Jews pose. Different = Dangerous! And if all the currently dangerous people were to disappear it would take these fucknuts five seconds to find someone else to go Code Brown over. Left handed people, people with a gap between their front teeth. Gingers. Who knows? They probably have a long list somewhere so they never have to let their Hate Ons go limp.

    Plus, we are talking about a politician, so I assume she’s showing her constituents what a fine family values type representative she is.

  31. 31.

    conumbdrum

    March 11, 2008 at 7:05 am

    Kern is obviously gay.

    Twenty bucks says Sally Kern’s past includes a liason with a warm, willing gym teacher… followed by countless hours of tearful prayers and Bible clutching.

  32. 32.

    Callisto

    March 11, 2008 at 7:21 am

    Shorter: “I don’t hate gays at all. But god does”.

    Gotta love the right wing.

  33. 33.

    Alex

    March 11, 2008 at 7:28 am

    Kern said that the education system is indoctrinating children as young as two years old into the gay lifestyle.

    Because there are a lot of two year olds in the edumekation system.

    Actually, at some point in her rant she says that the main reason that liberals are pushing government-funded early childhood education is to start this homosexual indoctrination on children at the minimum possible age. That’s some serious paranoia going on there.

  34. 34.

    Neal

    March 11, 2008 at 7:30 am

    Anybody ever see Run Ronnie Run?
    The part about the about the Gay Conspiracy?

    I guess Sally’s CD cabinet is exit only.

  35. 35.

    jake

    March 11, 2008 at 7:45 am

    Actually, at some point in her rant she says that the main reason that liberals are pushing government-funded early childhood education is to start this homosexual indoctrination on children at the minimum possible age.

    4 Realz? Wow. I bet the Brown Squirts give her a prize for most original attack on Head Start. And by “original” I mean “Bat shit k-razee.”

    I can’t believe this woman was ever allowed to teach. “When did you learn your ABCs Tommy?” “When I was four.”
    “SINNER! GET THEE HENCE!l1”

  36. 36.

    Z

    March 11, 2008 at 9:33 am

    What! How did she know about the super-secret gay agenda? It was that damn gym teacher wasn’t it! I think we are going to have to have another little meeting about not discussing gay plans for world domination while having sex with conservatives.

  37. 37.

    jcricket

    March 11, 2008 at 10:04 am

    Actually, the worst thing she said in the video was, “some lifestyles are not equal, just like some religions are not equal.”

    You know one thing that drives me nuts about the whole debate – the issue over whether homosexuality is a choice or innate. IT DOESN’T MATTER. Your “race” and “gender” are innate (work with me here), and we have laws to prevent discrimination based on those factors. Your marital status and religion, on the other hand, are both choices, and we quite often have laws to prevent discrimination based on those factors as well.

    We also don’t go around (except for the fundies) and tell people they have to change their religion (which is, again, a choice).

    So whether sexual orientation is purely innate, part choice, all choice, it doesn’t matter – same rules should apply as other personal characteristics.

    And I second (third, fourth?) the whole “I don’t get why these people think something’s gonna be done to them by the homos”. I live in a homo-tastic area, went to a college with a high proportion (compared to general population) of homos (with a school full of lesbians next door, to boot) and even worked in a company for 4 years with like a 20% homo employee base. None of those things make me “want to go gay”. No one’s out there recruiting you, except maybe whatever individual wishes you would like them (just like if you’re hetero and you flirt with someone who might reject/accept you).

    Maybe that’s Kern’s problem – none of the gays are flirting with her.

  38. 38.

    serge

    March 11, 2008 at 10:57 am

    It’s at times like this that I reflect on how lucky I am to live in the primordial swamp that is coastal South Carolina.

    We’re almost this stupid at any moment in time, but rarely.

  39. 39.

    The Populist

    March 11, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    So the majority of law abiding Islamic folks are dangerous? Why don’t we kick them out now then (snark)?

    C’mon America…the world is laughing at us but nobody seems to give a shit. When we go bankrupt this country is going to sadly learn how alone we really are.

    We hitch our wagons to this nonsense that Islam is evil (it’s not as a whole or else why haven’t over a billion people attacked us?) because we don’t understand it, gays are evil (sorry, I’ve known gay people since I was a kid – I am 40 and not ONCE have I woken up and thought that a guy’s hairy chest and ass turn me on!) and terrorists are everywhere (well, Aryan Nations and homegrown terrorists do exist and they aren’t Islamists).

    We are scared of our own damn shadow while pretending to act tough. It’s really quite sad. The biggest threat to this country is from the assholes preaching hate while hiding behind their damn lapel pins.

  40. 40.

    Ninerdave

    March 11, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    Why is it this kinda of bigotry is always backed up with anonymous “studies”

    Could be a new matra for the religious right?

    “I’m not gay bashing, but WATERBORED TEH GHAYZ!!”

  41. 41.

    Gay Veteran

    March 11, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    anytime a politician or preacher goes on and on and on about Teh Gays then the first question that needs to be asked is “when did you first question your own sexuality?”

  42. 42.

    Gary Farber

    March 11, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    “An early entrant into the Asshole of the Year contest- Rep. Sally Kern:”

    It’s perhaps useful to distinguish between what many people take to be the default usage, that anyone with “Rep.” preceding their name is in the United States Congress, and the tens of thousands of people who are entitled to that prefix, who aren’t.

    Rep. Sally Kern isn’t one of the former. (Oklahoma House.)

  43. 43.

    James Probis

    March 11, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    Jay C Says:

    Why did I somehow just know (without checking the links) that Sally Kern just had to be from Oklahoma?

    Do all Republican politicos from OK have to take some sort of special course in sexual-stereotype panic-mongering? Or is it something in the water or air?
    Not just from Oklahoma, she’s a representative for OKC. When she talks about gays being worse than terrorists she’s supposed to be representing people who saw dead children, family members, dug from the rubble of the Murrah federal building.
    Republicans don’t actually care about terrorism, for them it’s nothing but an excuse to drum up hatred against people who’ve done nothing to deserve it. And they don’t mind spitting on people who’ve actually been victims of terrorism in the process.

  44. 44.

    JimG

    March 12, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Re: “Representative Sally Kern said that gays are a bigger threat to American society than terrorists on Saturday.”

    I guess terrorists are a bigger threat the other 6 days of the week then? I wonder what it is about Saturday?

    Well, that is just as logical as everything else she said…

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