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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Threats

Threats

by Tim F|  March 28, 200810:54 pm| 30 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Matt Yglesias spends entirely too much time worrying about the threat from robots, pirates and (presumably) robot pirate zombies. The real threat, as everyone knows, is me.

Before anyone complains, all I have to ask is whether any of you can sing eight octaves. Can you even find three people who collectively cover eight octaves? No? Then pipe down and enjoy.

***Update***

Stupid Snopes. Still, “possibly close to six octaves” is better than your average Hannukah cantor.

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Reader Interactions

30Comments

  1. 1.

    srv

    March 28, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    5, maybe 6 octaves.

  2. 2.

    Pb

    March 28, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    Amateur. Bow to the master.

  3. 3.

    Martin

    March 28, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    8 octaves? Nobody can sing 8. 3 is pushing it for really talented singers, maybe 4 for the freaks. My wife can almost cover 3 singing and she’s got one of the broadest ranges in her choirs.

    Lots of people will claim 4+ octaves, but they can’t actually sing and hold those notes. My wife can hit quite a few notes above high C but can’t hold them. High C is the best she can carry.

  4. 4.

    TenguPhule

    March 28, 2008 at 11:36 pm

    One is all you need.

    People will pay you not to use it.

  5. 5.

    bend

    March 28, 2008 at 11:43 pm

    why is Johnny depp in that video? I just, well, i just don’t understand.

  6. 6.

    bob

    March 29, 2008 at 12:01 am

    Mariah Carey sucks. Regardless of her range.

  7. 7.

    Pb

    March 29, 2008 at 12:34 am

    Wait. How do we know that she can’t sound like Barry White? Now that might be a Mariah Carey album worth having.

  8. 8.

    The Pirate

    March 29, 2008 at 12:56 am

    Captain Beefheart could cover 4.5 octaves. True story.

  9. 9.

    TheFountainHead

    March 29, 2008 at 1:39 am

    I gotchyer eight octaves right ‘ere!!!

    (Sorry, I was in the Bronx tonight)

  10. 10.

    bobnoxious

    March 29, 2008 at 1:47 am

    Range? After a regrettable Indonesian encounter, paid a visit to the domestic STD clinic. Nurse Ratched shoved a dry cue tip up my willie without any warning. Never been able to hit that note again. Can’t quite reach the low notes anymore. Haven’t been back to Indo either…

  11. 11.

    Keith

    March 29, 2008 at 3:30 am

    Closest I can think of is Ronnie James Dio with I think 5

  12. 12.

    Xenos

    March 29, 2008 at 5:00 am

    Too many notes.

  13. 13.

    D-Chance.

    March 29, 2008 at 5:24 am

    Don’t forget to ‘save the planet’ tonight. Earth Hour. Google is already doing its share (I guess they never heard of Blackle, which has been doing the exact same thing for over a year now).

    P.S. Heh. Talk about empty gestures. Google itself admits,

    As to why we don’t do this permanently – it saves no energy; modern displays use the same amount of power regardless of what they display.

    IOW, they’re all hat; no cattle. And people still buy into this crap when even the messengers themselves admit it’s crap.

  14. 14.

    John S.

    March 29, 2008 at 6:17 am

    Nobody can sing 8.

    Even Yma Sumac could only cover about 4 octaves, and though Mariah allegedly can cover about 5 octaves, I think Sumac has a better set of pipes – especially in the baritone range.

  15. 15.

    jake

    March 29, 2008 at 7:08 am

    Can you even find three people who collectively cover eight octaves?

    Sure, if I’m allowed to kick them in the nads.

  16. 16.

    volney

    March 29, 2008 at 7:58 am

    Carey squeals the top two octaves. Any pig has better range.

  17. 17.

    mikesdak

    March 29, 2008 at 8:00 am

    Julie Andrews has been credited with a 4 octave range, and I think she could actually use it, as opposed to just holding a note like a fire siren.

  18. 18.

    Ellison, Ellensburg, Ellers, and Lambchop

    March 29, 2008 at 8:01 am

    Barack Obama can carry nine octaves.

  19. 19.

    Svensker

    March 29, 2008 at 8:05 am

    Even Yma Sumac could only cover about 4 octaves, and though Mariah allegedly can cover about 5 octaves, I think Sumac has a better set of pipes – especially in the baritone range.

    Yma was awesome. Mariah? She’s kinda cute (I like the retro set-up) but she ain’t got no soul, baby. Put her up against a young Aretha and whaddya got? No contest, that’s what.

  20. 20.

    AemJeff

    March 29, 2008 at 8:19 am

    What good is a five or six octave range, if you have absolutely no taste in selecting material? I’ll take Lou Reed over Mariah anytime.

  21. 21.

    jake

    March 29, 2008 at 8:46 am

    What good is a five or six octave range, if you have absolutely no taste in selecting material? I’ll take Lou Reed ^an ice pick to both ears over Mariah anytime.

    Fixed, because talent and no talent should never appear in close proximity.

  22. 22.

    Ole

    March 29, 2008 at 8:47 am

    Back in the days Nina Hagen could cover a lot of ground with her voice too. Don’t know how many octaves though – anyone who has the number stuck in the back if his mind somewhere?

    Regards.

  23. 23.

    dbrown

    March 29, 2008 at 9:05 am

    All I can think of is Glitter (Luckily, only saw the reviews!)… now that was the height of her true talent range

  24. 24.

    Soylent Green

    March 29, 2008 at 10:54 am

    Usually I think Mariah sounds like a fire alarm but that was good singing, dawg.

  25. 25.

    PeterJ

    March 29, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    Georgia Brown, a singer from Brazil has a vocal range spanning 8 octaves. There’s a couple of clips with her on YouTube.

    I prefer Mariah Carey though.

  26. 26.

    PeterJ

    March 29, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    Octaves aren’t everything ;)

  27. 27.

    Whammer

    March 29, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    I was hoping that Yma Sumac would get referenced on this thread, so I wouldn’t need to be the only old guy who remembered her.

    And bobnoxious, that q-tip up the willie thing is no good, you got that right. The worst thing was that when it got done to me it turned out I was clean, just had some kind of psychosomatic guilty thing, made much worse by the q-tip (twice).

  28. 28.

    Dave_Violence

    March 30, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    Unless Mariah Carey takes off all of her clothes, I do not care to see or hear her no matter what. Her music is pop crap and if a million people like it, fine with me.

  29. 29.

    mclaren

    March 30, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    Plus, Yma Sumac was an Inca sun goddess from the depths of the jungles of Peru, as opposed to being plain old Amy Camus from Camden, Ohio.

    Speaking of more important issues: I think we need to change the Threat Level indicators. Threat level RED should now have a zombie symbol, threat level ORANGE, should be a robot threat alert, requiring intermittant civi defense broadcasts warning of “radioactive creatures roaming the streets in terrifying metal skin” and threat level YELLOW should be a pirate warning.

    Threat level GREEN is, of course, a warning of imminent Greenpeace activity.

  30. 30.

    Dayv

    March 31, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    No matter how wide her range, it’s still boring, assembly-line-made pop music.  Thanks, but I’ll pass.

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