Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

The press swings at every pitch, we don’t have to.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

Do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves? (hint, door #2)

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

Come on, man.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

In after Baud. Damn.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Previous Site Maintenance / April Fools

April Fools

by | 73 Comments

This post is in: 

I forgot to do one, again, but if you find any that are particularly clever, link em here so we can enjoy them.

For the gaming nerds, you might want to check out what Blizzard has in store for you this April 1st- the Bard Hero class and Molten Core, the Console game. The Molten Core trailer is pretty awesome, promising ten bosses with 6 unique frames!

Consider this an open thread.

Reader Interactions

73Comments

  7. 7.

    John Cole

    I’m a food blog addict and one of my favorites had a fabulous April Fool’s post this morning:

    Forced to Close

    Non-sewingosity. That was priceless.

    Did you see what she cooked this week? Think she is single?

  9. 9.

    libarbarian

    Found a link at SadlyNo! to a Good Site

    Creationism
    Creationists, on the other hand, believe that man was created instantaneously by a cosmic powered super-being from another dimension. This belief is based on ancient, heavily retranslated writings taken from badly decomposed fragments of scroll found in a series of caves in the middle-east.
    The Creationist Model (at right) explains the advent of human intelligence by ascribing it to divine fiat in the creation of the first humans, Adam and Eve. A major weakness is that it fails to account for the origin of Adam and Eve’s daughters-in-law.

    Where DID they come from?

  12. 12.

    jrg

    I want Starcraft II. If I have to buy a new machine to play it when it’s released, I will.

  14. 14.

    Halteclere

    A colleague yesterday came to work proclaiming that she “would not be made a fool of because it was April 1st”. All of our efforts to tell her that she was a day off were ignored because she wasn’t going to take the bait and be tricked into looking at a calendar.

    Needless to say, she pranked herself!

  16. 16.

    MNPundit

    Considering graphics look better on Consoles, I mean, compare FF8, Square is 100 times better well….

    Me thinks the joke is on Blizzard.

  17. 17.

    demimondian

    Wilfred — you should downgrade to FF3B4 to view the front page. There’s a bug in John’s CSS that is exposed with newer browsers, and he’s never fixed it.

  18. 18.

    tim serbo

    OT, but i thought y’all (sorry, John, i mean yins) would like to know that fafblog is back. this is NOT an april fool’s scam. fafblog.blogspot.com.

  23. 23.

    Jeremy C.

    My fiance just e-mailed me this post from The Knot wedding community ….

    a couple questions…

    From: JennaBush
    JennaBush is not online. Last active: 4/1/2008 12:26:26 PM

    Date: 4/1/2008 at 10:23 AM
    Hi ladies! I need your help!

    1. My dad really wants to do a reading at my wedding. The sanctity of marriage is very important to my family, so I was thinking about having him read the text of the Defense of Marriage Act… so meaningful! But he’s sort of a goober and I’m afraid he might trip up on some of the longer words. It would be safer to have him read a passage from his favorite book: “My Pet Goat.” Do you think that’s OK?

    2. I have a great idea for favors: everyone gets a presidential pardon! But it will be a pain to roll them all up and tie them with tulle in my wedding colors. Am I a b*tch if I ask my bridesmaids to help out with this?

    3. Where can I find red, white, and blue ribbon wands in the DC area?

  25. 25.

    A.Political

    Sooooo, I have a very questionable set of screencaps that illustrate exactly what some people have been saying about some HRC supporting sites, in particular TalkLeft…

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/25243673@N03/sets/72157604347839319/

    This example is a set of screencaps that show a perfectly legitimate post, that is neither offensive nor too off-topic (especially considering that the other posts of a similar nature, but a differing viewpoint were left in place) being scrubbed. Why? Because it seems it was a little too coherent and on point for some at Talkleft to bear leaving there, sort of ruined the echo chamber effect they have going on.

    anyway check it out…

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/25243673@N03/sets/72157604347839319/

  26. 26.

    Caidence (fmr. Chris)

    I saw a good one this morning. There’s this odd site all dressed in pink claiming that Obama is a 100% fraudulent, mean-spirited, Muslim Black Panther and that Mrs. Clinton is a towering, experienced politician that has never sacrificed the good of the public for career safety. You know it’s all bullshit because their main page for “Why Hillary” and “Why not Obama” are N/A.

    It’s an impressively well-done site. The posts go back for days and days, and all of the timestamps were rigged to make it look as such. My only suggestion is a more professional design for next year.

    Don’t forget to read the alt-text on the links!

    /and if you think that I really… then I have a bridge…

  27. 27.

    Caidence (fmr. Chris)

    What’s going on with the main page? It’s expanding like bread dough.

    Wilfred—you should downgrade to FF3B4 to view the front page. There’s a bug in John’s CSS that is exposed with newer browsers, and he’s never fixed it.

    Actually, I was getting that with FF3 Beta 3. Beta 4 is fine, though.

    Demi: downgrade from what? You’re assuming Wilfred uses the nightly builds?

  28. 28.

    kchiker

    Talking about Condi and Obama and race…i only wish this was meant as an April Fool (from The Corner):

    “…the race-baiters inside the black community and among the intellectual left hate America more now than they did when no one would have blamed them for it.”

    They really are reduced to “they hate America”, aren’t they?

  30. 30.

    John Cole

    Sooooo, I have a very questionable set of screencaps that illustrate exactly what some people have been saying about some HRC supporting sites, in particular TalkLeft…

    What has happened to Talk Left this election is a fucking tragedy. It used to be one of my first reads every day, and now I go there while thinking “I wonder what kind of bullshit Armando is spreading today.” The “I support Obama but here he is being a lying sexist pig” schtick got old about 4 months ago.

    And Jeralynn, though I love her, is not much better. They simply have lost their fucking minds.

  31. 31.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    I want Starcraft II.

    I want “World of Starcraft”. Why hasn’t anyone managed to make a really good sci-fi MMORPG?

  32. 32.

    Rick Taylor

    Sooooo, I have a very questionable set of screencaps that illustrate exactly what some people have been saying about some HRC supporting sites, in particular TalkLeft…

    I can’t read the posts, it’s a little too small. Also they remove posts for being off-topic, so without seeing the whole thread, it’s impossible to judge.

  33. 33.

    Jen

    I can’t read the posts, it’s a little too small. Also they remove posts for being off-topic, so without seeing the whole thread, it’s impossible to judge.

    Click the picture. Then click the magnifying glass + icon. It wasn’t off topic.

  35. 35.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Talking about Condi and Obama and race…i only wish this was meant as an April Fool (from The Corner):

    “…the race-baiters inside the black community and among the intellectual left hate America more now than they did when no one would have blamed them for it.”

    They really are reduced to “they hate America”, aren’t they?

    To be fair, Condoleeza Rice isn’t doing anything to help America. And her ignoring the security briefings about Osama Bin Laden led directly the WTC terrorist attack.

    I’m reluctant to describe total incompetence as “hate” but at some point the results make the distictions irrelevant.

  36. 36.

    Ugh

    And Jeralynn, though I love her, is not much better. They simply have lost their fucking minds.

    Yep, she’s become unreadable.

  39. 39.

    tBone

    For those of you shallow enough to still find the idea funny (like me), Vol 2 in the bloody saga of HRC is up. Sadly, no Sinbad this time around.

    [/shameless pimpage]

  40. 40.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    They simply have lost their fucking minds.

    “Irrational” keeps popping up to describe otherwise wholly rational people. We’ve had primary fights online for at least two presidential election cycles without this level of irrationality ever coming into general play.

    The only thing that makes sense is that it’s an outward manifestation of the same sort of private irrationality some folks have about some other folks, something that hasn’t ever been a factor up to this primary.

  41. 41.

    A.Political

    I was an avid reader of TL even before Libby came and went, back before this incarnation of her site, but the hypocrisy is killing me.

  43. 43.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    For those of you shallow enough to still find the idea funny (like me), Vol 2 in the bloody saga of HRC is up. Sadly, no Sinbad this time around.

    You know I am.

    Going now.

  45. 45.

    pharniel

    i totally wanat to be a bard and play the molten core game.

    that’d be hawtsum.

    also for those into it, NWoD Shadows over Iceland was released….
    this is pure win.

  47. 47.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    For those of you shallow enough to still find the idea funny (like me), Vol 2 in the bloody saga of HRC is up. Sadly, no Sinbad this time around.

    3 AM in the Belfast Hills !!!! Great fucking intro.

  48. 48.

    tBone

    Like your response to the first comment, triplesteak.

    You totally missed a chance to use “cubesteak,” you know.

  49. 49.

    Jeff

    The Christian Right and far-left feminists hate military wives, calling them prostitutes.

    Surrogates challenge our most basic ideas about motherhood, and call into question what we’ve always thought of as an unbreakable bond between mother and child. It’s no wonder many conservative Christians decry the practice as tampering with the miracle of life, while far-left feminists liken gestational carriers to prostitutes who degrade themselves by renting out their bodies.

    /sarcasm

    Several agencies reported a significant increase in the number of wives of soldiers and naval personnel applying to be surrogates since the invasion of Iraq in 2003.

  50. 50.

    Jen

    You totally missed a chance to use “cubesteak,” you know.

    It is well known that women are bad at math.

  51. 51.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Jeez Tbone, that was better than the first one. You need to put up a tip jar.

  52. 52.

    tBone

    Jeez Tbone, that was better than the first one. You need to put up a tip jar.

    Thanks! You shouldn’t encourage me though. The HRC campaign is Serious Business.

    There’s a tip jar in there somewhere, btw; I am teh suck at Dkos fundamentals.

  53. 53.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Only thing I’d like to have seen different was Bono being killed. I like the way you had all the stars die around her in volume 1 and I think it woulda tied back to this well. She coulda saved Bono but then the baddie got off a lucky shot after falling and clipped Bono in the neck and they could have had the same conversation with him dying, head in her lap, her mopping his forehead with her scarf. And like I said, Everyone Dies Around Hillary is a nice secondary theme in the war journals.

  55. 55.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    What is going on?!?!? It’s been hours since they finished the update yet I still can’t log on!!! Tremors. . .sweating. . .withdrawl beginning. . .

  57. 57.

    tBone

    Only thing I’d like to have seen different was Bono being killed.

    This one was a little light on gratuitous celebrity deaths, I’ll grant you that. If it makes you feel better, imagine that one of the terrorists was Colm Meaney.

  58. 58.

    Darkness

    A major weakness is that it fails to account for the origin of Adam and Eve’s daughters-in-law.

    Where DID they come from?

    Gods you are giving me bad flashbacks to when I was five and I asked this of the nun at catholic school. The memories after that are blanked out.

    Relatedly, I also hate perfect penmanship and take great joy in writing as messily as possible so that only I can read it. Freedom may be nothing left to lose, but it is also being old enough to be out of catholic school

    …something about metal edged rulers too, but it escapes me now.

    As to the first question about good pranks, here’s a good one that actually made the market go up today

  60. 60.

    ThymeZone

    I guess it’s time to confess that I have been writing myiq2xu, Dug Jay, and Jen.

    I apologize to all for annoying the fuck out of you with these characters. I had a skin condition and just needed something to keep my fingers busy.

  62. 62.

    wobbly

    This is also funny, believe it or not:

    Clinton’s April Fools’ Joke

    By BETH FOUHY, Associated Press WriterTue Apr 1, 1:44 PM ET

    Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton walked somberly into a press conference Tuesday and stood before microphones. Reporters tensed, sensing something big might be afoot.

    “This has been a very hard fought race,” she said. “We clearly need to do something so that our party and our people can make the right decision. So, I have a proposal.”

    The tension grew. Reporters shifted in their seats. Was she dropping out of the race? Offering to join rival Barack Obama as his running mate?

    April Fools!

    “Today, I am challenging Senator Obama to a bowl-off,” Clinton said, provoking relieved laughs from the assembled scribes.

    Clinton carried on, making reference to Obama’s disastrous outing at a Pennsylvania bowling alley Saturday.

    “A bowling night. Right here in Pennsylvania. The winner take all,” she went on. “I’ll even spot him two frames.”

    “It is time for his campaign to get out of the gutter and allow all the pins to be counted. I’m prepared to play this game all the way to the tenth frame. When this game is over, the American people will know that when that phone rings at 3 a.m., they’ll have a president ready to bowl on day one.”

    “Let’s strike a deal and go bowling for delegates. We don’t have a moment to spare, because it’s already April Fool’s Day. Happy April Fool’s Day.”….

    I got 99 problems and one of them ain’t the bitch!

  63. 63.

    OriGuy

    “Today, I am challenging Senator Obama to a bowl-off,” Clinton said

    So for this one, Obama, who is left-handed, will use a left-handed ball.

  64. 64.

    HeartlandLiberal

    One of my hourly computer support staff got a phone call in a department this morning. Someone’s mouse would not work. My staff member tried the mouse, nope, it seemed dead. Then they flipped it over.

    Some co-worker had put tape over the optical eye on the bottom of the mouse.

    Made my April 1 Day.

  65. 65.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Today, I am challenging Senator Obama to a bowl-off,” Clinton said

    Hopefully Obama responds with a blow-off. (ba-dummmp)

    Thank you ladies and gents. I’m here all week, be sure to tip yer waitress.

  66. 66.

    MNPundit

    ust Some Fuckhead Says:

    Today, I am challenging Senator Obama to a bowl-off,” Clinton said

    Hopefully Obama responds with a blow-off. (ba-dummmp)

    Thank you ladies and gents. I’m here all week, be sure to tip yer waitress.

    Me thinks you should die in volume 3.

  69. 69.

    Prospero

    I want “World of Starcraft”. Why hasn’t anyone managed to make a really good sci-fi MMORPG?

    EVE Online? It’s not for everybody though…

  71. 71.

    slightly_peeved

    Blizzard are working on a “next-gen” MMO at the moment – I’m guessing World of Starcraft myself. They never finished the Starcraft:Ghost game, but it isn’t listed by Blizzard as one of their failed projects.

    Oh – and Youtube’s featured videos all actually directed to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” for a while there on April Fool’s Day.

  73. 73.

    montysano

    Re: April Fools.

    Our local wingnut talk radio, who I occasionally listen to on the drive home, pulled a brilliant prank.

    They announced that that Tampa Bay Rays were moving to little old Huntsville, Alabama, to play in a new domed stadium. The stadium was to be payed for by placing parking meters at every retail parking space in town. They had interviews with local pols, with the manager of our farm league baseball team, the whole nine yards.

    I bought it hook, line, and sinker. Gotta give credit where it’s due; a very well done prank.

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