Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
by John Cole| 61 Comments
This post is in: Science & Technology, Assholes
Every time my internet goes out, which is something that is happening more and more often, and I call your 1-800-COMCAST helpline and select that I am having trouble with my internet and am then told by the automated voice to seek help at http://comcast.net if I do not want to hold for an operator, I die a little on the inside.
Please make that stop.
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[…] Posted by Greg on April 9, 2008 Poor John. I feel his pain. Every time my internet goes out, which is something that is happening more and more often, and I call your 1-800-COMCAST helpline and select that I am having trouble with my internet and am then told by the automated voice to seek help at http://comcast.net if I do not want to hold for an operator, I die a little on the inside. […]
Zifnab
Lulz. One day Verizon is going to install FiSO in my area, and Comcast will go the way of the ugly, stupid, lard-assed dinosaur that it is. For the time being, I will continue to use that company as living proof of how Capitalism doesn’t work.
Jamey
There is good news, John: Steely McBeam might be headed to the Ironbar Hilton:
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/breaking/s_561456.html
Grumpy Code Monkey
Perhaps Comcast has got a hold of CompUSA’s Customer Appreciation Bats?
Jamey
Zif: Comcast gets money from you (or your ma) each month, which is proof that capitalism DOES work.
Jen
I talked my dad out of hiring a lawyer to sue Comcast in small claims court for $109. He was willing to take the hit.
Krista
They all do that. I get the same damn thing with Bell/Aliant if my internet goes down. To be fair, though, as far as they’re aware, your problem with your internet might just be that pages are loading slow, or that some pages won’t load, which doesn’t necessarily preclude you from checking out their website.
mikesdak
From all that that I’ve read, I’m happy we don’t have Comcast here in South Dakota. I have to say that the cable company here isn’t too bad as far as outages. Of course, here they have to compete with the small satellite dishes as well as microwave-based wireless cable.
Caidence (fmr. Chris)
you have it easy.
The connection to the local closet is on the fritz. Inclement weather causes intermittent failures.
When I call, if there’s a wait time, an automated voice guides me through what I did wrong. (I have half a graduate degree in computer networking. I know my equipment.)
“Have you unplugged a re-plugged in the cable modem ?”
“YES!”
“OK. Well, we’re going to do it anyways”
Here’s the kicker: I have to play along, otherwise they take the silence as losing the caller, and hang up.
hate it hate it hate it.
Velvet Elvis
Get speakeasy
It’s a bit pricy but they let you do whatever you want with your connection and have great customer service.
http://www.speakeasy.net/
Jen
Time Warner Cable here, never any problem with the service for me, but they might as well charge you your firstborn. And they perpetually, incrementally, raise the rates. It’s kind of like college tuition. Actually, I could probably go to community college for less.
smiley
Maybe they think you’ll go to an internet cafe or steal from a neighbor and leave them alone. Or maybe they’re just stoopid.
Jay C
Forget it, John, it’s just another one of those unavoidable annoyances of Modern Life: naturally, the recorded exhortation to check out the provider’s website makes little or no sense when you’re calling because your fucking internet service is on the blink; – but then again, how would a recording know that?
Caidence (fmr. Chris)
I started at $89, 3 years ago. $140 now. Sometime soon I’m going to have a field day with threatening the cancellation dept.
TheFountainHead
Totally pwned.
Punchy
I just steal my wireless from one of my anonymous neighbors. S/he seems to pay the bills regularly, cuz I aint had on outtage yet.
Need to find out if everyone in my building re-upped their leases…
Davebo
Cable modems in general and Comcast in particular are highly unreliable in my experience.
While my DSL is slightly slower, in 9 years I’ve been down a total of about 8 hours over 3 occurrances.
Ninerdave
I’ve been happily comcast free for three years. Don’t miss their shoddy service and non-existant “customer support”.
Go with a local ISP, you’ll be happier.
Caidence (fmr. Chris)
Oh. I never qualified this. This is Time Warner Cable I’m talking about. At least it is for Manhattan.
Original Lee
http://www.comcastmustdie.com/
We feel your pain, John. Check out the above website to vent with your fellow sufferers.
One year ago today, I got FiOS and was able to kiss Comcast goodbye. They retaliated by sending my final bill to collections before they mailed it, with the net result that the interest rates on all of my credit cards skyrocketed under the universal default rules. I’m still trying to straighten the mess out, but I smile when I’m on hold, because it hurts less than dealing with Comcast.
sparky
i think the only way to decide is to know the condition of the local infrastructure. i had verizon dsl that was beyond horrible because the phone network had last been upgraded in 1928. and this was in NYC. earthlink (via twc) was fine once cable came in. Southern Bell dsl in florida works pretty well–but it’s a completely different delivery system (microwave). comcast is pretty damn horrible everywhere, and i had to call them to get them to send the correct software to their own modem. my favorite was when they disconnected me because they assumed the account was off due to the crappy job the last installer left on the pole. oh, and the contractor got $10 for turning off each line. then we’d call comcast and another contractor got $20 for turning it on again. if capitalism survives the corporate state it will be a miracle.
Notorious P.A.T.
Don’t you just love our country’s internet policies?
pharniel
They’re resetting the node your modem hooks too. they just tell you the reboot fixed it to keep people from calling in.
we have quite a few refugies from the comcast technical support call centre here at the HellDesk.
They were being required to meet sales quotas.
Comshaft looks like they arn’t doing so well.
the really horrible thing? When It was Media One we had the best fucking internet available at the time for extra cheap. even an unlimited full group usenet server.
then comcast came in and fucked up the infrastructure and routing.
i’m going uverse as soon as i can, and urging my mother to do so (she has to be home for a day for the full install). fo her it’s mroe channels, way slower internet (because her e-mail doesn’t need to be blazing fast. and i want her to take forever to shop at amazon before the old house fills with books)
anyone else want comshaft tech support secrets let me know. tehre’s no love lost here
evie
When you finally get a technician to come out, ask for the direct number of his area supervisor. I did this and the next time the internet went out, I called the supervisor instead of the 800# and he sent a guy to my place within an hour. They’ll do this for recurring issues that they cannot figure out.
Also, when you schedule a tech, make sure you tell them you don’t want a contractor — i.e., that you want a full-time Comcast employee. That’s the only way the supervisor phone number bit will work.
Good luck. There is little more frustrating than dealing with Comcast and having no internet access!
Mr Furious
Been using Comcast high-speed for seven years and have hardly ever had a problem…
Do they just roll the cable out on the ground in West Virginia or something? WTF?
paradox
Comcast has been a disaster for me. I would have totally lost my mind except a neighbor broadcasts wireless in the clear, so I hitch until it comes back.
I told them they were the dweebs of the universe. It’s something. Right?
Becca
I’m in India now, but back when I was in the south SF Bay area, CA, we eventually got Comcast cable.
First, I do have to admit it worked way, WAY better than the previous PacBell DSL (which seemed to be down more than it was up…I got used to staring at the hypnotic blinking glow of the synchronization LED failing to connect…).
But yeah — I simply could not believe the sheer assholedness (is that a word, apparently not) of instructing people who have no Internet connection TO GO ON THE FRACKIN INTERNET TO GET INFORMATION ABOUT THEIR OUTAGE!
No, Mr. Furious — you’re just lucky. In other parts of the country, they pay undertrained guys to install it badly, and then don’t bother to help customers whose cables are nicked, over-long, under-amplified or just not working. Capiche? Most of us hate paying full time for service we get only part of the time.
The Other Steve
Comcast is almost as bad as Johm McCain’s advertising people.
Comcast Sux
Oh how cable companies suck. Just moved and got the local cable with HD. I got the HD package and HD box. Do I get all the HD channels? Nope, you have to also buy another package called HD plus to get everything. I was also thinking of getting another digital box for a room, then I read that it is a 25 dollar charge to install (or as I call it, plug it in). Having to pay extra to pay them extra… ticks me off.
Is satellite better? Anyone got Uverse with ATT? I am thinking of going over there.
OHH, can the next “bitching” topic be about ATM service fees???
linda
time-warner has the same automated message when you call that your cable and internet are out. then you can punch thru the menu to listen where after several minutes on hold you will finally get an actual live person — who, before you are even allowed to utter a word — tries to sell you on the sweet package deal if you include digital phone service….
uh, no.
Michael
If you ever do get to a tech support technician, don’t make him angry. He’ll tell your dad what you do online or use your credit card.
– – –
Outsourced Comcast Tech Goes Vigilante On Xbox Cheaters
But in the process abuses Comcast support systems, violating user privacy…
A Convergsys support technician outsourced by Comcast may have gone a little overboard in a quest for righteous videogame vengeance. After getting packet flooded (a networking trick that essentially DDoS’s a user’s Xbox) by some fellow gamers on Microsoft’s Xbox Live! service, the rep decided to use Comcast support systems to wage war on the perpetrator, a Comcast customer.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
I have Comcast’s Triple Play – Internet, Cable and Phone – and I’m pretty satisfied with my service. My MLS Direct Kick package didn’t work last weekend, but other than that everything has been working well.
DFD
My cable just switched over to Comcast from Insight. The prices are going up and my BF2 gaming is already suffering from lag. I’m not optimistic about the quality of service I should expect.
Badtux
To be fair, some of us do have alternate service in case Comcast goes out. I travel a lot, for example, so I have Bluetooth PAM (Phone As Modem) on my cell phone. It’s slow, but it’s certainly sufficient to get onto comcast.net.
That said, the only thing worse than Comcast cable Internet is Cocks. Oops, Cox. Dadburn it, driving down the level of discourse already!
– Badtux the Rude Penguin
pharniel
Mr. Furious, you are, as I recall, around the metro-detroit/aa area.
if you are in the same home when media one put stuff in, or your home was hooked up in that area it was done by employes of the cable company and installed by them, not a contractor.
my mom’s house had very little problem that wasn’t node and network related (i.e. server fall down go boom)
the apartment in northville, oto, basically got re-wired when we moved out (it was determined that the ass-old lines were never updated properly, thus my 8month lost battle would not have to be waged by the next tennant)
suemick
We suffered with impossible Comcast service for many years. The dealbreaker was one hot summer when our internet went out every time the temperature rose over 90 degrees. My husband, an engineer, checked the connections inside the house and quickly deduced that the problem was most likely a connection in the box outside. But would Comcast send a technician that could check the connection on the street? Absolutely not. Each time I called, they would schedule a service appt. & the technician would show up and check all the same things in the house, every time assuring me that nothing was wrong. I patiently explained the symptoms and told them we needed someone to check outside, but to no avail. As this drama continued, I got used to a protocol, whereby I plugged in a phone modem as soon as the cable went down. The third (or fourth) tech team showed up one day when I was well used to this protocol and announced in a triumphant chorus that they had finally isolated our problem – we had the cable modem disconnected and a phone modem hooked up, they declared. I pushed them out the door, refused to sign their service ticket & shanghaied a Comcast road repair crew to get them to fix the problem. And then, as soon as tractable, we signed up for DSL.
Sarcastro
Welcome to my hell.
“Are you going to fix my e-mail? I sent you an e-mail telling you it wasn’t working!”
But my personal fave is the always immanent Windows error message:
“Please contact your systems administrator for assistance”
I AM the sysadmin!!!!
bago
You administer the internet?
ImJohnGalt
Rusty Shackleford:
My MLS Direct Kick consists of hopping with my wife on our Vespa and riding the 5 minutes to BMO Field where my midfield seats are, 13 rows up. Granted we have to watch TFC play, but what a great environment – 20,000 fans, every game sold out, most of them immigrants who really understand the game. Even tho’ our side plays for shite, it’s the best they’re going to get this side of the pond, and they chant their hearts out.
The Other Steve
Yeah, prices went up when we did the TimeWarner -> comcast switch.
In terms of BF2 gaming… first, I can and will kick your ass. But more importantly, I had a lot of connection problems when they first made the switch, but it stabilized over time. My ping in BF2 is generally around 40-50ms and is pretty good.
which is, of course, why I’m going to kick your ass! Unless you fly… I can’t fly. I’m horrible at it. ;-)
ThymeZone
What kind of cable modem do you have John? Do you rent it from them, or did you buy it?
I went through this sort of thing for two years before I found out that the Linksys modem I was using was known to Cox to be problematic with their DOCSIS 2.0 upgrade.
I went immediately to Best Buy and bought a new Motorola Surfboard modem, and my problems went away that day. I lost connection once since, and on that day, it turned out that Cox was reporting area-wide outages of 1-2 hours at a time due to their own maintenance activities. Other than that, not one minute of downtime in a month.
I bought the SBG900 which is the Surfboard Modem and wireless gateway in one box, and it was the easiest and quickest home networking setup I ever did. The thing is a dream. You get one wired connection and a Wireless G hotspot that is a breeze to configure, secure, and use.
ThymeZone
* Mister Zone owns no stock in any of the companies mentioned in his comment.
Punchy
Maybe you could take a gun with you when you go to confront them Comcast jokers…do they have offices in Florida?
Really, this may easily be the stupidest law ever passed in the history of stupid laws.
Xanthippas
Dude, stop wasting your time with the 800 #. Google the email or phone #’s for some Comcast executives or the Board of Directors (they’re out there, I assure you) and give them a ring/send them an email. The response will be much faster, I assure you.
Martin
Everything changed after iPhone*.
* Martin has a metric assload of Apple stock that he plans on retiring off of.
tBone
I’ve been on Earthlink (through Time-Warner tubes) for 8 years, and they are generally rock-solid. Had an outage of 6-7 hours a few weeks ago, and that’s by far the longest down time I’ve ever experienced with them.
My brother is on Comcast and absolutely hates them, which seems to be a widely-held sentiment.
Tim
My Experience has changed as of late. I live in Portland (OR) and my Comcast Internet was lightyears better than the DSL line I had before that. Been with them since 2004, but just in the last few weeks I get intermittent outages usually only lasting a few minutes each. This similar to what other people are getting? Only seems to happen during the late afternoon and early evening.
Conservatively Liberal
I have Charter Cable for my broadband, and other than being too fucking expensive it is a pretty reliable service. When I called in the past, I always got pissed with the forced voice mail diagnostics (turn off your computer, flip it 360, sprinkle magic dust, sneeze three times, etc). Finally I went off on one of the warm bodies I was able to get on the line, and I told him I service computers and networks for a living and that their system was a waste of my time.
The guy told me a little secret; when I am prompted to ‘do some tests while waiting for assistance’ (a warm body on the line), the guy told me to say “Agent” three times. So the next time I called, I did it and the voice system said “Ok, I will forward you to the next agent, please hold”. Sure enough, a warm body got on the line immediately.
I would bet that some other providers use a similar system, so you might want to ask about it.
Blue Raven
I’ve been using PacBell/AT&T DSL for the last several years and love it to bits. Almost no downtime at all. I still am in thrall to Comcast for my cable TV, though, and they’re jacking the rates when a butterfly sneezes in Argentina. But if I were a good girl and switched to one of their combo packages, it’d all be so much cheaper. Hah. I’m dumping my Verizon phone to switch to AT&T at next opportunity, then Comcast can bite me when I switch to DirecTV.
ComcastCares
Thank you for the feedback! Actually thank everyone for the feedback. I will make sure to share this.
Have a great day!
Frank Eliason
Tax Analyst
Don’t you have to click your heels together at the same time?
Hell, it got Dorothy & Toto the Fuck out of Kansas…or maybe it was the Fuck back INTO Kansas.
Well, some shit like that.
Michael D.
When you call Comcast, press the number that says you want to order new service. You get through much more quickly.
Mike35
I so feel your pain. Comcast is the pits when it comes to customer service. It took no less then 5 techs to figure out the line into the house had been caught in the door of the box and subsequently struck by lightning. And then we had the net going out every time someone called the house, like it was dial-up.
Yeah, Verizon FIOS ftw.
binky
The Consumerist documents the atrocities (including unlimited service that isn’t really unlimited). They generally post executive emails in case you need to take the problem up the food chain.
LiberalTarian
Sigh. Graduating means leaving student housing, and losing my 100.0 Mbps transmit rate with nary a problem. Oh well, I guess I’m online too much anyway.
Conservatively Liberal
I had the same kind of problem about two years ago. Every late afternoon for three (hot) days in a row, the internet connection (but not the TV signal) would quit working until that evening. I knew it was outside as my internal network was working fine up to the cable modem. The next day, I watered the lawn and while the sprinkler was running the cable stayed up (the water was spraying over the main box in the yard). I turned the water off that evening, and the next day the cable went out again. I figured out that it had to be something heat related, so I turned the sprinklers back on and sure enough, about a half hour later the cable was working fine.
I called Charter and told them of my discovery. They came out the next day, pulled the main box cover at the corner of the property, cut the end off of our cable feed and put a new end on it.
Problem solved. Living on the coast means that things made of metal corrode faster…lol
Kify
I discovered the same thing as Evie…I just drive down to my local comcast office and complain (usually for myself and neighbors:))and the tech comes out the same day. This after the 1-800 folks told me it would take a week!!!
As for money…damn they are expensive!!! If the wi-fi was more stable coming from the neibor, I would probably drop ’em like a hot potato. I do have to note that AT&T was WORSE if you can believe it!
baldheadeddork
John – we had endless problems with Comcast that no tech could solve.
I finally got in the attic where all the cable lines were split and checked the connections. About half, including the line to the office, were loose. Ten minutes with a wrench and we haven’t had a single problem in two years.
If you’re having repeated internet outages, snowy TV signal on the low channels, and the Comcast idiots keep claiming that you have a good signal – you might want to make sure the connectors are tight.
Big E
Comcast is history…. they suck,
..they are soooooo very LAME..
their tek support once told me that the reason I was having problems was that Verizon electricity was ‘leaking’ out of Verizon’s wires……Even tho’ I told them there wasn’t any Verzion wires or FIOS service at that time in my area they insisted that was the cause…
Verizon FIOS = better everything..
my sympathies to all who still toil under
Comcrap
pto892
I have suffered under Comcast since the Adelphia buyout, but the thing is the actual cable lines were laid down by the long gone GS Communications. My problems haven’t been the lines themselves, but mainly DNS related-Comcast must have the worse DNS service in the USA. John, switch your DNS setup to use Opendns and you’ll at least eliminate one source of error. The modem does make a difference, I have had nothing but good results using Motorola Surfboards for the past 5 years. Otherwise, yep Comcast sucks big time but I need broadband for work so I’m stuck with it since there is no other opton. If Verizon offered FIOS in my area I would switch in a heartbeat. Trade one corporate master for another.
The Populist
AT&T sucks. I won’t pay to use any company that willfully spied on me and my neighbors.
Time Warner sucks, but so far they haven’t let me down.