Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
by Tim F| 50 Comments
This post is in: Republican Stupidity
* Democrats stood up to the president on wiretapping and held firm. Republicans went mad with glee, ran a media blitz attacking the defeatocrats, staked a special election on the issue and lost. Now the GOP is giving up entirely.
* Apparently there is a way for a GOP loyalist to fail so spectacularly that nobody will hire him. Heckuva job, Gonzo!
It feels like I fell asleep and woke up somewhere else.
Comments are closed.
[…] Posted by Phoenix Woman on April 12, 2008 There are some people who need a bit of cheering up. This post is for them, courtesy of John Cole’s blogging partner Tim F. over at Balloon Juice: Things That Weren’t Supposed To Happen By: Tim F. April 12, 2008 at 5:36 pm * Democrats stood up to the president on wiretapping and held firm. Republicans went mad with glee, ran a media blitz attacking the defeatocrats, staked a special election on the issue and lost. Now the GOP is giving up entirely. * Apparently there is a way for a GOP loyalist to fail so spectacularly that nobody will hire him. Heckuva job, Gonzo! It feels like I fell asleep and woke up somewhere else. […]
Mark
Is he unemployable because he enabled and participated in war crimes, general abuse of power and overarching mendacity or because in may well be the most incompetent lawyer in the country?
mellowjohn
you mean he can’t even get a job at the american enterpise institute? what ever happened to wingnut welfare?
incertus
Mark,
He’s unemployable because he’s incompetent and brown. It’s the combination that’s kicking his ass.
Chris
What are the odds now Gonzo ends up an analyst on Fox News if he can’t get a job at a law firm?
Crusty Dem
I refuse to believe that even the idiot Gonzo will remain unemployed for long, tho it would be nice… If Monica Goodling and Rove’s other moron minions aren’t unemployed, so I doubt Gonzo will remain so.
Maybe Berkeley Law will fire Yoo and find themselves longing for a high end wingnut.
TenguPhule
Our long national nightmare is almost over.
Splitting Image
“It feels like I fell asleep and woke up somewhere else.”
You’re not in Kansas anymore?
RSA
Fighting bears while wearing golden underwear?
I’m a bit at a loss to understand the lack of caving on the part of the Democrats. Could it have been accidental competence, or were people working hard behind the scenes?
A Different Matt
I agree with the sentiments above: some lobbyist/media/thinktank entity will come calling before long. Rove’s as hackish as they come, known solely for being mean and vindictive, yet he found a job in broadcast opinioning. The direct mail guy who built a reputation by getting people fired is opining about politics on tv! If he can get hired by someone other than Bush, so too can Alberto.
Surely Gonzalez brings something to the table. He either wants too much money or too prestigious a position. As soon as he’s willing to settle a little on his expectations, he’ll have plenty of offers.
Delia
Maybe the big problem was all Gonzo could say under pressure was variations on “I can’t remember.”
Give John Yoo his due. He can argue his way out of a paper bag.
cbear
I hear there’s going to be some employment opportunities down in Texas when they start building that bigass fence to keep the the other Gonzales’s from over-running the country.
“Hey Gonzo, get your lazy ass over here with that barbed wire—you ain’t working in the Whitehouse no more, boy.”
-or-
“Hey shithead, that lettuce ain’t gonna pick itself.”
Fuck that lowlife little scum.
Mark S.
The reason you hire a guy like Gonzo is for his connections, not his legal mind. This means one of two things: either these Washington lawyers know he’s going to be indicted, or they’re pretty damn sure there isn’t going to be a Republican in the White House next year.
BH Buck
Thanks for that, cbear. Now my sides are hurting… LOL!
Incertus
I’m telling you, don’t overestimate the power of racism in the Republican party. You can always find a gig if you’re incompetent and white, but if you’re any other color, you better be competent and be willing to work for less. Poor Gonzo is incompetent and brown, which means he gets no more Republican love.
maxbaer (not the original)
Too bad for Gonzo that those law firms are actually in business to succeed, unlike the Bush Administration. There’s always the faculty of Regency U, though.
OT, but, is this just another day at the office for Bushco?
frogspawn
From the NYT article:
This kind of reads like “he was openly criticized by the FBI for that series of bank robberies”.
I thought this sort of thing was prosecutable, but apparently not.
Fortunately, I haven’t run out of beer yet.
frogspawn
Yes.
cbear
No problem, Buck, I’m a firm believer in ridiculing these cretins at every opportunity.
IMHO, the biggest mistake we have made as progressives has been in trying to intellectually engage these cretins. Fuck ’em. I don’t even try anymore, it’s an exercise in futility trying to reason with someone who believes that torturing another human being will somehow make you safer…or that allowing a venal little fuckboy like GW to slaughter untold thousands in the name of liberty and democracy makes the slightest bit of sense.
Ridicule is a powerful thing and I wish our side would just laugh scornfully every time some gooper trots out his world-view.
“Say WHAT? You think giving an $11 billion dollar tax break to the oil companies is going to magically “trickle down” to a stupid fuck like you? You better keep moving Jerky, before a stray cat comes along and buries your dumb ass.”
These scrotes need to be laughed out of the public square.
(Nice site you have BTW.)
priscianus jr
Come on, it’s not racism this time. The blame belongs to him alone. Any Republican firm could theoretically look good by hiring their token Mexican who just happens to be former AG of the USA. Except for one thing: The guy was a total, utter fuckup, in every possible way. And, I would suppose, particularly in the eyes of the legal profession itself. What I’m trying to say is, the real reason nobody’s hiring him is that he is (a) very famous — as in infamous — and therefore any firm that hires him will certainly be noticed for that; but nobody WANTS to be noticed for that because he makes any firm that hires him LOOK BAD. Period.
frogspawn
Oh, and I should issue a *Spew Alert* for those who would click on maxbaer’s link.
A teaser..
srv
I hope Condi ends up being as much a pariah.
cleek
oh, not in every way: he remains a loyal Bushie. when W’s term is over, Abu Gonzalez will find new work. maybe he can run the concessions at the GWB Presidential
LibraryDude Ranch.cbear
I say we throw the little ratfuck bastard in the Rio Grande.
If he drowns, we grant him clemency. If he floats, we haul his ass out, try him for treason, and hang him.
frogspawn
Yea, George’ll take care of his boy. He will delight visitors to the Hog Farm with his obsequious manner and his little paper hat.
BH Buck
cbear, thanks!
And I agree with your philosophy. I am friggin’ tired of talking facts and logic to these people, only to be met with that cold, blank stare of stupidity (or worse, be bombarded with Rush Limbaugh talking points – repeatedly, ad nauseam, to death’s bitter end.)
Unfortunately, you can’t smack the ignorance outta people. (But boy if you could!)
;-)
RSA
Speaking of non-white Republican fuckups, I wonder what Claude Allen is doing these days?
Reverend Spooner
This is terrible news for the Democrats!
cbear
I dunno, bathroom attendant at the Young Republicans headquarters?
Southerndemocrat
“Say WHAT? You think giving an $11 billion dollar tax break to the oil companies is going to magically “trickle down” to a stupid fuck like you? You better keep moving Jerky, before a stray cat comes along and buries your dumb ass.”
That has to be one of the funniest things I have seen in a while.
jake
Fixed.
Please, God and Baby Jesus, please let John Bonehead go on TV and solemnly declare that taxing the shit out of multimillionaires is a bad thing.
cbear
Sure you can—I’d suggest a 36.oz Louisville Slugger and some good quality batting gloves.
You might want to get some pine tar also, just in case you catch a bunch of them together. You wouldn’t want to lose your grip and accidentally injure an innocent bystander.
Bibblesnæð
Ha ha!
Alberto Gonzales can’t even get a job at the Heritage Institute or the American Enterprise Institute! That’s the funniest damned thing I’ve seen in a week. And the most justiciocious, too!
Notorious P.A.T.
Unless he wants to make a living speaking badly about other people of color (ie Thomas Sowell, Michelle Malkin, Dinesh DSouza, Armstrong Williams, etc.). The Republican party loves people like that.
Notorious P.A.T.
Oh, I forgot: Speaking for me only
The Other Steve
Speaking for me only.
This is very sad. When an incompetent boob can’t get work in America, our economy is truly in the toilet.
BH Buck
LOL @ cbear!
I’ll remember to do that. ;-)
Phoenix Woman
Only by trying to pretend the bag doesn’t exist.
Glen
Short response: YESSS!
Longer response: ‘scuse me while I change my shorts.
Garrigus Carraig
Speaking for me only
An object lesson for swarthy folks trying to suck up to the Republican Party. I wonder if he isn’t muttering God damn America! through his bitter, bitter tears. Oh happy day! If he lived to be 99, then choked on a blueberry, that wouldn’t suck.
GC+6
Nancy Irving
I wonder whether Bush isn’t p*ssed off at him for embarrassing the administration–and Bush personally–by his pathetic testimony. Otherwise, wouldn’t Bush give him a job at the presidential library or something? Bush is letting him twist in the wind.
Ellison, Ellensburg, Ellers, and Lambchop
Greenwald: “The article goes on to quote GOP operatives as claiming that they’re not giving up on FISA altogether.”
The Hill: “Michael Steel, a spokesman for Boehner, stressed that the pivot away from security and earmarks was not an indicator that the GOP was giving up pushing for passage of FISA or comprehensive earmark reform. Republicans have noted they have successfully peeled off centrist Democrats during procedural votes on FISA and earmark reform.”
Tim’s Translation: “Now the GOP is giving up entirely.”
Logical conclusion: Tim still can’t read.
TenguPhule
And so on and so forth.
Tim F.
Of course the GOP says that they’re not “giving up entirely.” Saying that would be humiliating. If they’re transitioning to “other priorities” and don’t plan to keep fighting on the topic then legislatively speaking, assuming that the Democrats don’t suddenly go bonkers and bring up an amnesty bill for them, they’ve given up entirely. It amazes me how much stock modern “conservatives” put in the noise that comes out when politicians move their lips.
RSA
Like, for example, “We don’t torture.”
PaulB
Dear heart, if they couldn’t get it then, when all the pressure was on, they aren’t going to get it later. Of course they’re pretending that they haven’t given up. What else is new?
Cain
Man, when I said that with that little look of disgust and now it’s confirmed that he was completely lying about it.. I’m filled with disgust. I knew he was lying then, but for him to come out now and boldly admit it. He needs to go on a permanent vacation to The Hague. Barring that, have an arrest warrant in every town/city/state/country so that he can’t step out of crawford for the rest of his life without ending up in jail.
I still can’t believe he’s getting away with it, scot free.
cain
zuzu
My glee at reading the linked Gonzo article in the NYT was tempered by the fact that Ann Althouse is featured in a “blogging heads” video on the sidebar of the page.
How depressing to see that idiot given space on the NYT website. Discussing Hillary Clinton and sexism no less.
Interestingly, she still looks/sounds drunk even without a wine glass in sight.
zuzu
My glee at reading the linked Gonzo article in the NYT was tempered by the fact that Ann Althouse is featured in a “blogging heads” video on the sidebar of the page.
How depressing to see that idiot given space on the NYT website. Discussing Hillary Clinton and sexism no less.
Interestingly, she still looks/sounds drunk even without a wine glass in sight.
zuzu
My glee at reading the linked Gonzo article in the NYT was tempered by the fact that Ann Althouse is featured in a “blogging heads” video on the sidebar of the page.
How depressing to see that idiot given space on the NYT website. Discussing Hillary Clinton and sexism no less.
Interestingly, she still looks/sounds drunk even without a wine glass in sight.