Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

In my day, never was longer.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

You cannot shame the shameless.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

T R E 4 5 O N

I was promised a recession.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

No one could have predicted…

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

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36Comments

  2. 2.

    JGabriel

    Congratulations, Michael. Best wishes to the newborn girl and her soon to be, if not already, exhausted parents.

    .

  5. 5.

    demkat620

    That would be easier if the baby was closer. I am in Atlanta. She is in eastern Canada!

    They have planes you know. And trains, too! Maybe you should call that Obama guy…ah fuck it. I kid because my third niece was born this week and it has been so crazy in our family and the hospital was a mini baby prison ward that I haven’t seen her yet.

    Congrats and I hope they send you lots of pics. But the new baby smell, that’s the best.

  9. 9.

    Ivan Ivanovich Renko

    Congrats, Unk!

    Now go forth, sure in the knowledge that extreme spoilage is your new mission.

  11. 11.

    Jackie

    As an uncle it is your DUTY to spoil niece with things mom and dad would NEVER do or buy for their daughter, but which niece would LOVE! I know, I’m the mom of a spoiled by auntie daughter.

    I also just learned I’m about to be a first-time granny of same daughter. The fun thing about being a granny is I get to spoil my grandbaby as much as mommy-to-be’s auntie spoiled her! :-)

    Congratulations, Uncle Michael!!!!

  12. 12.

    Demdude

    Now go forth, sure in the knowledge that extreme spoilage is your new mission.

    As an Uncle for a lot of years, I can give you something that has helped me get through many years of babysitting for my nephews and niece. As long as you leave no physioal marks, you have no worries. The parents get blamed for everything in later life and you are in the clear.

  13. 13.

    p.lukasiak

    Congrats… get ready for decades of forgetting when her birthday is, and two days after being asked by your mother “Did you remember to send your niece a birthday card?”

    Mom’s never ask two days BEFORE a niece or nephew’s birthday, its always after.

    They do it just to prove that they are still THE MOM.

    *********
    and in other news worth celebrating…

    http://www.gallup.com/poll/106606/Gallup-Daily-Clinton-46-Obama-45.aspx

    now, personally, I think such polls are meaningless. Even if Clinton had a 10 point lead, it would still be meaningless.

    So, I’m not celebrating the fact that Hillary has overtaken Obama nationally — no I’m celebrating the fact that I bought stock in proctor and gamble, and I know that sales of Tide are going through the roof when all you Obots who were celebrating Obama’s 11 point lead over Clinton see this, and crap your pants.

    And given how full of shit the Obots here are, that’s a lot of crap….AND A LOT OF TIDE! ! ! ! !

  14. 14.

    Krista

    demkat620: That would be easier if the baby was closer. I am in Atlanta. She is in eastern Canada!

    Want me to go kiss her for you? :) I adore babies.

  15. 15.

    mk

    Wow, Michael. Congratulations! You’ll get to do the gender equivalent of Auntie Mame. Her parents won’t thank you, and likely never forgive you, but you’ll be her most favorist uncle ever.

  16. 16.

    Conservatively Liberal

    Corngrabulations! ;)

    Now spoil the kid, her parents will love you for it. My sis and her hubby dote on our daughter, and she is best friends with them. It is good for the kid, and you will get a kick out of it. We spoil our nieces and nephews, but it is a good spoiling. Our families teach the kids that they have to send hand-written personal responses for gifts, and this opens up a lifetime of closeness and communication that is good for them. Plus it teaches them to appreciate the time others have taken out o f their lives just for them.

    Win-win all around! I wish the new parents and their child well, and I hope they get some sleep in a year or two…lol

  18. 18.

    jake

    Congratulations, and remember: Spoiling your sibling’s kid is a great way to get back at them for all the times they annoyed you when you were growing up.

  20. 20.

    Catfish N. Cod

    There’s always room for Jello. There’s always one more bug. And it is always correct to pause and welcome another member of the species.

    Congratulations, and many happy returns of the day!

  22. 22.

    Original Lee

    Congratulations! As I have 11 nieces and 5 nephews myself, I can assure you that you will want more than one. Spoiling is your main job description, and you can get quite effective revenge on her parents by buying VERY NOISY toys (e.g., in about a year, get her the popcorn popper push toy, which is still marketed by Fisher Price).

    Right now, the parents will forgive you almost anything if you find a mobile with >10 minutes of music, preferably something other than Brahms’ Lullaby.

  25. 25.

    The Other Steve

    Congrats! I have a niece and a nephew.

    BTW, if you haven’t yet. Go read Frank Rich column. Every once in a while this guy nails it

  27. 27.

    Thursday

    Yay! You have a small human (girl) instead of an Alien Creature from the Planet BOOM!

    The best part of nieces/nephews: you can hand them to someone else.

    Enjoy.

  34. 34.

    Jackie

    Original Lee: “the popcorn popper push toy, which is still marketed by Fisher Price”

    I so agree! It’s “The Toy” that will help enforce them to walk – or if they’re not quite walking, will help them walk. It’s my #1 choice for 1st birthdays and has been since my son started walking 26 1/2 years ago. He could walk, but only if holding on to something – including thread, with me or daddy holding the spool at the end of the thread. He dropped the thread and BOOM! Down he’d go. (He was quite capable of walking, but he needed the extra security.) For his first birthday I bought him the corn popper push toy and he could walk! Since then that’s what I bought all my friends/relatives’ baby’s first birthday. Cheap and worth a million bucks.

    My first grandbaby is due in Dec. and the following Christmas (2009) granny will be buying another corn popper push toy to help her/him walk independently. (Depending on walking skills it may be a Thanksgiving 2009 gift)

    Granny-to-be

  35. 35.

    TR

    Go buy them Dr. Harvey Karp, “the Happiest Baby on the Block” book/DVD.

    They’ll thank you forever.

  36. 36.

    Inhumans99

    Congrats!! My birth weight was also 7lb 11oz. I was born in Henderson, NV, and my mother tells me that birth weight is considered lucky in Vegas…and who am I to disagree with my mother:).

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