If you read this story, it is not even remotely funny, but it does have the most terrifying headline ever:
Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital
Lynchings AND penis theft? That can’t be good for tourism.
Consider this an open thread.
*** Update ***
BTW- The Day After is currently showing on the SciFi channel. I have not seen that movie since I was 12-13 years old. I remember another movie that terrified me when I was a kid was Gray Lady Down- there was a scene where they had to close off a hatch and drown a sailor. Still remember that.
*** Update #2 ***
I had forgotten Dorfman was in The Day After…
Crusty Dem
wow, John, pretty quick transition from Clinton winning the primary to penis theft.
Sexist pig.
r€nato
That’s why it’s nice to have a detachable penis…
DougJ
Waiting for Obama to denounce and reject this. He is African, after all.
Let’s see if Gibson asks about this in the next debate.
Phil
Looks like the Weather Underground’s favorite son lost big tonight. No magical unicorns to ride in on today.
And regarding McCain’s earmark “blunder” over aid to Israel, it’s too bad it was a “blunder”. It’s time to end ALL foreign aid. We need to start taking care of the folks back home first, especially now. If that upsets the NY Times editorial board, then great. They’ll be out of business in a few years anyway.
Ted
Superstitions are so entertaining. You can’t make them up.
apikoros
Ah! So now we know why Bob Dole is shilling Viagra and what John McSaim will blame his loss on! Someone should tell the Repubs that the thing on their lapels is a pin, not a penis… however much of a dick it makes them!
Ted
A babysitter decided it would be appropriate to show a 5 year old (me) Enemy Mine. Don’t do that to your kids, folks.
Dave_Violence
Clearly John’s suffering from PDSS. I’m pretty sure this wasn’t on the front page of the NYT, though let’s wait and see. Hey! buck up! There’s still some primary action left, maybe BO can pull it out (pun intended)!
Chris
Carmen Sandiego is up to her old tricks again!
“Officer, I saw the suspect fleeing the Congo with a penis aboard an airplane with a red, white, and green flag!”
nightjar
The Day After was one of the better post nuke holocaust movies, but “Testament” was the one that creeped me out the most. The slow death of the children was hard to watch.
Tim (The Other One)
Jesus Cole you’re such a young punk ! That shit scared you ?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0048975/
Try this as a child for five days in a row on the Million Dollar Movie and get back to me.
BSG. It is to laugh.
Punchy
Clinton parlays this into a $20 mill fundraiser. Just watch. sux.
firebrand
You want terrifying John? The Clintonbots are already knocking on my front door, asking me who I’m going to vote for and how, upon telling them that it’s Obama, they can convince me to vote for Hillary.
The next 2 weeks are not going to be fun.
John Cole
Just do what I do when strange people in suits knock on my door. Yell “Fuck off, I’m an atheist and I’m not wearing any pants.” The Mormons don’t even try to talk to me after that and just leave.
Phil
So John, do you just close your ears when someone mentions to you the fact that your buddy Obama associates with unrepentent domestic terrorists or do you just let the cognitive dissonance handle it for you? Curious minds want to know.
Just so we’re absolutely crystal clear and on the same page here John, we’re talking about William Ayers and the Weather Underground – the same Weather Underground that bombed police stations and military complexes in its hey day.
firebrand
Shit, that works on Mormons too? I normally can’t get rid of those S.O.B.s, not even with cans of Raid. Hell, I’m going to put that to use ASAP.
Soylent Green
I just say “Y’all might want to step back a bit, there ain’t no safety on my shotgun and I got the shakes real bad.”
Ted
Would that be the same Weather Underground that Bill Clinton pardoned convicted criminal members of? Just asking.
How’s Hillary’s fund raising going?
firebrand
@Phil: You want to talk about terrorists? How about Bill Clinton pardoning anti-American FALN terrorists just so that he could boost Puerto Rican turnout in NY and thus help Hillary’s chances in winning her NY Senate race back in 2000? Or how about Bill and Hillary’s own connection to the Weather Underground, with Bill pardoning Susan Rosenberg and Linda Sue Evans shortly before leaving office in January 2001? Or are those inconvenient facts you just don’t want to address? Christ, you Clintonbots sure are full of it.
Psycheout
Did you also see Special Bulletin (1983), John? Another fine TV movie about the bomb.
But 9/11 was scarier. The world changed on that day.
Phil
“@Phil: You want to talk about terrorists? How about Bill Clinton pardoning anti-American FALN terrorists just so that he could boost Puerto Rican turnout in NY and thus help Hillary’s chances in winning her NY Senate race back in 2000? Or how about Bill and Hillary’s own connection to the Weather Underground, with Bill pardoning Susan Rosenberg and Linda Sue Evans shortly before leaving office in January 2001? Or are those inconvenient facts you just don’t want to address? Christ, you Clintonbots sure are full of it.”
God you libs and your circular firing squad are hilarious sometimes. I have no dog in the fight, I’m conservative and made that abundantly clear in the past. But now that you mention it, if you’re a person of conscience, how in the world could you support people who associate and/or pardon domestic terrorists? Why would you vote for EITHER Hillary or Obama?
I don’t worship McCain as many Obama supporters worship over him – in fact there’s a lot I don’t like about McCain – but I know that at the very least he was tortured by Communists and thus is unlikely to associate with Communist sypathizing terrorists like the Weather Underground like your cult-leader Obama.
Phil
Barack Obama – Man of action:
Democratic presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama lost his cool Monday when reporters pressed him to comment on former American President Jimmy Carter’s meeting with Hamas leader Khaled Mashaal in Damascus. “Why can’t I just eat my waffle?” he said while eating his breakfast, according to MSNBC. The reporter asked him a second time, and Sen. Obama again replied, “Just let me eat my waffle.”
This guy is such an empty suit, it’s laughable. Yep, pretty much convinced Obama is the weaker candidate in the general at this point. But it’s certainly amusing to watch the circular firing squad nonetheless.
Tim (The Other One)
“but I know that at the very least he was tortured by Communists”
Phil, you should watch Five Came Back. There were Communist head hunters in it.
firebrand
Heh, funny. I couldn’t tell the difference between you and a Clintonbot. The things you learn in a long primary season, eh?
Seeing as how Obama’s association with Bill Ayers is about as flimsy as you can get, I’m not too worried on that front. And your buddy-boy McCain associates with characters that, for instance, have called the Catholic church “the great whore” amongst other things. How can you support people who associated with religious bigots?
Is that all you’ve got? I mean, is that really it? That one reason alone is supposed to be why someone should vote for McCain? Never mind that he’s dead wrong on the war, or that he knows NOTHING about the economy, or that he’s older than Methuselah. Or that Obama’s connection to Bill Ayers is as ephemeral as John McCain’s knowledge of the economy. If the only reason I’m supposed to vote for him is that he was tortured by Communists (torture that, by the way, YOUR PARTY ENDORSES, CURRENTLY CONDUCTS, AND PRACTICES REGULARLY, making you as despicable and dastardly as the Communists you so loathe), then guess what – McCain is going to lose in a landslide to Obama. No doubt about it.
firebrand
Waffles. Jesus Christ, you conservatives don’t have anything else to run on Obama against, do you? This is all there is. Freaking waffles. Waffles, for god’s sake! Man…you guys are so going to get CREAMED in the general.
Zuzu
You mean like personally intervening on behalf of a terrorist bomber responsible for the deaths of 73 airline passengers, among others?
Poppy’s pals
You’re right, how could anyone possibly support such a person?
Zuzu
Oops, my mistake. Seems like Bosch blew up 76 innocent people, not 73.
DFD
I’m picturing a typical Congolese household with a box of Cheerios on the table joined by a milk carton with the caption, “Have you seen this penis?”.
DonkeyKong
Spookiest Cold War 80’s tv movie……….Threads…….the whole movie is chopped up into 50 or 60 parts on youtube. The very last scene still haunts me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN8-VP810aA
DonkeyKong
Here is the last part, 10 years after a nuclear exchange with the Soviets.
Makes The Day After look sentimental………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtXPEscaiWY&feature=related
AnneLaurie
Since I’m a dozen or so years older than John, what I remember most about THE DAY AFTER is the way the then-young & feisty “Moral Majority” tried to use it as a recruiting tool. According to Falwell and his direct-mail supporters, the writers, actors, and producers of TDA were vile, unpatriotic freedom-haters who were spitting in President Ronnie’s face and supporting the Communists!!!!1!!1! (Yes, young people, there were actual communists in those days, and not just in the political-wildlife sanctuaries either.) There was a serious attempt to blackmail ABC into dumping the project, using a combined promise of advertiser boycotts and FCC fines for “unpaid political advertising”. If I recall correctly, the scene where the newlywed farm wife starts hemmorhaging in church was especially singled out as a prime example of anti-Christian propaganda, the kind that ‘Hollywood Jews’ were so wont to use in their never-ending assaults on the tender sensibilities of The Heartland(tm). This fooferaw is part of what led to the Nightline postmortem mentioned in the Wikipedia link, not to mention the “lack of commercial interruptions after the nuclear attack”.
It also led to nervous network execs withdrawing their support for the me-too movie TESTAMENT, which meant Jane Alexander got an Oscar instead of an Emmy for her work, because TESTAMENT (which is, I agree, a much more terrifying tale) ended up on the Big Screen. If Wikipedia is correct, it also led to RED DAWN, which may have done more damage to Heartland(tm) psyches than any propaganda piece our enemies in the defunct USSR could ever have dreamed.
WestVirginiaRebel
OMG Threads…filmed documentary-style this was the creepiest of the WW3 movies. BTw Amy Madigan was kind of hot back in the day.
You guys want to complain about Mormons, at least they’re not Jehova’s Witnesses.
As far as the McCain haters go, you guys do know that Alan Keyes is running, don’t you? There’s your protest candidate for ’08!
As far as the missing penises go I have never had sex with that…um…whatever…
p.a.
‘Fat,drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.’
Look at the amount the US spends in foreign aid, and compare it to the federal budget. It’s an insignificant percentage. Then remember that about 50% of that money goes to just Israel (our 51st state) and Egypt (our 2nd Puerto Rico). Then remember that the budget numbers are a sham because the Bush ‘administration’ tries to keep as much of Sonny’s excellent Iraq adventure off-budget as they can. So foreign aid is even smaller than the numbers might indicate.
merl
What was so scary about Enemy Mine?
Dug Jay
This news item fron BBC News appears to also apply to many of the regular Balloon Juicers:
jake
I saw a werewolf drinkin’ a penis colada at Trader Vick’s…
ty lookwell
The Day After was a campy joke.
The BBC’s Threads was absolutely harrowing. I spent some time trying to discover the name of the pseudo-documentary that had so shocked me back in 1985, and was surprised to discover so many other Gen-Xers who had had the same visceral response and still revered the movie for its fearlessness. If you haven’t seen it, rent it or download it.
(Battlestar Galactica is discussed on this blog from time to time… I wish Ron Moore would have watched Threads before he wrote and shot the first season of BSG, in order to appreciate what a full nuclear attack on Caprica would really entail. )
ty lookwell
Here is Threads, in its entirety, on Google Video.
Still, I would recommend renting it or downloading a copy with a better resolution and format
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2023790698427111488
glasnost
For your next Hilary-bashing thread:
The Weekly Standard:
Finally, if Hillary manages somehow to pull this thing out, she’ll have gone a long way to softening her image among Republicans. Obama may be more electable, at this point he’s also more likely to energize the Republican base. Terry McAuliffe just praised Fox News as fair and balanced for being first to make tonight’s call, Hillary’s out drinking beers, trashing MoveOn, and threatening to obliterate Iran. She’s earning a lot of good will on the right.
http://www.weeklystandard.com/weblogs/TWSFP/2008/04/hillary_wins.asp
The saddest part of all is, the h*ll she is. She’s not earning an iota.
4tehlulz
Don’t worry Dug; I’m sure you’ll
be able to pay toget laid someday.4tehlulz
The War Game > Threads
Tom
I recently watched The Day After on sci-fi as well. And like you, John, I only have vague memories of being freaked out by it as a kid. Was interesting watching it as an adult. Pretty decent movie. The Grapes of Wrath ending was WAY over my head as a kid.
And speaking of War Games and early 80s nuclear annhilation movies, War Games was on AMC last night. Love that one as well.
Scrutinizer
Threads is the best ever post-apocalyptic movie—makes you want to commit suicide after watching it. Special Bulletin is also a great look at (domestic!!!) nuclear terrorism. I loved that one for the way it was told, from the standpoint of the media covering the event on real time. Good versions of both can be found on the iIntertron, if you look in the right places.
Krista
You do that too?
With us it’s not the Mormons though. It’s our relatives. Some of them are very hard-core, proselytizing, Bible-thumping, 3-hour-long-gospel-hall-service, women-can’t-cut-their-hair types. Most of them have been very nice and welcoming, and never bring up religion with us.
But there are a small handful who just can’t let it alone. A few times, they’ve left literature at our door when we’ve been out. One of them (a distant cousin) once caught my husband at home, got rather pushy about the whole thing, and received much of the same response that you give.
When we build the new house, I want to get a door knocker with a nice scary demon on it. Maybe it’ll scare them away.
Luke
Who the hell is Dorfman??
montysano
Yes….. true. And since no one’s said it yet: This can only hurt the Democrats in November.
I prefer to invite them in and share my deeply held pagan/commie beliefs with them. After all, a man needs a hobby.
L. Ron Obama
Yep, Threads. Evidently I saw it as an eight-year-old. And The Day After, which as an adult is less harrowing than Threads (that’s not saying much). Everything I needed to know about EMP I learned in kindergarten.
Also Sybil. Do not let a young child watch Sybil.
OriGuy
Steven Furst’s character in Animal House. He was also Vir Cotto in Babylon 5.
Luke
Thank you OriGuy…
Tax Analyst
Saw a horror Double-Feature as a 9-or-10 year-old back at the old Wiltern Theatre here in Los Angeles…”The Fly” & “Horrors of the Black Museum”. My older brother took me because he got stuck baby-sitting that night – Sadist. The “Black Museum” one led off and in the opening sequence this cute blonde gets a unexpected gift package – apparently from an unknown admirer. A pair of binoculars. She puts them up to her eyes to check them out and spikes come out, followed by the entire screen turning a bright blood-red and an absolutely blood-curdling scream. That was about 2 or 3 minutes into the movie. That double-feature totally freaked me out. You would have needed a tractor to pull a needle out of my asshole during the following 3 or so hours.
As freaky as “The Fly” was, it was actually somewhat comforting compared to the first film. “Real” people don’t generally turn into half-fly/half-guy creatures, but random creepo’s can send nasty “gifts” anonymously to anyone, and that thought sure took hold during that opening segment.
Fat Mort Jellyroll
I live in the town that a great deal of The Day After was filmed (Lawrence, KS. home of the National Basketball Champions, blah, blah, blah) and, as per city mandate, watch it with my kids so they can point to crap and say “we,ve been there.” and it’s always good to see the pre-“Police Academy ” Gutt in action.
Fat Mort Jellyroll
Sorry, National College Basketball Champions. Is my “don’t give a fuck” showing?
nightjar
Before this thread expires, I wanted to ask if anyone remembers a Day After type movie that I believe was made in the late 50’s.
All I can remember about it was showing a class of school kids playing at the start of the film. Can’t remember the name.
DonkeyKong
“On the Beach”
nightjar
No, this movie takes place in mid America somewhere. Buts thanks for trying.