I drink it up.
I am reformatting today (don’t ask and I don’t want your damned advice- no offense, of course), so if I am online, something has gone horribly wrong.
This is it till later. Drink it up.
Reader Interactions
97Comments
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Soylent Green
Shakespeare’s take on Clinton hanging in:
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
D-Chance.
Thinking back to the “heliocentrism” thongs thread…
why no Balloon Juice merchandise?
PK
“Shakespeare’s take on Clinton hanging in”
My take on Clinton hanging in: We need some garlic and onions and someone to drive a stake through her heart!
AkaDad
I wanted to confirm the rumor. Yes, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
Zifnab
YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!
Billy K
However you think he should do it is the complete, 180-degree, polar opposite of the RIGHT way, and I think you’re a m0r0n and a n00b.
4tehlulz
im in ur bl0g, p0s+in6 mai c0mm3ntz
TheFountainHead
Awww, I got all excited, I thought you meant you were re-formatting Balloon Juice….damn you for getting my hopes up!
The Other Steve
What are you reformatting?
The mySQL server? Going to install a real database? :-)
Dennis - SGMM
Moving up to MS Access. It’s really solid.
Throwin Stones
My favorite McCain quotes of the week was on This Week with Stepho regarding Hagee…
Stepho: was it “a mistake to solicit and accept his endorsement”
McCain: “oh, probably, sure.” But, he’s still “glad to have his endorsement.”
Pressed further..
McCain: “I condemn remarks that are, in any way, viewed as anti-anything. But thanks for asking”
/glad that’s cleared up…
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
The Great Orange Satan does a good job of pointing out what everyone already knows, Hillary Clinton and her surrogates are hypocrites.
Prince Roy
no worries. the results can certainly be no worse than your votes in the last two presidential elections.
Tom
http://www.hulu.com/watch/10232/saturday-night-live-milkshakes
Incertus
Florida’s getting stupid with their license plates again.
The Other Steve
Maybe we could go back to flat text files?
The Other Steve
Ohh ohh…
McCain is selling his new brand of conservatism.
Goodbye Compassionate Conservative!
Hello Caring Conservative!
zzyzx
Why do I love Obama as a candidate? Obama plans major drive to register voters.
You can take the candidate out of organizing voters, but it looks like you can’t take the organizer out of the candidate. Obama is planning to use the funds he’s been raising to register voters in all 50 states. What this means is that even if Obama loses Utah or Mississippi or other states that he’s going to be out of, he’ll increase the odds of flipping a House seat or two. If nothing else, it’ll force the Republicans to play defense instead of trying to expand their territory.
Obama isn’t just trying to win the White House, he’s trying to expand the party. This is the kind of effort that will still be bearing fruit in 20 years.
John S.
Which stands in sharp contrast to a certain candidate that is only in it for themselves — party be damned.
ThymeZone
Oh dear, oh dear. The MS Jet Engine (the beating heart behind Access) is widely regarded by db professionals to be the worst piece of shit software thing ever invented. And by that I mean, the absolute worst.
But even putting that aside, Access is not an enterprise-class database engine, by any stretch of the rules. The very large IT shop I work with basically refuses to support it. They’ll install it for you but if it doesn’t work, call somebody else. And absolutely zero support for any data-related issues. If you want IT support, you will have to use SQL Server.
rachel
Solid what?
The Other Steve
It is better than mySQL though, which well… tells you something about mySQL. ;-)
Mary
Guys, I really think Dennis was snarking.
If he wasn’t, well, it’s beer and massages for him until he gets as large and tasty as possible.
jrg
Hagee Says Hurricane Katrina Struck New Orleans Because It Was ‘Planning A Sinful’ ‘Homosexual Rally’
So, I guess we’ll see the media go nuts over McCain’s connections to America hater Hagee, right? Oh, yeah, IOKIYAR!
In other news, Conservatives targeting porn on military bases
Hopefully alcohol is next. We’ve got to protect these soldiers from their worldly desires (unless their worldly desires involve seeing their families or returning home with all their arms and legs).
Remember, we’re fighting the islamofacists because they hate us for our freedom!
myiq2xu
Wow. I thought the line was “Hell hath no fury like a woman’s corns.”
Tom Hilton
Okay, call me culturally ignorant (and as the Residents say: “ignorance of your culture is not considered cool”)…but where the hell does this “I drink your milkshake” catchphrase come from? Is this one of those things from broadcast television?
TheFountainHead
I think that’s the RedState Folio you’re quoting there.
sean
Reuters is reporting a cargo ship contracted by the U.S. military fired on an Iranian boat. everyone ready for WWIII??
myiq2xu
Reality check:
snip
I know y’all are hurtin’ after Obama’s devastating loss in Pennsylvania but facts are stubborn things.
PeterJ
Without spoiling, it’s from There will be Blood.
Zifnab
Remind me again how the Republicans are totally going to win the military vote this year? Seriously, between Bush’s immigration push and the full frontal smear of Huckabee and record deficit spending, its like the Republicans are methodically trying to piss off every corner of their base now that they’re done pissing off the rest of the country.
I’m really just waiting for some GOP candidate to suggest a tax hike, because its the only interest group they appear to have left unmolested.
incertus
Myiq,
Florida, sad to say, will only go blue if this election is a blowout. We’re redder than you think.
Zifnab
Lols. We’ll see if you keep that rationale running through North Carolina. Five bucks says that state doesn’t count.
The Moar You Know
There is only one “enterprise-class database”, kids, and Microsoft doesn’t make it. All bow down and worship Oracle.
(and you’ll pay through the nose for it)
sean
link for my 10:16 post here
p.a.
LA Times: “Turkey mediating Israel-Syria talks on Golan”
NY Times: “Pakistan negotiates with Taliban to halt attacks by militants”
As we enter yet another phase in the Bush-Republican ‘plan’
to make the United States superfluous in the international
community.
TheFountainHead
What’s wrong with that statement? Nothing, as I read it. It is factual. No Democrat (or Republican, for that matter) gets elected on the back of any one demographic. I think it’s disingenuous to attempt to twist Axelrod’s statement into “Obama is writing off white people!” You need to have support from several major demographics to win an election. Period.
TheFountainHead
Oh yeah, and in case you missed it, we might have just started WWIII.
Punchy
Is this the title of Larry Craig’s new autobiography?
Dennis - SGMM
Just a little. Started hatin’ on Access back in ’95 when various otherwise-sane business people tried to employ it as a multi-user DB. I mean it was “free” with the Office suite and it was a database, right? I developed the theory back then that Bayer aspirin was paying Gates under the table.
Ned Raggett
(I actually thought “BASTARD in a BASKET!” was a better line towards the end of the movie.)
That Broun porn ban thing…huh. People ARE stupider than I realized.
Dreggas
glad I am not the only one who thinks that phrase sounds just a little gay.
jrg
Like Republicans give a shit about “record deficit spending”. These people care about one thing only: moralizing to their semi-literate base. The fact that rural conservatives are largely poor (and fiscally irresponsible) is not incidental – it’s the reason they fight these cultural jihads against
the westthe coastal elites.These communities that cannot get investment from industry (largely due to their own ignorance) have to believe that they can contribute something, which is why they incessantly harp on the miracle that is Jeebus. These people believe that “God did it” is a testable hypothesis (nay, a credible scientific theory). They simply cannot compete in the modern world, which is why they’d like to see the world regress back to a superstitious dark age.
Of course, us “coastal elites” who don’t want to live in a third world country are the only ones who care about this sort of thing, but you’re right – A state-side moralist revoking a 20something soldier’s right to see a Penthouse mag in a war zone half way around the world is way over the top.
You don’t have to be a scientist, an economist, or someone who values separation of church and state to see that… any wanker can.
tBone
That was good too, but “You’re just an afterbirth that slithered out of your mother’s filth” wins all.
The milkshake line is so memorable because of Day-Lewis’ scene-chewing delivery. That over-the-top slurping sound cracks me up.
JWeidner
Yawn. Come back with better trolling. Your milkshake is past its sell-by date.
chopper
winning by less than 10% is ‘devastating’? shit, that makes most all of obama’s wins ‘super-ultra-ass-devastating’ victories i guess.
The Other Steve
Warning shots don’t start wars. We need a good sinking!
You sink a few of those elite Iranian bass boats and that’ll start a good war!
The Other Steve
myiq – You know, I think we’re all just going to start pie filtering and ignoring you.
You aren’t offering anything intelligent to the commentary, it’s just some bizarre drug-laden spin from Team Hitlery about how they’re really winning.
But if Hitlery is winning, why hasn’t she won? I thought PA was going to prove everything, and the super delegates(oh I’m sorry, automated delegates) would all line up behind her, because Obama was radioactive and you can’t fight super McCain with radioactive kryptonite.
The Other Steve
He even won Illinois by a higher margin than she won New York.
I was talking to someone, and they said she has trouble connecting with people from Brooklyn, and that’s why.
bootlegger
These were “security” forces that fired on the Iranians, not sworn-to-uphold-the-constitution GIs. Does this mean that WWIII will be Haliburton v. Jihad?
Ned Raggett
Hey, everyone wins! (I might be wrong.)
chopper
i love the sidebar in that story, a slideshow of the ‘modern history of iran’ which completely glosses over the elected government of the 50s and the overthrow and reestablishment of the shah.
AkaDad
It’s totally logical that all those blue-collar Democrats that voted for Hillary are going to vote for a Republican, even though he admits to not knowing much about the economy. Yup, I have no doubt that’s gonna happen, especially during a recession.
benjoya
she has trouble connecting with people from Brooklyn, and that’s why.
speaking anecdotally, i’m second generation Brooklyn, and I got no use for her. If we actually had a non-moribund Dem party in this state, she wouldn’t even be senator.
chopper
but brooklyn is a huge blue-collar population. she should have owned our vote.
Zifnab
I don’t even mind, really. The United States has been baby-sitting the rest of the world since 1945. Sometimes we’ve done a good job (Germany re-unification, halt of Soviet expansion) and sometimes we’ve done a shitty job (interfering in the Middle East, interfering in Central America). But at the end of the day, we need to stop doing any job at all. Turkey should be mediating between Israel and Syria. Pakistan needs to get more involved in dealing with extremists on their own border. The UN charter isn’t a vehicle to take over the world and the global military bases we’ve set up seem to invite as many enemies as they bring down.
If Bush’s record level of incompetence has taught the global community anything, its that you’re on your own now. It’s been 50 years, time to exit the cradle and get on your way. Daddy is old and senile. He can’t amuse (or abuse) you anymore. The American Empire’s days are numbered. And thank god for that.
dAVE
But, but, but, Steve, she’s winning the popular vote*.
(If you throw out all those caucus states that don’t mean anything and count FL and MI, and so what if his name wasn’t even on the ballot, he chose to take it off, SO THERE!!!!!!)
Do you think the radical Hillbots will self-destruct when they finally realize she’s lost?
Billy K
Well, when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound so bad.
JWeidner
dingdingding! We have a winnah!
Actually, I already run pie filtering at home…I just can’t do that at work. So I’m subjected to the ramblings of certain individuals and can’t do anything about it here…
L. Ron Obama
People from Brooklyn don’t count.
Grumpy Code Monkey
Jet is probably the most well-named database engine in that it is a massive vortex of suck. However, it did serve a purpose; it helped us find an uncommitted transaction in our code.
The way our product worked, it would periodically check a jobs table for new jobs to process; the problem was, if no records were returned, the transaction was never committed. If no jobs came in for a long enough period of time, the transaction log would grow until it filled up all available disk space, bringing the whole system down.
Yes, our product could crash your system by not doing anything.
I have no idea where the milkshake thing comes from either.
bootlegger
My prediction, Haliburton will sell arms to Blackwater and the Persians in the first ever corporate vs. old empire war and end up a bunch of rich Ferengis and rule over the remnants.
Of course taxes will go down so most Americans should favor this outcome.
Garrigus Carraig
Wisely spoken. Sadly, we could have managed this transition after the Cold War ended, rather than, er, having the transition manage us. Also, one wonders what the Europeans are thinking. They’re complicit. They ought to be leaving NATO on their own & relearning how to defend themselves. Who would choose the US as guarantor of their security in 2008?
NR
Yeah, except for one outlier, all the polls said that Hillary would win Pennsylvania by 6-12 points. She wins by 9 and suddenly it’s a game changer?
Fine. We can play that game, too. I say that we Obama supporters should freak out after he wins North Carolina and follow it up with post after post asking “Why can’t Hillary close the deal?”
Doug H. (Fausto no more)
Such a devastating loss that the SD’s belief in Obama is shaken? Not exactly:
Facts aren’t nearly as stubborn as certain Hillbots.
Dreggas
I’ve been asking this question since Wednesday. I mean really, if Hillary was all that then why is she behind by all measures and unable to score a knockout?
Billy K
It’s the 34th Rule of Acquisition!
Svensker
And the really fun part is that the oil prices have already surged because of it. Yay! The Bush Team scores another one for the home team! (Question is, whose home?)
John S.
From you, myiq?
I’ll pass.
protected static
That is most excellent. Have you considered submitting it to The Daily WTF?
The Other Steve
For Hillary to close the deal, she’s really going to ahve to win North Carolina.
Dreggas
pWned!
Shygetz
*sigh* Look at the scoreboard, dumbass.
Ted
I’d say I look forward to the time when you vanish from the good blogs and we don’t ever again have to read your thread fat, but we both know you don’t possess enough shame to go away when Obama goes to the general election. You’ll still be here, thread-humping for McCain.
Zifnab
I’d just like to point out that the North Carolina Primary – being in the breadbasket of the south and a virtual must-win state in November, is going to really determine who should be the Presidential Nominee. Only the winner of the NC Primary can adequately represent working class men and women from a diverse mix of cultural and racial backgrounds.
If Hillary Clinton can’t win North Carolina by at least 9 points, she should bow out of the race because she will be unable to cross the “electability” threshold in the eyes of American Voters.
Also, women can’t be President. Get back in the kitchen.
Lee
Whatever the new format is I hate it.
It looks like a 12 year old did it.
It causes epilectic seizures.
It denies global wamring.
and it smells bad.
Ted
The nomination should have been in the bag for her from the start. Perhaps Myiq can explain why anyone at all has managed to do this to her chances. It probably has something to do with media bias. Or something.
NR
Want a big dose of irony?
When Bill Clinton signed the Telecommunications Act of 1996, he made possible the creation of the big media monopolies that he’s now decrying for their supposedly unfair treatment of his wife.
Chew on that one for a while.
libarbarian
Off-Topic.
My impersonation of an “angry white male”: “All of my problems are the fault of other, lazy, good-for-nothing people who need to stop blaming other people for their own problems and take some responsibility for their own lives. If these jerks would just be more like me, and take some personal responsibility, then all of my problems, which they are largely responsible for, would go away.”
Dreggas
what makes that even funnier is those are the types that vote republican…you know…the party of personal responsibility…
Tony J
The whole Milkshake thing, I’ve discovered, is even worse when you only know snatches of the song and what you do know keeps morphing into the voice of Bones from Star Trek.
My Milkshake
Is better than yours
Better than yours
Better than yours
My Milkshake
Is better than yours
It’s better than yours, Jim.
My Milkshake
Brings the boys to the yard
Boys to the yard
Boys to the yard
My Milkshake
Brings the boys to the yard
Boys to the yard, Jim.
JR
My wife and I watched “There Will Be Blood” last night. Possibly the best-acted film since “The Lion in Winter.” Having seen all 5 nominated films, and nothing against the Coen brothers, I still don’t understand how this one didn’t win Best Picture.
nightjar
Someone else wants to drink your Milkshake.
The Other Steve
Because No Country for Old Men transcended Hollywood. It showed that a story doesn’t have to make sense, it doesn’t have to have plot lines, or character development, or even an ending.
All it has to have is good filmography, and two brothers directing it who didn’t get the oscar they deserved fro Fargo.
PaulB
That’s pretty much what they claim — that the media loved Obama and hated Clinton. It’s not entirely untrue, of course (although it doesn’t reflect the reality of the last two months), but even an unfriendly media environment couldn’t account for Clinton flailing and failing as badly as she has. Chalk that one up to Penn and to Clinton herself.
JWeidner
It’s just like all art – the more inaccessible it is to the masses, the more the artistic elite appreciate it.
Martin
Take away the soundtrack and Star Wars looks like a totally different film too. Sometimes being different is enough to fool people into thinking it’s good.
Sometimes it goes the other way. My wife thought Moulin Rouge was nearly unwatchable the first time she saw it. The 2nd time she saw it she thought it was one of the best films she’d seen.
tBone
Exactly. I liked the movie – Javier Bardem was great, Tommy Lee Jones was really good, and the cinematography was brilliant – but I certainly didn’t think it deserved to be hailed as a masterpiece, or even in the top tier of Coen films.
I also think Cormac McCarthy is incredibly overrated, so that may have something to do with it too.
rachel
Shouldn’t that be “a massive vortex of blow?”
Krista
Le sigh. The joys of working for a small non-profit. We have to use non-software for our membership database. It’s a real testament to how fucking miraculous I am that I’ve managed to keep all 1072 members organized and properly sorted out and renewed on time with that piece of shit software.
Yes, I’m drunk. And Bill Gates should get a better fucking haircut for all the money he has. Jesus Christ, does Melinda stick the salad bowl over his head and then go after it with a fucking Flowbee?
The Other Steve
It was a masterpiece because you didn’t think it was.
protected static
Sucks. Blows. Eh. In the case of Jet I suppose it depends upon which end you’re standing in front of, making this one of those edge cases where giving and receiving are equally unpleasant…
Where I work, we call that a ‘filing cabinet’…
rachel
Ah, so it sucks and blows at the same time! (And not very well, it seems.)
Conservatively Liberal
I have used mySQL for over three years as the database for my game server, and I have been very happy with it. I use mySQL Admin for replication/backups, and phpMyAdmin for maintenance. It is a little ‘clunky’, although I am on v4.0.20 due to the limitations of the game server software, but I enjoy the fact that (at least in my case) I can leave the servers alone for months at a time and not have to worry about anything other than cleaning out the air filters every few weeks. Once you set mySQL up right, it just hums along.
Although I did have to kick the crap out of it for the first few months until I got the configuration I wanted up and running.
I first started using Oracle at medical clinic I built the systems and network for, and which I serviced and maintained both hardware and software. Medical Manager and Praxis 98 were the front end apps. Oracle is the best, hands down. You want to scale big and want it stable, safe and secure? Oracle. End of story.
I have played with Access since its first release, and played is the right expression…lol! It sucks, but for individuals who like to tinker with something like it, it has its purposes. Just nothing critical. I took an Access class in college a couple of years ago (studied on Access 2003), and I am glad I did. Some of my assumptions were wrong, but one conclusion I kept was that it is not a ‘serious’ database.
Hell, I was just remembering dBase, which I used on CP/M (and later on DOS) systems back in the 80’s! It was for billing and site management of a huge mobile home, trailer and campground park. I was hired to set the systems up, and I wrote the front end for it. I almost forgot all about that ‘fun’. Ahh, the good ol’ days of pages and pages of dot matrix printouts of coding because it was easier (and faster) to view the code and flow test it than it was to manipulate it on the machine…lol.
Combine that with the limited RAM that systems were available with, and you had to learn to cram a lot of functions in a little space. I was in to writing my code as modules that were called, executed and then unloaded from RAM. That way you only had the basic framework in RAM.
Yup, I am a hippy geek.
D-Chance.
Hurry up. The site is utter crap sans your presence.
In the meantime, Ron Paul for President. Biggest mistake we ever made in not taking him seriously. Yeah, I’ll even give Barney Frank props on this one. Fucking intrusive nanny-state legislation should have never been tacked on to the Port Security Act in the first place… just another reminder of Bush’s freaking legacy.
protected static
Well, the Jet db engine isn’t, but one of the [good/interesting/scary] things about Access is that you can use it as a front end for a number of data sources. Since Access 2000 or so it’s been bundled with some ‘lite’ flavor of SQL Server which you can use as the underlying database engine instead of Jet, but you can also link Access to any number of other data sources – full-scale SQL Server, Oracle, text files, Excel, ISAM or KSAM databases, MySQL… If you’ve got an ODBC or ADO driver for it, you can connect to it and build an application around it.
The biggest problems with Access are that the security model sucks, VBA can encourage lazy coding, and (if you’re using Jet) you’ve got all kinds of performance and scaling issues. As a rapid development tool, though, it’s got a fair amount going for it – it might even be too easy to use, because applications developed in Access can look and feel like ‘real’ Win32 apps. I’ve seen way too many enterprise applications built in Access… Since the apps work well enough, they never get ported to a ‘real’ development platform. That might be all well and good for a reporting system, but for a high-volume data processing application? No way. That’s just asking for trouble…
crack
I prefer ‘Excuse me, What the fuck?’ from Charlie Wilson’s War.