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You are here: Home / Foreign Affairs / War / Today’s Lipstick On A Pig Award

Today’s Lipstick On A Pig Award

by Tim F|  April 25, 20081:53 pm| 61 Comments

This post is in: War, General Stupidity

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Via Drum, Admiral Mike Mullen:

Mullen said the U.S. government will not take any option off the table in responding to the Iranian threat. But speaking to reporters today, Mullen repeatedly made clear that he preferred dealing with the problem through diplomatic or financial pressure rather than a military strike.

Still, Mullen said the military had plans to respond to a variety of potential incidents involving Iran….”I have reserve capability in our Air Force and Navy,” Mullen said. “It would be a mistake to think we are out of combat capability.”

That’s great. America can take all comers, as long as they only challenge us in the air or more than 200 km from shore (those sunburn antiship missiles are a bitch). That’s barely any different from our capability before George H.W.’s idiot kid broke the Army, as long as you don’t count fighting on land. Now we just wait for al Qaeda to field a blue water Navy.

As far as Iran goes, the idea that “all options are on the table” is transparently stupid. Threatening Persia with ground forces is plainly not on the table. In fact pretty much nothing is on the table other than strategic bombing, or strategic bombing plus first use of nukes. Otherwise, uh…we could knock a bunch of satellites out of orbit and hope that some of them fall on Iran. I guess there’s always the option of paying exile groups to assassinate Khamenei with an exploding cigar Koran. I’d recommend stronger sanctions but let’s face it, the world is a bit short of light sweet crude at the moment, Russia has no compunctions about thumbing their nose at our complaints (Putin actually seems enjoy it), and Russia has nukes. Plus our 150k troops in Iraq become hostages whenever the bombs start to fall (compare our resupply/evac routes with Shiite turf some time).

It would be nice if guys like Mullen just admitted that “the table” doesn’t have much on it except bad options and worse, and and his boss has no-one but himself to blame.

***

Speaking of great things that should happen but won’t, it would be spiff for you guys to buy me a Wii and successfully lobby Nintendo to publish Wii Squash already. That game would effing rock.

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61Comments

  1. 1.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    April 25, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    It would be nice if guys like Mullen just admitted that “the table” doesn’t have much on it except bad options and worse, and and his boss has no-one but himself to blame.

    We may have a bigger problem. “The table” was purchased from Mor Furniture For Less back in 2002 with no money down and no payments due till January 2009. That first balloon payment is a doozy…

    We may need to revise our terminology to discuss which options are still on “the sidewalk”, or on “the park bench”.

  2. 2.

    Wilfred

    April 25, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Iranian threat, eh? Brought to you by those truthmongers who brought you Iraq! and now Syria!

    You’re becoming quite the jingoist yahoo, Tim:

    Russia has no compunctions about thumbing their nose at our complaints

    Ooooh. Well, we have more nukes, but a little reminder about nose-thumbing:

    Pollard prosecutor: Latest NY spy arrest shows Israel lied to U.S.
    The Associated Press
    Published: April 23, 2008

    NEW YORK: The arrest of a man accused of passing U.S. military secrets to the same Israeli handler as convicted spy Jonathan Pollard confirms that the espionage ring was larger than previously believed and that the Israelis lied about it, a former prosecutor said.

    “The similarities are quite eerie,” said Joseph E. diGenova, the U.S. attorney who oversaw the 1980s-era Pentagon spy scandal that ensnared Pollard.

    A criminal complaint filed Tuesday in Manhattan federal court “clearly indicates there were other Americans being asked at other military installations to do the same things the same way,” diGenova said. “This was a much larger espionage operation with sleeper cells in the United States than we understood or could have known at the time.”

    The Israelis passed the secrets on to South Africa, yeah that one, the apartheid one, the one that had Masndela rotting in prison. They in turn passed it on to the Soviet Union. Maybe the Russians are thumbing their noses at us for a reason.

    Nah, it’s Podhoretz day at Balloon Juice.

  3. 3.

    Zifnab

    April 25, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Russia has no compunctions about thumbing their nose at our complaints (Putin actually seems enjoy it)

    I looked into Putin’s eyes and saw his soul. It flipped me off while banging a teen-age supermodel prostitute. Yeah, now that they’re all capitalistic, those Ruskies are great.

  4. 4.

    jake

    April 25, 2008 at 2:12 pm

    More like the Monty Python Black Knight Award.

  5. 5.

    jake

    April 25, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    And I’ll have one of whatever Wilfred’s having.

  6. 6.

    Jon H

    April 25, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Ah, but you forget, Tim. We have the Green Lantern Ring.

  7. 7.

    Wilfred

    April 25, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    It’s called truth serum – it cuts through veils, opens eyes and enhances the capacity for wonder. Or you can just stick a bomb in a Koran and call it peace.

  8. 8.

    liberal

    April 25, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    I’d recommend stronger sanctions…

    Why?

    (1) There’s no obvious geopolitical reason why we should be enemies with Iran.
    (2) While it would be regrettable if Iran acquired nuclear weapons, if for no other reason that proliferation is a bad thing, Iran appears to be compliant with the relevant treaties, if you believe Prather’s columns over at antiwar.com.

    We really need to get back to the kind of foreign policy envisioned in that speech by John Quincy Adams:

    But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy.

    She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all.

    She is the champion and vindicator only of her own.

  9. 9.

    Punchy

    April 25, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    MSNBC says we’re going to war.

    July. We’ll hit ’em in July. Right before the Democratic National Convention. Strip every last bit of coverage from the Dems. The RNC slogan for McCane’ll be, “We need a Military Man during a military war. Vote for the experience of McCane”.

    And that should all but guarentee his preznitsee.

  10. 10.

    b. hussein canuckistani

    April 25, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    it would be spiff for you guys to buy me a Wii

    How would that teach you to be responsible with your allowance?

  11. 11.

    Zifnab

    April 25, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    Why?

    (1) There’s no obvious geopolitical reason why we should be enemies with Iran.
    (2) While it would be regrettable if Iran acquired nuclear weapons, if for no other reason that proliferation is a bad thing, Iran appears to be compliant with the relevant treaties, if you believe Prather’s columns over at antiwar.com.

    Ok, let’s not go too crazy here. Iran is a theocratic dictatorship with a history of human rights abuses. And while they aren’t the big bad boggy men Bush wants us to believe of them, they are engaged in anti-American politicking in Iraq.

    Existing sanctions, and the threat of future sanctions, can be used as leverage to ensure a certain degree of behavior from the country.

    By and large, however, you’re right. Today’s Iran isn’t that much different from today’s Vietnam. We have no real reason to want anything from them other than a healthy business relationship. For all its sins, it practices a democracy that is more free and transparent than the American-sponsored Sha’s regime or the American-sponsored Baathist dictatorship that once was right next door. And they’ve got a great deal of oil they’d be happy to sell us at not-unreasonable rates, if we showed more interest in exchange of dollars than of missiles.

    If we can deal with China and Russia without having a moral conniption fit, we can deal with Iran.

  12. 12.

    Dork

    April 25, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Threatening Persia with ground forces is plainly not on the table

    Dear Tim–

    You’re an idiot. Math flunkie, apparently. Our military has, like, almost a million peeps. There’s only about 160K in Iraq right now. That means, like, we have, like…a shit-ton more we can dump in to kill those….uh…Arabs…I think….in Iran. So there.

    Signed,
    GWB

  13. 13.

    ed

    April 25, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    If we can deal with China and Russia without having a moral conniption fit, we can deal with Iran.

    But, but, but the terrorists! 9/11!! Islamofascists!! Be afraid, Zifnab, be really afraid – they are Muslims, aaahhhhhhh!!

  14. 14.

    jake

    April 25, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    If we can deal with China and Russia two huge countries with armies and weaponry to match without having a moral conniption fit, we can deal with Iran a smackdown and promise to share the oil with our comoonist pals.

    Adjusted to reflect BushThink.

  15. 15.

    Dreggas

    April 25, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    Dork Says:

    Threatening Persia with ground forces is plainly not on the table

    Dear Tim—
    You’re an idiot. Math flunkie, apparently. Our military has, like, almost a million peeps. There’s only about 160K in Iraq right now. That means, like, we have, like…a shit-ton more we can dump in to kill those….uh…Arabs…I think….in Iran. So there.

    Signed,
    GWB

    Nah, dumbya has got it figured out, he’ll just sick the 300 on them.

  16. 16.

    chopper

    April 25, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    And I’ll have one of whatever Wilfred’s having.

    oddly enough, its a bowl of israeli salad.

  17. 17.

    JC

    April 25, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    One thing though, regarding those air bombs.

    The truth is, while the U.S. isn’t very good at BUILDING things, we actually could bomb the sh*t out of Iran, like they say, bomb it back to the Stone Age.

    People just don’t seem to understand just how powerful, and destructive, the United States capabilities are.

    Sure, we slice our own throat – watch oil go t0 300 dollars a barrel, and all other countries begin to array themselves against the U.S. – but simply in terms of CAPABILITY –

    we could destroy Iran.

    It would viciously immoral, another horrible black stain on this country.

    But let’s not pretend we couldn’t do it.

  18. 18.

    HumboldtBlue

    April 25, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Is it possible to field a navy?

  19. 19.

    Martin

    April 25, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Why?

    (1) There’s no obvious geopolitical reason why we should be enemies with Iran.
    (2) While it would be regrettable if Iran acquired nuclear weapons, if for no other reason that proliferation is a bad thing, Iran appears to be compliant with the relevant treaties, if you believe Prather’s columns over at antiwar.com.

    Petrodollars

  20. 20.

    Jon H

    April 25, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    Iran is a theocratic dictatorship with a history of human rights abuses.

    So’s Saudi Arabia. And half a dozen other countries in the region.

    And while they aren’t the big bad boggy men Bush wants us to believe of them, they are engaged in anti-American politicking in Iraq.

    I expect Saudi Arabia has fingers in the pie too, in ways that don’t help us.

    Yet we’re not getting ready to attack them.

  21. 21.

    Zifnab

    April 25, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    Is it possible to field a navy?

    Think of it like a nuclear powered, trillion dollar game of water polo.

  22. 22.

    Zifnab

    April 25, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    I expect Saudi Arabia has fingers in the pie too, in ways that don’t help us.

    Yet we’re not getting ready to attack them.

    Hey, hey. I’m just talking about sanctions. No one said anything about dropping bombs (who didn’t have an (R) after his name and a healthy share of Raytheon stock).

    Saying we should run off and lift every UN sanction we’ve got on Iran, because they’re really not such bad people, is a bit naive.

  23. 23.

    Svensker

    April 25, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    And while they aren’t the big bad boggy men Bush wants us to believe of them, they are engaged in anti-American politicking in Iraq.

    What the f**k are WE doing in Iraq in the first place? If Iran had invaded Canada, bombed the crap out of it, and was occupying Ottawa, I can imagine that the U.S. would just sit back and say “no problemo, we never liked the Canucks much anyway,” right?

    We are illegitimate invaders and occupiers. And we have no moral reason to object to our troops being targets in Iraq. As an American, I don’t much like our guys getting hit. But they shouldn’t f**king be there.

    Bring our guys home. Don’t start any more wars.

    Gas this morning: $3.35. Gas this afternoon: $3.45.
    F**k George Bush and his f**king war.

  24. 24.

    jake

    April 25, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    Think of it like a nuclear powered, trillion dollar game of water polo.

    So that’s where the ponies are!

  25. 25.

    skyler

    April 25, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    I love how the Bush people all told us that a stable democratic Iraq would lead to the destruction of the Iranian regime … and now its a big shock the Iranians are working real hard against that happening.

    Sort of like threatening them with invasion/regime change and then omg they are working on nukes to prevent that…

  26. 26.

    Jamey

    April 25, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    a theocratic dictatorship with a history of human rights abuses.

    Okay, that covers the US, but what about Iran?

  27. 27.

    4tehlulz

    April 25, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    That game would effing rock.

    No. Wii Curling would rock.

    Also, I’m not sure whether to be amused or appalled that it was not a U.S. naval vessel, but one of our contractors involved in today’s incident.

    Does Blackwater have a blue water navy?

  28. 28.

    4tehlulz

    April 25, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    BTW, just checking the moon phase schedule, it looks like late October would the most politically expedient astronomically opportune time to begin air raids over Iran.

  29. 29.

    Dreggas

    April 25, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    4tehlulz Says:

    That game would effing rock.

    No. Wii Curling would rock.

    Nah, what’s needed is a Wii version of leisure suit larry…talk about fist pumping action.

  30. 30.

    Grand Moff Texan

    April 25, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    That must be one scary fucking table. What’s it got, like, screaming cherubim carved into gnurled legs? Or, like, spikes or some fucking shit that, like, come flying up at you when you’re eating your mac ‘n cheese, ‘n shit?

    Whoa! Dude, they must be puckering up their Persian kiesters at the thought of that shit.

    Dude!
    .

  31. 31.

    Dreggas

    April 25, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    That must be one scary fucking table. What’s it got, like, screaming cherubim carved into gnurled legs? Or, like, spikes or some fucking shit that, like, come flying up at you when you’re eating your mac ‘n cheese, ‘n shit?

    How did you know what my coffee table looked like?

  32. 32.

    RSA

    April 25, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    Speaking of great things that should happen but won’t, it would be spiff for you guys to buy me a Wii and successfully lobby Nintendo to publish Wii Squash already. That game would effing rock.

    I think this is a better candidate for the next big Wii game.

  33. 33.

    scrutinizer

    April 25, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    Also, I’m not sure whether to be amused or appalled that it was not a U.S. naval vessel, but one of our contractors involved in today’s incident.

    Does Blackwater have a blue water navy?

    Privateers: a long, proud history.

  34. 34.

    Dreggas

    April 25, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    RSA,

    Yeah, that one definitely takes the cake.

  35. 35.

    Dreggas

    April 25, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    actually, with regard to the boat that opened fire, it’s not surprising that a ship would be armed and/or open fire on smaller vessels in that region or much of the Arabian sea/Pacific ocean. Especially near Africa and Indonesia. Piracy there is rampant. However if it was a ship opening fire on an Iranian military vessel then we’re one step closer to being fucktastically screwed.

  36. 36.

    Zifnab

    April 25, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    Dude!

    It bears repeating.

  37. 37.

    Davebo

    April 25, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    OK, I’ve had my wii for over a year now and was convinced the only wii game one needed was wii sports (that comes with the console).

    But that whole wii peeing thing has made me rethink.

  38. 38.

    cbear

    April 25, 2008 at 5:56 pm

    ”I have reserve capability in our Air Force and Navy,” Mullen said. “It would be a mistake to think we are out of combat capability.”

    WTF is the matter with you people…aren’t you watching the freaking news?

    A GREAT WHITE FUCKING SHARK just ate some poor asshole in California!!!

    To hell with Iran, I wanna know what Mullen and the Navy are going to do about these goddamn terrorist sharks eating people left and right.

    I say we nuke the shit out of those carnivorous bastards before we all die a horrible fucking death.
    Jeebus, you libruls need to get your priorities straight.

  39. 39.

    tBone

    April 25, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    OK, I’ve had my wii for over a year now and was convinced the only wii game one needed was wii sports (that comes with the console).

    Super Smash Bros Brawl and Super Mario Galaxy say “hi.” Also Mario Kart, which I believe comes out this weekend.

  40. 40.

    vwcat

    April 25, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    Everyone knows the bushies are going to start a war with Iran. My guess is they will spout and posture through the summer and do it in the fall. October.
    One reason is to give Dick a reason to smile as he exits the white house
    One reason is to leave the mess to the new president and make it impossible for withdrawl from Iraq anytime soon.
    Bush desperately wants his oil war to continue and will drag the whole middle east in it. He sees his only chance to keep it going is to start a war with his other axis of evil.
    Congress is going to have to get a spine and confront this lunatic and restrain him until Jan. 09.

  41. 41.

    Gus

    April 25, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Jesus H. Christ, one day it’s wine the next squash. What kind of elitist blog is this?

  42. 42.

    frogspawn

    April 25, 2008 at 6:51 pm

    A GREAT WHITE FUCKING SHARK just ate some poor asshole in California

    Didn’t we have a lot of that back in the summer of 2001? Who let the sharks out?

    Watch for comely young disappearing congressional interns- should be an interesting fall.

  43. 43.

    jake

    April 25, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    A GREAT WHITE FUCKING SHARK just ate some poor asshole in California

    ZOMG, a big shark that fucks whites!? I bet it voted for Obama!

  44. 44.

    Mike D.

    April 25, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    When the first few people blew off their NDAs and started leaking, I was like, “Big W, small I, small I. Oh *hell* naw. I wonder what it stands for? Cause no dumb fuck would possibly…”

    They would, though. Wee. Meaning small, if you’re a Ren-Fairy, or urine, if you’re three years old. At least the Dreamcast and the SegWay had cool product names. Maybe it’s being marketed in Japan as Giant Robot Shatter Testicle, I don’t know, but everyone who signed off on “The X-Box Killer — Wee!” should have a session of GRST in his future (or Schoolgirlish Sepulchre of Ectopic Necrosis in her future — women in suits can fuck up too).

    Fucking Wee. Teh ghey is like CO2, you know; it escapes into the environment and gradually ruins things for everybody.

  45. 45.

    Punchy

    April 25, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    A GREAT WHITE FUCKING SHARK just ate some poor asshole in California

    In which Cali prison did this unspeakable salad tossing happen?

  46. 46.

    JC

    April 25, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    vwcat Says:

    Everyone knows the bushies are going to start a war with Iran. My guess is they will spout and posture through the summer and do it in the fall. October.
    One reason is to give Dick a reason to smile as he exits the white house
    One reason is to leave the mess to the new president and make it impossible for withdrawl from Iraq anytime soon.
    Bush desperately wants his oil war to continue and will drag the whole middle east in it. He sees his only chance to keep it going is to start a war with his other axis of evil.

    Actually, a good question – if Bush goes ahead and does this in September/October – or even December! – leaving all the fallout directly on the next President’s head – has any democrat made any plans?

    You know how the military has all these “just in case” plans?

    It seems the democrats are always gobsmacked by “I can’t believe the Bushies did so and so!!” and have no response, other than look like outraged guppies, mouths formed in an “O”.

    Ya think SOMEONE in this party, maybe, was a boy scout – “Always be prepared”, and such?

  47. 47.

    merl

    April 25, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    It would be “spiff”? I haven’t heard that in at least 30 years. I tried that phrase at work and got a blank stare.

  48. 48.

    Martin

    April 25, 2008 at 11:58 pm

    A GREAT WHITE FUCKING SHARK just ate some poor asshole in California

    This is great news for Hillary!

    (I bet the shark was pissed off at having just been jumped by her.)

  49. 49.

    Martin

    April 26, 2008 at 12:34 am

    Another vote for Mario Galaxy. My mom, the grandmother of my kids is a Guitar Hero addict and it telling me how good Super Smash Brothers is. How fucking screwed up is that? Mario Kart looks good too.

    But Star Wars: Force Unleashed is what we’re waiting for. I’ve been dreaming of light sabre duels for 30 years. My son is very excited.

  50. 50.

    tBone

    April 26, 2008 at 3:00 am

    Fucking Wee. Teh ghey is like CO2, you know; it escapes into the environment and gradually ruins things for everybody.

    Sounds like Obama needs to give a speech about bitter fanboys who can’t deal with the fact that an underpowered console with a goofy name is slaughtering the competition.

    But Star Wars: Force Unleashed is what we’re waiting for.

    LucasArts has been the suck for quite a while now, but I’ve heard good things about this one – the Wii dueling mode in particular.

  51. 51.

    Wilfred

    April 26, 2008 at 5:15 am

    Not much comment on this travesty:

    Judge Acquits Detectives in Bell’s 50-Shot Killing

    A Queens judge on Friday acquitted three detectives charged in the shooting of Sean Bell, who died on his wedding day in a hail of 50 police bullets. He said that prosecutors had failed to prove their case and that wounded friends of the slain man had given testimony that he did not believe.

    First shot missed him, next 30 didn’t. It’s a pretty fair real life allegory of the attack on Iraq and the upcoming ones in Syria and Iran. The Judge didn’t find the prosecution witnesses credible (all black or latino). Not only didn’t the cops didn’t have to take the stand but there was:

    reading of the grand jury testimony of the three detectives from 2007 into the record during the trial. The readings were widely seen as something of a coup for the defense, with the detectives’ accounts of the panic and uncertainty surrounding the shooting coming across without the detectives having to undergo cross-examination.

    Sound familiar? The critical allegation of the cops was that they heard someone say he was going to get a gun – but they weren’t challenged on the stand. No truth to power here. This is the new America.

  52. 52.

    Dennis - SGMM

    April 26, 2008 at 5:48 am

    The saber rattling directed at Iran grows in volume with Joint Chiefs Adm. Michael Mullen’s Friday statement that the US military has evidence that Iran continues to send weapons to Iraqi insurgents. He further said:

    “When I say I don’t want to take any military options off the table, that certainly more than implies that we have military options,” Mullen told reporters. “That kind of planning activity has been going on for a long time. I think it will go on for some time into the future.”

    Want a preview of how smart it would be to attack Iran? Try this from Reuters (Which doesn’t accept links):

    Ship hired by U.S. military fires warning shots in Gulf

    WASHINGTON (Reuters) – A cargo ship hired by the U.S. military fired warning shots at approaching boats in the Gulf, the U.S. Navy said on Friday, underscoring tension in the region as the Pentagon sharpened its warnings to Iran.

    The money quote (literally!):

    The news helped push oil prices up more than $3 to $119.50 a barrel — within striking distance of the record $119.90 hit earlier this week — as traders worried escalating tensions in the region could eventually disrupt crude shipments.

    It occurred to me that beyond the strategic and tactical stupidity of starting a war with Iran, there’s the added dimension of economic insanity. How high will energy prices go if Iran decides to actively interdict the Gulf of Hormuz? That a cargo vessel fired shots at two small boats caused a three dollar a barrel petroleum price increase. If the Iranians decided to sink a tanker, what then? How will the rest of the world regard the US if Bushco adventurism causes a stratospheric increase in the cost of oil at the same time that were seeing stratospheric increases in the cost of staple foods?
    Bush may well succeed in making America a pariah, something that no other president has managed to do.

  53. 53.

    Dennis - SGMM

    April 26, 2008 at 6:01 am

    Addendum:
    The Iranians don’t even need to interdict the Gulf. Any US military action against Iran will push oil prices beyond our level to pay them anyway. The Iranians could continue to let the oil, including theirs, continue to flow at ever-increasing prices and let simple economics hollow out the US. They get rich while we go broke and our energy intensive society, which includes agriculture, collapses.

  54. 54.

    linda

    April 26, 2008 at 6:57 am

    One reason is to give Dick a reason to smile as he exits the white house
    One reason is to leave the mess to the new president and make it impossible for withdrawl from Iraq anytime soon.
    Bush desperately wants his oil war to continue and will drag the whole middle east in it.

    i actually think bush(cheney/war,inc) will use the public reaction — because there will be one; either to the attack itself or, more likely, to the gas/food riots likely to occur — and call for a state of emergency and effectively impose martial law.

    dick just won another round with the public revelations of the syria/north korea partnership and likely been able to deepsix any future agreements.

    with the economy on the verge of collapse, the energy and food panic being seen, this country is headed for a shitstorm they aren’t even prepared to deal with.

  55. 55.

    jake

    April 26, 2008 at 7:08 am

    The Iranians don’t even need to interdict the Gulf. Any US military action against Iran will push oil prices beyond our level to pay them anyway.

    And the Navy fleet working the Gulf becomes full-sized pieces in a game of You Sank My Battleship!

  56. 56.

    Dennis - SGMM

    April 26, 2008 at 7:44 am

    And the Navy fleet working the Gulf becomes full-sized pieces in a game of You Sank My Battleship!

    The Gulf of Hormuz is too narrow to allow the sort of maneuvering that the US fleet practices. The Iranians have a couple of hundred modern anti-ship missiles as well as five hard-to-detect diesel-electric subs. It would get ugly. Then there’s the business of attacking another Shia nation. Finally, having seen the benefits that US liberation has brought to Iraq, the Iranians can and will fight like trapped wolverines.
    Once again, attacking Iran is the most idiotic thing that Bush could do. I’d say he’ll do it in June or July.

  57. 57.

    slippy "Ripley" toad

    April 26, 2008 at 8:04 am

    I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  58. 58.

    slippy "Burke" toad

    April 26, 2008 at 8:19 am

    Now hold on, there’s a substantial dollar amount attached to these oil fields.

  59. 59.

    Soylent Green

    April 26, 2008 at 8:43 am

    I’d say he’ll do it in June or July.

    That’s not close enough to the convention. First wave of cruise missiles should go in one or two days before Denver.

    For the coup de grace, another attack by bin Laden in October. Bush’s people are meeting with his people as we speak to work out the details.

  60. 60.

    slippy hussein toad

    April 26, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    For the coup de grace, another attack by bin Laden in October. Bush’s people are meeting with his people as we speak to work out the details.

    So, this vaunted national security team, the Republicans, will tell us after we get smashed by another terrorist attack, that we should continue to put them in charge?

    If you were a large business and you got robbed, and your security team was found to have sat there, stumblefucked stupid, while bag-toting crooks streamed past them, would you not FIRE THEIR USELESS ASSES first, before even moving on to work out what to do next?

  61. 61.

    liberal

    April 27, 2008 at 9:00 am

    Zifnab wrote, Iran is a theocratic dictatorship with a history of human rights abuses.

    While there were some extreme abuses (e.g. wholesale slaughter of Bah’ai) earlier in the revolution, my impression is that it’s far less oppressive than Saudi Arabia. SA essentially has half the population enslaved. And there was that story (I’m pretty sure it’s SA) about a girls’ school on fire, and some kind of cops forcing the girls back into the building because they weren’t properly clothed.

    And while they aren’t the big bad boggy men Bush wants us to believe of them, they are engaged in anti-American politicking in Iraq.

    So? We’ve got no goddamn business being in Iraq.

    Existing sanctions, and the threat of future sanctions, can be used as leverage to ensure a certain degree of behavior from the country.

    But there’s no carrot. A few years ago Iran offered a pretty good negotiating package through a third party. The US wouldn’t even receive it.

    Not to mention that Iran is a natural enemy of Al Qaeda.

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