A bunch of random thoughts that don’t merit their own post:
1.) Ax Men on the History channel sucks. It may not be quite as bad as Ice Road Truckers, but it is bad, nonetheless.
2.) The Deadliest Catch and How Its Made, however, are both awesome.
3.) Two birds flew into my living room window one after the other, fell to the ground stunned, and flew off a minute later. If they were human, they would have been raced to the hospital and I would probably get sued.
4.) It is impossible to drink regular soda after being acclimated to diet soda. Of the diet sodas, the best are diet 7-Up, Diet Sunkist Orange, and Diet Rite Black Cherry. The worst is diet ginger ale. Diet Dr. Pepper isn’t half bad.
5.) I generally hate throw-away stuff like this, but the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is, in fact, magic. I don’t know if I can clean my shower any other way anymore. And with Febreze, even. OMG.
6.) Mrs. John Conyers is not very bright, has an ethical compass that trails behind 8th graders, and probably wishes this video had never been made.
7.) It is going on 30 years, but Stripes is still pretty damned funny. For some reason, one of my favorite parts is when John Candy looks at John laroquette and says “How’s it going, Eisenhower?” Such a breach of military etiquette.
8.) Canned asparagus is horrible.
9.) Tina Fey is much, much funnier than Amy Poehler. It isn’t even close. Tina Fey is also one of the best looking women in television.
10.) Railroad Tycoon II- Platinum may be the perfect video game. Or maybe Civilization III.
11.) One of my all-time favorite characters in a movie is John Lithgow playing Roberta Muldoon in the World According to Garp.
cbear
Thass a fac, JACK!
KevinD
Love Stripes. I remember beginning my Basic Training at Ft Knox in 1984, starting out in those same nasty barricks, and seeing that same water tower everyday. Good times…
Doonhamer
Doonhamer + 7
How It’s Made is great. Especially when they run a marathon (which is, like, all the time). I also like the Canadian bent of the show; it makes for esoteric (for Americans, at least) subject matter (curling stones!).
John Cole
Same, although when I was there it was the replacement center for people just arriving at Knox before being shipped to their basic training units over at Disney Barracks.
Redleg
I was at Knox for Basic Training in January 1985 (D-13-4). We were in the newer baracks.
kmeyer
Well, it’s Saturday, I’m off work and already a bit buzzed (hey, this is as close to a weekend as it gets for me), so I thought I’d respond in toto
1) Not sure. Ice Truckers sucks, for sure, but wince when has the History Channel not sucked? Like, 1991, right?
2) Ok.
3) Birds freak me out. When one flew into my house, I almost had a panic attack. If it had been human, I could’ve sued it.
4) I like that Diet Dr. Pepper black cherry vanilla thing. But my favorite is Diet Coke with lime. Try it if you haven’t.
5) Hmm. No clue. Don’t even wanna click the link. Not today.
6) Yes.
7) The only time I liked Harold Ramis as both actor and writer.
8) Not as bad as canned creamed spinach.
9) I dunno. I’ve seen Poehler be pretty sublime, especially in Upright Citizens Brigade. The Jury’s still out. But ask yourself, would you be as entranced with Tina Fey if she didn’t wear those librarian glasses?
10) Never played tycoon, is it really that good?
Krista
Aren’t they just the best for those pebbly shower floors? They’re also awesome for cleaning anything plastic, ’cause they get into the grain.
No shit. It shouldn’t even be called asparagus.
Indeed. That recent scene in 30 Rock where she was wolfing down the sandwich at the airport — that was classic comedy. And as far as looks? Yeah…I’d do her.
calipygian
1) Cant say, sounds like they suck.
2) Parts of “The Deadliest Catch” are staged.
3) You probably oppose wind power, too.
4) Try a soda with real cane sugar like Jones Cream Soda, Kosher Coca Cola or go to a Mexican bodega that sells imported Coke and you wont drink anything else.
5)I too hate the single use stuff, but I hate cleaning the bathroom more. Thanks for the tip.
6)I met John Conyers in my local Starbucks here in Alexandria, VA, one day. He was standing ahead of me in line. I said, “Excuse me, but are you John Conyers?” He answered, “Maybe.” I was late for work because Condi Rice’s secret service detail blocked me in my parking space outside that Starbucks once. Told them to move it – they were not amused.
7) Stripes is funny. So is Caddyshack. Buffalo Soldiers is another military comedy that is pretty funny, except it was supposed to be released on 11 Sep 2001 and the producers of a film about drug running soldiers at the end of the Cold War in Germany didn’t think it was a good climate for a dark movie aboutthe military.
8) Ever try Heinz Canned Spotted Dick?
9) Tina Fey IS hot! But neither of them is remotely funny.
10) Railroad Tycoon II may be one of the finest PC games ever. But Civ IV is MUCH better than Civ III.
Doonhamer
You and I began boot camp the same year. However, mine was Navy bootcamp up at Naval Training Center Great Lakes, Illinois.
That said, Stripes was a favorite, and still is. I wonder what Generation Z (or whatever we’re up to now) thinks of it.
srv
GTA IV epic fails on my friends PS3 and broke my cousins Xbox. Wondering who tests this stuff.
John Casey
So close, John, and yet, so wrong.
Diet Coke is the crack cocaine of diet sodas. Get hooked, and it never lets go. But in a good way.
Civilization IV Beyond the Sword is the best. Reread the last two sentences of the previous paragraph.
JC
D-Chance.
Big Brown first, the filly second in the Derby.
But the filly should get the roses and be recognized as the winner…
nightjar
Favorite scene is where Bill Murray gives the wac a grope with the ice cream scoop.
Krista
John and I have had this argument before. He still likes Civ III better than Civ IV. We probably have to wait for Civ III to try to legislate giving a sandwich to a brain-dead girl before he’ll reconsider.
John Cole
I would argue about this, but you are just so clearly wrong that it is pointless. Civ III is far superior in every way.
cbear
Thank a lot, jerkoff—some of us have DVRs.
You’re a Clinton supporter, right?
Dennis - SGMM
Civ III is the better game to me. Been playing Civ since the first release (On floppies, no less!). I have CivIV, including BTS, and it’s off my machine. I played it and played it then went back to CivIII.
However, as good as CivIII is, the best game of all time is still the original XCOM, UFO Defense. Ain’t nothing like that creepy feeling mid-game when one of your heavily armed troopers gets telepathically owned by the evil Martians.
Genine
I used to drink diet sodas, but I don’t anymore. Actually, I’ve cut soda out of my diet almost all together, except for a ice-cold can of Pepsi or a root bear every now and then. Then there are the times I need a Red Bull.
Mostly, I stick to non-carbonated drinks.
I’ll film it and the fundraising would go that much faster!
rob!
12)Obama won Guam today.
Genine
It comes with Febreze now!? How fun! I haven’t seen it here yet!
The fact I am so excited about that reveals yet another side of me I need to accept.
Oh, well.
4tehlulz
>>the filly second in the Derby.
Additional spoiler: She had to be euthanized after the race.
jake
Warning: This one does not have a happy ending.
Christ, the thoroughbred people need to re-think the breeding program.
Dennis - SGMM
Then Guam doesn’t count.
cbear
Shit, shit, shit….the filly Eight Bells finished second in the Derby, then collapsed on two broken ankles minutes later and was euthanized on the track.
Fuck.
Krista
This, from the man who voted for Bush…twice.
Yeah, I’m gonna bow to your superior judgement. Okay. ;)
John Cole
Hillary picked the filly
Just saying.
4tehlulz
>>collapsed on two broken ankles
Christ, that’s what happened? Horse breeding is seriously b0rken.
rob!
…you could make the argument that Guam REALLY, ACTUALLY doesn’t count, but if Hillary is going to use every stupid/dishonest/insane reason she can pull out of her pant-suited ass to try and convince people she could be the nominee, then Obama should rub every win–even if its by one friggin’ vote–in her face.
i think he should go around saying “Guam is a game-changer!”
onto Indiana and North Carolina.
Dennis - SGMM
From John’s previous post:
Now, not so much. I didn’t know that people on Guam were Americans, I thought that they were residents of an unincorporated American territory.
Martin
I had a hummingbird fly into the house a few weeks ago and right up to the top of the stairwell. Took a good half hour to catch it in a pillowcase. I’ve got good reflexes – can catch files in my hand without trouble – catching a hummingbird in a pillowcase is like catching someone elses thoughts. Having the 7 year old girl sobbing and in a near panic that daddy was gonna kill the honeybird didn’t help.
Bird was caught, though was stunned. Spent about 10 minutes sitting on the ground before flying off, apparently fine.
All soda sucks, by the way. Let’s drink acid! Yeah, great idea. Just get beer – it’s better for you. Canned vegetables in general are horrific.
My son agrees that RT2 is the best game ever. It’s hard without being unnecessarily complicated. Plus it has trains. What’s not to love?
Tina Fey is both hot and funny. Dirty Jobs beats all the work shows, though Deadliest Catch is pretty good (not grabbing us this season) and Beyond the Limit is pretty good too. Axe Men and truckers all bite. Looking forward to 30 Days coming back. It’s hit or miss, but when it hits it’s the best thing on TV by a mile.
For the record, I don’t endorse euthanizing Hillary after the race. Send her off to live on a nice farm, I say.
Zuzu
2.) The Deadliest Catch – can’t watch. Son is a maritime officer. I know it’s totally different, but… boat, ocean … can’t watch.
3.) A perfect place to put an Obama sticker, perhaps? Unless of course you have a few spare flag decals.
4.) Haven’t had soda in years, but am rather addicted to ginger beer. Something about the frisson with the sweet and then the ginger kick. Talk about never going back.
8.) Pickled asparagus spears are, on the other hand, rather tasty.
9.) Tina Fey gives off the smart-funny-klutzy vibe. Totally appealing.
11.) World According to Garp…OMG, I just this morning spent several minutes trying to explain the Nurse Jenny character to the three under-30s behind the counter at the day spa. Blank looks all around, then a helpful if insincere… “Oh yeah, I think I heard of that movie.” Sigh.
Dennis - SGMM
ROTFLMAO!
KevinD
Yea, it was the same for me. The old-style barricks was where we were held when we first got there, then we got sent to the newer diggs…”Scouts Out”
Martin
Pandering respects neither borders nor legal status.
John Cole
It isn’t just the breeding. They also refuse to use safer racing surfaces.
Horse racing is jam packed with pricks.
Bob In Pacifica
I like how the History Channel either brings in Biblical prophecy or Nostradamus or both for just about every one of their shows.
I still like Survivorman, but I just don’t trust Bear Gryls anymore. I’m always expecting to see a bed & breakfast in the corner of the screen.
I drink Go2 diet cola, which is the Safeway brand. It’s okay. I’ve been drinking diet sodas so long that when I drink regular sodas I can’t stand the sweetness. The ones with corn syrup are the worst.
I like Tina Fey in 30 Rock. I don’t like her pimping Hillary. Is “pimping” okay to say here?
Mmmm. Canned asparagus. Sounds like the perfect side dish for the can of haggis my sister sent me. Put ’em up on the shelf, wait ten years, then have at it.
Had my basic training in Fort Dix in the middle of winter, ’71-’72. I hear a quarter of my class came down with pneumonia. We were supposed to be Nixon’s first all-volunteer basic training company, but we were only technically volunteers. I was there because I came in #1 in Nixon’s draft lottery and “volunteered” for the draft. There were guys from Brooklyn trying to clean up their heroin habits, people in there who chose the army over prison, etc. A farm boy from Pennsylvania so dumb I think his family didn’t want him around to fuck up the tractor.
Is Civ III good to play on a laptop? If it’s not solitaire it’s Madden 08.
KevinD
You’d think I would know how to spell barracks. LOL
KevinD
I think some of those guys became our NCO’s.
Martin
I play Civ IV on a MacBook Pro – Core Duo, 2GB RAM. Runs great. Civ III should fly on a semi-modern machine.
Dennis - SGMM
If your laptop handles Madden 08 it’ll handle CivIII. That was the last version of the game with very modest system requirements. You can pick up “Civilization III Complete” for around forty bucks.
calipygian
I took a ride around the Delmarva peninsula a few years ago and stopped in all these little towns on the Eastern Shore. If you take a look at the war memorials in the middle of all these towns, you’ll see that they are all from World War I. Take a look at the names, dates and locations, many, if not most, of the deaths were 1) in the fall of 1918 and 2) at Fort Dix, leading me to conclude that those poor bastards got drafted and didn’t even make it across the Atlantic when they got the flu and died in boot camp.
I had pneumonia in boot camp in San Diego in the Summer of ’88.
Fwiffo
Tina Fey isn’t one of the hottest women on Television, she’s one of the hottest women in history. She makes Helen of Troy look like Helen Thomas.
Zuzu
More proof of Tina and Amy’s BFF chemistry:
Vanity Fair
rob!
turns out she wrote Tracy Morgan’s “Black is the new President, Bitch” bit a week or two later, and that was originally how her Hillary bit was supposed to end, but they took it out at the last minute.
she said in EW that she was surprised that the piece was taken as a serious pro-Hillary piece, and that wasn’t her intention.
she didn’t say she WASN’T pro-hillary, but 30 rock is full of pro-Obama comments, so…
t jasper parnell
I realize this is a typo; however, it strikes me as much needed word, although I cannot quite figure out what it should mean. And it has to retain the orthography.
bOrken:
1) to have worn a swan dress
2)?
KRK
My stepdad was a commercial fisherman in AK and WA. I recall several instances from my childhood of overhearing my parents talk about men I’d actually met whose boat had gone down or whose rain gear had caught in the net and dragged them overboard. Freaked me out though I loved being out on the boat. Fishing is a merciless profession.
Tina Fey is beautiful and funny. But Amy Poehler is married to Gob Bluth. So I think Amy wins. Come on!
KRK
3) Profit!
Genine
Yes, here and here only. lol
Adam
Oh, c’mon now.
Walter Peck: Hold it! I want this man arrested! Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act! And this explosion is a direct result of it!
Dr. Egon Spengler: YOUR MOTHER!
D-Chance.
And everyone loves watching taped sports events after it’s been viewed by everyone else on the planet live.
BTW, the Giants beat the Pats in the Super Bowl, in case you haven’t revved up that DVR, yet. Asshole.
D-Chance.
Thanks a lot, jerkoff– some of us have DVRs.
You’re an Obama supporter, right?
heh…
kate r
But what do you think of Dirty Jobs?
Dennis - SGMM
And while we’re all wasting time here, TCM is showing “The Thing from Another World.” Who can resist James Arness’ subtly nuanced performance as The Thing?
My mom took a bunch of us to see the movie when it came to the Saturday matinée at the Base theater around 1954. She had seven kids trying to sit directly beside her.
Brachiator
Kierra Bell, the young woman who took down Mrs. Conyers, is pretty good with reporters, too (Students receive award for schooling Conyers):
protected static
Ft. Knox, summer of ’88 – old barracks the whole time, though admittedly this was ROTC Basic Training, Camp Challenge. I’ll be the first to admit it was ‘baby basic.’
I honestly don’t remember the water tower one way or the other… Heat? Check. Red mud? Check. Water tower? Not so much.
nightjar
three words.
Misery
Agony
Heartbreak
g-rant
Agreed. Mexican coke kicks ass.
Downpuppy
Fresca is pretty good.
It also makes a great mixer if you have a bottle of red wine that isn’t up to par.
HyperIon
Ok, since we are free associating…
at seven, i watched “creature from the black lagoon” at the guam outdoor cinema (not drive-in) which was right beside the ocean. and it was scary.
interesting article in the seattle times today about how every horse in the derby was descended from native dancer or some other famous horse whose name escapes me…
Zuzu
My son once said that almost every ship or rig he’s been on has a copy of “The Perfect Storm” on board.
Redhand
The “Mrs. John Conyers” video was brilliant. Reminded me of Maxine Water’s deathless “You outta order, shaddup” uttered during the Bubba years. I just loved the girl student’s “But you’re an adult” line of question. Guess it takes a child to nail an adult when they’re not acting like one.
Mike D.
“Right? Niiice BDUs there, turdburglar. What the hell are those objects on their heads? Baseball caps? Seriously, OD baseball caps? No fuckin’ way. What is this, the Very Special Army where everyone’s a winner?”
This fresh perspective is brought to you by “those really looong M4’s they used to have in the Vietnam War days, the ones with the gay little 20-round magazines.”
Nevertheless: hottest MPs ever.
Dennis - SGMM
Those who haven’t been out to sea rarely understand how powerful and unforgiving the ocean can be. I was aboard a friggin’ aircraft carrier with the seas running so high that when the ship pitched forward her screws came out of the water. Granted she was an old carrier – older than most of her crew – but I was impressed despite.
b-psycho
Ever tried the Colombian kind?
*zing!*
BP in MN
Is Railroad Tycoon 3 any good? I wouldn’t mind picking it up for my Mac; at $20 it works better for a student.
Zuzu
He spent a few years on the deck crew of oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico. One of my worst moments was when a hurricane was approaching and he called to say the last helicopter had to turn back and he was going to ride it out. As it turned out he was evacuated, but he said the helicopter ride was the scariest part.
He was on a semisubmersible rig (like this) that outran Katrina… about 5 kts per hour top speed. The storm passed right over where they’d been drilling.
Now he’s chief mate on a drillship operating out of Singapore/Malaysia/Brunei. Whole different worry scenario… but his new wife is okay with it, so how can I stress?
Martin
No, it’s shit. They tried the whole 3D thing and just wrecked the game. If you have an Intel Mac, a copy of VMWare Fusion and the Windows version of RT2 is your best move.
Krista
Random thoughts: sour cream and onion rings (like Funyuns), are much better in theory than in practice.
I don’t feel very well right now.
ThymeZone
Or, in the world, even.
Mr Clean Magic eraser? Great cleaning product, but buy the store brand, it is exactly the same material and costs half as much.
Dennis - SGMM
You can be concerned. Thanks to heathen science, weather reporting is much better now than it was when that old bucket I was aboard tried to run around a storm but, going down to the sea in ships is never, ever, risk free.
SpotWeld
I’m holding off on awarding the prize until SPORE comes out.
Brachiator
I got caught up in the PBS documentary, “Carrier,” a surprisingly honest and moving documentary about life onboard the carrier U.S.S. Nimitz. It showed on consecutive nights from Sunday through Thursday. It is repeated this weekend in some markets, and will be shown as a weekly series later this year. A good review of the show can be found here, Life Topside: Six Months on a Flight Deck.
Zuzu
Right. Though in this case it’s the politics of the area that give pause.
I did mention he’s a grown man, didn’t I? Sometimes I forget.
Zuzu
I saw it too, or most of it. Thought it was well done, and really showed the claustrophobic nature of life at sea.
Jen
Now this is a weird thread.
The Magic Eraser is the best thing ever invented for wall scuffs. It looks so unassuming and ordinary, doesn’t it, but da-aym!
I’m really glad I came back out of my semi-retirement for important comments like this.
KevinD
Yea, those sucked big time. Then when I went to Germany later I got signed up for the Nijmegen march.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Four_Days_Marches_Nijmegen
Bad idea.
Svensker
Diet soda is teh suck.
Mr. Clean Magic Eraser? An actual product that really does what it says it does.
Canned asparagus. Really horrid. BUT, take some toasted and buttered homestyle white bread, spread with tuna salad, criss cross a coupla canned asparagus spears on top, pour over cheddar cheese sauce and broil until browned and hot. Eat where no one else can see you, looking guiltily over your shoulder the whole while. Disgusting yet delicious.
Dug Jay
This is very encouraging news from today’s London Times:
calipygian
Young Seaman Calipygian spent seven months on the Goddam USS Midway in 90-91. Horrible. I was berthed right under the mess decks, which meant that every time I squashed a cockroach laden with eggs in my rack, I was that much happier because of all the future cockroaches I got with her. Added bonus – my rack was right next to one of the main ammunition elevators on the ship. With the tonnage the Midway was dropping on Saddam’s army and Navy, that meant that the elevators were running 24 hours a day. That meant Seaman Calipygian got very little sleep. The Midway was also blessed with a 7 and a half degree list because of some design flaws, chief of which was that the angled flight deck was added as an after thought because the Midway was originally constructed during WWII as a straight deck carrier. So, everytime Seaman Calipygian stripped and waxed a deck, all the water would accumulate ankle deep on one side of the passage. But, after the shooting started, we didn’t have to worry about stripping and waxing the deck because all non-essential flamable liquids went straight over the side into the Arabian Gulf. I am probably personally responsible for the poisoning of half the coral reefs in the Gulf for all the stripper and wax I through into it.
Finally, the worst part of life on a carrier (besides having a work space that shared room with the port catapult which meant that planes knocked my electronic gear approximately 5000 times in a 6 month period) was the shred run. Seaman Calipygian used to have to do the days considerable shredding in an industrial shredder and then carry a huge trash bag full of shred from frame 15, down two levels, across the hanger bay to the fantail and throw it overboard where it usually hung around on the surface and looked like a floating mine. Sometimes Seaman Calipygian had to carry a couple of these big ass bags of shred a quarter mile to the fan tail. More than once, he left a little trail of shred, which on the hanger deck is called FOD, and then he would have to retrace his steps under the watchful eye of some hanger deck LCPO or Master at Arms and pick up all of that potential FOD under threat of UCMJ.
Fuck carriers. Amphibs are even worse – all the pleasures of a carrier with the added bonus of a shit ton of bored jarheads sitting around, shining their shoes, jerking off and getting in your way.
calipygian
If you think airstrikes are ever good, you are a fucking idiot.
Adam
Gee, I wonder if that Iranian airstrike will go as well as that “surgical strike” on a hospital they pulled off in Baghdad today. It’ll be pretty difficult to top blowing up the city’s fucking ambulance fleet. Hopefully the Iranians don’t read the London Times or anything.
nightjar
I say we drop a JDAM on their raggity asses. J.ay D.ug A.sshole M.unition. Now that’s encouraging.
4tehlulz
>>a “surgical strike”…inside Iran
It worked so well in Cambodia and Laos.
4tehlulz
>>smuggling weapons into the country
Along the Ahmadinejad Trail….
Demdude
Vernor’s Diet Ginger Soda – the greatest.
Great show – History Channel – Battle 360.
Thomas
Sorry, but How It’s Made really, really sucks. I think the only reason it stays on the “air” is that it puts a bunch of Neilsen families to sleep in the first two minutes, so they can’t change the channel. Crappy, repetetive synth music paired with robotic mass production.
ThymeZone
Okay, I am watching Bituminous Coal Queens of Pennsylvania, and it turns out that Carmichaels, PA is about a half hour up the road from where you are, is that right John?
Have you seen this movie? So far I am enjoying the hell out of it.
Thomas
Deadliest Catch, however, rocks. And I, too, have a crush on Tina Fey.
Dennis - SGMM
They are always our children.
I was an Airframes Cat Checker. It meant, at the time (Late Sixties), that I preflighted the aircraft for launch while walking backwards across the flight deck, changed the cat restraint and then knelt under the port wing (Just close enough to the fuselage to not be drawn into the vortex of the exhaust but not so close as to get flambéed when it launched) and then ran aft as soon as the blast shield went down to catch the next bird and do it again. I was the last guy to give a thumbs up to the Catapult Officer before the aircraft was launched. After doing this from dawn to dusk my job was to go down to the hangar deck and work on the down birds. Most of us would just pass out on a wing when the work was done. This was the regime during Flight Ops, which lasted anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. I was not the hardest working person on that boat.
DougJ
Tina Fey is also one of the best looking women in television.
I only watch ESPN, but even so, I think I see better-looking ones.
Fill in your own joke about the WNBA here.
I’m not really inclined to make these kinds of judgments but the only hotisization of Tina Fey by certain members of the blogosphere really bothers me.
Dennis - SGMM
De gustibus non est disputandum.
ThymeZone
DougJ, that might just be one of the weirdest posts I have ever seen here.
Remember ppGaz’s First Rule of the Blogotrons:
Never Post Drunk.
DougJ
TZ — my keyboard is screwed up. This laptop is on its last legs. I was supposed to get a new one two weeks ago. I can’t type at all on this thing if I’m drinking, which is why I now comment here so infrequently.
I stand by what I was trying to say though: Tina Fey is vastly overrated.
myiq2xu
I watched “Jaws” when I was 13 or 14 and that ruled out the Navy or Marines.
In the Army you might get shot but not eaten.
DougJ
The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man sending trying to send back soup at a deli.
myiq2xu
“Fili mi boni beli an sella alla his dominos.” – Sister Mary Elephant
DougJ
Fuck it. If I’m going to be accused of posting drunk, then I may as well have a drink. I’m in the midst of doing one of the most odious things my job requires me to do — writing up a subtle algebraic geometry argument which should (but for some reason isn’t) in EGA. I need a little something to buck me up. The same way the crew at NRO needs a drink before writing about how they could all withstand torture better than those British marines.
ThymeZone
Well argued, my good man.
Ahem.
As for overrated, I would say that you and I are vastly overrated. Tina Fey is sexy, funny, and has a show on NBC that has been picked up for another season.
We suck. Compared to her, we are stool. You know what I mean, right Dougie?
Dennis - SGMM
I wouldn’t throw her out of bed for eating crackers.
Krista
Hi Doug….long time no see. :)
I won’t ask why your algebraic geometry argument has to be subtle instead of blatant. There’s probably some sort of sincere and complicated reason for it that would go right over my head and make me feel utterly foolish.
myiq2xu
I used to work with a guy who served on the “Numbnutz” during the original Iran crisis. He said one sailor got blown overboard by jet exhaust. They recovered the body but he was probably dead when he hit the water. The deck is lick 8-10 stories above the water, and at that height youmight as well hit cement.
ThymeZone
Actually, it’s a joke that I toss whenever somebody posts something that is half baked. Or, you know, needs a little editing.
Or strikes me funny. Or whatever. I have no idea if you are drunk or not and couldn’t care less.
Just remember that I am a persona, unlike you, whose real name is DougJ and always posts straight material, no spoof, no nonsense.
Right? How am I doing? This is me on iced coffee.
Zuzu
Cali and Dennis –
I’m glad I’ve caught the show, so now I have a visual (sort of) to go with those descriptions.
Fascinatin’ stuff !
DougJ
That’s what they used to say about Tucker Carlson.
RandyH
“How It’s Made” (on Science Channel and Discovery) is one of the best shows on television. Count on our Canadian friends to make one of the most interesting and educational shows around. Period. Just awesome.
And the best game show ever – “Cash Cab” on the Discovery Channel.
ThymeZone
Uh, no. Do they have tv up there where you live?
DougJ
It’s because we’re going for that twee Belle & Sebastian kind of thing instead of rocking out.
myiq2xu
I guess I missed the post about posting drunk.
Zuzu
I’m sure you and the other not-Dougs here would appreciate this rendition of Ms. Fey’s inner party girl.
Yep, another Leibovitz masterpiece.
myiq2xu
By “they” you must be referring to your fellow inmates.
DougJ
Yep, another Leibovitz masterpiece.
All it needs is a picture of Billy Ray Cyrus looking on approvingly to complete the tableau.
ThymeZone
My booklet on successful posting is in its third printing.
I think you would qualify for a needs-based full rebate.
Sure, I print them by hand, but still, third printing. Huh?
Zuzu
I KNOW !!!!
wasabi gasp
Nobody gets to eat crackers in my bed. Nobody.
(‘cept maybe Cokie Roberts squirrel cheeked with Triscuts.)
The Other Steve
I’ve used the Mr. Clean Eraser on walls before. What’s this business about using it in a shower? I’ve never heard of that before.
The Other Steve
Was Eight Belles a foreshadowing of what will happen to Hillary?
ThymeZone
The Mister Clean Magic Eraser is really just a pad made of melamine foam. Nothing magic about it, the melamine breaks down into what amounts to a very fine abrasive and gets into certain dirty films that chemical cleaners cant handle as well.
Also, you can get the same melamine foam pads in grocery store brands now at considerable savings. These products are identical to the Proctor and Gamble Mister Clean product and cheaper. P&G didn’t invent the product and has no exclusive rights to it. They just charge more for it.
Works great on bathroom surfaces, and is fabulous on stoves, gets those burned on things around the burners right off. Great for cleaning your oven. Cuts right through grimy films on many surfaces.
KRK
Vernor’s is an abomination.
Melamine makes magical foam cleaning blocks and sturdy, colorful kitchenware. But it’s also the contaminant in all that recalled pet food from China. So probably not a good idea to let your dog eat the erasers (clearly) nor let your cat lick the shower after scrubbing.
DougJ
Will it take the arugula stains out of my granite countertops?
cbear
I’m not real sure what you got going on over at your place, but just to be on the safe side I’ve called the ASPCA to have a look.
Genine
I have a strange brochure for a new (at least, new to me) product called Life Step. Its a device goes around the toilet to help one use the bathroom properly. Apparently, humans have been doing it wrong for centuries, which has caused us a lot of problems. Who knew?
The best thing about the brochure are the figures. The figure using Life Step is smiling and happy while in the proper position. The second figure is sad and depressed and has a frowny-face using the bathroom like… normal.
The device is $49.95. I am just amazed by it. I stay open-minded so nothing much surprises me. I have to say, this surprises me. Going to the bathroom the wrong way? Really!? And the way they word it, it’s one of the most important things evah!
The mind reels… and then I laugh.
But since this is so stupid (imo), I felt the need to share it with you all.
KRK
cbear, my cat is thankfully uninterested in shower-licking, but I understand it’s a fairly common phenomenon.
ThymeZone
Not if you like the taste of cat urine.
Ever since I was a kid, I have thought that Vernor’s tasted foul. But some people seem to like it
ThymeZone
Faster than you can say Barack Obama.
Zuzu
My cat is fascinated with anything with water in it. Bathtubs, showers, sinks, outside puddles … if there’s even a drop, she must investigate. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve discovered paw prints in my bathroom sink. And I always leave the lid down on the toilet for safety’s sake.
KRK
When I was growing up, the toilet was our cats’ primary water source. Imagine my surprise when I walked by the open door to the bathroom one day and discovered one of them perched on the seat and using the toilet for its intended purpose.
Zuzu
Wow, I’ve heard of people training their cats that way, but never one who decided on its own.
Fraud Guy
My favorite diet is Cherry 7-up, which I preferred over regular Cherry 7-up even before I switched to diet pop.
Doug H. (Fausto no more)
Watched the Knights of Cydonia video tonight.
They need to make a movie of that. Seriously. Get Robert Rodriguez on it, stat.
Chuck Butcher
You’d be astonished at what lacquer thinner removes. Oh yeah, I buy the stuff in general grade in 5 Gal cans. But then you’d not find the stuff I was trying to get off my hands in your shower – well it certainly wouldn’t come off a human because of a shower.
Industrial contact adhesive and EPDM (rubber) seam adhesive. Contact adhesive is ever so much fun, you wait until it is dry to place together and it doesn’t stick to anything else, just more contact adhesive – that’s when you get to find out where you indavertently got it.
See, I know how to have fun and even get paid for it. I might be lying.
Jimmm
Anything-Dr Pepper tastes like ass. In fact, for Dr Pepper, tasting like ass is a feature, not a bug…
Diet Scheppes’ cranberry ginger-ale is simply amazing stuff.
John Lithgow’s career can be summed up in a single admonition to other actors who are in danger of following his example: More acting isn’t necessarily better acting.
Tina Fey in the flesh is a dog. No fooling. Before meeting her, I also thought she had that hot, naughty librarian thing, too. (Amazing what a staff of stylists can do to make a five into an eight.) But she’s pretty funny, even if 30 Rock has been kind of lukewarm coming offa the strike.
Hamlet 2 will invert the Fey-Pohler comedy axis (“The so-called Supreme Court can Suck. My. Balls.”) And, yes, her being married to Will Arnett totally ups the ante.
eastriver
I can’t believe I’m taking time out of my crash work sked to respond to something not even “worth a full post”, and that no one will ever read.
(Sometimes I hates the power the internets has over mes.)
1) Why did you watch Ax Men in the first place? Did you watch a full episode? Explain yourself.
2) How It’s Made is truly awesome. I found myself transfixed over the making of pipettes. TRANSFIXED.
3) Embrace your bird-hunting skillz. They will come in handy for the coming depression. Find a good recipe for stewed robin.
4) Coke Zero rocks. ‘Nuff said.
7) Stripes is a stitch. Caddyshack is First Folio stuff. Spinal Tap is transcendent.
8) All canned vegetables suck. (Prepare your PC gag reflex…) That’s why no one bothers taping Jerry Lewis’ telethons. (I can’t believe I just typed that.)
9) I wish Tina Fey was half as funny as she thought she should be. Amy Poehler is funny only if you imagine that someone is forcing her do comedy while holding her family at gun point. (That’s where the desperate please-help-me thing comes from.)
11) Other than Frank Oz, John Lithgow is the only man to voice Yoda. True fact.
Back to work.
Dennis - SGMM
Accidentally caught an episode of a show called “Master Blasters.” Another followed so I watched it as well. The point seems to be that if you put enough large solid fuel rocket motors on something and then ignite them it will Do Stuff. Weird.
Notorious P.A.T.
Tina Fey is much, much funnier than Amy Poehler. It isn’t even close.
I disagree wholeheartedly. Amy does all sorts of hilarious characters, and a spot-on Hillary Clinton impression. Tina is funny, but she annoys me too. Like when she did that ridiculous speech in support of Clinton on “SNL” then was shocked that people thought it was an endorsement.
kate r
and why doesn’t anyone whine about Smash Lab being a rip off of Mythbusters, even though they’re on the same channel? And what about all those Junk yard wars and robot battles? When will they all come back?
FYI Cathy Rogers, the person who came up with (and hosted) Scrapheap Challenge is so smart/sexy she appeals to a hetero female.
louisms
Ill second that. XCom and CivIII are the very best pc games ever! BTW, anybody wanting to buy XCom these days will have one hell of a time finding a used copy for less that a ton of cash.
b. hussein canuckistani
I’ve always thought that John Candy was one of the funniest comedians alive. Put him and Bill Murray together and it has to be a win.
I only saw one episode of Carrier (my wife does not share my interest in things that blow up other things) and thought it was pure treason on film. It showed, among other things, flawed sailors bitching about the navy, their miserable dirty boring jobs and what a mistake it had been to join. No one was pretending that they were a ship full of golden heroes ready to sacrifice their lives for Democracy. It was honest and fascinating, and much, much better than the weapons porn on the History Channel. I’m glad I give money to PBS, even if I am a foreigner.
Dennis - SGMM
Bitching was considered a sailor’s sacred privilege when I served. We bitched about the pilots, the weather, the food, the quarters, the Liberty, anything was fair game.
OTOH, when the ship loses one fresh water converter, as the Lex did on one outing, and the remaining one is reserved for providing water to make steam for the catapults so that you have to take a shower with salt water (Using salt water soap: think LAVA, only without the lather) after working the Flight Deck all day in one-hundred degree heat then bitching is the only logical response.
Scrutinizer
Scrapheap Challenge and Cathy Rogers were the bomb. I still have me DVR set to tape the occasional late-night early morning reruns.
Smash Lab, on the other hand, is even worse than Mythbusters for bad methodology. At least Mythbusters has engaging hosts. Smash Lab is just full-on suck from beginning to end.
marteen
Yes, I agree that Junkyard Wars and robot battles (was that the title?) were great.
I remember watching robot wars and deciding which defensive and offensive combo I’d want on my robot. It came down to: heavy armor (and low to the ground) and a big f**king smash hammer.
With junkyard wars, I was always amazed how they could get piece together a functioning vehicle.
calipygian
A bitching sailor is a happy sailor…Someone as stupid as Katherine Jean Lopez may buy into that “every service person a hero” crap. I’ve cleaned the grease off the top of too many leased reduction gears in the engine room of submarines to believe that horseshit.
The thing that kept me in was what I was doing when I WASN’T cleaning the piss, shit and puke out of some junior guy’s rack after a particularly good night out in The Gut in Toulon, France.
Salt water showers are teh suck. Especially if you have the old kind of shower head that only worked when you gripped the nozzle and pressed the button to make the water come out so as to discourage Hollywood showers.
Bill Belichick
Cole, you don’t know squat about the NFL, but right on when it comes to Women. Tina Fey is Hot!
Dennis - SGMM
One of the two best Chiefs I ever served under told me that very thing. He said that you had real trouble when the bitching stopped and everyone went silent.
As if you’d be luxuriating in that fine salt water freshness – ha! Even when everything was working well the Lex would often have to go on Water Hours to conserve water for the catapults. For those unfamiliar with the term, Water Hours means that drinking water is only turned on briefly at certain times of the day, all showers and heads are run with salt water no matter what the hour.
r€nato
I agree. Best are Diet Sunkist, Diet 7-Up, Coke Zero, Fresca Citrus Peach (I am NOT gay!), and Tropicana Diet Orangeade. The last one, is amazingly good.
Worst: Diet Pepsi (tastes like chemicals you would use to get the scum off shower tiles), Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper (ditto).
I can’t drink sugary soda any longer, either. Too sticky sweet.
Civ III is like crack.
MNPundit
Actually Deadliest Catch is mind numbingly boring, I try to watch it but can’t. Ice Road Truckers is much much more interesting, by fucking miles. The only problem I have with “How It’s Made” is that it replaced Mythbusters at 10am Central and so I can’t catch it before class anymore. Rage.
Charges should be brought against Tina Fey: she turned SNL into a Pro-Hillary factory violating campaign contribution laws.
Also, diet soda? I drink Coke Zero! I lie awake at night* wondering if I have bought enough to keep it from being discontinued because it’s the best diet soda.
*this is a lie
Punchy
This is a prOn movie, right?
frankdawg81
The very best performance I have ever seen from John Lithgow is his alien leader in Buckaroo Bonzi (perhaps the worst movie ever made).
He does a gibberish speech that combines the traits of El Duce and Hitler that is at least the equal of any great performance.
Zuzu
Gold standard.
mitch
Actually, John, I think the greatest computer game ever (strategy, at least) is Alpha Centauri, another Sid Meier joint which was supposedly what happens when that Civ spaceship reaches Planet. It had a really great narrative highly inspired by Frank Herbert, and the ability to custom make your own units, which I have no idea why they abandoned in subsequent Civ iterations. If you haven’t played it, you seriously owe yourself. The American faction are highly aggressive, ultra-religious, messianic war-mongers who abhor scientific progress. Kinda prescient. Also, it’s got mind worms.
Other great classic games are Star Control 2, Deus Ex, Fallout 1&2 (new fallout this fall, yes!), and Tie Fighter.
/nerd
protected static
I beg to differ – ‘Worst Movie EVAH!!!’ would have to be decided by a cage match between Howard the Duck, Howard Hawk and Love at Stake.
Determining if the presence of ‘Howard’ in two of these titles is a coincidence or not has been left as an exercise to the reader.
Rick Taylor
O.O A subtle algebraic geometry argument? What sort of job do you have?
MNPundit
He writes math textbooks obviously. Stop making internet faces.
Dreggas
Hey Love At Stake was funny shit, especially the “Screw Ewe” part.
Ax-men is meh, I watch it, liked Ice Road Truckers, Deadliest Catch is top for me and America’s Port on Nat Geo is alright as well.
Stripes is, was and always will be a classic. Watched it the night before I went to BCT at Ft. Jackson SC.