Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Republicans in disarray!

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

Bark louder, little dog.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

People are complicated. Love is not.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

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Reader Interactions

45Comments

  2. 2.

    Krista

    The BBC headline for that story was Great Tits Cope Well with Warming

    I wonder if the copy editor managed to keep a straight face.

    Those cheeky, cheeky Brits.

  4. 4.

    jake

    Intrest in ornithology and the environement among males aged 11 – 110 increased by eleventy million percent today …

  6. 6.

    RSA

    Birds don’t have tits, do they?

    Back when I worked in a restaurant, the cooks would announce that a chicken breast-based dish was ready to be served by calling out, “Chicken tits up!”

  7. 7.

    El Doh

    Birds don’t have tits, do they?

    In parts of the UK, where the study’s apparently from, “bird” used to be (is?) slang for a woman — q.v. “chick”.

    So…

  9. 9.

    frogspawn

    I believe the original headline atop this Beeb article was “Nude Playboy Airwoman Faces Probe”; it was up briefly on the morning of Sat, Jan 13 2007 before they changed it.

  10. 10.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    A 47-year study of great tits in Britain…

    I’m sure great should be modifying Britain here.

  11. 11.

    nightjar

    Back when I worked in a restaurant, the cooks would announce that a chicken breast-based dish was ready to be served by calling out, “Chicken tits up!”

    Sounds like an upscale diner. Mel’s Chicken Tit SPECIAL

  12. 12.

    joe

    A 47-year study of great tits in Britain…

    …found that they droop after a while?

  13. 13.

    El Doh

    I’m sure great should be modifying Britain here.

    It’s the name of a bird. There’s also a Blue Tit and a Coal Tit and quite a lot of others.

  15. 15.

    HumboldtBlue

    Cliff Schecter just finished a study of the west’s biggest dicks, needless to say, he wrote a piece about the modern GOP.

  17. 17.

    nightjar

    There’s also a Blue Tit and a Coal Tit and quite a lot of others.

    Oh, OK , like the Bushtit here where I live. And no that’s not a joke about the commanderguy.

  18. 18.

    SamFromUtah

    A 47-year study of great tits in Britain…

    Rupert Murdoch made the last 39 years of it easier with that whole Page 3 thing.

  19. 19.

    Dreggas

    El Doh Says:

    I’m sure great should be modifying Britain here.

    It’s the name of a bird. There’s also a Blue Tit and a Coal Tit and quite a lot of others.

    I saw a pair of blue tits once before someone undid the rope binding them. Come to think of it they were purple tits.

  20. 20.

    ThymeZone

    Oh man. When I saw the title, I thought, okay, no websurfing tonight, I found the material I was looking for.

    And then wham! It’s about birds.

    Another gigantic letdown. Thanks a lot.

  21. 21.

    JGabriel

    Scott H.:

    Sure, only the great tits get the attention and concern.

    Oddly, they had trouble getting volunteers for the study on witches tits.

    .

  24. 24.

    Krista

    I saw a pair of blue tits once before someone undid the rope binding them. Come to think of it they were purple tits.

    Ow. Goddamn, dude.

  25. 25.

    Dreggas

    Krista Says:

    I saw a pair of blue tits once before someone undid the rope binding them. Come to think of it they were purple tits.

    Ow. Goddamn, dude.

    That’s not what she was saying. Actually it didn’t really hurt her, it just was some heavy tying that restricted circulation for a bit. Not even any clips or needles.

  26. 26.

    D-Chance.

    Birds still fly south for the winter; ergo, it must still get cold up north. Although there’s nothing wrong with tits in the winter.

  27. 27.

    w vincentz

    I’m devastated!
    Here I’ve been spending endless hours constructing teeny tiny bras that would fit under the wings of these cute little birds, and now I find that they don’t have tits!
    Think of what can be learned at Balloon Juice!
    Back to my next invention, athletic supporters for GOP DICKS.
    What? They don’t have them either?

  28. 28.

    Dreggas

    D-Chance. Says:

    Birds still fly south for the winter; ergo, it must still get cold up north. Although there’s nothing wrong with tits in the winter.

    Yeah though it does get a tit bit nipply in the winter.

  29. 29.

    Dreggas

    D-Chance. Says:

    Birds still fly south for the winter; ergo, it must still get cold up north. Although there’s nothing wrong with tits in the winter.

    Yeah though it does get a tit bit nipply in the winter.

  31. 31.

    ed

    Oddly, they had trouble getting volunteers for the study on witches tits.

    That’s cold.

  33. 33.

    Fulcanelli

    An online teaser in this week’s Science: A 47-year study of great tits in Britain…

    Keeley Hazell.

    End of story.

  34. 34.

    w vincentz

    Keith,
    Two words:
    B-a-r-b-a-r-a W-a-l-t-e-r-s.

    Or, for those that don’t read as fast as I type, I’ll say it:
    Bawbwa Wahltuz

  36. 36.

    D-Chance.

    Fat liberal slob Bernie Ward… g’bye.

    Between the falling-down drunk Randi Rhodes on the East Coast and pedophile Bernie Ward on the West, it appears the pickings among liberal talking heads are getting slimmer by the day.

  37. 37.

    Brachiator

    jake Says:

    Intrest in ornithology and the environement among males aged 11 – 110 increased by eleventy million percent today …

    There must be some junior high school science class where a student with a wicked sense of humor is asking some earnest teacher, “Can we talk about the effect of Global warming on Great Tits?”

    And thanks to Wikipedia, one can learn that the Great Tit is Parus Major. Strangely enough, although the Japanese Tit — also known as the Oriental Tit — is Parus Minor, it is not known as the Lesser Tit.

    The Wikipedia article also has such great lines as the following (Great Tit):

    most Great Tits do not migrate

    Great Tits are easy to recognize

    Great Tits come in many races, but they fall into three groups.

    In the 1st Movement of Bruckner’s 4th Symphony several Great Tit songs are strung together in a very realistic manner

    A study published in 2007 found that Great Tits helped to reduce caterpillar damage in apple orchards by 50%

    And of course, the best reference book on Tits is Tits, Nuthatches and Treecreepers.

  39. 39.

    jake

    There must be some junior high school science class where a student with a wicked sense of humor is asking some earnest teacher, “Can we talk about the effect of Global warming on Great Tits?”

    Depending on where he is he’d either be suspended, expelled or handed over to the cops under the school’s Zero Tolerance for Humor policy.

    Best literary reference to a tit goes to Richard Adams (I think from The Plague Dogs): “The great tit is ringing in its tree!”

    In the U.S. they’re called titmice which says something really unpleasant about our attitude towards tits and mice.

  40. 40.

    Keith

    Keith,
    Two words:
    B-a-r-b-a-r-a W-a-l-t-e-r-s.

    What does Barbara Walters have to do with British tits? I know she’s sorta topical right now, but she’s about 75 and AMERICAN

  41. 41.

    Mike

    On a tree by a river a little tom-tit
    Sang “Willow, titwillow, titwillow!”
    And I said to him, “Dicky-bird, why do you sit
    Singing Willow, titwillow, titwillow’?”
    “Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?” I cried,
    “Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?”
    With a shake of his poor little head, he replied,
    “Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!”

    He slapped at his chest, as he sat on that bough,
    Singing “Willow, titwillow, titwillow!”
    And a cold perspiration bespangled his brow,
    Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!
    He sobbed and he sighed, and a gurgle he gave,
    Then he plunged himself into the billowy wave,
    And an echo arose from the suicide’s grave —
    “Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!”

    Now I feel just as sure as I’m sure that my name
    Isn’t Willow, titwillow, titwillow,
    That ’twas blighted affection that made him exclaim
    “Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!”
    And if you remain callous and obdurate, I
    Shall perish as he did, and you will know why,
    Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die,
    “Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!”

  42. 42.

    Brachiator

    In the U.S. they’re called titmice which says something really unpleasant about our attitude towards tits and mice.

    In the US, they’re also called chickadees, which says something really pleasant about our attitude towards dees and chicks.

    And titmouse goes back to 14th century Old English, not anything particularly American (Tit (bird)):

    The name titmouse is attested from the 14th century, composed of the Old English name for the bird, mase (Proto-Germanic *maison) and tit, denoting something small. The spelling was influenced by mouse in the 16th century.

  43. 43.

    Xenos

    Dreggas-

    I finally narrowed it down as to what manner of queer bird you are –

    Either the Agile Tit Tyrant, or the Lesser Tit Tyrant. (couldn’t ge the link to work for the book on Columbian Birds, sorry)

    Some direct observation might be neccesary to peg you correctly, but I am not up for that sort of intensive fieldwork!

  45. 45.

    b-psycho

    tit, denoting something small.

    Funny, since the phrase “nice tits” today refers to big ones.

    I wonder how quickly I’d get slapped if I said to a large-breasted woman who happened to be a bird enthusiast that I was curious how her great tits would feel in my hands…

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