It’s Noonan, but it is still teh funny:
“This was a real wakeup call for us,” someone named Robert M. Duncan, who is chairman of the Republican National Committee, told the New York Times. This was after Mississippi. “We can’t let the Democrats take our issues.” And those issues would be? “We can’t let them pretend to be conservatives,” he continued. Why not? Republicans pretend to be conservative every day.
The Bush White House, faced with the series of losses from 2005 through ’08, has long claimed the problem is Republicans on the Hill and running for office. They have scandals, bad personalities, don’t stand for anything. That’s why Republicans are losing: because they’re losers.
All true enough!
Crusty Dem
Ouch, it’s got to hurt when you get smacked around by Peggy “Magic Dolphin” Noonan. The poor Republicans can’t even smack back by telling her to go back to sucking Ronald Reagan’s rotting member (because they spend so much time doing it themselves).
Neal
I personally give Noonan a little credit for speaking some truth here and there the last couple of years. It’s actually gotten me to go read her columns the last few months.
Some bullshit still lurks in them, but there are some good moments.
Neal
I never want to see/read the phrase “Ronald Reagan’s rotting member” ever again. Ever.
Damn it.
Crusty Dem
Sorry Neal, I’m pretty pleased with that one. Really gets to the core of Peggy Noonan. Although I wished I’d used the verg “fellate”…
DBrown
Even brain dead bush whack gets it’s right
Bobzim
McCain visited a St. Albans, WV gun store this morning. More protesters than supporters. WV Democratic Party chief, Nick Casey: “Not one of these people behind me have ever had a gun taken away from them, but they have had health care taken away from them. It’s time we start talking about real issues”.
Get ’em, Nick!
zzyzx
Did you hear Obama’s response to Bush/McCain? This man is NOT going to be swiftboated.
laneman
Sorry Neal, I’m pretty pleased with that one. Really gets to the core of Peggy Noonan. Although I wished I’d used the verb “fellate”…
There is not enough bleach and brillo to ever make me clean again after reading that sentence.
Dennis - SGMM
Whew, that was a close one. I was afraid that she was going to write that the problem was the Republicans’ enthusiastic support for their born-with-a-silver-foot-in-his-mouth president.
Dreggas
No where is the transcript?
Ned Raggett
I read that Noonan piece last night and wondered what world I’d fallen into where both she and Rove said things yesterday I agreed with.
rawshark
They’re just rolling out the tried and true ‘conservatism didn’t fail, it was failed’, meme. Please don’t give her credit for it. She’s not shining an objective light on her party, she’s preparing the transistion to a new savior.
Alan
Except that conservatism has been defined down to mean “pro-life.” So basically Conservatives can do anything as long as they say the right thing about abortion and protecting all forms of human cell tissue.
Someone in a Protein Wisdom comment thread derided the GOP for this but was slapped down just like Right is slapping Noonan for seeing and stating the obvious.
zzyzx
It just happened like 20 minutes ago. I’m sure the transcript will be up soon. Part of what was so impressive was that he actually let himself show his emotion. He kept tying Bush and McCain together over and over again and hit them. It was great.
Mary
No transcript or video yet, Dreggas, but there’s a summary at TPM.
srv
The member has no clothes.
cbear
I wonder if, instead of a pony, it might help those nice Republican guys if they promised everybody a dolphin? A really cute little baby dolphin.
Cause, you know, not everybody likes ponies, and some people, including me, are scared of them. Plus, you have to have a really big-ass yard to take care of a pony, and some people, like me, live in apartments. But everybody has a bathtub, and we could keep the little baby dolphins in our bathtubs. And when they grew up, we could release them into the sea (or maybe a lake or pond) and that would make everybody feel really good about themselves—instead of ruining our beautiful minds by thinking about all those ugly dead people over in Iraq and those other faraway places where nasty brown people hate us for our freedom and our barbeques and our big cars.
I like to think happy thoughts and I can’t think of anything happier than little baby dolphins playing and making those funny little noises and doing that smiley thing with their mouths.
Thanks for letting me share.
nightjar
Seems like the “Lady of Long Knives” has poked a hole in wingnut gasbag of the Bush Boy King worship club.
From Protein Wisdom wizard Dan Collins.
Someone call the Wingnut Wahmbulace. Hee!
zzyzx
zzyzx
Darn, it didn’t seem to embed so watch it here!
MattF
Noonan’s theory, that the Republican party should have, somehow, separated itself from Bush & Co., is not even remotely plausible and could not have happened. I have some sympathy for the homeless ex-Republicans, and it’s reasonable to explore exactly how the takeover of the Republican party happened– but it’s done. It’s time to say bye-bye and go on.
Mary
Damn, but those YouTubes are getting speedy. I expect to see video posted before the next major event soon.
Garrigus Carraig
My vomit. Let me show you it.
Gemina13
Me, either. But I hear showering in carbolic acid is really, really bad for the water supply.
dr. bloor
I can’t imagine the wingnuts would let the Reagan man junk just wither away–I’d bet anything there’s a secret cryogenic lab at the Reagan Library, and they’re just waiting for the day they can give birth to a million Reagan revolutionaries.
In which case, Peggy runs the serious risk of getting her tounge frozen to the presidential popsicle.
rawshark
I have no sympathy. They cared only for the letter R next to the name. They elected anyone with an R without regard for policy or plan. Now they’re pissed because some of those R’s actually suck. Too bad.
The Other Steve
It’s fascinating reading Peggy “Out of touch” Noonan, complaining about how out of touch Republicans are.
She has never left the 1980s.
TR
That guy better look into cryogenics, because the Bush administration is going to do everything it can to keep those papers hidden for as long as they possibly can.
Neal
I don’t think I can handle this thread anymore. Between “presidential popsicles”, fellating dead people, etc…I say “uncle”.
4tehlulz
>>In which case, Peggy runs the serious risk of getting her tounge frozen to the presidential popsicle.
ZOMG DIEPLZ KTHX
Dave_Violence
Has BO done anything in his past that would open him up for Swiftboating? His nose is pretty clean, all things considered.
Crusty Dem
yeah, cbear, but some people are scared of dolphins, too. Didn’t you see that episode of “King of the Hill”? Dolphin anal rape is nothing to laugh about.
in other news, I’m bringing this whole thread down to my level (sophomoric). My apologies.
Dreggas
I am sure he was an early candidate and member of the Jurassic Prick program where several clones were made of his member. Sadly it also included his alzheimers thus came along the invention of Gingko-Viagra so when the cloned prick was revived it could remember what the fuck it was doing.
Rick Taylor
You’re joking right? Kerry opened himself up for Swiftboating by serving in Vietnam, being wounded, and awarded a purple heart. Obama’s main advantage isn’t that he’s kept his nose clean, though he as by and large; it’s that he hits back and hits back quickly.
Alan
Regarding the Obama video…
I’m amazed Obama had the guts to call out Bush for forcing a democratic election on the Palestinians and thus putting Hamas into power.
Billy K
His wife and preacher are black. He has black children. His dad is Louis Farrakhan.
Really.
PeterJ
Among John Fund’s bright ideas for getting voters to vote for republicans is this:
The Pity Party(tm) indeed.
Josh E.
The latest idea creeping up from the Noquarter sewage is that there’s some video of Michelle saying “whitey” in church that the GOP is just waiting to drop in October.
Bobzim
Kerry was Swiftboated because of Winter Soldier. Didn’t matter if the charges of the Swiftboat campaign were true or not, enough veterans were willing to lie because Kerry spoke up in ’71.
Fe E
I’ve actually said this to a blowhard right wing friend of mine. You know, the whole “the only reason this happened is because you cheered it on and worked hard for it every step of the way” thing.
Sorry ’bout the lack o’ hyphenation folks.
Neal
That’s not what I hear. Har har har…
Ah, Clinton campaign nostalgia.
Brachiator
It’s sad that these Bush true believers still don’t understand the degree to which they have been bamboozled. So much Bush Administration has been deleted, shredded, misplaced and shut away with spurious claims of executive privilege that the only “Bush Papers” Collins will ever see will be the back of a pizza box with a doodle scribbled on it by Dubya himself.
Punchy
Pure. Fucking. Genius.
Hire this guy on a national level. Best soundbite I’ve heard in months.
Punchy
Damn, you guys are ON today. This just made me spit pop on my desk.
demimondian
They weren’t bamboozled, folks. They’d like you to think they were, but they knew *exactly* what was going on. It’s just that now that it’s every man, woman, and zombie Reagan corpsicle worshiper for itself, they hope you won’t realize that.
nd, sadly, they’re probably right.
ed
Peggy Noonan’s “One shining city on a hill.” morphs into:
“One tarnished shitty shanty in a deep ditch.”
Thanks, Ms. Noonan and conservatives everywhere!
OriGuy
What Punchy said.
I’m looking forward to seeing a video of Rove getting handcuffed by the Senate Sergeant of Arms. Soundtrack: “Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?”
Neal
Zing! Good one.
NickM
McCain just called Obama’s reply to the “appeasement” smears a “hysterical diatribe”, which doesn’t describe it at all. He’s obviously trying to portray Obama as a Wright-like character. Most people won’t see the video of Obama’s speech; I guess this kind of thing could work.
But it’s a bit hard to accept that a man who calls his wife a trollop and a c#nt in front of reporters because she made a joke about his thinning hair should be accusing somone else of hysterics.
Mary
God damn it, Huckabee. And I had given you some credit for being a decent human being.
Err, isn’t it a tenet of responsible gun ownership that you never point a gun at someone or something unless you intend to shoot? So the implicit charge of cowardice doesn’t even make sense in this truly stupid and tasteless joke.
4tehlulz
Fuck their unpatriotic skulls.
Punchy
/jaw hits floor
Neal
That’s disappointing. He’s the one person over on that side that came off as a decent (albeit not too bright) human being during their debates – and now this…I suppose I should have known better.
Dennis - SGMM
Considering what happened to RFK and Martin Luther King, that’s a real kneeslapper.
Mary
But it’s not as bad as off-handedly calling a woman sweetheart, amirite?
I want to hear Huckabee’s ABJECT apology to Obama AND his family. Smarmy little fucker.
dr. bloor
I would imagine that it was understood among the attendees that it’s OK to make an exception to the “pointing” rule if it’s a Scary Negro.
cbear
Hell, from what I’ve been reading in the last year or so concerning Repugs and their sexual mores and habits, blowing a corpse wouldn’t even qualify as risque to your modern gooper. You’d probably have to dress ‘ol dead Ronnie up as Lil Bo Peep and smoke his joint on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial to raise an eyebrow in that crowd.
nightjar
Too often upon hearing sludge like this I wonder if there really is a God, and if so, why has he inflicted us with so many stupid sewer rats, AKA republicans, like Huckabee, Rove, and millions more. I really want to know.
Zifnab
Didn’t Romney try to do that at one of the Republican debates just a few months back? Is that why he didn’t take the nomination?
Dennis - SGMM
ZOMG! Zombie Republicans; “Diiiiiiicks!”
Zifnab
I don’t know if Huckabee has ever presented sufficient evidence for me to believe in God, but he’s going the extra mile to make me believe in Satan.
4tehlulz
MMMMMM…..COOOOOOOOOOOCKSSSSSS
cbear
Speaking of dead shit and dicks—-I’m still wondering what that fat bastard Huckabee kid was planning to do with the dick of that poor dead dog he and the other pyschopathic kid tortured and killed. Eat it for dinner? Give it to his father to pray over? Use it on his sister?
The mind reels.
Bobzim
Watch McCain buy a fishin’ pole! WTF’s he gonna do with a fishing pole?!?! He’s not gonna get a bigger trophy than Cindy, who pretends to be interested in bait!
Dreggas
butt-plug?
4tehlulz
Did he buy a wetsuit?
Ed Drone
That reminds me of what I wrote back when they were looking for some military records and ‘couldn’t find them.’
Inadvertently Destroyed
Air Force archives (inadvertently destroyed)
GI’s lives (inadvertently destroyed)
Good, clean air (inadvertently destroyed)
Medicare (inadvertently destroyed)
Forest lands (inadvertently destroyed)
Iraqi sands (inadvertently destroyed)
Third world health (inadvertently destroyed)
Our nation’s wealth (inadvertently destroyed)
Honest science (inadvertently destroyed)
Self-reliance (inadvertently destroyed)
Trustworthiness, cooperation,
The clean, good name of this great nation,
The Bill of Rights, a million jobs,
Integrity – we’ve all been robbed!
This is my message, and now I’ve sent it –
Inadvertent, Hell! They damned well meant it!
Copyright ©2004 Ed Drone & Bob Clayton
binzinerator
Sorry, Dennis. She did nail it, near the end of her column:
“Not serious about leadership, only followership.”
Duh. Although it’s a bullseye, at this point it was like hitting the broad side of a barn at 10 paces. The real question is, why the hell did so many wingnuts like her miss the obvious for so long?
And why now? I don’t read Noonan often, so I don’t really know when she started noticing the dirty ass-end of the elephant in her living room (and this particular elephant is made up entirely of the dirty ass-end). But if her return to reality is a recent thing, I can only apply her own words: “What two years ago would have been honorable and wise will now look craven.”
By the way, Dennis, don’t worry. Noonan may have figured it out, but the gooper leadership is still in fantasy land like Bush or in denial as shown in Noonan’s Clark Reed quote:
These gooper fuckers simply cannot stop themselves from being stupid or criminal or both. It makes sense, somehow, that the gooper fucker born with the silver foot in his mouth is a dry drunk.