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You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2008 / The GOP In Three Easy Steps

The GOP In Three Easy Steps

by John Cole|  May 16, 20083:13 pm| 33 Comments

This post is in: Election 2008, Republican Stupidity

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Step 1.) Play Fiddle
Step 2.) Watch Rome Burn
Step 3.) Focus on “pocketbook issues”:

Something big is missing from House Republicans’ 2008 campaign agenda for American families, and that is no accident.

There’s not a single mention in the 47-point program of such red-meat GOP issues as banning abortion, outlawing same-sex marriage, allowing prayer in the public schools, banning flag burning and protecting the Pledge of Allegiance. Instead, the plan focuses on Republican-introduced ideas as allowing private sector workers to take compensatory time instead of premium pay for overtime worked (HR 6025) or permitting full tax deductibility for most medical expenses (HR 636).

In an effort to appeal to moderates in their uphill push to retake the House, Republicans have pushed divisive social issues off center stage and replaced them with a host of pocketbook items they hope will appeal to working women, moderates and even some Democrats.

“This may not be the family agenda you expected from Republicans,’’ said Rep. Kay Granger , R-Texas, who was in charge of formulating the “American Families Agenda,’’ the first part of the party’s “Change You Deserve’’ 2008 platform. “It is a change. In the past, the Republican agenda for families was about social issues. This is more straight-forward, talking to families where they are, not where you want them to be,’’ Granger added.

Excellent. Not only is this transparently an election year ploy, but it has the added benefit of infuriating the base. I predict the usual suspects will be frothing about the sell-outs in the GOP betraying “true conservative issues.” I can’t wait for the inevitable K-LO freak-out.

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33Comments

  1. 1.

    4tehlulz

    May 16, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    I think this pathetic attempt at mimicking the Contract with America puts the lie to the saying “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

    Cuz if I was Newt, I would be pretty annoyed at this half-assed attempt to redo 1994.

  2. 2.

    yet another jeff

    May 16, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    Imitation is the sincerest form of pandering.

    Yeah, you go to the soup kitchen with the family you have, not the family you want to have.

  3. 3.

    buzzrd

    May 16, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    Where’s the gay bashing?! Where’s the denial of rights to gays?! Where’s the 1 man 1 woman (oops – 1 man / multiple women) definition of marriage?

  4. 4.

    Jay B.

    May 16, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    Feh, Newt himself wants them to pursue such daring policies as reforming the Census Bureau and the FAA. Revolution!

    Down in flames.

  5. 5.

    Ninerdave

    May 16, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    Not only is this transparently an election year ploy

    Well so are “…red-meat GOP issues as banning abortion, outlawing same-sex marriage, allowing prayer in the public schools, banning flag burning and protecting the Pledge of Allegiance.”

    Brought up to whip the base up to vote, then never heard from again. I really wonder if the rightwing understands what fools they get played for every two years.

  6. 6.

    Dreggas

    May 16, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    4tehlulz Says:

    I think this pathetic attempt at mimicking the Contract with America puts the lie to the saying “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

    Cuz if I was Newt, I would be pretty annoyed at this half-assed attempt to redo 1994.

    Heh, we should sue for breech of contract.

  7. 7.

    RSA

    May 16, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Okay, I went looking for this agenda, but couldn’t find it online. Too bad. . .

    What I did find, which I thought a bit funny, was the RNC web site, which has a rotating banner at the top of the page: half a dozen attacks on Obama and one in support of McCain. The DNC site, for comparison, has two static crowd photos, one for Obama and the other for Clinton. Republicans don’t seem to have much this election season except running away from their own and attacking the opposition.

  8. 8.

    Z

    May 16, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    i can haz platsform?

    -RNC

  9. 9.

    nightjar

    May 16, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    I predict the usual suspects will be frothing about the sell-outs in the GOP betraying “true conservative issues.”

    Greater wingnuttia has already latched on to the meme that Bush spent too much and that’s why the GOP brand is in the shitter. Not Iraq, not the wingnut mafia, perversion inc. not gutter politics and I got mine, now fuck off little people mentality.

    They didn’t start whining until the dems voters handed them their ass in 2006. Now it’s selective soul searching and fingers pointing ever which way, when all they have to do is look in the mirror for the villain. They cheerleaded Bush et al.. every single fucking step of the way with only a few faint temporary moans at best.

    Let them stew in their phoney ideological juices and their denial. By the time they figure out whats wrong we will have took their cookies and ett them. Sorry for the food metaphor, it’s almost dinner and I’m hungry.

  10. 10.

    Zifnab

    May 16, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    Hey, these ideas look like very tame and rather lukewarm versions of Democratic Platforms. I guess when you can’t win on your home court – war, economics, terrorism – you go off and see if you can beat the opponent at his own game.

    Full deduction of medical expenses isn’t something that should have been passed twenty years ago. And I somehow doubt the GOP is going to fair any better playing Democrat-Lite than the Democrats did when they pitched the DLC tent. But its nice to see the right wing finally warming up to the general Democratic Platform. It’ll be extra hard for this minority party to resist the wave of populist legislation coming if they’ve already started to give ground now.

    Quick, someone bring out another vote on SCHIP. I want to see how long this Republican commitment to principles lasts.

  11. 11.

    Dennis - SGMM

    May 16, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    A few days ago, after the Dems took another “safe” seat from the Republicans, one of the Repubs said something to the effect of “We can’t allow these Democrats to run as conservatives.” I guess that they can allow themselves to run as liberals.

    These people have cock-seeking mouths.

  12. 12.

    Punchy

    May 16, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    In an effort to appeal to moderates in their uphill push to retake the House,

    Ha ha ha ha! Not only are they NOT going to retake the House, some peeps (cant remember who I read on this) have them losing another 20 or more. Fuck, we already got 3 and it aint even November.

    “uphill push” = the % chance I nail Brittany Murphy

  13. 13.

    Crusty Dem

    May 16, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    wow, this is the most anti-Rovian move possible, rather than “motivate the base”, this is “fuck the base”. If they follow through on this, they could lose everything (which will happen anyway, but this could squeeze everything into one election cycle). I’m thinking 280-155 in the house, 59-41 in the senate.

    This is madness, I love it.

  14. 14.

    Zifnab

    May 16, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    Bleh. Full deduction of medical expenses is something that should have been passed twenty years ago.

    Greater wingnuttia has already latched on to the meme that Bush spent too much and that’s why the GOP brand is in the shitter. Not Iraq, not the wingnut mafia, perversion inc. not gutter politics and I got mine, now fuck off little people mentality.

    Six of one, half a dozen of the other. You can’t spend half a trillion dollars in Iraq and then come home to tell everyone who fiscally conservative you are. You can’t hemorrhage $285 billion dollars in defense spending while trumpeting your managerial skills. A $250 million Bridge To Nowhere does nothing to polish your small government street creds. Libertarian minded Americans (like our esteemed Blog Lord John Cole) may not like Democrat big government solutions to problems, but at least they spend money on stuff and don’t just piss it to the wind.

  15. 15.

    Face

    May 16, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    Quick, someone bring out another vote on SCHIP. I want to see how long this Republican commitment to principles lasts.

    Word.

  16. 16.

    Jen

    May 16, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    Well, this seems like a great time to diarywhore some thoughts I started here and fleshed out a bit.

  17. 17.

    Dreggas

    May 16, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    Crusty Dem Says:

    wow, this is the most anti-Rovian move possible, rather than “motivate the base”, this is “fuck the base”. If they follow through on this, they could lose everything (which will happen anyway, but this could squeeze everything into one election cycle). I’m thinking 280-155 in the house, 59-41 in the senate.

    This is madness, I love it.

    Gov Lepetomane: We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs gentlemen!

  18. 18.

    jake

    May 16, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    “It is a change. In the past, the Republican agenda for families was about social issues. This is more straight-forward, talking to families where they are, not where you want them to be,’’ Granger added.

    Wow! What a most ‘stonishing clever concept. In a few weeks they’ll discover how to make fire and there will be no stopping the ReJuggernaut.

    Honestly, they’re like the slacker who expects a ticker-tape parade when he’s less than an hour late for work.

  19. 19.

    null pointer exception

    May 16, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    heh. That’s a fun diary, Jen.

  20. 20.

    Thepanzer

    May 16, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    These fucktards wouldn’t have to try so hard to “reach out to moderates” if they hadn’t run all of them out of the Republican party. Who could have anticipated that purging your party of everyone but frothing bigots and nutjobs would make it tough to get elected, especially after 8 years of being disastrously wrong on every issue? I just laugh my ass off when I hear them talk about “change” in this election and their big changes are repackaging all the old EPIC FAIL stratagems with new slogans.

  21. 21.

    Cain

    May 16, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    wow, this is the most anti-Rovian move possible, rather than “motivate the base”, this is “fuck the base”. If they follow through on this, they could lose everything (which will happen anyway, but this could squeeze everything into one election cycle). I’m thinking 280-155 in the house, 59-41 in the senate.

    I for one would say “Good!”. Repudiate the base. Fuck them, they should stay home. Maybe then the republicans might actually get serious about governing instead of concentrating on stupid wedge issues. Watching Dobson being powerless would make my day.

    goddam fuckwits.

    cain

  22. 22.

    Alan

    May 16, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    No one says it better than Protein Wisdom’s own Dipshit Dan.:

    Sorry, but LIFE ought to have the broadest possible application. When you redefine it for the sake of convenience, you enter onto a very dark path. If Republicans had more courage of their convictions, they would have more convictions. Unfortunately, as Democrats have become more overtly socialist, Republicans have become Democrats.

  23. 23.

    Kevin

    May 16, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    as Democrats have become more overtly socialist,

    WTF? What planet is that clown from?

  24. 24.

    w vincentz

    May 16, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    One thing I could never quite understand about all this GOP stuff about how precious life is, like that cute little embryo that must not be destroyed…how come they don’t care about real live breathing human children that get killed by cruise missiles with USA painted on their sides?

  25. 25.

    SamFromUtah

    May 16, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    how come they don’t care about real live breathing human children that get killed by cruise missiles with USA painted on their sides?

    That’s where the real parsing and weasalage come in, along with the abusive-boyfriend stuff. “They made us bomb them, we didn’t want to.” “It’s not innocent life we’re snuffing out with the daisy-cutters.” In some cases, “they’re not really human.”

  26. 26.

    w vincentz

    May 16, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    Thanks Sam for ‘splainin’. Seems to me that dead children, whether we intended their demise or they were only collateral, are just as nonbreathing as those “oh-so-precious-fetuses” ane medical waste embryos that need so much GOP protection. Shit, I’ve heard that US manufature mines have been planted near school playgounds. And those cluster bombs sure are cool toys for youngin’s to find and play with. These GOP motha fuckers are so filled with contradictions. Look at what REVEREND Huckabee ( a pastor for Jesus fuckin’ Christ) said today about Barack O at the NRA. (Oh, I should shut up about guns, God…might make me bitter). This shit pisses me off.
    Thanks for allowing me to rant. I feel better.

  27. 27.

    jake

    May 16, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    Sorry, but LIFE ought to have the broadest possible application.

    We could redefine LIFE to include asphalt and Dan still wouldn’t have one.

    If Republicans had more courage of their convictions, they would have more convictions.

    Bwaha. The Brown Squirts are thisclose to speaking in LOLCAT: I Kan Haz Moar Kurage ov UR Conviktyuns, plz?

    Actually, more Republican convictions sounds good to me.

  28. 28.

    Conservatively Liberal

    May 16, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    I think the right is scared that the ‘WOLF!! WOLF!!’ social ‘issues’ are not going to cut it with the right-leaning, middle of the road voters this cycle. That they have finally pissed off a majority of Americans, and that they are so desperate for ‘change’ that even the right-leaning center voters are looking at Obama as a candidate that may help to fix things.

    So now there is this dive by the right to the center, to issues that may matter more to real people. But this time it is too late, and with the way they have built up their base they are only going to piss the hardliners off royally. expect major fuming at places like RedState as this ‘change’ meme evolves.

    All the Democrats have to do is point at the right and say:

    ‘Sure they are interested in change now. But what the right wants you to forget is why that change is needed, why you the people know that things can’t go on like they have for the last seven years; because the right has screwed things up so badly that we desperately need that change. The right is seeing how ‘change’ resonates with the public, they see that people are so sick of them and their policies that they can see the train wreck coming.

    So now they want you to believe that they are the agent of the change that you are demanding. Do you think a leopard can change its spots? Do they think that after all of the times you have been lied to, misled and deceived by the right, as often as they have abused the trust you put in them when they were voted in to office, that you are going to believe them?

    No way. Change is coming, and the right will not be the ones who will bring it. The American people will.

    This shit almost writes itself.

  29. 29.

    Chris Johnson

    May 16, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    WTF? What planet is that clown from?

    Vermont. Our senator Bernie Sanders is a Socialist. We gave him something like 66% of the vote- we loves our Bernie.

    Admittedly Leahy kicks even more ass, but it’s great to have Bernie in there too. Socialist isn’t a buzzword, it’s a political philosophy. Bernie’s slant on it is a lot more working-class, bottom-up than your authoritarian, Stalinist socialism.

    I think we’ve had enough authoritarianism for a lifetime in this country, so don’t expect your American socialists to be authoritarian or Stalinist. After Bush, that whole approach is soooo discredited. We’re talking more a Chavez, working-class democratic socialism rather than top-down Stalinist or Marxist socialism.

    Interestingly, a primary motivator of American socialism since the sixties has been outrage at the oppression of American blacks…

  30. 30.

    Rome Again

    May 16, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Did somebody say Rome?

  31. 31.

    Rome Again

    May 16, 2008 at 7:14 pm

    Heh, we should sue for breech of contract.

    Breech of Contract: that’s a contract where the ass is put before the cart? Just trying to figure out what sort of breech you mean.

    I was a breech baby, my ass came first too.

  32. 32.

    Soylent Green

    May 16, 2008 at 7:32 pm

    Seems like years ago but it’s only been about four months since McCain put away the nomination. We saw a shitstorm of protest from the Republican base, the wingnuts and fundies and “true conservatives” (whatever that means today) swearing on their momma’s graves they would never vote for Johnny Mac.

    Then they circled the wagons and put their hatred of McCain into that big dark closet in their minds that Repubs always use to hide unpleasant truths. It happened fast, and now they are presenting a more or less unified front on behalf of their guy.

    So what I want to know is how strong is the padlock that’s keeping that closet locked? If the party tries to move to the center as its only hope of winning moderates and independents, will the true believers lose it? How much longer can they suck it up and keep up the charade of being unified?

  33. 33.

    laneman

    May 17, 2008 at 4:15 am

    “It is a change. In the past, the Republican agenda for families was about social issues. This is more straight-forward, talking to families where they are, not where you want them to be,’’

    Because you know that the whole ideal of ‘conservative’ is basically I NEED CONTROL of you.

    That is a very telling quote. And it scares me.

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