Newsmax brings the news good warmongers everywhere want to hear:
As Barack Obama and John McCain thrash it out over how they would deal with Iran, voices from inside Iran are weighing in with an unusual message: If the United States strikes hard and fast, we will support you.
Emissaries from inside Iran have been meeting with Iranian exiles in Europe, the United States, and elsewhere in recent weeks to deliver this provocative message, which they claim comes from pro-U.S. dissidents at the upper-most levels of the regime.
Were any of them named Chalabi? And has anyone checked to see what Judy Miller has to say about this?
Crusty Dem
I doubt Chalabi is one of them, he’s on the Iranian side. Perhaps the Shah’s family wants to come out of exile, I’m sure the Iranians would love to have them back in charge (memo to state dept – that is a joke).
Ned Raggett
Newsmax is truly filling the void the Weekly World News left us.
RampantSexism
This is really encouraging.
b. hussein canuckistani
Talleyrand on the Bourbons: “The forgot nothing, and they learned nothing”. Where’s the guillotine when you need it?
Elroy's Lunch
Someone should check to see if Newsmax is getting their stories from an unnamed source in the Old Executive Office Building.
Crusty Dem
Ok, I read the article and I am actually astounded. Not easy to do. The headline says it all – “Iranians Would Welcome Airstrikes, Sources Say”. Has anyone, ever, in the course of human history, said “I would really like someone to fly some planes over where I live and bomb the shit out of it”. I’m gonna guess the answer to that is NO. Anyone with a brain has to look at the headline and say their “Sources” are complete bullshit.
And that’s even if you completely forgot how much everyone in Iraq wanted us to invade in 2002 and 2003.
The Moar You Know
Well, so much for any objections I have; if Newsmax says the Iranians want it, who am I to say no? Let’s help those poor Iranians! With bombs!
/Bushbot
Dennis - SGMM
The Pahlavi family finances Iranian groups in this country whose goal is to restore the Pahlavi’s to the Peacock Throne. I know because one of the groups hired me to do a website for them some years back. From what little I know, I’d say that the Pahlavi’s aren’t involved in this. More likely, it’s the neocons trying to gin up another excuse war after Bushco’s recent flop at blaming the Iranians for arming Iraqi militias.
Victor Von Doom
How can you dispute the information from their double secret extra plus reliable source? He even has a cool codename!
Screwball!
Face Front, True Believers!
Gus
Is Judith Miller writing for NewsMax now?
Dennis - SGMM
With the number of countries clamoring for the benefits of a good bombing (Elements within Zimbabwe have recently asked to be bombed but, they will settle for a few artillery barrages.)we must prioritize. I suggest an essay contest.
nightjar
You have to hand it to Chalibi, he snookered the worlds only superpower into acting as his personal S.W.A.T and jump headfirst into a seething cauldron of murder and mayhem. How many two bit grifters can claim a sting like that?
As for the neocons, they will get one more chance at playing their own life like personal game of Risk, only with other peoples real blood and treasure. Welcome to hell and 300 dollar barrels of oil.
Crusty Dem
Dennis – SGMM, that wasn’t really a serious suggestion (but then, it’s not a serious article), unlike many former dictators/strongmen/US puppets, I never had the opinion that the Shah’s family was looking to leverage a way back, particularly with the direction things have taken there. Still, it’s not particularly hard to imagine some cousin or nephew capturing the ear of some neocon dimwit (probably in the vice president’s office) and filling his head with grand stories about all the love Iranians secretly hold for the former benevolent strongman.
Isn’t there a Vietnam analogy somewhere in here with a line like “We had to bomb the village because they want us to, FOR FREEDOM!!”.
Con Mhac
Did someone call for an air drop of hammers?
cleek
fixt
Librarian
Did the concept of “nationalism” suddenly cease to exist when I wasn’t looking? Or maybe these idiots were playing hooky when it was taught in school. Anybody with even a elementary knowledge of history knows that when you attack a country, any country, its people will rally around the government, no matter how much they might hate it. The prime example of this is Hitler’s attack on Russia. Iran, especially, is a strongly nationalistic country.
Dennis - SGMM
The quote was, “It was necessary to destroy the village in order to save it.”
Wilfred
If you bomb it, they will cum.
cbear
Will there be cookies and ice cream after the bombing? I love cookies and ice cream. I think everyone loves cookies and ice cream. Even poor unlucky-to-be-caught-in-the-wrong-fucking-place and bombed-to-fucking-shit Iranians love cookies and ice cream. Too bad they probably won’t be getting any.
God, I hate these fucking people. I literally, and from the bottom of my heart, hope that each and every one of them catch some dread disease, suffer horribly for a long, long time—and then die in a reeking suffocating pool of blood, pus, piss, and shit.
horatius
Judy Miller says,
The aspens have turned so hard on me, I have stretch marks from them.
Ed
warmongers everywhere want to “hear”
jake
Great idea! Let’s strafe Ahamamabamadingdong with WingNuts. They’ll surrender after the first few splashes of WingNutty goodness.
Yeah I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking “jake, that would violate every treaty against using biological weapons.” To which I reply “Why do you hate America?”
John Cole
What the hell is wrong with me?
I am not stupid. Am I losing my mind? Can you get alzheimer’s at 37? This only just started in the past 3-4 years.
JR
“You have to hand it to Chalibi, he snookered the worlds only superpower…”
Yes, the fruit of the glorious RepubliCon revolution is Chalibi’s fault. Otherwise it would be the fault of the liberals. Or if you ask the Dems, the fault of Ralph Nader.
The current and upcoming disasters could never be the fault of turning away from America’s roots as a secular and liberal society based on human rights and commonwealth.
Bubblegum Tate
All they need is Serena Sabak.
Wilfred
The United States strikes hard and fast
kids are huddled on the beach in the mist
I wanna die with you Judy in Tehran tonight
In an everlasting knish.
rawshark
*cough*9/11*cough*
That’s sick dude. And POTD.
rawshark
I made a bold!
How *did* I do that?
TenguPhule
1. A little late to be asking the first.
2. Yes.
TenguPhule
And if people fall for this shit again, then we really will deserve to get the shit kicked out of us by every other nation on earth.
nightjar
Most cons work best when the mark is predisposed to follow the con.
One could argue that Bush himself conned the American people with “conservative compassion” twice. America’s roots are irrelevant in the face of societal apathy and ignorance at any given point in time intersected with an election.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
As Barack Obama and John McCain thrash it out over how they would deal with Iran, voices from inside Iran are weighing in with an unusual message: If the United States strikes hard and fast, we will support you.
As witness the way they rolled over and meekly allowed the Iraqis to walk all over them…
CFisher
I heard from a friend who heard it from their friend who talked to the Iranians after 3rd period who said that they secretly like the US and they like it rough.
sparky
nightjar:
i say the second time was just gool ‘ol fear. of course, no one had anything to do with fanning those flames of irrationality….
/hoards duct tape for October surprise…
libarbarian
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice……well, the thing is, you don’t want to get fooled again.
Unless you’re George W Bush, and then you pretty much bend over and ask for it.
kb
Mind you this sort of belief has a long long history with the US.
The very first real war fought after independence in 1812 had the U.S. Secretary for War declaring “We can take the Canadas without soldiers, we have only to send officers into the province and the people . . . will rally round our standard.”
It didn’t work then and i doubt it’ll work now….
Tsulagi
Just great. “Voices” from inside Iran mixing with the voices inside the heads of our dynamic duo in the White House. The always brilliant Cheney and his merry butt boys would eagerly digest something like this. You can almost smell their new byproducts of success forming.
And the surprise factor would be? Of course it’s a beyond-ludicrous thought, but never doubt our Decider/Commander Guy with his magic touch. Plus, Chalabi, our man in Iraq, recently lost his latest nation building gig we gave him after being outed for the xx time for his ties and collaboration with Iran. No doubt he’s looking for another job. That cockroach will survive, but it’s hard out there for a self-pimp.
Given Chalabi’s grasp and understanding of the brilliant serious adults in this administration, how long before he could have them saying “Really, he’s the George Washington of Iran. It was the plan all along to first put him in Iraq to fool the unsuspecting Iranians. We’re smart like that.”
Yep, that’s what we’d really need, more adventures in nation building Republican patriot warrior style. What could go wrong?
The Moar You Know
All aboard the raep train.
nightjar
Your right Sparky.
Bush unsaid campaign slogan 2004. “The Only Thing You should Fear is Fear Itself”, or some such.
Punchy
fuck oil prices. does anyone have any idea what the prices of Persian RUGS will cost?
My floors will rue the day!
Jon H
“A Prince, therefore, ought to go slowly in undertaking an enterprise upon the representations of an exile, for most of the times he will be left either with shame or very grave injury.”
Tony J
WTF?
Teh stupid is strong in this one.
SpotWeld
Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you swap “Iran” with “Cuba” and it’s the lead up to the Bay of Pgis all over again.
Punchy
At least you’re not a teacher or tutor, passing these absymal spelling and grammar tendencies to the younger generations….
Oh…wait…nevermind.
Apsalar
Even before that, in 1775, some generals thought if they could capture Montreal and Quebec City, the French Canadian colonist would join in the fight for independence. They did manage to surround Montreal, but they got their hats handed to them at Quebec, and had to eventually retreat as a much-reduced force. This idea that people want us to invade them is a very old, very American idea, and as far as I can tell, has always been very incorrect.
Tax Analyst
Uh-huh, yep…and bomb-resistant ponies for EVERYONE!!
As to the poor, unlucky-to-be-caught-in-the-wrong-fucking-place and bombed-to-fucking-shit multitudes I’ve been informed that they will receive their fair allotment of cookies and ice cream posthumously. In addition to their massive explosive load the bombs will also carry as additional payload several cubic acres of sprinkles so the survivors will know that we really mean them no specific individual harm…shit just happens.
rachel
It’s how America was founded in the first place. The Native Americans wanted strangers to take their land and make it all productive and shit.
Marshall
From TFA
So, a decapitation strike would lead to a coup… by the Revolutionary guard… that would be pro-US. This is beyond stupid. The BS meter is at 11. Let’s see :
do the security services care what the Iranian people think ?
does anyone think that bombing Teheran will give people in Teheran a warm and fuzzy feeling about the bombers ?
and these “many” people in positions of responsibility. How, exactly, do they know that a decapitation strike would not extend deeply enough to target them ?
Oh, and the decapitation strikes against Saddam worked so well, too. Restaurants full of families – taken out. Saddam – not so much.
All I can say is that something this stupid had to come directly from the Office of the Vice President. I detect the hand of the master here.
rachel
Nostradumbus strikes again.