While we all digest the latest outburst of craziness from Hillary, I would like to announce some really good news for the website.
He was supposed to announce this yesterday, I waited 24 hours, and since he has not done it himself, I am doing it:
Tim F. passed his thesis defense on Thursday and is now-

DR. TIM F.
Congrats, Doctor!
Wilfred
Congratulations. I passed my viva voce on 27 March – it’s a great feeling but get ready for a little post-partum depression.
Cris
Excelsior! Everybody I know who has been through the Ph.D. process says it’s an absolute ordeal. Jumping through extremely small flaming hoops, and whatnot. Congratulations, Dr. Timf. May it serve you well.
Rick Taylor
Congratulations, Dr. Tim! I know that’s not easy.
Doug H. (Fausto no more)
“Hi, everybody!”
“Hi, Doctor Tim!”
Damned at Random
I’d ask you about my sciatica, but I take it you’re not THAT kind of doctor.
Congratulations and best wishes anyhow, young fella
gypsy howell
Congrats Tim!
I dance a happy dance for you. With the sound on!
Delia
Many happy returns.
Um, when do you start the post-doc? :)
gypsy howell
Shit, I meant DR. Tim , of course!
incertus
Awesome news Doctor Tim!
Cain
Congratulations, Tim!
cain
Adam
Congrats!
Change his username! Change his username!
Tom Hilton
Congratulations, Dr. Tim! And by the way, I have this persistent cough, I was wondering if maybe you could prescribe something…
nightjar
Congrats! Now that your a liberal Perfessor with a PH D, you must have your countertops inspected on a regular basis.
PeterJ
Great news :) and congratulations :)
I guess this explains why Dr. Tim hasn’t been posting, I was wondering about it.
passerby
Well done Dr. Tim!
Two questions:
1) What was the theme of your thesis and
2) How much spin was involved.
Not long after I obtained my “Master” of science degree did I realize that the most valuable aspect of the whole ordeal was that I “did it”.
Many who have accomplished the whole “jumping thru the hoops” thing understand that what really counts is the sheer guts to get it done.
To borrow the words of Cris upline
may it serve you well!
SALUT!!!
T
p.s. you are officially overeducated.
4jkb4ia
Yasher Koach! Sings happy song
demimondian
We reached the end of my defense (at which I decided to present a novel theorem, rather than defend my thesis), and I went out into the hall to pace, as was traditional in my department. The requisite five minutes later, one of the members of my committee came to the door to call me in, and met me at the door with the words “We’re sorry, but…”
The rest of the committee yelled “That’s not funny!”
At which point, my advisor stood up and said “On behalf of the committee, may I offer you our congratulations, Doctor [blah].”
So, on behalf of the commentariat, may I offer you our congratulations, Dr. Tim F. Where are your post-doccing?
CrazyDrumGuy
Congratulations Tim F., Ph.D.!
SnarkyShark
Congrats dude. That’s a monster thing you have done.
qwerty42
congrats, Doc.
Matthew Dessem
THIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS!! FOR HILLARY!!!
The Grand Panjandrum
Congratulation, Tim. Welcome to the club. The society is sending a video of the secret handshake.
Some friends held a party for me after I defended my dissertation and we had a lot of fun. (At least thats what I was told.) I’m living proof that a PhD doesn’t prevent hangovers.
Good luck in the job search if you have not yet landed a position.
I have a couple of shot for you a little later. (Tequila anejo, of course.)
b. hussein canuckistani
Hooray! Do you get a tardis?
bostondreams
Congrats, Tim. I start my quals in the fall. We have a 30 day take home exam, so I’m not really worried. But my university is cutting left and right (thanks, Florida Legislature!), and I can see my members just trickling away to better, safer jobs soon. yay.
Grats Dr. Tim! Woo Hoo! :)
passerby
A toast to Dr. Tim:
“Afoot and lighthearted, I take to the open road.
Healthy! Free! The world before me!…
That long brown road before me, leading wherever I choose.”
(–Walt Whitman: Song of the Open Road)
To Tim:
May you always have a choice.
May you always choose wisely.
Drink up!!!!
T
Ripley
Huzzah! Huzzah, I say!!
Congrats!
Genine
Congratulations! You must be psyched!
Well done and Cheers!
protected static
Jeez, just how many PhDs are hanging around here? Shouldn’t y’all be, like, doing elitist, over-edu-ma-cated, doctor-y stuff?
Seriously – congrats, Dr. Tim – that’s no small thing.
MrSnrub
Congrats, Dr. Tim!
Great work!
Brachiator
Even though this officially elevates you into the ranks of the elites, a hearty congratulations!!
Dennis - SGMM
Does being an actual doctor mean that you’ll stop Playing Doctor?
NR
Isn’t it a dissertation, and not a thesis, for a PhD?
A thesis gets you a Master’s degree, doesn’t it?
But then I’m a lowly 4-year degree holder, so I wouldn’t know.
Paul
Congratulations, Tim!
Krista
Congratulations, Tim! That is a seriously impressive accomplishment and one of which you should be very, very proud.
/raises beer and sadly remembers the time, decades ago, when a B.A. was impressive.
passerby
NR, I stand corrected.
Tim, what was the theme of your dissertation?
T
(picky,picky,picky)
phobos
Three quarks for Dr. Tim!
You really should consider one of those discount evil lairs.
tattoosydney
Muitos parabens, o Senor Doutor Tim.
demimondian
It depends on your school and your department, actually. My father and grandfather both wrote and defended theses for their Ph.D.’s (in Physics and Astronomy, respectively). My grandmother wrote a dissertation (Psychology). My great aunt, a thesis (statistics). My wife wrote a dissertation (biology), as did I (math). My brother wrote a thesis (Psychology, again).
— demi “what do you mean, overeducated?” mondian
null pointer exception
Congrats Dr. Tim!
I am still trying to finish my part time masters.
Shygetz
Congrats! Welcome to the secret brotherhood of “Well, but you’re not a REAL doctor!”
That one never gets old.
Zifnab
Go Tim!
Hey, now that you’re a doctor, I’ve got this really nasty rash in a rather unmentionable place I need someone to look at.
What? Not that kind of doctor? Ok, forget I said anything.
Tim F.
Thanks for all the kind wishes, guys. I have been in such a panic state that I never even got around to posting an apology. In response to to most common question, there are plans to join a postdoc lab in late June. Hopefully it will be just as much fun as the crazy shit that I did for my thesis*, but for the sake of pseudo-anonymity I’d rather not be too specific. Those who are still curious can email me and I’ll be happy to dish.
You should see me this morning…
Seriously? We had a series of four two-hour exams written by sadists. Then we had to sit in front of a committee and defend the points we got wrong along with whatever personal and professional shortcomings the committee saw fit to mention. Plus, I’d never had an undergraduate class covering biochemistry and the exam didn’t cover any material from the graduate course. Uphill both ways! Feh, kids.
(*) That doesn’t count the cell cycle experiments. I wouldn’t mind being done with those.
KRK
Congrats!
I’m not sure if the Gaudie is appropriate once you get past the baccalaureate, but here it is just for kicks.
passerby
demimondian,
C’mon guy,
Certainly, you must be aware that modern-day “education” is nothing more than indoctrination.
Therefore, my dear chap, those of us who participate must always second guess the “truth” that we are being “taught”.
Agendas, No?
T
Tsulagi
Doctor Tim, congratulations!
KRK
But I bet you didn’t have to reject or denounce anyone, did ya?
Ninerdave
Wow, major congratulations Tim!! You gonna now be Dr. Tim?
Tim F.
Tim is fine; if you have some unbearable need to be formal then go with Dr. F.
maxbaer (not the original)
Congrats Tim, this must mean a substantial raise from the Balloon Juice Corporation. Or have I overestimated the cash flow associated with popular blogs?
Reverend Spooner
Congrats, Tim!
Zeke
Congratulations Tim!
Jess
Well done, Dr. F! I finished my ordeal two years ago, and I still shudder at the memory. The best part for me was the realization that now I get to choose my own path, within reason, and that no one has the authority to do anything more than disagree (or refuse to grant tenure, I suppose, but that’s a very different issue). Hope you’re enjoying your new freedom!
Tim F.
Let’s put it this way: John could increase what he’s paying me ten million percent and I still would have to think twice about re-upping my subscription to Scientific American.
passerby
Dr. F says:
HA!
T
Xenos
Congatulations, Dr. Tim!
Now, are you moving to full-time yeast & barley malt research? We have apparantly reached peak hop supply, so some genius is needed!
Andrew
Can we still call you Mr. F if we do it with a dramatic female chorus?
nightjar
Dr. F is way cool, a bit sinister and mysterious too.
merrinc
Congratulations, Dr. Tim F. I think this means that you are now officially a member of the Intellectual Elite.
SocialScientist
Mazel Tov! Dr. F. Fantastic news!
w vincentz
Congrats Dr. Tim. Great that your efforts found the reward!
MNPundit
You’re a doctor Tim, right?
Write me some prescriptions dammit!
Blow Riley
Congrats there, perfesser.
Cut off his mike.
Notorious P.A.T.
Hooray for Tim!
Surabaya Stew
Way to go, Dr. Tim; as a soon-to-be licensed professional degree holder, I take heart in your overcoming all obstacles to reach your dreams. Selamat atas kesuksesan anda! (Congratulations on your success!)
AkaDad
Congrats! Today, you must be Dr. Feelgood.
RSA
Congratulations, Dr. Tim F.! (Would you have time to talk about my grade? I really needed to get an A in your course. . .)
Ned R.
Way late on this but congratulations indeed! Now get drunk for the whole weekend.
Batocchio
Congratulations!
srv
Ugh, now he’s going to go from snooty to unbearable.
Congrats.
wasabi gasp
Congratulations, Doctor Tim F.
jack fate
Congratulations, good Doctor Tim F..
Tim F.
Sure, no problem. Just give me the exam give back and I’ll gladly look over the whole thing. By the way, I’m a generous grader the first time through and I often miss minor errors that stand out on a second reading.
Louise
Congratulations, Tim! I’ve been through it, so I know — and am thrilled for you! Enjoy the honorific!
Nat
Woohoo! Just filed my thesis on Wednesday. Feels very anticlimactic though, because my program doesn’t have defenses. (Good thing, since I barely survived quals.) I think this may be a school-wide policy, but the attitude towards academic requirements in my department is particularly nonchalant.
I now plan to spend the rest of the summer purging my memories of the writing process. I saved all of my draft printouts for starting campfires.
Chuck Butcher
Doctor Tim, most excellent news. A lot of hard work jus paid off, congratulations!
Chuck Butcher
Doctor Tim, most excellent news. A lot of hard work jus paid off, congratulations!
Michael D.
Congratulations Tim. Welcome to our ranks!!!
Darkrose
Congratulations, Doctor Tim!
Redleg
Congrats- now get back to work- publish or perish, you know.
Redleg, Ph.D.
grumpy realist
Congrats! Omedetou gozaimasu! Are you planning to get dressed up in the robe with the hood at graduation or pass on all of that?
(My own experience of defending my thesis was, um, weird. Flew back from Japan, reviewed for 3 days, defended on the 4th, and THEN got totally hit by the jet lag, before I jumped back on a plane back to Tokyo two days later. Ugh.)
Wishing you much sleep….