Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

A norm that restrains only one side really is not a norm – it is a trap.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

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Reader Interactions

80Comments

  1. 1.

    Wilfred

    Congratulations. I passed my viva voce on 27 March – it’s a great feeling but get ready for a little post-partum depression.

  2. 2.

    Cris

    Excelsior! Everybody I know who has been through the Ph.D. process says it’s an absolute ordeal. Jumping through extremely small flaming hoops, and whatnot. Congratulations, Dr. Timf. May it serve you well.

  5. 5.

    Damned at Random

    I’d ask you about my sciatica, but I take it you’re not THAT kind of doctor.

    Congratulations and best wishes anyhow, young fella

  12. 12.

    Tom Hilton

    Congratulations, Dr. Tim! And by the way, I have this persistent cough, I was wondering if maybe you could prescribe something…

  13. 13.

    nightjar

    Congrats! Now that your a liberal Perfessor with a PH D, you must have your countertops inspected on a regular basis.

  14. 14.

    PeterJ

    Great news :) and congratulations :)

    I guess this explains why Dr. Tim hasn’t been posting, I was wondering about it.

  15. 15.

    passerby

    Well done Dr. Tim!

    Two questions:

    1) What was the theme of your thesis and

    2) How much spin was involved.

    Not long after I obtained my “Master” of science degree did I realize that the most valuable aspect of the whole ordeal was that I “did it”.

    Many who have accomplished the whole “jumping thru the hoops” thing understand that what really counts is the sheer guts to get it done.

    To borrow the words of Cris upline

    may it serve you well!

    SALUT!!!

    T

    p.s. you are officially overeducated.

  17. 17.

    demimondian

    We reached the end of my defense (at which I decided to present a novel theorem, rather than defend my thesis), and I went out into the hall to pace, as was traditional in my department. The requisite five minutes later, one of the members of my committee came to the door to call me in, and met me at the door with the words “We’re sorry, but…”

    The rest of the committee yelled “That’s not funny!”

    At which point, my advisor stood up and said “On behalf of the committee, may I offer you our congratulations, Doctor [blah].”

    So, on behalf of the commentariat, may I offer you our congratulations, Dr. Tim F. Where are your post-doccing?

  22. 22.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    Congratulation, Tim. Welcome to the club. The society is sending a video of the secret handshake.

    Some friends held a party for me after I defended my dissertation and we had a lot of fun. (At least thats what I was told.) I’m living proof that a PhD doesn’t prevent hangovers.

    Good luck in the job search if you have not yet landed a position.

    I have a couple of shot for you a little later. (Tequila anejo, of course.)

  24. 24.

    bostondreams

    Congrats, Tim. I start my quals in the fall. We have a 30 day take home exam, so I’m not really worried. But my university is cutting left and right (thanks, Florida Legislature!), and I can see my members just trickling away to better, safer jobs soon. yay.

    Grats Dr. Tim! Woo Hoo! :)

  25. 25.

    passerby

    A toast to Dr. Tim:

    “Afoot and lighthearted, I take to the open road.
    Healthy! Free! The world before me!…
    That long brown road before me, leading wherever I choose.”

    (–Walt Whitman: Song of the Open Road)

    To Tim:

    May you always have a choice.
    May you always choose wisely.

    Drink up!!!!

    T

  28. 28.

    protected static

    Jeez, just how many PhDs are hanging around here? Shouldn’t y’all be, like, doing elitist, over-edu-ma-cated, doctor-y stuff?

    Seriously – congrats, Dr. Tim – that’s no small thing.

  30. 30.

    Brachiator

    Even though this officially elevates you into the ranks of the elites, a hearty congratulations!!

  32. 32.

    NR

    Isn’t it a dissertation, and not a thesis, for a PhD?

    A thesis gets you a Master’s degree, doesn’t it?

    But then I’m a lowly 4-year degree holder, so I wouldn’t know.

  34. 34.

    Krista

    Congratulations, Tim! That is a seriously impressive accomplishment and one of which you should be very, very proud.

    /raises beer and sadly remembers the time, decades ago, when a B.A. was impressive.

  35. 35.

    passerby

    Isn’t it a dissertation, and not a thesis, for a PhD?

    A thesis gets you a Master’s degree, doesn’t it?

    NR, I stand corrected.

    Tim, what was the theme of your dissertation?

    T

    (picky,picky,picky)

  38. 38.

    demimondian

    Isn’t it a dissertation, and not a thesis, for a PhD?

    A thesis gets you a Master’s degree, doesn’t it?

    It depends on your school and your department, actually. My father and grandfather both wrote and defended theses for their Ph.D.’s (in Physics and Astronomy, respectively). My grandmother wrote a dissertation (Psychology). My great aunt, a thesis (statistics). My wife wrote a dissertation (biology), as did I (math). My brother wrote a thesis (Psychology, again).

    — demi “what do you mean, overeducated?” mondian

  39. 39.

    null pointer exception

    Congrats Dr. Tim!
    I am still trying to finish my part time masters.

  40. 40.

    Shygetz

    Congrats! Welcome to the secret brotherhood of “Well, but you’re not a REAL doctor!”

    That one never gets old.

  41. 41.

    Zifnab

    Go Tim!

    Hey, now that you’re a doctor, I’ve got this really nasty rash in a rather unmentionable place I need someone to look at.

    What? Not that kind of doctor? Ok, forget I said anything.

  42. 42.

    Tim F.

    Thanks for all the kind wishes, guys. I have been in such a panic state that I never even got around to posting an apology. In response to to most common question, there are plans to join a postdoc lab in late June. Hopefully it will be just as much fun as the crazy shit that I did for my thesis*, but for the sake of pseudo-anonymity I’d rather not be too specific. Those who are still curious can email me and I’ll be happy to dish.

    Some friends held a party for me after I defended my dissertation and we had a lot of fun. (At least thats what I was told.) I’m living proof that a PhD doesn’t prevent hangovers.

    You should see me this morning…

    We have a 30 day take home exam, so I’m not really worried.

    Seriously? We had a series of four two-hour exams written by sadists. Then we had to sit in front of a committee and defend the points we got wrong along with whatever personal and professional shortcomings the committee saw fit to mention. Plus, I’d never had an undergraduate class covering biochemistry and the exam didn’t cover any material from the graduate course. Uphill both ways! Feh, kids.

    (*) That doesn’t count the cell cycle experiments. I wouldn’t mind being done with those.

  44. 44.

    passerby

    demimondian,

    C’mon guy,

    Certainly, you must be aware that modern-day “education” is nothing more than indoctrination.

    Therefore, my dear chap, those of us who participate must always second guess the “truth” that we are being “taught”.

    Agendas, No?

    T

  46. 46.

    KRK

    We had a series of four two-hour exams written by sadists. Then we had to sit in front of a committee and defend the points we got wrong along with whatever personal and professional shortcomings the committee saw fit to mention. Plus, I’d never had an undergraduate class covering biochemistry and the exam didn’t cover any material from the graduate course. Uphill both ways!

    But I bet you didn’t have to reject or denounce anyone, did ya?

  48. 48.

    Tim F.

    Wow, major congratulations Tim!! You gonna now be Dr. Tim?

    Tim is fine; if you have some unbearable need to be formal then go with Dr. F.

  49. 49.

    maxbaer (not the original)

    Congrats Tim, this must mean a substantial raise from the Balloon Juice Corporation. Or have I overestimated the cash flow associated with popular blogs?

  52. 52.

    Jess

    Well done, Dr. F! I finished my ordeal two years ago, and I still shudder at the memory. The best part for me was the realization that now I get to choose my own path, within reason, and that no one has the authority to do anything more than disagree (or refuse to grant tenure, I suppose, but that’s a very different issue). Hope you’re enjoying your new freedom!

  53. 53.

    Tim F.

    Congrats Tim, this must mean a substantial raise from the Balloon Juice Corporation.

    Let’s put it this way: John could increase what he’s paying me ten million percent and I still would have to think twice about re-upping my subscription to Scientific American.

  54. 54.

    passerby

    Dr. F says:

    Let’s put it this way: John could increase what he’s paying me ten million percent and I still would have to think twice about re-upping my subscription to Scientific American.

    HA!

    T

  55. 55.

    Xenos

    Congatulations, Dr. Tim!

    Now, are you moving to full-time yeast & barley malt research? We have apparantly reached peak hop supply, so some genius is needed!

  57. 57.

    nightjar

    if you have some unbearable need to be formal then go with Dr. F

    Dr. F is way cool, a bit sinister and mysterious too.

  58. 58.

    merrinc

    Congratulations, Dr. Tim F. I think this means that you are now officially a member of the Intellectual Elite.

  64. 64.

    Surabaya Stew

    Way to go, Dr. Tim; as a soon-to-be licensed professional degree holder, I take heart in your overcoming all obstacles to reach your dreams. Selamat atas kesuksesan anda! (Congratulations on your success!)

  66. 66.

    RSA

    Congratulations, Dr. Tim F.! (Would you have time to talk about my grade? I really needed to get an A in your course. . .)

  72. 72.

    Tim F.

    (Would you have time to talk about my grade? I really needed to get an A in your course. . .)

    Sure, no problem. Just give me the exam give back and I’ll gladly look over the whole thing. By the way, I’m a generous grader the first time through and I often miss minor errors that stand out on a second reading.

  73. 73.

    Louise

    Congratulations, Tim! I’ve been through it, so I know — and am thrilled for you! Enjoy the honorific!

  74. 74.

    Nat

    Woohoo! Just filed my thesis on Wednesday. Feels very anticlimactic though, because my program doesn’t have defenses. (Good thing, since I barely survived quals.) I think this may be a school-wide policy, but the attitude towards academic requirements in my department is particularly nonchalant.

    I now plan to spend the rest of the summer purging my memories of the writing process. I saved all of my draft printouts for starting campfires.

  80. 80.

    grumpy realist

    Congrats! Omedetou gozaimasu! Are you planning to get dressed up in the robe with the hood at graduation or pass on all of that?

    (My own experience of defending my thesis was, um, weird. Flew back from Japan, reviewed for 3 days, defended on the 4th, and THEN got totally hit by the jet lag, before I jumped back on a plane back to Tokyo two days later. Ugh.)

    Wishing you much sleep….

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