Feh. Versus.
Messier looks like an alien.
*** Update 2-0 Red Wings. They look, um, better than the Pens.
Seems like they have constant pressure on us.
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.
If you are in line to indict donald trump, stay in line.
The current Supreme Court is a rogue court. Very dangerous.
It’s easier to kill a dangerous animal than a man who just happens to have different thoughts/values than one’s own.
“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.
It could be worse. Vance could have said “post-menopausal sows.” Waiting for that audiotape to surface.
Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?
People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.
Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.
Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?
Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!
There is one struggling party in US right now, and it’s not the Democrats.
If West Virginia and San Francisco had a love child.
Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.
A consequence of cucumbers
American History and Black History can not be separated.
Trump makes a mockery of the legal system and cowardly judges just sit back and let him.
Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”
Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.
I also would like a pony to improve my balloon juice experience.
“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”
Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.
Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?
Let me file that under fuck it.
bad dad
This gives me the first of many reasons to taunt you from Detroit, the CBC! Don Cherry! Ron McLean! Old Time Hockey! Eddie Shore!
Pistons, Red Wings and Tigers. All at home tonight. Sports heaven.
Notorious P.A.T.
You mean “Wings Open Thread”.
Notorious P.A.T.
So, are we limp-wristed elitists for watching hockey? I ask because, these days, whenever pundits want to talk about “real Americans” they bring up NASCAR. So I guess I’m a communist or something because I prefer baseball or hockey.
bad dad +1
I don’t know. Granted, I am a Kossack and also play over at Adam Bonin’s blog ALOTT5MA…
BTW, legitimate call on the no goal. The stick was enough interference.
Krista
No, but you are a Canuckislamofacist.
…I think.
bad dad +1
…and the Lions are beating the Vikings 17-3.
rawshark
Sam Cassell looks like an alien.
Kathy
Wings shoots and SCORES!!!!!! Wings draw first blood even though Flurry knocks it in. What a great game.
Love,
Kathy + 2 1/2 (1 Martini, 1/2 bottle of pino noir and 1 Bailey’s.
(This will so suck if Wings end up losing)
Kathy
Oh Geeze, just checked out the Piston’s score – talk about arugula loving elitists. Back to VS.
Fwiffo
Great puck control by Detroit… Terrible giveaway by Pens.
Wilfred
Don’t give up, John. Why one year the Rangers were losing to the Canadiens at home 5-0 with only seconds left in regulation when the whole 7th Avenue end of the Garden where the Canadiens were was sucked into some giant interplanetary vortex and the Rangers wound up winning by forfeit. Nobody got hurt even. They found the Canadien players wandering down Canal Street the next day.
So, you know, it could happen tonight, too.
Throwin Stones
Zetterberg looks good.
Fwiffo
Detroit is just dominating on face-offs and puck control generally, and has had a great forecheck.
Fwiffo
WTF, Lidstrom gets penalty like once a year…
mitch
Man, DET’s just dominating. I bet DET wins in 5 games.
mitch
Ha. 3-0. woot. shorthanded no less. that’s gotta hurt
Kathy
Short Handed GOAL !!!!! What a game. 3-0 with 2:42 left
Totally sucks about the Pistons though.
Kathy
Okay, 4-0 with 12 seconds left, safe to say Detroit’s going to win this one. :)
Soylent Green
Avalanche fan here. I have a more favorable view of George W. Bush than of the Detroit Red Wings, our most hated rival.
But concede they are a formidable playoff team. They have a real knack for turning split-second opportunities into goals.
So fuck the Wings who will win in five.
Fwiffo
Yeah, I’m thinking 5 games, but if Detroit keeps playing like they did tonight, it’ll be a sweep.
Chasm
As a lifelong Kings Fan (and therefore, Wings Despiser), I feel your pain and sympathize. Go Pens!
Throwin Stones
Ouch.
I certainly have quite a distaste for the Avalance, but goodness.
Throwin Stones
er, Avalanche
Nerf
Poor Cindy and the Flightless Waterfowl… Skunked! That’s gotta hurt
Some Guy Named Matt
The wings win game 1 of stanly cup finals 4-0. Birth of my son. Could it be….. let me check… yes it is the Greatest Memorial Day Weekend in the History of the World.
Soylent Green
Not true, of course. Sports hyperbole.
bad dad +2
Sorry. Embeds don’t work.
Here’s your turtle, Soylent Green.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7DlAjrhm9s
They still play hockey in Denver?
Graeme
Watching that was like listening to a Whitehouse CD. GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES!
Graeme
Soylent Green
HAHAHA! Running Sack Lick on 8 – 2 victory was almost as nice as running Roy 7 – 0!
I HATE the Avs. And I lived in Denver for 6.5 years…
mitch
4-0. ouch. gotta wonder whether the young Penguins are going to recover from that. I may have to consider revising my bet of DET in 5 to DET in 4.
Throwin Stones
Congrats Some Guy
bad dad +2
As God as my witness, I thought Penguins could fly.
Big E
re: Kathy + 2 1/2 (1 Martini, 1/2 bottle of pino noir and 1 Bailey’s.
oh yes, I want to watch hockey with you ;-)
Detroit is the Terminator, Pens down in 5 games…
Philly returns next year and wins the cup,
b. hussein canuckistani
I have faith that the Maple Leafs are still going to come back and win it this year, possibly benefiting from the assassination of the rest of the NHL. Just like in 1968, when the Blues won after the Canadiens were killed by a crazed gunman.
What? Too soon?
Cain
so.. i’m bored.. there’s no open thread really.. so I’m going to threadjack this one.
any memorial day plans? I’m doin the usual, beer, meat, and girl. (I’m married)
word.
cain
Thursday
FAIL!
What the Sam Hill was Pittsburgh thinking not playing Roberts in game one of the Final? This is the time of year you hired him for, idjits! Malkin looked rattled that game. Get the codger in, put him on Malkin’s line, the kid will be fine.
Man, for the past couple decades, unless the Wings are taken out early, they’re Hell on wheels… Er, so to speak. I can certainly see this being the year a European finally captains a Stanley Cup champion, and god on Lidstrom for doing it. Still didn’t deserve his Conn Smythe (without Yzerman, they wouldn’t have goten out of the first round in 2002), but maybe this one.
The member from Soviet Canckistan steals the thread back!
Darkness
Funny . . . my boyfriend, who watches hockey only because it is on and distracting him from other things said today, “hey remember that one stanley cup finals with the wings and those criminals? Yeah, colorado, that was it.”
Kevin
As a Sharks fan, I also say Go Pens
Bot LaBeer
Just a note for clarity. Detroit and Colorado have never faced off in the Cup finals because they’re both from the same conference.
Kathy
I’m sure that this thread is wrapped up but I just had to give a gigantic snap to Bad Dad for his “I thought Penguins could fly.” It was the line of the thread and yes I am completely sober now. Time to go plant a garden :)
(Big E-you can watch hockey with me and the hubby anytime :) )
BobS.
Nordique, I mean Avalanche fans, consider the Red Wings their rivals. Sorry Soylent Green, your respect is unrequited. The Avs have been an interesting blip on the radar the last few years, but hockey fans in Detroit are well aware that their true rivals are the Leafs and Canadians, other franchises with more than two weeks of tradition . Little Gary Bettman prevents the rivalry from flourishing by keeping the Wings exiled in the Western Conference with the Coyotes, Ducks, and Avs, but fans in Detroit would not miss being forced to watch the likes of them (as well as Columbus and Nashville) over and over and over… Maybe you could get the Blue Jackets to agree to be your rivals, Soylent Green.
Most remarkable stat from last night- the Wings were +1 for the four minutes Lidstrom was in the box (no one seems to remember the last time Nick had penalties in successive games, let alone the same game).
Also, insiders are reporting that Bettman has convened an emergency meeting of the rules committee, ala Sean Avery, to penalize Tomas Holmstrom any time he crosses the blue line on a Wings power play.
SnarkyShark
Working…and blogging while working.
Right now I am poking sharp sticks at the crazies over where I used to hang out.
The Grand Panjandrum
1. Happy Towel Day to all my fellow Hitchhikers!
2. Evidently climate change has effected the viability of Penguins more than anyone suspected. Any predictions on when they might be placed on the Endangered Species List?
Dennis - SGMM
That GP is a real frood. He always knows where his towel is.
Dennis - SGMM
Just heard Karl Rove on George Stephanopoulos’ “This Week.” He says the the Republicans must run as reformers. Reformers? They had the presidency, the courts and both Houses of Congress for six years. They grinned and gibbered as their boy king drove the country off of a cliff and, with unanimous voices, they called anyone who disagreed a traitor. There’d be a lot less to reform if they had at any point come down from their power-drunk trashing of the government and done something for the country instead of to it.
Yeah, reformers.
SnarkyShark
He probably meant prison reformers. Cause thats what he really needs. Some prison reform to make his future stay there real comfy.
null pointer exception
I would like to take this moment to assert that Tim Russert is a fucking moron. Thank you.
Dennis - SGMM
They need to lash him to Matthews and drop the pair of them 5000 miles from any media outlet. With all of the intelligent, insightful people in this country it’s maddening that these two continue to get airtime.
PeterJ
The people that worship the GOS are also looking for better trolls.
Is there a troll recession? Cause if that’s true, then how are we going to get any good trolls since it’s obvious that the GOS will be able to pick the cream of the crop for himself.
Since this is a Pens Open Thread, I’m going to offer a solution. We need a Troll Draft so that the bigger blogs won’t be able to pick the promising junior trolls. Obviously they can still trade for them with things like seasoned trolls, weekly links or even daily for those looking to be “The Next One”.
Dreggas
Hillary says it’s all our fault
w vincentz
Hillary is the TROLL of the Democratic primary. ‘Nuf said.
Time to treat her the same way that all trolls should be treated. Many here at Balloon Juice know the tactic well.
Flame them!
On a side note, has anyone seen that young fella with the very high IQ that likes to have sex with goats lately?
I only ask because the neighbors down the lane have a nice Sannan doe that just had two baby girl kids. They’re virgins. I think I can get a deal for “goat boy”, perhaps $150 each. Or you can send a check to me c/o the “Baby Goaat Defense Fund”. Save the cute baby girl goats!
Darkness
Yup, too much beer. 1996 Western Conference final.
I’m pretty sure the boyfriend’s remembering Lemieux (big surprise). But Turco the other night was reminding me of Roy from that same series, with his slashing during the moments the refs eyes were occupied elsewhere.