Via the comments section in another post, when you buy your McCain ’08 Golf gear, you are asked to post a helpful review:
Some helpful customers decided to take him up on the offer, and hilarity breaks out all over:
Remainder of Images Below the Fold (they are too wide and break the page).
Priceless.
Genine
lol That’s just too funny. But come ON, this site was just askin’ for it. lol
AkaDad
I think fifty bucks is a small price to pay to have McCain’s balls in your hand.
louisms
Jeez, McCain really is clueless!
mitch
radical! but we all know that the righties are the true comedic geniuses. Amiright?
Fern
Snirk.
Foxhunter
Unrelated to McShame’s ballzak, the folks over at No Quarter have become quite the read. Apparently, they are up in arms over an alleged ‘ass pat’ that Obama deliverd to Michelle. Scanning through the comments, racial innuendo abounds. It’s quite the midnight snack…
Someone posted a link to a redlasso vid clearly showing there was no ass infraction. It will be interesting to see if heads explode or if the comment is deleted.
The Ass Pat That Wasn’t
ThymeZone
Even offering to let people hit his balls with a club is not going to be enough for McCain to get folks to donate money to his campaign.
And, doesn’t it look like all those “comments” were written by the same guy?
John Cole
I am confused. If there is one person on the planet who IS allowed to pat her on the ass, isn’t it him?
hamletta
Oh, y’all that is just beautiful.
Republicans might oughta stick to direct mail. They were good at that.
AnotherBruce
I think that was a “terrorist ass pat.”
Thelonius
The controversy is that it was a Hezbollah-style ass pat.
The terrorists have won.
hamletta
Speaking as the only ball-busting feminist on the thread at the moment, I would say, “yes.”
ThymeZone
If I were the GOP right now, I’d be looking at going back to their roots: Just calling people Communists.
Has it ever failed?
wasabi gasp
Place your order before June 12, 2108 to get free shipping to your Dad in Iraq!
b-psycho
Hell, I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I would’ve…
Oregon guy
There’s been plenty more where John’s screen grab came from. I just wonder how much longer this amazing sample of campaign marketing will survive.
craigie
I ordered this item, but was told my shipment would be delayed by 100 years.
11B40
So let me get this straight: Cindy gets to hit off the ladies’ tee, while her husband gets to hit on whoever’s hitting off the ladies’ tee?
I’m voting for the black guy.
AkaDad
I believe the only acceptable ass pats should be between hot, athletic, sweaty men.
CapMidnight
Last week at work, I won our Presidential Candidate Impression contest! Putting John McCain Golf Pack golf balls between my cheeks and gums made all the difference!
(I also mixed up our top two customers, and denied giving the price quotes I’d recorded on voicemail. My boss gave me the next 100 years off!)
Thanks, John McCain!
Conservatively Liberal
Boy, he really put his balls on the line with this offer, and the Obama supporters are handing them right back to him.
This is sooooo funny I can’t stop laughing.
loquacious mute
My Friends. That is some funny shit.
loquacious mute
The Hill ranters at NoQrtr and other such sights really need to get laid. God forbid if he were to touch her ass for real there heads might explode.
Warren Terra
Some more reviews; either there’s turnover in reviews or Talking Points Memo is linking a different golf gear page:
Thursday
locuacious –
Bear in mind a lot of the stupider comments are trolls. You can usually tell by the phrase “I’m a Hilary supporter, but…”
Alex
Going…going….gone!
Thursday
Hmm… I suppose the “Preview” feature is there for a reason…
I blame the black guy and his sexy, sexy dap.
Warren Terra
Also keep in mind that, my friends, McCain believes so strongly in Golf that he’s dropped Iraq from his homepage and kept Golf
Seriously, check it out for yourself. Also note that the numbskulls running his web operations try not to give any obvious option to get past the front page without either donating or giving an email address (although if you click ‘donate’ and then click the John McCain logo, you do get to the front page – albeit, at least running Internet Explorer, with a pop-up box asking whether you want to load secure and non-secure items).
This incompetence on the internet is, of course, unsurprising from the people offering to sell you A Putter You Can Believe In.
Tom in Texas
That comment thread is the funniet thing I’ve seen in days.
And I can’t take the Hillbots seriously. They are willing to defend a man who cheats on his wife (not that I think there’s a problem with that — if both partners are knowledgeable and accepting I have no problem with a nonmonogomous marriage), but an ass slap sends em into a dizzy spell? I don’t believe it. It’s five College Republicans in a dorm room trading high fives and inventing spoofs. Either that or Dug’s been busy.
michaeldavide
Oh my,
Go to the site and hover over the “coalitions apparel” where you can purchase things like the “Arab Americans for McCain” and “Americans with Disabilities for McCain”.
I kid you not… where’s the “Men for McCain” or the “Elderly for McCain?”
Oh. My.
Ninerdave
I think it’s been pretty well proven that modern conservatives have no sense of humor or irony (case in point the Half Hour News Hour) ergo, they are incapable of spoof.
JenJen
Filthy elitists would buy their fathers carbon credits or planetary bodies with AUTHENTIC certificates, or, beter yet, their own dolphins.
Only real Americans would buy McCain-emblazoned golf shit. Do they have barbecue mitts, because I’m broke and out of ideas, and I’ve got, like, four more days and my dad thinks golf is fuckin’ stupid.
What to do???
Nancy Irving
You missed the funniest comment–can’t find it at the link now, they must’ve removed it–where someone complained that the 2008 McCain golf kit wasn’t as good as the 2000 one, cause it had fewer balls.
L. Ron Obama
I cannot believe this is still up hours later.
Redhand
The whole golf “link” thing is beyond pathetic. Only from the mind of an
establishment, er, maverick” Republican.Warren Terra
The Snarkers are still at it over there; here is one absolute winner:
I really hope someone is saving all these … and I assume some halfwitted tech guy with the McCain campaign is going to be looking for a new gig soon.
Warren Terra
Oh, and for anyone who wants to add their own snark to the thread (and thinks their own snark can match up), this information from a comment in the relevant GOS thread:
SGEW
Speaking of McCain . . . his campaign now considers his home state of Arizona to be a swing state in the election! Woo hoo!
Yet another reason to put Gov. Napolitano on th’ ticket, IMHO.
jake
Shit, I laughed so hard I woke the S.O.
Whatta grouch.
Hmm. Do I have an e-mail address I’m willing to sacrifice? Why yes, I do …
mr serene
Do they sell McCain and Lieberman bobbleheads? I want one of each.
jake
I wanna bobblehead of Lieberman inspecting McCane’s “bearings.”
PaulW
Well this is what he deserves for vetoing beers.
Yeah, you heard him. Even Rainier Brewery. Just to p-ss the bears off. Tsk.
Otto Man
Eight pages of comments, all snark. Enjoy them while you can.
Dave Herman
Not to be a wet blanket, but haven’t all the campaign web sites allowed comments all along? During the primary season, I recall the occasional spat flaring up between Hillary and Barack supporters on Obama’s web site, but the incivility didn’t get too far out of hand. Seems like at this point maybe both sites ought to just disable all comments before this all gets ugly.
This comment is entirely too serious.
Balls.
kate r
Jeebus, it’s STILL UP. Someone has to roll into work soon, right? And see this? Because every minute those remarks remain up, another few thousand people point and laugh and say he can’t even control his own webpage? We’re supposed to let him run this country?
Okay, so controlling webpages is harder, but not everyone knows that.
Phoenix Woman
I love how this is supposed to be a Father’s Day gift yet if you order it now Dad won’t get it ’til July.
TheFountainHead
Well this made my morning. Though I am a little upset that Obama apparently didn’t give Michelle a little tap on the ass. I just assumed he had, and had one more reason I could relate to him and vote for him. Oh well, there are plenty of others.
Michael D.
I guess they’ve turned off the comments.
Warren Terra
… And they’re gone, along with the whole comments function, some time in the time between Pheonix Woman’s post and this one.
chopper
i still haven’t gotten over the fact that he’s selling his own personalized ballsacks on his website.
it’s totally a google, innit?
Warren Terra
er, kate r, not Pheonix Woman. Oops.
ET
If I was married – which I am not – hell yes my hubby better occasionally pat me on the a**.
kate r
awwww, jeez, they’re so mean, stopping the fun like that. Got up to 9 pages of pure snark (before I went and had a life for a while so maybe even more). I hope someone took many, many screen shots.
4tehlulz
Josh Marshall snarks:
When a candidate cannot even endure snark, how can we expect him to endure in the war against the terraists?
Chinn Romney
I seem to be the only one who gets why John would be marketing Golf Gear. It’s part of his master strategy of distancing himself from Fearless Leader, who you’ll recall swore off Golf (mostly) in order to show solidarity with the Troops.
Dennis - SGMM
McCain surrendered his balls to Bush in 2004. How can he sell them now?
DB
I would love to pin this “product review gaffe” on McCain’s age and not understanding such modern technology…I am just not that mean. ;-)
Warren Terra
The sad, sad fact is that – while Chinn and Dennis provide good snark – the same snark ideas were expressed earlier, and better (if only better because of context) in the nine pages of snarky customer reviews at McCain’s store – reviews now lost to posterity.
Well, not all that lost to posterity; I assume that someone will post screenshots soon.
Joy
This ranks up there with some of the funniest crap I’ve ever read. Commenters are very clever!
Face
Golf gear? Fo’ shizzle?
What’s next? Rascals, walkers, The Clapper, and Geritol discounts?
Wow, if McCant isn’t advertising his age with this….
Dennis - SGMM
I was afraid of that. I checked Google’s cached version of the page in order to avoid duplicate snarking but, it didn’t have the comments.
Of all the nights to sit down with a good book…
wasabi gasp
Father’s Day McCain Body Armor Gift Set
Dave
He patted her on the small of her back! Anyone with a pair of eyes not blinded by Teh Stoopid can see that. Which would explain No Quarter’s problem…
"Fair and Balanced" Dave
“Worst golf balls I’ve ever used. David Broder told me they stick to the middle but every time I use one it veers sharply to the right.”
Dave
What the page doesn’t say is that McCain’s balls only work when hit by a Mashie-Niblick. None of the numbered clubs, thank you.
Dennis - SGMM
Shows you how smart McCain is; he’s missing a killer tie-in:
“John McCain adult incontinence products. You can Depend on John McCain!”
4tehlulz
Wonkette discovers reviews on other items in the JM store.
my fav:
Jill
Can you imagine if Michelle had patted Barack’s ass? I can hear Chris Matthews having the vapors right through the intar-t00bz.
Alas, they’ve taken the reviews out of the John McCain store. :(
Tim Fuller
The thugs would do well not to inflict the thought of ass pats into the discussion. It reminds me of this (just had to do the properly embedded link thingy)
Remind me again about inappropriate ass grabbing.
Enjoy.
greynoldsct00
It would appear the item isn’t even listed anymore, maybe that gem sold out! Jeez, funniest post and comments in a long time, excellent way to start the day.
mitch
man, those no quarter people have lost it. how has this republic survived so long with so much stupid floating out there?
Grumpy Code Monkey
I used to think the GOP was taking a dive in ’08.
Now I think we’re being set up. I can feel it in my hackles, they’re trying to lull us into complacency with a candidate and campaign that’s going out of its way to shoot itself in the foot, and then >BAMHeeeere’s Newtron (or someone equally scary) to save the party from itself.
bob
Hey…go take a look at the page source for any of the McCain store pages, down toward the bottom. They’ve hidden (contrary to their Terms of Service) the link to Volusion, the shopping cart vendor.
Next…go to http://www.volusion.com and look at their “Featured Clients” list…featuring the Obama ’08 campaign.
BWAHAHAHAH!
Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot
Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession?
TheFountainHead
Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds is malfunctioning.
Cyrus
Meh, ever hear the expression “don’t change horses in midstream”? It doesn’t apply everywhere, but a presidential primary seems like one place to keep it in mind, especially if there’s even the slightest appearance of the switch being planned.
I think the GOP are just playing the bad hand they’ve been dealt. Which of their primary candidates would be doing better at this point? Huckabee or Romney, maybe, but they both were at least as unacceptable to various parts of the GOP base as McCain is, without the benefit of a long love affair with the media. If there is an overarching plan, it’s to not waste resources in 2008, set Obama up for a Carteresque presidency and mount a serious challenge in 2012. The only thing that would really worry me about the coming election is an October surprise of some kind. Then things would become very complicated.
Don in CDA
“,,,Joe Lieberman Certified McCain Ballwasher…”
Blowing coffee through your nose is not a great way to start the day… Lord, I hope someone got screenshots of more…
Conservatively Liberal
Someone whack that Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot real good so it stops skipping. Damn old records, the needle must be worn out.
That’s what we need. A picture of McCain with two old RCA Victrola phonographs, one on each side of him, to show that he is ‘with it’ because he listens to his music in stereo!
Damn, I had to miss out on all of the fun because I had to spend the evening upgrading my NLE computer audio card and wrestling with the crappy Matrox RTx100 video editor drivers. I hope someone posts any captures of the comments as I would really like to read them all…lol!
This is like the RedState 3.0 mess. All the good computer geeks are libruls so this must be a vast left wing conspiracy to make the computer illiterate wing nuts look bad. Setting comments AFTER an actual purchase is a no brainer, especially for a political candidate.
Duh!
AkaDad
John McCain: Balls You Can Believe In
Conservatively Liberal
From the copied comments at Kos:
I’d use Joe the Ball Washer to wash the neighbor dog’s balls.
...now I try to be amused
Not as funny as the Bush/Cheney “Sloganizer” from 2004 (“Four more wars!”), but it’ll do.
Dreggas
O/T (and trust me after reading this I will madly begin composing new slogans) but:
H/T Sully
Dreggas
That is cruelty to animals.
Conservatively Liberal
I’d make Joe pull his dentures first. ;)
One poster at Kos said that they were changing the customer ID in the URL so it looked like the comments were being placed by site owner! Man this is hilarious!!
Jon H
I’d want to post the review “I ordered these, but when they arrived they were printed “Pat Robertson ’88”. What’s up with that?”
A. Chandler Moisen
Some more examples for you:
Here you go:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3138/2570814464_543fba57cc_o.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3170/2570814388_b9fe18beec_o.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3189/2569988267_c7e505547b_o.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3160/2569988143_9b23c06d3f_o.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3188/2570814064_0f36efa54a_o.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3129/2569987927_b33864212c_o.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3257/2569987827_c2b07042d1_o.jpg
Dreggas
still would be cruelty. Letting liebermans meat flaps near anything is considered hazardous to whatever material they make contact with.
Dreggas
Ummmm. One of my John McCain balls had a lump…
Dreggas
Oh this is even better
b-psycho
Might as well add “Leprechauns for McCain” while they’re at it, then…
Dreggas
Wow this post even got on Rawstory….sweeeet.
Daphne Chyprious
Someone sent this to Olbermann yet? He could get the most mileage out of the ridicule.
chrissy
this is why i love teh interweb!
J. A. Baker
Which heads? The big ones or the little ones? :-P
Brandon Reichard
As a three hundred year old man, i would like to inform you that this bag may not be a horrific purchase after all. I still use (with quite regularity in fact)my ‘john quincy adams in 25’ commemrative coffee tankand. People know the Quince, but when i wear my milliard fillmore macaroni necklace it seems that no one remembers him, then they don’t believe that i am actually a 300 year old in a 22 year olds body, it’s quite a long story. Basically, i am no longer “down”, as the kids say, with the macaroni necklace. This McCain bag is much different though,because he will be remembered. As losing to the first black president of the United States.
moondancer
The Lieberman ball washer was the best. I am writing copy for the ad campaign in my head as I type this.
Dr. Wu
Conservatively Liberal Says:
I’d use Joe the Ball Washer to wash the neighbor dog’s balls.
Senator Santorum just took you off his Christmas card list.
Mr. Mann
Small, hard, white, pockmarked balls. Yup, those are McCain’s.
pursang
I’m going to buy the “Cindy McCain Percoset Pack” for all “my friends”.
Robert
I must say that I was really surprised when I got these as a gift. These balls are actually much bigger than my husband’s. His remind me of old, stale raisins.
Cindy McCain
Robert
I always wondered what McCain’s problem was. Medically speaking its called “polyorchidism”.
Polyorchidism is the incidence of more than two testes. It is a very rare congenital disorder, with under 100 cases reported in medical literature. The most common form is triorchidism, or tritestes, where three testes are present.
Just goes to prove he’s more nuts than his mentor Shrub.
Peter Feldstein
I hope you never remove this from your site. I can only read a few at a time due to life’s time restraints, but this is definitely some of the funniest political satire I’ve ever seen or read. And it comes from a whole bunch of hysterical people (as in wildly funny as opposed to the hysterical looney left of Billo) who have nothing to do with the yanker pundits.
Great stuff. Thanks. You made my day.