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You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2008 / High Comedy at the McCain Golf Store

High Comedy at the McCain Golf Store

by John Cole|  June 10, 200811:21 pm| 118 Comments

This post is in: Election 2008, Excellent Links, Humorous

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Via the comments section in another post, when you buy your McCain ’08 Golf gear, you are asked to post a helpful review:

Some helpful customers decided to take him up on the offer, and hilarity breaks out all over:

Remainder of Images Below the Fold (they are too wide and break the page).

Priceless.

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Reader Interactions

118Comments

  1. 1.

    Genine

    June 10, 2008 at 11:27 pm

    lol That’s just too funny. But come ON, this site was just askin’ for it. lol

  2. 2.

    AkaDad

    June 10, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    I think fifty bucks is a small price to pay to have McCain’s balls in your hand.

  3. 3.

    louisms

    June 10, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    Jeez, McCain really is clueless!

  4. 4.

    mitch

    June 10, 2008 at 11:44 pm

    radical! but we all know that the righties are the true comedic geniuses. Amiright?

  5. 5.

    Fern

    June 10, 2008 at 11:44 pm

    Snirk.

  6. 6.

    Foxhunter

    June 10, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    Unrelated to McShame’s ballzak, the folks over at No Quarter have become quite the read. Apparently, they are up in arms over an alleged ‘ass pat’ that Obama deliverd to Michelle. Scanning through the comments, racial innuendo abounds. It’s quite the midnight snack…

    Someone posted a link to a redlasso vid clearly showing there was no ass infraction. It will be interesting to see if heads explode or if the comment is deleted.

    The Ass Pat That Wasn’t

  7. 7.

    ThymeZone

    June 10, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    Even offering to let people hit his balls with a club is not going to be enough for McCain to get folks to donate money to his campaign.

    And, doesn’t it look like all those “comments” were written by the same guy?

  8. 8.

    John Cole

    June 10, 2008 at 11:54 pm

    I am confused. If there is one person on the planet who IS allowed to pat her on the ass, isn’t it him?

  9. 9.

    hamletta

    June 10, 2008 at 11:56 pm

    Oh, y’all that is just beautiful.

    Republicans might oughta stick to direct mail. They were good at that.

  10. 10.

    AnotherBruce

    June 10, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    I think that was a “terrorist ass pat.”

  11. 11.

    Thelonius

    June 11, 2008 at 12:01 am

    The controversy is that it was a Hezbollah-style ass pat.

    The terrorists have won.

  12. 12.

    hamletta

    June 11, 2008 at 12:01 am

    I am confused. If there is one person on the planet who IS allowed to pat her on the ass, isn’t it him?

    Speaking as the only ball-busting feminist on the thread at the moment, I would say, “yes.”

  13. 13.

    ThymeZone

    June 11, 2008 at 12:01 am

    If I were the GOP right now, I’d be looking at going back to their roots: Just calling people Communists.

    Has it ever failed?

  14. 14.

    wasabi gasp

    June 11, 2008 at 12:06 am

    Place your order before June 12, 2108 to get free shipping to your Dad in Iraq!

  15. 15.

    b-psycho

    June 11, 2008 at 12:07 am

    I am confused. If there is one person on the planet who IS allowed to pat her on the ass, isn’t it him?

    Hell, I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I would’ve…

  16. 16.

    Oregon guy

    June 11, 2008 at 12:08 am

    There’s been plenty more where John’s screen grab came from. I just wonder how much longer this amazing sample of campaign marketing will survive.

  17. 17.

    craigie

    June 11, 2008 at 12:08 am

    I ordered this item, but was told my shipment would be delayed by 100 years.

  18. 18.

    11B40

    June 11, 2008 at 12:10 am

    So let me get this straight: Cindy gets to hit off the ladies’ tee, while her husband gets to hit on whoever’s hitting off the ladies’ tee?

    I’m voting for the black guy.

  19. 19.

    AkaDad

    June 11, 2008 at 12:10 am

    I believe the only acceptable ass pats should be between hot, athletic, sweaty men.

  20. 20.

    CapMidnight

    June 11, 2008 at 12:40 am

    Last week at work, I won our Presidential Candidate Impression contest! Putting John McCain Golf Pack golf balls between my cheeks and gums made all the difference!
    (I also mixed up our top two customers, and denied giving the price quotes I’d recorded on voicemail. My boss gave me the next 100 years off!)
    Thanks, John McCain!

  21. 21.

    Conservatively Liberal

    June 11, 2008 at 12:43 am

    Boy, he really put his balls on the line with this offer, and the Obama supporters are handing them right back to him.

    This is sooooo funny I can’t stop laughing.

  22. 22.

    loquacious mute

    June 11, 2008 at 12:55 am

    My Friends. That is some funny shit.

  23. 23.

    loquacious mute

    June 11, 2008 at 1:09 am

    The Hill ranters at NoQrtr and other such sights really need to get laid. God forbid if he were to touch her ass for real there heads might explode.

  24. 24.

    Warren Terra

    June 11, 2008 at 1:20 am

    Some more reviews; either there’s turnover in reviews or Talking Points Memo is linking a different golf gear page:

    Consolation prize… Reviewer: Carol Shepp McCain from Virginia Beach, VA
    I got mangled in a car accident and got dumped for a younger richer woman and all I got was this stupid golf gear. Sheesh!

    I was going to give you another look until…
    Reviewer: Peter Nutt from Hootenanny, FL United States
    …I saw that the product code was FDR2583. FDR? FDR?!? John, you crypto-socialist, I was intrigued by your ballbag until I came to your website and finally saw youre nuts.

    Happy Father’s Day!
    Reviewer: President Putin from Germany
    I especially love the divot repair tool. My dad’s been using the same old one for about 15 years. Thanks for showing the old man how to trade up for a newer model!

    Great for…
    Reviewer: Grand Ol’ Duffer. from Fartsville, OH
    throwing at kids to GET OFF MY LAWN YOU LITTLE JERKS!

    Perfect for the sand traps June 11, 2008
    Reviewer: Gny. Sgt. Hartman from Paris Island, SC
    Great gift for your friends and loved ones in the military that are trapped in the sand for the next 100 years.

    Balls
    Reviewer: Jesus H. Crist from Lime jello cottage cheese background
    Adequate replacements for the balls I was required to leave behind last time I visited Bob Jones University.

  25. 25.

    Thursday

    June 11, 2008 at 1:23 am

    locuacious –

    Bear in mind a lot of the stupider comments are trolls. You can usually tell by the phrase “I’m a Hilary supporter, but…”

  26. 26.

    Alex

    June 11, 2008 at 1:23 am

    Going…going….gone!

  27. 27.

    Thursday

    June 11, 2008 at 1:25 am

    Hmm… I suppose the “Preview” feature is there for a reason…

    I blame the black guy and his sexy, sexy dap.

  28. 28.

    Warren Terra

    June 11, 2008 at 1:34 am

    Also keep in mind that, my friends, McCain believes so strongly in Golf that he’s dropped Iraq from his homepage and kept Golf

    Seriously, check it out for yourself. Also note that the numbskulls running his web operations try not to give any obvious option to get past the front page without either donating or giving an email address (although if you click ‘donate’ and then click the John McCain logo, you do get to the front page – albeit, at least running Internet Explorer, with a pop-up box asking whether you want to load secure and non-secure items).

    This incompetence on the internet is, of course, unsurprising from the people offering to sell you A Putter You Can Believe In.

  29. 29.

    Tom in Texas

    June 11, 2008 at 1:36 am

    That comment thread is the funniet thing I’ve seen in days.

    And I can’t take the Hillbots seriously. They are willing to defend a man who cheats on his wife (not that I think there’s a problem with that — if both partners are knowledgeable and accepting I have no problem with a nonmonogomous marriage), but an ass slap sends em into a dizzy spell? I don’t believe it. It’s five College Republicans in a dorm room trading high fives and inventing spoofs. Either that or Dug’s been busy.

  30. 30.

    michaeldavide

    June 11, 2008 at 1:42 am

    Oh my,

    Go to the site and hover over the “coalitions apparel” where you can purchase things like the “Arab Americans for McCain” and “Americans with Disabilities for McCain”.

    I kid you not… where’s the “Men for McCain” or the “Elderly for McCain?”

    Oh. My.

  31. 31.

    Ninerdave

    June 11, 2008 at 2:01 am

    It’s five College Republicans in a dorm room trading high fives and inventing spoofs.

    I think it’s been pretty well proven that modern conservatives have no sense of humor or irony (case in point the Half Hour News Hour) ergo, they are incapable of spoof.

  32. 32.

    JenJen

    June 11, 2008 at 3:35 am

    Filthy elitists would buy their fathers carbon credits or planetary bodies with AUTHENTIC certificates, or, beter yet, their own dolphins.

    Only real Americans would buy McCain-emblazoned golf shit. Do they have barbecue mitts, because I’m broke and out of ideas, and I’ve got, like, four more days and my dad thinks golf is fuckin’ stupid.

    What to do???

  33. 33.

    Nancy Irving

    June 11, 2008 at 3:37 am

    You missed the funniest comment–can’t find it at the link now, they must’ve removed it–where someone complained that the 2008 McCain golf kit wasn’t as good as the 2000 one, cause it had fewer balls.

  34. 34.

    L. Ron Obama

    June 11, 2008 at 3:43 am

    I cannot believe this is still up hours later.

  35. 35.

    Redhand

    June 11, 2008 at 4:04 am

    The whole golf “link” thing is beyond pathetic. Only from the mind of an establishment, er, maverick” Republican.

  36. 36.

    Warren Terra

    June 11, 2008 at 4:25 am

    The Snarkers are still at it over there; here is one absolute winner:

    I can’t believe what John McCain is packing!
    Reviewer: Richard C. Mongler from Virginia Beach, VA United States
    These balls are fantastic. I tell you, I’ve tried many balls, but these are by far the best. Entirely white, rolling John McCain’s balls around in my hands is a pure pleasure. I can feel each individual dimple, and they’re so adorable up close, the way I like to examine balls to ensure the highest quality.

    The downside is that these golf balls almost feel like they’ve been painted over something that was once pasty white and older than one might think. If I press hard enough I think I can feel some scars, but then again it’s never a good idea to press too hard on one’s balls. Nevertheless, it might be why these balls tend to get stuck in quagmires or sand.

    If you’ve got George W. Bush’s golf pack, you’ll probably like this one. Their balls look almost exactly alike when they’re sitting right next to each other and they perform in the same fashion. I know I have my own personal balls that have always worked for me, but I think I could spend hours playing with John McCain’s!

    I really hope someone is saving all these … and I assume some halfwitted tech guy with the McCain campaign is going to be looking for a new gig soon.

  37. 37.

    Warren Terra

    June 11, 2008 at 4:49 am

    Oh, and for anyone who wants to add their own snark to the thread (and thinks their own snark can match up), this information from a comment in the relevant GOS thread:

    You too can contribute.
    You’re welcome to use this login:

    u: [email protected]
    p: cryptopunk

    The mail goes to the White House and the phone calls to the FBI. The email? It goes to null at the server.

  38. 38.

    SGEW

    June 11, 2008 at 5:02 am

    Speaking of McCain . . . his campaign now considers his home state of Arizona to be a swing state in the election! Woo hoo!

    Yet another reason to put Gov. Napolitano on th’ ticket, IMHO.

  39. 39.

    jake

    June 11, 2008 at 5:25 am

    Shit, I laughed so hard I woke the S.O.

    Whatta grouch.

    Hmm. Do I have an e-mail address I’m willing to sacrifice? Why yes, I do …

  40. 40.

    mr serene

    June 11, 2008 at 5:35 am

    Do they sell McCain and Lieberman bobbleheads? I want one of each.

  41. 41.

    jake

    June 11, 2008 at 6:10 am

    I wanna bobblehead of Lieberman inspecting McCane’s “bearings.”

  42. 42.

    PaulW

    June 11, 2008 at 6:15 am

    Well this is what he deserves for vetoing beers.

    Yeah, you heard him. Even Rainier Brewery. Just to p-ss the bears off. Tsk.

  43. 43.

    Otto Man

    June 11, 2008 at 6:31 am

    Eight pages of comments, all snark. Enjoy them while you can.

  44. 44.

    Dave Herman

    June 11, 2008 at 6:54 am

    Not to be a wet blanket, but haven’t all the campaign web sites allowed comments all along? During the primary season, I recall the occasional spat flaring up between Hillary and Barack supporters on Obama’s web site, but the incivility didn’t get too far out of hand. Seems like at this point maybe both sites ought to just disable all comments before this all gets ugly.

    This comment is entirely too serious.

    Balls.

  45. 45.

    kate r

    June 11, 2008 at 7:11 am

    Jeebus, it’s STILL UP. Someone has to roll into work soon, right? And see this? Because every minute those remarks remain up, another few thousand people point and laugh and say he can’t even control his own webpage? We’re supposed to let him run this country?

    Okay, so controlling webpages is harder, but not everyone knows that.

  46. 46.

    Phoenix Woman

    June 11, 2008 at 7:20 am

    I love how this is supposed to be a Father’s Day gift yet if you order it now Dad won’t get it ’til July.

  47. 47.

    TheFountainHead

    June 11, 2008 at 7:23 am

    Well this made my morning. Though I am a little upset that Obama apparently didn’t give Michelle a little tap on the ass. I just assumed he had, and had one more reason I could relate to him and vote for him. Oh well, there are plenty of others.

  48. 48.

    Michael D.

    June 11, 2008 at 7:23 am

    I guess they’ve turned off the comments.

  49. 49.

    Warren Terra

    June 11, 2008 at 7:25 am

    … And they’re gone, along with the whole comments function, some time in the time between Pheonix Woman’s post and this one.

  50. 50.

    chopper

    June 11, 2008 at 7:26 am

    i still haven’t gotten over the fact that he’s selling his own personalized ballsacks on his website.

    it’s totally a google, innit?

  51. 51.

    Warren Terra

    June 11, 2008 at 7:26 am

    er, kate r, not Pheonix Woman. Oops.

  52. 52.

    ET

    June 11, 2008 at 7:36 am

    If I was married – which I am not – hell yes my hubby better occasionally pat me on the a**.

  53. 53.

    kate r

    June 11, 2008 at 7:40 am

    awwww, jeez, they’re so mean, stopping the fun like that. Got up to 9 pages of pure snark (before I went and had a life for a while so maybe even more). I hope someone took many, many screen shots.

  54. 54.

    4tehlulz

    June 11, 2008 at 7:41 am

    Josh Marshall snarks:

    Late Update: In a very un-web 2.0 move, the McCain site is no longer allowing readers to post reviews of his McCain Golf Pack.

    When a candidate cannot even endure snark, how can we expect him to endure in the war against the terraists?

  55. 55.

    Chinn Romney

    June 11, 2008 at 8:16 am

    I seem to be the only one who gets why John would be marketing Golf Gear. It’s part of his master strategy of distancing himself from Fearless Leader, who you’ll recall swore off Golf (mostly) in order to show solidarity with the Troops.

  56. 56.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 11, 2008 at 8:17 am

    McCain surrendered his balls to Bush in 2004. How can he sell them now?

  57. 57.

    DB

    June 11, 2008 at 8:19 am

    I would love to pin this “product review gaffe” on McCain’s age and not understanding such modern technology…I am just not that mean. ;-)

  58. 58.

    Warren Terra

    June 11, 2008 at 8:23 am

    The sad, sad fact is that – while Chinn and Dennis provide good snark – the same snark ideas were expressed earlier, and better (if only better because of context) in the nine pages of snarky customer reviews at McCain’s store – reviews now lost to posterity.

    Well, not all that lost to posterity; I assume that someone will post screenshots soon.

  59. 59.

    Joy

    June 11, 2008 at 8:28 am

    This ranks up there with some of the funniest crap I’ve ever read. Commenters are very clever!

  60. 60.

    Face

    June 11, 2008 at 8:31 am

    Golf gear? Fo’ shizzle?

    What’s next? Rascals, walkers, The Clapper, and Geritol discounts?

    Wow, if McCant isn’t advertising his age with this….

  61. 61.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 11, 2008 at 8:35 am

    Warren Terra Says:

    The sad, sad fact is that – while Chinn and Dennis provide good snark – the same snark ideas were expressed earlier, and better (if only better because of context) in the nine pages of snarky customer reviews at McCain’s store – reviews now lost to posterity.

    Well, not all that lost to posterity; I assume that someone will post screenshots soon.

    I was afraid of that. I checked Google’s cached version of the page in order to avoid duplicate snarking but, it didn’t have the comments.
    Of all the nights to sit down with a good book…

  62. 62.

    wasabi gasp

    June 11, 2008 at 8:41 am

    What’s next? Rascals, walkers, The Clapper, and Geritol discounts?

    Father’s Day McCain Body Armor Gift Set

  63. 63.

    Dave

    June 11, 2008 at 8:41 am

    He patted her on the small of her back! Anyone with a pair of eyes not blinded by Teh Stoopid can see that. Which would explain No Quarter’s problem…

  64. 64.

    "Fair and Balanced" Dave

    June 11, 2008 at 8:43 am

    “Worst golf balls I’ve ever used. David Broder told me they stick to the middle but every time I use one it veers sharply to the right.”

  65. 65.

    Dave

    June 11, 2008 at 8:49 am

    What the page doesn’t say is that McCain’s balls only work when hit by a Mashie-Niblick. None of the numbered clubs, thank you.

  66. 66.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 11, 2008 at 8:51 am

    Shows you how smart McCain is; he’s missing a killer tie-in:
    “John McCain adult incontinence products. You can Depend on John McCain!”

  67. 67.

    4tehlulz

    June 11, 2008 at 8:57 am

    Wonkette discovers reviews on other items in the JM store.

    my fav:

    Over at the “African Americans for McCain” section (no, really, look under “Coalitions Apparel”), we have this:

    [ZOMG NONEMBEDDED LINK]

    A Promise is a Promise… June 11, 2008
    Reviewer: J.C. Watts from Oklahoma City, OK
    Remember, John, at that fundraiser you said if I put one of these on my car, I’d be on your short list for Vice President.

  68. 68.

    Jill

    June 11, 2008 at 8:58 am

    Can you imagine if Michelle had patted Barack’s ass? I can hear Chris Matthews having the vapors right through the intar-t00bz.

    Alas, they’ve taken the reviews out of the John McCain store. :(

  69. 69.

    Tim Fuller

    June 11, 2008 at 8:59 am

    The thugs would do well not to inflict the thought of ass pats into the discussion. It reminds me of this (just had to do the properly embedded link thingy)

    Remind me again about inappropriate ass grabbing.

    Enjoy.

  70. 70.

    greynoldsct00

    June 11, 2008 at 9:03 am

    It would appear the item isn’t even listed anymore, maybe that gem sold out! Jeez, funniest post and comments in a long time, excellent way to start the day.

  71. 71.

    mitch

    June 11, 2008 at 9:04 am

    man, those no quarter people have lost it. how has this republic survived so long with so much stupid floating out there?

  72. 72.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    June 11, 2008 at 9:13 am

    I used to think the GOP was taking a dive in ’08.

    Now I think we’re being set up. I can feel it in my hackles, they’re trying to lull us into complacency with a candidate and campaign that’s going out of its way to shoot itself in the foot, and then >BAMHeeeere’s Newtron (or someone equally scary) to save the party from itself.

  73. 73.

    bob

    June 11, 2008 at 9:18 am

    Hey…go take a look at the page source for any of the McCain store pages, down toward the bottom. They’ve hidden (contrary to their Terms of Service) the link to Volusion, the shopping cart vendor.

    Next…go to http://www.volusion.com and look at their “Featured Clients” list…featuring the Obama ’08 campaign.

    BWAHAHAHAH!

  74. 74.

    Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot

    June 11, 2008 at 9:25 am

    Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession? Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama doesn’t back up the rhetoric. Dude, where’s my recession?

  75. 75.

    TheFountainHead

    June 11, 2008 at 9:31 am

    Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds is malfunctioning.

  76. 76.

    Cyrus

    June 11, 2008 at 9:37 am

    Grumpy Code Monkey Says:
    I used to think the GOP was taking a dive in ‘08.

    Now I think we’re being set up. I can feel it in my hackles, they’re trying to lull us into complacency with a candidate and campaign that’s going out of its way to shoot itself in the foot, and then >BAMHeeeere’s Newtron (or someone equally scary) to save the party from itself.

    Meh, ever hear the expression “don’t change horses in midstream”? It doesn’t apply everywhere, but a presidential primary seems like one place to keep it in mind, especially if there’s even the slightest appearance of the switch being planned.

    I think the GOP are just playing the bad hand they’ve been dealt. Which of their primary candidates would be doing better at this point? Huckabee or Romney, maybe, but they both were at least as unacceptable to various parts of the GOP base as McCain is, without the benefit of a long love affair with the media. If there is an overarching plan, it’s to not waste resources in 2008, set Obama up for a Carteresque presidency and mount a serious challenge in 2012. The only thing that would really worry me about the coming election is an October surprise of some kind. Then things would become very complicated.

  77. 77.

    Don in CDA

    June 11, 2008 at 9:39 am

    “,,,Joe Lieberman Certified McCain Ballwasher…”

    Blowing coffee through your nose is not a great way to start the day… Lord, I hope someone got screenshots of more…

  78. 78.

    Conservatively Liberal

    June 11, 2008 at 9:42 am

    Someone whack that Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot real good so it stops skipping. Damn old records, the needle must be worn out.

    That’s what we need. A picture of McCain with two old RCA Victrola phonographs, one on each side of him, to show that he is ‘with it’ because he listens to his music in stereo!

    Damn, I had to miss out on all of the fun because I had to spend the evening upgrading my NLE computer audio card and wrestling with the crappy Matrox RTx100 video editor drivers. I hope someone posts any captures of the comments as I would really like to read them all…lol!

    This is like the RedState 3.0 mess. All the good computer geeks are libruls so this must be a vast left wing conspiracy to make the computer illiterate wing nuts look bad. Setting comments AFTER an actual purchase is a no brainer, especially for a political candidate.

    Duh!

  79. 79.

    AkaDad

    June 11, 2008 at 9:52 am

    John McCain: Balls You Can Believe In

  80. 80.

    Conservatively Liberal

    June 11, 2008 at 9:58 am

    From the copied comments at Kos:

    The Golf Pack is Great, but June 10, 2008
    Reviewer: Lobbyist Buddy from Washington DC
    When are you going to offer a Joe Lieberman Certified McCain Ballwasher?

    I love John McCain’s balls! June 10, 2008
    Reviewer: Ron Burgundy from , Los Angeles
    Perfectly dimpled, John McCain’s balls fly straight into the hole every time!
    I only wish that I could buy a John McCain ball-washer so that I could wash John McCain’s balls, my balls, and all my buddies’ balls with that signature John McCain ball-washing gusto.

    John McCain’s balls. Now there is change we can believe in!

    McCain roolz!!! Obama droolz!!!

    I’d use Joe the Ball Washer to wash the neighbor dog’s balls.

  81. 81.

    ...now I try to be amused

    June 11, 2008 at 9:59 am

    Not as funny as the Bush/Cheney “Sloganizer” from 2004 (“Four more wars!”), but it’ll do.

  82. 82.

    Dreggas

    June 11, 2008 at 10:10 am

    O/T (and trust me after reading this I will madly begin composing new slogans) but:

    “Barack Obama and David Axelrod’s Selfish Greed Endangers Every Child in America by Giving a Direct Pathway to Every Pedophile to Our Children” – a new post on the completely unhinged Larry Johnson Clintonite website.

    H/T Sully

  83. 83.

    Dreggas

    June 11, 2008 at 10:21 am

    Conservatively Liberal Says:

    I’d use Joe the Ball Washer to wash the neighbor dog’s balls.

    That is cruelty to animals.

  84. 84.

    Conservatively Liberal

    June 11, 2008 at 10:46 am

    That is cruelty to animals.

    I’d make Joe pull his dentures first. ;)

    One poster at Kos said that they were changing the customer ID in the URL so it looked like the comments were being placed by site owner! Man this is hilarious!!

  85. 85.

    Jon H

    June 11, 2008 at 10:57 am

    I’d want to post the review “I ordered these, but when they arrived they were printed “Pat Robertson ’88”. What’s up with that?”

  86. 86.

    A. Chandler Moisen

    June 11, 2008 at 10:59 am

    Some more examples for you:

    Here you go:

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3138/2570814464_543fba57cc_o.jpg

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3170/2570814388_b9fe18beec_o.jpg

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3189/2569988267_c7e505547b_o.jpg

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3160/2569988143_9b23c06d3f_o.jpg

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3188/2570814064_0f36efa54a_o.jpg

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3129/2569987927_b33864212c_o.jpg

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3257/2569987827_c2b07042d1_o.jpg

  87. 87.

    Dreggas

    June 11, 2008 at 11:01 am

    Conservatively Liberal Says:

    That is cruelty to animals.

    I’d make Joe pull his dentures first.

    still would be cruelty. Letting liebermans meat flaps near anything is considered hazardous to whatever material they make contact with.

  88. 88.

    Dreggas

    June 11, 2008 at 11:15 am

    Ummmm. One of my John McCain balls had a lump…

  89. 89.

    Dreggas

    June 11, 2008 at 11:24 am

    Oh this is even better

  90. 90.

    b-psycho

    June 11, 2008 at 11:51 am

    “Arab Americans for McCain”

    Might as well add “Leprechauns for McCain” while they’re at it, then…

  91. 91.

    Dreggas

    June 11, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    Wow this post even got on Rawstory….sweeeet.

  92. 92.

    Daphne Chyprious

    June 11, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    Someone sent this to Olbermann yet? He could get the most mileage out of the ridicule.

  93. 93.

    chrissy

    June 11, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    this is why i love teh interweb!

  94. 94.

    J. A. Baker

    June 11, 2008 at 2:32 pm

    loquacious mute Says:

    The Hill ranters at NoQrtr and other such sights really need to get laid. God forbid if he were to touch her ass for real there heads might explode.

    Which heads? The big ones or the little ones? :-P

  95. 95.

    Brandon Reichard

    June 12, 2008 at 5:56 am

    As a three hundred year old man, i would like to inform you that this bag may not be a horrific purchase after all. I still use (with quite regularity in fact)my ‘john quincy adams in 25’ commemrative coffee tankand. People know the Quince, but when i wear my milliard fillmore macaroni necklace it seems that no one remembers him, then they don’t believe that i am actually a 300 year old in a 22 year olds body, it’s quite a long story. Basically, i am no longer “down”, as the kids say, with the macaroni necklace. This McCain bag is much different though,because he will be remembered. As losing to the first black president of the United States.

  96. 96.

    moondancer

    June 12, 2008 at 9:43 am

    The Lieberman ball washer was the best. I am writing copy for the ad campaign in my head as I type this.

  97. 97.

    Dr. Wu

    June 12, 2008 at 10:51 am

    Conservatively Liberal Says:
    I’d use Joe the Ball Washer to wash the neighbor dog’s balls.

    Senator Santorum just took you off his Christmas card list.

  98. 98.

    Mr. Mann

    June 12, 2008 at 11:37 am

    Small, hard, white, pockmarked balls. Yup, those are McCain’s.

  99. 99.

    pursang

    June 12, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    I’m going to buy the “Cindy McCain Percoset Pack” for all “my friends”.

  100. 100.

    Robert

    June 12, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    I must say that I was really surprised when I got these as a gift. These balls are actually much bigger than my husband’s. His remind me of old, stale raisins.

    Cindy McCain

  101. 101.

    Robert

    June 12, 2008 at 4:03 pm

    I always wondered what McCain’s problem was. Medically speaking its called “polyorchidism”.

    Polyorchidism is the incidence of more than two testes. It is a very rare congenital disorder, with under 100 cases reported in medical literature. The most common form is triorchidism, or tritestes, where three testes are present.

    Just goes to prove he’s more nuts than his mentor Shrub.

  102. 102.

    Peter Feldstein

    June 12, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    I hope you never remove this from your site. I can only read a few at a time due to life’s time restraints, but this is definitely some of the funniest political satire I’ve ever seen or read. And it comes from a whole bunch of hysterical people (as in wildly funny as opposed to the hysterical looney left of Billo) who have nothing to do with the yanker pundits.

    Great stuff. Thanks. You made my day.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. McCain Gear « Media Needle says:
    June 11, 2008 at 5:00 am

    […] Via Balloon Juice, by way of Dr. Atta J. Turk. I can’t believe what John McCain is packing! June 11, 2008 Reviewer: Richard C. Mongler from Virginia Beach, VA United States […]

  2. BWAHAHAHA | Andrew Daniller says:
    June 11, 2008 at 8:45 am

    […] Too funny. Via Atrios Attaturk. […]

  3. “Was this review helpful to you?” at politburo diktat 2.0 says:
    June 11, 2008 at 9:00 am

    […] from John Cole When you buy your McCain ‘08 Golf gear, you are asked to post a helpful review: […]

  4. Sand Trap « Tower of Dabble says:
    June 11, 2008 at 9:07 am

    […] Sand Trap OK, I haven’t laughed this hard in awhile. I’m so glad that John Cole has moved over to the light side. […]

  5. crazydrumguy | readblog | » Golf Gear We Can Believe In says:
    June 11, 2008 at 9:31 am

    […] As anyone who has seen John McCain’s website recently knows, one of his top four priorities is golf gear. And since the campaign is so committed to customer service, you can leave a helpful but unmoderated review once you purchase the John McCain Father’s Day Golf Pack. Needless to say, hilarity ensued: .gallery { margin: auto; } .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } .gallery img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } […]

  6. light leaks - it really is says:
    June 11, 2008 at 10:10 am

    […] it’s really quite staggering the extent to which the mccain campaign appears to be amateur hour. (some more context here) […]

  7. Days when it is too easy being Jon Stewart « The Inverse Square Blog says:
    June 11, 2008 at 10:46 am

    […] Days when it is too easy being Jon Stewart Update: Never underestimate the power of the intertubes.  Seems the McCain ‘08 web gurus need a little more seasoning.  They enabled comments (reviews, actually) of the golf gear mentioned below.  Reviews they got — and somehow managed to miss the content of those comments for nine pages worth of thoughtful criticism.  The function has been disabled now, sadly, and the offending comments removed, but not before John Cole and especially his inimitable chorus got a chance to weigh in.  Enjoy. […]

  8. Helpful Reviews says:
    June 11, 2008 at 11:48 am

    […] Balloon Juice – High Comedy at the McCain Golf Store […]

  9. The Raw Story » McCain belatedly scrubs mocking comments from Web store says:
    June 11, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    […] For McCain mockers worldwide, the insulting reviews have been archived by John Cole at Balloon Juice and the commenters at Wonkette. […]

  10. brainrow :: Punk Kids! says:
    June 11, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    […] Via Eschaton: The McCain campaign is selling golf gear as a fund-raiser. The product page originally invited customers to leave a review, and some people weren’t taking it seriously. […]

  11. Particles says:
    June 11, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    Bad campaign merchandising.

    Bad campaign merchandising….

  12. John McCain’s Balls « Regime Change Begins At Home says:
    June 12, 2008 at 10:38 am

    […] John Cole has them all, but here’s a taste. You are hereby advised to put down any liquids you may be consuming: […]

  13. John McCain won’t let the war stop him from golfing | President-Obama.com says:
    June 12, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    […] John Cole has them all, but here’s a taste. You are hereby advised to put down any liquids you may be consuming: […]

  14. My Online Chat with John McCain at politburo diktat 2.0 says:
    June 14, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    […] Commissar: maybe i should just buy some golf gear Bushcloneoheight: […]

  15. Noise Is Information » Blog Archive » Fun with JohnMcCain.com Online Store says:
    June 19, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    […] Fortunately, BalloonJuice.com caught a screen grab before McCain staffers realized and took down the comment section from the site. […]

  16. » McCain Store Reviews says:
    June 30, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    […] You’re probably all aware that McCain and Obama (and probably most candidates) have online stores where you can purchase gear. What I didn’t know is that they both set up a system where people can leave reviews of the products, like Amazon or something. McCain’s review section was initially not moderated, prompting people — including, it would appear, a large number of Wonkette posters — to leave some pretty hysterical responses. Although the site has now been scrubbed clean, most of the better reviews were saved for perpetuity here, here, here, and here. […]

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