Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you don’t.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Welcome to day five of every-bit-as-bad-as-you-thought-it-would-be.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Let’s show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. Do not congratulate. This is not business as usual.

Alternative history is always a weak argument. Always.

Washington Post’s Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Cancel the cowardly WaPo and set up an equivalent monthly donation to ProPublica.

You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2008 / More Fun at the McCain Store

More Fun at the McCain Store

by | 72 Comments

This post is in: ,

This place is the gift that keeps on giving. Via the comments section at the GOS, we see that you can also purchase the McCain Nautical Lapel Pin for the modest price of $200.00:

Take it away, GOS:

The flippin’ $200 boat lapel pin (what’s this, a yacht tax?), spells his initials with nautical flags. Thing is, nautical flags also refer to conditions. The flags mean:

J – Juliet – On Fire, Keep Clear
S – Sierra – Engines Going Astern
M – Mike – I Am Stopped

Perfect metaphor for the whole dang campaign.

We rate this a “Heh-Indeedy!”

Reader Interactions

72Comments

  2. 2.

    Incertus

    That is too fucking funny. It’s almost as though McCain’s campaign has been infiltrated with Democratic operatives–or conversely, that it’s been staffed with fucking morons.

  3. 3.

    dianeb

    If people had only known to consult the flags 8 years ago.

    G–Golf–Want a Pilot

    W–Whiskey–Requite Medical Assistance
    B–Bravo–Dangerous Cargo

  6. 6.

    OriGuy

    B – Bravo – Dangerous Cargo
    H – Hotel – Pilot On Board
    O – Oscar – Man Overboard

    Not sure that’s any better, although I like the “Pilot On Board”. Maybe the “Man Overboard” is GWB.

  7. 7.

    OriGuy

    Now that I think about it, after seeing dianeb’s comment, it makes perfect sense. Bush is the dangerous cargo, Obama is the pilot who comes onboard to guide the ship, and tosses the dangerous cargo overboard.

  8. 8.

    Dennis - SGMM

    You guys are going to eat your words when you see the John McCain Lunch Box. At only $750 per, average working guys will snap them up to show their support for Johnny.

  9. 9.

    TheFountainHead

    I’m sorry, but who sat down at a meeting and said, “You know what, nautical lapel pins are a great idea!”

  10. 10.

    fuddmain

    You guys are going to eat your words when you see the John McCain Lunch Box. At only $750 per, average working guys will snap them up to show their support for Johnny.

    The perfect vessel for cottage cheese lime jello salad.

  12. 12.

    RSA

    I can’t be the only one immature enough to think that the initials J[i]SM are an attempt to counteract the bad press about McCain’s advanced age, can I? Maybe Bob Dole was consulted on this one.

  15. 15.

    Bubblegum Tate

    We rate this a “Heh-Indeedy!”

    I’d even go so far as to rate it as a “Heh–Indizzley-dozzley-doo!”

    I know he’s dead and all, but I keep expecting Allen Funt to jump out from behind McCain’s backdrop to let everybody in on the joke.

  16. 16.

    jibeaux

    It’s awesome, and it’s sequential, for heaven’s sake. We are currently in On Fire, Keep Clear. Election Day will start with Engines Going Astern, to be followed rapidly by I Am Stopped.

  17. 17.

    rob!

    Allen Funt to jump out from behind McCain’s backdrop

    even Allen Funt knew you don’t use sickly green on TV.

  18. 18.

    dr. bloor

    McCain Nautical Lapel Pin

    “Looks like the bees knees on your yachting blazer, or even better, your favorite lady’s blue dress.”

  19. 19.

    brklyngrl

    Looks like Nautical McCain comes in a hat, too. Going for the all-important yachting demographic this campaign season, I see.

    Also, am I correct in assessing that the McCain store, with the exception of $50 Ladies Polo, does not offer any women’s apparel?

  20. 20.

    Zifnab

    B – Bravo – Dangerous Cargo
    H – Hotel – Pilot On Board
    O – Oscar – Man Overboard

    Not sure that’s any better, although I like the “Pilot On Board”. Maybe the “Man Overboard” is GWB.

    I think it indicates he’s going to turn the ship of state into a cruise missile of America-hating suicide bomber hood.

  21. 21.

    SpotWeld

    Why would anyone pay $200 to look like the night manager of a Long John Silver’s?

  24. 24.

    jake

    Also, am I correct in assessing that the McCain store, with the exception of $50 Ladies Polo, does not offer any women’s apparel?

    Hmm. That would mean the pink and lime green polos are for men.

    Yeah I know pink is OK. But not THAT pink. And not from the Mantastic Men club that is the GOP.

    Note: There’s no excuse to wear that color green. Ever.

  25. 25.

    Liz

    Wow, yachting-themed lapel pins, golf supplies… yup, courting the regular joe. At least the regular joes with yachts or golf clubs.

  26. 26.

    JC

    I’m voting against McSame, just like any other rational being – but there is another like at GOS, that actually, make me like the guy more.

    Link here

    He could be posting HERE at Balloon Juice, and get along just fine:

    Speaking at a luncheon at which McCain was in attendance, former Phoenix Mayor Paul Johnson was among a group of local mayors fielding questions from the Arizona Congressional delegation about local land issues. In the midst of one answer from Johnson, who helmed the city from 1990 to 1994, McCain blurted out, “Hold it a minute. Somebody write down everything this guy has to say. You know what, we need to record him. It’s best to get a liar on tape.”

    Is there someone who thinks that Johnson ISN’T a liar?

    McCain became infuriated, jumping from his chair and calling his fellow Republican a “shithead,” prompting an immediate demand for an apology. McCain stood up again and issued it…sort of. “Okay, I apologize,” he said. “But you’re still a shithead.”

    What’s not to like about that?

    In staunch disagreement with a particular portion of a budget amendment, McCain exploded. “Only an asshole would put together a budget like that.” Domenici, who’d been in the Senate nearly 30 years by that point, gave a restrained reply, noting that even in the most heated debated throughout his entire career, no one had ever used that kind of language toward him. McCain didn’t back down. “I wouldn’t call you an asshole unless you really were an asshole.”

    Pete Domenici IS an asshole!!

    3. After a blistering commentary by McCain, Grassley took offense. “Are you calling me stupid?” he asked.

    McCain didn’t miss a beat. “No, I’m calling you a fucking jerk.

    Ha-ha! Belongs here on Balloon Juice!!

  27. 27.

    JC

    Note, of course, that if Obama was found using this type of language, it would be the end of him – the “angry black man”, and all.

    IOKIYAAR, is still indeed in full force.

  28. 28.

    JGabriel

    Ah, but my favorite part is the In The News section (emphasis added):

    06.11 ICYMI: Barack Obama Says He Voted With President Bush “For The Most Part”

    06.10 ICYMI: “Okla. Dem Calls Obama Liberal, Declines To Endorse”

    06.10 Remarks by John McCain at the NFIB and eBay 2008 National Small Business Summit

    06.10 Barack Obama‘s Agenda For Higher Energy Taxes

    06.09 Statement On Obama Campaign And Subprime Mortgage Lenders

    06.09 ICYMI: McCain Campaign Conference Call On Barack Obama‘s Economic Speech

    Six stories, and five of them feature Obama?

    Thanks for the free advertising, John.

    Seriously, ‘News’ sections at similiar sites are usually a mix of PR releases and links to news stories emphasizing the candidate’s own positive achievements. I’m guessing McCain doesn’t have any?

    I mean, they’re not doing anything to promote McCain as a candidate, just tearing at Obama. They’re making no appeal to anyone outside of McCain’s already diminishing base.

    Weird and incompetent. And pretty funny.

    .

  29. 29.

    Martin

    Laura Bush’s Airstream. (h/t Wonkette)

    McCain should sell these on his website. I wonder if they slow the plane down to 20MPH when going over mountains when that thing is on board?

  30. 30.

    JGabriel

    JC:

    Ha-ha! [McCain] Belongs here on Balloon Juice!!

    Better here than the Oval Office…

    .

  31. 31.

    RSA

    Ah, but my favorite part is the In The News section (emphasis added)

    Check out the Republican National Committee Web page. 8 mentions of Obama, 0 of McCain. You’d never know who the Republican candidate was, from reading their front page.

  33. 33.

    Keith

    It looks like some combo move for a PS3 game: “Smile” “Give a thumbs up” “Insult your wife”

  34. 34.

    JGabriel

    The Fountainhead:

    I’m sorry, but who sat down at a meeting and said, “You know what, nautical lapel pins are a great idea!”

    Honestly, I’m more interested in the guy who responded, “Yeah! And $200 would be a great price point!”

    Now that’s a fucking idiot.

    .

  35. 35.

    cbear

    This place is the gift that keeps on giving. Via the comments section at the GOS, we see that you can also purchase the McCain Nautical Lapel Pin for the modest price of $200.00:

    What’s next? Captain Hazelwood John McCain nautical bobblehead dolls for $1000.

  36. 36.

    Cyrus

    JGabriel Says:
    Ah, but my favorite part is the In The News section (emphasis added):

    06.11 ICYMI: Barack Obama Says He Voted With President Bush “For The Most Part”

    I liked that one. Maybe I should just follow the link, but I’m unclear on how that’s an attack. “Barack Obama says he voted with President Bush ‘for the most part,'”… but not always? For shame, Obama. Or, alternately, maybe McCain is saying that Obama shouldn’t have even voted for Bush that much? Or saying that Obama is only pretending to be liberal now but he actually has been willing to work with the administration? Or the reverse, that they can take for granted that he hasn’t voted with Bush much so if Obama’s saying he has, then he’s lying?

  37. 37.

    The Moar You Know

    I keep trying to think of ways to troll McCain supporters but McCain keeps coming up with better ideas than mine.

  38. 38.

    JGabriel

    RSA:

    JGabriel: Ah, but my favorite part is the home page In The News section (emphasis added)

    Check out the Republican National Committee Web page. 8 mentions of Obama, 0 of McCain. You’d never know who the Republican candidate was, from reading their front page.

    And filled with photos and montages of Obama with nary a sight of McCain to be found.

    Instead of “Vote McCain”, the campaign theme really is “Vote Against The Negro”.

    Jackasses.

    .

  39. 39.

    Cyrus

    And re: the original post, to be fair, we can’t read too much into the meaning of the nautical signs, because something like of those are distress signals of various kinds. Anyone whose initials include only the following letters A, B, D, E, F, J, M, N, O, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y or Z would wind up looking pretty stupid, if rendered to nautical signal flags.

  42. 42.

    phobos

    Check out the Republican National Committee Web page. 8 mentions of Obama, 0 of McCain. You’d never know who the Republican candidate was, from reading their front page.

    They used to have a web poll on their “Meet Barack Obama” ratfuck page. Something along the lines of “Do you think Barack Obama is qualified to be president? (yes/no)”. The results were apparently not what they expected.

    Being quick on their feet, they’ve since changed it to “What do you believe to be Barack Obama’s greatest weakness as a Presidential Candidate?”.

    Internet savvy, we haz it.

  44. 44.

    cleek

    re: the original post, to be fair, we can’t read too much into the meaning of the nautical signs, because something like of those are distress signals of various kinds.

    another reason to have avoided a sea-flag lapel pin in the first place.

  46. 46.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    Anyone whose initials include only the following letters A, B, D, E, F, J, M, N, O, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y or Z would wind up looking pretty stupid, if rendered to nautical signal flags.

    I am so screwed.

    I am On Fire, Disabled, and Carrying Dangerous Cargo.

  47. 47.

    Dreggas

    Being quick on their feet, they’ve since changed it to “What do you believe to be Barack Obama’s greatest weakness as a Presidential Candidate?”.

    Internet savvy, we haz it.

    the only thing weak is his opponent.

  49. 49.

    NonWonderDog

    “All purchases are contribution to John McCain 2008 and count toward your contribution limit.”

    So, kickbacks. Donate $50, get some golf balls; donate $200, get a nautical-themed pin; donate $100,000 in bundles, get favourable legislation rammed through congress. In the McCain campaign, bribery works on a sliding scale.

  50. 50.

    BM

    Hmm. $200 for a pin? Is this a loophole in campaign finance limits and reporting requirements? What’s to stop Jack Abramoff from anonymously buying 1000 John McCain Yacht Lapel Pins?

  51. 51.

    AnneLaurie

    What was the name of the clueless rich fvck character on Gilligan’s Island — Thurston Howell III? Didn’t he wear a yatching costume, too?

  52. 52.

    KRK

    Cyrus Says:

    And re: the original post, to be fair, we can’t read too much into the meaning of the nautical signs, because something like of those are distress signals of various kinds.

    I don’t know. They’re pretty on the money for me:

    Kilo – I wish to communicate with you.
    Romeo – no meaning (alt. meaning: Preparing to replenish. snack?)
    Kilo – I wish to communicate with you

  53. 53.

    jake

    What was the name of the clueless rich fvck character on Gilligan’s Island—Thurston Howell III? Didn’t he wear a yatching costume, too?

    Yers, Lovey.

  54. 54.

    Calouste

    nightjar Says:

    Hey it takes a lot of Deutschmarks to run against Putin for PResident of Germany.

    June 11th, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    McCain probably thinks they still use Deutschmarks in Germany, although he is most likely to refer to them as Reichsmarks.

  55. 55.

    Should Know Better

    O – Oscar – Man Overboard

    “Pushing someone off the yatch’ is the new ‘throwing someone under the bus’!

  56. 56.

    Blue Raven

    I am On Fire, Disabled, and Carrying Dangerous Cargo.

    I am Dangerous Cargo Disabled, Stand Clear. Pleasure to meet you.

  57. 57.

    rawshark

    I mean, they’re not doing anything to promote McCain as a candidate, just tearing at Obama. They’re making no appeal to anyone outside of McCain’s already diminishing base

    Why should they? McCain’s running for president against a black guy. Why bother to make your case. Just keep the focus on his skin color and wait for all the ‘I’ll never let a black man be president of my country’ people to do your work for you.

  58. 58.

    maxbaer (not the original)

    “Pushing someone off the yatch’ is the new ‘throwing someone under the bus’!

    That’s beautiful! I really hope that it catches on.

  59. 59.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    Why would anyone pay $200 to look like the night manager of a Long John Silver’s?

    they say a man should always dress for the job he wants…

    Win.

  60. 60.

    ByerlyTurk

    On a more serious note, you might find it interesting how this dovetails into what some people have been saying for 41 years about McCain’s role in the USS Forrestal fire that killed 138(?) sailors…

    The admirial’s son gets the whitewash. This also occurred about a month after the USS Liberty incident in the Med.

    Am I the only one that notes that the man is named after the first murderer?

  61. 61.

    christine

    Obama’s lapel pin: $10.
    McCain’s lapel pin: (2) $150., $200

    Obama’s Embroidered Fleece Blanket $30.
    McCain Embroidered Fleece Blanket $75.

  62. 62.

    Polly Wonka

    I hope they will sell a makeup kit stencilled with McCain’s favorite “C” word for his wife.

  63. 63.

    PeterJ

    I hope they will sell a makeup kit stencilled with McCain’s favorite “C” word for his wife.

    That would be

    Yes
    Standing into Danger
    No
    Keep Clear

  64. 64.

    Armando

    “I christen thee The Flying WASP.”

    Ah yes, but Obama is the elitist? This does give me a wonderful idea though; I’m gonna take my FREE MoveOn.org Obama 08 sticker and put it on my two person kayak.

    I wonder what Johnny ‘Stray Talk Express”, Judge & Mrs. Smails will think of that?

  65. 65.

    Stop Depleted Uranium

    I just got an 800 dollar hearing aid from the store… it comes without a battery compartment to easily keep those pesky facts out.
    I love it and ordered several more for my family and friends.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks