This may be the greatest thread in the history of the intertrons.
Long story short, D at Lawyers, Guns and Money writes a “Shorter Geraldine Ferraro Neo-neocon” in which the neo-neocon post is summarized, and a troll comes along and states:
As a participant in the thread that follows the link to neoneocon, I should like to point out that the quote you excerpted
does not exist
in neoneocon’s post. Nor does it exist in the comments.
When the shorter concept is explained to him, he/she responds:
I am aware of all internet traditions and also of literary conventions in which placing something in quotes or in a blockquote means that your are quoting that person.
But here you are not.
It seems to me that what your are about is, well, sort of questionable.
Can you please expand on the idea your propose that putting something in blockquotes that does not appear at the linked item is a fair thing to do.
I am laughing so hard there are tears streaming down my face. Epic.
*** Update ***
Yes.
Steve Balboni
Oh my. I see someone else in that thread already posted my response, but I shall repeat it for emphasis
FAIL
Jon
That looks for all the world like an Onion headline circa 1999.
It is, indeed, priceless.
Zifnab
It’s also worth noting that even if that quote had been in the linked piece, the kerning was off.
Zifnab
Also, OT, but HOLY SHIT! That’s a swan dive off the deep end if ever I saw one.
ThymeZone
Yes, Blogospheric Navel Gazing is the right category.
I think we are one notch away from lint examination.
cbear
Monkey Flys Out Of Man’s Ass.
Film at 11–
joe
In the spirit of that criticism, may I just say,
“STRAWMAN! STRAWMAN! THAT’S A STRAWMAN!!!!1!1!eleven!!
When you’re ready to have a serious conversation about the status of concubines on the Ferengi homeworld, you know where to find me.”
Lee
And in the comments to that post, someone had to bring up 2 Girls and 1 Cup, which I didn’t know anything about. I Googled it. I regret it. Sometimes the intertubes can lead you to some disturbing places.
Paul Weimer
Phrase of the day: “I am aware of all internet traditions.”
Incertus
With any luck, that will become the next “all your base are belong to us.”
jibeaux
That is, just, funny, is what that is.
Grand Moff Texan
Dog-pile on the noob!
.
jibeaux
Also, ten bucks says said troll is not aware of the MUP.
In internet tradition, I don’t actually have to tender the money, right?
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
In the Soviet Union, all internet traditions are aware of you.
kate r
I’d buy the teeshirt. Anyone set up a shop yet?
jake
All UR traditions R belong 2 Us.
Please God, let this be someone who speaks EaaSL. Otherwise I’ll have to feel sorry for the poor bastard with a telephone pole up his ass.
jake
Damn! Sorry Incertus, I was laughing too hard.
Stooleo
The teeshirt needs to have a picture of Leonard Nimoy saying “I am aware of all internet traditions”
I’d buy it !
Punchy
THe neo-neocon bitch is deleting posts.
I wrote something somewhat snarky, not even that funny, and it was gone in 3 minutes. Three damn minutes to the dustbin. It confirms…she’s a Republican!
Xanthippas
I thought I was the only idiot liberal who visited that dump of a blog on a regular basis (Neo, not LGM) so I was quite pleased to see that post get some attention at LGM, and now one of the idiot commentators on the LGM post get some attention here. The comment thread at Neo, usually filled with rabid right-wingers who supplicate before the awesome wisdom of Neo herself, is now rapidly filling up with comments from those who’re visiting from the LGM post and firing off drive-by snark and mocking. And why not? The reason I’ve commented at Neo so regularly is because it’s the rhetorical equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel. I’m glad to see some others getting in on the fun.
LanceThruster
I would have liked to have read the links…but NetFlix blocked my series of tubes. I don’t even get my mail on time.
Dennis - SGMM
I’d love to hear, “I am aware of all Internet traditions,” in the Cylon voice from the original BSG.
Jon H
“The teeshirt needs to have a picture of Leonard Nimoy saying “I am aware of all internet traditions”
Or Doctor Theopolis from Buck Rogers, the little round-face supercomputer that Twiki wore like Flava Flav’s clock.
LS
What makes it even better is that the idiot appears to be Gerard “I Make Fun of Cancer Patients” Van De Leun. Either that or someone trying to make him look really stupid. But if it is Van Der Leun, he’s no noob.
Xanthippas
Yeah, she does that now, which is why you won’t see any of my comments either. But you guys should at least make her work at it a little bit. Give her plenty to delete.
Jon H
What’s hilarious is that Mr “Aware Of All Internet Traditions” apparently used to run Penthouse’s internet operations.
Rome Again
Shorter “participant”
RSA
But that can’t be! She writes,
Rome Again
I no longer have any faith in the human race.
Incertus
I had to do it–“We are aware of all internet traditions” is now my blog’s tagline. I couldn’t help myself.
RSA
Okay, those of you with blogs: Google currently has only 7 hits for I am aware of all Internet traditions. Time to get to work.
jenniebee
Neo-neocon’s commenters are just so preciously precocious, too:
FredHjr Says:
Summing up:
It’s a known fact that only Muslims blow goats, so ipso facto, hocus pocus, because shut up, that’s why, John McCain probably hasn’t blown goats.
Is it responsible to speculate about Mrs. Obama’s plans, re: killing whitey? It would be irresponsible not to!
I know two Latin phrases, neither of which is argumentum ad absurdum.
“Classic” is not necessarily the same as “from another era.”
S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!
John in Chicago
“And in the comments to that post, someone had to bring up 2 Girls and 1 Cup, which I didn’t know anything about. I Googled it. I regret it. Sometimes the intertubes can lead you to some disturbing places.”
Whatever you do, do not do a google image search for “tub girl”. Just. Don’t.
Dan
Mine too. It was just sarcastic, no profanity. Poof. Gone in about 2 minutes.
Rome Again
Well, I dunno TZ, bellybutton lint inspection can be quite interesting, if you get my drift! ;)
Mike P
IAAOAIT?
jibeaux
Interestingly, the original source doesn’t seem to come up.
Perhaps this is an internet tradition.
If only there were someone I could ask…
jenniebee
sigh, the Ordered List tag worked in the preview…
John Cole
What the hell is wrong with you all that you insist on calling women a bitch?
For christ sakes, could you knock it off? Jesus. It really pisses me off, and there is no need to making yourself look like a sexist jackass.
Additionally, every time one of you shitheads does that, someone else invariably will claim that I condone that bullshit, when I clearly do not.
Dennis - SGMM
Is “Neo-neocon,” a visit to the Department of Redundancy Department, stuttering, or shorthand for “stupid, squared”?
Sirkowski
That’s a new meme.
The Grand Panjandrum
Thanks. This WAS a great thread until that comment. Took the wind right out of the old comedic sails.
Dennis - SGMM
jenniebee, Phrenology Majors need love too.
Dan
I didn’t call her a bitch, I just blockquoted Punchy. Sorry. You are right. I will be more careful and hopefully Punchy will be more thoughtful.
And the neoneocon woman is a shithead. K?
El Cid
I Am All Internet Traditions.
demimondian
I am aware of all internet traditions.
Which, unfortunately, include hot grits, Natalie Portman, Ogg the Cavemen, and the fact the I must be new here.
BH-Buck
You’re right, “bitch” is a tad bit strong here.
But what do you call someone who just deleted your post? Who gagged you? Who silenced you? Who said “phuck you” when you voiced your opinion?
Too far? Perhaps. But there are a lot of people out there who would have said far worse.
demimondian
And that, of course, will bring the End of the Net As We Know It.
So why don’t you just take it to alt.flame?
Punchy
I agree. I’m glad that word is never spoken here. Clearly it’s not appropriate for someone who is wantonly trying to defame a public figure, using the absolutely absurd arguing style of “I’m glad there’s not a video of MO having a gang-bang, but if there was, it’s clear she’s a slut”.
Yes, we must reserve such language for people who deserve it. My apologies to the polite, fair, intellectually honest, and clearly-isnt-a-liar cuz she doesn’t delete comments even though she does.
Show a little class, you jackasses.
Face
Maybe you should delete Punchy’s comments. So we can call you an asshole for doing so. Except that’s not condoned by you, so you’d have to delete that, too.
It’s good to have sterile comments section. Maybe Father Fondlekids will be able to read this entire post in church on Sunday!
John Cole
How about asshole?
So your only response is to call her a bitch? I can think of a number of things to call people who do that, without having to resort to the bottom rung of sexist insults.
BethanyAnne
new favorite guild name: “Two Gruuls One Cup”
Pb
You must be new here — you forgot The Glorious MEEPT!!, you insensitive clod! However, I for one welcome our newbie overlords.
BH-Buck
I think I did say that “Bitch” was a tad bit strong.
The guy just had a comment deleted (which I think is a damn big deal), then caught hell here. Just not his day I reckon.
Would have been nice to have witnessed a bit understanding.
cleek
if i had an ounce of graphic design talent (or if the GIMP’s font selection dialog didn’t render the entire application useless), i’d whip up a little graphic badge to certify that the owner of a website is, in fact, aware of all internet traditions.
John Cole
My personal favorite alliance guild names were:
“At Least We Took Stables”
and
“She Swore She Was Level 18”
Grand Moff Texan
It’s almost as funny as the AP talking about the spirit of the internet.
.
Incertus
The understanding thing would be not to grouse about it when the host asks you not to use sexist slurs. Hell, Obsidian Wings asks that you not use curse words in the comments, and everyone there (once they see the rule) tends to follow them. It’s called being courteous to your host.
sidereal
Are you, sir? Are you?!!
John D.
Favorite WOW guild name, ever.
“AFK on your sister” — On Demon Soul, a PvP server.
Dennis - SGMM
Absolutely, but they’ll pry my misanthropy from my cold, dead fingers!
John Cole
There was a horde guild named “Your Mom Is My Epic Mount” on a server I was on a few years ago.
BethanyAnne
My all time favorite is “It hurts when I PvP”
Punchy
Thanks, Dad.
jake
Like the Spirit of Radio.
But with 110% more nudity.
Shinobi
She could also be a douche bag, and asshat or less profanely a tyrant.
(Actually I think if you called her a tyrannical bitch it would seem less sexist as you are specifically referencing her slightly evil action of subjugating your right to free speech.)
jenniebee
When I debated in college, I had it explained to me very succinctly. There are fewer women than men in Debate Clubs because when a guy beats you he’s a hella good debater; when a woman beats you, she’s a bitch. Cynthia Heimel said it perfectly: a bitch is a woman a man can’t control. She doesn’t have to do anything particularly emasculating or defiant or even gender-aware to qualify – a mild competitive drive, a soupcon of personal ambition, or even your garden-variety independent streak is all that’s required to achieve bitchiness.
Neo-neocon, however, is an insecure, self-deluded tool. Don’t drag us bitches down to her level.
jon
How big a step is is from “I am aware of all internet traditions” to “Why do you assume I like Rick Astley?”
Dennis - SGMM
I haven’t seen that one since the mid-Nineties.
Incertus
GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!
horatius
My favorite Wow Guild? – Strategery
MR Bill
I’m struck by the Pythonesque quality of vanderleun’s trip:
came to have an argument and instead got ‘being hit in the head lessons’.
And the deathless phrase “I am aware of all internet traditions” lends itself to paraphrase:
“I am aware of all Negro traditions”..
(not that that makes much more sense).
John Cole
Another good guild name- OMG WHO TALKED TO DOMO
sidereal
John Cole Says:
Busted.
Martin
So, if anyone here needs help with their internet traditions, just let John know and he can kick it up the sponsor chain.
horatius
How about a Masters degree in “All Internet Traditions”. We surely seem to have the foremost expert in the world with us.
Queixada
Time to flood /b/
Either this or, “I am aware of all internet traditions is not a meme” will become a meme. lmao
sidereal
I’ll take Mr “I am aware” in an Internet-tradition-off any day of the week. I’ll start with alt.pave.the.earth and have him begging for mercy before we even make it to Mahir.
Dork
What’s with the apple-in-front-of-her-mug shot all about? Is there some symbolism that connects a Granny Smith to a douchebag?
I simply cannot wait for Nov. 5. I’m taking the day off of work, just so I can devote the entire day to trolling the wingers’ blogs, watching heads explode all over the place. If Mrs. Obama’s 20+ year-old college thesis is all they have on Barry Obama….well….damn….they’re toast.
Queixada
Vanderleun, he’s a pretty cool guy.
eh knows all internet traditions and doesn’t afraid of anything.
Zifnab
/me slaps “Participant” in the face with a large trout
MNPundit
I declare this an open thread:
I also announce that Ice Road Truckers is back for Season 2, now!!
HAHA!
4tehlulz
gb2/b/ Queixada
4tehlulz
Domo?
Mary
OK, you asked for it.
I feel unclean now.
Ninerdave
But we can call you a bitch right?
Llelldorin
And, in one of my proudest moments of nerdiness-beyond-the-call-of-geekery, the word “Are” appeared in purple, not blue, on my first visit to this thread.
Follow the seventh comment with “No it’s a BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER…” and we may, indeed, be zooming in on “all Internet Traditions.” We just need the evil overlord list and some Babylon 5 light bulb jokes.
montysano
OK, apparently I’m now banned and deleted at neo-neocon’s joint. No obscenity, no ad hominems.
But I learned something: “democracy” and “liberty” are sneaky leftist code words for “communism”. Who knew?
Ninerdave
Guild names:
Our crits are real. (all girl guild)
STDs are BOP.
and agree with above It hurts when I PvP is teh awesome.
There was a guy running around my server with the name of “Sh” and the guild tag of
That was pretty great.
Ninerdave
That should read…guild tag of “It”
cleek
Domo?
Domo.
Tim (The Other One)
“I Am All Internet Traditions.”
awesome MST3K subliminal reference. Indeed, central to your point.
Soylent Green
She lifted it from a famous painting by the artist Rene Magritte.
demimondian
Mercy.
Then again, Pb — you might want to think about who actually *wront* MEEPT!
— demi “cuz I sure won’t fess to OGG” mondian
A Different JC
So the guy Vanderlun is real? I did a quick google for the name and came across this website (which is apparently about politics and pictures of women in hot-pants).
However, he does link to this website which is totally awesome: Make your own Obama Poster.
And to save you time “I am aware of all internet traditions” is too long for the web-widget. Maybe someone with better art can do it tho.
sidereal
Frequent hampsterdance visitor, are we?
Shygetz
I picture him saying it in a C3PO voice.
I always pictured “bitch” as a sex-specific insult, not a sexist insult. Kinda like “dick” is a sex-specific insult, but I wouldn’t think it sexist against men.
Llelldorin
In my defense, I was trying to explain it to my son. It’s pretty hard to do that without actually going there.
A Different JC
OK, I did my best. Obama and the Internet Knowledge poster.
lorri
From reading the comments on Neo-Coochie’s article, I learn that:
“Bitch” is out. “Conspiracy minded racist cooch” is in.
And could someone please post a link to the video of John McCain raping the goat?
Whoo-ee, the things you learn about on conservative blogs!
Seanly
Wouldn’t that be sexist also? Let’s all just agree that she is a stupid asshat.
Incontinentia Buttocks
One likes to believe in the freedom of music
But glittering prizes and endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity
Yeah!
Damn you, Mary! Now I’ll have this running through my head for the rest of the day…
Of salesman…of SALESmen…of SALESMEN!
cornbread
that was me. and you’re welcome.
Laertes
Call her an asshole. It’s offensive and crude, but gender-neutral.
pharniel
jenniebee Says:
In my high school days the debate team was in the vast majority of women.
‘bitch’ then was the other girl who refused to be beat like she should have been.
it’s not just men that use it as a term of control/dominance.
Darkrose
I hope that ends up on a t-shirt.
Brachiator
With all due respect (and I echo your distaste for this word), the b-word ain’t even in the middle rung of sexist insults.
Trollop, for instance. Now there’s an insult.
The funny thing is that the b-word is becoming gender neutral (in the current PG-13 rated Adam Sandler movie, “You Don’t Mess With the Zohan,” the word is only used to describe male characters).
But linguistic traditions evolve faster than all the internet traditions.
HyperIon
i’m sure your momma is very proud (NOT).
warcabbit
ARMM: ARMM: ARMM: ARMM:
September never ended
Serdar Argic is a Turkey.
Man, there’s a lot of internet traditions. Heck, foo, bar, baz, qux, even.
Blue Raven
KIBO!
*looks around expectantly*
warcabbit
Your Kibo number is two.
redbeardjim
I got email from Ted Holden once. I was so proud.
And I’m fond of “And Two Stealthed Rogues” as a guild name.
redbeardjim
“UN-Altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this IMPORTANT INFORMATION is Encouraged.”
Michael
By popular demand:
I am aware of all internet traditions.
The Moar You Know
Amen. And the cancer rages on, unchecked.
Dr. Squid
MJEOW
Does his head look like an olive loaf?
BethanyAnne
and since my guild apparently imploded last night, I may have to re-create my toon’s old one. I can’t claim credit for the name, but I hadn’t seen it as a guild. The toon is “Floozie”, and the guild is “Fist me like a Muppet”
:-D
Jess
I LOVE Heimel’s “bitch” rant! When I hear a guy use that term, I always want to comment “you say ‘bitch’ like it’s a bad thing…”
Don’t waste compliments like ‘bitch’ on that Neo-Neocon twit.
Gus
The LOLCat link is genius. I’m a sucker for Scottish folds.
JoshA
A different JC, very funny. Now how about one with McCain? :)
A Different JC
Poifect, Michael. Thanks.
I’d be all over it if I knew how to program
Mike P
Michael,
Bravo.
rawshark
Gender neutral? Why would you call a woman by a gender neutral insult? If I called a woman an asshole her first reaction ought to be ‘asshole?! do I look like a man to you?’.
sidereal
My entry
Thom
That’s exactly what I thought. But I pictured the kid who pretended he was Data on The Next Generation.
caleb
I Am aware Of All Internet Traditions.
(Idea shamelessly stolen from comment section over at LG&M.)
Conservatively Liberal
Of All Internet Traditions Aware I am.
For the Yoda Republicans.
Tom
I’m so glad I put down my glass of wine before reading this. I’d be pretty busy cleaning up stuff otherwise.
Chet Scoville
Chuck Norris is aware of all internet traditions.
Calouste
Truthified.
rachel
There’s gotta be a macro for that.
V
It is grammatically incorrect to refer to someone who has no genitals with a sex-specific insult. So there.
hysperia
Here’s what Melissa MacEwan at Shakesville has to say about the use of douchebag:
“Actually, douching was a terribly anti-woman practice designed to make women feel ashamed about their natural body odor. Repeated douching can wash away the lining of the uterus, making it not just pointless but dangerous. So, when one needs a word to describe, say, our pointless and dangerous president, one would be hard-pressed to find a better word than douchebag.”
Much better than “bitch” frankly and John Cole I’ve never seen a guy blogger take this question up, thanks. It was the only low point, for me, in an otherwise great night!
“Women for Internet Tradition Awareness” [WITA]
HeartlandLiberal
Since I AM aware of all Internet traditions, I will point out that the first letter in the word “Internet” is what some of us in the trade call a “big letter”.
Xanthippas
Oh man, this is freaking awesome. Thanks to LGM and Balloon Juice, I’m going to witness the birth of a new internet meme. I can tell people I was right there at the beginning, and I’ll be able to PROVE it as long as Cole doesn’t delete my comments just to be mean.
362 and counting, as of about 10 seconds ago.
Jill
Wow. Fastest. Internet. Meme. Ever. I can has internet traditions?
chiggins
To defy the laws of internet traditions
Is a crusade only of the brave
Anselm
On the Internet, nobody knows if you are aware of all Internet traditions.
Lockwood
OK, I’ve seen several references to this today. After being offline for a couple of days, I was a little baffled, but assumed it was some obscure viral situation. I appreciate finally getting the backstory: it’s like a good hot sauce. At first it just seemed pathetic, then the humor became more and more intense, until I burst out laughing. Thanks! The point of the comment is that two lines occur to me:
Traditions!???? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRADITIONS!!!
Hmmm… You know, I’ve been to every single page on the internet, and I’ve never seen the traditions listed anywhere.
LanceThruster
Though this thread is now old I hope this can be continued anew somewhere else.
Vanderleun claims to be “aware of all internet traditions”, yet one that is most sacrosanct in my mind is the understanding that one does not “doctor” someone else’s posts or comments. There is enough problem having to stand by/defend every single thing one has written on the intrawebs, but when one has to deal with an unethical and unprincipled siteowner changing comments for his or her own amusement (and more importantly because he or she is receiving a royal ass whuppin’), then that goes against the Pirate Code.
I hereby accuse master Vanderleun, and his crappy site “American Digest” of breaking Article III of the Pirate Code (Edward Low and George Lowther version) whereby: “III. He that shall be found Guilty of Cowardice in the time of engagements, shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and the Majority of the Company shall think fit.”
[EXHIBIT #1] – “I love Jane, Wolcott kicks ass, and Kos is the most!
And you? Even more than the three rocket scientists above. You are better than all three combined.
Thanks for the larf male and single though you’re probably not aware of your full comic potential. I say that because I am the great Lance Thruster and thrust my lance whenever even a tree holds still.
You’re like a prop comic but without the props or the comedy. Did I really just right that? Oh well, never mind. The codeine kicked in when I wasn’t looking.
Posted by: LanceThruster at January 4, 2007 4:22 PM”
—-
It is typical of Vanderleun not to know the dif between “right” and “write, although being aware of all internet traditions as he is, he would know that spell flames are only appropriate in certain circumstances (as when someone is braying about how smart they are – S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T).
Hopefully now you can all see that Vanderleun is worse than Hitler (see internet tradition “Godwin’s law” ) and will judge him accordingly as per the Pirate Code. (though technically, they’re more a set of guidelines).
And, yes, I have been convinced by others here, that should master Vanderleun die by his own hand, he should not be missed, and not even “the Russert Rule”, requiring a period however short, of respectful mourning, shall be invoked.
What say ye?