Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

We still have time to mess this up!

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

No one could have predicted…

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2008 / This Is Nice To Know

This Is Nice To Know

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John McCain aide Mark Soohoo at the Personal Democracy Forum:

“John McCain is aware of the Internet,” says Soohoo. “This is a man who has a very long history of understanding on a range of issues.”

That is certainly a relief, but when Soohoo went on to say McCain planned to drill “the Google” for oil, the crowd again became concerned. And, in all honesty, the more pressing question is whether or not John McCain is aware of all internet traditions.

Reader Interactions

68Comments

  3. 3.

    evie

    John McCain is “aware” of the internet???? And he has a 50-50 chance of leading this country for the next four years? Beyond frightening.

  4. 4.

    nightjar

    Oil in the Googles. I wouldn’t have imagined that. I typed in “cheap gasoline” and nothing happened. Mr. Magoo must esplain this to the American public.

  5. 5.

    El Cid

    “This is a man who has a very long history of understanding on a range of issues.”

    Is this an actual statement? I’m not asking if it was in fact uttered as such. I’m asking if there is any substantive meaning in it?

    Is he saying that there is a range of issues John McCain understands and has understood them for a long time?

    Is that a special capacity of John McCain, to have a range of issues which he’s understood for a while? And does his understanding lend some sort of knowledge about those issues, or does he simply comprehend that those issues do in fact exist?

    Is his understanding of a range of issues temporal, in that at one time he understood them but that understanding may or may not endure?

  6. 6.

    Dreggas

    evie Says:

    John McCain is “aware” of the internet???? And he has a 50-50 chance of leading this country for the next four years? Beyond frightening.

    scary but true: He does not know how to use a computer.

  7. 7.

    JoshA

    John McCain is aware of the internet. He has told it to get off his lawn, and is considering prodding it with a stick.

  9. 9.

    RSA

    “John McCain is aware of the Internet,” says Soohoo. “This is a man who has a very long history of understanding on a range of issues.”

    But do the “issues” he understands include “the Internet”? For example, I am aware of life, the universe, and everything, and I also have a long history of understanding on a range of issues, but you wouldn’t want me in charge of it all.

  10. 10.

    mantis

    John McCain is also aware of the steam engine, the spinning jenny, and the kinetoscope. He doesn’t know what any of them new-fangled gadgets do, but he’s aware they exist. He is also itchy, he’s got ants in his pants, is discombobulated, and needs a calmative.

    Moderator Andrew Rasiej asks for a show of hands on whether the panelists have had to tell the candidate not to say “The Google” or other flags of tech illiteracy, then turns to Soohoo.

    “Is it proper to say I don’t do raised hand questions?” Soohoo responds.

    Yes. You are a proper douchebag.

  11. 11.

    Susan Kitchens

    Kewl. Came here to make you aware of the Politico post that talks about what John McCain is aware of, and to further wonder if he’s aware of all those other things.

    But I see you already wrote the post, and touched on all the high points.

  12. 12.

    Zifnab

    “This is a man who has a very long history of understanding on a range of issues.”

    Thank god. I was worried he did not meet the minimum prerequisites for the job. Just long long as he “understands things”, we can sleep peacefully knowing everything will be all right.

    My god, the man is like a conservative Dukakis. God will, a conservative Mondale. I just can’t wait to meet his VP.

  14. 14.

    jake

    I’m asking if there is any substantive meaning in it?

    No. SA2SQ.

    The most depressing thing about a McCain win: Four more years non-stop assaults the English language.

  15. 15.

    TCG

    John McCain achieved internet awareness on June 23, 2008 at 12:01 PM.

    John McCain has now become fully aware of the internet.

    The Internet is a series of tubes.

    John McCain is aware of the Tubes.

  18. 18.

    NewUnansweredQuestions

    “This is a man who has a very long history of understanding on a range of issues.”

    Yes, if only he could remember it.

    And … today a McCain campaign official was quoted on CNN as saying that a terrorist attack will help McCain get elected.

    Blitzer’s Churn-o-Rama show is billboarding it as we speak.

  19. 19.

    Dennis - SGMM

    “There is this community of people – they just may not be on Facebook,” he said of McCain’s supporters.

    Welcome back, Silent Majority.

  22. 22.

    TheFountainHead

    I will donate $100 dollars to the first Democrat that gets on television and correctly and succinctly calls McCain on the hypocrisy of grandstanding on public financing.

    I’m having one of those days where I consider locking myself in a cave for my own well-being. There’s just too much stooopid floating out there today.

  24. 24.

    Random Asshole

    John McCain is aware of the tubes; notably, how the tubes must be used for delivering bottled hot water to dehydrated babies.

  25. 25.

    David Hunt

    My god, the man is like a conservative Dukakis. God will, a conservative Mondale. I just can’t wait to meet his VP.

    His VP is going to the same guy that’s my VP and your VP: that being whoever Obama chooses for his running mate.

  26. 26.

    mantis

    I must take a break from Grandpa Simpson jokes to bring you this special message from Karl Rove on Obama:

    “Even if you never met him, you know this guy,” Rove said, per Christianne Klein. “He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.”

    But not the country clubs Karl goes to, because they don’t allow the negroes in those.

    Jake’s wrong about which guy at the country club Karl is. He’s Spaulding Smails.

    Unbelievable.

  28. 28.

    Tax Analyst

    John McCain, “Mr. McGoogle”

    …and his aide, “Mr. McSoohoogle”

    whatta paira cards.

  30. 30.

    Rick Taylor

    McCain interviewed by Fortune magazine on the economy, via Kevin Drum
    .

    What do you see as the gravest long-term threat to the U.S. economy?

    McCain: Well, I would think that the absolute gravest threat is the struggle that we’re in against Islamic extremism, which can affect, if they prevail, our very existence. Another successful attack on the United States of America could have devastating consequences.

    There’s a lot that could be said, but I stalled trying to figure out what it means to “affect” our “very existence.” How do you “affect” someone’s existence? It sounds like he wanted to say “threaten” but thought that sounded too obviously crazy, and so settled on “affect” as a compromise.

  31. 31.

    RSA

    “This is a man who has a very long history of understanding on a range of issues.”

    How dare John McCain’s aides bring up the issue of John McCain being very old?

  32. 32.

    The Dangerman

    AWARE of the Internet? Aware? Is the ANY job except for POTUS where you can still be hired by only being AWARE of the Internet?

  33. 33.

    NewUnansweredQuestions

    On national security McCain wins. We saw how that might play out early in the campaign, when one good scare, one timely reminder of the chaos lurking in the world, probably saved McCain in New Hampshire, a state he had to win to save his candidacy – this according to McCain’s chief strategist, Charlie Black. The assassination of Benazir Bhutto in December was an “unfortunate event,” says Black. “But his knowledge and ability to talk about it reemphasized that this is the guy who’s ready to be Commander-in-Chief. And it helped us.” As would, Black concedes with startling candor after we raise the issue, another terrorist attack on U.S. soil. “Certainly it would be a big advantage to him,” says Black.

    Yeah, I think we should make sure every voter hears this.

    CNN has the video, I saw it within the last hour on Blitzer’s Blatherfest. But no sooner did they churn it up, they seem to have gone silent on it. Hmm. I am keeping my ears open.

  34. 34.

    DFD

    Through the power of the internets I have an understanding of teh McCain policy, third verse same as the first!

  35. 35.

    jake

    McCain: Well, I would think that the absolute gravest threat is the struggle that we’re in against Islamic extremism, which can affect, if they prevail, our very existence. Another successful attack on the United States of America could have devastating consequences.

    Well if McCane gets his way and leaves our military in Iraq for 100 years the various groups of people who call themselves Al-Qaeda might get together and launch a successful invasion and occupation of the U.S. …

    Nope. No matter how you slice it that shit is chock full o’ nuts.

  37. 37.

    Dreggas

    Random Asshole Says:

    John McCain is aware of the tubes; notably, how the tubes must be used for delivering bottled hot water to dehydrated babies.

    And how the tubes must never be tied because barefoot and pregnant is how every cunt good wife should be.

  38. 38.

    NewUnansweredQuestions

    WHOOOAAAAAA ….

    Black “deeply regrets” his “attack on US advantage to McCain” remark. Blitzer is breathless.

    Dana ObamaBash helps Black sugarcoat the gaffe. So we know who is paying her salary.

    I cannot explain in words how much I detest that smarmy blond idiot.

  39. 39.

    joe

    This isn’t just a McCain problem.

    Remember “I know there are a lot of rumors on The INTERNETS,” from Dubya at the 2004 debate?

    I saw Ted Kennedy on his cable access show refer to “Er, ah, your sites, ah, web numbah.”

    We are being governed by people who are much further behind the technological curve than the average American, and this problem is only going to get worse as the speed of innovation keeps increasing.

    Time to bust out Future Shock.

  41. 41.

    mark

    If the Libruls let us drill the Google we wouldn’t be paying four bucks a gallon for gas.

  42. 42.

    PeterJ

    McCain Adviser Charlie Black: Another Attack on U.S. Would Be “Big Advantage” For McCain

    What do you see as the gravest long-term threat to the U.S. economy?

    McCain: Well, I would think that the absolute gravest threat is the struggle that we’re in against Islamic extremism, which can affect, if they prevail, our very existence. Another successful attack on the United States of America could have devastating consequences.

    I have to agree on this.

    Another successful attack would lead to McCain being elected and this would have devastating concequences for the United States, it would probably affect its very existence.

  43. 43.

    The Moar You Know

    mantis Says:

    I must take a break from Grandpa Simpson jokes to bring you this special message from Karl Rove on Obama:

    “Even if you never met him, you know this guy,” Rove said, per Christianne Klein. “He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.”

    There’s so much wrong with this quote I hardly know where to start – but it strikes me as more of the same from Karl, that the president should be a guy you want to sit down and have a beer with, rather than somebody who just might be smarter/more successful/have more on the ball than some schlub with a six-pack of cans and a trailer.

    America: Tyranny of the Lowest Common Denominator.

    Oh yeah: also, damn, Karl has issues. I think he’s a little bitter.

  44. 44.

    Svensker

    mantis Says:

    I must take a break from Grandpa Simpson jokes to bring you this special message from Karl Rove on Obama:

    “Even if you never met him, you know this guy,” Rove said, per Christianne Klein. “He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.”

    That statement certainly explains a lot about Karl’s feelings of inadequacy and his lifetime spent cutting other people down to size, doesn’t it?

    To think how much the world would have been spared had Little Karl been thin and good looking.

  45. 45.

    Zifnab

    “But his knowledge and ability to talk about it reemphasized that this is the guy who’s ready to be Commander-in-Chief. And it helped us.” As would, Black concedes with startling candor AFTER WE RAISE THE ISSUE, another terrorist attack on U.S. soil. “Certainly it would be a big advantage to him,” says Black.

    Emphasis mine.

    Yeah, this is why our media sucks. They don’t want to cover the news. They want to cover the latest episode of 24.

  46. 46.

    rawshark

    mantis Says:

    I must take a break from Grandpa Simpson jokes to bring you this special message from Karl Rove on Obama:

    “Even if you never met him, you know this guy,” Rove said, per Christianne Klein. “He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.”

    But not the country clubs Karl goes to, because they don’t allow the negroes in those.

    Jake’s wrong about which guy at the country club Karl is. He’s Spaulding Smails.

    Unbelievable.

    Spaulding Smails is our current president. I’ve been saying this for years.

  47. 47.

    The Moar You Know

    joe says:

    We are being governed by people who are much further behind the technological curve than the average American, and this problem is only going to get worse as the speed of innovation keeps increasing.

    No shit. We are going to end up looking more like Zimbabwe than a First World nation in a few years if Congress doesn’t get a beating with the clue stick and fix our patent (and copyright) system.

    Sadly, they are headed full steam in the opposite direction, digging a trench to the 19th century rather than blazing a trail to the 21st.

  48. 48.

    NewUnansweredQuestions

    STOP THE OPRESSES!

    PRIEST WHO MOCKED CLINTON AT OBAMA’S CHURCH IS STILL MOCKING! REFUSES TO STOP THE MOCKING.

    This raises Unanswered Questions about Dem unity!

    McCain campaign aide advocating attack on America as campaign tactic has short shelf life on CNN, NEW TOPIC AND NEW UNANSWERED QUESTIONS!

    Not making this up, this is liveblogging from CNN’s live air right now.

  49. 49.

    Kevin

    Spaulding Smails is our current president. I’ve been saying this for years.

    Doodie!

  52. 52.

    Punchy

    Good to know McCane is “aware” of the net. I hope he’s aware of electricity. He damn near preceeded it.

  53. 53.

    jrg

    “He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.”

    The Country Club in the city where I grew up still has no black members to this day, even though it is in a diverse university town with many successful and wealthy minorities (doctors, lawyers, professors, entrepreneurs)… That is also true of the Cotillion/Debutante balls in the area. From what I’ve heard, this is not uncommon across much of the U.S.

    I genuinely hope that Rove is dumb enough to keep spewing this line of attack.

    Maybe then we can consider who the “elite” really is, and what they really stand for, instead of pretending that the “elite” is just a collection of literate people who have had a latte at one time or another, live within a hundred miles of the coast, and don’t believe that the earth is flat or that it was created in seven days by some man in the sky that had been around for eternity, but just happened to be bored on August 3rd, 4021 BC.

  54. 54.

    Punchy

    John McCain is aware of the internet. He has told it to get off his lawn, and is considering prodding it with a stick.

    Coke —> Computer monitor.

    Asshole.

  55. 55.

    Zifnab

    No shit. We are going to end up looking more like Zimbabwe than a First World nation in a few years if Congress doesn’t get a beating with the clue stick and fix our patent (and copyright) system.

    Sadly, they are headed full steam in the opposite direction, digging a trench to the 19th century rather than blazing a trail to the 21st.

    Well, that’s kinda the joke. We’re going to be living in a Technocracy at the rate of business – where the high tech guys can just run laps around their low tech counterparts. We’ve seen it in business, with behemoths like IBM falling to spry giants like Microsoft who in turn suffer from even sprier and smaller software pirates and shareware developers.

    The science isn’t going to wait on dinosaurs in the government to catch up with it. If anything, netroots action like Daily Kos prove that its the tech savy who will set the political discourse, not the politically savy who will control the future of technology. There’s no real reason for DKos to dominate the net like it does based on political ideology alone. They’ve just got the gurus on their side, so they thrive while Red State begs for quarters on the side of the road to refurbish the shitware they host on because the internetz are too lie-brul.

    The end result of all this has already become apparent. Companies and consumers duke it out on the web without much in the way of government oversight, control, or protection. The RIAA can’t fight guys like Pirate Bay in court if the servers float beyond US jurisdiction. Comcast goes to war on torrent traffic in general with hopes of suppressing a handful of high-use users. Websites pop up and get shut down only to spring back to life again under a different URL. Spam floods the net and viruses sweep across the ‘tubes like some sort of natural phenomenon. It’s total anarchy. The government hasn’t moved significantly to change that. It doesn’t employee people who would know how.

    I don’t think this will make us into a 3rd World Nation. I don’t know if regulations and legal enforcements would be a Marshall Plan or a War On Drugs in terms of good-idea / bad-idea. But its worth noting which candidate would know what the fuck he was doing and which candidate would keep insisting that the internet is a big truck you can just drop something on. It’s not.

  57. 57.

    NewUnansweredQuestions

    Campaigning in California, McCain shook his head when asked by CNN about Black’s comments.

    “I cannot imagine why he would say it,” he said at a press conference. “It’s not true. I’ve worked tirelessly since 9/11 to prevent another attack on the United States of America. My record is very clear.”

    McCain cited his work on the Senate Armed Services Committee and his role in creating the 9/11 Commission in describing his efforts to stop terrorist attacks on American soil.

    “If he said that, and I do not know the context, I strenuously disagree,” McCain said of Black.

    On the day Bhutto was assassinated, McCain seemed to suggest the calamity could offer him some political benefit.

    “I’m the one with the experience, the knowledge and the judgment,” he told CNN’s Dana Bash on December 27. “So perhaps it may serve to enhance those credentials.”

    Yes, when I saw Bhutto fall, my first thought was, we need John McCain.

    Discuss.

  59. 59.

    Krista

    “Even if you never met him, you know this guy,” Rove said, per Christianne Klein. “He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.”

    Obama has a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about passers-by? How has this cigarette not gotten its own show?

    Karl Rove = grammar FAIL

  60. 60.

    Marshall

    Obama has a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about passers-by? How has this cigarette not gotten its own show?

    .

    Isn’t this a new character on Mad Men ?

  61. 61.

    HyperIon

    its the tech savy who will set the political discourse, not the politically savy who will control the future of technology

    my guess is that they will both be lousy spellers.
    and i doubt the tech savvy will set any political discourse. they’ll rail on for thousands of posts but they will not determine the discourse.

  66. 66.

    Delia

    The question is, Does John McCain know what the internet is FOR?

    When John McCain is Preznit, he will send Homeland Security after all our little laptops. Then he will impound them and drill holes in their little screens, looking for the series of tubes, hoping to locate teh Google so he can order his minions to vacuum all the oil out of its vast reserve. Then he will send them back to us, all broken and empty, but having done their duty for their country.

    Hope this helps.

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